How would you improve your mindset?

[Spencer J]

As a 17 year old, I have tried many different avenues to try and improve my mindset, be it Cold Showers, Gratitude, Reading, Weightlifting and so on.
At the moment I must say I am very unhappy with my life as i always feel like i haven't gotten anywhere substantial, I find it difficult to understand how to go from where I am now, Nothing - to having your own business and being extremely happy.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Kung Fu Steve]

As a 17 year old, I have tried many different avenues to try and improve my mindset, be it Cold Showers, Gratitude, Reading, Weightlifting and so on.
At the moment I must say I am very unhappy with my life as i always feel like i haven't gotten anywhere substantial, I find it difficult to understand how to go from where I am now, Nothing - to having your own business and being extremely happy.

You're 17. You haven't even lived life yet. It's coming. Be patient.

In the meantime, ignore the "gurus" of the day... who just parrot others... badly...

Spend your time listening to Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Denis Waitley, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, and Tony Robbins.

Don't go a day without listening to one (or all) of them.

Beyond that, get through school. Try some things. Figure out what you want to "do with your life" (realistically, what you want to do for the next couple years, not your life). Learn, educate yourself, and enjoy.

 

[AppleTree]

I think that the best way to improve your mindset is to constantly think about how to improve your mindset...I'm joking of course. However I want to tell you that no one's life is always extremely happy. Feeling doubt, feeling anxious, and feeling fear is completely normal and will happen all the time. There won't be a magical moment where you will stop feeling those(not even if you're a multi-millionaire, really).

The best way to combat this is to always take action and to have postive self talk(There's more details about this in the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways by Susan Jeffers). Positive self talk(I know it sound corny) will push you to feel better without realizing it. Taking action, as in always doing something about what you don't like instead of waiting for your inaction to grow your anxiety and fear.

 

[Runum]

As a 17 year old, I have tried many different avenues to try and improve my mindset, be it Cold Showers, Gratitude, Reading, Weightlifting and so on.
At the moment I must say I am very unhappy with my life as i always feel like i haven't gotten anywhere substantial, I find it difficult to understand how to go from where I am now, Nothing - to having your own business and being extremely happy.

The best way to improve your mindset is to get out of your own mind. Find someone to help. Do something for an elderly lady that she can't do, mow the grass, clean the sidewalk, pick up trash. Focus on helping others, that is what business will be about when you get there later. Does your school require any senior projects for you to do?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Guest931Xfjyx]

You wish to improve your mindset?

Here's how to... Only two steps... It's very simple.

1. Get a large goal
2. Make observable progress towards that goal every day

 

[Aidan04]

As a 17 year old, I have tried many different avenues to try and improve my mindset, be it Cold Showers, Gratitude, Reading, Weightlifting and so on.
At the moment I must say I am very unhappy with my life as i always feel like i haven't gotten anywhere substantial, I find it difficult to understand how to go from where I am now, Nothing - to having your own business and being extremely happy.

Invent something, build something that solves a problem, or fill a gap somewhere in the market. Software, hardware, it doesn't matter. Pick something, and start learning as you build.

Doing actionable things (even if you may fail) will always improve your mindset.

Think of this like baseball, a good hitter usually bats .300, meaning they strike out 7/10 times at the plate.

Even if you strike out, you still managed to learn a lot about the pitcher, and it's the same thing with this. You cannot be afraid to fail in this game, unlike what society has programmed you to think. It's inevitable, embrace it.

No book, guru, mentor, or forum can tell you what you learn on your journey. Most of what I know now is from going out and doing shit, making huge actionable progress on projects.

F*ck the cold shower and gratitude self-improvement guru bullshit. It's time to make some money and connections.

(Stay in the gym, have a solid diet/sleep routine, and make sure you have solid hygiene/presentation for yourself, that's really all that matters.)

Go out there and do some F*cking shit man.

 

[charlemagne]

As a 17 year old, I have tried many different avenues to try and improve my mindset, be it Cold Showers, Gratitude, Reading, Weightlifting and so on.
At the moment I must say I am very unhappy with my life as I always feel like I haven't gotten anywhere substantial, I find it difficult to understand how to go from where I am now, Nothing - to having my own business and being extremely happy.

