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GOLD! Fastlane Parenting (Tips, Tactics...)

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GoGetter24

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Perhaps it's just not a simple as homeschool vs school...

Really, it's the early years that school gets the most right. As long as they're being exposed to social situations, being taught how to read and write, it's pretty hard to get it wrong.

It's the later years that are the biggest problem. People should be active in the real world by 15, not 23. The problem is a mixture of a diminishing return problem and an insufficient branching speed problem, among others.

The most damaging thing a parent can ever do is base their parenting around protection. However much you disagree with the way society at large does things: that society is the space in which your kids are going to have to operate. The more insulated they have been, the bigger failures they'll end up on their death beds. They need hardening. And since the beginning of schooling is inherently hardening, and the later stages are softening, that indicates the best way to approach it.

All parents should be wary of doing what's best for themselves, instead of what's best for their offspring and under that pretense.
 
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max momo

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Great thread, fantastic topic (one of the most important) and solid posts!

Will add what I thought missing: Have the child work IN the business, then ON the business so they have the skills to manage their own money and business down the road.

Tactic: In the US, if you have a sole proprietorship or partnership, you can pay your child to work in your business. If you pay less than $2,000 per year you do not pay FICA, social security and other employment taxes.

That @$2,000 per year (a business expense reducing taxable income) then goes into a Coverdell ESA (like an IRA) where profits grow tax free. The benefit of a Coverdell over a 529 plan is you can use tax free growth in the Coverdell to fund educational expenses (not just tuition) and the Coverdell is self directed (you are not very limited in investment choices).

A 529 plan you can only contribute to a series of limited account options and only use money for tuition.

In the Coverdell you can use gains for educational expenses. So, the kids get to buy a computer to track their expenses, assets and investments – and eventually can direct those investments – while investing in themselves!

(The only limitation is the phase out for parents making $220K. In this regard the workaround is you must give 2k to various relatives to open accounts)

A child earns and directs the growing fruits of their labor in their own security portfolios and spends only on business/life education = many life lessons.

Hope this helps…
 

andyhaus44

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Speaking of parenting books, "How to be a great dad" by Keith Zafren is the best parenting book I've ever read. The cover looks very cheesy but the content inside of it is great.

If anyone wants my summary, please send me a message. Sharing great content is one of the many things I really enjoy

Yes, a lot of it's on the fly.

You react to the fly, based on your instincts. Your instincts are formed from a combination of how your parents raised you, how you have observed kids being raised in your world, your own thoughts on how those types of situations should be handled, and what you're learned and read on the subject.

There is a definite difference in the effectiveness of how I handle discipline situations before I read a book on the subject, and after. That's because I had no concept of what effective discipline should look like, before I read a book, so my instincts were pretty lousy.

I don't really believe that there isn't a book on some subject of parenting that wouldn't improve some aspect of our parenting. Same with any other subject.

Kids aren't cookie cutters, sure, and not every strategy works with every kid, but surely there's something worth learning in a book.
 

Patrickg

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I have 3 kids, 7, 4, and 1. We homeschool. Always have and always will unless they request otherwise.

Key is being on the same page with your spouse. My wife is amazing and has learned a LOT about homeschooling and basically runs that entire side of the house while I run the finances. We picked a home in a great community full of kids our kids ages. They get plenty of socialization. We have also joined homeschool groups in town that we meet up with all the time for "field trips" get togethers, and sometimes even lessons on certain subjects.

There is a lot of good material out there for homeschooling all depending on what style you want. From very free range to structured syllabus.

We love it. Sure we sometimes think how fun it would be to be able to get rid of the kids sometimes and have the day to ourselves while the kids are away at school. I think that's the only negative we have. And even then it's fleeting because best time of the day at the parks/museums/etc. is when all the other kids are in school :)


I agree it's so great to go to parks on a Tuesday when the scripted are working and in schools! Really makes you see how many people are scripted...

Rant /

I realized this at the lake. Try to go boating Saturday or July 4th... and your fighting traffic all day.

Go at 1:00 pm on a Wednesday and it's you and one old retired fishermen. And this is a massive lake.

I love being unscripted !

/ rant over
 

andyhaus44

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I've start introducing a "game token" system so that they have to actually WORK for entertainment, even at this age. Clean their room and they get a 30 minute credit. Help someone or give up something they want to someone else they'll get another. Etc... trying to instill a strong sense of "working for your fun".

JAJT, does that mean they have to work in order to play video games? (If so, I love it!)
 

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Love when this thread gets bumped in my notifications, I like adding to it.

Right now I'm in Europe with the family for a 2.5 month trip...

My 1 and 3 year olds are immersed in a different culture. I'm taking them a few days a week to an "open preschool" where parents and kids come together. We do songs in their language and they play with kids that don't speak any English.

In 2 weeks my daughter has gone from being apprehensive and scared at meeting kids that don't speak English, to embracing the challenge, and asking me about how to say things "in this place".

My kids are learning freedom. We can leave and do cool things, that other people don't get to do, because I have a business, not a job.

@amp0193, I think that if homeschooling kids gives them opportunities such as the ones that your kids are experiencing, then what a great opportunity.
The following are some points to consider for people who are trying to decide, and keep in mind that I love public schools and teachers (a little personal info, so you know my perspective: I attended both public and private schools. My kids are grown and both attended public schools. I have been a school counselor at all levels in public schools, and I am a former chemistry teacher):
1. Outsource subjects that are a weakness to the parent. For example, if the parent is bad at math, let someone else teach the kids math.
2. Each level of education involves different types of patience and skills, and these attributes in the parent might help them determine in which grades they will homeschool their children. I was very comfortable teaching secondary science and even math, but I would have not been comfortable teaching an elementary child how to read. High school teachers in Texas often have a degree or at least a lot of college hours in the subject they teach. It would be hard, in my opinion, for a homeschooling parent to become equally knowledgeable in the broad range of subjects that a public high school in a good school district offers. Probably, though, a local community college might offer dual credit opportunities.
3. Public schools offer an opportunity for children to socialize with people who are not like themselves or their own families. They will interact (at least in our area) with a very diverse population, both from a socioeconomic and an abilities standpoint. (@amp0193 is achieving this, anyway)
4. Public schools offer great possibilities for involvement in activiites, from clubs, to sports, to fine arts. Some kids like playing as part of an orchestra, singing in a choir, and being a member of a football team. These opportunities can be provided at home and in the community, too, but they aren't necessarily like the activities-buffet that schools offer.
5. A kid can squeeze a great education out of a public school.
6. As a school counselor, problems that I have seen from kids entering the public school system after having been homeschooled are: weaknesses in areas not taught well and difficulty interacting with peers. However, I might only see the cases where homeschooling didn't work, because if it's successful, then I would think that the parent would have no need to enroll their kid in a public school.
7. Be cautious about planning to reenter public school if high school is already in progress, because validating credits earned could become an issue.
8. Be cautious about applying my thoughts to your situation, because I don't know your circumstances, you, or your kids, and laws and procedures vary by state and school district.

I hope this information helps those of you trying to make a decision, or at least helps you avoid some pitfallls.
 

