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Could someone tell me what is wrong with me?

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SiuLung

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Aug 13, 2019
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Hi everybody,

I'm 27. I have been lurking for the past few months, and I have been action faking ever since I've read both Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted. Reading business and mindset books make me feel good, but I never go beyond that.

To make it simple, I'm in a vicious circle of helplessness, and I can't seem to be able to get out of it. I might go all over the place in this post, so please excuse me.

There's been a positive change though: I finally understood what it takes to earn money. You have to create value by fulfilling needs and wants of other people, by helping them fulfilling those needs and wants. It is now engraved in my mind, and whenever I start telling myself that I have to make money quickly, I stop this thinking process and focus on how I could provide value.

The problem is that I can't find any topic in which I could provide value right now. Maybe I'm too hard on myself. I'm currently employed in a telecommunications company as a sales administrative assistant. The company is a virtual network enabler, allowing other companies to become mobile/internet network operators.
However, the only skills involved in my job are copy/pasting and the knowledge of the products and the industry. And I can't see how I could provide value, surely because of my state of helplessness. I tried to ask for training in order to gain technical knowledge, management did not accept my request.

I interviewed for a job in another company in a totally different market: modular construction for a very niche market. It's a small company (4 people, including the owner) and my role would be to design plans and make quotes for clients. I don't have any experience in this, not even in construction, but the owner is one of the few in my country that has knowledge in this niche, so he's willing (and also doesn't really have a choice it seems) to train the person who will be hired. I'm waiting for his answer right now.
Even though I would be very happy to be paid to learn everything I need to in order to become top notch in this niche, I'm also feeling down because my goal in life is to be financially free and I can't get the idea of owning my own business out of my head. It's haunting me.

Everytime I find something that I could work on, I find reasons and excuses not to. I have a few examples under my belt ; I thought of:

- Dropshipping UV sterilizers for toothbrushes and so on ; did not do it because I dislike dropshipping as a model
- Bringing japanese street food to my area ; did not do it because it requires my presence, and I already have a job. Plus, it would be expensive just to test the market
- Creating a platform based on the instragram API to connect influencers / theme pages with brands and ecommerce owners ; did not do it because it lacks control (IG could cut off their API any time)
- Creating a line of e-bikes / e-scooters bags made from cork leather ; figured it would be a good idea to tap into the green mindset but did not do it because I'm not a designer
- Creating bespoke stencils for sneakers ; there's a whole market for sneakers customization but did not do it because it required me to take measures for every size of sneaker models plus barrier of entry is too low

I have several other examples that I could list. Here are examples of needs I discovered:

- Teachers in my country don't necessarily learn pedagogy
- Teachers usually have to have a state diploma to teach, but the number of registrations for those state exams are declining. Vacant teaching positions are increasing, so schools are considering hiring teachers through other ways.
- The digital signage (digital out-of-home) market is booming but is mainly used by the biggest players/brands. Small business are not tapping this new way of marketing to people.

For every one of my ideas, I find excuses. For example, I wanted to start offering glass films and filters installation (UV filters, mirror films, etc...). I gathered all the information needed to put a powerful marketing message and plan together, but then I stopped because I thought there was no barrier of entry and that people wouldn't want the service of somebody who's not answering the phone during the week (as I have a job).

I have about 6K in savings. I try to save more, but my GF earns less than I do and I constantly have to put more money in for our common expenses because she's not good with money and she doesn't plan ahead for incoming bills.
I'm afraid to put any of those savings to work because I'm afraid of the risk of losing it.

I'm also petrified by the idea of wasting time. It's ironic because I'm already wasting time by doing nothing. But what if I choose a path and I'm not good at it? What if there's a bigger, more profitable opportunity that I cannot pursue because I'm busy with my first project?

Sometimes I tell myself, "F*ck it, I'm picking this field and going to learn everything there is to know about it and I'm going to become an expert and a mogul in it!". But I quickly set it aside, because the time required to achieve this is terrifying to me. I know it's impossible, but I want to make profits right now. I can't seem to overcome this false expectation.
I'm currently doing this with paper engineering / origami / compliant mechanisms: it's a fascinating subject and it could bring solutions to a lot of problems, but what if I'm not good at it? What if this is just a passion project and all I'm able to do is paper frogs?

