Indian saying "Hello"

[degreeoffreedom]

42 year old Indian saying “Hello” to the fellow Fastlaners.

This “Intro” is going to be a bit of a rant and ramble. However, if you have been scammed for two and a half decades in life, there's a every bit of frustration that needs to be released.

My dad came from an entrepreneurial family. Naturally, when I grew up, I saw what it meant to run a business. Having said that, my dad was living in sidewalk. His business was doing good, but he was splurging the money – way too much spending, keeping up with Patels, car, jewellery and flashy things. Savings and investments were not his thoughts.

Things started going south. From living in a great house with car and getting things whatever we could get, I was around 11 or 12 I think, I remember everything was gone and the whole family had to move to my uncle's home. My dad was unemployed for a long time. My naivete mum assumed that business is not a stable endeavour (not realising it's their sidewalk lifestyle that contributed to the downfall), she decided to indoctrinate me and my sister to stay away from it. And so a slow lane SCRIPT was set: to study, get good grades in school, college and become an employee.

I followed it to a T. I was naturally good at school. Usually ranking among top 10% in the class....until 17. Things started to turn when the society started placing a huge amount of expectation on me. The end of high school meant you have to get into the top college. Scoring high at the year end exams!

• “You need to score big.”
• “Your family's future depends on you.”
• “See you how your (neighbour/classmate/cousin) has scored in the exams and went to university X, he will be recruited at company Y for a salary Z. His life is settled now”
• “You have to be in the top 10% among the state to win a scholarship. Make sure to get that because your parents cannot fund your tuition fee.”

Nothing wrong will reminding about responsibilities. However.....

• the anxiety...
• the expectations...
• the constant comparisons...
• the reminders...

Combined that with tragic death of my close cousin led me to totally bomb the exam. Engineering was a goner. Still I managed reasonably well to get a degree in Chemistry.....and then went on an degree-acquiring spree – Master's and PhD followed by a independent research training (called postdoc) – all outside the country.

Except that when I came out of the system, nobody cared!

“Hey, I have followed and done whatever I am supposed to do, where are the benefits that were promised?”

I was not asking for six-figures, penthouse in mid-Manhattan, bikini clad babes and lambo, I was expecting a decent middle class life!

“To hell with academia, I go to the real world - companies will wine and dine me.”

At the ripe age of 36, I got the job in the pharmaceutical industry. While I have been okay doing working 50-70 hours work week, reality came crashing down with the company's ridiculous policies that are eerily similar to the prison cells.

• You have to be at work by 8.30. Punching the card a minute or two late means we will dock your salary.
• You have to stay till 6.30 pm no matter what – even if you complete that day's work well ahead of time.
• Cannot question inefficient SoPs
• Have to sit through all comatose meetings, even they are not relevant to you or your department
• My manager was a good guy. But his boss (and our department head) was a total “my way or highway” jerk.

My morning routine was to wake up at 6.00, get ready and be out at 7.00 to go through the ridiculous traffic to be at office before 8.30. Then do the reverse at 6.30 in the evening. I was totally exhausted when I reached home by 8.00 at night. And repeat that cycle through the whole week......(sounds familiar?)

It was during one allotted lunch time that I thought there had to be a way out ….....and somehow I ended at The Millionaire Fastlane . (This was 2016 - Unscripted wasn't written yet.) I read it and can identify my side walking family and my present slow lane life. However, just like many readers, I did not know what to do with that information. I did not visit the forum. I went back to the slow lane life because of the pay-check comfort.

I was let go a year later after “performance reviews”.

2017 and mid-2018 were the roughest of my life. I was still applying for jobs in the slow lane world, but wasn't getting any out of it.

“Why are companies not wanting me? They said they value PhD and experience, don't they?”

I was also married (didn't I say I was following the SCRIPT?) and draining my savings. Everyday I would sit and apply to positions with a resume and cover letter. No interviews, let alone a job offer. Staying at home made me depressed, and the burden of running the family fell on my wife. She was employed in a slow lane job. My marriage started to deteriorate – while my unemployment wasn't a main reason for its failure, it definitely contributed to it.