It was already said three different ways in response to your post, but I will reiterate it because it changed my life. Have a big goal, and make progress towards it.

Look, if you are not happy now, a million dollars won't change that. I was in your shoes literally 3 months ago thinking thoughts such as: "I don't have any substantial evidence I am the person I want to be" "I am not getting anywhere in life" and "I don't know where to start". Three months ago I returned to university with one goal in mind, to completely change my life. For the first two months, nothing changed. I was reading books and talking to tons of people subconsciously trying to find the secret to happiness, wealth, etc. Do you want to know the secret? Sorry, if there is one I don't have it. The closest thing I have is to have a big goal and make progress toward it. You don't need to have it all figured out. Even if you did, life would be really boring. You just need to make little steps towards becoming the best version of yourself every day. I will die on this hill. I have completely changed my life in the last 3 months. You can too.

If you want actionable steps, I would recommend these:

1. Prove to yourself that you do the things you say you'll do. (You can do this by setting a small goal and accomplishing it, or by developing a routine, etc. The point is that if you don't trust yourself, you'll never make progress. This is literally the definition of confidence: trust in your character)
2. Get off of media forms that give you FOMO. (A lot of gurus out there are trying to sell you a secret. They don't have it, they are just exceptional at marketing. The beauty of getting away from this kind of scarcity-inducing, FOMO-type content is that you can't miss out if you don't know what's going on. My advice is to delete social media and stay away from gurus. You can't develop your vision when you feel like you're missing out on everyone else's. This should help with your happiness.)

That's all I got brother. If you want to talk more or develop a system to make some progress, feel free to PM me. I am hyper-focused on using my time effectively, so do not PM me if you are half serious about improving.

Peace,
B

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Some awesome replies, hope the user returns to read them, he hasn't been back since the post.

 

[Trismigistus]

You gotta start off from the basics and go from there. Start eating right, start exercising, start getting the best quality and length of sleep you as you can. The more you start improving yourself the better you will feel and the more it will solidify as a habbit over time. Then this habbit will spread to other parts of your life, then as your life improves you will want to accomplish more in an ever escalating fashion. You can do this.

 

[Johnny boy]

Nobody’s gonna’ pay you to take cold showers

When you show up to work on your own business as much as you would show up to school, then you’ll see progress.

Wake up, take a shit, eat an apple and get to work for the day.

Do it again and again and again.

After hundreds of days, you’ll have progress.

It’s the same for all things. Business, fitness, any skill.

Put in the reps

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Jon822]

The reason that you feel lost is due to the fact you don't have context for your situation. Imagine if I told you were in a race and that you're 10 steps in. You probably wouldn't find this very valuable because you're missing a lot of the information that gives you context: how long of a race is this? Is it a 100 meter dash, a marathon, an ultra marathon? How many people are in the race? What do I get if I win? Is there a limit to the number of winners or does everyone earn a prize for completion? Without any of this information, you have no way of having an intuitive understanding of what you're doing or what your progress is.

The beautiful thing about the race you're going to be in is that no one is competing against you: you can stumble, rest, or change strategies as much as it takes for you to learn. Your problem is that this race doesn't even have a scheduled start date yet and you're already worrying about what victory dance you'll do at the finish line. You need to focus on training and getting ready. What does this mean in the business space? Every day you should be learning and improving at some marketable skill. If you double your salary going from working at McDonald's to getting an entry level coding position because you taught yourself how to code, that's a huge win. With each skill improvement and action taken in the marketplace, you increase the probability that you will uncover a problem to solve. And when that happens, congratulations, your race has just begun.

One final thing to note is that your happiness should not be conditional on the successful completion of a race years from now or else you will be unhappy, by definition, until then. It's been said many times over by other people but you need to learn to enjoy the process. How? By recognizing that every time you choose to learn something new or get better at something instead of watching Netflix or YouTube videos. you are making progress toward something you really want. If you tie your happiness to the future, then you will never be happy no matter what you accomplish.

 

[monnffffiiiiiii]

Mindset follows action, not the other way around.

You feel good as a result of making a sale.
As a result of asking that girl out. As a result of etc.

