Too scared to call her, wtf is wrong with me!?

[EN_VY]

Just do it. Now. If it happens it happens, if not them get over it. Stop stressing over it. I was in the same boat 2 years ago. I was very interested in this girl, and I felt she was too. We would talk everybday. I just never had the guts to take her on a real date, fearing that I would fail, or that we would date but wouldn't lead to anything long term and I would waste time (overthinking way too much).. Months passed, we lost contact, and I believe she has a BF now. I would always wonder "What if?". I would think about her almost every day (haha young sucker). I would regret not trying anything, buy now I'm happy I didn't, I'm focused on my childhood goal and nothing to distract me.

Point is, do it now. Don't waste time. There is life beyond this one person.

 

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[jon.a]

In my limited experience in life the things that I worried about the most turned out never to be as bad as I expected them to be.
Make the call.
After the first few seconds, it will be over or going smoothly.

jon

 

[Jonleehacker]

Practice. Call another girl, ask your sister to help you, hell your Mom. Tell her what's up and that you want to practice to get over your fear.

Anything you want to get better at, you have to practice, rehearse, whatever you call it. It's the reason pro golfers practice and Broadway performers, so you train your body to be able to feel the heavy duty emotions (which are normal) and still do what you need it to do (communicate).

Take anything hard and break it into steps, you can do it.

 

[100k]

how can I conquer this fear?

Grow a pair.

 

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[Toao]

So there's this girl I haven't seen for a year because of my stupidity, my fear of calling her. We've seen 5-6 times and I really liked her. We're not really friends though. Last time I saw her we kissed. You see months have passed, days pass by without seeing each other. I called 2 times despite my fear but I'm still shiting in my pants. I'm so afraid to pick up the damn phone.

Everytime I take the phone my heart rate is increasing like crazy and I fail to call her. This is so frustrating I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. We talk on facebook but that's it. I am disgusted with my behavior right now, how can I conquer this fear?

It's easy. Now get up catch the freaking phone and call her without thinking about it. There is nothing that can go wrong except to not call her ! When I visit again tomorrow I'll await an positive update :love2:

 

[rocksolid]

This is what would happen when I would tell my best friend about a girl I liked. He would say go ask her out. I would say well maybe, i'm kind of shy. He would say if you don't ask her out right now I am going to walk over to her and ask her out for a date for myself. It always pushed me to do it. The point is if you like her you better call her before some other dude beats you to it and then she is off the market. Who knows she may already be off the market.

 

[Chicago457]

Text her if your too scared too call. Don't be a pussy or care just do it lol

 

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[1PercentStreet]

Wait... is this real life?

 

[EN_VY]

OR you can just forget her and focus on business.

Love- Ain't nobody got time fo' dat!

 

[Eli]

Sounds like a bunch o' RSDers on here. Word...

Anywho, why are you putting so much value on a phone call? Its just a phone call bro. You will " win " or " lose ". EITHER WAY, how many females are on this planet. FRIGGIN BILLIONS. If you screw it up with her, big deal, there is another girl right around the corner.

I have spent the past 5 years becoming better socially, especially with women. The things that helped me out were to call up my buddies and just bs with them for a while, get the " golden mouthpiece of love " goin and then I would call. When I started doing that, it was much easier and things had a better flow.

I know there are all sorts of mental movies going on in your head, but you have to realize IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT WILL GO. Unless you like practice witchcraft or something. Be in the present and just shoot her a call.

 

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[kahem89]

Get laid, before I get here number. You don't want that.

Clock is ticking...

 

[GuestUser8117]

BTW - How old are you?

21 years old.

 

[theDarkness]

Sounds like a bunch o' RSDers on here. Word...

Anywho, why are you putting so much value on a phone call? Its just a phone call bro. You will " win " or " lose ". EITHER WAY, how many females are on this planet. FRIGGIN BILLIONS. If you screw it up with her, big deal, there is another girl right around the corner.

I have spent the past 5 years becoming better socially, especially with women. The things that helped me out were to call up my buddies and just bs with them for a while, get the " golden mouthpiece of love " goin and then I would call. When I started doing that, it was much easier and things had a better flow.

I know there are all sorts of mental movies going on in your head, but you have to realize IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT WILL GO. Unless you like practice witchcraft or something. Be in the present and just shoot her a call.

RSDer?

 

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[Lights]

RSDer?

I assume second definition

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rsd

which still doesn't make sense.

 

[Laverdure]

you are over thinking and this is because you don't have confidence about yourself or you think this girl isn't in your '' league''

One tips ... BE YOURSELF and stop thinking about what if what if .... or what should I say ... stop trying to be perfect you give her too much value ...

INSTEAD BE YOURSELF and if she doesn't like the real you than move on ... it might be hard because you don't want to be rejected ... it's a fear but you have to come through these emotion in order to become an ALPHA MALE.

just do it buddy!!!!

 

[FastNAwesome]

I assume second definition

Urban Dictionary: rsd

which still doesn't make sense.

