60 Days of 60 Minutes of Meditation - Let's Not Do Anything Together

[Pard]

Another day done.
It was cut a bit short because my phone rang,but close enough.
Not sure how to go about steering thoughts and whatnot,so I don´t.
Had a business idea today,so I just thought about that for a while.
I like the idea,but it involves an app and a website so I probably won´t do anything with it.

 

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[MTF]

Interesting interview with Sam Harris on meditation:

One of the World’s Most Famous Neuroscientists Wants You to Embrace Meditation and Spirituality

Neuroscientist, philosopher, and bestselling author Sam Harris is famous for many reasons, among them his vocal criticism of religion, his scientific approach to moral questions, and his willingness to tackle controversial topics on his popular podcast.

leapsmag.com

This part explains meditation very well:

You've mentioned in one of your lessons that the more you train in mindful meditation, the more freedom you will have. What do you mean?

Sam: Well, until you have some capacity to be mindful, you have no choice but to be lost in every next thought that arises. You can't notice thought as thought, it just feels like you. So therefore, you're hostage to whatever the emotional or behavioral consequences of those thoughts are. If they're angry thoughts, you're angry. If they're desire thoughts, you're filled with desire. There is very little understanding in Western psychology around an alternative to that. And it's only by importing mindfulness into our thinking that we have begun to dimly see an alternative.

 

[ZCP]

60 minutes done. was a mish mash of garbled thoughts while trying to decide if i wanted to go back to sleep.
blah. not been my most motivated last few days. just going through the motions.

 

[MTF]

60 minutes done. was a mish mash of garbled thoughts while trying to decide if i wanted to go back to sleep.
blah. not been my most motivated last few days. just going through the motions.

Still did it! That's great. And you were aware of your thoughts, which is exactly the point.

 

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[SteveO]

Interesting interview with Sam Harris on meditation:

One of the World’s Most Famous Neuroscientists Wants You to Embrace Meditation and Spirituality

Neuroscientist, philosopher, and bestselling author Sam Harris is famous for many reasons, among them his vocal criticism of religion, his scientific approach to moral questions, and his willingness to tackle controversial topics on his popular podcast.

leapsmag.com

This part explains meditation very well:

You've mentioned in one of your lessons that the more you train in mindful meditation, the more freedom you will have. What do you mean?

Sam: Well, until you have some capacity to be mindful, you have no choice but to be lost in every next thought that arises. You can't notice thought as thought, it just feels like you. So therefore, you're hostage to whatever the emotional or behavioral consequences of those thoughts are. If they're angry thoughts, you're angry. If they're desire thoughts, you're filled with desire. There is very little understanding in Western psychology around an alternative to that. And it's only by importing mindfulness into our thinking that we have begun to dimly see an alternative.

It also gives you the ability to go beyond the brain's ability. Meditation allows us to connect strongly to our inner selves.

We speak to ourselves constantly but in a language that we don't understand. In fact, we can't even conceptualize this communication.

We tend to think that it is our mind we are listening to while meditating. If that is what we are paying attention to, then we are not doing it correctly.

It is our inner selves, our gut feelings, and intuition we are searching for...

 

[Matua]

Day 4

I had a stuffy noise during meditation, so I had to take a 3-4 trips back and forth to clear it out. I continued to resume my timer after the session and I was aware of my body and the distracting thoughts that arise from time to time. I saw how my mind was anxious and a crazy wonderland because of something as simple as a stuffy nose seemed like it would ruin my day, but not at all.

It was difficult, but I sat through the hour. Another day to reflect and pass on as if nothing happened.

60 minutes done. was a mish mash of garbled thoughts while trying to decide if i wanted to go back to sleep.
blah. not been my most motivated last few days. just going through the motions.

Awesome! You did it!

 

[Sheens]

Today was pretty fun!

Used a few techniques for refocusing and feeling things in the present.

Had all the tingles come back too! Then I think of the different hormone and neurotransmitter cocktails that create it... geesh... will improve turning that thinking off and just enjoy.

60 minutes done. was a mish mash of garbled thoughts while trying to decide if i wanted to go back to sleep.
blah. not been my most motivated last few days. just going through the motions.

