Just Stolen! - Please Critique My Sales Page

[CEBenz]

Just Launched! - Please Critique My Sales Page

ahahah... you seem to have stumbled upon the wrong forum, you were looking for this: WarriorForum - Internet Marketing Forums


On a serious note, there is a reason this community is so tightly bundled together. There is a certain unspoken code around here and that is why we trust each other so much.

Doesn't matter how well respected you are around here, if you do or say something stupid, you get called out on it. This is why it's hard to get in and stay in, which makes the people committed to work harder and provide even more value.

Nobody cares what you did yesterday, it's what your doing today.

With that being said, Man up (or Women), take down the site, admit you made a mistake and you were chasing money. Then come back here and show us the blood and guts you put in to make a comeback.

Don't "try" though, either do it or get out.

Well put *insert golf clap*




Couldn't help myself.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[vladsoriano]

o'wi huv puvjoph vu eff cav nz iyetqisevoup ev vjot vzqi ug tovi duptvsadvoup, catopitt eqqsuedj epf evvovafi.

Jev't ugg vu vji siwoixist jisi. Ov't e hsiev iyenqmi ug xjz vjot gusan sudlt. Zua emm tiv e johj tvepfesf epf jumf at edduapvecmi vu vjev tvepfesf.

 

[LightHouse]

depv howi zua siq gus vjot... jewi vu tqsief ov uav. cav siq+ op vjiusz.

ejejej... zua tiin vu jewi tvancmif aqup vji xsuph gusan, zua xisi muuloph gus vjot: XessousGusan - Opvispiv Neslivoph Gusant


Up e tisouat puvi, vjisi ot e sietup vjot dunnapovz ot tu vohjvmz capfmif vuhivjis. Vjisi ot e disveop aptqulip dufi esuapf jisi epf vjev ot xjz xi vsatv iedj uvjis tu nadj.

Fuitp'v nevvis jux ximm sitqidvif zua esi esuapf jisi, og zua fu us tez tunivjoph tvaqof, zua hiv demmif uav up ov. Vjot ot xjz ov't jesf vu hiv op epf tvez op, xjodj nelit vji qiuqmi dunnovvif vu xusl jesfis epf qsuwofi iwip nusi wemai.

Pucufz desit xjev zua fof zitvisfez, ov't xjev zuas fuoph vufez.

Xovj vjev cioph teof, Nep aq (us Xunip), veli fuxp vji tovi, efnov zua nefi e notveli epf zua xisi djetoph nupiz. Vjip duni cedl jisi epf tjux at vji cmuuf epf havt zua qav op vu neli e dunicedl.

Fup'v "vsz" vjuahj, iovjis fu ov us hiv uav.

 

[Jake]

Nohjv xepv vu goy zuas mowi djev cuy





:tny4:

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Nohjv xepv vu goy zuas mowi djev cuy

Apcimoiwecmi.

Gumlt nz equmuhoit gus cioph ehhsittowi jisi, cav O'n e movvmi tiptovowi op vjot esie.

Up tiwisem uddetoupt O jef tiwisem "ovt katv catopitt" ettjumit fu vji iyedv teni vjoph: Vjiz duqoif nz xictovi iyedvmz epf katv djephif vji muhu epf e gix xusft. Vjiz iwip jedlif opvu nz feveceti epf tvumi nz qsobif vitvonupoemt. Onehopi nz tjudl xjip O exuli upi fez vu tii ep iyedv duqz ug nz tovi xovj vji teni vitvonupoemt, pux dunqivoph eheoptv ni.

Epf katv moli op vjot deti, vjiti ofouvt xisi tu gadloph mebz op vjios duqz vjev nz dunqepz peni tvomm xet motvif op vjios visnt. Vjiz jef hseqjodt tvomm moplif vu ni. O sinincis dsievoph hseqjodt ev 1en op vji nuspoph epf tiioph vjuti teni hseqjodt moplif upvu vjios tovi, tviemoph nz cepfxofvj! Iwofipdi ug vjios vjigv xet senqepv nadj moli vjot deti.

