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SSTrey

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I am eager to hear from the forum, what are your challenges with business/start ups/etc whilst having a gf/bf/husband/wife?
I am dating currently. I founded a startup & we have literally just launched. There are times when my gf (although apparently supportive) has an issue with me not having time.
I am not the type of guy to get bored easily or waste time. I try to balance what's important to me however my start up forever has those 'you don't know what you don't know, until you know it' moments & she does not get it. I feel like I have to explain & teach her daily.
 

Black_Dragon43

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Yep, that’s just the way it goes. You just have to communicate well, so that your partner understands what you’re doing and why. But there will be hard times, building a business isn’t easy, and a lot of the big hitters have sacrificed a lot of their personal lives to build their businesses. Elon Musk took a vacation ONCE in 12 years. If his first wife wanted to travel, tough luck, Elon couldn’t do it. Probably why they ended up getting divorced in the end…

Although I will say that you’ve gotta learn to stand up for yourself. Otherwise you’ll never build an empire. All these guys, they were TOUGH. They stood their grounds.
 

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I like to think I lucked out on this one. My fiancee has been nothing but supportive, even when things are difficult. She's self employed now, too. We've been together since we were teenagers.

Not everyone is going to be like that. In my opinion, if you don't support each other 100%, you're better off separate. But remember: just because she disagrees with how you do things does not mean she's not supportive!

As far as getting to know new people (the dating process), I couldn't imagine how difficult that could be while putting your all into a business.
 

Black_Dragon43

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She can date a bum or mcdonalds worker, if she does not like ambitious, entrepreneurial man.
The alternative though isn't the bum or mcd worker (SIDEWALKER). It's the well-to-do lawyer/doctor (and more recently programmer too), who isn't an entrepreneur but has a good/solid wage (ie a SLOWLANER), enabling them to have a nice house, a nice car, some investments, and some free time (in some cases more than the ambitious entrepreneurs you talk about, at least in the short run).

Don't forget that human beings are not good long-term thinkers for the most part, and neither are women, more specifically. And the way this game is played is that the hard-working Slowlaner with a power job is ahead of the game compared to the entrepreneur in the short run.
 
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Kak

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I feel like I have to explain & teach her daily.
It will piss off some feminists, but that is your role. You pick up where her father left off. She is wired to be protected and provided for by you.

As a man, you take the reigns. You provide, you teach, you BE the person that she can respect and look up to. Respect is also earned… A man can’t take his rightful place at the head of his household until he has a foundation worthy of respect built.

A lot of men will take what I say as, “be a tyrant.” If that’s what someone here thinks I said, keep rereading the above until you understand English.

It is a responsibility, not some kind of entitlement. If she respects you, and feels secure that you will do what it takes to meet the above, she will never question you.

I can start any business I want, buy something huge, make investment calls, sell the frickin house, give everything away, move us to Antarctica… It doesn’t matter, my wife knows I’m taking care of her.

Striving for “supportive” is barking up the wrong tree. Mutual relationship shared role BS is not good for either of you. Unwaveringly loyal and respectful, because you’ve earned it, is what you want.
 
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SSTrey

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I like to think I lucked out on this one. My fiancee has been nothing but supportive, even when things are difficult. She's self employed now, too. We've been together since we were teenagers.

Not everyone is going to be like that. In my opinion, if you don't support each other 100%, you're better off separate. But remember: just because she disagrees with how you do things does not mean she's not supportive!

As far as getting to know new people (the dating process), I couldn't imagine how difficult that could be while putting your all into a business.
Thanks. I think when your partner is on the entrepreneur path too, it makes things SO MUCH easier.
 

SSTrey

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She can date a bum or mcdonalds worker, if she does not like ambitious, entrepreneurial man.
I often think that many women do love ambitious guys BUT they don't know what PROCESS it takes to be ambitious.
I always use Dwayne Johnson as the example. Women love him, great built, rich, successful, etc etc BUT I'm pretty sure his gf/wife doesn't feel the exact same because she has to deal with his insane training & work ethic ie. 4am wake ups, late night working etc etc.
 

SSTrey

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The alternative though isn't the bum or mcd worker (SIDEWALKER). It's the well-to-do lawyer/doctor (and more recently programmer too), who isn't an entrepreneur but has a good/solid wage (ie a SLOWLANER), enabling them to have a nice house, a nice car, some investments, and some free time (in some cases more than the ambitious entrepreneurs you talk about, at least in the short run).

Don't forget that human beings are not good long-term thinkers for the most part, and neither are women, more specifically. And the way this game is played is that the hard-working Slowlaner with a power job is ahead of the game compared to the entrepreneur in the short run.
This is so true.
"neither are women, more specifically" I find this part really true. I am prepared to dedicate temp time for lifelong reward but many women are not.
 