You're extraordinary. What 3 things are you going to do for your motivation? ; )

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Wow guys Im impressed!! Really pleased to see this community effort going on and all of you supporting and motivating each other. It’s very inspiring and motivating, and we’re already gathering a ton of experience about meditation.

Unfortunately this has been a period that caught me on the wrong foot, so I haven’t joined yet, but I may start late and go a bit longer than you guys do.

 

[S.Y.]

Day 2

Well... This one was interesting.

I resisted starting. A good part of my thoughts were visual, I was seeing more than thinking. And boy towards the end, I had an urge to just get up.

Very interesting.

I am also curious about how it will feel like doing it:
- fasted (say 18h and then 36 hours)
- when my brain is at its peak (around 10-11 ish)

 

[Barracuda]

I'm starting

Do you feel overwhelmed by the incessant mind chatter? Do you struggle to focus? Do desires rule your life? Are you dealing with recurring mental issues like anxiety, feelings of guilt, shame, fear, inadequacy, stress, etc.? Do you find it impossible to just stop and relax?

As entrepreneurs, we're all about taking action. We may mask our inner issues with endless hustle. We may tell ourselves that we can't afford to take a break because our competitors will get ahead. We may use solutions that address the symptom but not the core reason. For example, we may use technology to block sites that distract us. While we won't be able to access them, our desire to check them will be back once the obstacle is gone—or we'll find another, perhaps even worse outlet to meet the underlying need.

As entrepreneurs, we often ignore our mental health. We may even tell ourselves that our mental struggles are, in a twisted way, good for us.

Stress? That's a normal part of life, isn't it?

Anxiety? It's good for me as it keeps me alert.

Incessant mind chatter? This means I have a ton of ideas.

Deep down, we may know that there's something wrong if...

...we can't sit down with our friends and family and just enjoy being with them because we're constantly thinking of our business...

...we regularly feel anxious for an unknown reason...

...we can't focus on a single thing for more than a few minutes...

...we're stuck in an endless cycle of trying one thing, only to try another to then give it up and try yet another, never going anywhere...

...we have no clarity when making decisions...

...we're wasting time arguing over politics or anything else that is beyond our control.

And yet, despite all these worrying signs, we keep ignoring our mental health.

The last year has been very difficult for me. Grief, anxiety, stress, fear, rumination, inability to focus for more than a few minutes, judgment, and lack of acceptance have been ruling my life. I'm slowly going crazy, losing control over my mind.

I started seeking solutions to get myself out of this disquieting state. Which brings me to the topic of meditation.

I'll use the words of Naval Ravikant, a very successful entrepreneur, investor, and a brilliant philosopher, to explain the why and how:



source: Jorgenson, Eric. The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness.

If you prefer it in audio, here it is:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2kgZ1Puye8&feature=youtu.be


Naval Ravikant recommends the following practice:



I decided to follow his suggestion. And then I thought: why not get some support and do it (or rather, "not do") with fellow Fastlaners.

The rules are simple:

1. You meditate one hour a day for 60 days, ideally in the morning. You sit down and do nothing (don't use any apps or guided meditation). Naval's suggested method is:

If thoughts come, thoughts come. I’m not going to fight them. I’m not going to embrace them. I’m not going to think harder about them. I’m not going to reject them. I’m just going to sit here for an hour with my eyes closed, and I’m going to do nothing.

No focus, no mantra, no dharma, no chakras, no Buddhas, no gurus, no gratitude, no scripture, no temple, no music, no gadgets, no apps.

2. You meditate every day. If you skip a day, you go back to day 1. We want to prioritize our mental health, build momentum and turn it into a daily practice. This is akin to a workout for your mind. It won't work well if you start and stop.

3. It needs to be at least an hour (use a timer). You can't do two 30-minute sessions or four 15-minute sessions. Once you start, you keep sitting until 60 minutes pass.

To give everyone a few days to prepare, we can start on Monday, December 1

Do you feel overwhelmed by the incessant mind chatter? Do you struggle to focus? Do desires rule your life? Are you dealing with recurring mental issues like anxiety, feelings of guilt, shame, fear, inadequacy, stress, etc.? Do you find it impossible to just stop and relax?