G. Wellthy

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@amp0193, I think that if homeschooling kids gives them opportunities such as the ones that your kids are experiencing, then what a great opportunity.
The following are some points to consider for people who are trying to decide, and keep in mind that I love public schools and teachers (a little personal info, so you know my perspective: I attended both public and private schools. My kids are grown and both attended public schools. I have been a school counselor at all levels in public schools, and I am a former chemistry teacher):
1. Outsource subjects that are a weakness to the parent. For example, if the parent is bad at math, let someone else teach the kids math.
2. Each level of education involves different types of patience and skills, and these attributes in the parent might help them determine in which grades they will homeschool their children. I was very comfortable teaching secondary science and even math, but I would have not been comfortable teaching an elementary child how to read. High school teachers in Texas often have a degree or at least a lot of college hours in the subject they teach. It would be hard, in my opinion, for a homeschooling parent to become equally knowledgeable in the broad range of subjects that a public high school in a good school district offers. Probably, though, a local community college might offer dual credit opportunities.
3. Public schools offer an opportunity for children to socialize with people who are not like themselves or their own families. They will interact (at least in our area) with a very diverse population, both from a socioeconomic and an abilities standpoint. (@amp0193 is achieving this, anyway)
4. Public schools offer great possibilities for involvement in activiites, from clubs, to sports, to fine arts. Some kids like playing as part of an orchestra, singing in a choir, and being a member of a football team. These opportunities can be provided at home and in the community, too, but they aren't necessarily like the activities-buffet that schools offer.
5. A kid can squeeze a great education out of a public school.
6. As a school counselor, problems that I have seen from kids entering the public school system after having been homeschooled are: weaknesses in areas not taught well and difficulty interacting with peers. However, I might only see the cases where homeschooling didn't work, because if it's successful, then I would think that the parent would have no need to enroll their kid in a public school.
7. Be cautious about planning to reenter public school if high school is already in progress, because validating credits earned could become an issue.
8. Be cautious about applying my thoughts to your situation, because I don't know your circumstances, you, or your kids, and laws and procedures vary by state and school district.

I hope this information helps those of you trying to make a decision, or at least helps you avoid some pitfallls.

this came up at family dinner recently; my father has seen so many kids over his orthodontic career and has a strong opinion from his personal experiences.

home schooling can be quite dangerous from a social-growth perspective for the child. While it is true that the educational experience in many schools lacks (and there is room in this community to see the need for "higher" education for teens and build supplementary educational experiences) what it provides in teaching kids to generally interact, to gain empathy, self-esteem, communication skills and most importantly in my opinion, to fail.

An attitude that "I know best and I can deliver a better education than the public system" is almost resolutely correct. I take no issue with that perspective. But that opinion sits in deep contrast to the public setting, where learning from mistakes, interacting with worse opinions, and possibly even, finding and seeking better opinions is a risk worth taking!
 

amp0193

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Here is a great video on how to raise kids with high self-esteem --

Thanks for that share, the dude is clearly a master.

I'm bad about getting pictures printed and framed. Haven't put a new picture of my daughter on the wall in 2 years. I can see the value of it though. I LOVE the idea of framing a pic of the kids doing something they're good at and hanging it in the bedroom.

Self esteem really is everything.
 

andyhaus44

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Thanks for that share, the dude is clearly a master.

I'm bad about getting pictures printed and framed. Haven't put a new picture of my daughter on the wall in 2 years. I can see the value of it though. I LOVE the idea of framing a pic of the kids doing something they're good at and hanging it in the bedroom.

Self esteem really is everything.
You're welcome, my pleasure to share it. Here are my takeaways from the video:

*The reason it's so important to have their self esteem in tact is that all growth occurs when a risk is taken

*When you want to build high self esteem among young children, the child has to really learn and experience that he's lovable, capable and significant

*Loveable means time, it means hugging. It means play, it means accepting their feelings as authentic and there's nothing wrong with being angry

*Provide time for children to talk about their feelings. One of the things Jack teaches is called a Heart Talk, or family time - circle time, where everybody gathers together in a circle and talks about something going on in their life that they have feelings about

*A technique that's really helpful to build self esteem in young kids is to make sure that in their bedroom, there's a picture of them with the family so they feel connected, they feel apart of something and a picture of something they do really well, like playing a game or maybe they got a baseball bat or they're playing with their dolls but something they enjoy doing, and that they do really well so that every time their lying in bed or they're just in their room, they think "Oh yeah, my family loves me and I'm really good at what I do."

Significant means that I matter, that other people care about my existence so they need to be listened to

*One of the greatest skills a parent can learn is reflective listening, which is the idea of repeating back what children say

By the way, today is my little guys 2nd birthday :)
Got him a 1 oz silver coin that says "Happy birthday!" plus 1 share of PBS (Freedom) since he likes Daniel Tiger. One of his favorite words right now is "cake" so I got him a Quest birthday cake protein bar for a treat and as a reminder for me to stay fit so I can teach him healthy habits and be a good example (Fitness). This weekend he will be surrounded by my wife and I, his grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. (Family)
 

andyhaus44

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Brian Tracy’s 21 key ways to love your child:

Tell them how important they are all the time

Praise them regularly. Praise them often. Praise them for anything that's big or small; that raises their self esteem more than anything else

Accept and love them unconditionally. Refuse to be judgmental or critical. Smile at them whenever you see them. Teach them so that you're so glad to see them. Every time you walk in, you should brighten up like a Christmas tree

Tell them how proud you are of them for everything that they do. Children love to be told how proud their parents are of them

Get down to their level physically when you relate to them. Sit down at a low level - at eye level - get down onto the floor with them. Get down to their level - hunker down if you like and be cool

Appreciate them and thank them for everything that they do. There's nothing like the words "thank you" to make a child feel valuable and important. Repeat it over and over

Never criticize them for something that can't be changed, which means don't criticize them for past events. If they make a mistake, discuss it, decide what they've learned and then let it go and never bring it up again

Never complain or try to make them feel guilty for not pleasing you in some way. Remember, you're the parent; the child's job is not to please you. The child's job is to realize his or her potential

Pay close attention to them when they talk or express their opinions. Listen to them closely like they were your boss at work and when you listen to your children closely, they feel valuable and important, and it has an effect on their whole lives

Admire them for their accomplishments, large and small. Whenever they accomplish anything, say "Boy that's really great!"

Compliment them for every achievement. Everybody loves a compliment, it really raises self esteem

Tell them that you love them all the time. You cannot tell a child too much too often that you love them. By the way, you can practice that with your spouse as well

Always expect the best. Always believe in them. Always tell them "I have complete confidence in you. I expect you to do well."

Put everything aside when they have a need or when they want to talk to you. Turn off the television. Shut your newspaper. Close the book. Put everything apart and listen to them single mindedly, like they're the most important people in the world

Never use your adult power to force them or make them do things. Rather than that, discuss and get agreement. Don't use your power - "You do this my way or you're going to be in trouble." All that does is it makes them angry, it makes them buy their time to get even. Instead, talk to them as equals. Discuss, negotiate and agree. Tell them what you want them to do, tell them what you feel is best and why

Talk to them as though they are mature, intelligent people - even when they're infants. Even when they're children, never use baby talk. Always use straight, honest talk and they'll grow up and that's the way they'll talk to you

Ask for their opinions on matters that affect them. Ask for their opinions about their school, about where we go for dinner, about what we do in our Christmas vacation about how we spend our time. Always ask for their input so that they'll know that their inputs are important

Tell them about your work, what you do and ask for their insights and ideas. "What do you think about this?" and "What do you think about that?" and "I've got this problem at work; how would you handle it?" Sometimes kids will come up with ideas that'll just knock you out of their socks they're so good

Bring them small gifts and leave them little notes whenever you can

Make it clear that you love them 100%, 100% of the time

Treat your spouse with love and respect in their presence. The kindest thing that you can do for your children is to love your husband or love your wife on their presence - that will do more for them to grow up strong, confident and able to form long lasting, happy relationships and raise great children like your raising great children as well
 

andyhaus44

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Thank you for the rep, @Andy Black

