Fantasy Football, 2015-2016 (Smacktalk starts pg 4)

[MJ DeMarco]

This was a horrible season for me. Shouldn't have traded Bortles for Forte. Well played MJ.

You should have taken Jonathan Stewart-- he would have given you immediate help. You had to make a deal for a RB -- you cannot play two QB's and one sitting on your bench is a wasted asset. I knew Bortles (or Brees) would be better than Matt Ryan who I knew was better than Sam Bradford-- all QBs I traded for.

Kinda sad that no one else was able to pull off any trades other than me, you and King.

In my other league, there was no trades --- and I tried continually. The psychological hangups are strong in Fantasy Football...

 

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[Veloce Grey]

You should have taken Jonathan Stewart-- he would have given you immediate help. You had to make a deal for a RB -- you cannot play two QB's and one sitting on your bench is a wasted asset. I knew Bortles (or Brees) would be better than Matt Ryan who I knew was better than Sam Bradford-- all QBs I traded for.

Kinda sad that no one else was able to pull off any trades other than me, you and King.

In my other league, there was no trades --- and I tried continually. The psychological hangups are strong in Fantasy Football...

All right, nobody has been able to stop our league's resident 800 pound gorilla from getting into the playoff.

Next week in the 4th vs 5th matchup I'll have to put an end to this rampage. If it requires me running onto the field and tackling Antonio Brown myself, so be it. That goalpost managed to stop him last night and I'm roughly as fast and agile as a goalpost.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

All right, nobody has been able to stop our league's resident 800 pound gorilla from getting into the playoff.

Next week in the 4th vs 5th matchup I'll have to put an end to this rampage. If it requires me running onto the field and tackling Antonio Brown myself, so be it. That goalpost managed to stop him last night and I'm roughly as fast and agile as a goalpost.

You have one thing going for you... the New Orleans Saints defense which could easily eradicate 2, 3 of my players. A QB against them is the last thing I wanted to see.

 

[Likwid24]

Well that was fun. Now time to get whooped in the playoffs because I don't have one single running back!

 

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[Vigilante]

New strategy for me for the playoff run. I am dumping a few losers from my bench, and replacing them with the top available free agents solely so that none of my opponents can fill in any weaknesses. I am going to lock up the best few available players and let them sit on my bench for the remainder of the year.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Well that was fun. Now time to get whooped in the playoffs because I don't have one single running back!

Yea I'm hoping I can get pass the Big Carrot and my proxy play on the NO defense so we can put your stout RB's to the test. I do believe you won the regular season though... which means, moola!

 

[Vigilante]

I am in for next year. Take the shittiest manager and kick him out. In every league, there is dead weight. I'm in. Make room. I sat out this year to make sure no stalkers were involved.

I am the first in for next year. I'll be the first in with the cash when it is due, because you're simply going to hold it for me and return it with interest.

 

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[Iwokeup]

I am in for next year. Take the shittiest manager and kick him out. In every league, there is dead weight. I'm in. Make room. I sat out this year to make sure no stalkers were involved.

I am the first in for next year. I'll be the first in with the cash when it is due, because you're simply going to hold it for me and return it with interest.

Hmm....dead weight.....

 

[Veloce Grey]

You have one thing going for you... the New Orleans Saints defense which could easily eradicate 2, 3 of my players. A QB against them is the last thing I wanted to see.

Oh that's been planned-Winston/Stafford both get NO next two weeks before Bortles who I didn't have the firepower to trade for when MJ Gorilla got involved in the bidding. Not that I have huge confidence in Winston but it was the best avenue left for me. Ideally if @TheKing didn't sleep with an Inflatable Mike Evans doll and refuse every trade offer I'd have been able to pair them and hope for a few TDs.

I don't mind the play of Wheaton either-while technically a much weaker option than Brown and Bryant there's a rough chance of the double whammy of the Bengals focusing on those two and the Steelers gameplan to feature him like two weeks ago vs Seattle. Not ideal using a number 3 WR but limited options really.

New strategy for me for the playoff run. I am dumping a few losers from my bench, and replacing them with the top available free agents solely so that none of my opponents can fill in any weaknesses. I am going to lock up the best few available players and let them sit on my bench for the remainder of the year.

