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INTRO Why are my whys not strong enough?

Nikhil God

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Hey everyone, this is Nikhil and I am currently going through my worst phase in life.

Taking complete responsibility for the position I am in right now at 18 where I have to skip meals due to unaffordability. I am still not able to change things around. My whys are super solid considering the amount of humility, pain, and shame I have felt for not being able to afford even the most basic of necessities. I have had enough of all this but still, end up binge-watching the 'best gangster movies' or just action-faking by reading threads and guides online every day. I have over 20 self-help books but nothing to show for it except a few blog writing gigs. That too I got fed up with as I got paid pennies due to being a non-native writer.

I don't expect anything from this forum right now as I have realized more gold threads are not going to solve the problems with my mindset. What I hope someone can make clear to me is why don't I want it strong enough when I loathe and despise the rock bottom I am in. TIA
 

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Kybalion

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Because the binge-watching eases your pain. It basically dulls your brain with dopamine that you didn't earn. Make the movies inaccessible. Use web blockers if necessary. Embrace the pain.

Dopamine is a hell-of-a-drug. Recognize that You may be addicted to it.
 

Timmy C

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Hey everyone, this is Nikhil and I am currently going through my worst phase in life.

Taking complete responsibility for the position I am in right now at 18 where I have to skip meals due to unaffordability. I am still not able to change things around. My whys are super solid considering the amount of humility, pain, and shame I have felt for not being able to afford even the most basic of necessities. I have had enough of all this but still, end up binge-watching the 'best gangster movies' or just action-faking by reading threads and guides online every day. I have over 20 self-help books but nothing to show for it except a few blog writing gigs. That too I got fed up with as I got paid pennies due to being a non-native writer.

I don't expect anything from this forum right now as I have realized more gold threads are not going to solve the problems with my mindset. What I hope someone can make clear to me is why don't I want it strong enough when I loathe and despise the rock bottom I am in. TIA

Your only 18 your rock bottom can't be that bad.

You don't see yet and havent experienced any really devastating compounding effects your choices you make right now have on your future.

Add another 10 years onto your age and you being in the same situation and i think it would be different.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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Because the binge-watching eases your pain. It basically dulls your brain with dopamine that you didn't earn. Make the movies inaccessible. Use web blockers if necessary. Embrace the pain.

Dopamine is a hell-of-a-drug. Recognize that You may be addicted to it.
Certainly agree with that but I also get a good high out of getting some wins in my personal development like writing a killer blog post or getting paid, even finishing a chapter in Millionaire Fastlane for that matter. So while I can see why my 'brain' would prefer the movies I know they are not what I want to stay glued to all the time.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Your only 18 your rock bottom can't be that bad.

You don't see yet and havent experienced any really devastating compounding effects your choices you make right now have on your future.

Add another 10 years onto your age and you being in the same situation and i think it would be different.
I guess not but I have seen enough of my short terms choices wreak havoc to the point where we have nothing to eat at times. I can't even imagine living life like this 1 year down the line as it just makes me shudder to watch people around me live their lives comfortably if not lavishly. My mom works extremely hard but still has the sidewalk mentality of spending it all at once and then hoping for the next pay/loan or handouts. So I feel like I need to turn this around from now on.
 

Timmy C

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I guess not but I have seen enough of my short terms choices wreak havoc to the point where we have nothing to eat at times. I can't even imagine living life like this 1 year down the line as it just makes me shudder to watch people around me live their lives comfortably if not lavishly. My mom works extremely hard but still has the sidewalk mentality of spending it all at once and then hoping for the next pay/loan or handouts. So I feel like I need to turn this around from now on.

Looks can be deceiving as well don't forget.

Most likely the people around you are swimming in debt.

Also don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you where yesterday.

I have deleted my facebook and only kept my business stuff, i don't see anything on facebook apart from my business facebook group and page, this helps alot. Social media is cancer and would probably have alot to do with how you feel.

Help your mum out and get a job if you don't have one already, sounds like you might be depressed which can really make you down 24/7.

Don't speak about your mum like shes a sidewalker she is doing the best SHE CAN to put food in your mouth and a roof over YOUR head.
 

Tiago

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Being real here, sorry if I’m completely wrong or offend you, but...

You just don’t want it bad enough.

Very simply, if you wanted it enough, you’d have it by now or at least be working in that direction.

NOW... that doesn’t mean this state is permanent, in any way.

Actually working to create your life stems from a simple decision: Am I willing to put in the work?

Be very clear on your answer to this. Because right now you have competing commitments.

Commitment A: binge watch gangster movies

Commitment B: create your dream life

Currently commitment A is stronger.
 

Primeperiwinkle

though she be but little...
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You’re more committed to punishing your past self for being a failure than rewarding your future successful self.