Anyway, feel free to roast me, maybe that's what I need. I didn't want to come up as a whiny bitch, but I have to admit that's what I'm portraying right now. I just wanted to get those things off my chest, everyone around is telling me to be patient but I'm tired of not moving forward. And I'm aware that it's my own fault.
But I lie to myself, my lifestyle is unhealthy (no hobbies, no interests, I don't workout, I smoke, etc...) and I think I will be able to turn everything around the moment I'll have my eureka moment.

Maybe I'm not cut out to be an entrepreneur? Who knows, I don't even know what I want out of life at this point.

I just wanted to come clean with this community and myself.

SiuLung

P-S: Sorry for the long post.
 

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r6203

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But I lie to myself, my lifestyle is unhealthy (no hobbies, no interests, I don't workout, I smoke, etc...) and I think I will be able to turn everything around the moment I'll have my eureka moment.
Yeah, there is no "eureka" moment. At least not, if you're not actively creating it.

You're just stuck. So why don't you pick one thing (jogging, quit smoking, etc.) and make it a habit?

Apart from that, I would work for the construction guy to get a regular income and having a fixed day to day schedule. You can work on your ideas on the side.
 

thefreedomoption

New Contributor
Feb 5, 2020
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hey man i definitely can relate to struggling to take the first steps with a new idea. I believe your looking way to far down the road, I wouldn't worry to much if your idea doesn't fit all the 'cents' right away. just keep trying stuff .Find a way to make your first $100 outside of your job and go from their.

also, for not knowing what you want out of life that is a big problem because without knowing where you want to be you'll just kinda float around doing nothing endlessly.

I think the best solution would to be sit down for a few hours and create a vision for your future. what does 'the good life' look like to you. where are you living? what does your lifestyle look like? how much do you need to be making to achieve this lifestyle? what does your relationships look like? nice house, wifey and 3 kids? or living on a beach in thailand for 1000 a month? taking some time and asking yourself these deep questions will only benefit you.

writing down a clear vision of what you want your life to look like in 1-5 years is the first step.
then try breaking down this vision into goals. once you have goals written down break them down again into smaller milestones, keep breaking down these goals until you know what you need to do on a daily basis to get there
take action and keep trying your ideas until one of them sticks. If your idea is going to take years to come into fruition skip it for now.Find a way to get to your first sale as soon as possible and go from their.

also when you say maybe your not cut out to be a entrepreneur, that's a limiting belief. maybe your not cut out to be the next elon musk or jeff bezos,but i believe getting the good life through entrepreneurship is possible for almost anyone as long as they are equipped with the right mindset/beliefs/willpower.

your lucky enough to have found this forum and the books, 99% people go through life not knowing. now your aware and the blinders are off but your hesitant on what to do.

i'm not really in a position to give business advice on a forum like this since i'm broke aswell. But if i were you i'd take any one of those ideas you listed and break it down. figure out what actions need to be taken from start to finished product to first sale. make a list try putting it in order and work daily on the steps. Remember MJ said something along the line of ' just focus on the next step , not climbing the mountain'.

Goodluck man
 

Einfamilienhaus

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There's been a positive change though: I finally understood what it takes to earn money. You have to create value by fulfilling needs and wants of other people, by helping them fulfilling those needs and wants. It is now engraved in my mind, and whenever I start telling myself that I have to make money quickly, I stop this thinking process and focus on how I could provide value.
I'm sorry to tell you but you haven't understood it and this exactly your problem you have right now.

There are two ways of understanding:
1. Understanding that there is something which calls Pain
2. Feeling constantly the Pain

You just believe to understand how business works but you never had to prove it. Building an own business means being daily confronted with negative thoughts of given up, worrying, being confronted with bad customers... And they is nobody who will clap on shoulder and say well done.

