The science of making habits stick

[ChrisV]

Because if I don't make it a regular habit I'll keep procrastinating on it forever, like other things that I know are good for me and get me close to my goals. I'd paint something like three times a year like I've been doing the last decade.

Unless I'm not fully understanding what you mean. I mean... why do you brush your teeth in the morning? Keep in mind you're talking to someone who is willing to skip dinner when cooking seems too big of a task. ._.

Procrastination is usually related to ADHD and dopamine (saw your post in Bekit's thread.)

I think you'll find a solution to this here:

HOT! - MINDSET - Dopamine. The missing piece of the success puzzle. (Improve Locus of Control, Motivation, Self-control)

Okay, we’re going to get into some deep and really cool stuff here. I bounced back and forth for almost a year on this forum as to whether I even wanted to post about this, since I’m planning on saving the materials for a book. But the more I think about it I think it's such an essential thread...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[ChrisV]

[...] the reward isn't strong enough for my brain to get into the cycle it seems. I can't find an effective enough reward if that makes sense...

Yep. I covered that in the thread too:

Certain people need bigger rewards than others, and from everything you've said it sounds like you fit into that category (where he shows the red line.) Note: this can also be related to depression.

Also note the series is about addiction, but it's also related biologically to what you're saying.

 

[srodrigo]

I would question this whole premise. It seems you are in love with the idea of being a painter rather than being a painter.

From the artists I know (both amateur and professional) they don’t need to create a habit to paint, they paint because they have to. It is an urge they simply can’t resist. It would appear to be the opposite with you. If you had such an urge you wouldn’t need to look at habit formation and the trigger reward relationships in order to fulfil that need. You would just do it.

I love to read, to learn new things to spend time in nature. I do these on a daily basis because I can’t help myself. On the other hand I would love to be a great guitar player but I haven’t picked up my guitar in months. That to me says that I’m in love with the idea rather than the accomplishment.

+100

In case this helps from a former musician:

I played the piano since I was a kid, and took lessons since 12. It was tough to go to school and uni and also have to practice, but I just couldn't stop playing. It was a need, not an obligation; the obligation was more to pull myself from the keyboard sometimes.

Now I'm *trying* to improve my pixel art. Partially because I always liked drawings and video games so it fits perfectly, and partially because it could be useful for making games itself (theoretically fastlane). But I suffer from the same problems as you do now. I think it's just because I can't not do it, as it happened with music in my youth.

BTW I progressively stopped playing the piano when it became a hobby again and not something to make a career from (or maybe when I became obsessed with coding). If someone had told me 20 years ago that I would stop playing, I would have laughed at them. But even things you genuinely love can fade away over time, and that's fine, we all evolve.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Hobbies are for enjoyment, not for getting stressed. If they don't become a habit by themselves, they aren't that important for us.

 

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[MakeItHappen]

I’ve tried. I don’t give a crap. And I don’t say that with pride is what my brain does. That’s why I don’t tell friends or look for masterminds anymore. I just don’t check in. It’s pretty bad. :/

I need some sort of GIANT fire on my a$$ to actually kick into gear. Then I get the shit done.

How much money have you lost till now?

Accountability combined with money that I lose if I don't do X works great. Of course it should be enough money to make you feel uncomfortable when you lose it.

Even though it works for me I don't think it's a very good long term strategy imo.

The best way for me to stick to habits is to make them super small to the point that I don't feel any resistance to do them on most days.
The trick for me is to stick to this super small habit without making the habit harder/longer to soon.

For me 2 minutes is a time I can do pretty much anything without feeling resistance. 5 minutes is to long to being with for me. But for you it might by 1 minute or 30 seconds.

 

[BellaPippin]

How much money have you lost till now?

Accountability combined with money that I lose if I don't do X works great. Of course it should be enough money to make you feel uncomfortable when you lose it.

Even though it works for me I don't think it's a very good long term strategy imo.

The best way for me to stick to habits is to make them super small to the point that I don't feel any resistance to do them on most days.
The trick for me is to stick to this super small habit without making the habit harder/longer to soon.

