Achieving your wildest dreams or is it worth being comfortable in your job

[BlokeInProgress]

Update 1:​

​

I'm creating this thread of mine as this has been my problem ever since. I've been in the forum for quite some time, getting motivated to go through achieving my dreams but stopping once the path gets murky or I get uncomfortable or I find it difficult that I don't know what to do. I often just return to my comfort zone - corporate life. I really can't say I'm hating the corporate life as it provides me food on the table and some extra. I work hard at my job and I think I'm good at it but at the back of my head, I wish I can earn more. So I start several business through the years but haven't really broken the thousand dollar mark, its a good side hustle but for me unsustainable 'coz I also have to spend time at work and with the people I love and do the things to keep me happy.​

​

I want to track my progress, generate ideas for my next business or even go back to my previous business again and relaunch it (I did Amazon FBA previously but gave up 'coz of too many competitions. I did another business with my friends but I didn't like it as we have different goals for the business and different strategies.).​

​

As of today, I still don't have any idea of what I'd do but I'm thinking about it every day. There's a big event in my life happening this next few months which I would like to prioritize but I did craft a plan for January onwards.​

​

After returning to work, I'd be asking for added compensation at work for additional work that I do and what I bring to the company and my team (this extra $$ coming in will go towards the business I'd find). If I won't get it from work, I'd be looking outside. I'd also be focusing on my health, bringing it to optimum level so at least I can have more energy and a sharp mind for the months to come as I would need it for my next business. While at it, I'm continuously learning about leadership for my career so I can take care of my team better.​

​

​

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Achieving your wildest dreams or is it worth being comfortable in your job​

Bottomline, you're going to find out!

Your actions, and hence your results, will demonstrate you prioritizations.

Time always tells the truth.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Bottomline, you're going to find out!

Your actions, and hence your results, will demonstrate you prioritizations.

Time always tells the truth.

True, time will tell. But currently its so true, when your mindset shifts and focuses on priorities, actions changes and the more I do it the more it becomes a habit. Again, Time will tell and I hope I dont disappoint this time.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Update 2:

Time to add details.

My first goal right now is to get my health (physical and mental) back on track, I'm not aiming for fit or muscular body (though I'd like to have those), but with the time I have after all my schedule and with the current state of my body, I can only do as much. A year ago, I went crazy over bouldering/indoor climbing and I was progressing quite well. I started adding more and more exercises to get my strength up but I ended up with several injuries. I wasn't climbing that much, mostly 2-3 times a week and about 1-2hrs of climbing (with rest). Suddenly my shoulder hurt and I was out of climbing for 2 months. Then while healing, I had another injury on my glutes, then my neck and back started hurting.

Consulted a bunch of chiro and physio and did my own research. Now I have a plan to get everything back on track. My diet is the worst (so many damn good food out there), and still under planning. I'm now starting a stretching routine, trying out yoga and Pilates for injury prevention. So far I am on my 4th day of continuously doing it and I'm starting to feel a bit of a change. Like what MJ said, you'd need a feedback, a good feedback of your progress keeps you going. As for diet, I started taking meal replacement shakes, I'm not gaining but I'm not losing as well. Again, diet is in progress, have to try a couple of different ways on doing it.

This coming 2 months, my focus is my physical and mental health, this year was a roller coaster ride for me. Been into a dark place and out of it, it's still lurking out there, but I'm ready for it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[BlokeInProgress]

Previously, I was doing Amazon FBA until the competition really got intense. Heaps of price competition, Amazon getting on some of the listings, products coming from China is easily accessible and there's just so much to do but so little margins to play with. @Walter Hay mentioned to look at something your location, region, country has that's possibly not in the market yet, and that's my goal this coming months.

I have some idea in mind and would test it.

 

[Blu H]

Since you read Fastlane & Unscripted ... have you gotten you're FTE? I've not achieved anything yet... so take this with a grain of salt... but it seems that without it... added with the comfort of Corporate Life... it's bloody hard to get off the Starting Block!

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Since you read Fastlane & Unscripted ... have you gotten you're FTE? I've not achieved anything yet... so take this with a grain of salt... but it seems that without it... added with the comfort of Corporate Life... it's bloody hard to get off the Starting Block!

I really want to thank you for spending some time reading through my thread. Everyone is busy now a days that a few minutes spared really means a lot.

