Scared to start alone!!

sandeep · Jan 1, 2013

Hi All,

I am scared to start out an adventure.. I am thinking about starting a Ebay or Amazon store, also not knowing what I will be selling. Currently out of work. I had one partner/friend but backed out at the last minute.. so I am afraid to start it alone. I am scared of things like competition, not enough experience, lawsuits, etc..

Any advice would help me or to motivate me.. has anyone started alone without any experience or partner? (Are partners worthed)

. I am sick and tired of doing 6 to 8 months projects as IT consultant. and, hoping to land on fastlane with determination.

Vick · Jan 1, 2013

I started alone. And knew nothing about running a business. It was alittle scary for me as well.

I find that starting your own 'adventure' is like starting a puzzle. Just start with one piece at a time. And before you know it, you have a few more pieces in place. Then all the pieces seem to come together easier and easier. Until its completed.

Find out what your good at. And start there.

Personally I like working alone. That way I have total control over everything.

Good luck! Let me know if you need any advice to get started. But first, find an idea and make sure there is a need for it. Think like your customer

andviv · Jan 2, 2013

As we have no real information about you (welcome to the forum, by the way), I can only guess about your situation, so let me be blunt while venturing a guess about what is going on here:

sandeep said:
I am scared of things like competition, not enough experience, lawsuits, etc..

I am calling bullshit on this.

You are not scared of competitors. Or not having experience.

You are afraid to fail.

Lemme guess... A+ student all your life, one or two master degrees, high paying salaries all your life?

Hate to make a mistake?

Spent weekends depressed cause you got a C in some college test? (that is, if ever got something less than a B in your life)

Rose quickly in your IT career cause you were brilliant and always had the right solution to a problem?

People constantly praise how smart you are?

Does this sound familiar?

If that is not you then sorry for misjudging you and please share more info.

If these things do sound familiar (and trust me, I know why I say this) then you don't need motivation, you need to just go for it and learn how to use failure and mistakes as a learning tool.

If what I am saying here resonates with you, here is your homework (and I doubt you will do this anyway, but here it goes):

* Take something at home you don't use anymore
* List it on ebay for sell
--Yes, you will lose money.
--Yes, you will make rookie mistakes.
--Yes, you will fail this time.
And, most importantly, you will learn. Not from a book. Not from a professor. From life. By experimenting and failing.

Now, go take another item and sell it. Work on improving based on what you did the first time. Rinse and repeat.

After a month or two you will gain an understanding of what is going on. Of your market. Of eBay competitors. And you will gain experience.

sandeep said:
hoping to land on fastlane with determination.

Sorry my friend, you simply can't mix 'hope' and 'determination' like this. You are either hopeful or determined. No?

DennisD · Jan 2, 2013

Don't be scared to start alone. Be scared to start with a partner.

Any time I've ever tried to start something it's been with a partner. Every time it's been unsuccessful because the other person backed out, flaked, etc.

Starting by yourself helps you learn quicker. You're not slowed down by the other person, and you have nobody to 'blame'

Twiki · Jan 2, 2013

sandeep said:
has anyone started alone without any experience or partner?

No, everyone who has started something new, without any experience, has already done it before, had plenty of experience, and started alone with a partner. Does this answer your question? It shouldn't, because the question doesn't really make sense.

sandeep said:
Any advice would help me or to motivate me..

No, advice will not help you or motivate you. There is no advice in the world which will make the fear go away. If you think there is, or that it's even necessary, then you should probably stick to your day job and deal with it.

Some people can start things without fear, that's just the way that they're wired. But I think most normal healthy people will be scared. You realize that everyone who starts something, by definition, has no experience yet, right? Therefore, they should be uncertain and fearful, if they are actually committed to doing something that is difficult enough to make it worthwhile.