As entrepreneurs, we're all about taking action. We may mask our inner issues with endless hustle. We may tell ourselves that we can't afford to take a break because our competitors will get ahead. We may use solutions that address the symptom but not the core reason. For example, we may use technology to block sites that distract us. While we won't be able to access them, our desire to check them will be back once the obstacle is gone—or we'll find another, perhaps even worse outlet to meet the underlying need.

As entrepreneurs, we often ignore our mental health. We may even tell ourselves that our mental struggles are, in a twisted way, good for us.

Stress? That's a normal part of life, isn't it?

Anxiety? It's good for me as it keeps me alert.

Incessant mind chatter? This means I have a ton of ideas.

Deep down, we may know that there's something wrong if...

...we can't sit down with our friends and family and just enjoy being with them because we're constantly thinking of our business...

...we regularly feel anxious for an unknown reason...

...we can't focus on a single thing for more than a few minutes...

...we're stuck in an endless cycle of trying one thing, only to try another to then give it up and try yet another, never going anywhere...

...we have no clarity when making decisions...

...we're wasting time arguing over politics or anything else that is beyond our control.

And yet, despite all these worrying signs, we keep ignoring our mental health.

The last year has been very difficult for me. Grief, anxiety, stress, fear, rumination, inability to focus for more than a few minutes, judgment, and lack of acceptance have been ruling my life. I'm slowly going crazy, losing control over my mind.

I started seeking solutions to get myself out of this disquieting state. Which brings me to the topic of meditation.

I'll use the words of Naval Ravikant, a very successful entrepreneur, investor, and a brilliant philosopher, to explain the why and how:



source: Jorgenson, Eric. The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness.

If you prefer it in audio, here it is:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2kgZ1Puye8&feature=youtu.be


Naval Ravikant recommends the following practice:



I decided to follow his suggestion. And then I thought: why not get some support and do it (or rather, "not do") with fellow Fastlaners.

The rules are simple:

1. You meditate one hour a day for 60 days, ideally in the morning. You sit down and do nothing (don't use any apps or guided meditation). Naval's suggested method is:

If thoughts come, thoughts come. I’m not going to fight them. I’m not going to embrace them. I’m not going to think harder about them. I’m not going to reject them. I’m just going to sit here for an hour with my eyes closed, and I’m going to do nothing.

No focus, no mantra, no dharma, no chakras, no Buddhas, no gurus, no gratitude, no scripture, no temple, no music, no gadgets, no apps.

2. You meditate every day. If you skip a day, you go back to day 1. We want to prioritize our mental health, build momentum and turn it into a daily practice. This is akin to a workout for your mind. It won't work well if you start and stop.

3. It needs to be at least an hour (use a timer). You can't do two 30-minute sessions or four 15-minute sessions. Once you start, you keep sitting until 60 minutes pass.

To give everyone a few days to prepare, we can start on Monday, December 14. Who's in?

I'm starting today. I hope i have the integrity and strength to finish. Fingers crossed

 

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[MTF]

Day 5 completed.

Had to wake up at 4 to meditate before a 12-hour drive so my mind was slightly less active than usual lol.

 

[Olimac21]

Day 10 completed

All good, just a bit anxious at the end. I spent the majority of the time thinking about a decision I have to make to it was super useful.

 

[Pard]

Day four done.

 

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[Ma.Gico]

Day 5 completed.

Did it after work. I found it easyer focusing then in the morning as my mind in the morning is like a tornado.

Tommorow i fly back home for hollydays. I will need there of more discipline and organisation as the house will be full of people... lets see how it turns out.

 

[Sheens]

Day 5 - changed it up and completed

I tried the wake up and set the timer while staying in bed.

Not a disaster, just not for me. Stayed awake and definitely convenient! The experience didn't feel the same. With time, will probably flow right into a similar meditative hour no matter the location, time, or distractions. I'm not there yet : )

The burst of cold air getting out of bed and moving around to a different room helps to frame the hour for me. I get into the experience faster and feel a deeper level.