As for my FTE, I've had a few of them this year but my mind wasn't in the right place back then so it actually paralyzed me to take the right action. When I say to take the right action, for example, I was so stressed at work and I hated my boss and at the end of the day, I just go home or take a leave and just spend a lot of time playing online games where I can feel I'm winning. Note that its the feeling of winning that I wanted but I got it from the wrong source and I'm ashamed of it. If I diverted the time and energy in creating a business, maybe I might have a good business now.

And you're absolutely correct, corporations can manipulate certain situations to make you stay more. A pay rise, new work, new boss, etc. and I'll feel good again until the next FTE. For me, I have to change my mindset first and prepare myself for the next FTE. And one more thing, I have something dear to me now, to the point that I really need to succeed and reach my goal or else....

I think once you find that something that you can dedicated your success to, it easily drives you to make changes for the better.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Walter Hay]

Previously, I was doing Amazon FBA until the competition really got intense. Heaps of price competition, Amazon getting on some of the listings, products coming from China is easily accessible and there's just so much to do but so little margins to play with. @Walter Hay mentioned to look at something your location, region, country has that's possibly not in the market yet, and that's my goal this coming months.

I have some idea in mind and would test it.

There are several ways to find unique products.
1. Subscribe to magazines provided by sourcing platforms.
2. Browse any or all of the 39 export sites that I list in my book.
3. Visit numerous countries and keep your eyes and your mind open.

I provide links and instructions on how to subscribe to the magazines mentioned in 1. I also include guidance on how to navigate the sites that I have listed in 2. Some are not easy.

Regarding 3, I have taken the opportunity when in overseas countries to tour the back street markets, and the shopping areas frequented by the locals. If I found something unique in those places I bought a sample, photographed it upon my return home, and searched Google Images where in some cases I found the manufacturer.

Walter

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Update 3:
As I noted initially, I'm preparing for a big event and for 2 months I'll be off work and spending most of my time with my love ones. Before I did that, one of my goal was to speak with my manager and ask for raise. My goal is by next year my salary would increase at least 20%, its either internally or externally. With the extra cash that I take in, it would get allocated to couple of things:

1. Additional budget for the house we're planning to build
2. Fund my business idea
3. Additional support to my mom back at home
4. +Savings

Was happy I got to speak with my manager about it and we'll see by Jan how it goes. Anyway, I did a hyper apply outside and got some baseline on how much I should have been paid so at least I got options outside my current work.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Update 4:
And I'm back! I had a great 2 months holiday back in my country (been almost 3.5yrs since I saw my family), I got married and spent most of my time with family. It was a great experience, not only did I enter the next phase of my life but just seeing the changes, going down memory lane, appreciating more, building much more stronger relationships, seeing the beauty around me, it's such an awesome experience.

Now that I'm back, its time to get working!

Previously, my aim was to increase my income by either asking for a raise or looking for another job. Reason for this is to have additional cash for some of my business ideas, investments and savings. I'm still thinking of what the best business idea to have, so far some of them are:

1. Selling - either continue doing Amazon or open my own shopify store
2. Monetize youtube, blog or vlog
3. Create a service company

Note: each of them would require CENTS thinking.

I'm also adding my health in my goals for this year 'coz I've been eating a lot of food (not that healthy) this past 2 months and gained several kgs already.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Robdavis]

Sounds to me like you should quit your job.
From the way you write it seems that your job is very comfortable for you and on the odd occasion that you have some trouble at work you can just escape with video games. So you have a wish to start your own business but if you ever have any trouble or struggle with that, then you can just give up the business and go back to your day job and the video games escape back up.
This thread reads like a biography of a classic slowlaner / sidewalker. Nothing ever really goes badly wrong or very right and so there's no emotional intensity.
Beware the dangers of too much comfort in your life.
As Ant Middleton says, "without fear there's no challenge, without challenge there's no growth, without growth there's no life."

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Sounds to me like you should quit your job.

Thanks for the time reading my progress and giving some feedback.
I think some decisions depends on the situation each of us are in. Situation changes, I was in that boat before where I normally thought and would easily advise people to quit their job, burn the bridges so there's no way of going back but unfortunately, an event happened that I wasn't ready...such loss happened which taught me to try covering all bases before jumping ship.

Beware the dangers of too much comfort in your life.

