Do/Did You Surround Yourself With Action Takers?

[MakeItHappen]

Like attracts Like

Yep and this does make 100% perfect sense from an evolutionary standpoint.
The subconsciousness mind tries to adapt to its social environment to reduce the chance of being excluded from the social environment which would have meant almost certain death thousands of years ago.
So unconsciously you start to copy the habits and even the thought process of your social environment to fit in.

Of course you can use your willpower and try to prevent it from happening but the subconsciousness mind is very powerful and all it wants is to survive and from an evolutionary standpoint your chances to survive are always best when you adapt fast the environment.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gymjunkie]

Yep and this does make 100% perfect sense from an evolutionary standpoint.
The subconsciousness mind tries to adapt to its social environment to reduce the chance of being excluded from the social environment which would have meant almost certain death thousands of years ago.
So unconsciously you start to copy the habits and even the thought process of your social environment to fit in.

Of course you can use your willpower and try to prevent it from happening but the subconsciousness mind is very powerful and all it wants is to survive and from an evolutionary standpoint your chances to survive are always best when you adapt fast the environment.

It just takes away energy when you're 'not letting' other people influence you. Some folks here try to play this card, 'I'm so strong I don't let anyone influence me' but it's BS.. even if you were that strong, means you were wasting all that energy instead of directing it towards your goals.

 

[Iwokeup]

There is something to be said for the "network effect." I've seen it in my own life, and it's the rare person who isn't influenced to some degree by their network. There have even been articles published recently that showed how surrounding yourself with obese (or fit) people can change your own norms for "acceptable."

Same in medical school.
Same in the Marine Corps
Same in professional medical practice (believe me, there are physicians who are negative/negative/negative all the time..it definitely affects your attitude)

So yes, I think that your five person network matters a LOT, for most people.

 

[SteveO]

You're misunderstanding the quote maybe. It's not about not talking with slowlaners or ignoring etc. It's application of 80/20 rule in your friends in a way. There are people you hang out most with and if they are 'positive' than you're likely 'positive', if they have lots of potential but don't get off their a$$, you're like that too most likely, if they are dishonest, then you're likely dishonest.

No, I understand the quote. I explained my reasoning already. Hang out with those that you enjoy hanging out with. If you like hanging out with them, why do you need to judge? Don't let them affect your business life. There is no reason that they should be able to.

If this is the case, you have other issues that need to be dealt with. Self-confidence and fear are the first things to look at.

Edit: I understand the quote but the part I don't grasp is why this keeps being stated. My perception does not match the general consensus. It is certainly possible for people to be swayed by who they are hanging out with. There is no problem with changing friends. Quality friends are good to have. But, I have quality friends that don't think like me. They have no interest in business. I will not stop hanging out with them because of this. I will also not let them affect my business decisions.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gale4rc]

Why not? They might do it. And then you'd be doing both, drinking and having fun and probably talking some business. Who said entrepreneurs don't party at all (there is time and place for it)..

Drinking can cause mistakes / problems and it's not something I would risk with someone who I had that relationship with.... But, honestly my answer doesn't matter... Judging by your other replies you're not looking for other peoples opinions, you're looking to show why you're right.

 

[SteveO]

My apologies if I am coming across too strong on this topic. That is not my intention although it sounds like the case when I re-read.

We are all different. What works for one of us may not work for others.

I have had many quality friends past and present. There have also been some that were not. I got away from them years ago. I just cannot see dumping friends that are enjoyable to be around just because they have a slowlane mentality. That would be like "Crud, I can't hang around with you during or after softball because you don't put any effort into making money". This is what does not make sense to me.

What does make sense is dropping friends that want to do things that you don't want to do. If you don't want to sit around and get high all the time and your friends do, then it is time for a change.

If your motivation will be aided by hanging out with doers, then find them. If you are not looking to hike, play ball, take trips and just want to focus on business, then that is what you should do. Then you are finding friends that are doing what you want to do. That makes perfect sense.

Your focus and drive should come from within though. We have access to a lot of "friends" right here on the forum. I occasionally hang out with a number of you. I know that there are some people on here that hang out with each other frequently.

Lots of ways to look at this. My only point is that you should not drop good friends that you enjoy shared activities with because they have a different philosophy about money. But, each of us needs to do what works for us.

 

[Gymjunkie]

Drinking can cause mistakes / problems and it's not something I would risk with someone who I had that relationship with.... But, honestly my answer doesn't matter... Judging by your other replies you're not looking for other peoples opinions, you're looking to show why you're right.

I just asked a 'What if' question.. you seem just the same thing you tell me.. You have your assumptions and now go defensive for no reason..

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gymjunkie]

No, I understand the quote. I explained my reasoning already. Hang out with those that you enjoy hanging out with. If you like hanging out with them, why do you need to judge? Don't let them affect your business life. There is no reason that they should be able to.

If this is the case, you have other issues that need to be dealt with. Self-confidence and fear are the first things to look at.

