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HOT TOPIC I've been a loser now I MUST find a solution! Any advice?

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
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Hi everyone, I'm new member here.

After reading MJ's book, I've realized many things about my life.

I've been a loser for more than three years.
Basically I've been studying these last years programming, electronics and telecommunications degree (in Europe).

I still need to graduate and get the bachelor but I'm far away from finishing it.
I've just realized how much time I've wasted procrastinating, hanging out with losers and NOT working or studying enough. My parents don't know nothing about this situation. They always helped me and paid for my studies. They think I'm doing good but I'm not. I feel so bad about it.

I'm telling you this here because I've realized I want to change my life, be a real entrepreneur and become a real winner in life (so I can help also my family because they helped me).

I've also realized that the studies I'm doing are not my main focus/goals, the only thing is that if I dropout now it would be really hard to find a job as many employers could ask me why I didn't finish my studies and why I didn't work. I know I want to create my own business but before I need some save up money from a job or an hustle.

I don't want to look like a desperate guy but I know I want to CHANGE my life and stop all the BS I've told myself in the last years of my life. I want to start WINNING and stop losing.

I still feel like my mind worked against me so I couldn't be able to reach any goal yet.

Any advice? Is there anyone here that had the same experience like me in the past?
 

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ANR

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Hey Alexx

How long have you got left of your studies?

Just think: this is day one of the rest of your life. You want to make a change? You can from now on.

BUT...

It is easy to fall into the trap of ALWAYS chasing the next, ALWAYS trying to be more and ALWAYS feeling like your current situation is inadequate.

Have a look around you. By the sound of it you have great parents and you are in a first world country with access to the internet. You have ALREADY won two of the biggest lotteries.

Use feeling like a looser as FUEL but don't forget to be really f***ing grateful for even being in the position of having first world problems in the first place.

:)

ANR
 

lewj24

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A loser for a whole 3 years?
Rookie.
Made me laugh.


Dude it's time to become a bigger loser. Start reading nonfiction books. Stop hanging with friends who only want to drink and smoke. No buying that new car or those clothes you can't afford. Everyone's going to look at you and think you are the loser driving that 99 beater and wearing clothes from Goodwill.

In TMF MJ talked about how he had 2 business degrees while he had trouble dating, was working minimum wage jobs and all of his friends had nice cubicle jobs with salaries.

The real question is are you willing to be a loser to achieve your dreams?
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Hey Alexx

How long have you got left of your studies?

Just think: this is day one of the rest of your life. You want to make a change? You can from now on.

BUT...

It is easy to fall into the trap of ALWAYS chasing the next, ALWAYS trying to be more and ALWAYS feeling like your current situation is inadequate.

Have a look around you. By the sound of it you have great parents and you are in a first world country with access to the internet. You have ALREADY won two of the biggest lotteries.

Use feeling like a looser as FUEL but don't forget to be really f***ing grateful for even being in the position of having first world problems in the first place.

:)

ANR
Thanks man this is true. I'm "lucky" and I love my family.

The problem I'm not even at 40% of my studies and I need more and more time to finsh college.

So I must make a decision now : keep studying my a** off or dropout , get any job and save money for business.

I'm tired of being stuck, I have to make a decision, I know it 's not easy , but an entrereneur told me better make a decision than none.
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Develop useful habits and ur life will change of its own accord.
I have to stick to good habits. I don't have focus for anything neither for studying hard.
Do you have any advice ? Is there any good App I can use to stick to my habits without losing focus?

I've tried to wake up at 6am everyday but I didn't stick.
Sometimes I go to bed late, didn't do nothing at all in the day, lost motivation and keep being stuck. I'm tired of this that's why I must change.
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Made me laugh.


Dude it's time to become a bigger loser. Start reading nonfiction books. Stop hanging with friends who only want to drink and smoke. No buying that new car or those clothes you can't afford. Everyone's going to look at you and think you are the loser driving that 99 beater and wearing clothes from Goodwill.

In TMF MJ talked about how he had 2 business degrees while he had trouble dating, was working minimum wage jobs and all of his friends had nice cubicle jobs with salaries.

The real question is are you willing to be a loser to achieve your dreams?
I undestand. Yes I will become a loser only to achieve my dreams!
I must get into the right motivation, many days I lost motivation and I didn't do nothing. Being tired of this that's why I understood I must change my life.
 

