How do i improve my communication skills?

[daftypunk]

I just had an internship interview and i feel like i completely messed it up; i stuttered and had little clarity of thought when they asked me questions. In simple i feel like i ws all over the place. This is probably the 2nd or third interview i have ever given in my life, so i don't care that i messed up; i just want to learn from it to make sure i can avoid the same mistakes again.
Because of covid social interaction has been very limited, and i havent really talked to people other than my family who i am very comfortable and confident talking to.
I guess i am confident talking to strangers as well, but i am not a good speaker.

Considering its covid, i cant really talk and interact with much people so
What book should i read? Should i take a communication skills course? Should i learn sales? I have many sales books at home just lying around.

 

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[Runum]

Congrats on trying. Was the interview face to face or zoom? You are 18? High school grad? College? What was the internship for? What did you do to prepare for this interview?

 

[daftypunk]

Congrats on trying. Was the interview face to face or zoom? You are 18? High school grad? College? What was the internship for? What did you do to prepare for this interview?

Thanks!
And yes the interview was on zoom. I am 18 years old and in my last year of highschool(2020-2021). The internship was for an NGO associated with the one of the best universities in my country.

Ngl, I didnt do much to prepare for this interview. I didn't know the type of questions they would ask and was unprepared . Turns out the questions were quite basic

• what are your hobbies,
• why are you doing this
• what does this word mean to you
• describe yourself in 3 words
• If you were a team leader, what would you do to motivate your team

But me being me, I was overconfident. Had i just prepared, or practiced speaking a bit before this interview i guess i could have done better.

Anywho what are your suggestions?

 

[Runum]

Thanks!
And yes the interview was on zoom. I am 18 years old and in my last year of highschool(2020-2021). The internship was for an NGO associated with the one of the best universities in my country.

Ngl, I didnt do much to prepare for this interview. I didn't know the type of questions they would ask and was unprepared . Turns out the questions were quite basic

• what are your hobbies,
• why are you doing this
• what does this word mean to you
• describe yourself in 3 words
• If you were a team leader, what would you do to motivate your team

But me being me, I was overconfident. Had i just prepared, or practiced speaking a bit before this interview i guess i could have done better.

Anywho what are your suggestions?

I am on the road at the moment. I will have some serious stuff for you this afternoon. This can be improved.

 

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[Timmy C]

It's root cause is giving to many F*cks what people think of you.

If you fix that you will be ok.

 

[Runum]

It's root cause is giving to many F*cks what people think of you.

If you fix that you will be ok.

To each his own.

If I am the employer you had better give a f+ck what i think or I won't write the checks for you anymore. Your choice. It's OK to have that attitude sometimes. But some times in life require a different tack. Sometimes you need to be an artist not a steamroller.

 

[Sethamus]

A few things for interviews and being comfortable.

The more you do it the better you will get. So apply for internships you may not actually want as bad as others and go through the interview process while you are young.

The main thing for me was you were not prepared at all. Doesn't matter the importance of the interview, you should do some prep. Look the company up on glassdoor and look at some of the asked interview questions. Write them down with your response.

Take a presentation course, hopefully with a good teacher. This will teach you communication skills along with body language.

Sometimes your body will get nervous even though you think you are not. I unfortunately get a shaky voice occasionally when leading a group meeting or when I use to present a project in college (I knew every single person). It came down to not being as prepared as I thought and realized after we started. Also, self motivation talk beforehand helps get you in the mindset, at least it does for me.

 

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[Ing]

when I was your age, there was a book, that helped me a lot in comunication things.
„How to get friends and influence people.“

Why does anyone say or ask something. How leads a conversation where. How can I seer that.
And so on.

Than talk to people!
Buy a motorcyle( or anything else; craiglist....) Talk and negotiate with the sellers. You don’t buy it in the end, but negotiate with somebody!

 

[Odysseus M Jones]

Buy a motorcyle( or anything else; craiglist....) Talk and negotiate with the sellers. You don’t buy it in the end, but negotiate with somebody!

Hopefully he'll find your eBay listing or t-shirt print shop & send you a million enquiries.

 

[Timmy C]

To each his own.