But you also found an answer in your posting. You just want to feel good. Maybe having this great feeling of "Look at them and how they live and look at me and how much I know about being independent" Maybe you are looking more for the feeling of being superior towards others.

As long you dont change this attitude you will never start a business.
 

BizyDad

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Nothing is wrong with you. You just aren't the you that you want to be.

Yet.

So become the you that you need to be in order to live the life that you want to live.

You want to live this life now, or as soon as possible, and it doesn't sound like you're making progress towards becoming this person.

Walk your path.

You're afraid that there's a bigger idea out there. There is always a bigger idea out there.

Accept that.

Don't worry if you are risk averse. That's not a bad thing. Trust your gut.

Somebody might bring Japanese street food to your area. Don't be upset if they do. Be happy. But that isn't the right business for you.

Start moving forward an idea that seems big enough to interest you, but small enough that the you who you are now can handle.

As you overcome challenges, your confidence and skills will grow.

Get in shape, start improving yourself, so that you can become the kind of person that other people will want to follow. You'll need this if you're going to grow a big empire.

Keep your head up.

Hope this helps.
 
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OP
SiuLung

SiuLung

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Aug 13, 2019
24
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France
Yeah, there is no "eureka" moment. At least not, if you're not actively creating it.

You're just stuck. So why don't you pick one thing (jogging, quit smoking, etc.) and make it a habit?

Apart from that, I would work for the construction guy to get a regular income and having a fixed day to day schedule. You can work on your ideas on the side.
You're totally right, and I'm aware of that, but I can't detach myself from thinking that. I have to find a way to focus on building up my path, and not waiting for an eureka moment.
The construction guy just called me to announce me that I have the job! Great news, I'm looking forward to learn all those new things.

I believe your looking way to far down the road
You pinpointed one of my biggest problems. I focus on the big picture and then it seems unattainable, and then I do nothing.

also, for not knowing what you want out of life that is a big problem because without knowing where you want to be you'll just kinda float around doing nothing endlessly.

I think the best solution would to be sit down for a few hours and create a vision for your future. what does 'the good life' look like to you. where are you living? what does your lifestyle look like? how much do you need to be making to achieve this lifestyle? what does your relationships look like? nice house, wifey and 3 kids? or living on a beach in thailand for 1000 a month? taking some time and asking yourself these deep questions will only benefit you.

writing down a clear vision of what you want your life to look like in 1-5 years is the first step.
then try breaking down this vision into goals. once you have goals written down break them down again into smaller milestones, keep breaking down these goals until you know what you need to do on a daily basis to get there
take action and keep trying your ideas until one of them sticks. If your idea is going to take years to come into fruition skip it for now.Find a way to get to your first sale as soon as possible and go from their.
I guess I have a vision for my future life but I never bothered to put it down on paper with details or had the idea to break it down into smaller steps. I will try that.

I'm sorry to tell you but you haven't understood it and this exactly your problem you have right now.

There are two ways of understanding:
1. Understanding that there is something which calls Pain
2. Feeling constantly the Pain

You just believe to understand how business works but you never had to prove it. Building an own business means being daily confronted with negative thoughts of given up, worrying, being confronted with bad customers... And they is nobody who will clap on shoulder and say well done.

But you also found an answer in your posting. You just want to feel good. Maybe having this great feeling of "Look at them and how they live and look at me and how much I know about being independent" Maybe you are looking more for the feeling of being superior towards others.

As long you dont change this attitude you will never start a business.
I have never thought of it that way, but I guess you're onto something. It hurts but I think you're right, because when I see friends partying or going on vacation I tell myself that I'm better because I'm staying home to read F*cking useless self-help or business books that I don't use in real life and "saving" money to fund my future business.
Also, I'm the first one to give advice about things that I don't have real experience with.

What would be your advice to change this attitude and move forward in business?

Nothing is wrong with you. You just aren't the you that you want to be.

Yet.

So become the you that you need to be in order to live the life that you want to live.

You want to live this life now, or as soon as possible, and it doesn't sound like you're making progress towards becoming this person.

Walk your path.

You're afraid that there's a bigger idea out there. There is always a bigger idea out there.

Accept that.

