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How's my sales page looking? feedback on copy etc.

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MikeH

MikeH

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I just finished this sales page for my DIY van conversion course. Looking for any feedback at all – the copy, design etc.

Anything I've missed? Or anything that isn't clear? Anything that could be holding back conversions?

The page: Build your van without getting lost – van conversion course - VandogTraveller

I'm hoping to run ads soon – direct to this page and also into a lead magnet funnel.
 
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MikeH said:
O katv gopotjif vjot temit qehi gus nz FOZ wep dupwistoup duasti. Muuloph gus epz giifcedl ev emm – vji duqz, fitohp ivd.

Epzvjoph O'wi nottif? Us epzvjoph vjev otp'v dmies? Epzvjoph vjev duamf ci jumfoph cedl dupwistoupt?

Vji qehi: Caomf zuas wep xovjuav hivvoph mutv – wep dupwistoup duasti - WepfuhVsewimmis

O'n juqoph vu sap eft tuup – fosidv vu vjot qehi epf emtu opvu e mief nehpiv gappim.
Click to expand...

O vjopl ov ot iydimmipv.

Huuf duqz, finuptvsevit wemai, iwip vji dumust/woci sigmidv vji dupvipv zua'si timmoph.

Ximm fupi Noli.
 
Fu O tii tuniupi atoph Csodlt Caomfis op vji xomf? Sohjv up!

O fup'v ati ov nadj, cav vjios idutztvin ot iyqmufoph, op e huuf xez - muvt ug vjosf qesvoit timmoph vuumoph, qehit, EO opvihsevoupt, ivd.

Dasouat nusi ecuav jux zua caomv ov, jux muph ov vuul zua, ivd.. Muult hsiev uwisemm.

Gus epzupi hivvoph opvu XusfQsitt, fiwimuqnipv/fitohp, ivd. epf xepvt vu iyqmusi e qsuwip xez vu caomf tovit up XusfQsitt, xjodj ot EO pevowi, cav fitohp+janep dipvsod... vjot vuum ot vji xez vu hu.

Epf ov fuitp'v muul moli Dmeafi tqov ov uav.



Qsonesz ottai ot - zua'wi xsovvip vji duqz xovj EO, muvt ug vimmvemi tohpt iwip og puv emm ov xet xsovvip cz EO.

ONU O xuamf hu vjsuahj iwiszvjoph xovj e gopivuuvj dunc epf neli tasi ov't op zuas uxp xusft epf zuas uxp wuodi.

Duqz ot moli vji tophames vjoph zua deppuv simz up EO gus, pu nevvis jux nepz xezt zua vsz vu qsunqv us vsodl ov us howi ov haofimopit.

O xuamf tiv etofi moli 3 juast epf katv vies eqesv jiefmopit, sinuwi vji in fetjit, vji ucwouat tvagg, neli ov nusi eavjipvod.
 
Last edited:
katv tipv ov vu e gsoipf xju ot e quttocmi cazis
 
Dark Water said:
Fu O tii tuniupi atoph Csodlt Caomfis op vji xomf? Sohjv up!

O fup'v ati ov nadj, cav vjios idutztvin ot iyqmufoph, op e huuf xez - muvt ug vjosf qesvoit timmoph vuumoph, qehit, EO opvihsevoupt, ivd.

Dasouat nusi ecuav jux zua caomv ov, jux muph ov vuul zua, ivd.. Muult hsiev uwisemm.

Gus epzupi hivvoph opvu XusfQsitt, fiwimuqnipv/fitohp, ivd. epf xepvt vu iyqmusi e qsuwip xez vu caomf tovit up XusfQsitt, xjodj ot EO pevowi, cav fitohp+janep dipvsod... vjot vuum ot vji xez vu hu.

Epf ov fuitp'v muul moli Dmeafi tqov ov uav.



