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Anything related to matters of the mind

Implacabilis

New Contributor
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Feb 19, 2020
34
17
Scotland, Edinburgh
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Hey folks. I'm not sure if this topic has been covered on the forum. I certainly couldn't seem to find anything relating to it.

I wanted to get 'everyone's' views on your environment, and just how important it is. Mainly, the people we have around us, and the company we keep. I want to hear from people who are in the midst of their success journey, and the people who have reached close to their final destination.

The main point I wanted to raise is this. For the last 6-7yrs I've been educating myself by reading, podcasts and videos. I've been feeding my curiosity and want to continually evolve and be the best version of myself. However, the topic that does not seem to get covered much is the downside and consequences of doing this. ISOLATION. Over the years as my mind has changed, I've lost touch with so many people. Sometimes them, but mostly on my part. I am literally now a 'one-man wolf pack'. It's scary and depressing at times.

I find that most people who I once connected with, now frustrate and bore me. I can't understand their lifestyle and the way they think, and they can't understand mine. The last person to leave my life is my own brother. He became tired of my chat about trying to reach for things and tired of me trying to push and motivate him.

During this whole journey, people have even been downright nasty. Laughing and questioning my life choices. "your heads in the clouds" 'you need to chill on the whole success thing" "when will you lighten up and start enjoying life" "YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE!" And it goes on. Even the nice people in my life I thought had my back and once close with, have slowly stopped speaking with me? I'm a socially outgoing guy who loves being around people, but the right people. People who have goals and ambitions. But no one around me is this way. I've never had people like this in my life. I know when I do accidentally come across such people, we can share the most amazing conversations. I LIGHT UP! But sadly that does not come around too often.

Has anyone else experienced this on their journey? Do they ever get the chance to reconnect with people like them? Things are tough and anxiety sometimes creeps in. And yet, something settles me and tells me this is the right path for me? It's sometimes confusing and conflicting. Any thoughts or past experiences from anyone would be incredibly insightful.

Thanks
Gareth.
 
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Stargazer

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Mar 8, 2018
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Well what is it that you are actually doing?

I'm using this as an example, not for you to go and buy one.

If you had a Fish & Chip Shop you would automatically know the owners of the other shops nearby (Set One) and owners of Fish & Chip Shops in other areas (Set Two) and you will have owners of small businesses that supply you (Set Three) You might join The Fish & Chip Shop Society and get a monthly magazine and go to an annual dinner so loosely meet another group of people (Set Four)

Now you might not like a single person in these 4 sets which is very different from simply not being aware of them. But if you are aware of them and generally say hello every now and again yu may find one of them is right up your street and want to talk about business topics that interest you.

But talking about these things to people not interested is a waste of time. If your friend wants to trek across the Sahara as a goal ,do you really want to be listening to him outlining in detail what he is packing, what route he is taking, what training he may or may not be undertaking week after week after week? No you don't is the answer.

Also you are allowed to have a hobby or play a sport. Rugby, Cricket and Hockey Clubs are not exactly filled with lifes underachievers are they?

Dan
 

beres8011

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May 2, 2023
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View attachment 48688

Hey folks. I'm not sure if this topic has been covered on the forum. I certainly couldn't seem to find anything relating to it.

I wanted to get 'everyone's' views on your environment, and just how important it is. Mainly, the people we have around us, and the company we keep. I want to hear from people who are in the midst of their success journey, and the people who have reached close to their final destination.

The main point I wanted to raise is this. For the last 6-7yrs I've been educating myself by reading, podcasts and videos. I've been feeding my curiosity and want to continually evolve and be the best version of myself. However, the topic that does not seem to get covered much is the downside and consequences of doing this. ISOLATION. Over the years as my mind has changed, I've lost touch with so many people. Sometimes them, but mostly on my part. I am literally now a 'one-man wolf pack'. It's scary and depressing at times.

I find that most people who I once connected with, now frustrate and bore me. I can't understand their lifestyle and the way they think, and they can't understand mine. The last person to leave my life is my own brother. He became tired of my chat about trying to reach for things and tired of me trying to push and motivate him.

During this whole journey, people have even been downright nasty. Laughing and questioning my life choices. "your heads in the clouds" 'you need to chill on the whole success thing" "when will you lighten up and start enjoying life" "YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE!" And it goes on. Even the nice people in my life I thought had my back and once close with, have slowly stopped speaking with me? I'm a socially outgoing guy who loves being around people, but the right people. People who have goals and ambitions. But no one around me is this way. I've never had people like this in my life. I know when I do accidentally come across such people, we can share the most amazing conversations. I LIGHT UP! But sadly that does not come around too often.

Has anyone else experienced this on their journey? Do they ever get the chance to reconnect with people like them? Things are tough and anxiety sometimes creeps in. And yet, something settles me and tells me this is the right path for me? It's sometimes confusing and conflicting. Any thoughts or past experiences from anyone would be incredibly insightful.