 

[Matua]

Day 5

Oh boy, I learned something about myself from meditating today. Whenever I get around or less than 6.5 hours of sleep, my mind goes crazy active. This is something that I've known for some time, but to actually be aware of my mind in this phase is a different story.

I like to think I can just flip an internal switch to let go of my thoughts and focusing on the present, but it became difficult today because of thought after thought after thought, and visual thought/imagery as well!

It's as if my mind was telling me it wasn't happy about the lack of sleep and it made a big fuss about it LOL.

Wow guys Im impressed!! Really pleased to see this community effort going on and all of you supporting and motivating each other. It’s very inspiring and motivating, and we’re already gathering a ton of experience about meditation.

Unfortunately this has been a period that caught me on the wrong foot, so I haven’t joined yet, but I may start late and go a bit longer than you guys do.

Awesome! We'll be waiting

Tommorow i fly back home for hollydays. I will need there of more discipline and organisation as the house will be full of people... lets see how it turns out.

I wish you a safe flight back home! It won't be easy to meditate in a place crowded by other people, but you can definitely make it work!

I'll also be with people, my family, during the holidays. So I'll have to get up early in the morning, or seclude myself in an isolated room, or even outside on the balcony and meditate in the cold weather-- which will be an interesting experience!

 

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[Ma.Gico]

Day 5

Oh boy, I learned something about myself from meditating today. Whenever I get around or less than 6.5 hours of sleep, my mind goes crazy active. This is something that I've known for some time, but to actually be aware of my mind in this phase is a different story.

I like to think I can just flip an internal switch to let go of my thoughts and focusing on the present, but it became difficult today because of thought after thought after thought, and visual thought/imagery as well!

It's as if my mind was telling me it wasn't happy about the lack of sleep and it made a big fuss about it LOL.


Awesome! We'll be waiting


I wish you a safe flight back home! It won't be easy to meditate in a place crowded by other people, but you can definitely make it work!

I'll also be with people, my family, during the holidays. So I'll have to get up early in the morning, or seclude myself in an isolated room, or even outside on the balcony and meditate in the cold weather-- which will be an interesting experience!

Yes, i was thinking the same. Just waking up an hour earlyer then everybody else.

 

[Barracuda]

It's 4:00 where i am, and i just finished Day 1.

 

[ZCP]

had 90 minute massage today, so a shoe in for 60 minute meditation, right?
nope.

[this is why i don't meditate]

.....relaxing, chilling, nice. mind wandering. fading in and out of star wars stuff and work today. back and forth. mish mash of gaffs in middle school ... wait, she's spending a really long time on my a$$. getting really close, yep, that was definitely a graze. time for a sexy massage? who do i know i would have sex with? .... this degenerated into a lot of yes / no's that went in all directions. then to fastlane forum members .... 'no, not @MTF . probably not @Sheens . @Ravens_Shadow ? too skinny . .... anyone i would from the forum? wait stop .... no, that was more than a graze. that was a jostle. .... how do we get more customers? i should buy a go cart. ... back and forth between star wars and how to make healthy dipping dots? ..... martin said this would help. ..... cat sweaters. i should focus more. or should i focus less. .... how long does it take to rub an a$$? ....... should i post this rambling mess of thoughts for a laugh. why not. .....

am i doing this right?

everyone have a good weekend. i'll try to actually focus tomorrow

 

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[Vikash Patel]

Do you feel overwhelmed by the incessant mind chatter? Do you struggle to focus? Do desires rule your life? Are you dealing with recurring mental issues like anxiety, feelings of guilt, shame, fear, inadequacy, stress, etc.? Do you find it impossible to just stop and relax?

As entrepreneurs, we're all about taking action. We may mask our inner issues with endless hustle. We may tell ourselves that we can't afford to take a break because our competitors will get ahead. We may use solutions that address the symptom but not the core reason. For example, we may use technology to block sites that distract us. While we won't be able to access them, our desire to check them will be back once the obstacle is gone—or we'll find another, perhaps even worse outlet to meet the underlying need.

As entrepreneurs, we often ignore our mental health. We may even tell ourselves that our mental struggles are, in a twisted way, good for us.

Stress? That's a normal part of life, isn't it?

Anxiety? It's good for me as it keeps me alert.