We applied for divorce.

The worst part came in early 2018. I have had to undergo a small surgery that was not covered by insurance. I paid out of pocket and was left with $400 in my account. At that time a journal publishing company was asking me if I would review new scientists' research that are to be published in that journal.

I agreed for.....$50 per article.

When you made zero for past 15 months, you'd take that. $50 is worth four or five breakfasts, damn it!

• 1 article in February ($50)
• 4 in March ($200)
• 8 in April ($400)
• 10 in June ($600, increase to $60/article)
• 10 in July ($700, increase to $70/article)

And then the divorce!

That my fellow Fastlaners was my FTE (didn't know it at that time).

I remembered TMF . I visited the forum.

"Oh, MJ's written a new book?"

Because TMF resonated with me, I downloaded the free chapters of UNSCRIPTED .

Read the first few chapters and I slumped on my chair. I was a voluntary participant in a rigged game, I played it again and again, hoping I would win.

The same night I bought the whole book on Kindle and read it through the whole night

Suddenly it clicked …...

• “Your PhD means nothing. I repeat nothing. Yes, it is going to hurt your ego, but it is the truth.”
• “Leave out your f*cked up entitlement and be ready to do a menial job, if required.”
• “Offer value to the market, you will get money in return.”
• “Nothing in life is given to you, you have to earn it.”
• “It okay to do this article thing - trading time for money – and it is temporary – because you need some cash first to pay bills, and live under a roof.”
• “I will save up the rest.”

I had no debts. The marriage collapsed before having kids. My ex-wife did not demand alimony (bless her).

"I will do this job far better than other “freelancers.”"

My rates increased and I have been doing it full time since October 2018. I hit $1500 from that month till now. Not a big money and it is below poverty line. Heck, still better than being on Zero or whining about "unfairness"

Yes, trading time for money, but you know what, I am much happier. In one of the local meetups, I met up with some young entrepreneurs who were into location independent businesses operating from LatAm & SE Asia. Not the-sit-by-the-beach-and-work- from-hammock fantasy, But real work and offering value to businesses. Because my freelance job was also location independent, I made a plan that I would not have dared in my life.

I saved up that 6 months worth money and took a flight to …..........where it is cheaper to live!

When I mentioned my plan. The responses from the SCRIPT were:

• “What are you going to do there?”
• “You can't speak the language.”
• “Why would you leave this “advanced Western country” and move to the “third-world”?” (As though living in the West means some badge of honour)
• "You're going to fail" (uttered by one of the friends that was very “concerned”)
• “This is risky. You have never run a business.”
• “Dude, you're not young anymore. Those American entrepreneurs are young and can afford to take risks.”
• “Get a job and create a stable career.”

I ignored every bit of them. I have followed what was told and got nothing in return.

Why not do the opposite, live authentic to myself? Offer value to business and get paid for it - living on your own terms. It's been only a week here and am happier and enjoying the freedom. I already met up with a small business owner. He's opening a premium coffee shop next Sunday. As soon as I heard it, I volunteered to help him.

I don't know how. It could be:

• A website...
• Google adwords...
• Social media marketing....
• …...

(Hint: I do not know any of these.)

"Launch & Learn" – a wise man on the forum once said! @Andy Black.

{Damn, scratch all that. I'll distribute fliers down the road if that helps him get customers.}

For all I care now is to help his business succeed!

Thanks @MJ DeMarco!

 

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[Andy Black]

42 year old Indian saying “Hello” to the fellow Fastlaners.

This “Intro” is going to be a bit of a rant and ramble. However, if you have been scammed for two and a half decades in life, there's a every bit of frustration that needs to be released.