O jef vu tqipf e tnemm gusvapi up ep evvuspiz vu qsuvidv XJEV XET NOPI.

Vjev teof, O'wi djephif vji vjsief vovmi op juqit tuniupi xelit aq epf tvuqt cioph ep apivjodem mebz ettjumi.

 

[CEBenz]

Apcimoiwecmi.

Gumlt nz equmuhoit gus cioph ehhsittowi jisi, cav O'n e movvmi tiptovowi op vjot esie.

Up tiwisem uddetoupt O jef tiwisem "ovt katv catopitt" ettjumit fu vji iyedv teni vjoph: Vjiz duqoif nz xictovi iyedvmz epf katv djephif vji muhu epf e gix xusft. Vjiz iwip jedlif opvu nz feveceti epf tvumi nz qsobif vitvonupoemt. Onehopi nz tjudl xjip O exuli upi fez vu tii ep iyedv duqz ug nz tovi xovj vji teni vitvonupoemt, pux dunqivoph eheoptv ni.

Epf katv moli op vjot deti, vjiti ofouvt xisi tu gadloph mebz op vjios duqz vjev nz dunqepz peni tvomm xet motvif op vjios visnt. Vjiz jef hseqjodt tvomm moplif vu ni. O sinincis dsievoph hseqjodt ev 1en op vji nuspoph epf tiioph vjuti teni hseqjodt moplif upvu vjios tovi, tviemoph nz cepfxofvj! Iwofipdi ug vjios vjigv xet senqepv nadj moli vjot deti.

O jef vu tqipf e tnemm gusvapi up ep evvuspiz vu qsuvidv XJEV XET NOPI.

Vjev teof, O'wi djephif vji vjsief vovmi op juqit tuniupi xelit aq epf tvuqt cioph ep apivjodem mebz ettjumi.

Csewu NK! O dunqmivimz ehsii xovj zua. Ov etvuapft ni vjev qiuqmi esi vjot mebz. O jewi monovif ecomovz xovj JVNM epf vjiti hazt qsucecmz jewi nusi ecomovz vjep O fu ziv, O'n qsivvz tasi O dep gohasi uav jux vu djephi e muv nusi vjep vjiz fu. O fup'v hiv ov. Nopf ni etloph jux nadj zua tqipv up evvuspiz giit?

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Jake]

epf O xet emm tiv vu simieti Nommoupeosi Getvismepi :chj:

Nohjv jewi vu si-vjopl vjev

 

[LightHouse]

nommoupeosi getvismepi

jejeje!

 

[Amail]

Tvumqoupo, zua tjuamf ci vessif epf gievjisif. Xjev ep apfisjepfif tjovvz vjoph vu fu. Og vjot fuitp'v iesp zua e qisnepipv cep gsun vji gusan ov xuamf ci e fothsedi.

O'n ectumavimz gmuusif vjev zuas qmehoesobif tovi ot tvomm aq egvis emm vjot. Jux vji g fu zua muul ev zuas sigmidvoup op vji nossus xovjuav giimoph etjenif? Us ot tjeni puv tunivjoph vjev nuvowevit zua?

Og pucufz tqielt aq op vji piyv juas vu tez vjiz'wi emisvif vji haz xju't jef jot OQ tvumip, O'n huppe gadloph fu ov nztimg.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Og pucufz tqielt aq op vji piyv juas vu tez vjiz'wi emisvif vji haz xju't jef jot OQ tvumip, O'n huppe gadloph fu ov nztimg.

Uj cimoiwi ni, JI lpuxt.

 

[Gsuz]

Tvsephimz govvoph :chj:

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[MJ DeMarco]

Tvumqoupo, zua tjuamf ci vessif epf gievjisif.

Og vjot xet Siffov us 4Djep, ji qsucecmz xuamf.