SSTrey

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It will piss off some feminists, but that is your role. You pick up where her father left off. She is wired to be protected and provided for by you.

As a man, you take the reigns. You provide, you teach, you BE the person that she can respect and look up to. Respect is also earned… A man can’t take his rightful place at the head of his household until he has a foundation worthy of respect built.

A lot of men will take what I say as, “be a tyrant.” If that’s what someone here thinks I said, keep rereading the above until you understand English.

It is a responsibility, not some kind of entitlement. If she respects you, and feels secure that you will do what it takes to meet the above, she will never question you.

I can start any business I want, buy something huge, make investment calls, sell the frickin house, give everything away, move us to Antarctica… It doesn’t matter, my wife knows I’m taking care of her.

Striving for “supportive” is barking up the wrong tree. Mutual relationship shared role BS is not good for either of you. Unwaveringly loyal and respectful, because you’ve earned it, is what you want.
Some great points. With my gf, it's much less (if at all) about everything else you have mentioned. She does know I'm supportive, respected/ful, etc. She also knows I'm a hard worker.

For me, TIME is what she often starts an 'argument' about. The truth is this, lack of time is the nature of the entrepreneur beast you know. When women see that you don't have time for them (THEIR time is highly biased btw, because you can never ever spend enough time with them) they automatically translate your lack of time as lack-of-time for them or no care for them or no interest in them or unfulfilling their needs, etc. AND in my case, that is so damn far from the truth.
I'm actually more balanced than most people. If I'm not with her, I'm doing something super constructive & planning for the future, which I do see her a major part of.

In summary - I feel like many women are their own worst nightmare. They have car headlight vision that is SO SO LIMITED.
 

Black_Dragon43

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In summary - I feel like many women are their own worst nightmare. They have car headlight vision that is SO SO LIMITED.
We can say this about 95% of people out there. In fact, scratch that, 99%. Most of us are our own worst enemies.

The truth here is that she has some emotional needs that you're not satisfying, and it may not be possible for you to satisfy them without giving up some of your other commitments. Stare the truth in the face, and do what you have to do anyway. If she leaves you, so be it, you can't control other people, as hard as that is.

Your role in helping her is minimized by the fact that you have an interest in helping her. Getting her to accept the situation and remain with you. Therefore everything that you say is almost automatically discounted as you trying to get your own way, and hence being biased. If, on the other hand, her FRIENDS told her that she needs to be less needy and try to understand you more, then she would be a lot more open to it.

But guess what? All she has to do is pop up Instagram and see all the "other girls" going out, and taking vacations and what not. So how can she NOT want that, when she sees others like her around enjoying it?

Social media, if anything, has contributed ZERO to the stability of relationships - in fact, it has contributed negatively.
 

SSTrey

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We can say this about 95% of people out there. In fact, scratch that, 99%. Most of us are our own worst enemies.

The truth here is that she has some emotional needs that you're not satisfying, and it may not be possible for you to satisfy them without giving up some of your other commitments. Stare the truth in the face, and do what you have to do anyway. If she leaves you, so be it, you can't control other people, as hard as that is.

Your role in helping her is minimized by the fact that you have an interest in helping her. Getting her to accept the situation and remain with you. Therefore everything that you say is almost automatically discounted as you trying to get your own way, and hence being biased. If, on the other hand, her FRIENDS told her that she needs to be less needy and try to understand you more, then she would be a lot more open to it.

But guess what? All she has to do is pop up Instagram and see all the "other girls" going out, and taking vacations and what not. So how can she NOT want that, when she sees others like her around enjoying it?

Social media, if anything, has contributed ZERO to the stability of relationships - in fact, it has contributed negatively.
Some great advice here, thanks a lot.

Re social media, I agree with 110%. People just fail to understand that nobody really posts bad things happening in their lives (ie. hard times, sucky days, lack of money, love, etc). We only see boss couples travelling the world & being loving to each other. Yet people (incl my gf) just cannot see both ends of the stick.
 

Kevin88660

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The alternative though isn't the bum or mcd worker (SIDEWALKER). It's the well-to-do lawyer/doctor (and more recently programmer too), who isn't an entrepreneur but has a good/solid wage (ie a SLOWLANER), enabling them to have a nice house, a nice car, some investments, and some free time (in some cases more than the ambitious entrepreneurs you talk about, at least in the short run).

Don't forget that human beings are not good long-term thinkers for the most part, and neither are women, more specifically. And the way this game is played is that the hard-working Slowlaner with a power job is ahead of the game compared to the entrepreneur in the short run.
Most people prefer one bird in hands over more birds in the forest and most women are just no exception.
 