Incessant mind chatter? This means I have a ton of ideas.

Deep down, we may know that there's something wrong if...

...we can't sit down with our friends and family and just enjoy being with them because we're constantly thinking of our business...

...we regularly feel anxious for an unknown reason...

...we can't focus on a single thing for more than a few minutes...

...we're stuck in an endless cycle of trying one thing, only to try another to then give it up and try yet another, never going anywhere...

...we have no clarity when making decisions...

...we're wasting time arguing over politics or anything else that is beyond our control.

And yet, despite all these worrying signs, we keep ignoring our mental health.

The last year has been very difficult for me. Grief, anxiety, stress, fear, rumination, inability to focus for more than a few minutes, judgment, and lack of acceptance have been ruling my life. I'm slowly going crazy, losing control over my mind.

I started seeking solutions to get myself out of this disquieting state. Which brings me to the topic of meditation.

I'll use the words of Naval Ravikant, a very successful entrepreneur, investor, and a brilliant philosopher, to explain the why and how:



source: Jorgenson, Eric. The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness.

If you prefer it in audio, here it is:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2kgZ1Puye8&feature=youtu.be


Naval Ravikant recommends the following practice:



I decided to follow his suggestion. And then I thought: why not get some support and do it (or rather, "not do") with fellow Fastlaners.

The rules are simple:

1. You meditate one hour a day for 60 days, ideally in the morning. You sit down and do nothing (don't use any apps or guided meditation). Naval's suggested method is:

If thoughts come, thoughts come. I’m not going to fight them. I’m not going to embrace them. I’m not going to think harder about them. I’m not going to reject them. I’m just going to sit here for an hour with my eyes closed, and I’m going to do nothing.

No focus, no mantra, no dharma, no chakras, no Buddhas, no gurus, no gratitude, no scripture, no temple, no music, no gadgets, no apps.

2. You meditate every day. If you skip a day, you go back to day 1. We want to prioritize our mental health, build momentum and turn it into a daily practice. This is akin to a workout for your mind. It won't work well if you start and stop.

3. It needs to be at least an hour (use a timer). You can't do two 30-minute sessions or four 15-minute sessions. Once you start, you keep sitting until 60 minutes pass.

To give everyone a few days to prepare, we can start on Monday, December 14. Who's in?

42 minutes,
Interrupted by a phone call.
But it was really great.

 

[MTF]

Day 6 completed.

Another bad session. By the end I begged for it to end and was almost sure my phone wasn't working properly.

I'm back in my hometown in an apartment. It's much harder to go deep when you hear neighbors and all the sounds around. I was traveling since October and spending time in countryside homes where this would have been much easier.

I feel like a prisoner in my head. I can't stop the thoughts from coming. I struggle not to follow them. The best I can do is perhaps 5-10 seconds of non-thinking. Then there's another thought. Sometimes I stop following them quickly. I refocus on my breath, usually for a brief second only for another thought to bother me. Sometimes I fall into a longer cycle of thinking and catch myself after probably 30-60 seconds.

I keep planning, pondering ideas, and doing anything but being in the present moment. It's largely the same in whatever activity I perform at a given moment except for some activities I love the most which I can't do back where I now am (which further makes me frustrated).

Anyway, I guess that's what meditation for beginners is. An extremely frustrating experience with perhaps brief moments of "a-ha" followed by another round of thought vomit.

had 90 minute massage today, so a shoe in for 60 minute meditation, right?
nope.

[this is why i don't meditate]

.....relaxing, chilling, nice. mind wandering. fading in and out of star wars stuff and work today. back and forth. mish mash of gaffs in middle school ... wait, she's spending a really long time on my a$$. getting really close, yep, that was definitely a graze. time for a sexy massage? who do i know i would have sex with? .... this degenerated into a lot of yes / no's that went in all directions. then to fastlane forum members .... 'no, not @MTF . probably not @Sheens . @Ravens_Shadow ? too skinny . .... anyone i would from the forum? wait stop .... no, that was more than a graze. that was a jostle. .... how do we get more customers? i should buy a go cart. ... back and forth between star wars and how to make healthy dipping dots? ..... martin said this would help. ..... cat sweaters. i should focus more. or should i focus less. .... how long does it take to rub an a$$? ....... should i post this rambling mess of thoughts for a laugh. why not. .....

am i doing this right?

everyone have a good weekend. i'll try to actually focus tomorrow

This is why you should keep trying. Do you even experience the massage (or any other thing in your life for that matter) if you think of anything but it? (contemplating the a$$ graze/no graze doesn't count)

I'm not saying it because I know how to do that. I'm saying it because I'm also like that, as evidenced above. We go through life with half-focus at best, almost always lost in thoughts about something else that what we're currently doing. It's insane.