Edit: I understand the quote but the part I don't grasp is why this keeps being stated. My perception does not match the general consensus. It is certainly possible for people to be swayed by who they are hanging out with. There is no problem with changing friends. Quality friends are good to have. But, I have quality friends that don't think like me. They have no interest in business. I will not stop hanging out with them because of this. I will also not let them affect my business decisions.

What if it's sort of Feedback mechanism?... it's not that you shouldn't hang out with everyone, just that your closest circle is big mirror for you and a way to learn about yourself.

It also depends on everyone definition of 'hanging out'.. hanging out with people twice a year doesn't include them in this topic (and doesn't mean they're bad etc)..

 

[AndrewNC]

Edit: I understand the quote but the part I don't grasp is why this keeps being stated. My perception does not match the general consensus. It is certainly possible for people to be swayed by who they are hanging out with. There is no problem with changing friends. Quality friends are good to have. But, I have quality friends that don't think like me. They have no interest in business. I will not stop hanging out with them because of this. I will also not let them affect my business decisions.

Have you ever noticed that your 'non fastlane mindset' friends actually help you a lot with your business? I've been hanging out with a lot of the 'laid back Boulder, CO crowd' who have no 'fastlane mindset', but I learn SOOO much from them that I apply in my own way.

I think what you said is key... don't let other people's mindsets hold you back, and enjoy your time with them when you are with them. Take the positive, and don't let the negative affect you.

 

[SteveO]

What if it's sort of Feedback mechanism?... it's not that you shouldn't hang out with everyone, just that your closest circle is big mirror for you and a way to learn about yourself.

Ok. My closest circle right now is from the many softball teams that I have played on. We have a very tight group that does a lot of things together. None of them are fastlane. It does not make me less fastlane though.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gymjunkie]

Ok. My closest circle right now is from the many softball teams that I have played on. We have a very tight group that does a lot of things together. None of them are fastlane. It does not make me less fastlane though.

Never said they have to be Fastlane.. It's more about character traits and beliefs. Maybe they are all ambitious and have great potential, they have drive and motivation. I used to think that Entrepreneurs are 'more enlightened' but in reality we're just group of people with different life script and choices. There is nothing wrong with someone who works for others but has big ambitions and wants to be best at what he does. I can relate to that! So if that's the 5 people I hand around most with, then I'm happy with feedback. On the other hand, if I notice that those 5 people are selfish and little bit dodgy in terms of morals.. well.. that's a sign to check out ourself in that way.

I think this is more important than who you 'hang out' with part, you can play games and drink with everyone, that's normal.. but those who stick to you are good indication of your deeper stuff.. that's the whole point of quote..

And just to play devil's advocate (cuz again this quote is not about ignoring everyone else), how do you know you're not being held back? What if you moved to a place where only entrepreneurs live and you did roadtrips together, played softball and did all other kinds of activities you do with your 'normal' friends, but there was underlying common ground of biz and you'd be pushing each other more (because you all understand what challenges it brings)? What if that is huge catalyst that would take you to next level whatever that is at the moment? What if it's the 'Good is the enemy of Great' type of thing?

 

[SteveO]

And just to play devil's advocate (cuz again this quote is not about ignoring everyone else), how do you know you're not being held back? What if you moved to a place where only entrepreneurs live and you did roadtrips together, played softball and did all other kinds of activities you do with your 'normal' friends, but there was underlying common ground of biz and you'd be pushing each other more (because you all understand what challenges it brings)? What if that is huge catalyst that would take you to next level whatever that is at the moment? What if it's the 'Good is the enemy of Great' type of thing?

I have hung out with some of the people in my business. Talk about scoundrels.... not like I'm judging or anything. There have been times that I have done deals with people that are on the "same caliber" in the investment world. I felt like some of them would gnaw my hand off if it meant $1000 less than $100,000 coming back to them. Even if it wasn't theirs.

Perhaps I could have done more. Millions are not enough. I want fun in my life.

btw... I started investing in apartments at the age of 37 and quit my job to retire at 40. Basically less than 3 years from the time I set my mind.

 

[Gymjunkie]

I have hung out with some of the people in my business. Talk about scoundrels.... not like I'm judging or anything. There have been times that I have done deals with people that are on the "same caliber" in the investment world. I felt like some of them would gnaw my hand off if it meant $1000 less than $100,000 coming back to them. Even if it wasn't theirs.

Perhaps I could have done more. Millions are not enough. I want fun in my life.

btw... I started investing in apartments at the age of 37 and quit my job to retire at 40. Basically less than 3 years from the time I set my mind.

Scoundrels and cheats are everywhere. In biz and non-biz world. There are good people in your industry too.. But this is not really related here.. This is about closest 5 people not everyone you come across.. that's why I 'called your post out' etc.. nothing personal..

Anyway, cheers for engaging in actual discussion.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SteveO]

that's why I 'called your post out' etc..