Thanks
Gareth.
Hi Gareth
I have had similar feelings. I think that being with like minded people is very, very important. My issue is where do I find such company? I have joined this group hoping to find them.

As far as rejoining those people you have lost contact with, I feel that this scenario if almost impossible. You and I have outgrown many of our friends and we must find new ones to take their place.

How are you trying to find a new group of like minded people?

David Beres
 

Implacabilis

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
50%
Feb 19, 2020
34
17
Scotland, Edinburgh
Well what is it that you are actually doing?

I'm using this as an example, not for you to go and buy one.

If you had a Fish & Chip Shop you would automatically know the owners of the other shops nearby (Set One) and owners of Fish & Chip Shops in other areas (Set Two) and you will have owners of small businesses that supply you (Set Three) You might join The Fish & Chip Shop Society and get a monthly magazine and go to an annual dinner so loosely meet another group of people (Set Four)

Now you might not like a single person in these 4 sets which is very different from simply not being aware of them. But if you are aware of them and generally say hello every now and again yu may find one of them is right up your street and want to talk about business topics that interest you.

But talking about these things to people not interested is a waste of time. If your friend wants to trek across the Sahara as a goal ,do you really want to be listening to him outlining in detail what he is packing, what route he is taking, what training he may or may not be undertaking week after week after week? No you don't is the answer.

Also you are allowed to have a hobby or play a sport. Rugby, Cricket and Hockey Clubs are not exactly filled with lifes underachievers are they?

Dan
Hey Dan. Really appreciate that response. So much food for thought in there.

Point 1. Surrounding yourself with people similarly in your industry who may be on the same journey or already achieved the things you want to achieve. So I do Web and Graphic Design. But always trying(and failing) bigger business ideas. But your point is a good one. I think for some reason I've not been reaching out to people. Not making the effort to join groups and chat rooms in this industry. Poor excuse but I guess I've been working so hard I've not made time for it. So that's on me. Maybe I've been watching too many motivational vids that always promote that heroic tale of the lone wolf. So maybe without thinking I have been creating this.

There's a recurring theme beginning to emerge here I feel. Self-sabotage, fear of meeting people who are successful(for feeling of inadequacy), and lack of OWNERSHIP. It's up to me to seek out new like-minded people. Not sit and say it must be this way (SULK SULK SULK).

Point 2. YOU ARE RIGHT. I have become so obsessed with success it's always on my mind. No rest bite. Again maybe too many books and podcasts promoting the fact YOU MUST be thinking about it ALWAYS. And now, I DO. Poeple don't want to hear about it. And I shouldn't expect them to. But what I would like to do is find people who do share that thirst for success. My circle 'was', full of people who are complete opposites. I find these are not my type of people anymore somehow.

Point 3. HOBBIES. I like that you brought this up. Again you make a great point. I run, I gym, consistently. I cycle. All on my own. Maybe running or cycling clubs. Again I've put so much into bettering myself and working hard I've not made room for finding new people.

Dan, really appreciate that response and it's given me tons to think about. I either make time and effort to reach out to people, or quit the pity party crap! It doesn't have to be that way. Just because you can no longer relate to the people who were once close to you, does not mean you cant reach out to others on similar journeys. In fact, maybe it's not a bad sign knowing you no longer can connect with a group of people you had in your life. Maybe that's a sign your on the right track.

Thanks again Dan.
 
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Implacabilis

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
50%
Feb 19, 2020
34
17
Scotland, Edinburgh
Hi Gareth
I have had similar feelings. I think that being with like minded people is very, very important. My issue is where do I find such company? I have joined this group hoping to find them.

As far as rejoining those people you have lost contact with, I feel that this scenario if almost impossible. You and I have outgrown many of our friends and we must find new ones to take their place.

How are you trying to find a new group of like minded people?

David Beres
Hey David. Nice to here I'm not the only one. The point you make about outgrowing your previous circle is a great one. Maybe I should be more positive about this happening. In the sense that all that hard work of bettering myself is paying off. And in answer to your question about finding new like-minded people. Honestly, I've done nothing. Not a thing. Never attempted to reach out to similar people. Always just said to myself, ONCE I get there I will find those people.

I think from Dan's previous message I will try a few cycling and running groups. There might be some high achievers there to connect with. Not an easy thing to do at 42 though. The other thing I think is HUGE for me, is I've not got to a high success level (YET). So although upgraded my mind, my bank balance doesn't correlate. There's a fear of meeting successful people due to a feeling of inadequacy.

It would be nice to meet similar people who have done the work on themselves. Who are reaching for the stars. Who has that ambitious attitude? I guess maybe this is the place to start. Maybe I'm not fully utilizing this very forum? Just taking time out each day to engage with people on here about anything success? Could be a good starting point. I guess it's on US to make time to engage. Put myself out there more. Stop bothering about being judged on status and more connecting in terms of mindset?
 

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