I've been a loser now I MUST find a solution! Any advice?

[Late Bloomer]

from what you've told me here guys...

I'm looking forward to the post from you that says, instead:
from what I decided my life is about now, that unstoppably drives me forward every day...

 

[NanoDrake]

clean your room

rescue your father from the darkness

stand up straight with your shoulders back

jokes aside, read about habits and understand which successful ones you can implement

 

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[Drive2Riches]

I read TMF four times. First, one read-through. Second time I had post it notes. Third read, I went back through the post-its and removed them, and then the fourth read was "what have I missed that I didn't see before?"

@Alexx , I haven't seen anywhere in this thread anything from you about brain-changing topics you discovered in the book. Whatever you have read in TMF that you loved, latch on to it and figure out how to apply it in your life.

One of the very first Gold threads in the forum was "Should I go to college?" and also, "Programming is bad! No! Programming is good!" If you've been in this forum and found the best of the best threads, you'll find these two. You'll find pros and cons for both these questions, but no matter what, the THINKING is the takeaway.

I DID finish college. But it wasn't right after high school. It was many years later. And what I learned there was about life, not about the subjects I studied. Whether it's engineering or business or programming, just FINISHING is a tremendous personal achievement. And learning how to THINK was my biggest reward.

Solve problems. <-- this is what I learned.

And in college or out of it, problem-solving is what gets me out of bed at 6am and also makes it hard to get to sleep at night.

I see myself in some of your posts, except for the wallowing part.

A relative told me once that we are naturally drawn to our own equilibrium. If you feel unsettled in a space, then you'll constantly search for where you're comfortable. If you hope to care for your parents some day, then maybe finding that ladder that builds that experience which builds a business that solves problems that helps millions.......... will help you help your parents.

 

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[ALC]

The fact is: business is hard. You have to be a marketer, a copywriter, a business analyst, a cold caller, a salesman, a closer, a software develop, an SEO specialist and an account manager every single week, all on your own.

All above is the truth, and it's the same for any business.
I dropped out of College to go build a Coffee Shop with my parents than to begin to start a new Coffee Shop business (new style of coffee shop, unique theme) to go to Sales in R.Estate, i hate it but i earn money, this money is been putted aside for actual business developpment and for future business if the actual fail.

I don't have a clue what my life has to be, where i need to go (career), so i move forward in the thing that produce money and i keep my eyes open for opportunities, i learn/read a lot about business, financial education (money managment and Forex trading), i also keep myself up-to-date for the last technology if ever i can do something here.

The point is : You won't know where you need to go, but go somewhere if you feel there's something at the end.
If you feel that your degree is not worth pursuing, than stop and go get a sales job and work like nobody to get your game up, but it will be difficult, long hours and effort, it can definitely be done.

Keep your eyes open for opportunities like us, learn from the greatest on this Forum, learn how they've done it, don't read useless book, keep the list short but useful > TMF / Unscripted / The One Thing / Zero To One / The Go Giver / THE E MYTH / ... and work until you got something.

and also : Don't compare yourself to others young entrepreners, they might be early in the game, lucky b*stard, but if you try things over and over, it will be your time, be patient.

Find you why

 

[Kid]

[QUOTE="Alexx, post: 692570, member: 56482"
Any advice?[/QUOTE]

Make a course on "How to stop being loser"

 

[ALC]

Thank you man! This is a great reply!

Even If I finish my degree, it will make me some money but since I hate it I will be miserable and not in the top of that field (IT).

I want to be the best so that's why I'm confused on the field , if I choose sales I must become the best at it and dropout everything else.

Like another entrepreneur told me sometime ago: do or don't do, there is no try.

Now I'm realizing it's true!!

As you now mention that you're in IT, i would not dropout before seeing any field possible.
What if you don't like it NOW but at the end you'll do something you love and bring money and could potentially put you in a place where there's plenty of entrepreneurs..

Think about this before anything, is there an activity that i would do in IT that will be available at the end of my degree, is it worth it ? (your choice)

Be sure that there's money to be made in Sales, but there's also a big crowd there ready to eat you alive, it's business too.
I'm confused too, i chose R.E because that the first opportunity that was in front of me, if someday i have something better i would be dumb to refuse the opportunity.

