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What would you tell your 18 or 25 year old self?

odai

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My favorite lessons from the thread so far...

Refuse to judge yourself for the time already wasted, that was in ignorance, now you know, no excuses from now on.

Spend more time with your parents. Make their life better.

Stop chasing after girls whose looks promise heaven and deliver hell. Admit it, you're just horny and your balls are controlling your actions. Take control of your ridiculous urges bro.
...
YOU CANNOT CHEAT THE GRIND SO STOP LOOKING FOR SHORTCUTS.
 
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Skys

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I would first let my old me understand why in life it's so important to create healthy habits and to learn how to make the right decisions.

I would learn him how to browse Amazon, and how to search for the best books available. Then I would teach him the same about Youtube, to show him that there is more on youtube then watching hiphop videoclips.

The biggest lesson I would try to bring home, is awareness. When I was 25, I was so stuck in my head that I knew it all.
This was because I lost my father when I was 17, and experienced lots of bad shit before the age of 20. This gave me a fake sense on entitlement. "Why would I listen to him, I have so much life experience.. I don't need to listen". On one hand, this was true. I knew nobody who experienced all the shit I went trough. On the other hand, I could have listened to more succesfull people. I could have listened to people who told me to gain skills and to gain knowledge.

I was completely blind for what happening around me, and I have been busy for the last 2 years to clean up the mess in my head.

I would advice him to not take drugs, alcohol and to have a great time with the people around him. Play hard, Work hard.

I would teach him the importance of work ethic and that's it better to fail then to never had tried at all.

I would teach him to surround himself with uplifting people who have ambition. People that really want to go get it. No matter if that's on an athletic, musical or business level. See, I made music with friends, but we never had that 100% engagement that made us really go for what we wanted.

I would teach him the power of full engagement. To love himself like Kanye West loves Kanye West.
To show him that its of utmost important to trust in oneself, while staying grounded in reality.

I would show him why formal educating is (most likely) bullshit. I would tell him that I studied for 10 years to end up with a coworker in my first job, who never studied at all, was a car salesman and nailed it way better then I did.

I would show him the importance of money. Not because of the big cars, which never did much for me, but for what I know this 25 kid does find important; Family. You can provide your family the world if you understand money. A great education, a great environment to grow your kids.

I would show him the power of letting go. Because in the end, all negative emotions end up in the upper side of your own back. Not in the back of the person you "hate".

I would show him the power of eating healthy and why it's not just about the bodyfat. I would show him that it's not shallow to care for your looks. Because, in the end it was never about the looks. It was about the mindset that developed while pulling heavy weights, while training 8 times a week and eating healthy. The feeling of strength from within, thats what I would have showed him

I would show him how it's better to focus on strengths. And to learn what those strengths are.
I would show him the difference between hard skills and soft skills.
I would show him how good it feels to bring value to the world. Even if that world is the small world you live in.

I would show him the difference between process and events and why it's so important to focus on process. Why it's so important to focus on outcomes rather then goals. I would show him that it's okay to have been a huge pimp. Because of being a pimp made him end up with this finest lady. Move in, and be happy.

Then, I would give him the link to www.thefastlaneforum.com. Because, even after he learned all that, he still can use mentors to keep growing and to get some tough love.
 
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SteveO

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I would show him the difference between process and events and why it's so important to focus on process. Why it's so important to focus on outcomes rather then goals. I would show him that it's okay to have been a huge pimp. Because of being a pimp made him end up with this finest lady. Move in, and be happy.

You must have a different definition of the word "pimp" than I do... :rockon:
 

cristian tello

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To love himself like Kanye West loves Kanye West.

tgrlk.jpg
:D :D
 

Magik

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What would I tell myself? Everything I read in TMF .

Around the age of 25 (2008 or so), I started a social network for the mental health community. I folded it around a year after I started it. Looking back, the idea was great and the product could have been something, but I was event driven. I didn't get the results I wanted quick enough, so I bowed out. I was looking for quick validation. I also didn't really know how to scale a social network either, plus I wasn't 100% committed to making it work. In reality, if I had been focused on process and had had this forum, I could have built it up and by now sold it for a lot of money. You live and you learn. I lost around 4K on that, not much really, but what it did do was educate me on the world of internet business. I don't think I'd be on the path I'm on now if it wasn't for the decision to launch that website.
 