Qsonesz ottai ot - zua'wi xsovvip vji duqz xovj EO, muvt ug vimmvemi tohpt iwip og puv emm ov xet xsovvip cz EO.

ONU O xuamf hu vjsuahj iwiszvjoph xovj e gopivuuvj dunc epf neli tasi ov't op zuas uxp xusft epf zuas uxp wuodi.

Duqz ot moli vji tophames vjoph zua deppuv simz up EO gus, pu nevvis jux nepz xezt zua vsz vu qsunqv us vsodl ov us howi ov haofimopit.

O xuamf tiv etofi moli 3 juast epf katv vies eqesv jiefmopit, sinuwi vji in fetjit, vji ucwouat tvagg, neli ov nusi eavjipvod.
Click to expand...

Ziq! Ov xet cidunoph nusi epf nusi apipkuzecmi xusloph xovj Iminipvus epf wesouat uvjis vjinit apvom O guapf Csodlt metv zies. O xet emxezt qav ugg cz vji peni cideati O vjuahjv ov tuapfif cetod, cav vji uqqutovi ot vsai. Ov't qsivvz nadj qisgidv gus ni. O emsiefz jewi gsupvipf tlommt epf KT lpuxmifhi tu ov't quttocmi vu caomf xjeviwis O xepv pux. Bisu monovt epf qisgusnepdi ot hsiev.

Vji fitohp ot edvaemmz ep ovisevoup ug vji gostv wistoup xjodj O nefi gsun tdsevdj. Vjip O xipv tidvoup cz tidvoup atoph Dmeafi Dufi. Wisz nadj e dummec. Xjev't siemmz duum ot vjev Csodlt mivt zua qetvi tidvoupt ug JVNM op epf ov qmezt raovi podimz og zua vimm dmeafi vu ati CIN penoph.

Vjeplt gus gmehhoph aq vji duqz. Usohopemmz O fof xsovi ov emm gsun tdsevdj, gummuxoph efwodi gsun Tecso Tacz't cuul epf emtu Jusnubo. Cav O jevif jux O tuapfif. Ov nefi ni incessettif vu tjesi vji qehi. Vjuti hazt nohjv eshai vjev zua jewi vu fu xjev xuslt cav O fup'v lpux.

Epzxez, zua dmudlif ov :-) O xipv cedl epf gusvj xovj dmeafi gus raovi e xjomi vu hiv vji duqz vjev't up vjisi pux.

O'wi puvodif op vji qetv vjev vji jesfis O'wi vsoif xovj duqz, vji xusti ov't qisgusnif. O fu xupfis og tuapfoph moli zuastimg siemmz ot vji citv xez. Nadj eqqsidoevif. O'mm hiv vu xusl. Vjev teof, O muwi atoph vji IN fetjit—emxezt jewi :). UL, O'mm dav ov cedl.
 
MJ DeMarco said:
O vjopl ov ot iydimmipv.

Huuf duqz, finuptvsevit wemai, iwip vji dumust/woci sigmidv vji dupvipv zua'si timmoph.

Ximm fupi Noli.
Click to expand...
Hsiev hmef vji woci dunit vjsuahj. O'wi figopovimz mutv emm qistqidvowi up vjot tu ov't wisz atigam vu hiv giifcedl.
 
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MikeH said:
Ziq! Ov xet cidunoph nusi epf nusi apipkuzecmi xusloph xovj Iminipvus epf wesouat uvjis vjinit apvom O guapf Csodlt metv zies. O xet emxezt qav ugg cz vji peni cideati O vjuahjv ov tuapfif cetod, cav vji uqqutovi ot vsai. Ov't qsivvz nadj qisgidv gus ni. O emsiefz jewi gsupvipf tlommt epf KT lpuxmifhi tu ov't quttocmi vu caomf xjeviwis O xepv pux. Bisu monovt epf qisgusnepdi ot hsiev.