By the way, it gets better ;)

Here is Brian Tracy’s ‘Secrets of Raising Super Kids’

One of the most important things that we do as a parent is when your children are in any thing at school - at any age - crawl over broken glass to be there. Physically be there on the audience, even if your child has a 5 or 10 second walk on part, because kids will never say this but there's something so extraordinary for them to know that their parents are out there smiling and cheering for them; it's absolutely wonderful

Males learn their ideas of how to treat women by looking at the way their father treats their mother. The greatest thing that you can do for your children is to love their mother. The greatest thing for your children overall is to love your spouse

It takes about 15 years to teach a child table manners

It's not a great idea to make children clean their plate because if you're taught to clean your plate, what will happen is you'll start to feel guilty if you don't eat everything that's put in front of you and sometimes what's put in front of you is too much, or maybe you put too much there so telling children to eat until they're satisfied - when they're no longer hungry - is a good habit for children to develop

You must become the greatest single source of love, encouragement and unconditional positive regard and reinforcement for your child. Children come into the world and they respond to the people who love them the most. If you want to have an inordinate impact on your children, you become the primary source of love and respect in their life.

Children have an incredible need for love and touching during the formative years. You cannot love and touch a child too much when they're in their infant years. As they get a little bit older, they won't need it as much but when they're young, you can't give them too much

With regards to effective parents, they are very clear about their values, about their behaviors and about what is acceptable. Good parents create clear boundaries

The greater clarity you have with regard to what is right and wrong behavior and what is acceptable and not acceptable without being rigid or destructively critical, the happier and healthier your children will be

Effective parents have positive expectations of their children. They expect their children to do well and they express this in word and deed

Here's one of the rules, one of the great rules of life: Never criticize your child for something they can't change. Never criticize a child for something they can't change. All past events are things they can't change. You never criticize a child for making a mistake, for dropping the ball, for getting into trouble

When your kid gets into trouble, what you do is say "Well, you got into trouble - tell me what happened." Say "What did you learn?" "Well I learned this. Next time this happens, I'm not going to do that." then say "Well that's a good lesson. You know I had this happen to me once and you know one of the things I learned?"

Talk about it as though it happened to a neighbor child. Just throw it off but you never criticize your children for something they can't change, because if you criticize a child for something that had happened in the past, it makes them frustrated, it makes them defensive, it makes them angry. They can't do anything about it so what you do is you say "Alright. What did we learn from this experience?" and especially these words: "What are you going to do next time? What are you going to do the next time this happens?"

Force your kids to think about what they're going to do next time and you'll be absolutely amazed at how positive they are, how smart they are, how much smarter they become, how they help their friends evaluate, they evaluate themselves and so on

Give your children 100% unconditional love by telling them from the time they are infants "I love you 100%, 100% of the time. I will never love you anything less than 100%. I will never love you 99% - it's always 100%. That doesn't mean that we won't argue and we won't disagree but by gum, I love you 100%." Make it clear there's nothing your children can do in the entire world that would ever cause you to love them less than 100%

Every so often, Brian asks his children, "How much do I love you?" and they say "100%." Now that they're grown up, he asks them "Do you ever doubt how much I love you?" and they say "Absolutely not. You love us 100% no matter what you say or no matter what we do."

Whenever Brian has to come down on his kids, he says "You know, I love you very much, but you mustn't do this." "I love you very much, but you've got to stop doing that." "I love you very much but you mustn't poke your little sister." "I love you very much, but you mustn't run around with that because you could get hurt." He always precedes a set of instructions with "I love you very much, but.." so it's very important

One of the most important things you do for your family is basically you setup a mission statement for your family - you decide in advance what your family mission statement is going to be. Here is Brian's, which is most consistent with that of most happy families: "To create an environment where each child feels free to realize his or her potential within a climate of love, appreciation, respect and safety."

One of the most important things you do in a family philosophy is you cultivate values and the two most important values are the values of truthfulness and responsibility.

If you want to grow children with strong character who become leaders with wisdom, tenacity, purpose, high levels of self confidence and self esteem, give them lots of responsibility. Give them age appropriate responsibilities. The more responsibility you give them, the better you'll bring them up

The other value that you raise your children with is truthfulness - encourage them to always tell the truth

When Brian gave his kids a daddy promise, they knew that they could take that to the bank and so they'd say "Is that a daddy promise?" He'd say "No, that's not a daddy promise. I'll do my best here but I can't promise you." Or he would say "Yes, that's a daddy promise." As soon as they heard it was a daddy promise, they would light up and walk away because they knew it was a slam dunk

One of the most important things you do is to have family dinners as often as you possibly can and leave the television and radio off when you're having family dinner. Make it a rule to never have the television on when the family is eating together because when the television is off, a vacuum is created. When a vacuum is created, what happens is everybody talks to each other and as they're eating, because it releases endorphins in their brain, they warm up and they become more personable and they talk, share and exchange what's going on in their lives

At the family dinner table, you make that one of the most enjoyable places of your life. You'll always talk and exchange - especially you ask them how they're doing, ask them how their day was. "What was the best thing that happened to you today?" "What did you learn today?" "What's going on in your life?" Encourage your children to kind of lead the conversation at the family dinner table

If you raise your children so that they are honest and they have a reputation for honesty and if they accept responsibility, those two qualities will raise them as leaders

How do you raise responsible children with self-mastery, self-control, self-discipline? There's only one way and that is to be a role model yourself. Children observe their parents and ignore anything their parents say. They watch their parents hundreds and thousands of times and children absorb like a sponge

One of the most wonderful things you can say to your children is "I made a mistake. I'm sorry, I was wrong." and go and tell them "I'm not perfect." - especially if ever you shout at your children

One of your jobs is to create big chunks of time - 30, 60, 90 minutes - take your children for drives and never listen to the radio when you're driving with a child. When you're driving with your child, ask them questions and just listen

Leave the television off. Leave the music off. Get out, walk around. Create large chunks of time so you can just hang and connect with your children

They studied 8,000 schools and hundreds of thousands - millions of students - to find out what are the great predictors of scholastic success and #1 is the parents attitude toward their schoolwork - is parents encourage their children to do their school work, parents encourage their children to do their homework. Parents ask about their homework and make sure it's done
 
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amp0193

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Wow @andyhaus... lots of solid advice here!

Too much to ever get right, but it's good to read it and have it in mind.
 

1step

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Glad that this post was bumped when I checked the forum yesterday.
I have a 7 month old now and recently have been thinking about how to be the best parent possible and Fastlane parenting. Thanks to all who have contributed great to hear from people who have done it or are doing it!
Tagging @csalvato
 

chuckypita

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I have 3 kids, 7, 4, and 1. We homeschool. Always have and always will unless they request otherwise.

Key is being on the same page with your spouse. My wife is amazing and has learned a LOT about homeschooling and basically runs that entire side of the house while I run the finances. We picked a home in a great community full of kids our kids ages. They get plenty of socialization. We have also joined homeschool groups in town that we meet up with all the time for "field trips" get togethers, and sometimes even lessons on certain subjects.

There is a lot of good material out there for homeschooling all depending on what style you want. From very free range to structured syllabus.

We love it. Sure we sometimes think how fun it would be to be able to get rid of the kids sometimes and have the day to ourselves while the kids are away at school. I think that's the only negative we have. And even then it's fleeting because best time of the day at the parks/museums/etc. is when all the other kids are in school :)
This is VERY intriguing to me for numerous reasons....