Maxxx17

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You have to have an understanding between partners. It's hard to build a business when the person you love doesn't support you. I met my girlfriend on a dating site https://well.dating . We live in different cities. And we rarely see each other. I started my own business. At first she supported me. But when it began to develop we began to see each other less often. She didn't like it. We started quarrels and misunderstandings... She forbade me to go to business meetings and business trips. It is difficult to combine work and a relationship. There should be some boundaries. Since you have to have time to pay attention to both of them.
 
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Johnny boy

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My girlfriend handles customer service, staying organized, keeping the house clean, cooking, planning things to do, shopping, etc.

I handle running things and making the money. She doesn't have to pay for a thing and enjoys living on the lake with me.

Avoid women who do not appreciate gender roles or want to pretend to be something they aren't. It's nothing but toxic energy you should keep away from.

We are both very happy.

I do have more leisure time now and I do spend more money, but I have such a solid foundation because of it that it's definitely worth it the extra cost and the time it takes up. She knows the business is my partner for life and if she doesn't like it there's plenty of slowlaners with no ambition to choose from.
 

Raja

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My girlfriend handles customer service, staying organized, keeping the house clean, cooking, planning things to do, shopping, etc.

I handle running things and making the money. She doesn't have to pay for a thing and enjoys living on the lake with me.

Avoid women who do not appreciate gender roles or want to pretend to be something they aren't. It's nothing but toxic energy you should keep away from.

We are both very happy.

I do have more leisure time now and I do spend more money, but I have such a solid foundation because of it that it's definitely worth it the extra cost and the time it takes up. She knows the business is my partner for life and if she doesn't like it there's plenty of slowlaners with no ambition to choose from.
Curious, is it good to mix relationship and business, from what i read on the internet. Its better to keep it separately as business stress could negatively impact relationship.

Though you are an exception my friend because of the systems you built.

In general what are your thoughts on that?
 

WillHurtDontCare

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It will piss off some feminists, but that is your role. You pick up where her father left off. She is wired to be protected and provided for by you.

As a man, you take the reigns. You provide, you teach, you BE the person that she can respect and look up to. Respect is also earned… A man can’t take his rightful place at the head of his household until he has a foundation worthy of respect built.

A lot of men will take what I say as, “be a tyrant.” If that’s what someone here thinks I said, keep rereading the above until you understand English.

^^^^^^

I've said this elsewhere, but the main reason that so many people have problems with authority is because so few people are worthy of it.

If you have integrity and know what you're doing, then you're an a**hole if you aren't leading your woman (and everyone else around you).

There are times when my gf (although apparently supportive) has an issue with me not having time.

If you're an ambitious dude, then women will always want more of you than you have time to give.
 

Johnny boy

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Curious, is it good to mix relationship and business, from what i read on the internet. Its better to keep it separately as business stress could negatively impact relationship.

Though you are an exception my friend because of the systems you built.

In general what are your thoughts on that?
If you have a cruddy girlfriend it might.

But I don't like putting my eggs into one basket, so when it makes sense I will have employees taking care of it. It's just right now I can trust her more than employees and if she leaves I would still be okay. It would just be a hassle.

We are having fun. She does get a little annoyed at me getting on her a$$ about mistakes but she's better for it.
 

WillHurtDontCare

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Curious, is it good to mix relationship and business, from what i read on the internet. Its better to keep it separately as business stress could negatively impact relationship.

Though you are an exception my friend because of the systems you built.

In general what are your thoughts on that?

Depends on your business and your relationship. I know a few millionaire husband and wife teams who run businesses together.

You just need to be objective about yourself, your partner, your relationship, and your business goals if you're going to go that route. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, and if you can swing it, you should pursue a relationship that will positively impact your business.
 

SteveO

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Avoid women who do not appreciate gender roles or want to pretend to be something they aren't. It's nothing but toxic energy you should keep away from.
I guess to each their own.

I'm on my 3rd marriage. Seems that I am somewhat of a pro at this. :)

My second marriage broke up as a result of business and practices. She wanted monthly income. I wanted large chunks of money and didn't care if it took 2 years to realize. Even though we had plenty of money in the bank and a fantastic lifestyle, she couldn't take uncertainty.

My current wife is NOT going to play any kind of a gender role. She is incredibly talented physically and mentally. She hits a golf ball farther than 99% of the men that play at our course (which is a full size 18 hole Arnold Palmer designed course). I have never witnessed another woman come close to her in person. She throws and hits a softball harder than I do. I'm not a slouch of an athlete. Been competing in sports all my life. She is simply a super stud.