Chose if possible a field where you got some interest, at least a bit.

This quote is 100% true, it's hard to go all in sometimes, but might be worth it.

Don't rush your decision, take time to think about it, go for a running, a walk to clear your head, get a piece of paper and a pen and write down what you want from life, from your career and your interest.

Who you are, what type of personnality > which job/business could suits you ? > Multi employees business or 1-3/5 employees..

 

[Late Bloomer]

, it will make me some money but since I hate it I will be miserable and not in the top of that field (IT).

IT is a huge field with many different types of jobs in many different types of companies.

There are IT companies where everyone goes home promptly at 5 on Friday. There are companies where everyone stays late Friday for the beer bash.

There are companies where everyone wears suits and they sell to bankers. There are IT companies where everyone wears shorts and their software is for surfers. Also, banks have internal IT departments. I worked at one where everyone wore polo shirts and khakis. There are sportswear companies with internal IT departments, where half of the coders might be marathon runners.

There are IT people who write code all day and never talk to anyone. There are IT people who talk to people all day and never write any code.

There are IT teams who have the day together at picnic tables in the bullpen. There are IT teams on different continents who meet in person once a year.

There are IT shops that are all Mac and everyone's memos have the coolest fonts. There are IT shops that are all Mainframe and everyone's emails have the same standard font.

There are IT people paid 100% on commission. There are IT people who have a great 401k plan. There are IT people who work half the year, for a different company each year, for a full time income. There are IT people who transferred to a different division within Microsoft for a 30 year run at the same company.

How can you say you'll have nothing but hatred for ALL of it?

I think you should finish your degree and get job placement help from the school. Take anything that gets you in motion, learning about business life, sales, and more about the world of IT.

 

[Alexx]

As you now mention that you're in IT, i would not dropout before seeing any field possible.
What if you don't like it NOW but at the end you'll do something you love and bring money and could potentially put you in a place where there's plenty of entrepreneurs..

Think about this before anything, is there an activity that i would do in IT that will be available at the end of my degree, is it worth it ? (your choice)

Be sure that there's money to be made in Sales, but there's also a big crowd there ready to eat you alive, it's business too.
I'm confused too, i chose R.E because that the first opportunity that was in front of me, if someday i have something better i would be dumb to refuse the opportunity.

Chose if possible a field where you got some interest, at least a bit.

This quote is 100% true, it's hard to go all in sometimes, but might be worth it.

Don't rush your decision, take time to think about it, go for a running, a walk to clear your head, get a piece of paper and a pen and write down what you want from life, from your career and your interest.

Who you are, what type of personnality > which job/business could suits you ? > Multi employees business or 1-3/5 employees..

Thanks. I don't fear sales, I'm ready to work hard. Good thing about thinking more about a decision and not rushing, I must have a clear mind.

 

[scott.legendre]

listen and learn about David Goggins, he's the guy who will get you out of your loser sh*t talk

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78I9dTB9vqM&t=292s


If you don't know where to start, start with your health and physique. No matter what point in life you are at, you don't feel like a loser by having a 6 pack and being full of energy.

"Embrace the suck"

 

[LaraJF]

I got my BS/EE in 89 because my parents told me I should get an engineering degree because I was "good" at science and math. I've been hobbying my own business since '99, and am finally working on turning it into a business these past two years. So it's all a process.

Should you finish the degree?

Well, I would ask "What do you want to be an entrepreneur in?"

If it relates to programming/IT/electronics, then maybe finish the degree while you build up your side business. I've found that when I know the business, it's easier to understand how to outsource.

If there's one thing I've learned, just because I fail doesn't make me a failure (unless I give up).

You got this.

Hi everyone, I'm new member here.

Basically I've been studying these last years programming, electronics and telecommunications degree (in Europe).

I still need to graduate and get the bachelor but I'm far away from finishing it.
Any advice? Is there anyone here that had the same experience like me in the past?

 

[WJK]

Hi everyone, I'm new member here.

After reading MJ's book, I've realized many things about my life.

I've been a loser for more than three years.
Basically I've been studying these last years programming, electronics and telecommunications degree (in Europe).