 

[Nostalgia]

As a 17 year old, I have tried many different avenues to try and improve my mindset, be it Cold Showers, Gratitude, Reading, Weightlifting and so on.
At the moment I must say I am very unhappy with my life as i always feel like i haven't gotten anywhere substantial, I find it difficult to understand how to go from where I am now, Nothing - to having your own business and being extremely happy.

Pick up a combat sport mate.

Starting boxing was the best thing I could have done, gives me a sense of achievement, provides me with confidence, and instills discipline.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[David Fitz]

My favourite book on mindset is Psycho Cybernetics but reading only does so much.

You can also read Tony Robbins books or get his audio program Personal Power 2.

If you really want to improve your mindset then do something hard like start a business or go the gym. The consistency of doing hard shit will improve you.

 

[Spencer J]

You wish to improve your mindset?

Here's how to... Only two steps... It's very simple.

1. Get a large goal
2. Make observable progress towards that goal every day

So if i had a goal to become rich one day, would you class reading at working towards that goal? Might be a stupid question but i am curious, thank you for our reply.

 

[Spencer J]

Pick up a combat sport mate.

Starting boxing was the best thing I could have done, gives me a sense of achievement, provides me with confidence, and instills discipline.

This is definitely something i am looking into but i keep talking myself out of starting because i know people that go to the fighting gym and i keep making up scenarios where i get embarrased by someone.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Spencer J]

The reason that you feel lost is due to the fact you don't have context for your situation. Imagine if I told you were in a race and that you're 10 steps in. You probably wouldn't find this very valuable because you're missing a lot of the information that gives you context: how long of a face is this? Is it a 100 meter dash, a marathon, an ultra marathon? How many people are in the race? What do I get if I win? Is there a limit to the number of winners or does everyone earn a prize for completion? Without any of this information, you have no way of having an intuitive understanding of what you're doing or what your progress is.

The beautiful thing about the race you're going to be in is that no one is competing against you: you can stumble, rest, or change strategies as much as it takes for you to learn. Your problem is that this race doesn't even have a scheduled start date yet and you're already worrying about what victory dance you'll do at the finish line. You need to focus on training and getting ready. What does this mean in the business space? Every day you should be learning and improving at some marketable skill. If you double your salary going from working at McDonald's to getting an entry level coding position because you taught yourself how to code, that's a huge win. With each skill improvement and action taken in the marketplace, you increase the probability that you will uncover a problem to solve. And when that happens, congratulations, your race has just begun.

One final thing to note is that your happiness should not be conditional on the successful completion of a race years from now or else you will be unhappy, by definition, until then. It's been said many times over by other people but you need to learn to enjoy the process. How? By recognizing that every time you choose to learn something new or get better at something instead of watching Netflix or YouTube videos. you are making progress toward something you really want. If you tie your happiness to the future, then you will never be happy no matter what you accomplish.

That really resonated with me and it felt like you were describing my life. I understand your lesson and i will remember what you have said for a very long time. i appreciate hour reply and you should know that you have changed my perspective in a very good way and for that I thank you.

 

[Spencer J]

You're 17. You haven't even lived life yet. It's coming. Be patient.

In the meantime, ignore the "gurus" of the day... who just parrot others... badly...

Spend your time listening to Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Denis Waitley, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, and Tony Robbins.

Don't go a day without listening to one (or all) of them.

Beyond that, get through school. Try some things. Figure out what you want to "do with your life" (realistically, what you want to do for the next couple years, not your life). Learn, educate yourself, and enjoy.

you're right, however i feel like i have no chance to find what i like as people think i am unable to commit when i change jobs for example even though i have only worked in engineering and sales. I hope life gets better and from what you have said i believe it will, Its just when you hear about all these people who started when they were 15 for example, it puts pressure on me to find something and get started. So i stress and get annoyed when i slip up or find myself not making any progress even though i havent been being lazy.

 

[BizyDad]

That really resonated with me and it felt like you were describing my life. I understand your lesson and i will remember what you have said for a very long time. i appreciate hour reply and you should know that you have changed my perspective in a very good way and for that I thank you.

