Auditing Friends' Circle

[ygtrhos]

Hey everyone,

I guess this thread will address a very common problem of the fastlaners.

Garyvee always says that auditing your friends' circle is the key. I can only confirm that. For the 8 years I have spent in Germany, there was this 2 years span where I really had an amazing flat with amazing flatmates, I had a great mastermind group. They were my buddies and wingmen all the time, we used to hang out and chill and really care about each other.

I really felt cared and inspired at the same time.

Then people move on with their lives. Some marry, some move away, whatever.

The point is, I have almost noone that cares and inspires me at the same time.

To reformulate: I want friends, that have winner character. People with dreams and visions, who really invest time and money on their dreams.

The people who care about me, do not inspire me. (might be a problem of arrogance as well)

I thought where I could find people who have dreams&visions and really act on them:

- Startup pitches, entrepreneur meetups
- Lairs, seduction-related groups
- While traveling, on the way

These were the only three places I have seen people who have inspired me really.

The reason is probably because these groups are all attached to an adventure. They require people to do bold stuff and stick out.

My question to the forum is: Where do you guys find people who make really good friends?

Or where would you go to, if you wanted to find a friend?

Sure, I can meet someone like that everywhere, say, in a beauty parlor as well or fitness studio. But some places have bigger chances than others, isn't it like that?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Deleted50669]

I guess the cliche answer is to look for meetups focused on entrepreneurship. In most metro areas they are abundant (at least they are in east coast US, I'm assuming that generalizes).

Another tactic is to do local networking on LinkedIn. I've found entrepreneurial acquaintances in my city on LinkedIn and invited them out for a coffee, and that has occasionally evolved into friendship (more often than not it just becomes a professional acquaintance, at least for me).

As a certified introvert, I find it difficult to be open with others to this day, despite having many reps. It takes a lot of self-defiance to ignore my natural tendency to avoid others. But every time you allow yourself to exist in others' lives you allow the potential for friendship, it doesn't have to be formulaic or methodical. I have one friend who I talk about business with often that I met at a Memorial Day BBQ.

 

[Longinus]

This question has been asked a lot of times here and it seems to be a worldwide problem. For entrepreneurs looking for ideas, this might be an opportunity!

There's a saying that you're the average of the five people you spend most time with, but I never really found that applying to me. I don't know anybody in my near me where I look up to, and I stopped bothering finding them either. I get my energy and ambition from reading books, podcasts, mentors and this forum.

 

[Deleted50669]

This question has been asked a lot of times here and it seems to be a worldwide problem. For entrepreneurs looking for ideas, this might be an opportunity!

There's a saying that you're the average of the five people you spend most time with, but I never really found that applying to me. I don't know anybody in my near me where I look up to, and I stopped bothering finding them either. I get my energy and ambition from reading books, podcasts, mentors and this forum.

Interesting

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[TonyStark]

Live your life, they will gravitate towards you.

 

[ygtrhos]

Live your life, they will gravitate towards you.

Very helpful, thank you very much. I can totally take action on that.

 

[Tanu1234]

This question has been asked a lot of times here and it seems to be a worldwide problem. For entrepreneurs looking for ideas, this might be an opportunity!

There's a saying that you're the average of the five people you spend most time with, but I never really found that applying to me. I don't know anybody in my near me where I look up to, and I stopped bothering finding them either. I get my energy and ambition from reading books, podcasts, mentors and this forum.

I have similar situation.

I am staying in very small city in India where woman generally marry and have kids at my age. Means no ambitious thoughts like me. Most of my friends get married and move away.

Here, there are no clubs or events etc. people live on pay cheque or with small business.

I on the other side outsourcing tax and accounting services globally and in this week launching new product in market on amazon.

I generally read books, watch webinar and inspirational videos. Also doing various courses to sharpen my skill.

Sometimes I feel leave the city and settle somewhere else so that I can meet people like me. Not sure but after few years.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Where do you guys find people who make really good friends?

The more active you are in getting out of the house, the more opportunities you have to find friends. And a good friend doesn't need to be "fastlane" or even "entrepreneurial" -- if they're supportive and trustworthy, you got yourself a good friend.

Live your life, they will gravitate towards you.

Ditto, live the life YOU want and you will find 'em.

 

[SethLBender]

This is a good question that you bring up about finding like minded friends. Is there a thread anywhere that shows Fastlane people in your city?

I’ve already told friends about TMF and Unscripted and if it still an option can we buy the books in bulk and sell them @MJ DeMarco or should we just encourage them to go and purchase it?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

can we buy the books in bulk and sell them @MJ DeMarco or should we just encourage them to go and purchase it?

INSIDERS can buy any book(s) for $5, minimum quantity is 8. I don't care if you sell them, but I won't allow you to sell them through a channel, like Amazon, Walmart, etc.

Is there a thread anywhere that shows Fastlane people in your city?

Visit the meetup section of the forum.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SethLBender]

Ok great, what’s the process of purchasing TMF or Unscripted in bulk?

 

[NewManRising]

This is an exact issue I have been looking for. Over the years I have lost friends until I became a loner. The good thing was all those friends were crummy - no drive, motivation, ambition, etc. I have always wanted friends that were looking to become complete badasses. People who want to get physcially and mentally healthy, wealthy, want adventure and fun. I have one close friend these days but he feels more like a drag on me. He is not very mature, not driven toward success or building a life, and so on. Big complainer too. I made a meetup group once but no one ever met. People just join and then never do anything. You can always try joining other groups. Attend some entrepreneur workshops or events. I too am like 404profound. I am introverted and tend to have a hard time opening up.