The answer isn’t in figuring out why you hate yourself so much. It’s in deciding to love this kid, this 18 yr old, enough to connect him to excellent things.

Doing any action ties you to it. The stronger your ties to good things are the better you feel about yourself. You’re making the decision to tie yourself to bad habits.

Instead, you have to decide to hope in good things and have faith in good possibilities MORE than having agony about your current situation.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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Looks can be deceiving as well don't forget.

Most likely the people around you are swimming in debt.

Also don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you where yesterday.

I have deleted my facebook and only kept my business stuff, i don't see anything on facebook apart from my business facebook group and page, this helps alot. Social media is cancer and would probably have alot to do with how you feel.

Help your mum out and get a job if you don't have one already, sounds like you might be depressed which can really make you down 24/7.

Don't speak about your mum like shes a sidewalker she is doing the best SHE CAN to put food in your mouth and a roof over YOUR head.
I wholly agree on social media bit, that is why all I do is just post poetry on my Instagram page every day (a passion of mine) and use Facebook to look for some writing gigs.

The only comparison I fall into is people around in college living their lives openly while I struggle to scrounge for transport money to even reach college. A lot of pity-talk I know but pity is my favorite vice it seems.

That all being said, I am not depressed a single bit because I know I can change this all in a month or even a week if I put myself to it. Also, I do love my mum and all she does for me and my brother just hate the money mindset we are ingrained around here.

I appreciate you taking the time to read and revert back to me by the way, it means a lot.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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Being real here, sorry if I’m completely wrong or offend you, but...

You just don’t want it bad enough.

Very simply, if you wanted it enough, you’d have it by now or at least be working in that direction.

NOW... that doesn’t mean this state is permanent, in any way.

Actually working to create your life stems from a simple decision: Am I willing to put in the work?

Be very clear on your answer to this. Because right now you have competing commitments.

Commitment A: binge watch gangster movies

Commitment B: create your dream life

Currently commitment A is stronger.
Appreciate you putting out your true opinion.


I do know that at this point in time I don't want it bad enough. What I can't understand is the why because everywhere I look the situations are screaming for me to take charge and start changing myself for good.

Commitment A is certainly stronger at the moment but I am going to change that.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jun 18, 2019
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You’re more committed to punishing your past self for being a failure than rewarding your future successful self.

The answer isn’t in figuring out why you hate yourself so much. It’s in deciding to love this kid, this 18 yr old, enough to connect him to excellent things.

Doing any action ties you to it. The stronger your ties to good things are the better you feel about yourself. You’re making the decision to tie yourself to bad habits.

Instead, you have to decide to hope in good things and have faith in good possibilities MORE than having agony about your current situation.
Wow, thank you for writing this. I realize now how much I have been obsessing about my time until now without thinking about how can I grow into a better person next.

Do you have a suggestion for any actions (small or large) that I can undertake to kickstart this shift in myself?
 

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Primeperiwinkle

though she be but little...
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Wow, thank you for writing this. I realize now how much I have been obsessing about my time until now without thinking about how can I grow into a better person next.

Do you have a suggestion for any actions (small or large) that I can undertake to kickstart this shift in myself?
This is where it gets tricky. You have no habits of taking care of yourself, not really. You prolly don’t have enough faith to see that far in the future either.

What country are you in?
Do you have access to a library?
If you went for a two mile walk would you be in nature?

What kind of man do you want to be? The coolest, most successful, happy, GIVING version of you at 30yrs old.. does he have six pack abs? Can he discuss the news with government leaders? Do ppl listen to him? Does he create excellent art or music?

Does he put the dishes away? Make his bed? Does he help the ppl in his life whether they notice or not?

What are the tiny habits that would move you closer to being like him? He must be a good man, for you to sacrifice today and this year and next year for him... He must be absolutely amazing.
 

Kusneak

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Jun 20, 2019
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First of all: What do you want? Who you want to be? What are your goals?
I fully agree with you that a strong why is very important to push yourself through hard times but where you want to go?
I was feeling like you for over 2 years, all o knew was i want to be free. But you can´t get more informations about your next steps out of this. What you need is a clear vision of what you want and where you want to be. Write it down, break this targets into small pices and begin with simple steps wich lead you into the right direction
 

Tiago

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Appreciate you putting out your true opinion.


I do know that at this point in time I don't want it bad enough. What I can't understand is the why because everywhere I look the situations are screaming for me to take charge and start changing myself for good.

Commitment A is certainly stronger at the moment but I am going to change that.
Awesome, and why is “understanding your why” so important to you?

What if it doesn’t matter?

People sell this idea that you need a powerful why to wake up every morning and put in the work required.

I say that’s great, AND a why can be developed through time.

My why right now is much stronger than when I started my business. Passion is something that grows the more you dedicate yourself to it.

My why in the beginning was to pay my bills. That’s it. Now that they’re more than covered, I can transcend to different levels of why.