#1 - I work for the government - in education....
#2 - I've considered homeschooling...
#3 - I believe there is validity in both systems...

That being said, do you have a "homeschooling system" that you use? I've often thought about building on an online "homeschool" program.
 

chuckypita

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this came up at family dinner recently; my father has seen so many kids over his orthodontic career and has a strong opinion from his personal experiences.

home schooling can be quite dangerous from a social-growth perspective for the child. While it is true that the educational experience in many schools lacks (and there is room in this community to see the need for "higher" education for teens and build supplementary educational experiences) what it provides in teaching kids to generally interact, to gain empathy, self-esteem, communication skills and most importantly in my opinion, to fail.

An attitude that "I know best and I can deliver a better education than the public system" is almost resolutely correct. I take no issue with that perspective. But that opinion sits in deep contrast to the public setting, where learning from mistakes, interacting with worse opinions, and possibly even, finding and seeking better opinions is a risk worth taking!

Two words.... TIM TEBOW
 

Ninjakid

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If your kid is really likes something. ENCOURAGE THE f*ck OUT OF IT.

You have no idea how many kids wasted their lives and talents because parents never encouraged their talents, and taught them the only way to be of any use is to sit in a classroom for 12 years then find a mediocre job.

You might as well instil passion and work ethic from a young age.
 

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This is VERY intriguing to me for numerous reasons....

#1 - I work for the government - in education....
#2 - I've considered homeschooling...
#3 - I believe there is validity in both systems...

That being said, do you have a "homeschooling system" that you use? I've often thought about building on an online "homeschool" program.
We don't really have a system we follow. We are more on the 'unschooling' train. We teach them to read and do math, but otherwise we just learn what's interesting to them at the time. We are a part of a few local groups and do weekly get togethers and things like that as well.

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amp0193

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Parenting fail this last couple of weeks.

The one thing I always did well was to keep work at work, get home early, spend lots of time with the family.

Well, things have been pretty crazy, and I started getting into the habit of coming home at 5, then I pushed it to 5:30, then 6:00. And shit, I missed dinner the last two days in a row, and my kids were asking where I was.

If I wanted to live like that, I'd have just kept the dayjob!

I'll be leaving work no later than 4pm next week.
 

amp0193

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On the flipside, parenting win:

I had to go downtown to visit a textile supplier/factory/warehouse. I brought the kids along with me.

They got to see daddy doing what he does. And then got a full-on Mr. Rogers style tour of the facility. Looking at the big machines, the big rolls of fabric. We watched people using industrial sewing machines for a while. Also a good opportunity for them where the things in our life come from.

Then, because we were already downtown, I took them to the kid's museum and a big lego exhibit. Dropped em off at the daycare after naptime, and went to do a few hours of work.

Business kept chugging along in my absence that day.
 

andyhaus44

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This course may seem too expensive but I can assure you that it’s a great course. I’ve taken it once and am taking it over again. It’s the best investment I’ve made as a parent —


I have no affiliation with them; I just highly recommend this course

By the way, here are the recommend books from the course -

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale

Whale Done Parenting by Ken Blanchard

The Compound effect by Darren Hardy

The magic of thinking big by David Schwartz

Secrets of the millionaire mind by T Harv Eker

Dotcom Secrets by Russell Brunson

Think and Grow Rich

The Success Principles

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Positive dog by Jon Gordon

Rich Dad Poor Dad

Winning with people by John Maxwell

The winning attitude by John Maxwell

Be a people person by John Maxwell

Mind Gym

Relentless

How to raise a Gentleman

Solomon’s book of Proverbs (There’s a lot of wisdom in it so it’s a good read no matter what your beliefs are)
 

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This course may seem too expensive but I can assure you that it’s a great course. I’ve taken it once and am taking it over again. It’s the best investment I’ve made as a parent —

Great why?

What were the big takeaways?

$300 is a lot for something I know nothing about.
 

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It's great because the content is awesome and because it's refreshing to hear the course from a high energy, successful parent. Here are some of my notes.

Nothing on earth can help a person with the wrong mental attitude and nothing on earth can stop a person with the right mental attitude.” - Oprah Winfrey

It is our primary responsibility to instill the right attitude in our kids so that they better energy, so that they feel better about themselves and so people want to be around them

  1. Consistently teach the power of positive thinking. Read the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale together with your son or daughter. The moment that Matt started to place a priority on positive thinking, Caleb became energetic and had more enthusiasm
  2. Train your kids on reactions and responses that are positive. Most parents let negative reactions slide but Matt gave him consistent training on reacting positively
  3. Accentuate the positive. Catch your kids doing right and brag on it like crazy. Read the book Whale Done Parenting (was a life changing book for Matt). The more Matt celebrated Caleb doing right, the more Caleb would do right
  4. Don’t allow your kids to speak negative words — don’t say negative words about yourself, other people or circumstances. Speak positive words and think positive results. Be intentional
  5. Speak life over your kids and encourage them everyday. “I’m proud of you” is nice, but be specific. “I’m proud of you because you opened the door for the couple at the mall.” is better. Your kids need to know that you believe in them and that you’re their biggest fan
  6. Practice gratitude everyday - go on gratitude walks and name 10 things you’re grateful for. Intentionally do this as a family. Write thank you cards to people
  7. Be the most positive and enthusiastic person your child has ever met. Set the example of positive thinking, positive words and a positive attitude

Your home ought to be your kids happiest, most peaceful place on earth. It’s all about the energy and atmosphere we create at home


How to avoid the 7 negative emotions:

  1. Don’t allow yourself to get bitter. On a daily basis, you’ve got to practice forgiveness.
  2. Stress - handle it well through exercise, giving, positive thinking and healthy eating. Protect your home from stress. Laugh and have fun everyday
  3. Depression - have a good sense of humor and learn to laugh and not take life so seriously. Teach your kids to love themselves. Depression can kill the energy of your home. It’s hard to meet somebody that exercises on a daily basis that’s depressed
  4. Worry and anxiety - Never fear the day you’ve never seen. Everything comes back to energy. Your kids are born to be powerful
  5. Fear - Be intentional about becoming a family of faith. You have 100 more things to laugh about than to cry about. We forget how blessed we are
  6. Anger - an extremely toxic emotion. Let it go. Don’t talk to your kids with anger and don’t allow anger energy in your home. Learn to be a peaceful person and work on your tone of voice
  7. Negativity - can ruin relationships. You’ve got to bring it back to positivity. Don't let negativity in your home

Your goal should be to have the biggest impact and influence on your kids. Your goal is to get to the place that even when your kids are older, you’re the most impactful and influential person alive

You must be viciously protective of your inner circle and the people you allow to speak in your kids life

With positive, impactful people:

1) Go on trips with them

2) Send thank you cards to them (positive relatives, parents of friends, teachers, coaches, etc.)

3) Give permission and request for them to speak into your kids life. Let them mentor them, coach them, etc. When you request that they speak into their lives, they’ll want to do it more

4) Become the kind of person for other people’s kids

5) Speak positively of your kids influencers. It’s important to speak positively of your community

6) If your a business owner, never hire people that your kids don’t like. During their interview process, let your kids be apart of the interview

Ask your kids a lot of questions. Ask:

“Who makes you feel the best?

“Tell me the top 5 people that encourage you the most?”

Let go of teammates who aren’t encouraging to your kid. You’ve got an 18 year window to parent your kids. Never feel sorry for how you parent your kids and your boundaries

Ask your kid these questions:

“Name the 3 family members who encourage you the most that are the most fun to be around?”

