Ever wonder how people end up in dead end jobs at 40?

[Supa]

While I'm sitting here at my job right now, I just witnessed a convo between two colleagues.

Both are women, one maybe 35 years old, while the other probably around 45.

I had to pull out my headphones, to listen to their convo because it's a great example of what I DON'T WANT my life to look like in 10 and in 20 years (yes I'm listening to music at the job, to avoid all those discussions about the latest bachelor episode or about this and that job stuff.)

Since I had my headphones on at first, I don't know how the convo started but it went something like this:

35yo "... That *insert a stupid job thing* was crazy yesterday."

45yo "yes I had planned to do some sport yesterday and also meet with a friend afterwards.. I canceled both because I was so exhausted.."

35yo "ha, at least you have something like going to the gym or meeting with a friend.."

45yo "I just need to do something after work, otherwise my whole life would feel like it's only the job.. I thought you take piano lessons?"

35yo "yeah once every 2 weeks.."

45yo "you have your music, and I just need to get out sometimes, to get our thougths to other topics besides the job.."

Think about it. 10 years from now.

If you're in your 20s like me, do you want your only escape from the job to be an hour of piano course 2 days a month?

If you're 35, do you want your job to control every other area of your life? Isn't that a great thought? Something you don't like being the centre of your life? Excuse me while I puke..

If you're 45, do you want to live another 20 years like the last 20?

Ask yourself where you want to be in 10 years.

Sitting in that sandwich store in your 30mins break, eating a sandwich that costs more than you earned the last 2 hours?

Or standing at your colleague's desk, talking about how your whole life revolves around a job? Without realizing it, talking about how this job squeezes out every little bit of energy you got left in you.

I know how easy it is to waste 5 years of my life. How quickly they pass.

Since you're living from weekend to weekend you're not really counting in 365s but rather in 52s. Remember how long a year seemed back in school? With most hours of the day free to use for you? Hanging out with friends, going to the lake/beach, playing some type of sport game with your friends.

That was back then when your calender still had 365 days instead of only 52 weeks.

I started working at my job in 2009.

Those 7 years passed by so F*cking fast, they seem so short. They seem so short because the only moments worth remembering are the 52 weekends plus the 3-4 weeks of vacation-time.

While those years had their moments, most of them were wasted.

I wasted 5 years working jobs, while living on the weekends.

Thinking back how fast those 5 years went by, it seems so scary how fast those 5 would add up to 10, 15, 20.

Just another 52 weekends and you will sit there at your job on a friday. The same date, just another year. Looking forward to create memories the upcoming weekend.

One of the few great memories to remember when you sit at that desk the upcoming monday morning.

Adding up to even fewer great memories of your adult life.

This sad amount of great memories could be viewed as a stone.

A stone laying next to a mountain.

A mountain that resembles the rest of your lifetime so far.

We all have that stone and that mountain in our lifes.

It's just that some chose to turn this around.

For them the stone resembles the suffering.

While the mountain resembles the great memories.

Memories that fill a life worth remembering on the deathbed.

And one thing is sure.

They didn't count their years in 52 weeks.

They lived every one of the 365 days of it.

Plus an extra day every 4 years

 

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[Vigilante]

I'm still cranking. I don't think I will ever really retire. In fact, after the summit, I started pressing hard again (thanks @Kung Fu Steve and all of the rest of the presenters and attendees.)

Here's one way life looks different.

I woke up this morning, and decided not to go to the office. The house will be quiet, and the office can survive without me. So, it's Friday, and my office will be a patio table under an umbrella in my back yard. And, I will get done in a few hours more than an employee does in a day. The key to the patio office? Zero distractions.

We decided to go spend a few months in my native state of Minnesota in a few weeks. So, while everything continues to hum along here, I will slip away to Minnesota. I posted in another thread that I can work from anywhere.

We'll be on the Pacific Islands for three weeks over the summer. Everyone is like "nice vacation." I guess. I will still be working, but from a tiki hut with a coconut drink in my hand. I can run the business from anywhere. I can be in Florida today, Minnesota tomorrow, and Maui Sunday.

This type of lifestyle wasn't available 20 years ago. Technology and innovation has made the 4HWW available. For Ferriss, and for me, it was never about working for 4 hours a week. For MJ, it isn't about working for 4 hours a week. It's about the freedom of being unchained from a 9-5, earning money for someone else. It's about limits that only exist in your mind. It's about separating your time from your income.

Freedom.