I am willing to take risks more than her. I have found the need to do transactions without her blessing or signature on loan documents in the past. But we do work together in our business. She is an attorney by education but became an accountant and manager for our sake.

She would never bow in any way to a man.

But, she allows me to do almost anything I want. She also does not care if I don't spend time with her. She is incredibly independent which I really enjoy. We both have our interests and do them as much as we like. Of course we do things together when it is convenient.

I like our arrangement.
 

SteveO

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Depends on your business and your relationship. I know a few millionaire husband and wife teams who run businesses together.
My wife and I are a team. She actually does most of the work now while I bask in the retired life.
 

Knugs

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The alternative though isn't the bum or mcd worker (SIDEWALKER). It's the well-to-do lawyer/doctor (and more recently programmer too), who isn't an entrepreneur but has a good/solid wage (ie a SLOWLANER), enabling them to have a nice house, a nice car, some investments, and some free time (in some cases more than the ambitious entrepreneurs you talk about, at least in the short run).

Don't forget that human beings are not good long-term thinkers for the most part, and neither are women, more specifically. And the way this game is played is that the hard-working Slowlaner with a power job is ahead of the game compared to the entrepreneur in the short run.

Heres my take on it: I worked as a physician doing nights, weekends and unpredictable on-calls. I also did the startup life and had the "no matter what" working attitude.

In both instances the other half will critique it. They dislike it. They want you to be home at predictable times and be able to spend time with you. (btw, they also dont want you to be home all the time; it needs to be a healthy constellation).

There are two issues to that:
A) Its either a communication issue and you might not be transparent enough with her.

B) She isnt really supportive and cares a little bit too much about herself.

A you can work on but B is what you all need to really look out for. Most of the times they "support" but in reality the support is questionable. Its in very hard times you find out if she does really support or if she is only there to enjoy the ride.

And then can you really blame them for enjoying the ride? I mean I'm loyal af myself but at the same time there is somewhere a line with how much you would tolerate things.
 

seraphine

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When women see that you don't have time for them (THEIR time is highly biased btw, because you can never ever spend enough time with them) they automatically translate your lack of time as lack-of-time for them or no care for them or no interest in them or unfulfilling their needs, etc. AND in my case, that is so damn far from the truth.
I became kind of like this in my last relationship, but it was long-distance, and we didn't see each other for months because of the pandemic. Also, I found out he had cheated on me; he apologized and begged me to stay with him, I decided to give him a second chance, and then he didn't put the time or work in to build trust again. Wanting him to spend more time with me was less about the amount of time than about reassurance, trust, openness, and feeling connected.

Regarding gender roles, it seems nice in theory to have someone provide for you and so on, but I no longer want to put my destiny in someone else's hands.
 

robertwills

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I am eager to hear from the forum, what are your challenges with business/start ups/etc whilst having a gf/bf/husband/wife?
I am dating currently. I founded a startup & we have literally just launched. There are times when my gf (although apparently supportive) has an issue with me not having time.
I am not the type of guy to get bored easily or waste time. I try to balance what's important to me however my start up forever has those 'you don't know what you don't know, until you know it' moments & she does not get it. I feel like I have to explain & teach her daily.
It will not be any challenge at all if you are in a relationship where they understand the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. That is that it might take time, a lot of time, there may be periods of extreme difficultly and even total failure before you are financially well off and have free time at your disposal. There are lots of people who understand this well and that's what you need.

Then there are way more people who demand you bring in money, a good amount money, week after week starting NOW! These are people to avoid. They do not understand opportunity and what real wealth is.

The rock singer Robert Plant had a relationship with a woman before he made it big with Led Zeppelin. She gave him an ultimatum - me or the band. He knew he had to keep on keeping on with the music and he chose the band. I read an interview where he said something like "She now has a refrigerator and small car but look at me now.". I think that says it all.
 

BizyDad

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I always use Dwayne Johnson as the example. Women love him, great built, rich, successful, etc etc BUT I'm pretty sure his gf/wife doesn't feel the exact same because she has to deal with his insane training & work ethic ie. 4am wake ups, late night working etc etc.

I find this an interesting example to bring up.

Dwayne is divorced. But his ex wife is his primary business partner, even now. She runs/helps run 7 bucks productions. Last year, they bought the XFL together. As a professional bodybuilder and entrepreneur, she understands the insane training and early wake ups. She clearly "gets it" and shares/supports his entrepreneurial visions, 12 yrs after their divorce.

Just because two people make great business together doesn't guarantee marital bliss.

There's many ways to succeed in a relationship. And there's many more ways to fail.

All you can do is communicate, communicate, communicate, do your best to always show respect, and pray you always share a vision for the rest of your life.

And if it doesn't work out, well, sometimes it pays to keep the person in your life anyways...
 

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