“Who are the most negative people in our family?”

“Of all my friends, who has been the kindest to you?”

“Of all my friends, who has the most negative attitude?”

Then intentionally create your inner circle around those responses. It’s all about who you allow and strategically allow to influence your kids

Get your kids involved in something that gets them out of their comfort zones and pushes them to excellence

Benefits of playing sports:
  1. He learned teamwork skills
  2. He learned how to be coachable
  3. It taught respect - hold the doors open and stand up when an adult comes into the room. On a train or bus, stand up so a lady can sit down
  4. Physical fitness
  5. Influences of the coaches - some of Caleb’s greatest influences were his coaches
  6. It taught him the power of focus - in the moment focus and what the coaches were saying
  7. He developed the power of having a routine
  8. It taught him healthy competition
  9. It taught him not to be entitled - Be so good they can’t ignore you. In 6 months, he went from being the worst to being the best. He was the first one there and the last one to leave
  10. It taught him how to handle unfair situations and calls

Matt also taught Caleb yoga and it greatly helped him with concentration and focus

10 benefits of Martial arts:

  1. Strong discipline
  2. It builds confidence
  3. Self-defense
  4. Balance and posture
  5. Self control and good decision making
  6. Mental toughness
  7. It improves focus and concentration
  8. It improves breathing
  9. The belts and ranking teaches them to be goal oriented and to celebrate achievement
  10. It teaches them the spirit of excellence

One of Matt’s top favorite parenting tips is to get your kids into martial arts. Get your kids out of their comfort zone. Motivate your kids for greatness

10 things Caleb learned about sports:

  1. Always look your coach in the eye. Encourage your kids to also look adults in the eye
  2. Disappointments are normal but we don’t cry after a strikeout or an error. Never change your body language after a disappointment. If Caleb dragged his shoulders or kicked the dirt, Matt gave him about 3 seconds to change his state and change his energy
  3. Always give 100% - from the moment you step on the field until the coach dismisses you
  4. Never, ever make excuses. It’s never the umpires fault because you don’t want to put the game in the umpires hands in the first place. Become so good that they can’t overlook you. When we make excuses, we give our power away
  5. Be the hardest working kid on the team. Build a reputation that nobody outworks you. Be the first to practice and the last one to leave
  6. Always show respect to your team. Always. Instill the values that you want in your kids
  7. Never show a bad attitude. Win or lose, you’re classy. Right or wrong, you never show a nasty attitude
  8. Never argue with an umpire. It’s OK to respectfully ask an umpire a question. Be classy to the umpires
  9. Practice like you play. How you do anything is how you do everything. Practice like it’s a game
  10. Never be critical of your coach

Have your kids start studying Olympic athletes at 7 years old. Have them watch YouTube videos of their routines. Studying the greats is a good idea because the greats will instill things in your kids

Good or bad, daily consistent habits will always produce results over time

The Daily Five

Every single day, 365 x a year - Make it fun! :)

Every day, Matt put 5 pieces of fruits and vegetables in his lunch and Caleb’s goal was to eat every piece

During Caleb’s explosion time, which was from 11-12, he would read 1 book a week and do 3 hours of personal growth every single day. He would watch Shark Tank, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield and Brian Tracy

Be insanely focused about them mastering 5 good habits

1. Reading and personal growth. Habit must become lifestyle. Matt would set a timer and have Caleb read for 10 minutes everyday. After reading, he would watch a motivation/success YouTube video for 5-10 minutes

2. Write down your goals and speak them with power, passion and in the right state on the way to school. Caleb would pull out his goals and speak them with passion as if they’ve already been accomplished in the car and speak them on his way to school

3. Daily exercise. Every single day, they would take a 20 minute walk

4. Eat 5 fruits or vegetables every single day. Sometimes they would be put in a juicer

5. Daily meditation. The mind is powerful. He wanted him to learn the power of focus and breathing. The key is consistency

Matt printed off a points/rewards sheet on his refrigerator and if Caleb did all 5 habits, he would get 50 points. He got 10 points for each habit

Matt did it because that’s how life is. If you do good habits, you get good rewards

How to motivate your kids:

  1. Keep score and each month, set goals for your kids — 10 points per action for the daily 5 habits

Whenever your kids want things, instead of buying it, tie it into motivating them to read books or one of the 5 habits

Give them feedback, such as going back 3 months and give feedback on patterns such as not exercising enough. Then you can self correct and keep track. Keep a folder for each month and say “‘This was your score for February. What’s your score for March?”

2) Give a consequence if they score low. If you let your kids tell you the consequences, most of the time they’re going to be tougher on themselves. Set the rewards that they want and the consequences

3) Start having your kids make their bed everyday. It starts the momentum for the day of your completing. It will have a huge impact on their success because it starts the momentum for the day for you completing. Also, no toothbrush on the counter and no towel on the floor

If Caleb repeatedly left his towel on the floor, it was consequence time - this was in the movie Karate Kid. He would warn him first. He would make him pick up the towel, do 5 push-ups, drop it on the floor and do 5 push-ups. That broke him from leaving the towel on the floor

4) Clearly communicate expectations. It’s unfair and unethical to punish our kids for something we haven’t clearly communicated our expectation on

5) Use the power of positive reinforcement. You as a parent have to be the cheerleader. Some parents go crazy for an athlete that they don’t even know but they don’t for their own kid who they would die for. Verbally express when your kids are doing something right. “When I do wrong, my parents don’t forget. When I do right, my parents don’t remember.”

Say something like “I’m so proud of you for doing the dishes!”

Sometimes it would be a reward. He would go to putt putt or somewhere and say “The last few days, you’ve been doing so great at such and such…”

The more that you reinforce the positive, the more that you affirm the positive, your kids will go crazy trying to do more of it. Kids need praise. For every criticism, you better back it up with 10 praises

5) Example it. Model the behavior that you want them to have. It’s monkey do, monkey do. You do, they do

Healthy Habits:

  1. Health - their physical health can save them from depression. Start with one thing. Matt started with Caleb drinking water with lemon. The more he drank it, the less he craved coke. The second thing he started doing was he got Caleb into juicing. He put pineapple and watermelon in a blender with a little bit of mint, a small hand of spinach leaves and water. Caleb loved that. He also mixed carrot and apple juice with lemon

Foods affect moods. Every Sunday, they would make a meal plan. Matt doesn’t bring junk food into the house. If they have a cheat meal, they’ll go out and have it

One day, Caleb was craving Oreo's and be wanted 4 of them so they got in the car and Matt bought some, gave Caleb 4 and threw the rest of them away because they were going to go in own of two places; Caleb’s stomach, or in the trash

2) Get good sleep. Sleep is almost as important as work. Negative energy and bad vibes are sometimes the result of not getting enough sleep

3) Physical exercise - Bike riding, jump roping, swimming, walking, etc. Exercise will make them more creative and impacts their energy. It also improves their self-esteem

The healthier you eat, the healthier you’ll crave

4) Create the best vibes and laughter in your home as possible. Sick patients have a better chance of survival because of the power of laughter

5) Love yourself. Teach your kids self-love (practice the Mirror exercise). No negative self-talk or self defeating behaviors

6) Spend time with healthy, happy people. There was some kids that Matt didn’t allow Caleb to hangout with because of their unhealthy habits and unhealthy lifestyle. People that have healthy lifestyles are healthy, positive, have really good vibes and really good energy

7) Keep your kids from avoiding sugar as much as possible. Teach moderation. If your kids are overweight, it’s going to affect their self-esteem. One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is healthy habits so that they won’t struggle when they get older


Instilling confidence in your kids:

1. It all comes back to how your kids see themselves. There’s no amount of motivation that can help a negative self-image. Matt started by having Caleb visualize himself as being confident. Teach your kids to visualize success so that way rather than just trying out for a sports team, they’re confident because they’ve already visualized a successful outcome. This also applies to taking a test

2. Surround yourself with confident people. The type of people they associate themselves with is an absolute guarantee for success or failure. If a kid had even a hint of negativity, Matt wouldn’t allow Caleb to hangout with them. People that are insecure are dangerous

Make sure that you’re developing your own confidence so that they have confidence in your home and among siblings

3. It all comes down to self esteem. Kids that do extremely well have self esteem. If your self esteem doesn’t match your dream, you’ll never reach your dream. You’ve got to grow your self image and develop a very healthy, positive, strong, confident self image and say “At the end of the day, there’s no reason to dwell on my shortcomings because I’m a great person.”