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throttleforward

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My mini-career as an EMT has had a pretty big impact on how I view life. Some things I learned that I'd tell a 25yo:

-You'll die, but not how you think. It probably won't be the quick and relatively painless car accident or "dying in my sleep" kind of death - the only people I saw very few dead people like that, and most died way too young (in their teens due to some fluke car accident). The worst hell I can think of is sitting in a nursing home for 15 years, fully lucid but without control of your body (and I've seen plenty of them) because of something like a stroke. If you believe that thinking back and asking yourself "what if I pursued that idea..what if I wasn't such a wimp...what if I gave it my all" from your front porch on your social security income sounds bad, imagine it in a hospital bed in a nursing home surrounded by a bunch of people who really could care less about you, with bed sores on your butt because you haven't moved in the last 6 hours and the nurse's aid hasn't bothered to move you. Oh by the way, you're sharing your room with someone with dementia who screams all the time and poops on themselves on a regular basis, because you can't afford a private room on your Medicare/Medicaid room.

-Happiness truly doesn't come from money. Money makes a LOT of stuff easier and can certainly facilitate happiness, but it's the people around you combined with your mindset that will equal happiness. I've seen incredibly happy poor people from the worst parts of town, and dead unhappy people who shot themselves even though they clearly came from money.

-The people who succeed and survive in life are those who are willing to ask questions, put themselves out there, put their pride away, and humble themselves.

-All of us are capable of incredible feats of physical and mental strength. I've seen people smile and carry on cordial conversations while they were bleeding to death internally...I've seen fathers save the lives of children who were dying because of their calm, professional approach to problem-solving, refusing to let the incredible emotion of having their child die in front of them cloud their judgement...I've seen family members convince their suborn father after a month of trying that he needed to see a doctor, not realizing that once their father got into the ambulance that he immediately went into cardiac arrest and ultimately survived because they persisted and at the last minute got him in front of medical professionals who could help him.

-Making money is simple - numerous forum posts on here detail exactly how to do it. The discipline and humility required to execute on the knowledge gained is the hard part.
 
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Locupleto

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For you 25 yr old+ guys out there, if you could go back in time, and tell your 25 year old self something, what would you say?
1. Don't take yourself so seriously.
2. "Failure is the sweat of success." Oh man. I wish I had that golden nugget back then. So afraid to make even the smallest mistake I talked myself out of doing anything for years.
3. Don't bother with law school. Forget about being a lawyer who works 20 hours a day for $160k a year. Instead, create a business and HIRE lawyers that work 20 hours a day for $160k a year...
 

chrischapman

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Instead, create a business and HIRE lawyers that work 20 hours a day for $160k a year...

this principle is gold. stuff like: don't climb the career ladder, own the ladder. dont put money into a 401k, manage the 401k etc.

successfully acting on it is the key to power, freedom and wealth
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Moved from this thread...

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/redundant-thread.54043/

The idea's I had then are the same one's I'm essentially running with now. What I didn't have at the time for all my ideas that have worked out since, was the whole process. The process that allows you to achieve those money making goals, essentially I had a 500 world vocabulary and I was acting like I had a PhD in English literature. I didn't really have any idea what I was doing, I was working off of hope not knowledge and of course I inevitably gave up on things that would definitely have led to greener pastures, had I built my vocabulary up before testing the waters. You hear other peoples inspiring stories and you simply think you can execute an idea on fairy tale ideals :p and replicate someone else's expertly laid out process. Keep dreaming kid, the second I realised all of this was 4 years later, I was just about to turn 22 and a friend mentioned some things he was doing that were earning him 4 figures a month at the time (just about) and I obviously wanted to know more. The only difference between what he was doing and what I had done was, he'd skipped the building the process and was buying tailor made accounts/pages, I followed suit and before we knew it we were both making significantly more than those 4 figures.

We'd caught onto something in the middle of it's rise not too early or too late and we took advantage of people's willingness to sell tailored accounts for niche audiences we could then advertise to as we wished, will providing entertaining & relevant content to them at the same time.