If I am the employer you had better give a f+ck what i think or I won't write the checks for you anymore. Your choice. It's OK to have that attitude sometimes. But some times in life require a different tack. Sometimes you need to be an artist not a steamroller.

Yeh I agree.

Obviously when you are at work it is a different story.

But I would still encourage OP to have a bit of that don't give a shit attitude at work.

Depending on your job it will help your confidence. But you have to always be professional.

In a work scenario I guess the best way to explain it would be to have an edge about you but also be professional.

It isn't about being an a**hole by not giving a F*ck.

It's more so about not being a pushover and generally not caring what others think.

I guess what i'm saying is i agree.

And it is more a art form.

 

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[Runum]

Alright, I put this together 10 years ago for my high school kid. She was trying to get a job in 2008-9 when no one was hiring. She worked my plan for a month and got 9 job offers. Then I revised it several years later while she was in college. Some of her ideas and revelations were included.

However, I just had to revise it again for the virtual world we live in now. Crazy how the rules of life change. Some of the old school strategies still work but some do not. Virtual interviews are going to be a tough challenge for both sides. Harder to read the other side, less reliable inputs.

Here is a link to my doc call "Get a Job" You are welcome to use it as you need. I hope it works for you.

Get-a-Job.docx

drive.google.com

You do need to practice a lot. I would have another person do several fake zoom interviews with you and record them. Then you both can review them and see the good and not so good.

I wish you good luck.

 

[Andy Black]

I loved doing interviews. I used to mess with their heads too, by being so excited and non-interviewee like. I don’t know if I’ve posted about it in the forum yet. It’s a dance. Break the dance as soon as to you can and just have a chat. Myself and @Kak touched on it here:

• Kak & Andy discuss the importance of building relationships in business

 

[Andy Black]

I think the biggest thing is mindset, which is what I think @Timmy C is referring to.

I go into interviews and calls as a *peer*. I’m on their level.

I’m interested in learning about them and what they do, whether we can create a win-win, and whether we’re a good fit or not. My goal is to walk away having made a new friend or at least had an interesting and fun conversation.

If they’re playing silly buggers by deliberately leaving me to wait in reception for a while then we’re not a good fit.

If they ask dumb HR questions off their list then we’re not a good fit.

If they don’t have manners then we’re not a good fit.

If they try to dominate the conversation or control the silence then we’re not a good fit.

I want to engage with them as a person, and not hide behind formalities.

Diesel and coffee.

 

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[Runum]

I think the biggest thing is mindset, which is what I think @Timmy C is referring to.

I go into interviews and calls as a *peer*. I’m on their level.

I’m interested in learning about them and what they do, whether we can create a win-win, and whether we’re a good fit or not. My goal is to walk away having made a new friend or at least had an interesting and fun conversation.

If they’re playing silly buggers by deliberately leaving me to wait in reception for a while then we’re not a good fit.

If they ask dumb HR questions off their list then we’re not a good fit.

If they don’t have manners then we’re not a good fit.

If they try to dominate the conversation or control the silence then we’re not a good fit.

I want to engage with them as a person, and not hide behind formalities.

Diesel and coffee.

Agree. However as an 18 yo high schooler it would be hard for them to see me as their peer at 40 years more experience. Most young men tryimg to approach me as a peer would come off as arrogant and very presumptive. Dont shine on the old man.

If the applicant has skills and brings experience to the table then we are peers. If they are interns they are there to learn but not be demeaned or belittled.

Maybe that thought process limits me?

I do agree about mannera being very important on both sides.

 

[daftypunk]

when I was your age, there was a book, that helped me a lot in comunication things.
„How to get friends and influence people.“

Why does anyone say or ask something. How leads a conversation where. How can I seer that.
And so on.

Than talk to people!
Buy a motorcyle( or anything else; craiglist....) Talk and negotiate with the sellers. You don’t buy it in the end, but negotiate with somebody!

Glad i bought it a long time back. Stayed on my shelves for very long, but i guess its time i read it.

Also, pm me your ebay listing. I wanna be one of those cool biker boys too.