While that may be a sound strategy in most circumstances, my slightly desperate "25 point underdog vs guy who has Charcandrick West and Spencer Ware on his bench" situation calls for something more. I'm going to put in a waiver claim for Tebow, stick him on my bench and ask for God's help.

 

[Vigilante]

Oh that's been planned-Winston/Stafford both get NO next two weeks before Bortles who I didn't have the firepower to trade for when MJ Gorilla got involved in the bidding. Not that I have huge confidence in Winston but it was the best avenue left for me. Ideally if @TheKing didn't sleep with an Inflatable Mike Evans doll and refuse every trade offer I'd have been able to pair them and hope for a few TDs.

I don't mind the play of Wheaton either-while technically a much weaker option than Brown and Bryant there's a rough chance of the double whammy of the Bengals focusing on those two and the Steelers gameplan to feature him like two weeks ago vs Seattle. Not ideal using a number 3 WR but limited options really.



While that may be a sound strategy in most circumstances, my slightly desperate "25 point underdog vs guy who has Charcandrick West and Spencer Ware on his bench" situation calls for something more. I'm going to put in a waiver claim for Tebow, stick him on my bench and ask for God's help.

God only helps the Cowboys.

 

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[Iwokeup]

God only helps the Cowboys.

Not this year. They're wandering in the desert. Hopefully not for 40 years....

 

[Vigilante]

Not this year. They're wandering in the desert. Hopefully not for 40 years....

1 game out with 4 games yet to play. If they run the table they're IN.

 

[Veloce Grey]

I sat out this year to make sure no stalkers were involved.

It's almost like you think some of us take this too seriously.

By the way does anyone know where I can buy one of those drones with a sound system capable of pumping out Celine Dion's greatest hits at 140 decibels 24/7 for the next 5 days while hovering outside Antonio Brown's place? I had to ditch the tackling idea after pulling a muscle while lying in bed reading an article on how to tackle.

 

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[bigred]

It's almost like you think some of us take this too seriously.

By the way does anyone know where I can buy one of those drones with a sound system capable of pumping out Celine Dion's greatest hits at 140 decibels 24/7 for the next 5 days while hovering outside Antonio Brown's place? I had to ditch the tackling idea after pulling a muscle while lying in bed reading an article on how to tackle.

By far the greatest thing I've heard in a long time. Hahaha

 

[MJ DeMarco]

It's almost like you think some of us take this too seriously.

Tebow on your roster concerns me.
And then the Boobie add was worrisome.
Add Toby Gerhart and you will have me officially scared shitless.

 

[Veloce Grey]

Tebow on your roster concerns me.
And then the Boobie add was worrisome.
Add Toby Gerhart and you will have me officially scared shitless.

I never underestimate the fact that anyone at the top remembers the years they were at the bottom and reduced to rolling with Donkey Gerhart and Big Boobie.

I'm not going to lie I've stuffed up so many things this season I barely deserve a playoff berth. Getting caught up in the early QB rush while you sensibly stayed out of it and took Brown. Overvaluing Jordan Matthews/Brandin Cooks at picks 28-29 when I had a similar rating on Allen Robinson who was available two full rounds later. Taking a huge number of longshot rbs but no Freeman, and eventually dropping Deangelo when he was about as strong a handcuff as there was.

But that's past and now we're head to head with the cards with have in hand. Since I know betting and oddsmaking I can work out my chances from a purely scientific point of view are bad, even without Yahoo's little predictor bar telling us. I've selected the best team I can with what I have left. So by picking up Tebow I'm just reminding you of how scientific logic can occasionally go out the window in situations like these.

A few weeks after I was legally allowed to put on my own bets at 18 I was there late one evening watching the races without a winner all day. The last race I had a bet on some hillbilly Australian horse meeting at 12-1 that bolted clear for an easy win. Well it would have been an easy win but just short of the post it fell over for no apparent reason. Wasn't injured, no foul play, just a random act of an animal falling over. That was a very long walk back from the betting venue in the dark winter, my wallet considerably lighter, stunned look stuck on my face. You think of that when Antonio is running up the field looking certain to score this weekend

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Just for the record in case I get "Pink Ferreted" again, although I don't see a Marcel Reesesque player on your roster.