Don't worry if you are risk averse. That's not a bad thing. Trust your gut.

Somebody might bring Japanese street food to your area. Don't be upset if they do. Be happy. But that isn't the right business for you.

Start moving forward an idea that seems big enough to interest you, but small enough that the you who you are now can handle.

As you overcome challenges, your confidence and skills will grow.

Get in shape, start improving yourself, so that you can become the kind of person that other people will want to follow. You'll need this if you're going to grow a big empire.

Keep your head up.

Hope this helps.
Thank you for your reply. You're right, I have to stop reaching for ideas that are too big for me at this moment. I have to stop wanting to be everything and anything at the same time, I have to make choices and make plans according to those choices. Thank you for the words of encouragement.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my post and for your feedbacks. It's greatly appreciated.
 

Benedict

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Nov 16, 2019
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If you need some outside motivation (which seems like you do) I'd offer to be your accountability partner for a trial period. Free of course.

We talk once or twice a week and you need to to present what your goals are and what you did achieve the day before.

This could get you going.
 

The-J

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What's wrong with you is that you're obsessing with what's wrong with you. A simple shift in focus from frustration to gratitude will go a long way.

Also, what you're experiencing is just part of the process. Solve one problem at a time.
 

Kevin88660

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Hi everybody,

I'm 27. I have been lurking for the past few months, and I have been action faking ever since I've read both Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted. Reading business and mindset books make me feel good, but I never go beyond that.

To make it simple, I'm in a vicious circle of helplessness, and I can't seem to be able to get out of it. I might go all over the place in this post, so please excuse me.

There's been a positive change though: I finally understood what it takes to earn money. You have to create value by fulfilling needs and wants of other people, by helping them fulfilling those needs and wants. It is now engraved in my mind, and whenever I start telling myself that I have to make money quickly, I stop this thinking process and focus on how I could provide value.

The problem is that I can't find any topic in which I could provide value right now. Maybe I'm too hard on myself. I'm currently employed in a telecommunications company as a sales administrative assistant. The company is a virtual network enabler, allowing other companies to become mobile/internet network operators.
However, the only skills involved in my job are copy/pasting and the knowledge of the products and the industry. And I can't see how I could provide value, surely because of my state of helplessness. I tried to ask for training in order to gain technical knowledge, management did not accept my request.

I interviewed for a job in another company in a totally different market: modular construction for a very niche market. It's a small company (4 people, including the owner) and my role would be to design plans and make quotes for clients. I don't have any experience in this, not even in construction, but the owner is one of the few in my country that has knowledge in this niche, so he's willing (and also doesn't really have a choice it seems) to train the person who will be hired. I'm waiting for his answer right now.
Even though I would be very happy to be paid to learn everything I need to in order to become top notch in this niche, I'm also feeling down because my goal in life is to be financially free and I can't get the idea of owning my own business out of my head. It's haunting me.

Everytime I find something that I could work on, I find reasons and excuses not to. I have a few examples under my belt ; I thought of:

- Dropshipping UV sterilizers for toothbrushes and so on ; did not do it because I dislike dropshipping as a model
- Bringing japanese street food to my area ; did not do it because it requires my presence, and I already have a job. Plus, it would be expensive just to test the market
- Creating a platform based on the instragram API to connect influencers / theme pages with brands and ecommerce owners ; did not do it because it lacks control (IG could cut off their API any time)
- Creating a line of e-bikes / e-scooters bags made from cork leather ; figured it would be a good idea to tap into the green mindset but did not do it because I'm not a designer
- Creating bespoke stencils for sneakers ; there's a whole market for sneakers customization but did not do it because it required me to take measures for every size of sneaker models plus barrier of entry is too low

I have several other examples that I could list. Here are examples of needs I discovered:

- Teachers in my country don't necessarily learn pedagogy
- Teachers usually have to have a state diploma to teach, but the number of registrations for those state exams are declining. Vacant teaching positions are increasing, so schools are considering hiring teachers through other ways.
- The digital signage (digital out-of-home) market is booming but is mainly used by the biggest players/brands. Small business are not tapping this new way of marketing to people.

