The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

INTRO Moved from No-lane to another Slowlane - 8 months later (Re-Intro)

LiveFire

Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 17, 2017
52
59
125
Knoxville, TN Area
What I am about to say will be tough for me to say, but I have to be honest of where I am at.

Last June, I ended up going through a layoff situation with the company I had given 20 years of my life to. This wasn't the first time, having gone through a previous layoff situation roughly 3 years before. I was crushed. The first layoff caused nearly a year of unemployment, 401K and what little pension I had was fully wiped out. I returned back to the the same company that laid me off before, as it seemed like everything fell back into place, but after 2 1/2 years, I was notified once more along with other colleagues.

With a wife and 2 kids to think about and no backup resources from being wiped the first time through, I spent days staring at the walls. I was looking at the prospect of poverty this time. I was in paralysis. I was in a state of fear. I sent out over a 100 resumes, to get 10 hits and an eventual 5 interviews to 2 real job offers. I had to roll the dice with the broken employment system. Something came through, but less than I wanted, but it was better than Zero ($0).

I put some feelers out around other states and had something that peeked my interest and re-instate the income I wanted. I interviewed and re-located myself to an apartment in 2 weeks to start the new job and company. It seemed so promising, a family friendly environment, no policy of layoffs, profitable company. What could be so wrong with the job? New place, maybe new opportunities. Sold the house. My family followed soon through Christmas break just a few months ago. We are all together. Took some losses financially, but felt worth it.

8 months into the job and everything changed from what I was told during the interview. You can smell the fear in others I am surrounded by, hoping they too don't end up an as example like others before them, hoping they don't make a mistake to be fired or forced into resignation - new boss and new culture - old guard is out. I realized that I moved my family for a job that is now not working out. My wife had to get a new job, my kids to new schools. All for what? To just be set up to get disappointing news again? To stare at walls again, to think about poverty? So here I am, moved my family, left relatives behind in another state, took on additional costs, living in an apt instead of a home, and wonder if the day is going to be day, everyday with a knot in my stomach. Here my family is trusting me, looking for security, stability, prosperity and I can't give it to them because I don't control any of it. I control NONE of it.

The net of it is this - I made the mistake again... I chose a Slowlane life AGAIN. Just like someone hooked on dope, wanting to take another hit. I caught myself saying, "Why can't I just find a good company to work for? I have done good to others, but seem to get done dirty in the end". "Why can't I just find a company I can go in, do my job, leave, spend time with my family, rinse and repeat and do this for another 15 years, what is so wrong with that?"

What is wrong with this thinking? It won't be long, just in 10 to 15 years, no company will want to hire me, no matter the skillsets or experience - I will be old and used. I will live each day wondering if today is the day. I can't live like this. I can't have my kids see me live like this. I can't have them embrace this way of life for themselves one day. This has to stop, it has to be broken.

In a few months, I lose a benefit of getting reimbursed for education as long as I provide a certificate of completion. The best of me keeps saying to learn about Real Estate and get licensed, and begin to learn something else that could benefit later. I keep thinking of maybe it will help me learn to invest in Real Estate later, learn the industry, learn business law, just learn period.

I have to start now and begin building something for myself, and let it grow and build in the next 10 years so that it will sustain me as opposed to putting my hope into a company to do that for me.

I had to do a lot of soul searching over the weekend (and I mean A LOT). I had to be honest with myself and to someone else. For the first time, I opened up to a friend who happens to be a financial/wealth manager about where I am financially. It was the the first time I told anyone out of 20 years. I never went to a financial planner in my early 20s because I was embarrassed then when I carried just around $25K of debt. I told myself, "When I pay this off, I will go see one". I wanted to look like I was smart and had it together. Today, those debts are higher to which are now being paid off. I have been a fool. I played a game that has caused me to lose. I can't afford to lose anymore. There is hope, but just a small window of hope.

I spent 8 months away from this forum. What could I have learned over the course of 8 months from this forum and others? The transition was hard, being away from family until weekend was hard, and starting a new job was tough and demanding. In the end, I lost ground. I pulled out Unscripted to see that I left off at Chapter 27 , only to begin resuming it this past weekend. I have to get off of this SCRIPT.

In my early 40s and for what I am about to say is hard, but it is truth, I need help. I need your help. I won't make the leap without partnerships. I won't make the leap without coaching and mentoring. I won't make the transformation unless I embrace a Fastlane mindset. I have done this on my own too long and I can't do it alone any longer. I feel broken.

