Down and out... a warning.

[CigarMan]

Sorry to here about the job, but it just goes to show how things can change in a flash because of some corporate memo or an economic shift.

So what's the plan now?

And welcome back to the forum my friend.

The plan for this year is to stop the spiral.

Cut out the alcohol, weed, and junk food.

Start a intense workout routine.

Start a keto diet with intermittent fasting.. which has done wonders in the past.

Raise my standards... keep things in tip top shape.

Find some positive influences to counteract my negative thinking. I will read 1 book a week.

Good to be back.

 

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[CigarMan]

Yeh little goals help for example ok I'm going to the gym 2 days this week and eating well no processed crap then the next week just build upon it every week, could be ok when I go down the street and do grocery shopping I'm gonna put my shoulders back, chest out smile and say hello to someone, next time a little more. You get the picture, just starting small and building can have a huge impact doing it on a consistent basis in a very short space of time.

I am starting today. No more wasted days. There is a lot I can do that I am not doing. I will see how things go from there.

 

[Art@AssetProfit]

Years ago I told myself why work all year to spend a week or 2 where you really want to be? So I packed up and moved to Asia. Paradise? Haha it will always be what we make it no matter where we are but I was born in frosty Chicago and hibernating for months is not living for me.

But you can not leave friends and relatives still in the rat race and commuting back and forth every day and think you can have problems overseas and everyone will be there to bail you out. You have to suck it up and produce.

Another thing they have call centers everywhere and they may have their get off work happy hours at 8am in the morning they are singing at karaoke bars surrounded by bottles of beer at 8am if you did not have discipline at home you damn sure will not over seas.

But when I see the living conditions compared to what I am used to and people still make sure their kids are smiling that they are smiling even in adverse conditions I never ever think of my challenges as overwhelming.

You have to wake up each day and say the right words.

Not damn I need money how am I going to make money.

You have to say Somebody needs money how can I help THEM make money. You do that and you will also make money.

While you feeling sorry for self someone has boils or acne they need to get rid of and a credit card in hand searching for a solution.

You read there is a new whatever and alot of people will be wondering how to operate it make money with it or something so you create a resource on it and sell it or use it to collect leads and sell them on your mailing list.

Just Get in front of them with a solution. Does not have to be your product can be an affiliate product.

It's billions of dollars changing hands online..get yours. Heck write a book on depression. You have to picture yourself in Jail, Hospital or Cemetery then be grateful and get to work.

Send me an email or PM I will give you my newest books complimentary I know they will set a spark under you my friend.

Art

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Thanks man.

I have developed a very negative and critical mindset that has a strong grip on me, the comments really are helping me wake up.

Good thing mindsets don't have any actual hands to grip you with so that's not a problem

I think I have come to the realization that it doesn't matter what I think or how I feel. I just need to start taking positive action.

You take positive action to feel good, not feel good in order to take positive action.

One precedes the other.

I don't have any big goals.

How about you start with any goal? Why do they have to be big? Get to the gym this week. That's a goal. Achieve it!

I just want to stop the downward slide, get some confidence back.

 

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[IceCreamKid]

4 things, some of which have already been mentioned:

1. Get in shape. PM me if you want some pdf's outlining my strength routines.
2. Stop eating/drinking crap
3. Build competence in a skill that pays you
4. Talk to humans face to face

Do this for one year.

There is a dark side to entrepreneurship that social media rarely discusses. Remember you're not alone...you're not the first to go through this and certainly not the last. You'll be alright, just keep moving forward.

 

[Evil_Jester]

I went out to a meetup.com thing last night. Socializing makes you feel 100% alive, gives clarity, and motivation. Try it out, go to a meetup with the only intention of showing up

 

[CigarMan]

4 things, some of which have already been mentioned:

1. Get in shape. PM me if you want some pdf's outlining my strength routines.
2. Stop eating/drinking crap
3. Build competence in a skill that pays you
4. Talk to humans face to face

Do this for one year.

There is a dark side to entrepreneurship that social media rarely discusses. Remember you're not alone...you're not the first to go through this and certainly not the last. You'll be alright, just keep moving forward.