It's geeks teaching geeks how to get laid, looks something like this:

[video=youtube;j72PZY_rzU4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j72PZY_rzU4[/video]

can be fun to watch

 

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[healthstatus]

The worst that can happen is she says she doesn't want to talk to you. You aren't talking to her now. So the ONLY things that can happen by you calling is that your situation stays the same, or she talks to you more. If she doesn't want to talk to you, then you get to move on.

edit: I have to go lie down, I can't believe I just responded to this....

 

[GuestUser8117]

The worst that can happen is she says she doesn't want to talk to you. You aren't talking to her now. So the ONLY things that can happen by you calling is that your situation stays the same, or she talks to you more. If she doesn't want to talk to you, then you get to move on.

edit: I have to go lie down, I can't believe I just responded to this....

Lol, I finally called her and ask her for a date. Bad news actually. She declined and she has a boyfriend. Godamn it!

 

[EN_VY]

See, all that stress and time wasted.. Use this as a lesson next time. You shall learn, the way I did young grasshopper. Lol

 

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[Ãœbertreffen]

On to the next one. It'll happen when you least expect it to.

 

[danoodle]

I assume second definition

Urban Dictionary: rsd

which still doesn't make sense.

RSD stands for Real Social Dynamics. The pickup world is fascinating. My current mindset and interest in personal development stems way back from an ebook I picked up in college called Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo (Eben Pagan). I bought many books in this realm and learned a lot about pickup. The reason it was great for me is that initially, you try these tactics and improve yourself to get women and get laid. It eventually transitioned into wanting a better life in general and getting into personal development (Steve Pavlina anyone? ) and eventually here at the fastlane forum. I would have never started the journey if it weren't for the pickup realm. I have many friends who also started down the pickup path which eventually evolved into personal development and enlightenment.

 

[The-J]

RSD stands for Real Social Dynamics. The pickup world is fascinating. My current mindset and interest in personal development stems way back from an ebook I picked up in college called Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo (Eben Pagan). I bought many books in this realm and learned a lot about pickup. The reason it was great for me is that initially, you try these tactics and improve yourself to get women and get laid. It eventually transitioned into wanting a better life in general and getting into personal development (Steve Pavlina anyone? ) and eventually here at the fastlane forum. I would have never started the journey if it weren't for the pickup realm. I have many friends who also started down the pickup path which eventually evolved into personal development and enlightenment.

At least you got something out of it.

The sad thing is, a lot of so-called 'pick-up artists' are total losers. Not with girls or with money, but mentally. They are extremely f*cked up in the head. (Pretty much referring to Mystery and Tyler Durden, RSD guy, here) They preach Eckhart Tolle's stuff like 'don't get attached to your ego' but they don't practice what they preach!

I dunno, I've found most of that PUA stuff is just dumb despite there being many gold nuggets hidden deep in those caves.

Anyway, Omerta, so the girl has a boyfriend. You last saw her a few months ago. Sounds like this girl wanted you then but you waited too long. Live and learn.

Although, there are two books I found amazing: The Book of Pook and 60. It's not just about women: it's about lifestyle and knowing why you want to get with women and what you expect to get out of it. It's applicable to the business world.

 

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[Toao]

Lol, I finally called her and ask her for a date. Bad news actually. She declined and she has a boyfriend. Godamn it!

Sorry to hear Pal. Anyhow now you know it. If you never tried you'd always think back on making a wrong decision. You told her you're way better than her bf ? ;-)

 

[socaldude]

Lol, I finally called her and ask her for a date. Bad news actually. She declined and she has a boyfriend. Godamn it!

I'm sorry to hear that bro. You waited WAY too long to tell her how you feel. And what happens when you do that? Some other guy will tell her how beautiful she is and he will take her out on dates and HE will rock her world.

Don't get me wrong bro. I completely understand where you are coming from. I have been there. Probably worse; Social Anxiety, shitty self esteem, horrible conversationalist, depression. I have been there.

Look on the bright side there are a shit load of beautiful women out there that will date you if you just take the initiative. MILLIONS of beautiful girls out there are JUST waiting for a nice gentlemen to come up to them and say HI! Not a day goes by when I go out to run errands where I see I beautiful woman, at the cafe, grocery store etc. Girls WANT you to approach them and say Hi and flirt with them. Why do you think they fix their hair and makeup?

Based on what I cant tell you need to be more CONFIDENT with women.

All change in your life starts with a change in beliefs, a change in mindset, a change in perspective, a change in interpretation of reality. Nobody said change would be easy. It took me FCKN forever to change my situation with women.

CONFIDENCE
1. Be direct with women, say it to their face how pretty they are and how you wanna take them out. Dont wait 1 year!
2. Think out loud. A lot of guys clam up around girls because they think that whatever comes out of their mouth is lame, stupid, boring, uninteresting etc. Not true, put a smile on your face and think out loud and you can talk to girls for HOURS.
3. Put your head up high and make eye contact.
4. You don't have to impress anybody.
5. Girls are just like you and me, the only difference is that you find them attractive. Girls are human beings not some goddess or alien creature.