I still need to graduate and get the bachelor but I'm far away from finishing it.
I've just realized how much time I've wasted procrastinating, hanging out with losers and NOT working or studying enough. My parents don't know nothing about this situation. They always helped me and paid for my studies. They think I'm doing good but I'm not. I feel so bad about it.

I'm telling you this here because I've realized I want to change my life, be a real entrepreneur and become a real winner in life (so I can help also my family because they helped me).

I've also realized that the studies I'm doing are not my main focus/goals, the only thing is that if I dropout now it would be really hard to find a job as many employers could ask me why I didn't finish my studies and why I didn't work. I know I want to create my own business but before I need some save up money from a job or an hustle.

I don't want to look like a desperate guy but I know I want to CHANGE my life and stop all the BS I've told myself in the last years of my life. I want to start WINNING and stop losing.

I still feel like my mind worked against me so I couldn't be able to reach any goal yet.

Any advice? Is there anyone here that had the same experience like me in the past?

Why drop out? You have a long learning curve to be ready to start your business. Finish your studies. Study business on the side and get ready to jump when the time is right.

How can you use your current education to start a business? Sit on the front row in class, and put your shoulder into it. Constantly ask yourself and your profs how you can use all this knowledge to create a good business. Read. Learn. Talk to everyone you meet. Carry a notebook and keep notes on any ideas that may become good ideas. Program your mind to work on it while you're sleeping. There is nothing new under the sun. Genius is taking existing parts and ideas, and reordering them to create something new or different. You'll know when you reach the right moment to get started.

You have an advantage that I never had -- your parents are paying your way, so you're not working on the side. What are you doing with all that free time? Don't tell me that you don't have any spare time.

(When I was your age, I carried 18 units in college and worked 32 hours a week to feed and house myself. Yes, I was very successful in my classes. I was there to learn.)

The information you'll need to create a business is free or cheap. It's all online or in ebooks. It's your choice.
www.wjkbusinessbuzz.com

 

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[Alexx]

listen and learn about David Goggins, he's the guy who will get you out of your loser sh*t talk

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78I9dTB9vqM&t=292s


If you don't know where to start, start with your health and physique. No matter what point in life you are at, you don't feel like a loser by having a 6 pack and being full of energy.

"Embrace the suck"

That's the best gift I've ever received, this guy in the video rocks, thank you.

 

[calebbschilling]

Hi everyone, I'm new member here.

After reading MJ's book, I've realized many things about my life.

I've been a loser for more than three years.
Basically I've been studying these last years programming, electronics and telecommunications degree (in Europe).

I still need to graduate and get the bachelor but I'm far away from finishing it.
I've just realized how much time I've wasted procrastinating, hanging out with losers and NOT working or studying enough. My parents don't know nothing about this situation. They always helped me and paid for my studies. They think I'm doing good but I'm not. I feel so bad about it.

I'm telling you this here because I've realized I want to change my life, be a real entrepreneur and become a real winner in life (so I can help also my family because they helped me).

I've also realized that the studies I'm doing are not my main focus/goals, the only thing is that if I dropout now it would be really hard to find a job as many employers could ask me why I didn't finish my studies and why I didn't work. I know I want to create my own business but before I need some save up money from a job or an hustle.

I don't want to look like a desperate guy but I know I want to CHANGE my life and stop all the BS I've told myself in the last years of my life. I want to start WINNING and stop losing.

I still feel like my mind worked against me so I couldn't be able to reach any goal yet.

Any advice? Is there anyone here that had the same experience like me in the past?

Start by making better choices. Better choices that better you. Start small. Only you know what choices are good / bad for you. Trust your gut if you’re really unsure.

 

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[WJK]

Thank you for the kind words

Yeah I know internet is the best place. I usually study on youtube because unfortunately I have really bad professors and I don't understand them but I usually understand many concepts on youtube.

So even if I don't feel like I've the "gift" to be a computer scientist, I should just keep going and finish my studies?

I don't use any of my training and education the ways people expected. I own it, and I can use it any way I see fit. So can you.
Lean into your educational opportunity. Make friends with the profs. Ask tons of questions. Find out why you don't understand them. You may discover that they would love to help you. Maybe there's more there than you ever expected.