I apologize to the Fastlane Community for being away for so long that has stunted my growth and for not doing my part. @Andy Black had many starter links in his footer that I didn't finish working through when I joined last June. I need to go through his starter threads fully. I can see that I am going to need a FastLane accountability partner, hopefully I can find one in due time. I must establish a Fastlane plan based on the Fastlane framework to give an upperhand toward success. A Roadmap starts with a Vision. I have to define that Vision. I looked at my profile marked as a "Fastlane Student". I have been nothing but a student of failure. I must be diligent and make this fundamental transformation to be a true "Fastlane Student" once and for all.

Thanks for listening and your support.

LiveFire
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

Andy Black

Any colour, as long as it's red.
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
May 20, 2014
8,435
35,743
4,306
Ireland
Fair play for opening up and sharing.

Sounds like you’ve reached an FTM?

Breathe...

Realise that nothing’s so bad it couldn’t be worse. Be grateful for what you’ve got. Be grateful for your family.

Sure, go through the bolded links in my signature again. Learn enough to get into your head that this isn’t an exercise in learning though.

Our first scripted response when we’re in a hole seems to be the urge to spend time and money trying to learn our way out of it.

Please don’t sign up for expensive courses.

Don’t think it has to take 10 years to become unscripted either.

For most of us it makes sense to get quick wins. Given how you seem to be feeling currently then I think it’s even more important you get a quick win.

What can you do to get an additional $100 off your own back this week?

I’m not suggesting you follow in my footsteps and do local lead gen when I suggest you listen to this call with @Contrarian:

I AM suggesting it’s likely a lot easier to get going than you currently think.

I AM suggesting that the biggest obstacle in your way is likely you believing that making your first $100 is harder than it actually is.

Curious what you get from that call. Let us know.

Good luck @LiveFire
 

WaterWerks

Contributor
Mar 25, 2018
33
49
99
31
NYC
thats deep man, sometimes i feel the same. often i should say. its hard, i could imagine for you its 1000 times harder since you have the kids and etc.
we all wish for that break, that chance, that "i cant wait for it to be my time".
we also hate that "why cant things go well for me", another disappointment, another failed attempt.
often we blame ourselves much more than we should. but at the end of the day, not giving up goes a long way. take the negatives and try to make a positive out of it, even if its a small step forward it might not change a whole lot but within time those small steps will be beneficial.

don't let it break you.

might not be today or tmrw or next week, but one day you'll look back and it'll all make sense.

good luck to you sir.
 

Stargazer

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Mar 8, 2018
170
336
176
47
England
I know this is a Forum and you can't see us and we can't see you but it takes a certain amount of courage to essentially say to strangers that you are failing your family.

That must be gut wrenching to write. More so than a singleton writing that they are failing themselves and need to change.

So the good news is that you have Courage with a capital C!

That makes it a lot easier for the many skilled and experienced people on this Forum to therefore encourage you which is simply enhancing courage.

So read @Andy Black links, take what makes sense and figure out can you apply to any small businesses near you. Yes you can is the answer. (If you read too many peoples threads you will never get anywhere and you brought up his name. So him for Adwords or @Fox for websites or @SinisterLex for Copywriting. You get the idea. Focus.)

Then throw up an Execution thread where people can chip in and help you hone things.

Good Luck

Dan
 
OP
OP
LiveFire

LiveFire

Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 17, 2017
52
59
125
Knoxville, TN Area
I wasn't fired in my previous job, but went through a layoff with the company. Full department closures with the rest of my colleagues. It wasn't related to skills, performance, or results - only due to the fact the organization lost contracts because of bad Exec decisions.

Why did they fire you?
 

Patrickg

Bronze Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Nov 20, 2016
96
108
130
Thanks for sharing!

It sure sounds like your on the right track. Just had a hiccup.

All too often in our entrepreneurial circles we beat ourselves up about jobs. But you should be grateful. Your providing for three mouths. Four technically. Look at this is a blessing helping you get to the end state of unscripted. Get stabilized and start making daily action to your goals.

Regardless, whatever you do don't beat your self up. You need some small wins man, get your confidence back up. What worked for me was to sell some things out side of work. I.E. flip a car for cash, do some arbitrage, sell your service to someone.