This is exactly what I am doing.

Having a hard time sleeping without the weed an alcohol so I am exhausted.

Got rid of all the junk food. Went shopping this morning at 8am. Usually I just things delivered. Decided on a keto diet but with some fruit.. so call it low carb.

Someone suggested meditation. I did 40 mins, seems pointless to me but I will give it 90 days.

I did 1 hour the exercise bike and went 19.3 mikes.

Monday I am thinking I will get my car fixed... not exactly sure why but I always had a car.

As for skills I can develop. I have had lots of success as a trader in the past. Not sure I want to go that way because I am having a hard time engaging at the required level. I never did this for a living before so maybe the pressure will be too much... but I have consistently made money trading before I became depressed.

 

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[CigarMan]

I went out to a meetup.com thing last night. Socializing makes you feel 100% alive, gives clarity, and motivation. Try it out, go to a meetup with the only intention of showing up

Thanks I will give it a try. I may do some volunteer work too just to get out of the house. I will see how things are in 1 week... right now going cold Turkey on the weed, alcohol and junk food my brain is fried mostly from lack of sleep.

 

[Timmy C]

This is exactly what I am doing.

Having a hard time sleeping without the weed an alcohol so I am exhausted.

Got rid of all the junk food. Went shopping this morning at 8am. Usually I just things delivered. Decided on a keto diet but with some fruit.. so call it low carb.

Someone suggested meditation. I did 40 mins, seems pointless to me but I will give it 90 days.

I did 1 hour the exercise bike and went 19.3 mikes.

Monday I am thinking I will get my car fixed... not exactly sure why but I always had a car.

As for skills I can develop. I have had lots of success as a trader in the past. Not sure I want to go that way because I am having a hard time engaging at the required level. I never did this for a living before so maybe the pressure will be too much... but I have consistently made money trading before I became depressed.

Mate I was exactly where you are a year ago, stoner to much alcohol the whole package. You can and will get through it.

You've got this man, it's good to see you taking action.

 

[MakeItHappen]

Two books that I found helpful regarding depression are:
1. Feeling good by David Burns
2. The Depresion Cure by Dr. Steve Ilardi

Maybe they can be of use to you.

As for skills I can develop. I have had lots of success as a trader in the past. Not sure I want to go that way because I am having a hard time engaging at the required level. I never did this for a living before so maybe the pressure will be too much... but I have consistently made money trading before I became depressed.

I would advise against this. Trading, even when you have an edge, has a lot of swings. There are a lot of ups and downs and in your situation I would look for skills that can give you a stable income... don't take on one of the most stressful jobs coming out of a depression!

 

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[Timmy C]

@CigarMan how you travelling?

 

[CigarMan]

@CigarMan how you travelling?

Thanks for asking.

No weed, no alcohol. Sleeping better finally.

Really hungry all the time, eating too much but no junk food. The problem I think is I need to decrease the carbs which I am doing today.

The markets are stressing me out so I am fixed on that. Not doing what I should be doing in regards to working out and keeping up standards... but I will change that today.

Currently reading how to win friends and influence people....

Too many hours in the day when you are sober and don't want to spend my days watching TV and playing games.... (still better than sleeping all day). Thinking about learning Amazon FBA just to see if I can engage and execute on something external.

By the end of the year I will come up with some concrete goals.

 

[QFP]

Hi Cigarman
Only my 4th post here but had to login to wish you well.
I too can empathise with your predicament.
At 55 I have pretty much had zero success with little to show for my endeavours.
Anxiety disorders for most of my life etc.
Pretty stressed at the mo..
Anyways not to high jack your thread and blab on about my problems.
Just the best of luck overcoming your hurdles.

 

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[VentureVoyager]

@CigarMan
My two cents. Nobody really talks about it. And it's super important.

I'm super sleepy but "I feel you", man.

Don't start from 40 minutes of meditation. It's like starting your gym adventure with a 5 hour workout. Will it get you addicted to physical activity? No, it will make you hate gym and make you feel sick and overwhelmed. You will stop very soon and go back to downspiralling.