This is something good to remember and I'll keep this in mind every time. Thanks for this.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Sounds to me like you should quit your job.
From the way you write it seems that your job is very comfortable for you and on the odd occasion that you have some trouble at work you can just escape with video games. So you have a wish to start your own business but if you ever have any trouble or struggle with that, then you can just give up the business and go back to your day job and the video games escape back up.
This thread reads like a biography of a classic slowlaner / sidewalker. Nothing ever really goes badly wrong or very right and so there's no emotional intensity.
Beware the dangers of too much comfort in your life.
As Ant Middleton says, "without fear there's no challenge, without challenge there's no growth, without growth there's no life."

By the way, I've been listening to Ant Middleton in Audible (First man in and Fear Bubble) lately as well. He gives good advise from his personal experience.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[BlokeInProgress]

Update 5:

Health wise - so much puffing and couching when running, whew! I feel so heavy that getting up the stairs causes me to puff and huff, its my heaviest weight so far but I've been walking, jogging and swimming now a days plus I went back to my previous meals (low calories - lunch and shake in the evening). One of my challenging is my tummy, its been aching ever since I gained weight and most of the time now I get acid reflux and indigestion. Augh, its getting tougher and tougher to get back to healthy state! Still, I'm pushing forward!

Workwise - I decided to get focused on building my team's skills and competency, same goes in mine. I just want to leave a legacy even with my team. Salary discussion has been started and still waiting for the final number. I have a salary goal this year and if I'll get it! This would help me with my business venture.

Business - I got 2 ideas and one of my product idea is now in-progress. I'm consulting with some people who are knowledgeable in the industry that I'd like to go in and get some of their feedback. I've setup a couple of consultations with them next week. While my 2nd idea is going back to Amazon FBA but I'm having second thoughts as its too crowded now so I'm still assessing how to approach it.

So far, I'm happy with my progress and will share more soon.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Update 6:
I guess I was already expecting the bad news, its been a dragging topic for a couple of months now. The advantage is now back on corporates side, salary increases, high paying offers and job openings are slowing down. And yes, I didn't get the increase that I was asking, plan B then!

I've started applying in different companies and this would definitely take some time but continuous effort will make the tide turn to my advantage.

As I continue looking for the increase that I'm looking for, I started something in the side. Creating a product. Now, hold on, I'm still in the early process of the Grind so in this step I should identify a need, identify the a pain point, complaints, etc. But some would ask, ok but where? What field? What niche?​

​

For me, I have an idea of what NICHE and what problem does the NICHE or people in the NICHE have. How? Because I'm part of it. Before looking outside and wide, why not look inside?!​

​

And so its time to validate...l'll be looking at places where my audience hangs out, get familiar with them, define my target audience/person, follow who they follow, got to open my eyes and ears and be aware. That's my plan this first month. Identify my audience and validate!​

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Update 7:
Went through a lot of thought this past few days, consulted and consulted several people of my thought pattern and decided to pick a Niche that I am familiar with. Seems like my "who" was simply me as well.

Advantage is I can list several of my "who's" problems, complaints and some of the things that annoy me. This part has been eye opening as there are heaps of products that are already coming to my mind on how to answer my "who's" challenges. Now I'm building my "Who" community, share my journey and personally know them. Serve them as much as I can with no products yet but with at least some of my experience, tips and tricks. Soon I'll share my journey in building products for them but for now, it's time to find my audience.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Subsonic]

Update 1:​

​

I'm creating this thread of mine as this has been my problem ever since. I've been in the forum for quite some time, getting motivated to go through achieving my dreams but stopping once the path gets murky or I get uncomfortable or I find it difficult that I don't know what to do. I often just return to my comfort zone - corporate life. I really can't say I'm hating the corporate life as it provides me food on the table and some extra. I work hard at my job and I think I'm good at it but at the back of my head, I wish I can earn more. So I start several business through the years but haven't really broken the thousand dollar mark, its a good side hustle but for me unsustainable 'coz I also have to spend time at work and with the people I love and do the things to keep me happy.​

​

I want to track my progress, generate ideas for my next business or even go back to my previous business again and relaunch it (I did Amazon FBA previously but gave up 'coz of too many competitions. I did another business with my friends but I didn't like it as we have different goals for the business and different strategies.).​