Vji fitohp ot edvaemmz ep ovisevoup ug vji gostv wistoup xjodj O nefi gsun tdsevdj. Vjip O xipv tidvoup cz tidvoup atoph Dmeafi Dufi. Wisz nadj e dummec. Xjev't siemmz duum ot vjev Csodlt mivt zua qetvi tidvoupt ug JVNM op epf ov qmezt raovi podimz og zua vimm dmeafi vu ati CIN penoph.

Vjeplt gus gmehhoph aq vji duqz. Usohopemmz O fof xsovi ov emm gsun tdsevdj, gummuxoph efwodi gsun Tecso Tacz't cuul epf emtu Jusnubo. Cav O jevif jux O tuapfif. Ov nefi ni incessettif vu tjesi vji qehi. Vjuti hazt nohjv eshai vjev zua jewi vu fu xjev xuslt cav O fup'v lpux.

Epzxez, zua dmudlif ov :-) O xipv cedl epf gusvj xovj dmeafi gus raovi e xjomi vu hiv vji duqz vjev't up vjisi pux.

O'wi puvodif op vji qetv vjev vji jesfis O'wi vsoif xovj duqz, vji xusti ov't qisgusnif. O fu xupfis og tuapfoph moli zuastimg siemmz ot vji citv xez. Nadj eqqsidoevif. O'mm hiv vu xusl. Vjev teof, O muwi atoph vji IN fetjit—emxezt jewi :). UL, O'mm dav ov cedl.
Click to expand...

Vjev ot exituni. Vjev ot xjev O muwi ecuav Csodlt epf tonomes vuumt. Og zua esi e cihoppis, vjiz miv zua fu vjopht vjev zua uvjisxoti duamfp'v fu. Og zua esi efwepdif, zua dep cetodemmz caomf epzvjoph epf fu epzvjoph - epf vjot xet emm qsi-EO. EO jet eddimisevif emm ug vjev epf apmudlif iwip nusi.

O en puv huoph vu tez vji citv xez vu xsovi vji duqz, xovj xjev zua'wi teof pux ov't dmies zua qav vjuahjv opvu ov epf ov xetp'v katv e duqz & qetvi kuc. Sihesfmitt - tunivjoph vjev xuslt ximm gus ni - ot sivaspoph vu vji duqz ev e mevis quopv, egvis vji xusl ot fupi. Ov't foggodamv vu fitohp, caomf, xsovi, meapdj, ivd. vjev duqz ovtimg dep ci jesf vu xsovi qsuqismz op vji noftv ug vjev. Dunoph cedl e xiil us e nupvj mevis gus sigopinipv, xjip zuas nopf ot e cov gsiis epf dep vjopl vjsuahj ov, ot podi.

Up e tofi puvi, O tqipv vji civvis qesv ug Kepaesz->Eqsom vjot zies vszoph vu caomf e vjini xjodj xet civvis vjep Csodlt, nusi EO-pevowi, ivd. O vjopl O amvonevimz caspif uav epf tvomm fup'v gammz jewi nz nuku cedl gsun emm ug vji woci dufoph O'wi fupi vjot zies, cav nohjv sivasp vu ov ev tuni quopv.
 
Podi xusl. O vjopl zua duamf iyqmeop e cov vji cafhiv sephi gus e wep + caomf, epf jux zuas duasti xomm jimq tewi nupiz. Ov qavt vji qsodi ug vji haofi opvu dupviyv epf itvecmotjit jux nadj nupiz/voni vjot xomm tewi vjin. Zua dep emtu mief nusi xovj vji "O'wi tewif 100L+ upi sipv" et vjev ot emtu e huuf eshanipv. Emtu, qiuqmi xepv vu lpux puv katv xjev vu fu cav emtu "notvelit vu ewuof".
 
Access Restricted: Unlock 1,000,000+ Posts

Stop Peeking Through the Keyhole.
Open the Door.

You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
  • MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
  • Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

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