Welcome to the forum new guy. Just as a heads up, when people give you good responses, feel free to add some reactions on there. A like, a thank you, maybe a gold if it was particularly insightful. Also, you can quote and reply to many people in the same response.

Hope that helps.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Spencer J]

It was already said three different ways in response to your post, but I will reiterate it because it changed my life. Have a big goal, and make progress towards it.

Look, if you are not happy now, a million dollars won't change that. I was in your shoes literally 3 months ago thinking thoughts such as: "I don't have any substantial evidence I am the person I want to be" "I am not getting anywhere in life" and "I don't know where to start". Three months ago I returned to university with one goal in mind, to completely change my life. For the first two months, nothing changed. I was reading books and talking to tons of people subconsciously trying to find the secret to happiness, wealth, etc. Do you want to know the secret? Sorry, if there is one I don't have it. The closest thing I have is to have a big goal and make progress toward it. You don't need to have it all figured out. Even if you did, life would be really boring. You just need to make little steps towards becoming the best version of yourself every day. I will die on this hill. I have completely changed my life in the last 3 months. You can too.

If you want actionable steps, I would recommend these:

1. Prove to yourself that you do the things you say you'll do. (You can do this by setting a small goal and accomplishing it, or by developing a routine, etc. The point is that if you don't trust yourself, you'll never make progress. This is literally the definition of confidence: trust in your character)
2. Get off of media forms that give you FOMO. (A lot of gurus out there are trying to sell you a secret. They don't have it, they are just exceptional at marketing. The beauty of getting away from this kind of scarcity-inducing, FOMO-type content is that you can't miss out if you don't know what's going on. My advice is to delete social media and stay away from gurus. You can't develop your vision when you feel like you're missing out on everyone else's. This should help with your happiness.)

That's all I got brother. If you want to talk more or develop a system to make some progress, feel free to PM me. I am hyper-focused on using my time effectively, so do not PM me if you are half serious about improving.

Peace,
B

Hi i really appreciate your reply and it brings me comfort that i am not the only one who has been/is in the position im in. I feel like i make a lot of mistakes and ruin the fun in a lot of things. I am trying to develop a routine where i learn something new(programming at the moment), film or edit content, read and so on. So i will view these habits in a different light and see it as little improvements towards the goal of being happy and wealthy one day. I appreciate it brother.

 

[Spencer J]

The best way to improve your mindset is to get out of your own mind. Find someone to help. Do something for an elderly lady that she can't do, mow the grass, clean the sidewalk, pick up trash. Focus on helping others, that is what business will be about when you get there later. Does your school require any senior projects for you to do?

Hi thank you for hour message. I live in the UK so i left school at 16 so i now have a job selling furniture which i guess allows me to help people find what's best for them.

 

[Spencer J]

I think that the best way to improve your mindset is to constantly think about how to improve your mindset...I'm joking of course. However I want to tell you that no one's life is always extremely happy. Feeling doubt, feeling anxious, and feeling fear is completely normal and will happen all the time. There won't be a magical moment where you will stop feeling those(not even if you're a multi-millionaire, really).

The best way to combat this is to always take action and to have postive self talk(There's more details about this in the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways by Susan Jeffers). Positive self talk(I know it sound corny) will push you to feel better without realizing it. Taking action, as in always doing something about what you don't like instead of waiting for your inaction to grow your anxiety and fear.

Thank you for the reply and your advice, i will learn from your message. Thank you

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Spencer J]

Some awesome replies, hope the user returns to read them, he hasn't been back since the post.

Wow Hi MJ, the platform you have built is going to help me become the man i want to become with the family and the life i want, and for that i thank you
I tried to reply to all the responses i could and each one was extremely helpful and insightful in their own way.
p.s. I also thought your book was amazing.

 

[Nostalgia]

This is definitely something i am looking into but i keep talking myself out of starting because i know people that go to the fighting gym and i keep making up scenarios where i get embarrased by someone.

Listen. Life is too short to be scared about embarrassment. God when I started a couple of months ago I tripped over my rope, couldn't do a single pushup, got confused on the drills, got yelled at by the coach. But man I am so grateful that I STARTED, just go once a week, SHOW UP, consistency is everything.