We agree to disagree.

 

[Gymjunkie]

We agree to disagree.

Just because we're talking about different topics actually.. I don't think we're that off in general ..

 

[vinylawesome]

For me..

The most important qualities for a friend in order of importance.

1. Integrity

2. Trustworthiness

3. Reliability

4. Shared common interests

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Deon]

What does make sense is dropping friends that want to do things that you don't want to do. If you don't want to sit around and get high all the time and your friends do, then it is time for a change.

The Jim Rohn quote is more about this than anything else. It doesn't mean you need to drop friends you spend a good time with completely.

But as an example, if your closest 5 friends, let's say... like partying all the time, have no big goals in life, and are content with normalcy and living average lives. I guess you could hang out with them, it's ok because you're friends obviously. But how do you think your life and your pursuit of your higher goals be, if when you got together with your friends, maybe you watch a football game, have lunch, whatever... and your conversation are not only fun talks (they are too, just not ONLY that), but also about the deals you each made, skills you learned, goals you reached or set for the future, maybe interesting books you've read... Don't you think that kind of circle is more prone to push you forward, even unintentionally, just by putting those kinds of ideas in your head? Maybe you'll learn a thing or two each time you get together, and maybe that can dramatically change where your life goes.

Extreme examples also prove the point...How would your life be different if your 5 closest friends were complaining all the time about government, taxes, "circumstances", how people getting rich "have to be" unethical, complain about their bosses... or if your closest were worth each 100 million or more, where the word "million" and "millions" are thrown around so easily as something that's achievable that it makes it so real in your life and you feel inspired just being part of those conversations, and you feel closer to that reality.

Do you think it doesn't matter in which of these cases you find yourself?

Successful people are more prone to encourage you and be happy for you when you succeed than people who see you succeeding but realize they're in the same spot and didn't improve at all. Seeing you succeed makes them more aware of their current situation.

Anyway, just my point of view my man

 

[SteveO]

But as an example, if your closest 5 friends, let's say... like partying all the time, have no big goals in life, and are content with normalcy and living average lives. I guess you could hang out with them, it's ok because you're friends obviously.

But, but, my five closest friends do fit that description. Seriously. The people that I hang out with the most are from softball. They are young and crazy. That is who we go out to dinner with, party with, do charity fundraisers with, golf with, etc... None of that has an affect on my business life. I like these people. I don't care how much they party.

Clearly I have a large difference of opinion than many of the other posters on here. I am not going to change anyone's mind and they are not going to change mine. One of the beauties of life is that we can live it the way we want.

 

[SteveO]

but also about the deals you each made, skills you learned, goals you reached or set for the future, maybe interesting books you've read... Don't you think that kind of circle is more prone to push you forward, even unintentionally, just by putting those kinds of ideas in your head? Maybe you'll learn a thing or two each time you get together, and maybe that can dramatically change where your life goes.

This is why I am here. It is why I attend the yearly meetup. I do have friends from this forum that I do things with, just not the five I spend the most time with.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[early riser]

The part that matters most to me is their attitude.
For this, I believe the quote applies and it is one I buy heavily into.

Ideally the mix is going to be positive people, that can double as mentors, that you can also hang out with and enjoy doing whatever.

That said, am I going to hate on someone for being a teacher? No.
For the most part, it isn't fastlane but I have respect for what they do.

People that party don't bother me either and I have gotten valuable feedback due to partying.
If you ever want someone's non sugarcoated opinion on business, you'll get it when they're drinking.

-Early Riser

 

[OVOvince]

What if you don't have any friends? Are you unbound by the average? Seriously, I'm a loner these days, lol.

This is the same issue for me. I cut off toxic people and moved to a different city. I know some people here but they go to school and I don't. I don't know any action taking people.

Is this necessarily a bad thing?

 

[Bossgirl]

I think the mastermind effect is really about the "mind" more than anything else. If you're a loner like myself in entrepreneurial pursuits whether by choice or circumstance, you can "surround yourself" with inspiring people by consistently reading what they write and using it to push you, inspire you and keep you accountable.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Mattie]

For the last year I've been in the Netherlands, so I haven't really had a chance to hang around five people that are action takers. I'm basically a loner motivating myself from here.

 

[The-J]

If you're a university student, look for your entrepreneur club. Every school has one, and even though it might seem lame there are some real action takers in the bunch. Don't get involved with wantrepreneurs, because those are the majority.

The forum is an excellent place to meet people. I hosted a Toronto Fastlane Meetup this September. Got 6 people in total to come out, all of them are doing really cool stuff. We talked business for 4 hours over lunch and drinks. Host a meetup in your local metropolitan area, or join one!

If you're out in the sticks, make a Skype mastermind group with people in your industry and host a weekly call. Make sure you are expecting something from everybody, though. @IceCreamKid has a great thread on this.

Don't walk this road alone... it's lonely enough as it is.