And yes this isn't fast lane business models. However, in my humble opinion you need to just see you can make some extra cash on the side. And allow that seed of thought to grow, because once you see that you should recognize it's possible to become way bigger if you leverage the CENTS framework.
 

GoGetter24

Gold Contributor
Speedway Pass
Oct 8, 2017
571
1,103
365
Various
Ok, but why do you keep getting laid off? Is it because you're choosing the wrong company? Or the market they're in is contracting?
 

Iammelissamoore

Silver Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Sep 23, 2014
357
810
317
Trinidad and Tobago
Oh hey welcome to the forum.

You have indeed opened up a lot and I believe this is the beginning of your willpower to push on in your greatness.

You are blaming yourself for a lot of things - some of which were inflicted upon you based on the script life throws at us. I understand you being disappointed in a lot, but, you are additionally being exceptionally hard on yourself. The good thig about it is that in experiencing your FTM, you are seeing the necessity to make changes.

My mother always says "nothing happens before its time", but more so, we choose the time to make it happen, because our actions determine our outcomes. One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt, and continue to learn in life is that no matter how far off we have fallen, it is ALWAYS possible to get back on our paths and make great progress, it all depends on how much we really want to make it happen, and from your story, I know you are certainly ready.

One of the hardest things sometimes is to ask for help, because we believe it is a sign of weakness. Requesting help is just an opportunity for us to get back on track a bit faster and more effectively to whichever goals/new habits we have ahead of us. Requesting help is one of the first signs of strength, it means that we are ready to embrace the challenges to grow and get ahead.

Welcome back on the team, this forum is by all means genuine in helping us all get ahead, as that is the wish we have for each other. I wish you and your family all the best in all your endeavours.
 

Kennypaul

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Mar 19, 2018
132
208
161
21
Nigeria
What I am about to say will be tough for me to say, but I have to be honest of where I am at.

Last June, I ended up going through a layoff situation with the company I had given 20 years of my life to. This wasn't the first time, having gone through a previous layoff situation roughly 3 years before. I was crushed. The first layoff caused nearly a year of unemployment, 401K and what little pension I had was fully wiped out. I returned back to the the same company that laid me off before, as it seemed like everything fell back into place, but after 2 1/2 years, I was notified once more along with other colleagues.

With a wife and 2 kids to think about and no backup resources from being wiped the first time through, I spent days staring at the walls. I was looking at the prospect of poverty this time. I was in paralysis. I was in a state of fear. I sent out over a 100 resumes, to get 10 hits and an eventual 5 interviews to 2 real job offers. I had to roll the dice with the broken employment system. Something came through, but less than I wanted, but it was better than Zero ($0).

I put some feelers out around other states and had something that peeked my interest and re-instate the income I wanted. I interviewed and re-located myself to an apartment in 2 weeks to start the new job and company. It seemed so promising, a family friendly environment, no policy of layoffs, profitable company. What could be so wrong with the job? New place, maybe new opportunities. Sold the house. My family followed soon through Christmas break just a few months ago. We are all together. Took some losses financially, but felt worth it.

8 months into the job and everything changed from what I was told during the interview. You can smell the fear in others I am surrounded by, hoping they too don't end up an as example like others before them, hoping they don't make a mistake to be fired or forced into resignation - new boss and new culture - old guard is out. I realized that I moved my family for a job that is now not working out. My wife had to get a new job, my kids to new schools. All for what? To just be set up to get disappointing news again? To stare at walls again, to think about poverty? So here I am, moved my family, left relatives behind in another state, took on additional costs, living in an apt instead of a home, and wonder if the day is going to be day, everyday with a knot in my stomach. Here my family is trusting me, looking for security, stability, prosperity and I can't give it to them because I don't control any of it. I control NONE of it.

The net of it is this - I made the mistake again... I chose a Slowlane life AGAIN. Just like someone hooked on dope, wanting to take another hit. I caught myself saying, "Why can't I just find a good company to work for? I have done good to others, but seem to get done dirty in the end". "Why can't I just find a company I can go in, do my job, leave, spend time with my family, rinse and repeat and do this for another 15 years, what is so wrong with that?"

What is wrong with this thinking? It won't be long, just in 10 to 15 years, no company will want to hire me, no matter the skillsets or experience - I will be old and used. I will live each day wondering if today is the day. I can't live like this. I can't have my kids see me live like this. I can't have them embrace this way of life for themselves one day. This has to stop, it has to be broken.