You could go back to the office 10 years from now, and the same anonymous faces would be having the same conversation. The names change, but the story remains the same.

 

[ddzc]

Love this thread and it's a great reminder of why we're all here in the first place...to be free.

I try to educate people on fastlane psychology regularly and people just don't get it, they don't understand a thing I'm saying. They think travelling 2 weeks out of the year is being free, SMH. This is the reason I'm always on this forum, always involved in the local meetups, I need to be surrounding by the people who GET IT!

A cool thing did happen not too long ago..I spoke with an old manager of mine (in his 50s) and he's a huge book reader. I tossed him a link to the millionaire fastlane on amazon and he immediately ordered the audio version. Finally, someone who took immediate action and I truly hope it changes him.

 

[Jamie T]

Last week, one of my friends told me that his co-worker who wanted to meet me. His co-worker found out what I do and read the 4HWW.

Alright, cool. No big deal. I decided to go with my friend to meet two of his co-workers.

The guy who read the 4HWW started asking questions and was engaged in the conversation. The other guy (I'm not sure why he was there) immediately shut down everything I said. It's cool though...I'm used to that.

He said things along the lines of, "I don't believe that." "I just want to work until I retire so I can work in a shop on a golf course and enjoy myself."

I laughed to myself because this guy is around the same age as me (mid 20's) and had his whole life planned out...

...with the climax being able to retire and work at a golf shop.


Apparently, he loves golf and couldn't wait for the weekend to get out on the course.

I sat there thinking, "really? Is this real life? I could go to the golf course every single day right now, NOT work in the shop, and spend the rest of my day building my business. Why wait 40+ years?"

Instead, his days look like this: wake up, join morning traffic to "try" to get the work on time, work 9-5 (and then some more, because he's getting those extra overtime hours), join traffic to get home, workout, sleep, repeat for 40+ years.

I let that go. No point in wasting my breath. I'm glad whatever he thinks or does has nothing to do with me.

Here's the rough part.

You could go back to the office 10 years from now, and the same anonymous faces would be having the same conversation. The names change, but the story remains the same.

The rest of the conversation was them going back and forth talking about how bad their jobs are, how bad their bosses are, and how they're looking for a better job somewhere else.

A better job... how can it be better when they're going to have the same conversations after they get it?

It was tough to sit there and listen to that. I couldn't sit still. I needed to get out of there.

I recommended TMF to the guy who had some interest and went on with my life.

 

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[Vigilante]

Last week, one of my friends told me that his co-worker who wanted to meet me. His co-worker found out what I do and read the 4HWW.

Alright, cool. No big deal. I decided to go with my friend to meet two of his co-workers.

The guy who read the 4HWW started asking questions and was engaged in the conversation. The other guy (I'm not sure why he was there) immediately shut down everything I said. It's cool though...I'm used to that.

He said things along the lines of, "I don't believe that." "I just want to work until I retire so I can work in a shop on a golf course and enjoy myself."

I laughed to myself because this guy is around the same age as me (mid 20's) and had his whole life planned out...

...with the climax being able to retire and work at a golf shop.


Apparently, he loves golf and couldn't wait for the weekend to get out on the course.

I sat there thinking, "really? Is this real life? I could go to the golf course every single day right now, NOT work in the shop, and spend the rest of my day building my business. Why wait 40+ years?"

Instead, his days look like this: wake up, join morning traffic to "try" to get the work on time, work 9-5 (and then some more, because he's getting those extra overtime hours), join traffic to get home, workout, sleep, repeat for 40+ years.

I let that go. No point in wasting my breath. I'm glad whatever he thinks or does has nothing to do with me.

Here's the rough part.

The rest of the conversation was them going back and forth talking about how bad their jobs are, how bad their bosses are, and how they're looking for a better job somewhere else.

A better job... how can it be better when they're going to have the same conversations after they get it?

It was tough sitting there and listening to that. I couldn't sit still. I needed to get out of there.

I recommended TMF to the guy who had some interest and went on with my life.

If you can't beat 'em...jo...

WAIT

You CAN beat 'em

 

[ddzc]

Last week, one of my friends told me that his co-worker who wanted to meet me. His co-worker found out what I do and read the 4HWW.

Alright, cool. No big deal. I decided to go with my friend to meet two of his co-workers.

The guy who read the 4HWW started asking questions and was engaged in the conversation. The other guy (I'm not sure why he was there) immediately shut down everything I said. It's cool though...I'm used to that.