For every one of my ideas, I find excuses. For example, I wanted to start offering glass films and filters installation (UV filters, mirror films, etc...). I gathered all the information needed to put a powerful marketing message and plan together, but then I stopped because I thought there was no barrier of entry and that people wouldn't want the service of somebody who's not answering the phone during the week (as I have a job).

I have about 6K in savings. I try to save more, but my GF earns less than I do and I constantly have to put more money in for our common expenses because she's not good with money and she doesn't plan ahead for incoming bills.
I'm afraid to put any of those savings to work because I'm afraid of the risk of losing it.

I'm also petrified by the idea of wasting time. It's ironic because I'm already wasting time by doing nothing. But what if I choose a path and I'm not good at it? What if there's a bigger, more profitable opportunity that I cannot pursue because I'm busy with my first project?

Sometimes I tell myself, "F*ck it, I'm picking this field and going to learn everything there is to know about it and I'm going to become an expert and a mogul in it!". But I quickly set it aside, because the time required to achieve this is terrifying to me. I know it's impossible, but I want to make profits right now. I can't seem to overcome this false expectation.
I'm currently doing this with paper engineering / origami / compliant mechanisms: it's a fascinating subject and it could bring solutions to a lot of problems, but what if I'm not good at it? What if this is just a passion project and all I'm able to do is paper frogs?

Anyway, feel free to roast me, maybe that's what I need. I didn't want to come up as a whiny bitch, but I have to admit that's what I'm portraying right now. I just wanted to get those things off my chest, everyone around is telling me to be patient but I'm tired of not moving forward. And I'm aware that it's my own fault.
But I lie to myself, my lifestyle is unhealthy (no hobbies, no interests, I don't workout, I smoke, etc...) and I think I will be able to turn everything around the moment I'll have my eureka moment.

Maybe I'm not cut out to be an entrepreneur? Who knows, I don't even know what I want out of life at this point.

I just wanted to come clean with this community and myself.

SiuLung

P-S: Sorry for the long post.
Being a disciple in the modular construction business sounds good if you get the offer. If I were you I will follow up for that job. As you said it is an niche where only a few people in your country has the experience. That sounds like a good entry barrier in a niche. You are being paid to learn how to run a business in a small company. After you gain the experience you can work with your boss to have more business like arrangement-you help him expand the business for equity stakes and profit sharing.

I think the most important decision in business is not when you quit your job and start your own business. It is choosing a good industry and grind for the next 5-10 years. A good industry is anything that has consistent and fairly big market demand: construction, F and B, finance, education, wedding/funeral..

Once you decide that this is the industry you want to grind for the next 5-10 years, it is okay to start as an employee.

If you really observe the successful business people around you they have in the same space for a long time.
 
OP
OP
SiuLung

SiuLung

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Aug 13, 2019
24
52
23
France
If you need some outside motivation (which seems like you do) I'd offer to be your accountability partner for a trial period. Free of course.

We talk once or twice a week and you need to to present what your goals are and what you did achieve the day before.

This could get you going.
I don't know if outside motivation is really what I need, I would think that money, freedom and the ability to provide for the people I care about would be enough outside motivation.
What I really need is to change my mindset and get clarity. Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather create an execution thread.

What's wrong with you is that you're obsessing with what's wrong with you. A simple shift in focus from frustration to gratitude will go a long way.

Also, what you're experiencing is just part of the process. Solve one problem at a time.

You're right, I'm obsessing. But when I'm not obsessing I feel like I'm wasting my time, but I guess this is counter-productive to my progress.
I'll implement some gratitude routine into my daily habits. I guess I have to solve the problems that are inwards before trying to solve problems that are out there.

Thank you both for your feedback.
 
Last edited:
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SiuLung

SiuLung

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Aug 13, 2019
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France
Being a disciple in the modular construction business sounds good if you get the offer. If I were you I will follow up for that job. As you said it is an niche where only a few people in your country has the experience. That sounds like a good entry barrier in a niche. You are being paid to learn how to run a business in a small company. After you gain the experience you can work with your boss to have more business like arrangement-you help him expand the business for equity stakes and profit sharing.

