Started my First Business... But Feeling Empty Inside

[Tristan2k0]

Hey guys and gals, I hardly post on TFF but figured maybe Id make a post and would be able to connect with a person or 2 who has maybe been in my situation. So my dad and I recently started our own Electrical Business, I'm 27 years old and have been doin electrical since 19 so this is a pretty big step for me even though it isn't technically a Fastlane Business but my plan is to build off of it. But these past 2 years have been a massive struggle... I was an alcoholic for a few years and last October I ended up crashing my truck (Thank God I didn't hurt anyone). Woke up in the hospital and stayed there 10 days to recover from severe alcoholism. It was the scariest and most life changing 10 days ever and I've been sober ever since. I got fired from my job where I was making $50 an hour, and now I also owe $30k in debt for damaging some decorative rocks and a drive way. The past 2 months have been very difficult, I feel like I'm such a huge hole and I'm feelin pretty hopeless, it's as if all my motivation to build my business and improve my life has vanished from how I was doing this summer (I was in amazing physical shape and in great mental headspace and was very business motivated) I was just wondering how you guys have found ways to light a fire under your a$$ and get your life organized and back in order. I know Journaling would definitely help, I have never been to therapy though, I wonder if that would help me out. If you've read my post this far I really appreciate it and thank you for your time. I'm seriously open to any suggestions. Thank you

 

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[Johnny boy]

Studies have shown you are likely to be hella bummed out after you drive drunk, crash your car, get fired and owe $30 g's

Just keep showing up, busting your a$$, even when you feel like shit, and then someday it will make sense.

If I have one superpower it's that even when things get "bad", I just don't really worry about it and get back to work.

Then, on the upswings, I think back to how things were rough, and I appreciate myself for sticking to it, and keeping faith even when it didn't make sense to.

A few cycles of that have built my self esteem to where I know that I have ice in my veins, and you can throw anything at me and I'll chew it up like warm gum.

Remember, if you give in to the emotions pushing you in a certain direction right now, you are the opposite of a stoic. You are a piece of paper just blowing in the wind.

Was there ever a time in your life that everything made sense and it was pure happiness? When you had ultimate clarity and were grateful? If so, then better times are ahead of you, especially if you work hard. You will feel that way again where it will feel like you can do no wrong.

Remember the good times in the bad, and remember the bad times in the good. Stay centered, on task, in the zone, and in the right state of mind.

Somewhere there's a version of you in another universe that didn't learn his lesson, and the next time he f*cked up, he killed a family of 4 with two young daughters. Think about that for a second. Think about how much you would wish you lived in THIS reality where you learned a lesson and nobody got hurt, and it stung just the right amount to wake you up. Kind of a perfect situation really...almost like God himself reached into your life to make the right kind of change to totally turn things around for you.

With that frame of mind, you now have a strength. You have something other people don't have. You literally have the ingredients to a focused, deliberate attitude, which is HOW you become successful, an outlier.

Don't go to therapy, it's gay. They'll just ask you about your dad a bunch and try to make you sad.

 

[BizyDad]

Johnny summed up the mental side pretty well.

I'll add a sentence reminding you to get exercise, sunlight, and eat properly. Your body is still recovering from the alcoholism. Feed it with good input.

What is going on with the business? Where are you located? Everywhere I look, electrical work is in demand. How are you marketing? What's the plan for growth?

 

[Joejordan95]

Electricians are always in demand, and the skilled labour you provide will afford you a good income.

Get the bearings of the business, find out what you're good at, bring in customers then grow it till as soon as it makes sense for you to come off the tools.

If you're debt is a total of multiple separate debts then start paying off the smallest ones first this is just so you create momentum and start creating space to focus on the bigger debts.

If it's just one large debt then agree a payment plan that is affordable to you as you are now then you can always pay off larger sums when you're making more money


You've f*cked up and made some mistakes, you didn't kill anybody and you know that you COULD have so just never make that mistake again.

You're alive, You're sober, You're starting a venture with your dad, you have a in-demand skill. That's all something to be proud of.