My dad came from a entrepreneurial family. Naturally, when I grew up, I saw what it meant to run a business. Having said that, my dad was living in sidewalk. His business was doing good, but he was splurging the money – way too much spending, keeping up with Patels, car, jewellery and flashy things. Savings and investments were not his thoughts.

Things started going south. From living in a great house with car and getting things whatever we could get, I was around 11 or 12 I think, I remember everything was gone and the whole family had to move to my uncle's home. My dad was unemployed for a long time. My naivete mum assumed that business is not a stable endeavour (not realising it's their sidewalk lifestyle that contributed to the downfall), she decided to indoctrinate me and my sister to stay away from it. And so a slow lane SCRIPT was set: to study, get good grades in school, college and become an employee.

I followed it to a T. I was naturally good at school. Usually ranking among top 10% in the class....until 17. Things started to turn when the society started placing a huge amount of expectation on me. The end of high school meant you have to get into the top college. Scoring high at the year end exams!

• “You need to score big.”
• “Your family's future depends on you.”
• “See you how your (neighbour/classmate/cousin) has scored in the exams and went to university X, he will be recruited at company Y for a salary Z. His life is settled now”
• “You have to be in the top 10% among the state to win a scholarship. Make sure to get that because your parents cannot fund your tuition fee.”

Nothing wrong will reminding about responsibilities. However.....

• the anxiety...
• the expectations...
• the constant comparisons...
• the reminders...

Combined that with tragic death of my close cousin led me to totally bomb the exam. Engineering was a goner. Still I managed reasonably well to get a degree in Chemistry.....and then went on an degree-acquiring spree – Master's and PhD followed by a independent research training (called postdoc) – all outside the country.

Except that when I came out of the system, nobody cared!

“Hey, I have followed and done whatever I am supposed to do, where are the benefits that were promised?”

I was not asking for six-figures, penthouse in mid-Manhattan, bikini clad babes and lambo, I was expecting a decent middle class life!

“To hell with academia, I go to the real world - companies will wine and dine me.”

At the ripe age of 36, I got the job in the pharmaceutical industry. While I have been okay doing working 50-70 hours work week, reality came crashing down with the company's ridiculous policies that are eerily similar to the prison cells.

• You have to be at work by 8.30. Punching the card a minute or two late means we will dock your salary.
• You have to stay till 6.30 pm no matter what – even if you complete that day's work well ahead of time.
• Cannot question inefficient SoPs
• Have to sit through all comatose meetings, even they are not relevant to you or your department
• My manager was a good guy. But his boss (and our department head) was a total “my way or highway” jerk.

My morning routine was to wake up at 6.00, get ready and be out at 7.00 to go through the ridiculous traffic to be at office before 8.30. Then do the reverse at 6.30 in the evening. I was totally exhausted when I reached home by 8.00 at night. And repeat that cycle through the whole week......(sounds familiar?)

It was during one allotted lunch time that I thought there had to be a way out ….....and somehow I ended at The Millionaire Fastlane . (This was 2016 - Unscripted wasn't written yet.) I read it and can identify my side walking family and my present slow lane life. However, just like many readers, I did not know what to do with that information. I did not visit the forum. I went back to the slow lane life because of the pay-check comfort.

I was let go a year later after “performance reviews”.

2017 and mid-2018 were the roughest of my life. I was still applying for jobs in the slow lane world, but wasn't getting any out of it.

“Why are companies not wanting me? They said they value PhD and experience, don't they?”

I was also married (didn't I say I was following the SCRIPT?) and draining my savings. Everyday I would sit and apply to positions with a resume and cover letter. No interviews, let alone a job offer. Staying at home made me depressed, and the burden of running the family fell on my wife. She was employed in a slow lane job. My marriage started to deteriorate – while my unemployment wasn't a main reason for its failure, it definitely contributed to it.

We applied for divorce.

The worst part came in early 2018. I have had to undergo a small surgery and didn't have enough money for insurance cover. I paid out of pocket and was left with $400 in my account. At that time a journal publishing company was asking me if I would review new scientists' research that are to be published in that journal.