I think the most important decision in business is not when you quit your job and start your own business. It is choosing a good industry and grind for the next 5-10 years. A good industry is anything that has consistent and fairly big market demand: construction, F and B, finance, education, wedding/funeral..

Once you decide that this is the industry you want to grind for the next 5-10 years, it is okay to start as an employee.

If you really observe the successful business people around you they have in the same space for a long time.
I did accept the job, I figured my time would be at a better use there than at the company I'm currently working for. I'm really excited to be a part of this small company.

I like your point of view, I just have to be patient, accumulate this new knowledge and then put it to a good use, figuring things along the way.

Patience is not my main quality but if it's necessary, I'll learn. Thank your for your feedback.
 

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Jack Hammer

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Here's my advice. Come up with a small goal that you think you can achieve in a month or so. Then, make a to-do list of discrete actions needed to achieve that goal. Then, focus on one item at a time and relish in the joy of crossing each item of the list. Keep grinding away until you've achieved the goal and be sure to celebrate when you do.

It doesn't matter what exactly the goal is. It probably won't be the thing that makes you millions of dollars. The purpose of this exercise is to convince yourself that you can focus your mind on something and achieve it. Perhaps it can be a validation of your Japanese street food idea. That seems doable with a cheap table, a portable generator, and a few ovens. Or perhaps you can make a prototype for your cork bag idea. Whatever it is, whenever you have doubts (e.g. "barrier to entry is too low", "I'm not a skilled designer", "I need to be more flexible and pivot", etc), push them out and keep working because you can worry about those things later. The focus of this exercise is galvanizing your mind to achieving something that you set out to do.

It'll likely take longer than you expect. That's fine. Just keep plugging away. The only reason you're allowed to change the goal is if you discover part-way through that it's literally impossible for some unforeseen reason. You can change the to-do list as you get into the process and learn what's necessary and what's not.

There's a secondary goal in this too. As you go through the process, pay attention to various obstacles you encounter because these obstacles are potential future opportunities to solve pain points. In fact, you should hope for surmountable obstacles. After you finish the exercise, you may end up going in a completely different direction because of what you have learned.
 

Benedict

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I don't know if outside motivation is really what I need, I would think that money, freedom and the ability to provide for the people I care about would be enough outside motivation.
What I really need is to change my mindset and get clarity. Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather create an execution thread.

There is a difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation:

Intrinsic:
Something inside you motivates you: A feeling, a desire, you "willpower" (if there is something like that), your wish to be congruent with your idea of yourself, a vision, a dream, also your wish for money, freedom and the wish to provide for the people you care most. Your will to learn, to joy of working hard on a project,

Extrinsic:

Something outside motivates you: If you don't study for your exams, you'll fail, if you don't earn money to pay the rent then someone will kick you out of your apartment and you will live outside on the street, if you don't get up in the morning and be a f*cking lazy a$$ bitch then your girlfriend will leave you and take someone elses long dong for a ride (maybe a Ford Mustang). If you fail earning money your friends will think you are a looser. If you earn lots of money, your friends will think you are the second Elon Musk. If you don't show up at a meeting you will get shamed and blamed.

You get the point, right?

For me it seems like you try intrinsic motivation ("I wanna be an entrepreneur") but what really concerns you and got you writing this post is extrinsic motivation (I get older (time) and don't achieve anything. We don't earn enough money I need to change something.)


By the way: There is nothing wrong or right with either of the motivation styles. It is just about...

knowing how you personally are motivated best and using the strategy to get you moving.

It's about knowing your triggers and using the most influential ones on purpose so you get the biggest effect for your desired outcome.
 
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SiuLung

SiuLung

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Here's my advice. Come up with a small goal that you think you can achieve in a month or so. Then, make a to-do list of discrete actions needed to achieve that goal. Then, focus on one item at a time and relish in the joy of crossing each item of the list. Keep grinding away until you've achieved the goal and be sure to celebrate when you do.