 

[sal]

"Too scared" :smilielol:

 

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[Chicago457]

This makes me think about all the fast lane ideas that revolve around showing men how to get girls. P. S SOCALDUDE I like the way you type. Very convincing. Hmmmm $$$ Ideas popping in my head $$$

 

[GuestUser8117]

I'm sorry to hear that bro. You waited WAY too long to tell her how you feel. And what happens when you do that? Some other guy will tell her how beautiful she is and he will take her out on dates and HE will rock her world.

Don't get me wrong bro. I completely understand where you are coming from. I have been there. Probably worse; Social Anxiety, shitty self esteem, horrible conversationalist, depression. I have been there.

Look on the bright side there are a shit load of beautiful women out there that will date you if you just take the initiative. MILLIONS of beautiful girls out there are JUST waiting for a nice gentlemen to come up to them and say HI! Not a day goes by when I go out to run errands where I see I beautiful woman, at the cafe, grocery store etc. Girls WANT you to approach them and say Hi and flirt with them. Why do you think they fix their hair and makeup?

Based on what I cant tell you need to be more CONFIDENT with women.

All change in your life starts with a change in beliefs, a change in mindset, a change in perspective, a change in interpretation of reality. Nobody said change would be easy. It took me FCKN forever to change my situation with women.

CONFIDENCE
1. Be direct with women, say it to their face how pretty they are and how you wanna take them out. Dont wait 1 year!
2. Think out loud. A lot of guys clam up around girls because they think that whatever comes out of their mouth is lame, stupid, boring, uninteresting etc. Not true, put a smile on your face and think out loud and you can talk to girls for HOURS.
3. Put your head up high and make eye contact.
4. You don't have to impress anybody.
5. Girls are just like you and me, the only difference is that you find them attractive. Girls are human beings not some goddess or alien creature.

I know, I know. I waited way too long. F*ck me lol. I think I was/still am in love with that girl. Thanks for the advice bro.

 

[theDarkness]

CONFIDENCE
1. Be direct with women, say it to their face how pretty they are and how you wanna take them out. Dont wait 1 year!
2. Think out loud. A lot of guys clam up around girls because they think that whatever comes out of their mouth is lame, stupid, boring, uninteresting etc. Not true, put a smile on your face and think out loud and you can talk to girls for HOURS.
3. Put your head up high and make eye contact.
4. You don't have to impress anybody.
5. Girls are just like you and me, the only difference is that you find them attractive. Girls are human beings not some goddess or alien creature.

These are such excellent suggestions. I wish I could have printed them out and handed them to a few guys I knew back when. I think it would have solved their problems completely.

The guys I know that struggle with meeting women usually REALLY struggle with 5. They elevate pretty women to the level of demi-goddesses, flawless angels that were sent to earth to radiate warmth into their crappy existence. It's just not true, and I could never figure out how to get them to understand this. They're just humans . . . shitting, breathing humans. If you can talk to the mailman you can talk to a woman.

The funny thing is those guys were always way "cooler" than I ever was. I'm naturally soft-spoken, shy, not really much of a partier, nerdy. But there's no person--female or not, beautiful or not--that I think don't "deserve" to be talking to, and when I do say things I just say whatever I am thinking . . . generally because my brain doesn't process things quickly enough to say anything other than what I'm thinking. People appreciate that. It works.

I think my buddies would have fared much better if they had simply vowed to never approach another human as if that other human were "too good" for them to be within the presence of, or for them to be talking to. They psych themselves out by putting the other person in some unattainable hierarchy way beyond them. Drop the hierarchy and just talk to them. That alone would have made them so much happier.

 

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[Chicago457]

A couple weekends ago I was at a party Friday night left at 11 banged this sexy gogo dancer girl in my car. Then wen't back in and left with my x gf at 2 am slept with her. Than Saturday night slept with another girl. I'm a average looking dude. Maybe that will make you feel better. LOL I had a fun weekend. Oh and yes I did wrap it up. Like the good old saying....wear a latex so she doesn't get your pay checks. :coolgleamA:

Just be confidant and be kinda a dick enough that she laughs but not too much and kind of a sweet heart at the same time, don't ask me why but girls love that. Don't act like a friend act like her man. Just don't be scared. If you are persistent you will be successful like any business.

The way I look at things is would you rather regret not saying anything and missing the opportunity after or take a chance? Also the good girls who are girlfriend material get taken fast so don't wait too long. Go man up and be yourself and you got it bro

 

[TheTruth]

I think I was/still am in love with that girl. Thanks for the advice bro.

No you most definitively were not.

As you gain more experience (and I hope you do), you will learn how the exact sentence you just wrote is total bs.

You simply glorified 1 girl, that's it.

Approach 100 girls and tell us if you still feel the same way.


ACTUALLY.... If you approach 5 girls tmr I will send you $5 via paypal. No joking on my part. I won't know if you did it or not, but you would be the only one loosing if you lied to us about it.

So what are you going to do?