F Tinder tell me where you men hang out at.

[Raaa]

Hello,

Sorry about your divorce.

I'd take the advice of the above members on places where you could meet men.

In social situations, it is important that you are being social. Men don't approach as many women as people believe.

Here are some steps you could take...
1. Make eye contact and smile with as many men as possible
2. Try to say hello and see where the conversation leads to. Remember, its just a hello.
3. Get them to ask you out.
Then filter them out, slowly...

It works because men are thirsty! (;

I'd avoid Tinder for various reasons.

 

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[BellaPippin]

I say this as I am now going through the same thing after 3 years of marriage and this, more than anything else, is how I intend to do (and be) better next time around.

To your success.

Sorry to hear. To your success too. We get back up and keep trying.

In my opinion tho, I wouldn't rush into a relationship. I'm not saying you are, but think about this for a second.

You're a fastlane girl. Maybe you need a slowlane counterpart. Life is like a Ying-Yang. There's got to be balance.

I love that you got that reference xD Yeah no not rushing. Just like everyone's telling me I know there's no point in forcing it and I do myself better service just doing my thing and growing on my own to attract the right person. I was just curious to know if like minded people like us frequent any type of activities but I guess it's more complex than that. Ultimately I'll take care of myself and that will (mostly) take care of itself I hope.

And yeah I'm not particularly in need of a fastlaner, as long as he doesn't feel threatened or uncomfortable by me striving for that. It's more about finding a good, kind companion that helps me be a better person.

Sound like you've been through the mills. Kudos for standing up for yourself and moving on.

Thanks. Now that I was finally able to leave him I told myself I wouldn't even think about it anymore. I'm not a victim. He's become completely irrelevant and won't be delaying my success any more.

Here

I like how the "here" points to a stack of hundreds... lol

 

[garyjsmith]

I'd never advise clubs to find a mate!
gyms
amateur sports teams
business/investing meetups
church
volunteer places

Wow, that makes so much sense. Simplifying it to places that draw people who are working on themselves and/or desirable traits eliminates the confusion of "where do i find the person for me." What a time saver!

 

[Longinus]

1. Make eye contact and smile with as many men as possible

Just this can make your life WAY easier. I don't understand why so little girls know this or rather like to walk around with the "I hate men"-face. Do this and you will have men laying at your feet (just be careful with jelly girlfriends though).

 

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[TonyStark]

I don't understand why so little girls know this or rather like to walk around with the "I hate men"-face.

That, "RBF" lol.

 

[rollerskates]

Well, I own a cat and have currently given up on dating, so I may not be giving the best advice. However, I had the best luck with a pre-screened dating service. The two I used were religion based, though, but I'm sure pre-screened ones exist that are nonreligious. If you go the online route, I would use some kind of pre-screened service so you don't end up with someone totally unsuitable or the next victim of a serial killer (I probably read too much as this is always in the back of my mind).

You can also think about what kind of men attract you. Will you find them in museums? Rodeos? Bookstores?

But really and truly, just be your authentic self. You are young yet.

And I am sorry that divorce was necessary. I have a friend who just left an abusive marriage with a boatload of kids and I can't even imagine how devastating it must be.

 

[sotomo]

Where do you guys tend to hang out, socialize, approach girls, etc?

My prior relationship started at a nightclub, and is was a nightmare. So I moved on and met my wife on a popular free dating website.

I don't currently hang out anywhere. If i did hang out, I would not be looking for romance. So in my humble personal opinion, a guy who hooks up with women where he hangs out might be risky. Just sayin'... I will admit that I was no angel on the dating site. I was somewhat rude and bratty and disrespectful. But so were the women. Anyway, communication is probably the most important thing when deciding who to be with.

I'm a software developer so it seemed natural to me to meet a girl online. I don't know how other guys do it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

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[ramonorencio]

Hey!
Sorry to about hear about the turnout of your marriage.

If I'm not mistaken we've met on one of the meetups.
If you're still in the city you can't really go wrong with millenium park or Starbucks!
Ton of people by the bean lol

 

[BrooklynHustle]

Business idea: dating app/site/whatever that targets on people who are into self-development and cuts off ordinary peace-sign-making, duckfacing, YOLO-crowd.

Sounds like someone has validated that market, or a similar one

Podcast episode: Self Made Man by Mike Dillard on Apple Podcasts

MeetMindful.com is her site

 

[MJ DeMarco]

MeetMindful.com is her site

Looks interesting! The only problem here is, most people advertise what they want to be, not what they are. So I would fear that people would join this who are interested in self-development and healthy eating, but aren't doing it. It's kinda the same catch-22 we deal with here -- everyone here is interested in becoming financially independent, but very few practice it daily.