In a few months, I lose a benefit of getting reimbursed for education as long as I provide a certificate of completion. The best of me keeps saying to learn about Real Estate and get licensed, and begin to learn something else that could benefit later. I keep thinking of maybe it will help me learn to invest in Real Estate later, learn the industry, learn business law, just learn period.

I have to start now and begin building something for myself, and let it grow and build in the next 10 years so that it will sustain me as opposed to putting my hope into a company to do that for me.

I had to do a lot of soul searching over the weekend (and I mean A LOT). I had to be honest with myself and to someone else. For the first time, I opened up to a friend who happens to be a financial/wealth manager about where I am financially. It was the the first time I told anyone out of 20 years. I never went to a financial planner in my early 20s because I was embarrassed then when I carried just around $25K of debt. I told myself, "When I pay this off, I will go see one". I wanted to look like I was smart and had it together. Today, those debts are higher to which are now being paid off. I have been a fool. I played a game that has caused me to lose. I can't afford to lose anymore. There is hope, but just a small window of hope.

I spent 8 months away from this forum. What could I have learned over the course of 8 months from this forum and others? The transition was hard, being away from family until weekend was hard, and starting a new job was tough and demanding. In the end, I lost ground. I pulled out Unscripted to see that I left off at Chapter 27 , only to begin resuming it this past weekend. I have to get off of this SCRIPT.

In my early 40s and for what I am about to say is hard, but it is truth, I need help. I need your help. I won't make the leap without partnerships. I won't make the leap without coaching and mentoring. I won't make the transformation unless I embrace a Fastlane mindset. I have done this on my own too long and I can't do it alone any longer. I feel broken.

I apologize to the Fastlane Community for being away for so long that has stunted my growth and for not doing my part. @Andy Black had many starter links in his footer that I didn't finish working through when I joined last June. I need to go through his starter threads fully. I can see that I am going to need a FastLane accountability partner, hopefully I can find one in due time. I must establish a Fastlane plan based on the Fastlane framework to give an upperhand toward success. A Roadmap starts with a Vision. I have to define that Vision. I looked at my profile marked as a "Fastlane Student". I have been nothing but a student of failure. I must be diligent and make this fundamental transformation to be a true "Fastlane Student" once and for all.

Thanks for listening and your support.

LiveFire
That's really honest of you.The truth is we've(mostly) been in really bad situations because of the actions we made in the past that were not beneficial to our future(including me),but as far as we are alive and still breathing,I believe we can all make a change.Welcome back to the forum.
 
OP
OP
LiveFire

LiveFire

Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 17, 2017
52
59
125
Knoxville, TN Area
I have been laid off 2 times from the same company. You would have thought I would have learned the first time around. It is just what they do - a global company, 400K employees worldwide, everyone is just a number at the end of the day. When bean counters run the company, look out.

Ok, but why do you keep getting laid off? Is it because you're choosing the wrong company? Or the market they're in is contracting?
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

ZCP

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 22, 2010
2,501
8,233
1,966
Woodstock, GA
So what are you doing to change the equation?
 
OP
OP
LiveFire

LiveFire

Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 17, 2017
52
59
125
Knoxville, TN Area
So what are you doing to change the equation?
A few initial steps to change are:

0) ** This one is the biggest change that I did. I wrestled for a while with this, but I eventually opened up to my wife, and invited her to read what I posted. I need the support of my family. She is accepting and supportive, and told me to go forward. It felt like a Rocky moment when Adrian told Rocky to go, "Win".

