Hey all!
Recently a friend of mine agreed to vouch for me so that I could become an intern at the start up he was consulting. I've been set to the task of writing pitch emails to popular blogs for the launch of the start up's product, but it's been tough coming up with a title to hook an editor in. I've been doing the Gary Halbert copy challenge, so I've been taking pointers from that, but I still feel as though my headlines are pretty lacking. I'm currently reading Tested Adverising Methods, and from what I've read so far, nothing matters as much as the headline.
We'll say that the company I'm pitching for has just invented a brand new "smart" chair that works with your smartphone to create the ultimate comfort experience.
At first, I was running with the headline:
"A Killer App for your Chair?"
Then reconsidered, as I thought that to an article writer that could just as easily be random spam...plus it's only a call to someone's curiosity, with nothing else in it.
Next, I changed it a bit to:
"An Article Your Readers Will Love - The Killer App for your Chair"
My thinking behind that was putting something the writer would be interested in (putting out an article his readers would love) in the headline, and also to mark it out as being an article pitch and not just any random message.
But something still looks off to me about it. I'm not really sure what and was wondering if any of you PR/Copy masters could impart some of your ever-valuable wisdom on me.
Thanks for the read!
Recently a friend of mine agreed to vouch for me so that I could become an intern at the start up he was consulting. I've been set to the task of writing pitch emails to popular blogs for the launch of the start up's product, but it's been tough coming up with a title to hook an editor in. I've been doing the Gary Halbert copy challenge, so I've been taking pointers from that, but I still feel as though my headlines are pretty lacking. I'm currently reading Tested Adverising Methods, and from what I've read so far, nothing matters as much as the headline.
We'll say that the company I'm pitching for has just invented a brand new "smart" chair that works with your smartphone to create the ultimate comfort experience.
At first, I was running with the headline:
"A Killer App for your Chair?"
Then reconsidered, as I thought that to an article writer that could just as easily be random spam...plus it's only a call to someone's curiosity, with nothing else in it.
Next, I changed it a bit to:
"An Article Your Readers Will Love - The Killer App for your Chair"
My thinking behind that was putting something the writer would be interested in (putting out an article his readers would love) in the headline, and also to mark it out as being an article pitch and not just any random message.
But something still looks off to me about it. I'm not really sure what and was wondering if any of you PR/Copy masters could impart some of your ever-valuable wisdom on me.
Thanks for the read!
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