Just start. You’ll find your why later.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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This is where it gets tricky. You have no habits of taking care of yourself, not really. You prolly don’t have enough faith to see that far in the future either.

What country are you in?
Do you have access to a library?
If you went for a two mile walk would you be in nature?

What kind of man do you want to be? The coolest, most successful, happy, GIVING version of you at 30yrs old.. does he have six pack abs? Can he discuss the news with government leaders? Do ppl listen to him? Does he create excellent art or music?

Does he put the dishes away? Make his bed? Does he help the ppl in his life whether they notice or not?

What are the tiny habits that would move you closer to being like him? He must be a good man, for you to sacrifice today and this year and next year for him... He must be absolutely amazing.
I am in India

Yes, the library is one of the only places of solace for me being both an avid reader and literature student.

Not really, but yeah I travel to a park a bit far away.

I have written my personal hero and what do I need to do in order to reach that. A bit short-sighted but I will tweak it as I grow and experience more of life. Money keeps me bound towards inaction with a lot of these but I guess that is just my excuse rationale speaking.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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First of all: What do you want? Who you want to be? What are your goals?
I fully agree with you that a strong why is very important to push yourself through hard times but where you want to go?
I was feeling like you for over 2 years, all o knew was i want to be free. But you can´t get more informations about your next steps out of this. What you need is a clear vision of what you want and where you want to be. Write it down, break this targets into small pices and begin with simple steps wich lead you into the right direction
I don't really believe in having it all figured out beforehand but yes I do have a good idea and imagery of what I want to be. Goals are along the same line but currently, I am at a point where I have to get out of this pit to be able to work on my desired persona. It's like I need to eat something anything before being able to start with a 'bodybuilding' diet plan.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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Awesome, and why is “understanding your why” so important to you?

What if it doesn’t matter?

People sell this idea that you need a powerful why to wake up every morning and put in the work required.

I say that’s great, AND a why can be developed through time.

My why right now is much stronger than when I started my business. Passion is something that grows the more you dedicate yourself to it.

My why in the beginning was to pay my bills. That’s it. Now that they’re more than covered, I can transcend to different levels of why.

Just start. You’ll find your why later.
I can very well say my why is along the same line as yours. The idea of getting more passionate as progress happens is the key I see. So dedicated action towards something that pays the bills and frees me to grow in other areas should be the way?
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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I would like to know: Why are you here at this forum or/and why have you read TMF? What are you expecting If you change your behaviours in the way you want?
Short answer: To get better as an individual in finances primarily (book) and in life (this forum).

What I am really expecting if I change my behavior is me working towards giving myself and my family a better life. Like something better than the daily hues and cries over pennies, food or other necessities, etc. Just getting out of this hell-hole for starters
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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I think you need to change your approach.

Get a job and hustle trading time for money for a while.
Now, this might come across as an excuse but there isn't much scope for part-time jobs here in India, at least not in the Tier-II town I live in.

I do work online as a writer but it is seriously soul-crushing for peanuts and most quality gigs have this 'Native' writer requirements.
 

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Tiago

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I can very well say my why is along the same line as yours. The idea of getting more passionate as progress happens is the key I see. So dedicated action towards something that pays the bills and frees me to grow in other areas should be the way?
It’s not THE way. It’s A way. Choose what you resonate most with, but go and create your life as you want it.

Every dream has a price tag, see if you’re willing to pay the price tag.
 

Johnny boy

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Bro you’re 18 you’re a little baby.

I’m 22 and also a baby.

I remember going through the change drawer for gas money just for me to barely make it to go work on my own business.

The difference is that I had my chest puffed out telling everyone I was going to be a big success and had no shame. People would tell me straight to my face I was a delusional a**hole. You still couldn’t tell me nothing.

Stop judging yourself. You’re as good as you believe.

This part is important right here:

You’re not broke because you’re dumb, weak, not good at business, etc.

You’re broke because you’re just not making money. It’s obvious and simple. But it doesn’t have anything to do with you “not wanting it enough”.

It takes time, some self awareness, some hustle, some luck, and then you wake up in 4 years with a dope business and people think you’re the shit.

Here’s what I would do...

Pull out your phone and take a video. Say “this is my lowest point. I can’t afford to buy food. I hate my life. I’m going to make it someday. I’ll be a massive success and everything will be worth it”. And save that video. It’ll be so F*cking cool to watch it when you’re a big shot.

I did that when I was 20. I said “I have no money in my bank account. I dropped out of college. I’ve got nothing going for me. But I’m going to be rich as shit. I’ll post this video someday and have a good laugh” and with each new day I’m getting more and more excited about it.
 