He said things along the lines of, "I don't believe that." "I just want to work until I retire so I can work in a shop on a golf course and enjoy myself."

I laughed to myself because this guy is around the same age as me (mid 20's) and had his whole life planned out...

...with the climax being able to retire and work at a golf shop.


Apparently, he loves golf and couldn't wait for the weekend to get out on the course.

I sat there thinking, "really? Is this real life? I could go to the golf course every single day right now, NOT work in the shop, and spend the rest of my day building my business. Why wait 40+ years?"

Instead, his days look like this: wake up, join morning traffic to "try" to get the work on time, work 9-5 (and then some more, because he's getting those extra overtime hours), join traffic to get home, workout, sleep, repeat for 40+ years.

I let that go. No point in wasting my breath. I'm glad whatever he thinks or does has nothing to do with me.

Here's the rough part.

The rest of the conversation was them going back and forth talking about how bad their jobs are, how bad their bosses are, and how they're looking for a better job somewhere else.

A better job... how can it be better when they're going to have the same conversations after they get it?

It was tough to sit there and listen to that. I couldn't sit still. I needed to get out of there.

I recommended TMF to the guy who had some interest and went on with my life.

You did your job. You tried to shift their mindset and show them a different path but they refused. I wish I received such a shortcut many many years ago.

I had a similar mindset. I had no idea what opportunities were out there. I thought because I didn't come from a rich family and didn't go to university, I would never make it, not even a 6 figure salary. In college, I remember telling myself these exact words "All I want is to make 60k a year and I'm set for life". After college, it took me a few years to hit that working slow lane jobs and I was like wtf, this is shit.

I then started service based businesses on the side but it only earned me a small amount due to the limited amount of free time I had on evenings and weekends. I knew it wasn't enough. I knew a brick and mortar style business was out of the question due to capital, so I started looking online. I then looked at flippa websites for sale, filtered it down to the guys making over 10k a mth and analyzed. This was back in 2008. I noticed affiliate marketers killing it. I then joined all of the forums, learnt it all including SEO. I saw guys make 20-30k a mth and was blown away. Long story short, from 2008-2013 I did affiliate marketing until it totally collapsed on me in one night and went to $0/mth in revenue. I tried figuring out wtf I did wrong...I then found this forum and read the book. From that moment further, it all made sense. I still have the email I sent to MJ after reading the book and telling him about my affiliate marketing empire which tanked in a single night while I was asleep and thanked him for the book.

It took me YEARS to find this place and another year or 2 to actually read the book and understand all of my faults and failures. This is why I love and respect the youngsers on the forum who have found it here, read the book and are taking action at an early stage in life. They're light years ahead of everyone. All we can do it educate people out there and give them the shortcuts to this place so they can educate themselves on alternative options out there. But at the end of the day, we can't help the folks who are too stubborn in their own ways or too damn lazy to take action and get out of their comfort zones.

 

[Premixedd]

I just quit a sales job today. Place had me feeling the same as the guy described in the original post... I have been in that position far too many times, and yet I am only 25 years young. Funny because this sales job was selling what I am most passionate about, yet it still ended up bringing me back to that hollow feeling of working a dead end job. I have about $5 to my name right now, a one month old son, and a soon to be wife that relies on me as the main source of income. Am I scared? Hell yes i am, but thats what makes us or breaks us right?

Don't be afraid to take steps people, your dreams won't become reality just sitting in one spot, even if its spending your days on this computer. Get out and take some action! A good friend of mine who passed away some years ago once told me, "Do at least one thing every day that scares you."

 

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[million$$$smile]

When your backs against the wall,

KNOCK DOWN THE FRICKEN WALL!

 

[maverick]

I laughed to myself because this guy is around the same age as me (mid 20's) and had his whole life planned out...

...with the climax being able to retire and work at a golf shop.

I do get what you're saying however people have differing levels of ambitions and thus a different perception of what constitutes "happiness'. If all he needs is retirement and to work in a golf shop to be happy then who are we to judge him?

 

[domi99]

I turned down what I assume was a legitimate offer once to earn $1m a year salary in 1999/2000. More money then than I could imagine.

I'd have to move my small kids away from all family, and to Hong Kong.

I hated Hong Kong. Really didn't spend much time considering it.

Some things simply are not for sale. All depends on what you are willing to trade away for a paycheck I guess.

That's the best statement I've read in a long time. Thanks for your post. Rep+

 

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[GMSI7D]

This really hit home for me since I am turning 40 in just a few days. I am not in a dead end job but I do feel "anxious" that time is not on my side and I have a lot more things I want to do. I better get busy!