 

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[Ubermensch]

I just go outside and step onto the beach.

 

[Azure]

They have beaches in Chicago?

 

[Evil_Jester]

I remember a girl telling me she has a $400/month gym membership and she is an entry level accountant. It sounds like a fastlane investment to find a successful husband

 

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[BellaPippin]

Looks interesting! The only problem here is, most people advertise what they want to be, not what they are. So I would fear that people would join this who are interested in self-development and healthy eating, but aren't doing it. It's kinda the same catch-22 we deal with here -- everyone here is interested in becoming financially independent, but very few practice it daily.

Well isn't that the point, maybe? Find someone who you can get there with? Speaking from my position I still find that site attracting. Even if the person isn't there yet at least I know it's on his thoughts. Maybe I can motivate him and he can also be my motivation voice. Although I'm not ready to make a profile anywhere...I'd rather keep that as a plan B lol

 

[BellaPippin]

They have beaches in Chicago?

We do! Artificial but beaches still, with a nice view and volleyball courts and parks next to them

 

[BellaPippin]

I remember a girl telling me she has a $400/month gym membership and she is an entry level accountant. It sounds like a fastlane investment to find a successful husband

More like a slowlane investment to find a fastlane sugar daddy lmao

 

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[BellaPippin]

I just go outside and step onto the beach.

 

[Azure]

Why dont you go on a date with @Ubermensch

He seems like a nice young fellow

 

[Raaa]

so...any single guys on here?

jk

 

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[MetalGear]

• Convention says men approach women first, but men don't always read the signals that a woman throws out to get a man's attention.

 

[Iammelissamoore]

Hey Sister - another introverted Sister here, I'm really sorry that you're going through a divorce. I don't have any superb advice regarding dating, lol, because of similar predicaments as you have highlighted initially in your post, I myself have chosen to focus on entrepreneurship and applying the concepts highlighted in both books; however, the journey is a holistic one and I'm learning a lot as the lessons do not only apply to business.

I trust that as time goes by things will flow for you and as you also grow as an individual/entrepreneurship, I believe that things will fall into place accordingly. I absolutely understand the overthinking thing from the introverted aspect. Lol, I think that's why I also made this temporary choice regarding that aspect of life.

However, I wish you well on your journey and wish you absolute success as you continue growing individually, while building your successful entrepreneurial path.

 

[Christopher777]

For research purposes, lol.

A better question is, if you were someone that your ideal man would pick/approach, where would you hang out? How would your first interaction go? This should point you in the right direction.

There is truth in the saying "we attract who we are."

Just do your thing and begin having fun. You're still healing and might need to sort things out from within. Yes, dating/hunting is funny stuff, yet you also want to learn from the past, not just by looking at your ex partner's faults, but also looking at your own, because believe it or not, it's connected to how things will unfold later.

Having said that, just doll up a bit. You're fine and cute. You'll be swarmed. Screen from there.

 

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[Get Right]

Get on Linkedin, find men with attributes you like. See where they work/volunteer/visit. Check those places out and see if other like-minded single dudes are there. No stalking though

Oh, and Topgolf.

 

[Angelic]

It's going to be tough if you don't already have a social circle with friends that can hook you up. I would go to a bar honestly, and try and scope someone out that you like. But the best way is through your social circle.

 

[ApparentHorizon]

Well isn't that the point, maybe? Find someone who you can get there with? Speaking from my position I still find that site attracting. Even if the person isn't there yet at least I know it's on his thoughts. Maybe I can motivate him and he can also be my motivation voice. Although I'm not ready to make a profile anywhere...I'd rather keep that as a plan B lol

Was posted 2 times already, but TOASTMASTERS. I met my GF through this tight-knit community and been together 3 years now.

I'm constantly meeting great men & women in organizations and classes, where people are actively working on their life. It really shows you the side you never see online. The vulnerable part of a person, how they react to criticism, how they grow and develop.

The facebook effect as I call it, is stupid easy to pull off on any online profile. Upper camera angles, like a few pages with a good cause, show that 1 adventure you went on...once, bunch of people you never talk to...etc.

As entrepreneurs we say, it's the journey, the process. What if you applied the same requirements to your dating life?

P.S. Also introvert, she does all the talking and it's fantastic

 

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[AgainstAllOdds]

I have a lot of successful male friends so I'll try my best to give you advice based on what I've seen.

The first thing you want to do is identify places where you should NOT meet guys. Those places include:

• Tinder
• Bars
• Nightclubs
• Cruises
• Parties
• Dating sites that require little to no effort
• Etc.