For me 2 minutes is a time I can do pretty much anything without feeling resistance. 5 minutes is to long to being with for me. But for you it might by 1 minute or 30 seconds.

Well the thing is, you probably would go through with the punishment, I wouldn't. I'd go "meh".

I would probably put myself in a vulnerable position because after several involuntary moves I burned 80% of my savings, further loss, albeit maybe actually setting my a$$ on fire, might also hurt my mental health even further. I'm kinda scared of that. I've had quite some bad weeks lately.

But I do agree that to keep breaking the task to even smaller chunks no matter how ridiculously short it gets could be a start if I'm patient enough.

This weekend I'm working on setting the house in order. I'll make a plan. Structure what I want to do. My "recording" setup is pretty much all good so all I have to do now is sit, record as I do something, and upload. I have to start treating all this as my second job.

 

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[jukido]

I need some sort of GIANT fire on my a$$ to actually kick into gear. Then I get the shit done.

Same here... have you seen this?

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU

 

[foodiepersecond]

Ever thought about live streaming to Twitch while you do your art? Depending on your comfort, I think having an audience and fan base can be inspiring.

 

[BellaPippin]

I heard someone talk about art, specifically playing music or dancing as an act that is not about the ending, but rather the journey.

How I mean this in relation to your situation is that you don't seem to be looking at painting to be something you want to do for the sake of painting, like an artist would. You seem to be more concerned about the out come rather than the act of doing it.

Is that right? Is that why you stress about what to paint?

Art to me seems like something you do in the present moment. I'm not a painter, but I've made lots of things, and the best things were made in the present moment with no clear idea on how they would turn out.

If you want to make it a habit, I would put paint brushes all over your home and make it a habit to pick up a paint brush and paint a line on a piece of paper or something.

This would develop the physical habit of picking up a brush and putting some paint on something.

The second you do that, you are painting and you've achieved your goal.

Craft your environment so you are constantly presented with the oppot to put paint on something and you should have no problem.

Making art is more about the process of making art than the event of the final piece.

Amen... it is 100% about how I feel while I'm painting. Part of it is probably to push through the discomfort knowing I won't like what I paint for a long time and just love the 2 hours of joy I got. My planner is full of doodles, the real struggle start when sitting to make something "serious".

I'm going to bring some supplies to the living room, I love that idea. Thanks man.

 

[Kid]

If You, for a moment, would not take what will be written below as a de-motivation to paint, then i'll write it as i think it (otherwise please don't read it).

Why the heck you need the habits?!

I mean, who sold you on idea that you need habits?

Maybe all you need is... to paint.

 

[Kid]

You understood correctly.

There is a saying that "forever" means "very long time". Since procrastination is what you don't want, i'd suggest you to try to feel how'd you feel if it were too late for you.
Like, how would it feel if you were 88 and regret that you haven't painted all the paintings that you know you can paint.
That would be awful feeling.

You might also recall the moments when you were painting and bring back good feelings of that experience.
Now.Maybe you don't have opportunity to paint every day.
But maybe you could paint four times a year... Or maybe five times a year. You also might to learn to grab a paintbrush sixth time this year.
And before you'd realise you would have your habit of painting.

 

[ChrisV]

Hi all, looking for some support as usual... I figured a lot of you have read/heard and looked into how it works to develop/break habits, from a scientific perspective. I've read the "The Power of Habit" and some other texts related to it.

So, I want to paint, right? I want to be a painter. Feels like my whole self wants to paint. I have an urge to paint. But I can't make it a habit. Not sure if because of insecurities, perfectionism, clinical depression messing with my motivation/discipline even though I know I love to paint. Most I've accomplished when I'm not guided by a weekly class is sit down and maybe sketch my hand since I get paralysis by analysis on what is the right thing to draw, take all the tubes out, etc etc. Too much thinking.

I invite you to read this text (first answer) because it might be helpful to you too, and then, from this Forbes Article this part where the structure of a habit is described as follows:

1. The Cue or Trigger: This is the part of the habit loop where you are triggered to take some sort of action through a cue in your internal or external environment.
   
   
2. The Action: Good or bad, this is the part of the habit loop where you actually take action on the habit you want to adopt or drop.
   