I have other ideas that have worked out and haven't because I'm missing bits of information, that aren't freely shared otherwise everyone would be doing the same thing, and those who are truly making money in their field don't give out freebies, unless you're very good friends and don't consider each other competition of course.

That's why The Millionaire Fastlane is my favourite book of this year, since reading it I've had to reevaluate everything I do, everything is a process and you don't just arrive at the finish line having done diddly squat except feeling entitled or deserving of fortune (which I did). The book is great at identifying obvious flaws in 99.9% of us as we dream about a better tomorrow and just want it given to use in some easy 5 step manual
instead of actually doing some hard work and building knowledge to get there.

Anyway I'm not exactly the best person to answer I haven't made my millions yet, and I've lost assets that could have potentially made me that much (not annually) but over the course of a few years. But I've had my taste of the good stuff even if the moment was brief, I know now what it takes to at least climb the mountain. And I can take those lessons in any future endeavours, also I'd like to add I had great support from my family supporting my ideas and sometimes plain stupidity. If I'd had worse family members (In this aspect of life) I'd have felt down on my luck and would likely be rotting, depressed in some dead end job right now. Instead with them and a nice book :p I'm optimistic for the future and feel motivated to achieve my dreams and financial freedom.
 
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Noxtus

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Im 20 and i was gunna type all the things id say to 15 year old me but i realized that would save me from alot of bad experiences and trial and error and those are the things that have really made me who i am so ill just tell him...youll figure it out kid.
 
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scott.legendre

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Never stop learning... ever

you can learn by reading.
but reading is not enough, you must learn through action.
you don't know what you don't know. you may think you know, but only action will reveal the true answer.
seek the answers through action
keep digging
...and keep learning

your job is only making someone else money, and has created an artificial ceiling on what you can accomplish. get rid of that ceiling and fly.

my 25 year old self would have listened and understood. my 20 year old self wouldn't have. 24 is when I stopped being depressed, lost a bunch of weight, and chose happiness. Best decision I've ever made.
 

Kinsey6287

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Stop pissing away your money and do something that will multiply it...
 

RazorCut

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True story. Before my Father died aged 57 he gave me the following advice (I was 18 at the time):

"Son, I gave the best years of my life to some bugger else. Don't make the same mistake."


I passed on the same information to my children. God bless you Dad.
 

Bouncing Soul

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stop being afraid.
most of your fears are foundless
take more chances...Z

This. So much this.

Lots of self employed men in my family, and I believed you couldn't take physical risks owning your own business due to being around them. I wanted to race motorcycles, climb mountains, launch off them on my snowboard and travel all over. I believed I had to get all of my "fast living" done in my 20's as an employee...so I did this stuff and chose a fun, but moderate career path that would nominally support it, especially with vacation/sick time and insurance (which I have indeed used to get bolted back together more than once, while getting paid sitting in the hospital).

Now in my 30's with wife, kid, house, some $$$ in the bank etc, finding time/motivation to work on a side project is really hard.

I'd do the order reversed now. Be fearless in business, learn it, fail if I had to and most importantly, learn how to install systems to replace myself...then do the other stuff.
 
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Iwokeup

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This. So much this.

Lots of self employed men in my family, and I believed you couldn't take physical risks owning your own business due to being around them. I wanted to race motorcycles, climb mountains, launch off them on my snowboard and travel all over. I believed I had to get all of my "fast living" done in my 20's as an employee...so I did this stuff and chose a fun, but moderate career path that would nominally support it, especially with vacation/sick time and insurance (which I have indeed used to get bolted back together more than once, while getting paid sitting in the hospital).

Now in my 30's with wife, kid, house, some $$$ in the bank etc, finding time/motivation to work on a side project is really hard.

I'd do the order reversed now. Be fearless in business, learn it, fail if I had to and most importantly, learn how to install systems to replace myself...then do the other stuff.
Yep. Fear is useless 99% of the time. Take more risks.
And since I would be time traveling, I'd hand myself a copy of TMF
 

MJ DeMarco

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"Son, I gave the best years of my life to some bugger else. Don't make the same mistake."