 

[Olimac21]

Day 11 here.

I felt a bit impatient, mostly because I didnt sleep that well. Also I feel after a few days (or maybe because of christmas time lol) I am craving more genuine connection with other people.

 

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[Olimac21]

Day 6 completed.

Another bad session. By the end I begged for it to end and was almost sure my phone wasn't working properly.

I'm back in my hometown in an apartment. It's much harder to go deep when you hear neighbors and all the sounds around. I was traveling since October and spending time in countryside homes where this would have been much easier.

I feel like a prisoner in my head. I can't stop the thoughts from coming. I struggle not to follow them. The best I can do is perhaps 5-10 seconds of non-thinking. Then there's another thought. Sometimes I stop following them quickly. I refocus on my breath, usually for a brief second only for another thought to bother me. Sometimes I fall into a longer cycle of thinking and catch myself after probably 30-60 seconds.

I keep planning, pondering ideas, and doing anything but being in the present moment. It's largely the same in whatever activity I perform at a given moment except for some activities I love the most which I can't do back where I now am (which further makes me frustrated).

Anyway, I guess that's what meditation for beginners is. An extremely frustrating experience with perhaps brief moments of "a-ha" followed by another round of thought vomit.



This is why you should keep trying. Do you even experience the massage (or any other thing in your life for that matter) if you think of anything but it? (contemplating the a$$ graze/no graze doesn't count)

I'm not saying it because I know how to do that. I'm saying it because I'm also like that, as evidenced above. We go through life with half-focus at best, almost always lost in thoughts about something else that what we're currently doing. It's insane.

I think what you are experincing is totally normal, thats why beginners start with things like guided meditation or body scan. I was talking with a friend who doesnt meditate and he told me " I will start meditating 15 minutes everyday" and I thought he was crazy because in my case I started with just 3-5 minutes a day for like 1 year and a half before it became second nature.

Perhaps after the 60 days you can try a more "baby steps" approach towards it. Also I am curious if you are reading or have read books related to meditation or mindfulness in general?

 

[MTF]

I think what you are experincing is totally normal, thats why beginners start with things like guided meditation or body scan. I was talking with a friend who doesnt meditate and he told me " I will start meditating 15 minutes everyday" and I thought he was crazy because in my case I started with just 3-5 minutes a day for like 1 year and a half before it became second nature.

Perhaps after the 60 days you can try a more "baby steps" approach towards it. Also I am curious if you are reading or have read books related to meditation or mindfulness in general?

It wouldn't work for me for 3-5 minutes. I prefer to sit for 60 minutes and get maybe 1-2 minutes of focus (and the rest is still IMO good practice) than sit 3-5 minutes and have no focus whatsoever because it's too little time to calm yourself down.

I've read books on mindfulness. I also had some good long sessions in a float tank. I'd go if they were open and if there was one anywhere nearby as I find it 1000x easier to meditate there and go extremely deep.

 

[XxThelionxX]

Day 1 done

I NEEED this!
My mind has been so stressed out. It needs the rest. And this will be the break I could use.

Going to reward myself at day ten. And each consecutive milestone. Something small but a celebration none the less. Possibly a new seat cover for my truck!

Im really excited for this! I have plenty of meditations!!!!

 

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[Sheens]

We go through life with half-focus at best, almost always lost in thoughts about something else that what we're currently doing. It's insane.

This! So well said @MTF!

Any small increase in the time we spend living the moment is worth much more than the frustrating practice.

I believe time blocked out for contemplation on an issue, novel solution, relationship and system improvements and so on are arguably the most important business tasks of a day.