You do not need to make the fear go away before starting. Waiting for some advice or motivation is just an excuse. If you cannot tolerate that concept, then I think you aren't going to be able to handle working for yourself. You may think you're sick and tired doing projects as an IT consultant now, but are you ready to spend the rest of your life scared and worried about customers, competition, changing markets, etc? If not, don't bother.

InLikeFlint · Jan 2, 2013

"If you want something done right, do it yourself" - Charles-Guillaume Ã‰tienne

I experience the same issue, but not exactly. I have multiple "projects" in my portfolio, each one is handled separately, some of them are solo jobs, others I have brought in one of my close friends on.

The MAIN thing I have learned from this is...you can't trust anyone when it comes to your business, especially not your best friend, it will ruin the friendship and possibly the business. My friend knows a lot about business, he is motivated to make money, and he can handle "assignments". The problem is I can't ever decide what to delegate to him, my thoughts normally go something like this "Okay I can have him call client A,B,C,D,E and record the results....wait...what if he gives too much information? What if he doesn't right down the info correctly? I'll just have to re-record all the data in my own spreadsheets anyways...wouldn't it be easier to just do it on my own?

It's more of a personal thing, I seek control over my companies. Primarily out of the student body at the school, I couldn't pick anyone else to run my jobs and juggle school work for me..even the kid who just got accepted to Harvard, I strongly believe that I am the best candidate for my life, no matter how cheesy and cliche it seems.

Just a few questions for the OP and whomever else:

I'm assuming all of you know Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, right? Without using any source besides your brain...could you tell me each of their associates in Windows and Apple separately? Personally, I can't. I know they had partners...but where are they now? Why aren't they getting the same recognition and praise as their partners? I'm sure somewhere there is a story about how a fight broke up the business, and now one still makes money but is no longer the face of the company. They missed out. Who says that won't be you? Maybe you fight with your partner, take 10% of the company and leave, what if that company becomes the next big car company, the next Instagram, the next google? You were screwed, and it's because of the partnership.

I think that with the right person a business can work, but it's hard to find the right person because they may seem great at first and then not work out, or they may seem terrible at first and turns out they would've been an amazing associate.

In my personal experience, I have added partners to my projects for similar reasons. I was worried that I would get overwhelmed, I wanted someone to motivate me if I lost determination, I wanted someone to travel with, to consult ideas with, to bounce ideas off of. But when I have gotten past the point of turning back, I really wish I was alone.

If you are scared to start on your own, think of a few things that may motivate you to continue on your own and not cut someone else in:

- More money! No splitting 50/50 you get 100% of what you make!

- No fighting, every decision is your choice, and your choice only.

- WHEN (notice I say when and not if) you become successful and famous, your recognition will be for growing a business into an empire SINGLE HANDEDLY, you are the sole mastermind behind your success, and you will be congratulated that way.

- All of the work will be yours. Everything that is done for the business is done by you, you can vouch for the quality of the work, because you did it.

sandeep · Jan 2, 2013

First of all, I wanted to thank you andviv for taking time to write on this.. I think that 70% of what have said is correct...

andviv said:
I am calling bullshit on this.

You are not scared of competitors. Or not having experience.

You are afraid to fail.

I just realized that I am afraid to fail..Some reasons might be that my wife and father is not supportive of this idea.. They think that I stupid to leave my good paying job and start something which will bring no consistent income... I am 31 and currently out of project and leaving under my dad's roof.. Ashamed of myself, for not standing on my own feet.:nonod:

andviv said:
Lemme guess... A+ student all your life, one or two master degrees, high paying salaries all your life?

Hate to make a mistake?

Spent weekends depressed cause you got a C in some college test? (that is, if ever got something less than a B in your life)

You are right on this also, Mostly I have been hard working student with high GPA throughout my school. I worried when I didn't do well on those stupid tests in school...

andviv said:
Sorry my friend, you simply can't mix 'hope' and 'determination' like this. You are either hopeful or determined.