I agreed for.....$50 per article.

When you made zero for past 15 months, you'd take that. $50 is worth four or five breakfasts, damn it!

• 1 article in February ($50)
• 4 in March ($200)
• 8 in April ($400)
• 10 in June ($600, increase to $60/article)
• 10 in July ($700, increase to $70/article)

And then the divorce!

That my fellow Fastlaners was my FTE (didn't know it at that time).

I remembered TMF . I visited the forum.

"Oh, MJ's written a new book?"

Because TMF resonated with me, I downloaded the free chapters of UNSCRIPTED .

Read the first few chapters and I slumped on my chair. I was a voluntary participant in a rigged game, I played it again and again , hoping I would win.

The same night I bought the whole book on Kindle and read it through the whole night

Suddenly it clicked …...

• “Your PhD means nothing. I repeat nothing. Yes, it is going to hurt your ego, but it is the truth.”
• “Leave out your f*cked up entitlement and be ready to do a menial job, if required.”
• “Offer value to the market, you will get money in return.”
• “Nothing in life is given to you, you have to earn it.”
• “It okay to do this article thing - trading time for money – and it is temporary – because you need some cash first to pay bills, and live under a roof.”
• “I will save up the rest.”

I had no debts. The marriage collapsed before having kids. My ex-wife did not demand alimony (bless her).

"I will do this job far better than other “freelancers.”"

My rates increased and I have been doing it full time since October 2018. I hit $2000 from that month till now. Not a big money and it is below poverty line. Heck, still better than being on Zero, whining about "unfairness"

Still trading time for money, but you know what, I am much happier. In one of the meetups, I met with up with some young entrepreneurs who were into location independent businesses operating from LatAm & SE Asia. Not the-sit-by-the-beach-and-work- from-hammock fantasy, But real work and offering value to businesses. Because my freelance job was also location independent, I made a plan that I would not have dared in my life.

I saved up that 6 months worth money and took a flight to …..........where it is cheaper to live!

When I mentioned my plan. The responses from the SCRIPT were:

• “What are going to do there?”
• “You can't speak the language.”
• “Why would you leave this “advanced Western country” and move to the “third-word”?” (As though living in the West means some badge of honour)
• "You're going to fail" (uttered by one of the friends that was very “concerned”)
• “This is risky. You have never run a business.”
• “Dude, you're not young anymore. Those American entrepreneurs are young and can afford to take risks.”
• “Get a job and create a stable career.”

I ignored every bit of them. I have followed what was told and got nothing in return.

Why not do the opposite, live authentic to myself. Offer value to business and get paid for it - living in your own terms. It's been only a week here and am happier and enjoying the freedom. I already met up with a small business owner. He's opening a premium coffee shop next Sunday. As soon as I heard it, I volunteered to help him.

I don't know how. It could be:

• A website...
• Google adwords...
• Social media marketing....
• …...

(Hint: I do not know any of these.)

"Launch & Learn" – a wise man on the forum once said! @Andy Black.

{Damn, scratch all that. I'll distribute fliers down the road if that helps him get customers.}

For all I care now is to help his business succeed!

Thanks @MJ DeMarco!

Welcome. That was some read. You write well. Sorry to hear about the marriage, but good to hear you’ve broken free of the script.

 

[degreeoffreedom]

Thanks @Andy Black. I am humbled!

 

[VIVEKSINGHJADONS]

Welcome to the forum buddy. I can resonate with your feeling about the script that most of us have to face in our lives as we grown up in the same country.

 

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[degreeoffreedom]

Thanks man! A lot of things have to do with how our society (and culture) places the emphasis on "success", comparison, consumption, no tolerance for failure, advice from elders is always right and not on living authentically and staying true to yourself.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Wow, what a story.

Welcome my friend.

 

[degreeoffreedom]

Wow, what a story.

Welcome my friend.

Thank you, MJ!

 

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