Wow. Eye-opening. Too bad many slowlaners will sell the best years of their life in hopes to still be alive for the worse years.
 

RazorCut

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Wow. Eye-opening. Too bad many slowlaners will sell the best years of their life in hopes to still be alive for the worse years.

Sadly so true isn't it MJ. It's like the vast majority of people walk around with permanent blinkers on. A slave to the slowlane but the saddest part is they aren't even aware of it. :(

images
 
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rcdlopez

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aikay77

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Do not waste your life playing video games daily

Learn early to stop fear in its tracks (I later summoned courage and dropped out of college)

Start learning how a a scalable business REALLY worked

Avoid all shades of network marketing programs.
 

randomnumber314

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stop being afraid.
most of your fears are foundless
take more chances.

ignore amway (ya I did that when I was 20 also) go faster. don't "KILL DAYS" F*cking around

if you can do it today get it done.

ignore 99% of people.

be nice to people. they just dont know.

always take the high road, even when its easier not to.

Z

i've found myself absolutely F*cked at 5 PM and totally fine at 9 PM. Fears cloud progress.

Lessons I've learned through doing it the "hard" way: screw naysayers, just do it, who cares if you fail (10x)?
 

Mr.International

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Go with your Gut. This alone would have saved me years of frustration and 6 months in a network marketing company.

And as my Uncle always told me "Don't Let THE LITTLE HEAD DO THE THINKING FOR THE BIG HEAD." @IceCreamKid. Lol
 
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lovecharm

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For you 25 yr old+ guys out there, if you could go back in time, and tell your 25 year old self something, what would you say?

This is from my own experience, I really wished I did these when I was 25, mind you at 25 I had several businesses running, so some of the things that I will write might just be way too advance for some people, but hey its not a crime to dream or think BIG, so why not:-

- Think BIG.
- You can grow big, age and experience is not that important, main thing is you GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION to become big and going after it.
- You HAVE TO hire people if you need to grow. You can't do everything by yourself.
- DIVIDE your money in 3 parts, 1 part stays for your spending, 1 part in short term investments (risky), 1 part in long term investments. Don't get stuck on earning money quick, look at all the successful people in the world, they all earned theirs over a period of time, not in 30 days or 90 days!
- Don't think too much about MATERIALS eg fast cars, partying in high end clubs, designer clothes, luxury holiday etc. You are not in that level yet unless you got a million dollar sitting in your bank account or you are worth over a million.
- Realise if you got lucky or not. Some times the first venture that you will start might become a big hit. So you will start to think that whatever venture you will do next will bring the same dividend. WRONG. You just got lucky on the first time, you have to try various ventures before one becomes a hit. So keep in mind that you got lucky once, it might not happen again, so be prepared for it.
- KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN. Just because one of your venture is doing well doesn't means that it will carry on doing well for the rest of your life. Soon other competitors will come in to the market and your profit margin will keep on shrinking till nothing is left for any of you. Thats how the business life cycle works. So you will have to diversify. You need to start other ventures as well and need to keep an eye out for the next big thing.
- When you are diversifying, you CAN GO OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY to look for new ventures. Lets say you sell agricultural equipment in USA, but now the market is saturated, however in Africa the demand for the agricultural equipment is on the rise but not many suppliers are there, so you can go to Africa and start a business over there. It might sound difficult to go to a new country to start up your business, but its lot easier than you think, yes you need to fill up various legal forms and all these, but there are professionals out there who will do it for you, so all you do is expand your business network and your profit will start to grow.
- You will NEED TO GO PUBLIC if you want to grow your business even bigger. Public means becoming Public limited company and getting listed in the stock exchange. Look at the top 100 rich list in forbes, every ones company is listed in the stock exchange (unless they are prince or king of a country) and there is a very good reason for it. You earn money in the money market. Ok, may be its not something every 25 year old need to know, but its good to keep in mind how the big boys earn the money so that you can plan things accordingly, as you need to show profit for your company for 4 years (this might vary country to country, but in Asia thats how it works, we know this as 2 of our companies are in line for getting listed in the stock exchange) plus many things and only then you can get listed, so you will need to start to plan things 3-4 years ahead before you can get listed.
 

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