​

As of today, I still don't have any idea of what I'd do but I'm thinking about it every day. There's a big event in my life happening this next few months which I would like to prioritize but I did craft a plan for January onwards.​

​

After returning to work, I'd be asking for added compensation at work for additional work that I do and what I bring to the company and my team (this extra $$ coming in will go towards the business I'd find). If I won't get it from work, I'd be looking outside. I'd also be focusing on my health, bringing it to optimum level so at least I can have more energy and a sharp mind for the months to come as I would need it for my next business. While at it, I'm continuously learning about leadership for my career so I can take care of my team better.​

​

​

I read through your post and I can already see your problem.
You like the idea of making more money but that's it.
There is no FTE and no purpose.

Your being indecisive right now. In reality that means you choose your current life path. Look in the future. What will your life look like in 10 years if you keep being indecisive?

You have all these excuses for why you don't start but would they apply if you had a actual purpose for working?
Imagine your children would die if you don't build a 5k a month business in the next 4 months. Would you have time and energy to do the work then ?
See

You already have it in you.
So go and take real action. No blog. No youtube channel. No dropshipping.
A real business that solves a real problem.

If you choose to not take action, this is the end of your life. You will keep working in your job, waiting for "one day" untill you are suddenly 70 with no memories of the last 40 years, since nothing interesting happened in that time. Then you will be too old to build anything meaningful or experience things and spent your last years mourning the life you could have had.

Or you choose to take a risk. You give up the thing that "make you happy" and instead take the time to build a business. You quit your job and downsize living so you can focus on that business. Then you get a confirmed productocracy. Your revenue and profit soars to the moon and beyond anything you could have ever earned. A year later you sell the business for 10s of millions and now you can do whatever you want. And you will have the fond memories of the struggle.


What path will you choose?
"Someday" or Today...

 

[BlokeInProgress]

You already have it in you.
So go and take real action. No blog. No youtube channel. No dropshipping.
A real business that solves a real problem.

I love what you said here. Surely going to keep pushing forward and start today.

You quit your job and downsize living so you can focus on that business.

This is somewhat a default response from a lot of people who doesn't know any circumstances of the other person. But some people may have the option to do this in a blink of an eye, while others doesn't but surely this is one of the options but not for everyone.

Your being indecisive right now. In reality that means you choose your current life path. Look in the future. What will your life look like in 10 years if you keep being indecisive?

Totally agree, like you said in your previous post here, the FTE surely hasn't happened yet or not that big that causes me to take action and decide. But the advise you gave here is such a great one...looking into the future and what my life would look like if...there was action and decision vs what if I just stayed in my lane.

Appreciate your reply and keep us updated with your current business mate.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

A year have passed and thankful for it. A lot has happened in my life, a couple of changes but no where near the life I wanted. The grasp of corporate life, security, salary raises and the feeling of career growth took over.

Things I realized about myself:

• I get drawn back to a job easily by salary and security
• I always fall for the shinny object syndrome
• I do so much at the same time that I get stressed easily
• I eat too much when I'm stressed
• I start a lot of things but I don't see it through completion
• When life is good, I get too comfortable
• I no longer know my why
• I easy get persuaded and give too much trust to people
• I don't like conflict and always avoid it

I recognize I have a lot to work with and those are my goals this year. In addition, starting my business again, idea thinking and posting progress here.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Blu H]

A year have passed and thankful for it. A lot has happened in my life, a couple of changes but no where near the life I wanted. The grasp of corporate life, security, salary raises and the feeling of career growth took over.

Things I realized about myself:

• I get drawn back to a job easily by salary and security
• I always fall for the shinny object syndrome
• I do so much at the same time that I get stressed easily
• I eat too much when I'm stressed
• I start a lot of things but I don't see it through completion
• When life is good, I get too comfortable
• I no longer know my why
• I easy get persuaded and give too much trust to people
• I don't like conflict and always avoid it

I recognize I have a lot to work with and those are my goals this year. In addition, starting my business again, idea thinking and posting progress here.

As Someone in a Similar situation to yours... due to various Situations valid excuses... but still excuses) recently re-reading The Millionaire Fastlane as lit a Fire under me a bit!

Similarly to me... you seem to have an issue with consistently executing... to be a do-er! And when doing... got reminded from an old MJ Video to stop pushing... and to start pulling!

 

[Lygia]

Hi there!