The type of meditation we are practicing here is what gets those thinking strategies to go about the opposite of Z's 'mindful' massage. : )

Being able to let thoughts go before being lost in them is the training. Mentally put it on a shelf for later if it isn't a cure for my most pressing problem (in which case I would follow that thought through, write notes, and continue with a meditation afterwards).

Not being distracted is a behavior. As we go along here, it will become a switch we can flip no matter the circumstances.

Day 6 completed and frustrating day here as well. Makes me want to go again and do better.

 

[Ma.Gico]

Day 6 completed.

Did it during the flight and i liked it. Focusing on noises without judging and getting stressed is also mindfulness

 

[ZCP]

@MTF so you are saying i should have focused intently on / in the massage and be really centered on the connection? that is what i normally do during a massage.

i heard from this thread (probably incorrectly) to 'let the thoughts come and go' as they please. knowing the deviousness of my own mind was my resistance to doing so.

@MTF @Sheens redirect me here...... so massage begins.
1. focus intently on 'nothingness'
2. focus intently on the massage
3. anti focus and let the lord of flies take hold
4. something else entirely

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

@MTF so you are saying i should have focused intently on / in the massage and be really centered on the connection? that is what i normally do during a massage.

i heard from this thread (probably incorrectly) to 'let the thoughts come and go' as they please. knowing the deviousness of my own mind was my resistance to doing so.

@MTF @Sheens redirect me here...... so massage begins.
1. focus intently on 'nothingness'
2. focus intently on the massage
3. anti focus and let the lord of flies take hold
4. something else entirely

Sorry for interrupting here, this is just my advice if you find it helpful in any way: I think the idea is to be aware of your thoughts, but in such a way that you are detached from them.

So suppose the thought comes "this massage is feeling amazing, I'm loving it". You accept it, and you watch it, but you don't give it more energy by building on it -> "when the hand touches there it's really the best, I wonder what..." Instead you let it go. Let it pass through you, without clinging onto it.

I hope that makes a bit more sense. So the idea is to be openly aware of your mind, without interfering. So I don't think "focus" is the right word, because "focus" to me suggests you're trying to take control of your mind. So if you "focus" on the massage, that suggests to me you will try to not allow any thoughts into your mind that don't have to do with the massage, and I don't think that's the goal of meditation.

At the same time, "anti-focus" isn't it either, because you don't want to be day-dreaming or falling asleep, ie becoming unconscious or unaware. You need to be intensely aware of the passing and going of thoughts, without following them, without giving more energy to them. Think of the way you'd observe a game of tennis if you're really into it. You'd be absorbed watching the movement of the ball from one person to another, but you wouldn't be interfering with it. You just watch. The idea is to do the same only that turned inwards. Instead of watching something outside of you, you watch your mind inside of you.

At the beginning, it may also be helpful to you to watch the breath at the nostrils, coming and going. That acts like an anchor... a thought comes, you notice it, and then you let it go, because you're watching the breath. When you do that, you'll start noticing that actually many times the thought comes, and you start going with it, building on it, thinking without even realising that you're thinking. Suddenly you "wake up" and are like "Wait a min, I need to watch the breath!" - so you just go back to it. It trains you to keep your attention anchored, without having it drawn by this or that inner event.

 

[Sheens]

@MTF @Sheens redirect me here...... so massage begins.

I'd say 2. Focus intently on the massage. (even if focus is a debatable word there)

When I sit to 'do nothing', it's to be in the present, not actively giving attention to prior or future happenings. Those thoughts pop up on their own. I try not to let it go further. So let's say I'm in a moment of mind quiet and a thought comes up on which workout is planned for the day. That's where I try to leave the thought. I don't think of the time, shower, .. or anything more than just let the thought go away.

If I meditate for another reason, it might be to focus on something. Say a business solution, I don't want to think of much else other than that situation. My focus may not exactly be on my breath or current sounds, it will be on observing the solution with inputs/outputs .. but I want my attention to stay on the subject and not splinter off into the abyss.

There are things we do that take zero effort to be immersed in... like some love time with a SO. Those are the times where (hopefully) it would take effort to lose your attention. That's a power of being in the moment.