   
3. The Reward: This is the part of the habit loop where your brain receives a reward for taking the desired activity.

I understand the first two but I'm struggling with #3. Can you help me brainstorm of a reward to set for say, making a small piece of art? Because as the Forbes article explains, the habits we want to change release dopamine (the instant gratification). So say, treating myself to a purchase or something sweet won't do that (Ok maybe purchasing more art supplies...but at this point I have everything I need plus I'm trying to save money). I don't watch tv so that won't do. I like videogames but that won't do. It's hard because I deal with MDD so liking something doesn't necessarily mean I'll get that dopamine high that my brain will "get addicted to". Exercise releases dopamine but I don't see it as a reward to "get to go to workout". The paint piece itself won't "be" a reward because I'm a beginner so I more often than not don't like the outcome, I gotta go thru that to get better.

I know this is silly but what are some things that give you that "dopamine high"? I'm brainstorming trying to think of something and I'm at a loss.

~B

you have the best username ever. i feel like you should have your own monopoly™ character

 

[Mattie]

Looping tends to be from your emotional triggers in the subconscious mind from traumatic events in relationships in various forms.
It’s true the amygdala and limbic system is related to the emotional center and the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. Dopamine is the highway to all addictions.
Usually when you’re in emotional and mental pain most people want to escape their body and reality. Often, the first thing anyone wants to do is release that emotional pain by some vice they’ve chosen.
You’ve conditioned yourself to have an emotional reaction to certain sounds, smells, taste, touch, and sight in your environment.
Virtual reality therapy helped me back in 2010-2013, and universities are tapping into this the last few years. A lot of it has to do with eye rapid movement therapy, also sound therapy, and it’s really taking one step at a time and fear exposure.
In 2014-2015, I had Millionaire Fastlane Therapy, as an INFJ, and of course, you can’t get any more skittish than an INFJ and facing a bunch of Entrepreneurs.
Really fear exposure is placing yourself in environments where you you’re purposely emotionally triggering yourself to get over your deepest fears.
Every time you get emotionally triggered, those deepest fears come up, and you either withdraw into your shell or you stay out and face your giants.
When your looping in your memory, you’re like a broken record. A false belief, giving yourself some kind of false feedback about your capabilities in your internal dialogue to self.
I even listened to Dan Pena Video’s to purposely emotionally trigger me, so I wouldn’t react in a negative way.
You really, must make a choice to get over your deepest fears.
Back in 2010, the person I worked with as well taught me NLP, and if you work with someone who constantly reminds you to stay in the now, you create a habit of diverting your attention to right now.
If you’re thinking about the past and not focused right now on the present, and not executing in painting or whatever project in front of you, it’s where you have to practice diverting your attention and focus to what your doing. This takes practice every day, it can’t be learned by reading things, it’s focusing your mind and tuning into what is in front of you and not allowing yourself to get stuck in fear.
It’s not something I did in a week, a month, and it took me about a year until I started making it a natural habit.
Visualization or Mental Rehearsing works as well. Seeing yourself taking action, painting, and the more you do this, you naturally train your brain to take action instead of reverting back to the negative self-talk which says, “I can’t do this.”
This is more of a process you go through versus instant gratification and instant overnight success.
Writing every day as well in a journal, blog, forum, wherever, helps you structure your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. The more you write, the more your thoughts become clearer. The more your communication skills improve. When you’re writing, this is your thoughts. Whenever you’re doing any art form or medium, the focus is on training your mind to be focused, paying attention to details, and when you’re doing art therapy or music therapy, it’s really expressing your emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
I see writing as dumping out all your garbage out of the subconscious mind and really eventually your run out of garbage, and then you don’t know what to write anymore.
Perfectionism usually means your being critical with self, beating yourself up, and expecting yourself to be perfect. Perhaps fault finding, nagging, and being your worst enemy. This is where you have to change your dialogue with yourself. How you communicate with yourself, means success or failure.
This is all about how you speak to yourself, how you speak to others. And of course, you usually argue with other people, because you don’ t like negative feedback.
This is changing your perception of the other person. Understanding other people are not the Villain in your experience. Perhaps they say mean things, but it’s really not about you, but their own emotional wounds.
Understand what belongs to you and what belongs to them. Practice being the observer and non-attachment to what other people say.
If you want to be creative, it’s surrounding yourself with creative ideas, there everywhere online if you look.
When I write, I don’t think about it, I just do it. If I don’t feel like writing, I write anyway. I love diversity. I write non-fiction, novel, short-story, and poetry. There’s more than one way to paint as well.
One of the things I also learned, is you don’t need a reward for what you do. It’s more about doing something because you really enjoy doing it, and even something you enjoy, there’s days you don’t enjoy doing it.
I don’t like learning everything I have to learn to succeed, but I do it because I have too, to succeed. And it comes down to the question, “How bad do you want to succeed.” And what I learned the last year, it doesn’t matter what I feel, what I want, what I desire, or what I need. It’s about succeeding period.
There are no excuses. And sure, we can make up every excuse in the book, but sometimes you do just have to do it no matter what life looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes life, our sounds like. That sounds tough, but that is the way the world is in the real world. It’s tough, and you have to be tough yourself to succeed and thrive.