There’s a power that comes to you when you believe in yourself. We’re in a world of insecurity and negativity. How you see yourself is mostly likely how others are going to see you. How you see yourself is how you’re going to show up

4. Have your kids speak affirmations everyday such as “I am talented”, “I am focused”, “I am successful.” If you speak these every single day, especially in the right state with power and with passion, you’re going to start to believe it. What you think, speak and believe is 100% what you’re going to produce

If you’re producing bad results, it’s because you’re thinking bad thoughts and you’re speaking bad words and you have bad beliefs, which always lead to bad actions

5. Get your kids to change their state. Matt had Caleb listen to every Tony Robbins training their is. The #1 thing Tony teaches is that you have to change your state

6. Make sure your kids dress well. How you dress is literally how you’re defined. One of the biggest confidence destroyers is letting your kids gain a bunch of weight as a kid

Don’t pass on negative energy and negative beliefs onto your kids, especially on clothing

7. Believe in yourself. Teaching your kids how to have a big dream and a big vision helps them grow their confidence

8. Give them ways to win. Post pictures of their accomplishments. Hang them in the house. Celebrate them by calling your friends and make sure your kids can hear you when you call. That is a major boost of confidence

9. Get your kids in some kind of sport or martial arts

10. Train your kids to think big - focus on strengths and not dwell on past failures

11. Don’t allow the negative self talk. Cut it off. Don’t allow your kids to say “I can’t”

Our kids are going to become who they associate with and we are their greatest source of influence so we as parents cannot afford to continue to allow ourselves to be insecure. We want to explode with confidence

4 step formula for confidence:

1. Think it, believe it, speak it and act as if. Every thought we think is physical. We will manifest what we think. “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Think big. View failure as a gift

2. Believe it. Refuse to believe that you’re defeated

3. Words. Never speak the problem. Speak solutions. If you do speak a problem, it’s only in identifying it, never accepting that the problem has defeated you or is holding you back

Always speak with certainty because speaking with certainty impacts confidence. When you speak with certainty, even when you’re wrong, there’s a power that comes to you. Never speak doubt, fear or hesitation. Always speak with certainty

4. Act as if. Believe and act as if you’re confident. The more you act with your actions, the more results you’re going to get. If you want your kids to be the best, they need to start acting like they’re the best

Matt had a poster blown up of Caleb playing for the New York Yankees that said “I will be the future shortstop of the New York Yankees.” Get a poster blown up of whatever they want to be in the future
 
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amp0193

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Wow @andyhaus44

Thanks for sharing your notes... amazing stuff.

It'll stick better if I hear it from the source, I'll check it out.
 

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Wow @andyhaus44

Thanks for sharing your notes... amazing stuff.

It'll stick better if I hear it from the source, I'll check it out.
You’re very welcome amp, my pleasure to share. Glad you like them. The speaker (Matt) has great energy and is wonderful to listen to. He says “Take this course like 20-30 times so it sinks in.” and I believe that. The cool thing is you get a lifetime membership to the course
 

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Just finished reading a parenting book from the guy in the course called “Parents 4 Success” and wow it’s great. Totally different content from the course, too and here are some of my takeaways —

Listening to music and telling jokes are two of our favorite things to do together

It is your emotional and physical presence that your kids desire more than anything. Please remember that

My greatest lessons and guidance came from my son. I always asked my son questions, and I still do. I ask him how I can be a better dad, what am I doing that I need to keep doing, what should I stop doing, what are some things that I need to start doing, and what can I do to make him feel more supported and loved. I listened, took notes and did everything I could to improve

Have a clear, specific vision for your kids. “Without a vision, people perish.” A lack of vision is a death sentence. Not a physical death, but it will be a death to a life intended for purpose and impact. The greatest secret to success is having a clear vision

Our kids must know that we believe in them. If they don’t, then you have failed

At age seven, Caleb read The Success Principles because he didn’t want him to think like every other kid his age

If our kids are 25 and still living at home, we are doing their laundry, and they’re still coming to us for lunch money, then we have failed as parents

Strive to become the most positive, enthusiastic human being that your kids ever met. Our kids should see nothing but positive energy flowing from us. We can’t display a negative attitude in front of our kids or allow them to feel negative energy coming for us. Our homes should be the happiest place in the world

Set a focused goal to make your home so positive that all your kids’ friends want to come to your house because they feel so much love, happiness, laughter and positive energy

Reward positive words and always give consequences when negative words are spoken

Be very strict about NEVER saying the word “CAN’T.” View it as a cuss word

Since he was 8, Caleb has read The Power of Positive Thinking every year

Finding the good in everything is not always easy, but it’s so worth it

Teaching Caleb to eat healthy was absolutely one of the top 3 things that I’ve done as a dad that made the biggest impact

The biggest challenge that you will face is making sure that your kids choose positive friends

When your speak positive words, you get better results and always feel better

Make sure that you and your kids create powerful affirmations. Affirmations are very powerful and will always yield results

Every day, I made Caleb write down a gratitude list and speak those things that he was grateful for

Attitude is everything. The attitude that our kids display is going to make them or break them. Challenge your kids to run from negativity like they would a deadly rattlesnake. Negativity is a poison and harmful to the mental and emotional health of your children

The happiest people in the world are givers. God will find a way to bless you financially if you give to the poor and take care of the fatherless. Receiving is an inescapable part of giving. You will get so blessed if you give out of a pure and open heart.

Please at least take your kids to serve at veterans’ hospitals, single moms in need, battered women’s shelters, children’s hospitals and kids that are without fathers

Not only do we get blessed financially when we give, but it’s also a very powerful spiritual experience that leads to true happiness

The early days of giving to the poor was a huge reason why Caleb is fearless, bold and confident. I challenged him to get out of his comfort zone even when he didn’t want to do it

Serving and giving is one of the healthiest things that you can do for your kids

Our missions trips are powerful and full of energy. Your kids will absolutely love the experience. Go to maddixmissions.com and register for one of our missions trips

Matt gave Caleb $20 for every success book that he read and when he finished, he wrote a paragraph long report that outlined what he learned from the book

By the time Caleb was 8, he had already watched all of Tony Robbins’ videos on YouTube

Here are the top 10 people on YouTube that you should have your kids watch:

Caleb Maddix
Tony Robbins
Jack Canfield
Eric Thomas
John Maxwell
Russell Brunson
Will Smith’s motivation videos
Nick Vujicic
Wayne Dyer
TD Jakes

Families that read together and grow together are always happier and more peaceful

Rather than saying, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” say something powerful like “We have the ability to create all the money that we’ll ever need.”