40 is the age when we have to make a choice : achieving freedom or remaining a working slave until we are old or die.


this is serious time. red pill or blue pill as seen on the matrix movie

i will be 40 in september : i don't want to be a slave anymore

 

[Paul David]

I was listening to the radio the other morning whilst taking my children to school, the presenter was telling his listeners how he'd been to see Lionel Richie in concert the night before but unfortunately as he had to be up early for work the next morning he had to leave the concert early. He was berating how he'd missed his favourite Lionel classics like "Hello" and "Dancing on the Ceiling".

I actually couldn't get my head around how someone can pay £50-80 to see a concert then have to leave early so they can get a few hours sleep before work. I think the he left the concert at 10.45pm and had to be up for work at 4am.

I told my Wife how irritated i was by the fact that people actually live their lives like that. Her response was somewhat spikey (she works full time herself for a company) and told me that not everyone was like me. That's just how the majority of people live who work.

It made my feel quite sad to be honest. I see how people who don't "get it" can get quite touchy not realising that they have the power to change, IF they wanted to instead of being hamsters on a wheel day in day out.

 

[MTF]

I see how people who don't "get it" can get quite touchy not realising that they have the power to change, IF they wanted to instead of being hamsters on a wheel day in day out.

As much as I'm trying to understand these people, I don't think I'll ever be able to do so. I can understand that some people prefer safety and stability a 9 to 5 job can supposedly give them, but I don't understand how you can live your life like an "adult" (being so "responsible" that you get zero fun out of your life).

The story about Lionel Richie's concert is very sad. However, if it was really that important to the guy then I think he would stay anyway, get 3-4 hours of sleep and suffer the next day. One day of small suffering in exchange for lifetime memories. I think it's a no-brainer decision.

 

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[SteveO]

I told my Wife how irritated i was by the fact that people actually live their lives like that.

People do what they want to do. They have their reasons. Why would you be irritated by this? Some people enjoy hunting, others like the opera. I don't like either but it does not bother me.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Why would you be irritated by this? Some people enjoy hunting, others like the opera.

I can't speak for his mindset behind his irritation, but I'd speculate it's not a question of liking opera or hunting...

It's when you go to the opera and complain "God, I hate the opera" -- and yet, you continue going, over and over again.

 

[SteveO]

It's when you go to the opera and complain "God, I hate the opera" -- and yet, you continue going, over and over again.

Good point.

Outside of my friends and acquaintances on this forum, I know very few people that consider or understand this way of thinking. There would be an incredible amount of energy spent trying to understand the other side. You have a different set of people coming to you due to your incredible book and forum. I, on the other hand, only have a lot of people questioning my sanity while wondering why I do what I do. It is not worth the time or energy to even analyze other people or their motives anymore.

 

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[Liberty T. Vance]

Teacher here. I've literally never thought of this... but you're absolutely right. No one is there to teach the kids that there is an alternative, because none of the teachers had an alternative. Maybe it's just my school, but teachers are insufferable. It's a total groupthink, drone atmosphere, where free-thinking and contrary opinions are non-existent, and they are all slaves to the big standardized test.

Thankfully, I'm just the music guy, and no one gives a shit what I do.

I'm currently teaching economics to high school students in China.

I'm constantly pointing out to them that there are alternatives. Not all of them are meant to or should go to a University.

Maybe instead of their parents spending $100,000 USD a year (more or less) to go abroad to a University they should start a business possibly fail and start another.

Or if their parents own a factory ask them if you can work there during summer break starting at the bottom and work your way through the ranks.

Unfortunately for some their just pawns for their parents to move money out of China, culturally not acceptable and/or it just doesn't register as something that can be done.

Now I just need to get my 52 year old a$$ in gear and take my own advice... Ha, ha...

 

[Paul David]

People do what they want to do. They have their reasons. Why would you be irritated by this? Some people enjoy hunting, others like the opera. I don't like either but it does not bother me.

It was more a misuse of the word irritated. Rather a feeling of sadness for people like that but as you say and i agree each to their own.

 

[JokerCrazyBeatz]

I like this , makes you think

 

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[Get Right]

A whole lot of people are terrified of uncertainty.

If only they understood the certain road is possibly the most uncertain.

 

[Lanefaster]

I feel empathy for others, but I'm not sad. Everyone (unless you have some kind of deficiency) are responsible for their own lives and have a chance to change it.