 

[Mattie]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfimAUXUsVM

 

[BellaPippin]

DAMN GUYS I MISSED ALL THE COMMENTS FROM JULY ONWARDS, I'm so sorry! I didn't even see the red bell, wtf?

I will read everything and reply.

 

[BellaPippin]

Problem 1.
The blocked artist or writer needs a challenge to surge past boredom and into the work, but also a sensory feedback loop to switch on the work, switch back to the diurnal self - then back into creative flow.

In other words, something in the environment or work conditions has to stimulate the senses to keep the Creatives arousal level high enough to keep focused.

It's easy to feed the sensory loop when you're in a stimulating situation, like art class, or a sunny mountainside patio over a waterfall, or in extreme stillness, or drinking, or macerating watermelon gummy bears while listening to Rachel Maddow.

Problem 2.
The skill level must be equal to the demands of the task. If not, the doer feel boredom (task too easy) or frustration and fear (task too hard.)
The suggestions to experience creative work as an ongoing process gives one the power to adjust skill level and task levels.

I can relate to this. #1 has historically been music for me. A particular song that I discover develops imagery in my mind. I put it on replay and squeeze it until it doesn't have that effect anymore lol. That's the sensory stimuli. I haven't discovered songs with that effect in quite a while. I see things in everyday life that I'd like to paint too, I visualize them as pieces.

Going to class does help which is why I'm taking classes towards a certificate, and all are painting classes. Feedback from people who actually know is really helpful as well. I came out with some really useful tips from my last class.

#2 is usually frustration and fear. The imagery that comes to my mind I can't make justice with my current skills, so my subconscious prefers to procrastinate, is scared of wasting the supplies and the time, "whats the point". Again my last instructor was very insightful on these issues, but I'm not "cured". I've gained a few useful tools though.

Ty!

you have the best username ever. i feel like you should have your own monopoly™ character

Haha thanks, I love Monopoly!! Speaking of distraction and procrastination now instead of working I'm imagining what my token would look like.

Often, the first thing anyone wants to do is release that emotional pain by some vice they’ve chosen.