 

[Veloce Grey]

Just for the record in case I get "Pink Ferreted" again, although I don't see a Marcel Reesesque player on your roster.

View attachment 11199

Boobie was outraged about being left out of that team photo and has parted ways with the team. He's says he's available for you to pick up. He's waiting by the phone with a broken heart and a giant tub of ice cream.

I really thought I could avoid such drama by having Tebow's locker room presence to calm the guys.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Boobie was outraged about being left out of that team photo and has parted ways with the team. He's says he's available for you to pick up. He's waiting by the phone with a broken heart and a giant tub of ice cream.

I really thought I could avoid such drama by having Tebow's locker room presence to calm the guys.

Aw man, I tried to pickup Hightower this afternoon but didn't have a roster spot for him.

 

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[Iwokeup]

Just for the record in case I get "Pink Ferreted" again, although I don't see a Marcel Reesesque player on your roster.

One of the greatest days of my life so far. Truly.

 

[Veloce Grey]

@TheKing since we're both getting bundled out of the playoffs this week, I'd like to request a formal apology for accusations of banditry pertaining to the possible acquisition of elite big time performer Isaiah Crowell on September 22 for oversized giraffe with hands of soap Mike Evans who couldn't even score today on a New Orleans secondary that would be overmatched vs most small town ballet troupes.

@Veloce Grey trying to commit a highway robbery already

I'd like to thank MJ for running the league, @Iwokeup for providing weekly pain assistance in the form of new wonder drug Alinromrarbphine (at least I'm not rolling out Marcel Reece at rb-phine), and most of all my first three draft picks Andrew Luck/Brandin Cooks/Jordan Matthews for their sterling efforts in ensuring that next week I won't be sitting there watching Redzone thinking "what exactly was I doing drafting Luck, Cooks and Matthews"

 

[Iwokeup]

@TheKing since we're both getting bundled out of the playoffs this week, I'd like to request a formal apology for accusations of banditry pertaining to the possible acquisition of elite big time performer Isaiah Crowell on September 22 for oversized giraffe with hands of soap Mike Evans who couldn't even score today on a New Orleans secondary that would be overmatched vs most small town ballet troupes.



I'd like to thank MJ for running the league, @Iwokeup for providing weekly pain assistance in the form of new wonder drug Alinromrarbphine (at least I'm not rolling out Marcel Reece at rb-phine), and most of all my first three draft picks Andrew Luck/Brandin Cooks/Jordan Matthews for their sterling efforts in ensuring that next week I won't be sitting there watching Redzone thinking "what exactly was I doing drafting Luck, Cooks and Matthews"

Well, when all you HAVE is Marcel Reece...

Still smarting about that Blake Bortles trade. Could have won two more games with him...

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Still smarting about that Blake Bortles trade.

The Bortles trade wasn't your downfall, your downfall was impatience and dropping good players before they officially stunk. Tyler Eifert, CJ Anderson (Better than Reese) are just a few that come to mind.

 

[Vigilante]

The Bortles trade wasn't your downfall, your downfall was impatience and dropping good players before they officially stunk. Tyler Eifert, CJ Anderson (Better than Reese) are just a few that come to mind.

Tyler Eifert has single handedly made one of my teams a playoff team this year. The early half of his season was amazing. Not sure if he is still the #1 TE or not... but seriously.

 

[Iwokeup]

The Bortles trade wasn't your downfall, your downfall was impatience and dropping good players before they officially stunk. Tyler Eifert, CJ Anderson (Better than Reese) are just a few that come to mind.

Fairly said.

 

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[Veloce Grey]

The Bortles trade wasn't your downfall, your downfall was impatience and dropping good players before they officially stunk. Tyler Eifert, CJ Anderson (Better than Reese) are just a few that come to mind.

I remember in the live draft it got to about pick 90 and for some reason I declared "look I already have Olsen but if someone doesn't take Eifert soon I'm taking him next chance I get" In steps Mr Ferrets at pick 94 then gives me a wink in the chat. Then drops him two days later.