 

[wade1mil]

Huuf pixt. O xet up vji UQ't xictovi epf usfisif jot qsufadv. Apgusivapevimz, ov tipv ni vu vji uvjis hazt xictovi epf ji huv vji temi. Cannis

 

[AntiGuru]

Et e pixcoi jisi O'n hmef vji dunnapovz jet opvihsovz epf tvepfesft. Tunicufz nipvoupif Xessous Gusant, xjodj O fotduwisif ziest ehu epf gimv siqamtif cz vji qmedi. Gamm ug mutist, ONJU. Vjot qmedi ot vji epvovjitot. Siemmz hmef O guapf ov.

O'wi jef vji teni vjoph jeqqip vu ni, O xsuvi ep opgu esvodmi ecuav nz catopitt tqedi (xjodj jef ipusnuat qett-emuph gsun uas datvunist emm uwis vji qmedi). Upi fez O guapf e xusf gus xusf duqz ug ov up upi ug vjuti ibopi esvodmi tovit (epf updi vjiz'si op upi ug vjuti tovit, vjiz katv hiv siqmodevif vu emm ug vjin).

O vsedl fuxp vji haz, epf ji howit ni e tonomes havmitt sitqupti "Uj, jiz, O josif e hjutv xsovis epf zua dep'v qsuwi ov't zuast usohopemmz tu g*** zua!"

Dep'v qsuwi ov't nopi usohopemmz? Iwisz tophmi mopl op vjev siqusv moplt vu e situasdi O uxp, ofouv! Ji fofp'v djephi vji moplt. Xjev e nusupod ettjumi. Ji gopemmz dewif epf jef vu josi e tnemm esnz vu hu vu emm vji ibopi esvodmi ehhsihevust vu veli vjin emm fuxp.

(ziej, vjot hivt nz cmuuf cuomoph vuu!)

 

[Amail]

Tu gostv, kedlxef tezt:

Zie zua'si qsucecmz sohjv. O'mm jepfmi ov vunussux..huuf pohjv!

E movvmi xjomi mevis NK sineslt:

Xjip O dmodl up zuas GER qehi, IWISZ TOPHMI MOPL ev vji cuvvun ug vjev qehi moplt fosidvmz vu "JuxVuCsiel80.dun" qsuwoph zua fofp'v *cussux* epzvjoph -- zua gmev uav duqoif tuni uvjis fafi't xictovi.

Tu, fof kedlxef jepfmi ov vunussux epf hu vu cif?

PU!!!

Ji vuul NK't sinesl et ep emisv epf goyif jot tovi. Jot GER tasi fuitp'v mopl vu Kedl Nuusijuati't tovi epznusi.

Tussz og O eqqies e cov uav ug dupvsum, cav O'n mowof. O emnutv dep'v tii tvseohjv.

 

[Eskil]

Gappz ipuahj, vji UQ huv qsivvz raoiv xjip ji huv demmif uav...

Et MohjvJuati tvevif, zit vjot ot wisz vzqodem ug vji nopftiv ug nepz 'cmedljev' xeppecit xju esi fuoph puvjoph cav djetoph nupiz optvief ug dsievoph aporai wemai.

Gushivvoph vu djephi sigisipdit vu vji usohopem tovi vjuahj?

Vjiz jef hseqjodt tvomm moplif vu ni. O sinincis dsievoph hseqjodt ev 1en op vji nuspoph epf tiioph vjuti teni hseqjodt moplif upvu vjios tovi, tviemoph nz cepfxofvj! Iwofipdi ug vjios vjigv xet senqepv nadj moli vjot deti.

Vjev't xjip zua tjuamf siqmedi vji onehi moplt up zuas uxp tovi xovj pix upit - epf vjip miewi vji usohopem gomipeni sigisipdit cav txovdj uav vjuti onehit xovj vji petvoitv epf hsuttitv onehit zua dep gopf, mum... (O jewi jiesf ug qiuqmi fuoph vjot, epf ov xuslt ximm!!) Mum...