1) Not to return back to the previous company I had worked for. Can you believe that early last week I contacted a former colleague with some position of influence to see about bringing me back in? I don't need a 3rd time.
2) Yesterday 3/26, I wrote on a full piece of paper of one line statements to construct a Life Vision Statement. What do I want and what I do not want, what is the end result I want to be (or be at). I will continue that exercise today to generate my Life Vision Statement. This will begin to support a Roadmap. If my activities do not support or lead to enabling the reality of that Life Vision Statement, I don't need to do it.
3) I am actively having discussions around my personal insurance policies. I want to begin owning policies that are earning value and will follow me no matter where I go or do. I want to put policies in place for my children while they are young. Company policies are only as good as I am employed. Furthermore, I haven't looked at my Term Policy 20 Year until yesterday. I want to see if I convert or write up a new (to see which is less) to a whole life policy.
4) I am trying to build Fastlane relationships here and in the local area. I found 1 person so far in the city to which I am located.
5) I am contacting a Real Estate School to begin a 60 hour (2 week night class) for Pre-Licensing. If they have availability, I am going to start April 2, 2018. I know nothing about Real Estate and thought this would be a good way for me to begin. I want to do a instructor led classroom setting as opposed to online. I want to hear lessons learned and make new contacts and relationships.
6) I am in the process of building my team to have financial discussions around. 1) Financial Planner 2) CPA (that is is in the works) and 3) Lawyer(s) - I may need a few depending on what I am doing.
7) I am reaching out to get involved into church small groups to build new relationships since I am still new to the area.
8) I started gathering information for the city's Entrepreneur Group/Network to begin attending those and learn more about business ideas and concepts.
9) I will be attending my first professional chapter associated with my current profession as a means to network, and determine if I can find a few like-minded people in the midst as I build upon these relationships. The reality is I need to maintain what I have as I make the conversion over.
10) I have much of the Fastlane materials and threads to go over. I am working on a process to allow me to take that information in, document and learn from it. I am also working on how to manage my time here to be consistent.

I am placing a heavier emphasis to building relationships. I have always said, "I am a Loner". At work, I am a great team collaborator and integrator. In my personal life, I showed no initiative really other than among a few close people. Doing things on my own personally did not get me anywhere, just in a hole. I have to become a "Connector" in Life in all aspects, not just one.

Thank you.
LF
 
Last edited:

ZCP

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 22, 2010
2,501
8,233
1,966
Woodstock, GA
Sounds like good steps. Could also be a lot of action faking.

Challenge to you: find the 'hustle' threads in this forum. Then turn $100 into $200 as if your life depended on it.

Let's get basic family needs met before vision statements and hours of training for new careers.

Get the whole family involved. It will take the whole team to get where you are going.
 
OP
OP
LiveFire

LiveFire

Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 17, 2017
52
59
125
Knoxville, TN Area
Hi ZCP,

I know what you are saying. This week is laying some ground work and have to get going. I will certainly check out the hustle threads. Also the Real Estate school just confirmed me. Not necessarily looking to become an Agent but want to learn the foundation to establish how I could get into investing with it.

Sounds like good steps. Could also be a lot of action faking.

Challenge to you: find the 'hustle' threads in this forum. Then turn $100 into $200 as if your life depended on it.

Let's get basic family needs met before vision statements and hours of training for new careers.

Get the whole family involved. It will take the whole team to get where you are going.
 

Action Mike

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Nov 9, 2016
56
66
121
40
Sometimes coming to the realization of the situation you are in is the biggest step in making changes. Don't beat your self up, learn and move on to bigger and better things, always keep a positive outlook no matter what.

IMO, if you don't really plan on being a RE Agent I would focus on self learning, from people I have talked to the classes focused on becoming a agent don't really do a whole lot to benefit you as a RE Investor, having a license could be of benefit but if that is not your focus I would work on just doing something in RE first.
If you think that you would like to be an agent then go for it and get licensed. If you hustle you can start making money, they say most REA don't make a full time job out of it, but I say most agents don't put the time and hustle into it to make it work, like anything in life weather its building a business or being a REA you have hunker down and really hit it to make anything out of it, I would suggest reading 10X by Grant Cardone.

If you are interested in getting into RE Investing or business like rehabbing houses I would suggest reading these books first...

@JScott is a member on the forum and wrote "The Book on Flipping Houses" and is a great book for that area of RE.

Gary Keller wrote several good books on RE and RE Investing.
The Millionaire Real Estate Investor, this is a good intro to several different aspects of RE and REI.
Flip, another good book on rehabbing and selling houses.
Hold, a good book focused on the rental aspect of REI.
The One Thing, not RE related but a great book for anyone that has a business, he talks about the benefit on focusing on one major thing at a time, don't get caught up in half assing 3 or 4 things, find one thing that interests you and focus on it.
The Millionaire Real Estate Agent, I have not read this but based on his other books this is most likely very good for being a REA.

The Bigger Pockets forum and Pod Casts can be a great way to learn about RE and REI also. Look though the Pod cast page to find what interests you and listen.