It doesn't matter what exactly the goal is. It probably won't be the thing that makes you millions of dollars. The purpose of this exercise is to convince yourself that you can focus your mind on something and achieve it. Perhaps it can be a validation of your Japanese street food idea. That seems doable with a cheap table, a portable generator, and a few ovens. Or perhaps you can make a prototype for your cork bag idea. Whatever it is, whenever you have doubts (e.g. "barrier to entry is too low", "I'm not a skilled designer", "I need to be more flexible and pivot", etc), push them out and keep working because you can worry about those things later. The focus of this exercise is galvanizing your mind to achieving something that you set out to do.

It'll likely take longer than you expect. That's fine. Just keep plugging away. The only reason you're allowed to change the goal is if you discover part-way through that it's literally impossible for some unforeseen reason. You can change the to-do list as you get into the process and learn what's necessary and what's not.

There's a secondary goal in this too. As you go through the process, pay attention to various obstacles you encounter because these obstacles are potential future opportunities to solve pain points. In fact, you should hope for surmountable obstacles. After you finish the exercise, you may end up going in a completely different direction because of what you have learned.
There is a difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation:

Intrinsic:
Something inside you motivates you: A feeling, a desire, you "willpower" (if there is something like that), your wish to be congruent with your idea of yourself, a vision, a dream, also your wish for money, freedom and the wish to provide for the people you care most. Your will to learn, to joy of working hard on a project,

Extrinsic:
Something outside motivates you: If you don't study for your exams, you'll fail, if you don't earn money to pay the rent then someone will kick you out of your apartment and you will live outside on the street, if you don't get up in the morning and be a f*cking lazy a$$ bitch then your girlfriend will leave you and take someone elses long dong for a ride (maybe a Ford Mustang). If you fail earning money your friends will think you are a looser. If you earn lots of money, your friends will think you are the second Elon Musk. If you don't show up at a meeting you will get shamed and blamed.

You get the point, right?

For me it seems like you try intrinsic motivation ("I wanna be an entrepreneur") but what really concerns you and got you writing this post is extrinsic motivation (I get older (time) and don't achieve anything. We don't earn enough money I need to change something.)


By the way: There is nothing wrong or right with either of the motivation styles. It is just about...

knowing how you personally are motivated best and using the strategy to get you moving.

It's about knowing your triggers and using the most influential ones on purpose so you get the biggest effect for your desired outcome.
Thank you both for your helpful insights. Time to reflect on what to do next.
 

Cancakir

New Contributor
Mar 20, 2019
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I feel you, best thing imo would be to plug off and relax a few days.
You dont have to have experience in a field, you'll learn as you go and get help as you go.
Well I dont have much credibility to give you solid advice because I am starting out as well, so maybe listen to the OGs here :)
 

Aussie Dan

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Nothing is wrong with you. You just aren't the you that you want to be.

Yet.

So become the you that you need to be in order to live the life that you want to live.

You want to live this life now, or as soon as possible, and it doesn't sound like you're making progress towards becoming this person.

Walk your path.

You're afraid that there's a bigger idea out there. There is always a bigger idea out there.

Accept that.

Don't worry if you are risk averse. That's not a bad thing. Trust your gut.

Somebody might bring Japanese street food to your area. Don't be upset if they do. Be happy. But that isn't the right business for you.

Start moving forward an idea that seems big enough to interest you, but small enough that the you who you are now can handle.

As you overcome challenges, your confidence and skills will grow.

Get in shape, start improving yourself, so that you can become the kind of person that other people will want to follow. You'll need this if you're going to grow a big empire.

Keep your head up.

Hope this helps.
This is GOLD advice!
 
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SiuLung

SiuLung

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Aug 13, 2019
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I'm going to step back from thinking about becoming an entrepreneur and making money. I've been focusing too much on these two things when the first is just a status and the second an end I've been chasing after.

I just finished reading "This Is the Answer: Advice for New Entrepreneurs from the World's Worst Business Coach" from Dan Norris and man, that was eye-opening. I recommend it to anybody who's lost.

