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When I do this...I'll be happier?

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djs13

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Oct 3, 2007
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I've been doing that alot. I haven't really been listing my goals in that type of form, but lately I've had ideas in my head like:

- When I get my license, I'll be happier... (already happend)
- When I graduate High School, I'll be happier (one and a half more years...)
- When I actually take a big plunge in the business world, I'll be happier...(I've only had tiny ventures)

Is this incorrect thinking because I think so? It's tough for me to really focus on goal setting when I have all of these things like high school that I want to get out of the way. I love my friends and the people, but the actual eduation and loss time of what I could be doing something productive is killing me.
 

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AndrewG

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Nov 3, 2007
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You should always be happy no matter what. Being happy and positive will bring you to success much quicker. As for high school, just take it one day at a time. I'm 19 and was in HS a few years ago. When I was there it felt like I was never going to get out. But before you know it, it's all over.

-Andrew
 

JesseO

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Jul 25, 2007
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I've found that happiness is not what you have, but just how feel regardless of what's going on around you. I remember waking up one morning in 2004 with no electricity, a destroyed apartment, no food (literally) for the past 15-20 days, and nothing to look forward to.....I started laughing because despite all my problems, for once I felt genuinely good and happy. I was happy to simply be alive. Ever since that day I have had a new outlook on life, and I know that no matter what happens to me, it's my point of view that determines how I feel and what I will do next. Still, I feel that once I have that cool sports car, big house, and 4 vacations a year that I'll enjoy life more...which may or may not be true...but true happiness is not what you have, it's who you are. Sorry if I got off on a tangent here; I'm just in a good mood =) Best of luck to you djs13.
 

andviv

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- When I get my license, I'll be happier... (already happend)

Did it really happened? When you got your license, were you happy for a few minutes or you now are content for having it?

If you attach your happiness to events that may/may not happen then you are missing the beauty of life in its current state. This reminds me of something that struck me hard when watching The Secret.... be thankful. Give thanks for what you have and for what you will have. This provides a more positive outlook to your life.

Focus more on the good things that do exist today in your life, and less on what lack in it.

Makes sense?
 

kimberland

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Jul 25, 2007
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Happiness is in the trip, not in the destination.

I also think that happiness can be a learned trait.
You know how to find a great opp,
you have to train yourself to look for them?
How about training yourself to look for things that make you happy?

Play a game with your brain.
Begin the day looking for that one thing that makes you happy.
At first, it might take you all day
but as you get better at it,
that happy prompt will happen earlier and earlier in the day.
 

GettingThere

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Dec 3, 2007
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Reading this makes me think that you really mean you will feel proud of an accomplishment, which is perfectly healthy.

I don't know your personal situations in life, but graduating, getting a license to drive, and forming a successful business are all accomplishments that provide a sense of pride. Of course, there is the other side of the equation...the goal has been met. Now what? It's time to get on to the next achievement. Life goes on, and for progressive thinkers, there is always something new to conquer after meeting a goal.

I would argue that you do not mean that you will be "happy" when you do xxxxx , rather, that you will feel proud for accomplishing a goal you set out to achieve. If you have already started some "tiny" ventures, I would say you are well on your way to accomplishing that third goal. It's sometimes difficult to take the time to look around and think about your life in its present state because you are so consumed by achieving a specific goal, but, as I am learning, patience can work in parallel with determination for a more balanced day-to-day life. Going full-bore all the time to achieve a goal is like watching a movie and fast forwarding to the "good parts". You can miss some great stuff along the way. Your "tiny" ventures and high school (education as well as social interactions) are part of that stuff.


- John
 

andviv

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This article from Tim Ferriss' blog mentions the point I was trying to make....

If we define “achievement” as obtaining things we desire (whether raises, relationships, cars, pets, or otherwise) that have the potential to give us pleasure, let’s define “appreciation” as our ability to get pleasure out of those things. To focus on the former to the exclusion of the latter is like valuing cooking over eating.
 

yveskleinsky

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Jul 26, 2007
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I used to catch myself saying that I would be happier as soon as X happens. Well X comes and goes, and then I was focused on the next achievement and that I would be happier when it was over. I broke this habit my senior year in high school and decided to enjoy the moment- life's a journey not a destination. Cliche, I know- but true. You decide when you are going to be happy and what will make you feel that way. Don't wait to be happy- choose to be happy now! ...I posted about this awhile back, but Rick Warren said that he had come to realize that life is not a series of high and lows, but that highs and lows happen everyday- these two realities exist simultaneously- and how you feel depends on which reality you are focused on at the time. Embracing this philosophy has really changed my life.
 

dbeck29

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Jan 4, 2008
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I found this a few years ago and i figure this was a great place to post it...

I'll be happy when... We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with . and remember that time waits for no one. So, stop waiting Until your car or home is paid off. Until you get a new car or home. Until your kids leave the house. Until you go back to school. Until you finish school. Until you lose 10 lbs. Until you gain 10 lbs. Until you get married. Until you get a divorce. Until you have kids. Until you retire. Until summer.. Until spring. Until winter. Until fall. Until you die. There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.
 

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