Its good to constantly learn as you go but ultimately its easy to get caught in a learning frenzy and not take action so don't let that happen, figure out what sounds like a good path for you to take weather its RE, eCommerce, starting a contracting business etc. with your current skill set and devote your time and attention to that thing. Books are a great way to learn and you can knock one out in a long evening of focused reading, in less than a month you could easily read or listen to all of the books mentioned above.
 

Tammyanne

Contributor
Jun 18, 2017
56
21
25
San Diego, CA
What I am about to say will be tough for me to say, but I have to be honest of where I am at.

Last June, I ended up going through a layoff situation with the company I had given 20 years of my life to. This wasn't the first time, having gone through a previous layoff situation roughly 3 years before. I was crushed. The first layoff caused nearly a year of unemployment, 401K and what little pension I had was fully wiped out. I returned back to the the same company that laid me off before, as it seemed like everything fell back into place, but after 2 1/2 years, I was notified once more along with other colleagues.

With a wife and 2 kids to think about and no backup resources from being wiped the first time through, I spent days staring at the walls. I was looking at the prospect of poverty this time. I was in paralysis. I was in a state of fear. I sent out over a 100 resumes, to get 10 hits and an eventual 5 interviews to 2 real job offers. I had to roll the dice with the broken employment system. Something came through, but less than I wanted, but it was better than Zero ($0).

I put some feelers out around other states and had something that peeked my interest and re-instate the income I wanted. I interviewed and re-located myself to an apartment in 2 weeks to start the new job and company. It seemed so promising, a family friendly environment, no policy of layoffs, profitable company. What could be so wrong with the job? New place, maybe new opportunities. Sold the house. My family followed soon through Christmas break just a few months ago. We are all together. Took some losses financially, but felt worth it.

8 months into the job and everything changed from what I was told during the interview. You can smell the fear in others I am surrounded by, hoping they too don't end up an as example like others before them, hoping they don't make a mistake to be fired or forced into resignation - new boss and new culture - old guard is out. I realized that I moved my family for a job that is now not working out. My wife had to get a new job, my kids to new schools. All for what? To just be set up to get disappointing news again? To stare at walls again, to think about poverty? So here I am, moved my family, left relatives behind in another state, took on additional costs, living in an apt instead of a home, and wonder if the day is going to be day, everyday with a knot in my stomach. Here my family is trusting me, looking for security, stability, prosperity and I can't give it to them because I don't control any of it. I control NONE of it.

The net of it is this - I made the mistake again... I chose a Slowlane life AGAIN. Just like someone hooked on dope, wanting to take another hit. I caught myself saying, "Why can't I just find a good company to work for? I have done good to others, but seem to get done dirty in the end". "Why can't I just find a company I can go in, do my job, leave, spend time with my family, rinse and repeat and do this for another 15 years, what is so wrong with that?"

What is wrong with this thinking? It won't be long, just in 10 to 15 years, no company will want to hire me, no matter the skillsets or experience - I will be old and used. I will live each day wondering if today is the day. I can't live like this. I can't have my kids see me live like this. I can't have them embrace this way of life for themselves one day. This has to stop, it has to be broken.

In a few months, I lose a benefit of getting reimbursed for education as long as I provide a certificate of completion. The best of me keeps saying to learn about Real Estate and get licensed, and begin to learn something else that could benefit later. I keep thinking of maybe it will help me learn to invest in Real Estate later, learn the industry, learn business law, just learn period.

I have to start now and begin building something for myself, and let it grow and build in the next 10 years so that it will sustain me as opposed to putting my hope into a company to do that for me.

I had to do a lot of soul searching over the weekend (and I mean A LOT). I had to be honest with myself and to someone else. For the first time, I opened up to a friend who happens to be a financial/wealth manager about where I am financially. It was the the first time I told anyone out of 20 years. I never went to a financial planner in my early 20s because I was embarrassed then when I carried just around $25K of debt. I told myself, "When I pay this off, I will go see one". I wanted to look like I was smart and had it together. Today, those debts are higher to which are now being paid off. I have been a fool. I played a game that has caused me to lose. I can't afford to lose anymore. There is hope, but just a small window of hope.

I spent 8 months away from this forum. What could I have learned over the course of 8 months from this forum and others? The transition was hard, being away from family until weekend was hard, and starting a new job was tough and demanding. In the end, I lost ground. I pulled out Unscripted to see that I left off at Chapter 27 , only to begin resuming it this past weekend. I have to get off of this SCRIPT.