I am determined.....Need blessing from you all!!!

andviv · Jan 2, 2013

sandeep said:
my wife and father is not supportive of this idea.. They think that I stupid to leave my good paying job and start something which will bring no consistent income...

This lack of support is very common. And understandable.

sandeep said:
I am 31 and currently out of project and leaving under my dad's roof.. Ashamed of myself, for not standing on my own feet.

Understandable as well.

You do need a job right now. You need some quick income so you can move out and gain that feeling of independence. Focus on getting a job to make ends meet.

sandeep said:
I am determined.....Need blessing from you all!!!

You don't have our blessing. Why? Because you don't need it.

Go out there and get it done.

In my post I gave you an assignment. It sounds simple. Do it anyway. I guarantee you will experience pain and you will fail, but that is a great step to take. You have nothing to lose by doing it.

**************

You are an IT consultant. What do you, specifically, do? Where are you located?

The-J · Jan 2, 2013

I've started and failed.

It's not that bad. It makes the next try easier.

nico · Jan 2, 2013

sandeep said:
I am scared to start out an adventure..

It wouldn't be an adventure if you weren't now would it

I am scared of things like competition, not enough experience, lawsuits, etc..

All fear is fear of the unknown. So spend the effort getting some clarity. STUDY the competition. Check out the market. Get books, programs, audiobooks on business, marketing, and so on. Whatever you need to know has already been figured out a thousand times before you, so use it to your advantage.

Any advice would help me or to motivate me..

Fail early, fail often. It really doesn't matter if you start without a partner, you can always redo that decision later. It's easier to find a partner once you're up and running, than to dump one who owns half your company.

sandeep · Jan 15, 2013

I am still not able to take any action.. I dont know if I am afraid of failing or just thinking how will I compete against big boys... Do anyone know get over this feeling? Has anyone felt the same when first started out?

uke:

Vigilante · Jan 15, 2013

Two weeks later and you are still sitting on your a$$.

Guess what? You might still be on your parents house two years from now.

Stop posting. You're not doing anything. Posting here is not taking action.

You said you are out of work, and then you said you are being criticized for quitting a job. Did you quit and not have other income? What's your real story?

Either go find a job, or go sell your Dad's lawnmower on eBay to see how it works. You don't need anyone's blessing (well, you might need your Dads to sell his lawn mower... depending on if he would notice quickly or not.) You are not going to find anyone here to hold your hand. You're a big boy, with a wife. Decide. Stop being a moocher.

Know what's NOT going to generate money? Sitting here posting about how afraid you are.

Some people aren't cut out for this. You might be one of them. You might be better with a job.

Sitting on your a$$ doing nothing is the worst path you could choose. Congrats... you're at the bottom.

Get off your a$$, forget looking for the pity party because nobody here can do anything for you unless you do something for yourself.

Make a mistake. Live life. There's more to life than eating out of your Dad's refrigerator and watching TV with your Mom.

Seriously. Get off your a$$. Spend the next 48 hours straight studying ways you might make some money, and then come back here and post what ever QUESTIONS you might have (questions that someone might be able to answer... not "can you please hold me because I am afraid...") and people can help you help yourself.

Go. Go do something. Stop crying. Start taking action.

Bearcorp · Jan 15, 2013

Hi Sandeep,
you were given some great starting advice from andviv at the start of the thread, have you tried selling any house hold stuff on ebay to get a feel for how it all works yet? The sooner you list it and start the sooner you'll break down the fear barrier of the unknown, good luck and get cracking

sandeep · Jan 15, 2013

Thank you Bearcorp.. Yes, I have listed some of my old cell phones on Local craiglist for the last two weeks. I am looking around the house now for some other crap to list it on eBay.. But haven't got any offers yet for my cell phones.. and maybe that's why I am getting discouraged to try out anything new. I am just thinking how I will compete with other sellers on eBay, Craiglist, etc... I am trying to break through that fear.. but its taking me longer than usual.. May be its my conditioning from the family. My grandfather was a great Business man but after he passed away, family business was sold and my father and other family member were stuck in 9 to 5 rat race. I am now trying to follow my Grandfathers footsteps!

nico · Jan 16, 2013

What's the worst thing that will happen if you fail? That's not a rhetorical question. Seriously, what's the absolute worst possible outcome?