Ninjakid

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Stop doing the things which you hate yourself for, and never look back. Start only doing the things that winners do.

That's how I changed my own life. I thought I had to 'figure myself out" and wondered why I only kept going around in circles. My life changed when I put my ego and my expectations aside, and started doing the things I knew were good for me.
 

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Tiago

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Thanks man this is true. I'm "lucky" and I love my family.

The problem I'm not even at 40% of my studies and I need more and more time to finsh college.

So I must make a decision now : keep studying my a** off or dropout , get any job and save money for business.

I'm tired of being stuck, I have to make a decision, I know it 's not easy , but an entrereneur told me better make a decision than none.
Why do you have to choose between one and the other?

We humans have this tendency of it's either option A or option B. What might happen to you if you choose the route of both A AND B?

Loving you,
Tiago
 

Gunther Herzog

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Apr 22, 2018
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Dear Alex, First I welcome you to the legendary Fastlane forum. Please Introduce yourself here, I would love to hear more about your story. To register in this Forum, be active and contribute is a good first step from stop being a loser to becoming a successful person.

Any advice? Is there anyone here that had the same experience like me in the past?
Stop giving the responsibility away and start taking responsibility! Stop being a victim.
You messed it up. Harsh, yes. But if you are the problem, who is the solution?

YOU are the solution!
In Other words: You have all the power.
So stop being a poor little boy and start take action. Massive Action!


Do those three things and you will fly:

1.)EDUCATE yourself about success.
Dive deep into self-help, personal-development literature and learn the necessary knowledge for your space. (Please only consume from authors with a high credility!)

2.)SURROUND yourself with LIKE MINDED PEOPLE.
Jim Rohn said it best: <You are the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with>. Who are your big 5? Are they what you want to be?

3.)Take HUGE, RELENTLESS, MASSIVE ACTION.
... until you have reached your goals and dreams.
Thats it. That is enough. Go now!
Go make your dream a reality!
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Stop doing the things which you hate yourself for, and never look back. Start only doing the things that winners do.

That's how I changed my own life. I thought I had to 'figure myself out" and wondered why I only kept going around in circles. My life changed when I put my ego and my expectations aside, and started doing the things I knew were good for me.
Thanks!! I want to be a winner from this day!!
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Why do you have to choose between one and the other?

We humans have this tendency of it's either option A or option B. What might happen to you if you choose the route of both A AND B?

Loving you,
Tiago
Thanks man! What do you mean? Like keep studying and working to save money while setting up a business?
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Dear Alex, First I welcome you to the legendary Fastlane forum. Please Introduce yourself here, I would love to hear more about your story. To register in this Forum, be active and contribute is a good first step from stop being a loser to becoming a successful person.


Stop giving the responsibility away and start taking responsibility! Stop being a victim.
You messed it up. Harsh, yes. But if you are the problem, who is the solution?

YOU are the solution!
In Other words: You have all the power.
So stop being a poor little boy and start take action. Massive Action!


Do those three things and you will fly:

1.)EDUCATE yourself about success.
Dive deep into self-help, personal-development literature and learn the necessary knowledge for your space. (Please only consume from authors with a high credility!)

2.)SURROUND yourself with LIKE MINDED PEOPLE.
Jim Rohn said it best: <You are the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with>. Who are your big 5? Are they what you want to be?

3.)Take HUGE, RELENTLESS, MASSIVE ACTION.
... until you have reached your goals and dreams.
Thats it. That is enough. Go now!
Go make your dream a reality!
Thanks a lot!! This forum is god's send!

I have to make a decision and stick to it and be a winner, no more losing or being stuck.
 

Tiago

Silver Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Mar 22, 2014
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Thanks man! What do you mean? Like keep studying and working to save money while setting up a business?
I don't want to go and give you advice, because you're the expert in your own situation. I just want to present you the possibility of doing both, studying/working and also setting up a business. It doesn't have to be either/or, it can be both/and.
 

The-J

Legendary Contributor
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I don't want to look like a desperate guy but I know I want to CHANGE my life and stop all the BS I've told myself in the last years of my life. I want to start WINNING and stop losing.

I still feel like my mind worked against me so I couldn't be able to reach any goal yet.