 

[daftypunk]

Alright, I put this together 10 years ago for my high school kid. She was trying to get a job in 2008-9 when no one was hiring. She worked my plan for a month and got 9 job offers. Then I revised it several years later while she was in college. Some of her ideas and revelations were included.

However, I just had to revise it again for the virtual world we live in now. Crazy how the rules of life change. Some of the old school strategies still work but some do not. Virtual interviews are going to be a tough challenge for both sides. Harder to read the other side, less reliable inputs.

Here is a link to my doc call "Get a Job" You are welcome to use it as you need. I hope it works for you.

Get-a-Job.docx

drive.google.com

You do need to practice a lot. I would have another person do several fake zoom interviews with you and record them. Then you both can review them and see the good and not so good.

I wish you good luck.

Wow, this is gold.In fact this whole thread is @MJ DeMarco

Skimmed directly to the 'corona virus version' and realized that if i knew what the NGO did, it would have made a better impression. Missed so many things, but glad i asked this question here.

 

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[daftypunk]

Agree. However as an 18 yo high schooler it would be hard for them to see me as their peer at 40 years more experience. Most young men tryimg to approach me as a peer would come off as arrogant and very presumptive. Dont shine on the old man.

Maybe that thought process limits me?

I do agree about mannera being very important on both sides.

Exactly, i think i would come off as rude if i approached a 40 year old man like that.
Rather i would see them as a mentor or a teacher who i can from, while providing value to them, because i have seen that many old people/adults love to give advice to young people.

Then again in this case, the aim of the 40 year old is to hire someone valuable and hardworking while the 18 year old yearns for experience and pay. So perhaps what will matter most for the 40 year old is the thought process of the 18 year old. One can tell a lot about a person based on how he thinks and his non-verbal behaviours.

 

[daftypunk]

I loved doing interviews. I used to mess with their heads too, by being so excited and non-interviewee like. I don’t know if I’ve posted about it in the forum yet. It’s a dance. Break the dance as soon as to you can and just have a chat. Myself and @Kak touched on it here:

• Kak & Andy discuss the importance of building relationships in business

Being non interviewee and excited is how interviews should be.
Last year i had a high school interview and it went amazing because the interviewer ( the principal in this case) made me feel at ease and i felt like i had some sort of bond with her. Ended up acing it and going to that same college. Makes a huge difference.

 

[Ismail941]

Getting a phone call about Job Interview is already an "Opportunity" aka Halfway there to crush the Job Interview.

Getting recruited from the Job Interview: It is about Persuasion, Marketing/How do you present yourself & study reverse psychology.
Ask yourself: What would you do if you were the CEO of the Company.
A successful company wants a winner person, not a slacker.

Overconfident = You were cocky

When it comes to job interview, you should have research the company and see what they are really looking for.

Find the gap and this is where you come in as a Value Adder and do not ask anything in return.

 

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[sparechange]

really simple, go out and small talk cashiers. I actually find it interesting and fun, the best part is they can't leave, so talk their ears off (ok maybe kidding about that)

 

[Andy Black]

However as an 18 yo high schooler it would be hard for them to see me as their peer at 40 years more experience. Most young men tryimg to approach me as a peer would come off as arrogant and very presumptive. Dont shine on the old man.

By peer I mean a human being of equal value who comes to the table for a value exchange. It’s all about creating a win-win. I knew when I had less skills and experience that what I brought to the table was energy, enthusiasm, honesty, personality, work ethics, manners, etc. I played up to them. I still do.

 

[NanetteD]

I would say, for the next time. Show initiative, ask intelligent questions and be open. I have seen people at interviews who were so nervous, but couldn't escape the belief that 'that wasn't ok'. Which made it so much more worse. Be open about what's going on. If you're nervous, there's tons of ways to break the ice simply by stating that you are.

Practice practice practice. Get interviews. If you don't for a while, practice asking smart questions on anybody you meet about their roles, responsibilities, companies and such.

You got this!

 

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[Sethamus]

An internship or any starting position means you have very little to no skills. One part I liked about getting the interview turned into a conversation by @Andy Black is that you need to know what they will do for you. If the person giving the interview is a potential mentor then you need to ask them how they intend to mentor you through this business and if not them what type of mentorship is available. A lot of low level jobs do not require this and a lot of managers do not know how to provide this. Watch out for both, as a job not requiring mentoring probably doesn't have potential for future advancement and a management team that cannot provide you with the mentorship you need is a team you do not want to be on.