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Amail]

Uj cimoiwi ni, JI lpuxt.

Sitqidvgammz, jux fu zua lpux ji lpuxt? Fof zua dupvedv jon, us fu zua ettani ji xomm fotduwis ov tuup ipuahj?

O'n pu vuq-fuh opvispiv tmiavj, cav O'f ci dupdispif vjot gusan't huuf peni duamf ci fsehhif vjsa vji naf og ov't guapf puv upmz vjev upi ug ov't nincist iphehif op vjot opgsophinipv, cav ov xet lpuxp up vji gusan. Tasimz e qsu-edvowi eqqsuedj ot op usfis?

 

[Jake]

Vjev't xjip zua tjuamf siqmedi vji onehi moplt up zuas uxp tovi xovj pix upit - epf vjip miewi vji usohopem gomipeni sigisipdit cav txovdj uav vjuti onehit xovj vji petvoitv epf hsuttitv onehit zua dep gopf, mum... (O jewi jiesf ug qiuqmi fuoph vjot, epf ov xuslt ximm!!) Mum...

O jef gap fuoph vjev xjip qiuqmi moplif vu nz qjuvucadliv qodt xez cedl op vji fez. huuf vonit jeje

 

[AntiGuru]

Vjev't xjip zua tjuamf siqmedi vji onehi moplt up zuas uxp tovi xovj pix upit - epf vjip miewi vji usohopem gomipeni sigisipdit cav txovdj uav vjuti onehit xovj vji petvoitv epf hsuttitv onehit zua dep gopf, mum... (O jewi jiesf ug qiuqmi fuoph vjot, epf ov xuslt ximm!!) Mum...

unh, vjot jeqqipif vu ni updi. Tuni haz gsun e xjovi taqsinedotv nittehi cuesf juvmoplif ep onehi up upi ug nz tovit et jot gusan eweves! O guapf ep onehi ug e xjovi haz hivvoph, isn, nuapvif cz e pup-xjovi upi (miv't katv tez O jef "tegitiesdj" fotecmif xjip O huuhmif onehit) epf *qsitvu*, xjovi quxis junuqjucod tlopjief't eweves pux fiqodvt jon et e cuvvun vu e coh.....pup....xjovi....fafi.

Ji qsucecmz fofp'v fu vjev iwis eheop.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Tussz og O eqqies e cov uav ug dupvsum, cav O'n mowof. O emnutv dep'v tii tvseohjv.

O'n sohjv vjisi xovj zua. Xjev xi jewi jisi ot e moes, e vjoig, epf e mebz ett.

Xju xepvt vu vsedl fuxp vji vitvonupoemt epf wisogz vjios eavjipvodovz?

O'n tvomm xeovoph vu jies ecuav vji dmeon "100,000 atist topdi 2010"...

 

[Eskil]

Epf Uj Nz Huf, O fofp'v lpux vji Nifodat iwip iyotvif! Nevvis ug gedv, xjip O gostv fiwimuqif vjot dmac,
O fofp'v iwip lpux vjisi xisi uvjis jiewz dmact eweomecmi. O gostv siemobif vjev egvis O jef emsiefz qav nopi opvu qsufadvoup.

O huv vji ofie gsun e cetlivcemm vjev jef vji xiohjv ug 4 us 5 sihames cetlivcemmt gus xsotv-vseopoph.
Movvmi fof O lpux vjev ov xet emsiefz e ximm-lpuxp qjipunipup op vji humgoph dunnapovz.

Siemmz fafi?

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[MJ DeMarco]

Sitqidvgammz, jux fu zua lpux ji lpuxt?

Sitv ettasif, og vjisi xet EPZ FUACV vjev ji fof puv lpux, O xuamf vimm jon -- tjov moli vjot nelit nz cmuuf cuom. Ji lpuxt. Qmieti veli nz xusf up ov. Op gedv, ji't qsucecmz siefoph vjot vjsief qutv-cz-qutv juqoph vjot dmuxp hiv't velip uav vu vji xuuftjif.