Not to look like a vainglorious dickhead who thinks he has some kind of special powers, but I'm really happy that I'm under 18 and have discovered TMF etc.

I have a chance. Everybody does. I'm gonna F*cking die some day. Why should I spend my entire life slaving for others and doing shit I don't want to do?


P.S. Am I the only one that thinks TV is a total waste of time? (Actually I know I am not. Just sharing my thoughts.) Btw, P.S. is one of the most important parts of any sales letter, and it's often read first, before the body copy. Source: Ca$hversting by Drew Eric Whitman

 

[hellolin]

A whole lot of people are terrified of uncertainty.

If only they understood the certain road is possibly the most uncertain.

The riskiest position is to work yourself to a position of no risk.

 

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[iceyblitz]

Thanks for writing this.

 

[GMSI7D]

The riskiest position is to work yourself to a position of no risk.

let's say it is easier for people with no children to ask for adventure. ( i don't have any by the way )

at least, if you fail, you just have to save your a$$ from the cold street and humiliation.

while people with loans and children prefer to keep their job.

 

[Chimp]

And once you understand this --- it is the day you should buy a calendar, put a big red circle on a date in the future, and count down the days to that day.

Nothing short of escape is an option once you get it.

Could you explain what you mean by this? Are you saying to circle a future date and count down the days to escape reality as you work on auto pilot improving your business?

edit: I see what you mean now. I'm on page 7 and I see you said " To those of you with a job (today), you need to psychologically take the edge back by looking at it as a game, and YOU decide when the checkmate is going to occur. While you are being the best employee your company ever had, you need to have a freedom date in mind. That will change your mindset. Every day when you walk in the door to train in your know nothing director, recognize she or her protege she is training to take your job will still be there when you are long gone. You having an END GAME in sight will make the days pass more tolerably, when you look at your current paycheck as a means to an end. The company doesn't own you. One day, you will emancipate yourself. This is the beginning of your story, not the end of it. The change for you can start with your own resolve."

It's not to escape reality but to know with work and dedication your last day of work will come. Knowing that you have that day keeps your eye on the prize.

Damn man. Everything you've said on this thread is extremely real and inspiring. Just wanted to say thanks for this thread and the many others you've made.

 

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[ZF Lee]

I feel empathy for others, but I'm not sad. Everyone (unless you have some kind of deficiency) are responsible for their own lives and have a chance to change it.

Not to look like a vainglorious dickhead who thinks he has some kind of special powers, but I'm really happy that I'm under 18 and have discovered TMF etc.

I have a chance. Everybody does. I'm gonna F*cking die some day. Why should I spend my entire life slaving for others and doing shit I don't want to do?


P.S. Am I the only one that thinks TV is a total waste of time? (Actually I know I am not. Just sharing my thoughts.) Btw, P.S. is one of the most important parts of any sales letter, and it's often read first, before the body copy. Source: Ca$hversting by Drew Eric Whitman

Ha,ha....love the P.S part. Sales hooker there! Keywords are important too...'going fast'...'free'...and price slashes....

 

[ZF Lee]

The riskiest position is to work yourself to a position of no risk.

Or, only the dead have no risk. The Slowlane is still subject to harsher, if not just as harsh, realities of downsizing, market downturns, corporate politics and salary slashes.

 

[ZF Lee]

I, on the other hand, only have a lot of people questioning my sanity while wondering why I do what I do. It is not worth the time or energy to even analyze other people or their motives anymore.

I know right!

I have had people asking me whether I needed a pilgrimage to a holy land to recover and even get mocked for my ideas.
But I suppose that a prophet is never welcomed in his hometown...

 

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[KOS2186]

This is harrowing and motivating at the same time.

Reading this story makes me feel a little bit sick to my stomach. Thank you for posting this.

 

[StarKodomo]

It is a lie I allowed myself to believe and delusional to think that you can recover or pay forward any lost time.

There's only going to be one third grade Christmas concert, one age 10 first soccer practice, and one first dance you get to take pre-pictures for. You don't get any do overs when you voluntarily let other things take priority over moments you can't get back.

I have two grown children. I would sacrifice nearly anything I have to be able to go back in time and make different decisions than the ones I made in their early childhood. I convinced myself I was sacrificing on their behalf – but in reality what I was sacrificing was them.

I struggled to write that last sentence.

Spent the last 10 minutes reading and re-reading this post. I've gotten immeasurable value from this forum, but don't think any single post has affected and kicked my a$$ as much as this one has. Thanks @Vigilante and rep+