Not that I can be too harsh there-

Of the top scoring Running Backs so far this week I drafted the 1st, 3rd, 4th and 11th. Crowell 9th round, Starks 14th round, Deangelo Williams 13th round, David Johnson 10th round. None of them were actually on my roster this week due to various bouts of Gerhartitis. Of course in a league where Todd Gurley and Devonta Freeman also got dropped I have some company.

Anyway now some hobo is out there running amok with my Deangelo Williams. And the Antonio Brown and Blake Bortles I had last season. I actually had a Spongebob Onesie I wore quite a bit last year, you want that too?

 

[Veloce Grey]

Fairly said.

I now perceive that trade playing out like the ending scene of There Will Be Blood and MJ is sitting there in his bowling alley trying to resist the urge to tell you how much he enjoyed your milkshake.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

@TheKing since we're both getting bundled out of the playoffs this week, I'd like to request a formal apology for accusations of banditry pertaining to the possible acquisition of elite big time performer Isaiah Crowell on September 22 for oversized giraffe with hands of soap Mike Evans who couldn't even score today on a New Orleans secondary that would be overmatched vs most small town ballet troupes.

I'd like to thank MJ for running the league, @Iwokeup for providing weekly pain assistance in the form of new wonder drug Alinromrarbphine (at least I'm not rolling out Marcel Reece at rb-phine), and most of all my first three draft picks Andrew Luck/Brandin Cooks/Jordan Matthews for their sterling efforts in ensuring that next week I won't be sitting there watching Redzone thinking "what exactly was I doing drafting Luck, Cooks and Matthews"

So glad you took Luck... I was probably going to draft him first, the +2 on TD throws was the temptation. Interesting look -- I traded away 2 of my first 3 draft picks and got Bortles and Martavis Bryant in return.

Fairly said.

First time playing this year?

 

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[Iwokeup]

So glad you took Luck... I was probably going to draft him first, the +2 on TD throws was the temptation. Interesting look -- I traded away 2 of my first 3 draft picks and got Bortles and Martavis Bryant in return.



First time playing this year?

LOL. No. Remember our little side wager last year?

The truth is, I spend about ten minutes (at most) per week obsessing over FF. It's fun and turns watching NFL football into something more interesting. But my best weeks are when I just play what I have instead of trying to make moves. Has worked well for me in the past.

 

[Veloce Grey]

LOL. No. Remember our little side wager last year?

The truth is, I spend about ten minutes (at most) per week obsessing over FF. It's fun and turns watching NFL football into something more interesting. But my best weeks are when I just play what I have instead of trying to make moves. Has worked well for me in the past.

Now now lets not rehash the past bringing up your 87-53 slamming of Team Skeptical Child in the consolation semifinal last year.

And lets especially not bring up that MJ's 2014 end of year roster looks like the kind of list you really didn't want to be on as an NFL Player or Team....

Anquan Boldin-stuck on 49ers
Jimmy Graham-traded away, got a lack of Russell love then injured out for season
Ronnie Hillman-another year in a timeshare
Fred Jackson-cut, now still a backup after two guys in front of him got injured
Rashad Jennings-stuck in 4 way timeshare and actually considering Dancing With The Stars career
Tre Mason-no doubt thrilled his team drafted Todd Gurley in offseason
Jordan Matthews-giant fantasy bust failing at catching things Sam Bradford has thrown vaguely in his direction
Mark Sanchez-oh dear, oh dear. Loved those Eagles QBs
Cecil Shorts III-injured off and on all season
Reggie Wayne-retired
Wes Welker-semi retired now stuck on Rams, so kind of still retired
Matt Prater-cut, went from Denver to the Loins, I mean Lions

Indianapolis def-slight issue with their QBs getting made into pancakes
Miami def-slight issue with spending a few billion on team this offseason, firing coach and still being 5-7
San Francisco def-And the cherry on top.....this roster really is the gift that keeps on giving

It's like he was the Grim Reaper of football careers. I wouldn't blame him for putting in some more effort with this years draft. If I'd ended last year with that bunch I'd have started a new league composed of myself and 11 imaginary friends.