Any advice? Is there anyone here that had the same experience like me in the past?
Then start winning.

You know what would be a 'win'? Changing your major to something you want to study + finishing it with honors.

Another 'win': spending more time with people who have done what you want to do, rather than your friends who drink + party all the time. (Don't stop partying altogether, though)

Another 'win': reading the books that will get you closer to your goals.

Another 'win': helping someone out with something. Switching your mindset from 'taker' to 'giver'. 'Consumer' to 'producer'. Winners give generously.

Another 'win': forming a habit on the power of your discipline alone. Do you work out? If you don't, start doing that. Do you have a set time for yourself to read? If not, then set aside time specifically for reading. Do you wake up at the same time every day? If not, start doing that (doesn't have to be early, just consistent!)

Success begets success, and there are psychological reasons for it which I won't go into. If you win at enough things, in a row, then you start to believe that you can win at anything.
 

Rafael_PL

Contributor
Jun 19, 2017
19
25
25
25
Wrocław, Poland
You waste 3 years of your life, because of hanging out and you call yourself a loser? Do you want to read a story of a real loser? So, here it is.

Imagine a guy in his early 20's who has depression and social anxiety (yes, something like this really exsists). Someone who has literally no friends, no sexual experience and no job. He is even not able to go out to drink beer with friends.

This short story is an image of me two years ago. Thinking about suicide. Right now I'm 24, and I'm at second year of computer science. Working as software developer in big company, start my own web business. Have a lot of friends.

Stop fuc***g complaining man and take massive action to change your situation. Do what you can do right now to finish your studies. Find purpose.

Be conscious that, there might be someone who event doesn't have what you have. You know, how many tries I need to go out for the first time with someone? 87 man. I need ask other people 87 times until I've heard "yes".

One more time, stop complaining, find motivation and work hard as hell.
 

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Last edited:

luniac

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I have to stick to good habits. I don't have focus for anything neither for studying hard.
Do you have any advice ? Is there any good App I can use to stick to my habits without losing focus?

I've tried to wake up at 6am everyday but I didn't stick.
Sometimes I go to bed late, didn't do nothing at all in the day, lost motivation and keep being stuck. I'm tired of this that's why I must change.
I've struggled myself with sticking to good habits and avoiding distractions.
best I can say is take it one habit at a time, and slow down ur life a bit, physically and mentally.
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Then start winning.

You know what would be a 'win'? Changing your major to something you want to study + finishing it with honors.

Another 'win': spending more time with people who have done what you want to do, rather than your friends who drink + party all the time. (Don't stop partying altogether, though)

Another 'win': reading the books that will get you closer to your goals.

Another 'win': helping someone out with something. Switching your mindset from 'taker' to 'giver'. 'Consumer' to 'producer'. Winners give generously.

Another 'win': forming a habit on the power of your discipline alone. Do you work out? If you don't, start doing that. Do you have a set time for yourself to read? If not, then set aside time specifically for reading. Do you wake up at the same time every day? If not, start doing that (doesn't have to be early, just consistent!)

Success begets success, and there are psychological reasons for it which I won't go into. If you win at enough things, in a row, then you start to believe that you can win at anything.
THanks for the gold advices!

The major 's problem is that I feel like I'm still undecided of what to do next.

I don't want to dissapoint my family, they paid for my studies and I want to help them in return!!

Don't know if it's better to finish (I've realized I'm hating my degree now) or switch to something better ( parents won't help me they will be dissapointed with me).

That's why it's so important now for me to stick to one path. Do or not do.
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
You waste 3 years of your life, because of hanging out and you call yourself a loser? Do you want to read a story of a real loser? So, here it is.

Imagine a guy in his early 20's who has depression and social anxiety (yes, something like this really exsists). Someone who has literally no friends, no sexual experience and no job. He is even not able to go out to drink beer with friends.

This short story is an image of me two years ago. Thinking about suicide. Right now I'm 24, and I'm at second year of computer science. Working as software developer in big company, start my own web business. Have a lot of friends.

Stop fuc***g complaining man and take massive action to change your situation. Do what you can do right now to finish your studies. Find purpose.

Be conscious that, there might be someone who event doesn't have what you have. You know, how many tries I need to go out for the first time with someone? 87 man. I need ask other people 87 times until I've heard "yes".