Oh, in the spirit of full disclosure -- I taught a little bit of college in the good 'ol days...
www.wjkbusinessbuzz.com

 

[Harry321]

I went to University for an accounting degree. I didn't enjoy it and wasn't particularly good at it. All it took was some simple weighing up of the financial cost, my life goals and the time commitment to know that dropping out was the best decision to make.

As you said you have 60% to go. I wonder how much that will actually cost you in $$$? Worth it?

Don't let anyone tell you that a degree is a safe option. It isn't. Even if you do want a developer job, the company won't give a toss about your degree - they only care about whether you can code well, and help them to achieve their business goals. So don't worry about it.

I personally went for a sales job as I knew it was the best "job" for an aspiring entrepreneur, and from your posts I would recommend it to you. Sales jobs are not hard to get but they are hard to keep and be successful in. You'll have the opportunity to make more than the average salary with less than 1 years experience - as long as you put in the work to become great at selling whatever it is you are selling.

Then in the meantime you will get paid, have time after work to pursue entrepreneurship and won't be in debt for thousands of dollars for something you didn't even want to do.

Just my two cents

 

[Alexx]

Can you switch to a business degree, or have your existing technical classes count towards a double major? You could take Advanced Algorithms, but if Intermediate Algorithms makes you dizzy and lost, why keep climbing the wrong ladder for you?

Mr Bloomer, last day I literally had the best focus I've ever had in my life. I staid up all night studying on the internet everything about cyber security and the hacker mindset.
A new world opened my mind, it's incredible. I see that in order to get very good at cyber security you must be great at coding and algorithms.. that's only the problem lol

However, in terms of career or entrepreneurial ventures, I'd like to sell cyber security solutions/systems to companies instead of being the IT guy.

A quick Google search told me that both Sales engineer and cyber security specialist make good money in their starter career so I'm pretty sure it would be a great deal If I want to open a company in the future in this industry.

I also found that the bilionaire Mark Cuban in an interview said that cyber security and artificial intelligence will be great industries for entrepreneurs.

I'm really excited of all the opportunities available in the world. Being rich means also starting to think like a rich man in your mind.

Also if I remember mr Bloomer you wrote about IT marketing and techical writing. I've also found that techical copywriters can make more than engineers, that's interesting.

I want to shift my focus on creating so much value for the world so I can live well and earn good money to help my family and the world to become a better place.

 

[Alexx]

Alexx, your new direction sounds really great!! Way to go!



This sounds ideal for you!
In this new role, you can at last be honest about your strengths and weaknesses. "If the algorithms make you dizzy, they do that to me too... I switched from learning code to learning sales, so that I could help clients understand how our product applies the best algorithms to keep their businesses safe..."



I totally agree with all that. I think cyber security will be important for many more years. If it ever becomes a completely solved problem, by then you'll be great at technical sales and can switch to selling AI or whatever is next. But cyber security might be a huge area for the rest of my lifetime and yours.

Mark Cuban has also talked about how he took home the manuals on the technical stuff to sell, and practiced and learned at home so he would be better able to communicate about the products. He also found his excitement kept him up and focused all night. So there is an awesome choice of inspiration and role model for you!



In both careers there are a lot of people making an average salary, and a few people who are real stars of the field, able to do top quality work and to sell at top prices.



That is so positive!

Now that you have a direction, you can make better choices about college.

You could continue with software and maybe get a mediocre technical degree.
You could switch to business and probably get a lot of value out of business classes. Your parents might be able to appreciate your new direction now, if you let them know you're still excited about software but you realized you want to be involved in selling it more than with coding it.
You could start a business while staying in school.
You could start a business outside of school.

Hopefully it will soon be clear to you which lane changes get you to your destination that much faster.
What is your best way to become a good, profitable software-seller soon? So that you can pay for your own college if you want, or pay for whatever else you want to make happen?

Thank you Mr . Bloomer, I appreciate your words.

Absolutely, I feel more confident now, I know that algorithms isn't really my think but I already see a version of me in the future (the vision) who is already selling AI robots or cyber security solutions to companies while learning and then having my own company

I think it's getting all more clear about what I want to do in the future.