I’ve read through your thread and actually have a lot of thoughts about this. I haven’t achieved my big entrepreneurial dreams yet, but I’ve managed to grow and keep a profitable e-commerce business in a small niche for more than a decade now, so maybe I know a thing or two that could hopefully help you in some way.

Do you realize you’ve been posting here saying you’ll show us your progress with your business since 2022? We’re in February 2024, and your last post was still saying the same thing. It seems to me that this inaction could be a symptom of the following things: fear of risk and the unknown, lack of discipline, overthinking, and fear of commitment.

I usually refrain from giving advice to anyone since, as my parents always say, “our experiences are only of use to ourselves,” so I’ll only share what I’ve learned throughout the years. If even one tiny thing prompts you to reflect on your situation or proves somehow useful to you, then I’m happy to have taken the time to write this.

(This is going to be a looong post; please bear with me.)

Fear of risk and the unknown

I’ll translate an excerpt from a text written by a highly successful entrepreneur from my country:

“You’re not scared of leaving your comfort zone. You’re scared of failing, more specifically, you’re scared of its consequences:

1. people gossiping about your failure, and at the same time pretending to sympathize
2. you wasting time and/or money
3. you suffering some negative impact that’s irreversible and never being able to get back up again and resume your life

Of all three of them, the third one needs to be avoided at all costs. Don’t take risks that, in the event of a failure, would put you and your family in a situation of financial ruin, or would irreversibly destroy your health. If something poses such a risk, don't take it, even if it only has a 1% chance of occurring.

Now, items (1) and (2) are part of the game.

Failing or succeeding, people will talk shit about you anyway. Nobody criticizes invisible people. Those who stand out, whether through mistakes or successes, sooner or later, begin to be targeted.

In terms of wasting time and/or money, this is the least you can put on the table to risk aiming for something more. Get used to it. Or do you think it’s possible to build a company or pay for a postgraduate course for 2 years without running the risk of having done all this and it never amounting to anything?

Nothing above average will come without risk.”


Lack of discipline

I've learned that discipline is one of the main tools for building self-confidence and self-esteem. When you prove to yourself that you can keep your word and do what you said you would do, you build self-confidence. You show that you can follow through with any goal you set for yourself. You start believing you're capable of achieving whatever you want to achieve because your past actions prove this belief. When your belief has concrete proof, it's truthful. This gives you power.

I've learned that when you live a comfortable life without major challenges, you need to set a constant, daily reminder of the life you actually want to have. The inevitable contrast between your dream life and your present one helps create at least a state—however small and manufactured—of discomfort that can spark action.

I realized I needed a mechanism to force me to stop living life on automatic and actually see what I was doing on a daily basis. At some point in the past, I decided that I would take photos of what I was doing every day so that I could make a real assessment of how I was spending my weeks, months, and years. The antidote to life's automatic routine is constant awareness.

Beside the other things I did mentioned in this post here, this year I bought a small whiteboard that I hung on the wall near my bed. A part of it has a list of my daily tasks, and the other part has the goals I need to achieve that month. The board is arranged in my room in such a way that it's impossible for me to avoid looking at it, and, consequently, it's impossible to ignore the goals I've set for myself. Not taking action on them, when they are staring at me right in the face and reminding me of their existence every day, feels more shameful and uncomfortable than the discomfort of working on my goals. You have to make the pain of inaction greater than the pain of action. Find the fuel that will make you act. I'm the type of person who works better doing things out of anger or to avoid shame than out of motivation or even enthusiasm.


Overthinking

This year, I've committed myself to taking back the type of curiosity I had when I was a little girl. I have a (sometimes good, sometimes bad) habit of visualizing an idea and imagining its outcome decades down the road, the moment of victory after years of work. This is good and bad for two reasons: good because it gets me motivated to make it happen, and bad because it ends up leaving me a bit overwhelmed when I realize all the things I don't know and all the complications and changes that will be necessary throughout the development of that idea.

So I try to go back to a state of childlike curiosity. Childlike curiosity isn’t concerned with the future, but with the present. It doesn't waste time wondering if this business idea is good enough, if there isn't a better one out there, if it will bear any fruit, if it will get super complex and challenging later on. It doesn’t paralyze itself by overthinking all the possibilities and future complications. It just takes an interest in an idea and thinks, Oh, that sounds exciting! I want to do that! And it does. It takes the first tiny baby step. And then another.