MMatt · Jan 16, 2013

sandeep said:
Thank you Bearcorp.. Yes, I have listed some of my old cell phones on Local craiglist for the last two weeks. I am looking around the house now for some other crap to list it on eBay.. But haven't got any offers yet for my cell phones.. and maybe that's why I am getting discouraged to try out anything new. I am just thinking how I will compete with other sellers on eBay, Craiglist, etc... I am trying to break through that fear.. but its taking me longer than usual.. May be its my conditioning from the family. My grandfather was a great Business man but after he passed away, family business was sold and my father and other family member were stuck in 9 to 5 rat race. I am now trying to follow my Grandfathers footsteps!

As for ebay, usually for used items, you will sell items for a higher price if you start your auctions at $.01 rather than setting a high start price or buy it now. This gains interest from all buyers and sometimes will spark a bidding war and you will get more than you thought. You can also compete with your own well taken pictures rather than generic oem pictures. You can take pretty good pictures with a point and shoot camera, some white paper or poster board and a couple of fluorescent lights. Then make the most detailed accurate description you can. Offering free shipping will also boost your listings visability and rank it higher in the search results.

million$$$smile · Jan 16, 2013

You know, I just can't believe your that scared.
Get Real. Get Tough. Reach inside and grab a little more.
I am just not sure your not just some loser getting your kicks on posting on forums.
If I'm wrong, I'd be surprised. I mean, how did you ever go alone to your first day in school???
Tell you what, why not just take some $7.00 an hour job working in some warehouse shipping out orders for an outfit and maybe you'll get a drift on what you might be able to do on your own one day when you get a pair and act like it.
I'd hire you but I'm afraid you'd just stand in the corner watching the world go by...
Sorry, but I just don't believe this guy...
Too many excuses

Vigilante · Jan 16, 2013

"
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to million$$$smile again."

100k · Jan 16, 2013

You can outsource the keyword research/niche picking, SEO, design... etc.

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RBefort · Jan 16, 2013

Don't be scared...the challenge and the shit you encounter in getting there is what makes it fun. You area already out of a job, so I think the hardest/scariest part would have been quitting the stable job to pursue another path. I am more scared about not finding an idea than starting once I actually decide on what to do. Read, read, read....ask, ask, ask....then create, analyze, fix, analyze=eventually $$$$$

Rick Grantham · Jan 16, 2013

sandeep-

One of my proudest moments is the day I finally walked down to the local courthouse to inquire how I get a tax id and register a business. Had thought about it for years, decades maybe. Its freeing to just take that friggin' step and do what you feel you are destined to do.

If you've taken that first step, then take another. If you don't like it... Then stop doing it and post on an IT forum instead

Cheers-
Rick

Dilshad · Jan 22, 2013

Hi Sandeep,
Dilshad here, I am in EXACTLY the same boat as your in! I am a I.T consultant working from project-to-project. Ever since I was little, I had desire and still do to have my own business. Let's keep in touch. My email: dilshad40@hotmail.com

Dilshad · Jan 22, 2013

Hi Vick, could you help me? my email: dilshad40@hotmail.com

Tommy92l · Jan 24, 2013

Hey man, I work at a crappy job , but I know I won't be there for long. Eventually you just need to step up and work, work, work. When you don't wanna work, work. When you wanna work hard, work harder. When you don't know what to work on, work on finding what to work on (This has been a bit of a problem for me that I need to stop ignoring).