The real decision now is I think I should let know to my parents about my strenghts and make a decision, I could also finish and get a mediocre IT degree and then while working I can another one in business but it would take long time or just switch to business and start learning sales by selling software.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Thanks, good advice but what if they will not support my decision anymore? I think in the worst case scenario I will hustle and do what I feel is good for me..

It seems that you're still looking for outside validation and approval of whatever you might decide. People on the forum can provide advice and perspectives, but each opinion is just one person's point of view. It might be worth building your life around, it might worth throwing away. Either way it's up to you to consider, choose, commit, and own that decision, aware of the potential outcomes.

I just noticed that your account doesn't have the flags for reading MJ's books. Might as well get to that soon! He has some of the best discussion I've ever seen about thinking about consequences.

 

[Alexx]

It seems that you're still looking for outside validation and approval of whatever you might decide. People on the forum can provide advice and perspectives, but each opinion is just one person's point of view. It might be worth building your life around, it might worth throwing away. Either way it's up to you to consider, choose, commit, and own that decision, aware of the potential outcomes.

I just noticed that your account doesn't have the flags for reading MJ's books. Might as well get to that soon! He has some of the best discussion I've ever seen about thinking about consequences.

Thanks mr. Bloomer! Where could I find this information thinking about consequences?

I'm only worried if I lose everything, I mean I've already "wasted" some years into doing a college I don't really like and leaving would leave me with no income and no job (for now). Or like you said I can switch degree or finish it, I know it's only my decision.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

Where could I find this information thinking about consequences?

That's something MJ discusses in his books. I haven't done a forum search here, but you could also try "decision making" or "consequences" etc. to see if someone here has good discussions of that topic.

 

[Alexx]

Here is another story for you.

Imagine a guy growing up majority as a loner in the suburbs. Getting shot at age 21. (thankfully living!) then Striking it rich in his 20's in the weed industry. Then blowing up my house and my self in the hospital for a month, Loosing everything and going to prison, and

now coming out at age 30 with no transferable skills or money. But with the drive and work ethic to try and do something

That's impressive man ! You got a great attitude! All the best!

 

[Alexx]

A loser for a whole 3 years?
Rookie.

You are in a good place here. Settle down. Settle in.
Read a lot.

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

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[Alexx]

Develop useful habits and ur life will change of its own accord.

I have to stick to good habits. I don't have focus for anything neither for studying hard.
Do you have any advice ? Is there any good App I can use to stick to my habits without losing focus?

I've tried to wake up at 6am everyday but I didn't stick.
Sometimes I go to bed late, didn't do nothing at all in the day, lost motivation and keep being stuck. I'm tired of this that's why I must change.

 

[Alexx]

Made me laugh.


Dude it's time to become a bigger loser. Start reading nonfiction books. Stop hanging with friends who only want to drink and smoke. No buying that new car or those clothes you can't afford. Everyone's going to look at you and think you are the loser driving that 99 beater and wearing clothes from Goodwill.

In TMF MJ talked about how he had 2 business degrees while he had trouble dating, was working minimum wage jobs and all of his friends had nice cubicle jobs with salaries.

The real question is are you willing to be a loser to achieve your dreams?

I undestand. Yes I will become a loser only to achieve my dreams!
I must get into the right motivation, many days I lost motivation and I didn't do nothing. Being tired of this that's why I understood I must change my life.

 

[Alexx]

Why do you have to choose between one and the other?

We humans have this tendency of it's either option A or option B. What might happen to you if you choose the route of both A AND B?

Loving you,
Tiago

Thanks man! What do you mean? Like keep studying and working to save money while setting up a business?

 

[Alexx]

Dear Alex, First I welcome you to the legendary Fastlane forum. Please Introduce yourself here, I would love to hear more about your story. To register in this Forum, be active and contribute is a good first step from stop being a loser to becoming a successful person.


Stop giving the responsibility away and start taking responsibility! Stop being a victim.
You messed it up. Harsh, yes. But if you are the problem, who is the solution?

YOU are the solution!
In Other words: You have all the power.
So stop being a poor little boy and start take action. Massive Action!


Do those three things and you will fly:

1.)EDUCATE yourself about success.
Dive deep into self-help, personal-development literature and learn the necessary knowledge for your space. (Please only consume from authors with a high credility!)