 

[Fotis]

Finding likely minded individuals is really hard.

For one, even though I know a few people who identify as entrepreneurs, they're just fluffepreneurs. They prefer talking about their ideas but not taking action. They are the same as people who say "I understand you" but have never walked a day in your shoes - they're probably good people, but they can't help you since they have surface experience.

Another idea I had was starting projects with a few guys I know. I rationalized that this would be a nice way to connect with people who "get it". Alas, it also failed. One of my mentors has said "never partner up with people who don't have the same need as you to make money". All 3 of the people I tried partnering up didn't have the same need. At least that's what I thought at the time, and I could be wrong.

This is why I liked what @Longinus and @jasoncuellar123 wrote. Start by consuming content that motivates you. Then, when you're doing great, those people will (probably) appear.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Fotis]

As a certified introvert, I find it difficult to be open with others to this day, despite having many reps. It takes a lot of self-defiance to ignore my natural tendency to avoid others. But every time you allow yourself to exist in others' lives you allow the potential for friendship, it doesn't have to be formulaic or methodical. I have one friend who I talk about business with often that I met at a Memorial Day BBQ.

I too am like 404profound. I am introverted and tend to have a hard time opening up.

Here's a suggestion:

Don't open up.

I'm also an introvert but, after learning selling, I discovered that as long as I get people talking about themselves, I do fine.

A simple "trick" that I learned from Stan Billue was to use a continuation phrase when asking a question. For example, if I ask "so what do you do?" and they answer "Oh, I'm in the health industry", I can always follow up with "Interesting, tell me more" or "please continue".

When you ask basic questions (which, most of the times, are necessary) people give default, short answers. A continuation phrase makes them open up and can get the conversation going.

 

[benpusch]

Hey everyone,

For the 8 years I have spent in Germany, there was this 2 years span where I really had an amazing flat with amazing flatmates, I had a great mastermind group.

Are you still in germany? Which city?

 

[ygtrhos]

Are you still in germany? Which city?

I’m from Frankfurt. You?

Btw, I’m quite an extrovert and I have no problems talking with people. My problem is rather to find ambitious people. It’s a problem of demographics not communication.


Tapatalk kullanarak iPhone aracılığıyla gönderildi

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SethLBender]

Growing up I was extroverted until about sophomore in high school then was I suppose more introverted for many years. I’d still approach women often though when single.

I like to have solitude or I can get drained from talking or listening to people although I believe we can focus on our strengths first as introvert or extrovert and then work on skills to improve socially. Just my two C.E.N.T.S.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Ok great, what’s the process of purchasing TMF or Unscripted in bulk?

1) Become an INSIDERS. (There's a thread there on the book deal)
2) Message the forum your address and preferred quantity of the book.
3) Get total price w/shipping then pay.

 

[Shepherd]

One general thing I do is to ask a lot of questions of those I interact with, either in my day job or my business dealings. I had a visit with a farmer last week for my day job and we talked for an hour or so. He mentioned that he had 28 rental houses. On a follow up call about other business, I told him I had been in the rental game before and was interested in getting back into it. He walked me through his thought process, the types of rentals he avoids, etc. and offered to answer any questions I had in the future. Super nice guy who was very humble. The kind of person I want in my contact list.

Point being, people love to talk about their successes with people who are interested and who don't want anything from them other than maybe to learn. I'm rarely disappointed when I get out into the world and ask questions of interesting and successful people. It doesn't mean we have to be best friends, but simply on each others' radar.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Brian Suh]

Hey everyone,

I guess this thread will address a very common problem of the fastlaners.

Garyvee always says that auditing your friends' circle is the key. I can only confirm that. For the 8 years I have spent in Germany, there was this 2 years span where I really had an amazing flat with amazing flatmates, I had a great mastermind group. They were my buddies and wingmen all the time, we used to hang out and chill and really care about each other.

I really felt cared and inspired at the same time.

Then people move on with their lives. Some marry, some move away, whatever.

The point is, I have almost noone that cares and inspires me at the same time.

To reformulate: I want friends, that have winner character. People with dreams and visions, who really invest time and money on their dreams.

The people who care about me, do not inspire me. (might be a problem of arrogance as well)

I thought where I could find people who have dreams&visions and really act on them:

- Startup pitches, entrepreneur meetups
- Lairs, seduction-related groups
- While traveling, on the way

These were the only three places I have seen people who have inspired me really.

The reason is probably because these groups are all attached to an adventure. They require people to do bold stuff and stick out.

My question to the forum is: Where do you guys find people who make really good friends?

Or where would you go to, if you wanted to find a friend?

Sure, I can meet someone like that everywhere, say, in a beauty parlor as well or fitness studio. But some places have bigger chances than others, isn't it like that?

Do your own thing and go your own way. This journey is yours and yours alone. Along that journey, you will meet other like minded people who view the world the same way and are headed in the same directions in life. When you do, you will just know by looking at each other. Just as how non needy attractive people can INSTANTLY tell other non needy attractive people, you will do the same with this journey. (or how people who lift seriously can tell others who lift seriously and give a slight head nod to eachother haha)

 

[ChrisV]

The point is, I have almost noone that cares and inspires me at the same time.

To reformulate: I want friends, that have winner character. People with dreams and visions, who really invest time and money on their dreams.

The people who care about me, do not inspire me. (might be a problem of arrogance as well)

I thought where I could find people who have dreams&visions and really act on them:

- Startup pitches, entrepreneur meetups
- Lairs, seduction-related groups
- While traveling, on the way

so make some friends on here