In my early 40s and for what I am about to say is hard, but it is truth, I need help. I need your help. I won't make the leap without partnerships. I won't make the leap without coaching and mentoring. I won't make the transformation unless I embrace a Fastlane mindset. I have done this on my own too long and I can't do it alone any longer. I feel broken.

I apologize to the Fastlane Community for being away for so long that has stunted my growth and for not doing my part. @Andy Black had many starter links in his footer that I didn't finish working through when I joined last June. I need to go through his starter threads fully. I can see that I am going to need a FastLane accountability partner, hopefully I can find one in due time. I must establish a Fastlane plan based on the Fastlane framework to give an upperhand toward success. A Roadmap starts with a Vision. I have to define that Vision. I looked at my profile marked as a "Fastlane Student". I have been nothing but a student of failure. I must be diligent and make this fundamental transformation to be a true "Fastlane Student" once and for all.

Thanks for listening and your support.

LiveFire
Thanks for sharing...
 

Late Bloomer

Gold Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Apr 17, 2018
952
1,305
362
Hi LiveFire,

I can absolutely relate to what you've been through.

Statistics show that within the next few years, fully half the American workforce will be "contingent." Part-time, freelance, contractors, doing gigs, temporary, short-term projects through agencies.

The trend is clear that larger companies are trying to keep the absolute minimal core management team in place as the trunk, while all the branches and leaves are grafted on each spring in a way that lets them instantly be discarded when winter comes.

We can say how unfair it is that we were brainwashed to expect stability from a system that doesn't offer us stability. Or, we can learn how to be in constant marketing mode, to get a stream of clients and projects where it's clear we will never hang around long enough to be any kind of a political player.

This is the transition I'm also working on in my 40's. I emphasize working on as I haven't yet succeeded. Perhaps as I share my thoughts and experiences here, that will be helpful for you too.

I'd love to see your Life Vision document, or as many bullet points from it as you'd feel comfortable sharing here.
 

404profound

Platinum Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Aug 27, 2017
1,318
2,686
662
Desert of Desertion
Man, first off I will echo others and say I respect your openness. That is a grueling phase you're in. Though I have not experienced adversity of this magnitude in my life, I have felt similar feelings of being "trapped" or "clueless". It is scary and frustrating. I've recognized that during those times, there are a few key questions that can help us refocus. Here are a few I lean on:

1) What do I know, and where is it useful?

This one is intentionally vague, because the answer should not come from your resume. The answer should encompass more than your career. What has being a father taught you? What has being a husband taught you? What about the other roles you've played in life? That knowledge is not insignificant, because it can help inform the next problem you're going to solve (and make no mistake, your key to freedom will be to solve a problem better than it's currently being solved). If you look at this through rose colored lenses (I can envision the eyeroll you just gave me), you have a lot of professional AND personal experience that yields a utopia of applied knowledge. Your job now is to go problem hunting and determine where that knowledge can solve a problem. I am a masters in psychology, a consultant, and enjoy writing. I used that combination of knowledge to delve into copywriting, and made my first $350.00 sale two months ago. I don't know if I'll continue that business because it doesn't scale well, but it just goes to show that you can create value when you think strategically. Organizations strip us of our strategic thinking, above all else, so we need to relight the pilot light on the strategic mind elsewhere.

2) If I could reengineer my life, what would I draw up?

Another pretty open-ended question. This is your end game, and the elements of life that you will commit to achieving. These elements will confirm that the effort you invest in your business is worth the suck, because of the prospect of sweet victory. If we can't define victory beforehand, what are we actually aspiring to?

3) What is certainly unacceptable for me?

Just because you're in a rough spot, you have a right to determine what you will and will not tolerate in business and in life. I still struggle with this myself, but the fact is, it's critical to understand this. Taking bad deals is what gets us in trouble in the first place. I took a bad deal when I decided to pursue consulting, because now I am working 12 hour days and am under immense pressure. Going forward, this experience has educated me on what terms I will next tolerate in whatever I do next.

I could continue, but all of this at once may be overbearing. So I urge you to sit on the above and give it some thought. Particularly that first one, since everyone on this forum is aspiring to be a perennial problem solver above all else.

"When you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
- Cheers
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.




Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe to become an INSIDER.

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Monthly conference calls with doers
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top Bottom