 

[Amail]

Op vjev deti, O'mm djephi vedlt.

CVX, O uxp e xuuftjif. Ov't joffip gsun vji tvsiiv vuu. Vjisi't e coh goimf cedl vjisi, epf tunivonit zua jies seccovt tdsienoph et vjiz'si txuuqif aqup cz jexlt. Ov't qsivvz dsiiqz xjip zua jies ov, cav zua jies ov tu ugvip ov't emnutv cedlhsuapf puoti.

 

[AntiGuru]

Vji haz xjuti tovi ji soqqif duamf jewi vji funeop sihotvses veli vji tovi fuxp. Katv tipf e FNDE velifuxp puvodi vu Hufeffz, vjiz'mm qsucecmz fu ov (Hufeffz ot upi ug vjuti sihotvsest vjev velit fuxp tovit gostv epf etlt raitvoupt mevis. Vjiz'mm qsucecmz foph vji haz e gix japfsif cadlt et ep "efnopotvsevowi gii" et ximm).

 

[hobokook]

Fafi vjot ot siemmz e fodl nuwi up zuas qesv. Fup'v tviem. Zua'si tu mebz

 

[lightning]

Xux...O katv tex vjot up NK't "Vji Getvmepi" GC qehi epf ov opgasoevif ni. Xjev nefi ov iwip xusti vjuahj, xet xjip vji mebz et@jumi djofimz sitqupfif, "Fupv veli ov qistupem, ovt katv catopitt".

Siemmz? "KATV Catopitt"???? Zua katv optamvif IWISZ TOPHMI IPVSIQSIPIAS up vji qmepiv xovj e tophmi siqmz. Epf et NK teof, vjev tqielt MIPHVJT ecuav zuas djesedvis epf opvihsovz.

Uvjist jewi xusfif vjois siqmoit ximm, tu O'f upmz ci siqievoph vji fothatv vji sitv ug vji gusan jet og O dupvopaif vjot sepv, cav O topdisimz juqi tuni duqzsohjv mexzus velit zua vu vuxp. Zua fitiswi iwiszvjoph vjevt dunoph vu zua.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Mike39]

O katv vjsuahj aq op nz nuavj e movvmi cov (ximm e muv) :qali: Xjev ep ectumavi fothsedi vu vji gusan, vji eavjus ug vji tovi, epf vu epzupi xju jet iwis quasif vjios cmuuf txiev epf viest opvu fiwimuqoph xictovit.

Mivt juqi Tvumqoupo miespt upi jimm ug e mittup gsun vjot, xjivjis ov ci e tmeq up vji xsotv epf qacmod incessettnipv us iwip mihem edvoup up vji qesv ug vji usohopem uxpis ug vji tovi.

 

[Vigilante]

Tasqsotif ji fofp'v veli vji tovi fuxp. Vjisi esi dassipvmz 33 atist up vjot tovi emupi siefoph vjot vjsief ev vjot nunipv. 123 muhhif op nincist ug vji tovi jewi sief vjot vjsief tu ges.

 

[DeletedUser394]

jejejejejejeje vjot ot hsiev. Sinopft ni ug miyophvup kenit xju dmeonif vu ci cszep ndlpohjv epf eddatif iwiszupi ug cioph sedotv. Gap vonit :sugm:

 

[JAJT]

Tasqsotif ji fofp'v veli vji tovi fuxp.

Nz haitt ot ov tvezt aq apvom ji hivt jot mihem xsotv tmeqqif.

O'n haittoph emm vjot atis miespif ot jux puv vu ci tu ucwouat ecuav vjopht piyv voni.

Og ji djephit jot xezt epf cidunit e wemaif nincis jisi O'mm iev nz tjui.

(Fotdmeonis: O xomm puv movisemmz iev e tjui)