That's why most people fail their new year commitments. I did absolutely nothing for the past five years, or entire life, now I will start exercising 4 times a week for 2 hours. Hell yeah, what a great idea.

Start SMALL with everything. Do LESS that you would actually like to.
Start from working 1 hour a day on your business. When the timer rings, it's over. Congratulate yourself, but there's no more working for you. Workout 20 minutes a day, and NO MORE, even if you really want to spend days there.
Meditate 5 minutes a day, even if you feel like sitting there for 40 minutes.

Do you see what that does to you?

It gradually makes you angry that you can only take little steps. You are tricking your mind into the positive direciton. Instead of showing it that the new habit/thing or getting back to something you used to do is exhausting and overwhelming, you make yourself itchy to do more each day.

Instead of throwing youtself into the raging ocean and drowning, you learn how to swim again and develop passion for swimming. You build a habit.

Gradually increase the time you allow yourself to work/workout/whatever you should be doing.
You should get addicted to your new positive habits soon.

And keep a productivity spreadsheet and gratitude journal.
5 victories every single day. Can be super small, like getting out of bed before 9 am. But FIVE, every-single-day. And give yourself credit. Don't expect too much when you're starting from the low point. Certainly don't go the Gary V "hustle/grind for 23 hours a day and sleep one money money money success success success" way, you will get to a reasonable levels gradually. Have high standards, don't tolerate lame behaviors, but show yourself some understanding. Nothing worst than beating yourself up when you're depressed.

Reward yourself for every successful day (5 victories) - but in a healthy way that SUPPORTS you.

Read "The Compound Effect" if you haven't yet.

Also

QUIT - F*ckING - WEED. FOREVER.
It kills people. It's not "just weed, cmon", it's a deadly trap. I'm talking from my 12 years experience of smoking that ended very badly. Don't believe me? Ask clinical psychiatrists. But that's a topic for another post.

Good luck!

 

[Timmy C]

Thanks for asking.

No weed, no alcohol. Sleeping better finally.

Really hungry all the time, eating too much but no junk food. The problem I think is I need to decrease the carbs which I am doing today.

The markets are stressing me out so I am fixed on that. Not doing what I should be doing in regards to working out and keeping up standards... but I will change that today.

Currently reading how to win friends and influence people....

Too many hours in the day when you are sober and don't want to spend my days watching TV and playing games.... (still better than sleeping all day). Thinking about learning Amazon FBA just to see if I can engage and execute on something external.

By the end of the year I will come up with some concrete goals.

Good keep it up.

I second giving up weed forever, glad I don't touch the stuff anymore been over a year now I reckon.

 

[CigarMan]

Hi Cigarman
Only my 4th post here but had to login to wish you well.
I too can empathise with your predicament.
At 55 I have pretty much had zero success with little to show for my endeavours.
Anxiety disorders for most of my life etc.
Pretty stressed at the mo..
Anyways not to high jack your thread and blab on about my problems.
Just the best of luck overcoming your hurdles.

It is not my thread. I am feeling much better. No drugs, alcohol, junk food and exercise.

It is easy to get into negative thinking and bad habits. I think we program ourselves like machines.

Some people have great programming and that is 90% of the battle.

Be grateful for what you have... focus on what you can do today...

Good keep it up.

I second giving up weed forever, glad I don't touch the stuff anymore been over a year now I reckon.

I love and hate the stuff. I love it for how it gives me a different perspective and creativity. I hate it because it using it on a regular basis result in being more emotional and less stable.

I think using it occasionally is fine but when you depend on it to sleep, feel better then you get in a cycle that is not good.

I can only speak for myself.

 

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[CigarMan]

@CigarMan
My two cents. Nobody really talks about it. And it's super important.

I'm super sleepy but "I feel you", man.

Don't start from 40 minutes of meditation. It's like starting your gym adventure with a 5 hour workout. Will it get you addicted to physical activity? No, it will make you hate gym and make you feel sick and overwhelmed. You will stop very soon and go back to downspiralling.