Make a list of 20 possible ways to make $10,000 within the next 30 days. It will open your creativity and keep your focus on what’s possible

Instead of “We can’t afford that”, say “We don’t have the money for that right now, but we will in the future.”

Teach your kids to show respect to the rich and learn to study them rather than be critical or skeptical of them

Your kids should graduate high school with healthy beliefs about money that they learned from you

The Maddix Top 10 Healthy Money Beliefs to Teach Kids:

Money is Spiritual
Money will only be attracted to people that operate at the highest spiritual level, which is integrity. People that don’t operate with integrity might have money, but eventually then will lose what they have if they don’t change their ways

Save 10% of Everything You Earn

Respect Money
Money is literally alive. It is no different than a human being. Don’t have change scattered in your car or left on the dryer, etc. You must keep your money organized and clean. Show it respect. Don’t have your cash crinkled up and left around

Learn from the Wealthy
The best thing that you can do when you are around wealthy people is to ask questions

Master Good Money Habits
Get your kids into the habit of earning and managing money. Don’t wait until your kids are 18 to try to teach them good money habits. Do it now

Another essential money habit to teach your kids is to always pay their bills on time

Don’t Have a Fear of Losing Money
When you have healthy money beliefs, you never have to worry about the lack or loss of money

Always Get Around People with Money
Go ahead and spend the extra money to sit in the VIP section

Have an Abundance Mindset

Never Feel Guilty for Having Money

“Discipline is making the decision between what you want and what you want more.”

For every criticism, include at least 10 positive praises throughout the day

Catch Them Doing Right and Affirm it Every Time

Be Consistent

Keep Your Word
Follow through with consequences

Don’t Contradict the Other Parent

Always Touch and Encourage
Usually after about an hour after disciplining, I give Caleb a hug, tell him that I believe in him, and encourage him to not beat himself up with regret. Give them consequences for their actions but always make sure to follow with meaningful touch and words of affirmation filled with love

Communicate Clear Expectations
Ask your kids to repeat back your expectations, rewards, and consequences for their behavior

Delayed Gratification for Self-Discipline
We would get a donut and I would make him wait an hour to eat just for the sake of self discipline and delayed gratification. We would also go to our favorite pizza place and only order salad. Try this with your kids. Tell them that you want them to wait until Saturday at 3:00 pm to play videos games

Yoga for Self-Discipline
When Caleb was 7, I started taking him to yoga classes. He became mentally strong from his yoga practice and his focus increased

Make Your Bed and Keep Your Room Cleaned for Self-Discipline
Train your kids to make their bed first thing in the morning. It’s a proven fact that when your kids have a structured and clean environment, they do better

10 Ways for Kids to Become More Disciplined:

Meditation
Physical exercise
Reading
Get good sleep
Eating healthy
NO video games
Practicing good body language and posture
Turn off their phones for blocks of time
Wake up early in the morning
Take cold showers

If our kids don’t master respect, they have a zero percent chance of having any success in their future

There is never an excuse to respond to an adult without saying “Yes, sir,” “No, mam,” or “No, Sir.”

Give an Adult Your Seat
The small really does impact the big. How we do anything is how we do everything

Hold the Door Open
Have them hold the door open for everyone, even if it’s people their age

Wait to Eat Until Everyone has His/Her Food

Train your kids to always be the most respectful kid an adult has ever met

Always Show Respect to Authority
Listen to the country song “Watching you” by Rodney Adkins -
View: https://youtu.be/2uzK3VwzraM


Be respectful and have a positive attitude towards police officers

It is your duty as an American to be respectful and watch what you say about the President

If Caleb is going to his friends house, he follows these steps:

Take off your shoes before walking into the room
Take your plate to the sink and put scraps in the trash
Make your bed in the morning
Don’t leave your towel on the floor
Take or the trash if it’s full

Everyday, talk about gratitude and use “thank you” as often as you can

Matt’s ONE thing to Caleb: Master sales like Bruce Lee mastered martial arts

Unless your kids are going to do the following, keep them away from college:

Medicine
Nursing
Law
Dentistry
Education
Accounting
Veterinary medicine
Pharmacy
Psychology
Engineering
Architecture

Top 3 things to teach your kids:

Give to the poor
Master sales
Surround yourself with the right people

What Can My Kids Sell?

Here is a list of possible things your kids can sell:

Cases of water door to door
Other people’s books and items
Stuff around the house. Every kid should have an eBay account (of course through you) where they learn how to sell stuff on eBay. Kids should be figuring out ways to sell online rather than sitting around playing video games
Starbucks coffee. You can buy travelers at Starbucks for $12. They give up to 12-15 cups of coffee. You can sell a cup, door to door or on a street corner for $3 and profit $24 per traveler
Lawn mowing
Shoveling driveways
T-Shirts
Arts and crafts
Washing and detailing cars. If your kids became skilled at this, they could make $460 a week by getting 6 people to pay them $75 to detail their car
Pet sitting or dog walking. The pet industry is a billion dollar industry

You want your kids to use their brains and try to brainstorm solutions rather than numbing their mind on video games all day

5 Ways to Become Great at Sales

Ask questions
Study and train every day
Prospect everyday
Follow up until you hear “No” 12 times. One of the number one secrets to sales is that you must hear the word “no” at least 12 times before a sale is made. This should relax our kids
Be enthusiastic and persuasive

Train your kids to be healthy

Water with lemon
Stop buying junk food
Exercise every day. When Caleb was 6, we had a daily routine to do at least 29 minutes of physical exercise every day
Healthy breakfast. Stop eating cereals and sugary snack bars for breakfast. Put some of their favorite veggies and spinach in a pan with some olive oil and mix in a few organic eggs. Serve them this for breakfast. It’s very healthy and a great way to start the day. Another option is oatmeal. Add some fresh fruit and nuts. Drink water with lemon first thing in the morning
Sugar in extreme moderation only
Greens, Greens and Greens. God gave us greens to give life to our bodies. Our rule is broccoli, asparagus, kale and spinach every day. If we go a day without putting greens in our body, we can feel the difference. We are more sluggish and don’t feel as good. Train your kids to love greens and eat them on a DAILY basis. The best way to do this is to drink spinach or kale juice everyday with some pineapple, strawberries, watermelon or fresh fruit. Caleb’s favorite is spinach, pineapple, watermelon and mint. Do your kids the biggest favor of their entire 18 years and train them to put greens in their body every day

Here is a list of healthy greens:
Kale
Broccoli
Spinach
Asparagus
Swiss chard
Collard greens
Celery

7. Reduce stress. We must train our kids to handle pressure and keep the right perspective. Pressure and stress are the realities of life but we must train them how to deal with it the right way

8. Eat small portions every 3 hours. Start serving meals on smaller plates. We usually eat too fast. Train your kids to eat slower and they will eat less and therefore have more energy and feel great. Get your kids a good workout plan, put the right foods in their body, and train them to be healthy

One of the most common traits that all successful people have is the ability to withstand a great deal of pressure. They have mental toughness and do not get rattled by stress, difficulties or setbacks

Mental toughness:

Get rid of the victim mentality
Don’t bail your kids out. Bailing him out may soothe him temporarily, but it will cause irreparable damage that will negatively impact him
Don’t spoil your kids. Entertainment such as video games, cell phone, television, etc. are privileges they must earn. Spoiling your kids by giving them what they want all the time without instilling the quality of earned rewards may provide temporary convenience, but it does a lot of long term damage
Get your kids involved. Putting your kids in clubs, sports teams or after school activities that challenge their minds and bodies are great ways to build mental toughness. Embrace your kids’ failures. Treat it as a teaching moment and learning experience that will help your kids grow
Live by priorities. In the morning, Caleb makes his bed, shower, brush his teeth and straightens his top before touching his phone