I realized I was doing the wrong things and that my thinking was flawed. I used to be independent, I used to be the kind of guy to pursue an interest just because I wanted to, and not because somebody told me to do so. Somewhere along the line I lost my drive to create things and try things that pick my interest.

I was too caught up in all the entrepreneurship whirlwind online with all its gurus and everything that I lost sight of what matters most: creating things to solve problems, fulfill needs and wants. Yes of course, the overall goal should be to make money, but I have to stop looking for the validation of other people on what to pursue or not. I was status chasing.

When I was younger, I was building all sorts of projects to satisfy my curiosity. I stopped doing that at some point.

I have new goals:

- Find problems that other people are experiencing and that I have an interest in solving
- Try to solve them as best as I can
- Put my solution in front of people who experience said problems and then see if they are willing, one way or another, to give me money to use it

I'm done reading entrepreneurship books for now. I'll only read stuff related to different industries to feed my brain. I used to be annoyed when people were complaining about things around me. I now realize this is what I'm looking for. I'll start figuring things out step by step once I'll start a project.
 

peterb0yd

Bronze Contributor
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Dec 30, 2019
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I relate to this as well. When I think of a new business idea, I instantly think of all the steps needed to get to the first sale.

The list is usually long and overwhelming. Once the excitement wears off, practicality steps in and I immediately come up with reasons why I shouldn't even start on it.

It's happened a few times, which is how I've learned my lesson.

The solution for me has been to build a service business based around what I am already good at (or can get really good at with some online training course). The steps to get started are much easier this way. I've done this for web development and am now doing it again for a more specialized software service.

Once you've got a few clients, now you've got a business. Now you can find ways to scale to reduce the time-for-income exchange.

Start as a freelancer, grow into an entrepreneur. Baby step your way into it. No need to jump into the deep end right at the start. That makes for great reading but rarely works. In TMF, DJ mentions that he started by working for the limo company first, then took baby steps to build his product.

Need something more specific? You're in sales my man. You have the best skill on the planet for helping businesses to grow!

Find a way to help other companies with their sales. This will teach you so much about building a pipeline on your own. Think of who you could help and reach out to a few of them on LinkedIn or via email. Why should they want to hire you? What will you do to help them get from A to B?

If you really don't want to start your own business, there is no shame in dropping it altogether and finding another way to be happy or feel productive. Better to make a decision and stick to it and stop pulling yourself in two different directions. That's why you're feeling awful about this.

Either way, best of luck.
 
Last edited:

Andy Black

Dad, husband, entrepreneur.
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1) Your goal isn't to "learn" more, it's to add value and get paid. Go help someone, even if you don't get paid. Get into the helping people habit and then start seeing patterns and then figure out how to get paid helping people.

2) You're overthinking things. Pick a direction, get started, keep going. ("Keep going" doesn't mean in exactly the same direction btw. It just means keep chipping away.)
 

Jon L

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Those various problems you point out with your ideas for businesses you could run? Most of them aren't real. There are tons of people out there that have been successful in every business you mention. Crowded marketplace? No issue. Violate the commandment of control? Not a problem. I know a guy that sells dirt by the cubic foot, and makes a good living off of it. That about as basic an idea as you could hope to find, and yet, he makes it work. Same thing for plumbers, carpenters, electricians, programmers, etc etc etc.

Pick something, break it down into steps that *you* could accomplish, and get to it. When you're *doing* the work, think of ways to improve things. You're trying to do that before you start. That won't get you anywhere.
 

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Andy Black

Dad, husband, entrepreneur.
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When you're *doing* the work, think of ways to improve things. You're trying to do that before you start. That won't get you anywhere.
Exactly. "You can't steer a parked car." (James Schramko)
 
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SiuLung

SiuLung

Contributor
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Aug 13, 2019
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Wow, I didn't expect to have this much support, this is awesome.

I've been lurking for a long time but until now I didn't realize how healthy and supportive that little corner of the internet was.

I'm so grateful I found you all.

I'm not giving up at all.

I'm going to take some time to get out of my head, and I'll come back and bring value too. Time to stop piggybacking and start giving.
 

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