In 2014-2015, I had Millionaire Fastlane Therapy, as an INFJ, and of course, you can’t get any more skittish than an INFJ and facing a bunch of Entrepreneurs.
Really fear exposure is placing yourself in environments where you you’re purposely emotionally triggering yourself to get over your deepest fears.
Every time you get emotionally triggered, those deepest fears come up, and you either withdraw into your shell or you stay out and face your giants.
When your looping in your memory, you’re like a broken record. A false belief, giving yourself some kind of false feedback about your capabilities in your internal dialogue to self.
I even listened to Dan Pena Video’s to purposely emotionally trigger me, so I wouldn’t react in a negative way.
You really, must make a choice to get over your deepest fears.
Back in 2010, the person I worked with as well taught me NLP, and if you work with someone who constantly reminds you to stay in the now, you create a habit of diverting your attention to right now.
If you’re thinking about the past and not focused right now on the present, and not executing in painting or whatever project in front of you, it’s where you have to practice diverting your attention and focus to what your doing. This takes practice every day, it can’t be learned by reading things, it’s focusing your mind and tuning into what is in front of you and not allowing yourself to get stuck in fear.
It’s not something I did in a week, a month, and it took me about a year until I started making it a natural habit.
Visualization or Mental Rehearsing works as well. Seeing yourself taking action, painting, and the more you do this, you naturally train your brain to take action instead of reverting back to the negative self-talk which says, “I can’t do this.”
This is more of a process you go through versus instant gratification and instant overnight success.
Writing every day as well in a journal, blog, forum, wherever, helps you structure your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. The more you write, the more your thoughts become clearer. The more your communication skills improve. When you’re writing, this is your thoughts. Whenever you’re doing any art form or medium, the focus is on training your mind to be focused, paying attention to details, and when you’re doing art therapy or music therapy, it’s really expressing your emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
I see writing as dumping out all your garbage out of the subconscious mind and really eventually your run out of garbage, and then you don’t know what to write anymore.
Perfectionism usually means your being critical with self, beating yourself up, and expecting yourself to be perfect. Perhaps fault finding, nagging, and being your worst enemy. This is where you have to change your dialogue with yourself. How you communicate with yourself, means success or failure.
This is all about how you speak to yourself, how you speak to others. And of course, you usually argue with other people, because you don’ t like negative feedback.
This is changing your perception of the other person. Understanding other people are not the Villain in your experience. Perhaps they say mean things, but it’s really not about you, but their own emotional wounds.
Understand what belongs to you and what belongs to them. Practice being the observer and non-attachment to what other people say.
If you want to be creative, it’s surrounding yourself with creative ideas, there everywhere online if you look.
When I write, I don’t think about it, I just do it. If I don’t feel like writing, I write anyway. I love diversity. I write non-fiction, novel, short-story, and poetry. There’s more than one way to paint as well.
One of the things I also learned, is you don’t need a reward for what you do. It’s more about doing something because you really enjoy doing it, and even something you enjoy, there’s days you don’t enjoy doing it.
I don’t like learning everything I have to learn to succeed, but I do it because I have too, to succeed. And it comes down to the question, “How bad do you want to succeed.” And what I learned the last year, it doesn’t matter what I feel, what I want, what I desire, or what I need. It’s about succeeding period.
There are no excuses. And sure, we can make up every excuse in the book, but sometimes you do just have to do it no matter what life looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes life, our sounds like. That sounds tough, but that is the way the world is in the real world. It’s tough, and you have to be tough yourself to succeed and thrive.

Reddit, napping, and just laying down looking at the ceiling would probably be those vices. lol

Thanks this was very insightful. I do journal, I'm not as consistent as I'd like but I brain-dump often and it helps me, as well of trying to drill mindfulness and being in the present in my head.

Also I'm an INFP, for the record, cause I find that interesting haha. My bf is INTJ too.

Procrastination is usually related to ADHD and dopamine (saw your post in Bekit's thread.)

I think you'll find a solution to this here:

HOT! - MINDSET - Dopamine. The missing piece of the success puzzle. (Improve Locus of Control, Motivation, Self-control)

Okay, we’re going to get into some deep and really cool stuff here. I bounced back and forth for almost a year on this forum as to whether I even wanted to post about this, since I’m planning on saving the materials for a book. But the more I think about it I think it's such an essential thread...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

I saw that post, I was having a bit of a TL;DR week and then I forgot. I'll tackle it on my commute home today, thanks for the reminder

 

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[BellaPippin]

For easy memorization:

View attachment 25601:

Yeah like I was saying in the original post this is what I'm trying to do, but the reward isn't strong enough for my brain to get into the cycle it seems. I can't find an effective enough reward if that makes sense...

 

[BellaPippin]

Yep. I covered that in the thread too:

Certain people need bigger rewards than others, and from everything you've said it sounds like you fit into that category (where he shows the red line.) Note: this can also be related to depression.

Also note the series is about addiction, but it's also related biologically to what you're saying.