When I opened my little online store, I was 12 years old. I remember being excited about the idea I had, and all I wanted to do at that moment was put it into practice, bring it to the real world, and show it to real people. Develop my product and make my first sale. I had dealt with the consequences, good and bad, as they came—in the same carefree way that children dip their toes in the water and let the waves reach their skin. They don't anticipate the waves. The waves are going to come anyway; they know that, so why fear them or waste time worrying about them? The waves can be cold or warm. Big or small. Take you by surprise or seem obvious. Almost drown you or embrace your body. But that's the adventure, isn't it? Being close enough to the sea. All they need to do is dip their toe in the water, sink their feet into the sand, and stay.


Fear of commitment

Here's a passage written by Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks:

"I think that in keeping your options open, in refusing to commit to things—career paths, relationships, anything—there is that feeling, isn't there? That you retain the control because you haven't allowed yourself to be pinned down to enter your life completely. You're holding back, you could walk away from anything at any moment.

And it feels like you’re maintaining the control of the situation but because time just keeps on marching on, if you do that for very long you end up using up large chunks of your life you never get back just holding back from life. So, burning bridges, making irreversible commitments is a counter force to that because it acknowledges your limitations, it says I only have one life to live, it says At some point I have to go all in on something, it sacrifices that lovely feeling of being in control because you haven't committed to anything. And what you get in return is to enter more fully into the real experience of being alive while you still are."

This is what commitment feels like to me

Committing to something means I'm making a promise to myself to keep working on that one thing, even if a thousand other ideas seem better and prettier and easier.

Committing to that one thing means it is the first thing I'm working on right in the morning, after breakfast, and before anything else.

Committing to it means I will strive to move forward a little bit every day, even if on some days it's one percent and on others it's ten percent.

It means I won't speculate about the infinite possibilities of a nebulous future, but will focus on what I can do now and figure out what my next tiny baby step will be.

It means allowing myself to have days of sadness, doubt, and defeat, allowing myself to cry and want to quit everything, and the next day going back to work as if nothing happened.

It means accepting and welcoming my emotions, but not letting them dictate my actions.

It means keeping my word to myself and staying true to a path for years.


A few last remarks

1- The biggest risk of all in life is to take no risk at all.

2- You don't need to quit your job to start and build a business from scratch, but you do need to prioritize your business before anything else and make sure you take action to develop it every day.

3- When you're in a comfortable situation, it's up to you to create your own discomfort. It's up to you to remind yourself daily of all the unkept promises you've made to yourself.

5- You have to be careful not to let your emotions, routine, and challenges take you off your path.

6- You don't need to complicate anything. You just need to dip your toes in the water and take that first step. And then another. And the next one. For years.

One last passage of text from the same entrepreneur mentioned on that first topic:

"Let me tell you about my criteria for giving up... I only give up when it stops making sense in the long run. I don't quit because it's difficult. I don't quit because I find the task boring. I don't give up because I'm tired. And I don't give up because I failed the first, second, third, tenth time.

I only give up when it stops making sense in my long-term vision. As long as this condition is met, the message I give myself after each failure will always be the same: 'Again!’”


I hope this has helped you in some way. Best of luck!

 

[Blu H]

Hi there!

I’ve read through your thread and actually have a lot of thoughts about this. I haven’t achieved my big entrepreneurial dreams yet, but I’ve managed to grow and keep a profitable e-commerce business in a small niche for more than a decade now, so maybe I know a thing or two that could hopefully help you in some way.

Do you realize you’ve been posting here saying you’ll show us your progress with your business since 2022? We’re in February 2024, and your last post was still saying the same thing. It seems to me that this inaction could be a symptom of the following things: fear of risk and the unknown, lack of discipline, overthinking, and fear of commitment.

I usually refrain from giving advice to anyone since, as my parents always say, “our experiences are only of use to ourselves,” so I’ll only share what I’ve learned throughout the years. If even one tiny thing prompts you to reflect on your situation or proves somehow useful to you, then I’m happy to have taken the time to write this.

(This is going to be a looong post; please bear with me.)