One more time, stop complaining, find motivation and work hard as hell.
That's motivating man!

How did you find again your main purpose? I feel lost, actually I'm studying the same like you but it's so confusing.

I don't want to give up because the studies are hard, but I feel like I hate my degree and don't have the motivation to keep studying hard.
 

Rafael_PL

Contributor
Jun 19, 2017
19
25
25
25
Wrocław, Poland
That's motivating man!

How did you find again your main purpose? I feel lost, actually I'm studying the same like you but it's so confusing.

I don't want to give up because the studies are hard, but I feel like I hate my degree and don't have the motivation to keep studying hard.
That was easy, just wanted to change my current situation. I see every other and they have normal life. I asked myself: "Why you can't do this same?". Found resources like YT videos by Owen from RSD (really appreciate his content) or books e.g. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Then execute.

If you don't interested in studies and you think that you can do what you want without them - just do it.
 

DavidIonesi

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I've tried to wake up at 6am everyday but I didn't stick.
My personal sugestion is that you start sticking to that if it's what you want. If you can't even wake up at your own volition how are you going to manage a business? Don't get me wrong, I have the same issues that you're having, bassic discipline only different circumstances.
 

GoGetter24

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A loser for a whole 3 years?
Rookie.
Amen. At least you know you're a loser, OP. So you can fix it. Most losers don't even know it.

The problem I'm not even at 40% of my studies and I need more and more time to finsh college.

So I must make a decision now : keep studying my a** off or dropout , get any job and save money for business.
Drop it. If you've spent 3 years and haven't even reached 40%, that means the total loss will be 8 years. Save those 5 years. Find an in-demand trade. Get a sales job. Anything except further wallowing.

Is there any good App I can use to stick to my habits without losing focus?
1. Focus is the primary attribute of a winner. It is so difficult to maintain focus; it must be worked on. If you have to scream at yourself "focus you piece of s!@#!" every time you drift off, do it.
2. Do not abdicate responsibility. Don't even dare think of apps, services, blogs, or websites to help you do basic things.
 
OP
OP
A

Alexx

Contributor
May 5, 2018
39
23
41
Amen. At least you know you're a loser, OP. So you can fix it. Most losers don't even know it.


Drop it. If you've spent 3 years and haven't even reached 40%, that means the total loss will be 8 years. Save those 5 years. Find an in-demand trade. Get a sales job. Anything except further wallowing.


1. Focus is the primary attribute of a winner. It is so difficult to maintain focus; it must be worked on. If you have to scream at yourself "focus you piece of s!@#!" every time you drift off, do it.
2. Do not abdicate responsibility. Don't even dare think of apps, services, blogs, or websites to help you do basic things.
THanks for this one!

I've read many blogs and used many apps but I know now it depends all on me, I wasted lot of time reading no sense.

If I dropout the only thing is I will feel bad because my parents paied for my studies and they will lose money.

But if I start doing something I'm really interested in, I can get good at it and make money so I can help my parents giving them back for their help!

What do you mean ? A trade like electrician? I'd like to get experience in sales or marketing first.

For sales you advice to get any sales job?
 

Late Bloomer

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Hi Alexx! Is that actually your first name spelled with two x's?

After reading MJ's book, I've realized many things about my life.
You could put your review into the book review thread, which would make the "I've read..." badge show up.

My parents don't know nothing about this situation. They always helped me and paid for my studies.
I don't know if you have a legal obligation about this, but it seems that ethically, if they covered the bills in good faith for you to get your degree, it would be honorable and decent for you to complete that degree.
OR, to come clean with them about your total disinterest in doing so... and making a payment plan with them, to reimburse what they thought they were paying for, but didn't have a way to realize wasn't on your agenda for yourself!

It's hard to imagine any kind of Fastlane job or business in which you'd say, "Damn, I wish I didn't know so much about technology from that university education! If only I couldn't relate to people I hire and sell to, on the basis that I'm also a college graduate! How I wish I was unemployable because I didn't finish my degree! It sure sucks that I could get a regular job for a while, if I ever wanted to do that!"

I still feel like my mind worked against me so I couldn't be able to reach any goal yet.
You're right that this is super important to sort out. Fortunately, if you can do so within the next few years, you'll probably get to enjoy another half century or more after that with an uncluttered brain! Hooray for an early start!
 

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