Anyway, I sold some things on ebay that I had laying around the house and as MMatt said, I sold them starting at 0.01, it will be scary starting out because you are gonna keep thinking if they will really sell that low. Chances are, they won't The lady at the post office literally walked me through shipping things, how the boxes work and what type to select. This was only 2 weeks ago. I walked in holding 6 boxes and looked liked a bit of a weirdo with nothing to ship them in, sure enough, I now know how to and am on my way.

AgonI · Jan 24, 2013

If you are reading this post that means you haven't learned the lesson Vigilante gave you about 10 posts above. That's where you should have closed this page and STARTED DOING SOME SH*T

Tommy92l · Jan 24, 2013

AgonI said:
If you are reading this post that means you haven't learned the lesson Vigilante gave you about 10 posts above. That's where you should have closed this page and STARTED DOING SOME SH*T

Who you talking to?

Brentnal · Jan 24, 2013

Hey sanddeep i am just like you but only i am 16 my first step to being a entrupeneur is to start my own ebay bussiness i already read alot and looked on youtube maybe we can start something i don't now?

1PercentStreet · Jan 24, 2013

Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself
Do not let fear control you, control your fear.

joschi · Jan 24, 2013

It’s been a while since I last busy myself with the big complex of fear. So I can’t remember everything and I wrote all my articles in German... I try to write it in English as good as I can.)

Basically the advice some people give here is right. Just move your a$$ and do something. But sometimes it’s not so easy. Especially the first few steps. A friend of mine suffering from chronic fears and he just doesn’t get over those (And he doesn’t doing anything to get them managed)... It’s really a vicious cycle. And I think you are in a similar situation, maybe not as bad as him but basically similar.

Don’t listen to people who say you are better with a normal job and business is not for everyone. That’s simply not true! You and you alone decide what’s best for you. And the situation in which you are currently is only your fault. It doesn’t matter if you are poor or a millionaire; it’s your fault

! And at least you should try it… And try again and again.

You just don’t figure out how it works so far (and in case of business it’s the same for me, I don’t be successful now, but I keep trying.)
If you are still struggling with starting I suggest that the first thing you should look into is how fear works and wye we have fears. Everyone has fears, but some people can control them.

There is one thing you must understand.

You said:
I just realized that I am afraid to fail. Some reasons might be that my wife and father is not supportive of this idea.

Please read this carefully, it tells you how a human mind works (at least a part of it):

You are not afraid of fail! You are afraid of the PAIN you feel if you fail! The pain when your girlfriend says “I told you so” And your dad is disappointed, the pain of rejection! The pain is the key, not the failure! That’s because your subconsciousness does ANYTHING (and I mean this literally) to avoid fear and gain pleasure. And that’s fine! That’s important for surviving! But there is a problem with that: Your subconsciousness can’t consider time! It only considers the direct effect!

Example: Eat a Pizza. It tastes well = Pizza is good, gives you a good feeling.
But what if you eat pizza every day? Will it still feel good after 2 years of pizza? Or will you get fat and unhealthy? You now you will die young. Your consciousness knows that. But not your subconsciousness! That’s wye people eat shitty food, smoke, watch TV, and don’t go out of their comfort zone (e.g. quit their job and do something fulfilling. (I am no exeption to this pattern).

You must get aware wye you have fears and you must know where they come from!
Basically you have now the knowledge to control your fear. Think about it

you will see it gets easier with knowing and a lot easier with trying.

If you want to look deeper into it I suggest you start reading books! A good start will be:

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action: Amazon.de: Susan Jeffers: Englische BÃ¼cher

I really hope this helps you and some others.
If you have further questions just ask or write me a PM. I try to answer if my time allow me to.
_____________________________
Edit:
I just want to add a little, I am not sure I fit was clear enough. Use your fear! Let your fear drive you!

Reframe your fears reframe the Situation!
For your special situation ask yourself the fooling questions:

- How would the people you love and like react if you make it?
- What are your goals in life?
- Where will you stand in 5 years if you change nothing?
- Where will you be if you do it, what are the possibility’s
- What are the worst things that could happen if you try / don’t try it?