Fear of risk and the unknown

I’ll translate an excerpt from a text written by a highly successful entrepreneur from my country:

“You’re not scared of leaving your comfort zone. You’re scared of failing, more specifically, you’re scared of its consequences:

1. people gossiping about your failure, and at the same time pretending to sympathize
2. you wasting time and/or money
3. you suffering some negative impact that’s irreversible and never being able to get back up again and resume your life

Of all three of them, the third one needs to be avoided at all costs. Don’t take risks that, in the event of a failure, would put you and your family in a situation of financial ruin, or would irreversibly destroy your health. If something poses such a risk, don't take it, even if it only has a 1% chance of occurring.

Now, items (1) and (2) are part of the game.

Failing or succeeding, people will talk shit about you anyway. Nobody criticizes invisible people. Those who stand out, whether through mistakes or successes, sooner or later, begin to be targeted.

In terms of wasting time and/or money, this is the least you can put on the table to risk aiming for something more. Get used to it. Or do you think it’s possible to build a company or pay for a postgraduate course for 2 years without running the risk of having done all this and it never amounting to anything?

Nothing above average will come without risk.”


Lack of discipline

I've learned that discipline is one of the main tools for building self-confidence and self-esteem. When you prove to yourself that you can keep your word and do what you said you would do, you build self-confidence. You show that you can follow through with any goal you set for yourself. You start believing you're capable of achieving whatever you want to achieve because your past actions prove this belief. When your belief has concrete proof, it's truthful. This gives you power.

I've learned that when you live a comfortable life without major challenges, you need to set a constant, daily reminder of the life you actually want to have. The inevitable contrast between your dream life and your present one helps create at least a state—however small and manufactured—of discomfort that can spark action.

I realized I needed a mechanism to force me to stop living life on automatic and actually see what I was doing on a daily basis. At some point in the past, I decided that I would take photos of what I was doing every day so that I could make a real assessment of how I was spending my weeks, months, and years. The antidote to life's automatic routine is constant awareness.

Beside the other things I did mentioned in this post here, this year I bought a small whiteboard that I hung on the wall near my bed. A part of it has a list of my daily tasks, and the other part has the goals I need to achieve that month. The board is arranged in my room in such a way that it's impossible for me to avoid looking at it, and, consequently, it's impossible to ignore the goals I've set for myself. Not taking action on them, when they are staring at me right in the face and reminding me of their existence every day, feels more shameful and uncomfortable than the discomfort of working on my goals. You have to make the pain of inaction greater than the pain of action. Find the fuel that will make you act. I'm the type of person who works better doing things out of anger or to avoid shame than out of motivation or even enthusiasm.


Overthinking

This year, I've committed myself to taking back the type of curiosity I had when I was a little girl. I have a (sometimes good, sometimes bad) habit of visualizing an idea and imagining its outcome decades down the road, the moment of victory after years of work. This is good and bad for two reasons: good because it gets me motivated to make it happen, and bad because it ends up leaving me a bit overwhelmed when I realize all the things I don't know and all the complications and changes that will be necessary throughout the development of that idea.

So I try to go back to a state of childlike curiosity. Childlike curiosity isn’t concerned with the future, but with the present. It doesn't waste time wondering if this business idea is good enough, if there isn't a better one out there, if it will bear any fruit, if it will get super complex and challenging later on. It doesn’t paralyze itself by overthinking all the possibilities and future complications. It just takes an interest in an idea and thinks, Oh, that sounds exciting! I want to do that! And it does. It takes the first tiny baby step. And then another.

When I opened my little online store, I was 12 years old. I remember being excited about the idea I had, and all I wanted to do at that moment was put it into practice, bring it to the real world, and show it to real people. Develop my product and make my first sale. I had dealt with the consequences, good and bad, as they came—in the same carefree way that children dip their toes in the water and let the waves reach their skin. They don't anticipate the waves. The waves are going to come anyway; they know that, so why fear them or waste time worrying about them? The waves can be cold or warm. Big or small. Take you by surprise or seem obvious. Almost drown you or embrace your body. But that's the adventure, isn't it? Being close enough to the sea. All they need to do is dip their toe in the water, sink their feet into the sand, and stay.


Fear of commitment

Here's a passage written by Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks:

"I think that in keeping your options open, in refusing to commit to things—career paths, relationships, anything—there is that feeling, isn't there? That you retain the control because you haven't allowed yourself to be pinned down to enter your life completely. You're holding back, you could walk away from anything at any moment.