MILIANARD134

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Your why isn’t Something you shiuld find. You should be driven. Im not passionate about waking up at 6 and run 6 mile everyday. And go to my label. Im so fuking driven that i know i can’t Do anything else. I’m so driven to look un the mirror after my pain and say « oh waw fuking beast ». I’m so driven to be better everyday that i can’t Take a fuking cheatmeal. You Need to looks honestly in the mirror

Accept You are an actor and no longe a spectator. Don’t expect something from this forum or anyone. You Need to fuking Earn this yourself.
Sell your tv, stop watching those fuking gangster movie. Stop those blog posts, reading self help book. Take accountability first. Post in thé accountability thread every day. Write down your goals: no tv not one single minute. No dreaming,no self help,no read gold thread because even if it’s so valuable. YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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It’s not THE way. It’s A way. Choose what you resonate most with, but go and create your life as you want it.

Every dream has a price tag, see if you’re willing to pay the price tag.
Thanks a lot, I have decided to follow @SinisterLex copywriting thread as I have some experience in writing content already. I intend to take pure action from now and see if that gets me to where I wanna go.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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Bro you’re 18 you’re a little baby.

I’m 22 and also a baby.

I remember going through the change drawer for gas money just for me to barely make it to go work on my own business.

The difference is that I had my chest puffed out telling everyone I was going to be a big success and had no shame. People would tell me straight to my face I was a delusional a**hole. You still couldn’t tell me nothing.

Stop judging yourself. You’re as good as you believe.

This part is important right here:

You’re not broke because you’re dumb, weak, not good at business, etc.

You’re broke because you’re just not making money. It’s obvious and simple. But it doesn’t have anything to do with you “not wanting it enough”.

It takes time, some self awareness, some hustle, some luck, and then you wake up in 4 years with a dope business and people think you’re the shit.

Here’s what I would do...

Pull out your phone and take a video. Say “this is my lowest point. I can’t afford to buy food. I hate my life. I’m going to make it someday. I’ll be a massive success and everything will be worth it”. And save that video. It’ll be so F*cking cool to watch it when you’re a big shot.

I did that when I was 20. I said “I have no money in my bank account. I dropped out of college. I’ve got nothing going for me. But I’m going to be rich as shit. I’ll post this video someday and have a good laugh” and with each new day I’m getting more and more excited about it.
True that, people have a funny way of hopping on the bandwagon when you have some wins under your belt.

Haha though I will have to add that I can't even afford a damn smartphone and make the video on my shitty laptop cam. But so be it

Kudos to you on taking the leap and sharing your insights with me.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Jun 18, 2019
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Your why isn’t Something you shiuld find. You should be driven. Im not passionate about waking up at 6 and run 6 mile everyday. And go to my label. Im so fuking driven that i know i can’t Do anything else. I’m so driven to look un the mirror after my pain and say « oh waw fuking beast ». I’m so driven to be better everyday that i can’t Take a fuking cheatmeal. You Need to looks honestly in the mirror

Accept You are an actor and no longe a spectator. Don’t expect something from this forum or anyone. You Need to fuking Earn this yourself.
Sell your tv, stop watching those fuking gangster movie. Stop those blog posts, reading self help book. Take accountability first. Post in thé accountability thread every day. Write down your goals: no tv not one single minute. No dreaming,no self help,no read gold thread because even if it’s so valuable. YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION.
An actor, no longer a spectator. Need to stick this to my mind along with being a producer and not a consumer.

I wrote down my goals for today after reading this. 6 goals for my body + mind. Going to start working out at home with a basic bodyweight routine for now and keep off all easy dopamine like movies, youtube, etc.

No dreaming, no self-help (starting to read Cashvertising for copywriting skills), no more new gold threads and just ACTION.Hope to keep this determination going for long
 

Creep

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Talk is one thing, pm me if you want to do a video chat and we can get to work on your projects today.
 
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Nikhil God

Nikhil God

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Action taking progress report:-

I have started working on building my copywriting skills by going through @Lex DeVille's golden thread and Cashvertising.

Also, made my website with Wix:- OhMyGod Copywriting
Will need to add a lot of content to this especially the portfolio section which I have to figure out. The website looks a bit cheap due to the free Wix plan but I hope I can make some cash with this to reinvest in a professional domain and Wix plan.

Setup up some website blockers as well to block Facebook, Youtube, and movie streaming websites.

About 5 hours are still left so I will tweak the website a bit, read more about copywriting and try to create a daily sleep-waking up schedule.

The only thing that escapes me right now is money which although is not my supreme goal but is most necessary. Thanks a lot if you took the time to read this
 

MattR82

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Your only 18 your rock bottom can't be that bad.

You don't see yet and havent experienced any really devastating compounding effects your choices you make right now have on your future.

Add another 10 years onto your age and you being in the same situation and i think it would be different.
Disagree. It's all relative. 18 was by far the worst time of my life.

I'm glad he made this thread and think there will be some great suggestions.
 

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