That's why most people fail their new year commitments. I did absolutely nothing for the past five years, or entire life, now I will start exercising 4 times a week for 2 hours. Hell yeah, what a great idea.

Start SMALL with everything. Do LESS that you would actually like to.
Start from working 1 hour a day on your business. When the timer rings, it's over. Congratulate yourself, but there's no more working for you. Workout 20 minutes a day, and NO MORE, even if you really want to spend days there.
Meditate 5 minutes a day, even if you feel like sitting there for 40 minutes.

Do you see what that does to you?

It gradually makes you angry that you can only take little steps. You are tricking your mind into the positive direciton. Instead of showing it that the new habit/thing or getting back to something you used to do is exhausting and overwhelming, you make yourself itchy to do more each day.

Instead of throwing youtself into the raging ocean and drowning, you learn how to swim again and develop passion for swimming. You build a habit.

Gradually increase the time you allow yourself to work/workout/whatever you should be doing.
You should get addicted to your new positive habits soon.

And keep a productivity spreadsheet and gratitude journal.
5 victories every single day. Can be super small, like getting out of bed before 9 am. But FIVE, every-single-day. And give yourself credit. Don't expect too much when you're starting from the low point. Certainly don't go the Gary V "hustle/grind for 23 hours a day and sleep one money money money success success success" way, you will get to a reasonable levels gradually. Have high standards, don't tolerate lame behaviors, but show yourself some understanding. Nothing worst than beating yourself up when you're depressed.

Reward yourself for every successful day (5 victories) - but in a healthy way that SUPPORTS you.

Read "The Compound Effect" if you haven't yet.

Also

QUIT - f*ckING - WEED. FOREVER.
It kills people. It's not "just weed, cmon", it's a deadly trap. I'm talking from my 12 years experience of smoking that ended very badly. Don't believe me? Ask clinical psychiatrists. But that's a topic for another post.

Good luck!

Thanks man. I make a list of a few things I know I can do everyday. Small shit but I do it and is my daily starting point. I still go beyond this everyday because I actually starting to enjoy the peace that comes from some serious exercise for example.

For me I find 30 mins of cardio does nothing to change my state of mind... the next 30 mins does wonders so I do 1 hour min.

Quitting the drugs, alcohol and junk food has made me feel 50% better.

Hard to describe to people the state you are in when depression hits you... Hope is gone and every avenue you can imagine leads to more suffering.

 

[AdamUK]

Thanks I will give it a try. I may do some volunteer work too just to get out of the house. I will see how things are in 1 week... right now going cold Turkey on the weed, alcohol and junk food my brain is fried mostly from lack of sleep.

Volunteer work is a great way to socialize and be productive without the pressure and stress of full time work. Find something you enjoy doing. (I volunteered with a local wildlife conservation team in my twenties, lots of outdoor manual labour, fresh air and no pressure to be social)

Also check out social anxiety forums they have local meetups organised through the year. You go knowing others understand social anxiety.

 

[D_Benga]

Fast forward many years later... I lost my job, life sucks and depressed. A job can disappear so don't be lazy.

There are always ups and downs in life. Just remember as the good times didn't last forever (when you had job and everything), the bad time will pass too. It's only temporary.

 

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[Surf16]

1. Get in shape. PM me if you want some pdf's outlining my strength routines.
2. Stop eating/drinking crap
3. Build competence in a skill that pays you
4. Talk to humans face to face

Great advice @IceCreamKid

I've excelled at the first two - I'm in the best shape at 43 thanks to Krav Maga and being a gym rat for over 20 years.

If anyone needs any help with any tips or help on Mixed Martial Arts or Fitness routines let me know.

My wife being Vegan has allowed me to clean up my eating habits tremendously. I only drink water and the occasional Margarita (love those bad boys).

I'm currently working on #3 - started really getting into Copywriting for my own business. Then thought of approaching freelance work.

For #4 I have been a member of Toastmaster for a little less than a year (highly recommended).

Talking to humans face to face has been my biggest hurdle. I find myself disliking people more and more I interact with them. Tradeshows are torture for me. Toastmasters is helping with that.