Just think about your future self, just a couple of months from now how thankful, how happy he's going to be for you. Just imagine the feeling of walking down the street with full confidence, KNOWING you can defend yourself. Your going to be comfortable in your own body, and most importantly you'll be happy.

Also just want to let you know that your mind makes any situation 100x worse than in needs to be, just imagine the perfect scenario occurring, and walk into the gym with that feeling.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

You’re not going to like this… but only losers work on improving their mindset. Almost every loser I meet is trying to do something with their mindset.

To hell with your mindset. Just do what you have to do — that’s all the mindset training you need.

The millionaire and billionaires out there aren’t thinking about their mindset. Do you think 20-year old Elon Musk was thinking “man F*ck, I have a loser mindset, I need to upgrade it…” and then started chanting mantras and affirmations in the mirror and popping Les Browns CDs? No, the answer is of course not. Because it ain’t gonna put a single lonely dollar in your pocket.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Guest931Xfjyx]

So if i had a goal to become rich one day, would you class reading at working towards that goal? Might be a stupid question but i am curious, thank you for our reply.

Absolutely not. You will never get rich through reading alone.

However, be clear, the original question was how can you improve your mindset, and not how can you get rich.

And so I think if you can delude yourself that you’re being productive towards your goal of becoming rich through reading — your outlook on life will certainly improve — but not your wallet, and not your actual progress.

I trust you’re intelligent enough to eventually realize that though.

 

[RomeoMe]

I was in your exact shoes a year and a half ago or so, was the same age too, I had just read TMF and was lost about what to do next.
I am still figuring it out, but now at 19 it is finally starting to snowball into something great. Once you start doing the things you know you are supposed to do, it starts to get better because doing is the only way that your IDENTITY changes. Cold Baths, Meditation, Self Help Books, all of those have a place sure, but don't commit the same mistake as the 18 year old me, of thinking you need to "work on yourself first" before going ahead with your goals, perusing them is what is gonna give you clarity on where to improve next, what to read next, and so on.

In another words,
Just start doing it.

 

[Spencer J]

I was in your exact shoes a year and a half ago or so, was the same age too, I had just read TMF and was lost about what to do next.
I am still figuring it out, but now at 19 it is finally starting to snowball into something great. Once you start doing the things you know you are supposed to do, it starts to get better because doing is the only way that your IDENTITY changes. Cold Baths, Meditation, Self Help Books, all of those have a place sure, but don't commit the same mistake as the 18 year old me, of thinking you need to "work on yourself first" before going ahead with your goals, perusing them is what is gonna give you clarity on where to improve next, what to read next, and so on.

In another words,
Just start doing it.

Thank you for that, at the moment i am trying to find some sort of online programming service i can provide which is why i am investing about an hour a day into learning programming. For the summer i am gonna start jetwashing(i think Americans call it powerwashing) on my days off which i am really excited for so hopefully that will allow me to stack cash and then put it towards something great.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Thaddeus]

As a 17 year old, I have tried many different avenues to try and improve my mindset, be it Cold Showers, Gratitude, Reading, Weightlifting and so on.
At the moment I must say I am very unhappy with my life as i always feel like i haven't gotten anywhere substantial, I find it difficult to understand how to go from where I am now, Nothing - to having your own business and being extremely happy.

Hey brother, just came across your post, I'm also 17 and had this issue in the past. Most of the time I feel like I'm not achieving as much as I should be, feels like time is limited, but remember that we're time billionaires, as long as you're getting 1% better everyday, the progress will be substantial. And also if you'd like to connect on discord or something, I'd be more than happy.

 

[ZackerySprague]

2 Part Answer

1. 3 Warms:
-Do you have a bed?
-Do you have a hot meal?
-Can you take a hot shower?

2. Gratitude and Perspective.

This is a good start, everything else can be built upon.

From the book of Power of Now. Remove time from the brain. Live in the Present. Not the future or past. All we have is where we are now.

I'll add a third:

Community: Do you have friends or family who love you unconditionally? Who will support you in times of distress?

Things always could be worse. But it is best to practice what you have, who you have, and not what's missing. It will place you in a negative mindset.