Keep going and the motivation will come back - this is basically your own desert of desertion and when you pull yourself out the mud you'll realise how much stronger it made you


Prioritize your health
Prioritize your business
Prioritise not feeling sorry for yourself and focus on the future (Journal about the future )

 

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[MichaelKove]

Hey guys and gals, I hardly post on TFF but figured maybe Id make a post and would be able to connect with a person or 2 who has maybe been in my situation. So my dad and I recently started our own Electrical Business, I'm 27 years old and have been doin electrical since 19 so this is a pretty big step for me even though it isn't technically a Fastlane Business but my plan is to build off of it. But these past 2 years have been a massive struggle... I was an alcoholic for a few years and last October I ended up crashing my truck (Thank God I didn't hurt anyone). Woke up in the hospital and stayed there 10 days to recover from severe alcoholism. It was the scariest and most life changing 10 days ever and I've been sober ever since. I got fired from my job where I was making $50 an hour, and now I also owe $30k in debt for damaging some decorative rocks and a drive way. The past 2 months have been very difficult, I feel like I'm such a huge hole and I'm feelin pretty hopeless, it's as if all my motivation to build my business and improve my life has vanished from how I was doing this summer (I was in amazing physical shape and in great mental headspace and was very business motivated) I was just wondering how you guys have found ways to light a fire under your a$$ and get your life organized and back in order. I know Journaling would definitely help, I have never been to therapy though, I wonder if that would help me out. If you've read my post this far I really appreciate it and thank you for your time. I'm seriously open to any suggestions. Thank you

I found that relying on motivation (hype) doesn't give me results.

If you expect to be motivated ALL THE TIME you'll struggle to deliver consistent result and put in effort.

I think we are sold this "passion" idea that whatever you do should bring you joy. I don't know if that's entirely true. It should bring you joy 60% of the time, but those 40% is gonna suck.

Really (and I mean inside your own mind) accepting that sometimes it's going to suck and you're not going to be motivated to show is part of the game.

It seems to me that it's only thing that keeps me persistent. (Same goes for gym, writing, providing services to clients, and even dealing with day-to-day stress).

IF I want to be successful I need to show up daily whether I feel like it or not.

 

[circleme]

I was just wondering how you guys have found ways to light a fire under your a$$ and get your life organized and back in order.

I'll probably get reprimanded by some people for this now, but...

I'm a huge believer in the UNSCRIPTED approach but given your history and current emotional situation, wouldn't it be better if you found something that would give you structure and stability in your life again? You know, something called a job?

The reason I'm writing this is because I believe that business is one thing, especially in the start-up phase: chaos coupled with absolute uncertainty. 2+2 doesn't always equal 4. If you make your forecasts for the next quarter today, you could lose 4 A customers two weeks later. What is still “nice” today is suddenly not so nice tomorrow due to factor “X”. Business is unpredictable in many ways. There are simply far too many variables that have to be in harmony with each other for the business to function in the short and medium term. Even more so to manage it in the long term.

You know what I'm getting at: No matter how great the business and its benefits may be - once you've got it up and running - the beginning is still particularly mentally and in some cases psychologically demanding. I think you should be able to pull it off. Because one thing is clear: no matter what you do, it can take a week, a month, 12 months, 3 years? You don't know, it is simple as that. It's a fact that I only recently had to come to terms with myself. Until then, it's important to constantly motivate yourself. But that in turn requires, in my opinion, a relatively healthy overall picture of yourself, paired with a huge WHY and goals.

So I completely understand the approach of some people here and also some in my private environment who, after a failed business, are initially looking for stability through jobs - even if only temporarily, you should always be aware of that - and then, later on, with more vigor and the best mental health, starting again.

 

[Jon822]

Of course you're bummed, you f*cked up big time and it has nothing to do with business. Learn from it and don't ever do it again. All you can do now is slowly rebuild.

 

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[wfjcc]

Have a clear goal in place. It doesn't matter what your goal is but it helps you keep pushing. Once you achieve the goal set another goal. I think of it like a video game where I need to level up always but there is no end game, just you and your goals.

 

[Tristan2k0]

I found that relying on motivation (hype) doesn't give me results.

If you expect to be motivated ALL THE TIME you'll struggle to deliver consistent result and put in effort.

I think we are sold this "passion" idea that whatever you do should bring you joy. I don't know if that's entirely true. It should bring you joy 60% of the time, but those 40% is gonna suck.

Really (and I mean inside your own mind) accepting that sometimes it's going to suck and you're not going to be motivated to show is part of the game.

It seems to me that it's only thing that keeps me persistent. (Same goes for gym, writing, providing services to clients, and even dealing with day-to-day stress).

IF I want to be successful I need to show up daily whether I feel like it or not.

Yes sir you're exactly right, just gotta show up everyday and embrace the suck and work towards the Mission. Thank you

 

[Tristan2k0]

Have a clear goal in place. It doesn't matter what your goal is but it helps you keep pushing. Once you achieve the goal set another goal. I think of it like a video game where I need to level up always but there is no end game, just you and your goals.