2.)SURROUND yourself with LIKE MINDED PEOPLE.
Jim Rohn said it best: <You are the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with>. Who are your big 5? Are they what you want to be?

3.)Take HUGE, RELENTLESS, MASSIVE ACTION.
... until you have reached your goals and dreams.
​

Thats it. That is enough. Go now!
Go make your dream a reality!

Thanks a lot!! This forum is god's send!

I have to make a decision and stick to it and be a winner, no more losing or being stuck.

 

[luniac]

I have to stick to good habits. I don't have focus for anything neither for studying hard.
Do you have any advice ? Is there any good App I can use to stick to my habits without losing focus?

I've tried to wake up at 6am everyday but I didn't stick.
Sometimes I go to bed late, didn't do nothing at all in the day, lost motivation and keep being stuck. I'm tired of this that's why I must change.

I've struggled myself with sticking to good habits and avoiding distractions.
best I can say is take it one habit at a time, and slow down ur life a bit, physically and mentally.

 

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[Alexx]

Then start winning.

You know what would be a 'win'? Changing your major to something you want to study + finishing it with honors.

Another 'win': spending more time with people who have done what you want to do, rather than your friends who drink + party all the time. (Don't stop partying altogether, though)

Another 'win': reading the books that will get you closer to your goals.

Another 'win': helping someone out with something. Switching your mindset from 'taker' to 'giver'. 'Consumer' to 'producer'. Winners give generously.

Another 'win': forming a habit on the power of your discipline alone. Do you work out? If you don't, start doing that. Do you have a set time for yourself to read? If not, then set aside time specifically for reading. Do you wake up at the same time every day? If not, start doing that (doesn't have to be early, just consistent!)

Success begets success, and there are psychological reasons for it which I won't go into. If you win at enough things, in a row, then you start to believe that you can win at anything.

THanks for the gold advices!

The major 's problem is that I feel like I'm still undecided of what to do next.

I don't want to dissapoint my family, they paid for my studies and I want to help them in return!!

Don't know if it's better to finish (I've realized I'm hating my degree now) or switch to something better ( parents won't help me they will be dissapointed with me).

That's why it's so important now for me to stick to one path. Do or not do.

 

[Alexx]

You waste 3 years of your life, because of hanging out and you call yourself a loser? Do you want to read a story of a real loser? So, here it is.

Imagine a guy in his early 20's who has depression and social anxiety (yes, something like this really exsists). Someone who has literally no friends, no sexual experience and no job. He is even not able to go out to drink beer with friends.

This short story is an image of me two years ago. Thinking about suicide. Right now I'm 24, and I'm at second year of computer science. Working as software developer in big company, start my own web business. Have a lot of friends.

Stop fuc***g complaining man and take massive action to change your situation. Do what you can do right now to finish your studies. Find purpose.

Be conscious that, there might be someone who event doesn't have what you have. You know, how many tries I need to go out for the first time with someone? 87 man. I need ask other people 87 times until I've heard "yes".

One more time, stop complaining, find motivation and work hard as hell.

That's motivating man!

How did you find again your main purpose? I feel lost, actually I'm studying the same like you but it's so confusing.

I don't want to give up because the studies are hard, but I feel like I hate my degree and don't have the motivation to keep studying hard.

 

[Alexx]

Amen. At least you know you're a loser, OP. So you can fix it. Most losers don't even know it.


Drop it. If you've spent 3 years and haven't even reached 40%, that means the total loss will be 8 years. Save those 5 years. Find an in-demand trade. Get a sales job. Anything except further wallowing.


1. Focus is the primary attribute of a winner. It is so difficult to maintain focus; it must be worked on. If you have to scream at yourself "focus you piece of s!@#!" every time you drift off, do it.
2. Do not abdicate responsibility. Don't even dare think of apps, services, blogs, or websites to help you do basic things.

THanks for this one!

I've read many blogs and used many apps but I know now it depends all on me, I wasted lot of time reading no sense.

If I dropout the only thing is I will feel bad because my parents paied for my studies and they will lose money.

But if I start doing something I'm really interested in, I can get good at it and make money so I can help my parents giving them back for their help!

What do you mean ? A trade like electrician? I'd like to get experience in sales or marketing first.

For sales you advice to get any sales job?