Thanks Chris. Definitely it looks like a brain-chemistry obstacle to me. I know I'm not crazy when someone tells me "you just don't want it bad enough" and you can't explain that it's not that! Grr. I'll check your whole thread today and over the weekend.

 

[BellaPippin]

I think its important to differenciate between habits and distractions.

I would call small impulsive tasks habits, and longer periods of unwanted action distractions.

The best tool im aware of to get something like painting done, is simply to schedule it.
I reccommend reading indistractable by Nir Eyal on this topic. The book also covers ways to avoid many habits, and its mostly down to removing external ques.

Would you believe me if I said I tell myself I'll do that as soon as I come home from work, and it never happens? lol

Not only I wanna paint but I'm also trying to get a YouTube channel going so it doesn't help that I cannot get myself on a consistent schedule -_-

 

[Pink Sheep]

Would you believe me if I said I tell myself I'll do that as soon as I come home from work, and it never happens? lol

Not only I wanna paint but I'm also trying to get a YouTube channel going so it doesn't help that I cannot get myself on a consistent schedule -_-

How bout accountability? Set up a contract that says "i will paint x day for x hours, or pay you 100 dollars"
Your proof is your youtube content.

 

[BellaPippin]

Same here... have you seen this?

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU

You know what I recognize it, I know I have watched it in the past, but I've forgotten all about it, I'm gonna rewatch it. lol

 

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[BellaPippin]

Same here... have you seen this?

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU

Okay yeah I remember. The calendar reminds me of the jelly bean jar or something like that that also sort of worked as a reminder life is short. Maybe I should try putting it up, as I’m re-doing my vision board which didn’t have much effect.

 

[BellaPippin]

Every thought about live streaming to Twitch while you do your art? Depending on your comfort, I think having an audience and fan base can be inspiring.

Actually I have, I started a YouTube Channel called 10,000 Hours of Art to document the process, and I've been experimenting with editing video too. I figured YouTube live was a better platform because that's where people that watch demos are. But so far I've been posting recorded speedpaintings, Idk if I should broadcast without an audience first? The whole point is to document the process of getting better and eventually maybe making a sale at some point, go to an art fair etc while showing the 'ugly' process of showing up and sitting and doing something. All the other channels are just very very talented people that make it look super easy and answer questions like "what to do when I don't know how to draw" "how do I stop procrastinating" etc, I thought I'd just show how the only answer is that you have to bust your a$$. They can see me suffer lol. But like I said I had doubts of starting LIVE rather than posting speedpaintings.

Also idk how to promote this -- ALSO I'm not sure if I should paint what I want or start with some fanart stuff to attract people first (that's usually how everyone starts)

 

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[foodiepersecond]

Actually I have, I started a YouTube Channel called 10,000 Hours of Art to document the process, and I've been experimenting with editing video too. I figured YouTube live was a better platform because that's where people that watch demos are. But so far I've been posting recorded speedpaintings, Idk if I should broadcast without an audience first? The whole point is to document the process of getting better and eventually maybe making a sale at some point, go to an art fair etc while showing the 'ugly' process of showing up and sitting and doing something. All the other channels are just very very talented people that make it look super easy and answer questions like "what to do when I don't know how to draw" "how do I stop procrastinating" etc, I thought I'd just show how the only answer is that you have to bust your a$$. They can see me suffer lol. But like I said I had doubts of starting LIVE rather than posting speedpaintings.

Also idk how to promote this -- ALSO I'm not sure if I should paint what I want or start with some fanart stuff to attract people first (that's usually how everyone starts)

Not sure how YouTube live works, but with twitch people can donate or do paid subscriptions to your channel. It's more intimate with having a chat and you can have custom emotes.

 

[BellaPippin]

Not sure how YouTube live works, but with twitch people can donate or do paid subscriptions to your channel. It's more intimate with having a chat and you can have custom emotes.

Yes I watch DrDisrespect on Twitch with my bf when we're chillin'. YouTube live is supposed to be similar, also the effects come from the streamlab software that you connect to Twitch/YT so technically it should be similar, but I haven't looked into it. I know people on YT Live can donate too. Either way people donating on Twitch don't donate thru Twitch, they go to streamlabs.com/username and that's where they send the money.