5 strategies that will help you develop work ethic within your kids:

Set the expectation. Write down a checklist of your daily expectations and have a family meeting. Make it fun and engaging. The expectations should include household chores, behavior, and priorities that must be accomplished daily. By 5-years-old, your child should know how to fold towels properly, do laundry, and clean dishes
Set the example. If the car needs to be cleaned, everyone can do it together. Make it fun and energetic
Keep your kids active. Much of the rising childhood obesity rate is linked to the sedentary lifestyle connected to technology. Movement is so essential. Every day, make your kids do something that requires movement
Make work fun. Play music, tell jokes, create games out of work, make it competitive, set the timer, etc. If you learn to make work fun, you can turn any work situation into a positive experience
Reward your kids

6. Start young. When you are going to wash the car and change the oil, take your kids with you. Make it a fun experience for them

Model the behavior you want replicated and watch your kid’s life and future blossom

7 things to start building confidence:

Believe in them. Consistently tell your kids that you believe in them. Speak words and write a daily note that emphasizes the fact that you believe in them and know they are going to make a huge noticeable impact in the world
Speak powerful words. Tell your kids that they are world changers. Pull out a map and tell him that he’s going to change the lives of people in that country. Words are more powerful than machine guns. They have ability to bring life or death. Your words will either build up your children or tear them down. If you want your kids to perform at their best, then speak positive and powerful words over them
Practice body language and posture. Tell your kids to sit up straight, look people in the eye, smile, and stand tall. When walking together, always make sure that they look up. Teaching the “acting as if” strategy is a quick way to build confidence. The quickest way to jump start confidence is to have them focus on the way they walk and enter a room
Appearance. Set your budget to ensure that your kids are in quality clothes. Make sure they smell nice and have fresh breath
Affirmations. Make a list of 10-20 affirmations that your kids can speak. “I am loved”, “I am powerful”, “I am creative”, “I can do all things”, “I am confident”, “I believe in myself”, “I am happy” “I am a millionaire.” Have your kids say their affirmations every morning with feeling. Affirmations can be life-changing, so make your kids speak these affirmations every single day
Praise. Be your kids’ biggest cheerleader. Keep looking for the right that your kids are doing and take the opportunity to shower them with praise
Never criticize or belittle. We may see or kids as little things, but it’s the little things that make a big difference

How to effectively train kids:

Build trust and never break it. The fastest way to earn a child’s trust is to keep your word at all costs. Being a good listener is a fast way to win the trust of our kids
Be consistent. We must be consistent with our values and beliefs. Be consistent with your health, spirituality, relationships and in your disciplines
Never EVER lie to your kids. Lying is so destructive to our kids’ hearts. They will lose all trust in us if we lie to them. We must commit to a life of impeccable integrity and character and not lie to others. Don’t be a flaky or dishonest person. It’s never ok to cheat, steal or lie even in the smallest areas. Remember, small reveals big
Repetition, repetition, repetition. One of the biggest things I did right with Caleb is repetition in my training of his personal growth, money, and sales. I used repetition when it came to Caleb’s health and habits. I made Caleb make his bed the first thing in the morning. It was repetition. Don’t check your phone until you are fully ready for the day. Turn your phone off one hour before bed. Reading was all about repetition as well
Immersion and mastery. One of the biggest secrets to truly learning something or mastering a new skill is immersion. Most never do this in their life. Go for the best in the world. Become the Bruce Lee or Warren Buffett of something. It’s possible as long as you are willing to put in the training. “Fear not the man that knows 1,000 kicks but the man that has practiced one kick 1,000 times.” “I’d rather you read one book 30 times rather than read 30 different books.”

One of the biggest breakthroughs for Caleb was when I made him listen to only Tony Robbins for a year. He went all in on his teachings and watched some videos up to 40 times each

6. Get a mentor/coach. Caleb learned a lot directly from Russell Brunson, Joe Benoit, Travis Worthington, Steve Schwartz, Dante Bichete Jr, Grant Cardone, Kevin Harrington, Jake Paul, Glenn Twiddle, Wayne Mack
 

andyhaus44

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Here is a cool story I wanted to share —

Once upon a time, there was a young guy who grew up in a family whose father was a Fortune 500 executive, extremely wealthy. This kid grew up having everything - he had servants, money and everything else. He grew up spoiled beyond belief and his father was busy working and so on but for one reason or another, he grew up very spoiled

He was pushy, he was arrogant, he was rude toward the servants and toward other people. The father had realized he had raised a really spoiled, wasteful type kid because he never had to work for anything in his life. The young man went off to college, completed college, reasonable grades and then he came back and he said "Okay dad, get me a job." so the father said "Okay I will get you a job." The father realized he had made a mistake with his son and he wasn't quite sure how to help him but he got him a job with another Fortune 500 company and the young guy went to work. After 18 months, the boss called him in and said "You're fired. We don't want you around here anymore. Your work is low level. You're not very competent. You're fired. Get out."

The young man was shattered; it was his first job. His friends got jobs working for large companies. He came home and said that he had been fired. His father said "Well, you know I'll see if I can get you another job." so a couple of months goes by, his father gets him another job

He goes and he works for 18 months at this job - this time he works really hard because he's determined not to be fired. After 18 months, boss calls him in and says "You're fired. Get out of here. Get out. Out, out, out. We don't want you around here. You're worthless. You're no good."

The kid goes home and now he's in his mid 20s. He's really upset and angry. His father says "Well, let me see what I can do. I'll call around." This time he gets him another job and 18 months later, he's fired for incompetence

He does this four times and then the son discovers when he's about 28, 29 - by this time he's working hard. He's working long hours. He's working himself silly so he can do a great job and he's doing a great job. He's gotten better and better, more disciplined, more focused and everything else but fired four times in a row from major companies and then he finally finds out - somebody let's him slip and he said "Well why am I being fired?" He said "Well that was the deal."

He said "What do you mean, deal?" He said "Well, the deal was I told your father I'd put you on for 18 months and he agreed as long as I would fire you at the end of 18 months." He said "Quite honestly, you've done a fantastic job here. You're one of the best we've ever seen but that was the deal."

This young man went home and now he was in his late 30s - he was so mad. He got into a shouting contest with his father. He swore at him and he said "I will never talk to you. I will never have anything to do with you for the rest of my life." He walks out, leaves, gets his own job this time with a Fortune 500 company, becomes an executive, moves up to a senior position. He's well paid, well respected. At the age of 38, he's still mad and he's talking to his spouse about his father and what his father did all in his 20s

His wife said "Honey, did you ever think that maybe your father loved you so much, he was willing to put you through all of that knowing you'd end up hating him but he did that to make you the kind of man that you become today?"

It was just like a whack in the face and suddenly, the son realized in all honesty, he was a jerk when he came out of school and that now he was a successful, highly respected person and it would never have happened in the absence of those experiences

So he went to his father - he's now 38 years old, father is about 60 something. He went to his father and confronted him and said "Is this true?" and he said "Yes." He said "I hated to do it but I realized I had made a mistake in raising you and I had to compensate for it." "I had to make you the kind of person that you could be and it would only happen with adversity." "I was willing to lose you in order to save you." They embraced and they became best friends for the rest of their lives

The point is, he went from being angry to the age of 38 to changing his perspective and he realized that what had happened was a good thing. What happened was done out of love and not out of unkindness. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood
 

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