 

[WJK]

I just had an internship interview and i feel like i completely messed it up; i stuttered and had little clarity of thought when they asked me questions. In simple i feel like i ws all over the place. This is probably the 2nd or third interview i have ever given in my life, so i don't care that i messed up; i just want to learn from it to make sure i can avoid the same mistakes again.
Because of covid social interaction has been very limited, and i havent really talked to people other than my family who i am very comfortable and confident talking to.
I guess i am confident talking to strangers as well, but i am not a good speaker.

Considering its covid, i cant really talk and interact with much people so
What book should i read? Should i take a communication skills course? Should i learn sales? I have many sales books at home just lying around.

Yes, read books. Yes, you need practice. I have done many things to be a better communicator.

When this virus is over, join Toastmasters -- that a speaking club where everyone gets to speak and then gets feedback -- they tell you what you've done wrong. Wonderful place to practice your public speaking.

Join a debate club. Again, it's good practice.

Practice speaking to strangers. If you screw up -- no harm, no foul. You'll never see them again, so your mistakes get a free pass.

Use your ears and mouth in the proportions that God gave them to you. Learn to ask questions. Listen twice as much as you speak. People's favorite subject is themselves. If you ask the right questions, they tell you EVERYTHING -- probably more than you wanna know. Drawing others out is a real art.

Figure out what the person is going to ask you or say before you get into the conversation. Most of your questions will only have around 3 possible answers. That truism makes preparing for an interview or conversation much easier.

When you speak, pause first and put your thought together. It will give you a moment to become precise.

The fewer words you use, the better. I once saw a shrink you seldom spoke in our sessions. When he did, he said brilliant stuff. It was usually a one-liner that summed up the whole subject. I had just graduated from law school and I was in my mid-40s. After all that pain and expense, I was discovering that I did NOT want to be an attorney. After listening to me ramble on about my doubts, he finally told me, "It's your education; you can do whatever you want with it." That hand full of words changed my whole life.

 

[john3583]

I just had an internship interview and i feel like i completely messed it up; i stuttered and had little clarity of thought when they asked me questions. In simple i feel like i ws all over the place. This is probably the 2nd or third interview i have ever given in my life, so i don't care that i messed up; i just want to learn from it to make sure i can avoid the same mistakes again.
Because of covid social interaction has been very limited, and i havent really talked to people other than my family who i am very comfortable and confident talking to.
I guess i am confident talking to strangers as well, but i am not a good speaker.

Considering its covid, i cant really talk and interact with much people so
What book should i read? Should i take a communication skills course? Should i learn sales? I have many sales books at home just lying around.

Try using Alexa. They have bots in experimental stage. It can get frustrating but that's part of any interview process because you're challenged to come up with a complete answer and you might be misundertsood. Alexa is a great tool to help you enunciate and respond without hesitation. She will cut you off.

 

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[SkyLake]

Make 1,000 cold calls.

 

[Johnny boy]

Start asking out girls

 

[Koen_88]

I just had an internship interview and i feel like i completely messed it up; i stuttered and had little clarity of thought when they asked me questions. In simple i feel like i ws all over the place. This is probably the 2nd or third interview i have ever given in my life, so i don't care that i messed up; i just want to learn from it to make sure i can avoid the same mistakes again.
Because of covid social interaction has been very limited, and i havent really talked to people other than my family who i am very comfortable and confident talking to.
I guess i am confident talking to strangers as well, but i am not a good speaker.

Considering its covid, i cant really talk and interact with much people so
What book should i read? Should i take a communication skills course? Should i learn sales? I have many sales books at home just lying around.

I'd say look for a book or course on NLP (there's a fairly good one on Udemy). NLP has been really insightfull to me regarding to interpersonal and professional communication. Though my experience is through live classes/course, I think you can pick up some nuggets from an online course or a book.

 

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[Xeon]

 

[Raja]

NLP

Neuro-Linguistic Programming or Natural Language processing