Reframe your fears! What are you more scared of?

Of trying and failing + some “I told you so” and one day you chilling in your house one the beach with the woman you really dreamed of and love.

Or of don’t trying, and one day in your deathbed you regret your whole life?

I have a friend who once told me he is afraid of death. That’s what`s drives him. Even becoming clear of, and understand your own mortality can drive you!
_____________________________

With greetings from Berlin
Joschi

sandeep · Jan 24, 2013

joschi said:
It’s been a while since I last busy myself with the big complex of fear. So I can’t remember everything and I wrote all my articles in German... I try to write it in English as good as I can.)

Basically the advice some people give here is right. Just move your a$$ and do something. But sometimes it’s not so easy. Especially the first few steps. A friend of mine suffering from chronic fears and he just doesn’t get over those (And he doesn’t doing anything to get them managed)... It’s really a vicious cycle. And I think you are in a similar situation, maybe not as bad as him but basically similar.

Don’t listen to people who say you are better with a normal job and business is not for everyone. That’s simply not true! You and you alone decide what’s best for you. And the situation in which you are currently is only your fault. It doesn’t matter if you are poor or a millionaire; it’s your fault ! And at least you should try it… And try again and again.

You just don’t figure out how it works so far (and in case of business it’s the same for me, I don’t be successful now, but I keep trying.)
If you are still struggling with starting I suggest that the first thing you should look into is how fear works and wye we have fears. Everyone has fears, but some people can control them.

There is one thing you must understand.

Please read this carefully, it tells you how a human mind works (at least a part of it):

You are not afraid of fail! You are afraid of the PAIN you feel if you fail! The pain when your girlfriend says “I told you so” And your dad is disappointed, the pain of rejection! The pain is the key, not the failure! That’s because your subconsciousness does ANYTHING (and I mean this literally) to avoid fear and gain pleasure. And that’s fine! That’s important for surviving! But there is a problem with that: Your subconsciousness can’t consider time! It only considers the direct effect!

Example: Eat a Pizza. It tastes well = Pizza is good, gives you a good feeling.
But what if you eat pizza every day? Will it still feel good after 2 years of pizza? Or will you get fat and unhealthy? You now you will die young. Your consciousness knows that. But not your subconsciousness! That’s wye people eat shitty food, smoke, watch TV, and don’t go out of their comfort zone (e.g. quit their job and do something fulfilling. (I am no exeption to this pattern).

You must get aware wye you have fears and you must know where they come from!
Basically you have now the knowledge to control your fear. Think about it you will see it gets easier with knowing and a lot easier with trying.

If you want to look deeper into it I suggest you start reading books! A good start will be:

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action: Amazon.de: Susan Jeffers: Englische BÃ¼cher

I really hope this helps you and some others.
If you have further questions just ask or write me a PM. I try to answer if my time allow me to.
_____________________________
Edit:
I just want to add a little, I am not sure I fit was clear enough. Use your fear! Let your fear drive you!

Reframe your fears reframe the Situation!
For your special situation ask yourself the fooling questions:

- How would the people you love and like react if you make it?
- What are your goals in life?
- Where will you stand in 5 years if you change nothing?
- Where will you be if you do it, what are the possibility’s
- What are the worst things that could happen if you try / don’t try it?

Reframe your fears! What are you more scared of?

Of trying and failing + some “I told you so” and one day you chilling in your house one the beach with the woman you really dreamed of and love.

Or of don’t trying, and one day in your deathbed you regret your whole life?

I have a friend who once told me he is afraid of death. That’s what`s drives him. Even becoming clear of, and understand your own mortality can drive you!
_____________________________

With greetings from Berlin
Joschi

Thank you Joschi for taking a time to write on this!!

Now, I know that biggest risk in life would be not failing but to die oneday and regretting not doing what I loved..:smx9:

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