Yeah man that's a very good way to put it, just like a video game. When I was younger my main goal was to have $5,000,000 in the bank by age 30. A very big feat but anything is possible. Thank you

 

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[Tristan2k0]

Studies have shown you are likely to be hella bummed out after you drive drunk, crash your car, get fired and owe $30 g's

Just keep showing up, busting your a$$, even when you feel like shit, and then someday it will make sense.

If I have one superpower it's that even when things get "bad", I just don't really worry about it and get back to work.

Then, on the upswings, I think back to how things were rough, and I appreciate myself for sticking to it, and keeping faith even when it didn't make sense to.

A few cycles of that have built my self esteem to where I know that I have ice in my veins, and you can throw anything at me and I'll chew it up like warm gum.

Remember, if you give in to the emotions pushing you in a certain direction right now, you are the opposite of a stoic. You are a piece of paper just blowing in the wind.

Was there ever a time in your life that everything made sense and it was pure happiness? When you had ultimate clarity and were grateful? If so, then better times are ahead of you, especially if you work hard. You will feel that way again where it will feel like you can do no wrong.

Remember the good times in the bad, and remember the bad times in the good. Stay centered, on task, in the zone, and in the right state of mind.

Somewhere there's a version of you in another universe that didn't learn his lesson, and the next time he f*cked up, he killed a family of 4 with two young daughters. Think about that for a second. Think about how much you would wish you lived in THIS reality where you learned a lesson and nobody got hurt, and it stung just the right amount to wake you up. Kind of a perfect situation really...almost like God himself reached into your life to make the right kind of change to totally turn things around for you.

With that frame of mind, you now have a strength. You have something other people don't have. You literally have the ingredients to a focused, deliberate attitude, which is HOW you become successful, an outlier.

Don't go to therapy, it's gay. They'll just ask you about your dad a bunch and try to make you sad.

Holy shit bro you're right, I used to be very focused and straight and narrow. Before I got with my toxic ex and began drinking. Was the best time of my life. But I've never thought about my situation in a different universe, it chills me to the bone thinking of what happened in the accident. I really shouldn't have even survived the accident, I rolled my truck like 5 times. The higher powers at be definitely saved my a$$ and taught me a lesson I'll never forget. I appreciate your input brother. Gonna read this daily. Way more useful than therapy. I need to follow some more threads here on TFF too

 

[Tristan2k0]

Johnny summed up the mental side pretty well.

I'll add a sentence reminding you to get exercise, sunlight, and eat properly. Your body is still recovering from the alcoholism. Feed it with good input.

What is going on with the business? Where are you located? Everywhere I look, electrical work is in demand. How are you marketing? What's the plan for growth?

Yes sir, health is definitely the most important thing I need to focus on right now, and then my business. I'm in Southern Colorado, we finally got the LLC and all the paperwork finished about a month ago to be able to pull permits, etc. As for marketing I made a Facebook page and will make an Instagram page, but those will only reach younger people. Gonna put some ads in the local papers and thrifty nickels. Definitely need to find a lot more ways of marketing though. Thank you

 

[Tristan2k0]

Electricians are always in demand, and the skilled labour you provide will afford you a good income.

Get the bearings of the business, find out what you're good at, bring in customers then grow it till as soon as it makes sense for you to come off the tools.

If you're debt is a total of multiple separate debts then start paying off the smallest ones first this is just so you create momentum and start creating space to focus on the bigger debts.

If it's just one large debt then agree a payment plan that is affordable to you as you are now then you can always pay off larger sums when you're making more money


You've f*cked up and made some mistakes, you didn't kill anybody and you know that you COULD have so just never make that mistake again.

You're alive, You're sober, You're starting a venture with your dad, you have a in-demand skill. That's all something to be proud of.


Keep going and the motivation will come back - this is basically your own desert of desertion and when you pull yourself out the mud you'll realise how much stronger it made you


Prioritize your health
Prioritize your business
Prioritise not feeling sorry for yourself and focus on the future (Journal about the future )

Yes sir, just gotta keep going and knock my debts out. I know I can be very successful because this trade is in demand virtually everywhere. I appreciate your words brother. Thank you

 

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[JordanK]

Hey Tristan,

You should check out this video by a guy from my city here in Ireland who pulled his life together after a bad drink driving incident where a friend of his died. He is self employed and quite successful now years later.

https://x.com/SirStevoTimothy/status/1727000899862639040