Think of it from a guy's perspective. All of those places a guy goes in with the mentality of "I just want to get some a$$." There's very little focus on you as an individual and more focus on manipulating you to get comfortable with them and sleep with them.

(I suggest reading a "pickup" book to get a better idea of where shitty guys are most likely to approach you)

You're a lot better off meeting good guys in one of two environments: 1) where they have to invest a bit of effort to meet girls; 2) where they're not looking for girls.

Those places include:

• Church
• Charity events
• Sports (real sports, not something like "kickball" or "softball" where people are lonely and just want to meet anyone)
• Hobbies
• Dating sites like eHarmony (look up which sites are most likely to result in marriage ... maybe you don't want to get married, but those are the sites most likely to be worth it)
• Meetups
• Through Friends
• Etc.

Take a look at the list above. All of those places filter out the bottom rung of guys just looking to lie to you and get laid. Eliminating the shitty guys will improve your probability of finding a good guy.

If you go the dating site route, then WRITE IN YOUR PROFILE that you're interested in personal growth, entrepreneurship, etc. I use Tinder for easy girls, but occasionally I see a girl that's like minded and treat her differently. I message her with something about entrepreneurship, etc and want to talk about that more so than just getting her to grab a drink.

You can use apps like Tinder, but you need to create some sort of filter to filter out the basic guys.

Friend groups are honestly the easiest and most effective ways to meet guys, but you have to have the right friends to introduce you into more friends. Maybe meet other female entrepreneurs, build friendships, and "network" your way into meeting good guys. In a lot of areas, I have friends introduce me to their friends, and then it's easy for us to connect because we're like minded.

 

[Techylove]

As a girl, some of the places I have met guys I actually want to meet was at tech meetup's, Coworking spaces, and networking events. I live in a huge tech city so going to tech events and being an actual girl (you know the kind that wears dresses) can be kind of daunting sometimes because being genuinely nice often gets mistaken for flirting but unfortunately, I'm in FastLane mode so dating is taking a back burner but it kind of depends on what you like! If you're like me and tech is your thing then all the things I mentioned above are amazing ways to meet guys. If you're looking for a "FastLane" type guy, who gets it. Good luck they're the ones who are hiding in darkest corners of co-working spaces and coffee shops not paying attention to anyone or anything.

But in all seriousness, as people have said find your hobbies and go to events and just chill, it's obvious when someone is "looking" so don't look like you're looking just have fun and relax

 

[Ninjakid]

I don't really go anywhere to actively meet girls. I just go about my life and sometimes I meet them in the process. You'll see the best results if you radically be your best self, and you'll meet the right person in one of the places you go.

I kinda follow a "nothing is a coincidence" path and find the right person and I will find each other no matter the circumstances.

 

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[oldirty]

Why so much hate for bars and nightclubs?

I'm in my mid-twenties and couldn't think of a better place to meet people. They are the fast lane of the dating world. People are literally there to meet mates (either for hookups, or possibly long term relationships) You just have to take what you see and experience at face value, don't have more than two drinks, and be home before midnight.

Most bars and night clubs are literally just a mating pool. Single people go there usually to meet other single people. Girls and guys get dressed up in the hopes of finding a mate. Plus you get to immidiately determine if you want to proceed with the people you meet with minimal time lost. You meet a guy and five minutes of talking later you realize he's dick, you move on to the next one. The same situation on online dating and you just wasted a whole night.

Yes, you can volunteer at a charity or join a club in hopes of finding a like minded prince charming. But what are those people there to do? They're not there to meet potential mates, they're there to do whatever it is that brought them there. What if these clubs or events don't have any interesting mates or maybe the person you like is already spoken for, then you just wasted your time. Plus, nobody likes the person who does something just to "meet chicks" ( or guys).

So i would say go to the nightclubs or bars, that's where I'll be. Just practice self control and limit yourself on alchohol, and don't stay out late because that's when poor decisions are made. Good luck.

 

[tiagosoares17.22]

I am going to share my experience with you:
- most of the girls I dated, I either met them through an event we went or online.

The girls I meet online that I wanted (and ended up dating), I always met them outside of Tinder. That's interesting if I give a thought.
Basically, I would message them randomly through Facebook or Instagram because I saw a post they did, or an event they went in common and from there we started to speak. That led to a few dates, which led to us dating.

If you are looking for fun, Tinder and Clubs are the places to go. If you look for people who might be more serious, and with higher chances of meeting high-quality people, it's always better to look outside of those places. The reason? It's not because men or girls who go to pubs and use tinder are of less quality (or whatever people can think), it's just because it's WAY HARDER to filter them through the noise. There are MANY options, many noise, and a lot of them are only looking to have fun.