And it feels like you’re maintaining the control of the situation but because time just keeps on marching on, if you do that for very long you end up using up large chunks of your life you never get back just holding back from life. So, burning bridges, making irreversible commitments is a counter force to that because it acknowledges your limitations, it says I only have one life to live, it says At some point I have to go all in on something, it sacrifices that lovely feeling of being in control because you haven't committed to anything. And what you get in return is to enter more fully into the real experience of being alive while you still are."

This is what commitment feels like to me

Committing to something means I'm making a promise to myself to keep working on that one thing, even if a thousand other ideas seem better and prettier and easier.

Committing to that one thing means it is the first thing I'm working on right in the morning, after breakfast, and before anything else.

Committing to it means I will strive to move forward a little bit every day, even if on some days it's one percent and on others it's ten percent.

It means I won't speculate about the infinite possibilities of a nebulous future, but will focus on what I can do now and figure out what my next tiny baby step will be.

It means allowing myself to have days of sadness, doubt, and defeat, allowing myself to cry and want to quit everything, and the next day going back to work as if nothing happened.

It means accepting and welcoming my emotions, but not letting them dictate my actions.

It means keeping my word to myself and staying true to a path for years.


A few last remarks

1- The biggest risk of all in life is to take no risk at all.

2- You don't need to quit your job to start and build a business from scratch, but you do need to prioritize your business before anything else and make sure you take action to develop it every day.

3- When you're in a comfortable situation, it's up to you to create your own discomfort. It's up to you to remind yourself daily of all the unkept promises you've made to yourself.

5- You have to be careful not to let your emotions, routine, and challenges take you off your path.

6- You don't need to complicate anything. You just need to dip your toes in the water and take that first step. And then another. And the next one. For years.

One last passage of text from the same entrepreneur mentioned on that first topic:

"Let me tell you about my criteria for giving up... I only give up when it stops making sense in the long run. I don't quit because it's difficult. I don't quit because I find the task boring. I don't give up because I'm tired. And I don't give up because I failed the first, second, third, tenth time.

I only give up when it stops making sense in my long-term vision. As long as this condition is met, the message I give myself after each failure will always be the same: 'Again!’”


I hope this has helped you in some way. Best of luck!

I love that Taking Picture Idea! Also the Concept that you Stay in Control... by not committing to anything ...is just Brilliant!!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[BlokeInProgress]

Where to pluck ideas for a business?

As Someone in a Similar situation to yours... due to various Situations valid excuses... but still excuses) recently re-reading The Millionaire Fastlane as lit a Fire under me a bit!

Similarly to me... you seem to have an issue with consistently executing... to be a do-er! And when doing... got reminded from an old MJ Video to stop pushing... and to start pulling!

Thanks. Yeah, its humbling to accept and to be honest about the things that we do that's stopping us to achieve our best lives. But, like you said, we should start pulling.

That's great that you're starting to re-read the book again, same here I'm start the Great Rat Race escape . Giving myself 1 week for this as part of my goals. I'll check in on you again on your progress.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Do you realize you’ve been posting here saying you’ll show us your progress with your business since 2022? We’re in February 2024, and your last post was still saying the same thing.

Hi @Lygia , appreciate the post that you did and truth behind it. I definitely acknowledge that re-posting on my thread since 2022 is a risk as I open myself to criticism. If that's what it takes to get me back to focusing on what my goals and dreams are, hey, I'm open to it. This also serves as my reminder, how much time and effort I've probably wasted and ended back to step 1.

fear of risk and the unknown, lack of discipline, overthinking, and fear of commitment

Reading one of the timely and good breakdown of the symptoms did verify that my #1 issue is my lack of discipline. Like Blu H, I like the idea of taking photos or documenting stuff everyday so at the end of the week or month we can re-evaluate, adjust and change direction if necessary.

3- When you're in a comfortable situation, it's up to you to create your own discomfort. It's up to you to remind yourself daily of all the unkept promises you've made to yourself.

5- You have to be careful not to let your emotions, routine, and challenges take you off your path.

6- You don't need to complicate anything. You just need to dip your toes in the water and take that first step. And then another. And the next one. For years.

These are the one's that really sticked to me moving forward. Progress doesn't need to be fast but it needs everyday consistent effort to keep the fire burning. Thank you again for such a great post.