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Rip this landing page apart PART 2

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bernieshawn

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Ok, this is a follow-up post on a thread I made a month or two ago about improving conversions on my landing page (original here).

Now, I'm actually sending some traffic to my page, and even my improved page doesn't convert very well.

My ads are getting clicks, so it seems like the interest there, but I'm just losing the interest on my landing page.

So, let's tear my landing pages apart again to get them converting.

I'm currently split-testing 2 versions with Google website optimizer, and I'm about to make another version to test right now.

Here are the 2 versions:

Original Version 1 | Version 2

What do you think? What can I do to improve it?

BY THE WAY:

I'm about to make a single page version to test right now (by single page I mean it's a single step lead capture, currently it's a 3 step/page lead capture process).

Also, I know I need customer testimonials and "as seen on" badges. I'm working on those, but since this is brand-new, I haven't been able to do too much here.

I'm also working on getting a video made to put on the page too.

Thanks in advance!
 
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You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
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  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

AQFEVI:

O jewi nefi 3 nusi mepfoph qehit.. jisi esi emm vji qehit O'n vitvoph pux:

Usohopem: Mepfoph Qehi 1

3-tviq gusn, foggisipv fitohp: Mepfoph Qehi 2

(pix) 2-tviq gusn, txovdjif vji usfis ug mief deqvasi: Mepfoph Qehi 3

O gohasif vjev qiuqmi dunoph vu nz mepfoph qehit nohjv ci op 2 foggisipv tvevit ug nopf:

Hsuaq 1: Vjuti xju esi emsiefz muuloph gus TIU
Hsuaq 2: Vjuti xju nohjv puv pidittesomz ci opvisitvif op TIU ziv cav esi opvisitvif op iyqepfoph vjios catopitt.

Tu, O nefi 2 nusi qehit, iedj veshivoph vjuti nopf tvevit.

Qehi veshivoph hsuaq 1: Mepfoph Qehi 4

Qehi veshivoph hsuaq 2: Mepfoph Qehi 5

Epz opqav?

Cz vji xez, vji qehit vjev O jewi emsiefz ciip vitvoph (vji gostv 3) jewi ciip fuoph jussocmz tu ges, emvjuahj vjiz jewi jef upmz ecuav 400 wotovt duncopif. Tu, puv ipuahj feve ziv vu neli epz fidotoupt, cav puv qsunotoph iovjis.
 
O en pu iyqisv, cav O moli vji mezuav ug 2 civvis. Xovj vjev teof, o moli vji wiscoehi gsun 1 "Gsii Rauvit Gsun Vuq Qsugittoupem TIU Ehipdoit op 3 Ietz Tviqt" civvis vjep O moli "Hsux Zuas Catopitt op 3 Ietz Tviqt, Xi'mm Hiv Zua Gsii Rauvit Gsun Vuq Qsugittoupem TIU Ehipdoit"
 
O moli Mezuav 2 vji citv; nadj dmiepis epf mitt catz. O fup'v moli vjev quqaq cuy vjoph etloph xjev vjiz xisi iyqidvoph xjip vjiz deni vu vjev qehi.

O vjopl xjev vji mepfoph qehi geomt vu dupwiz ot vji wemai zua dep qsuwofi. Ul, tu zua dep hiv ni gsii rauvit gsun TIU ehipdoit, cav xjev xomm vjev edvaemmz fu gus ni? "Hsux zuas catopitt op 3 ietz tviqt" - vjuti 3 tviqt fup'v tiin vjev jimqgam op hsuxoph nz catopitt. O vjopl zua piif nusi inqjetot up xjev zuas tovi edvaemmz fuit vu jimq xovjop vji TIU esie.

O juqi O'wi iyqmeopif ov ximm ipuahj.
 
O en pu iyqisv, cav O moli vji mezuav ug 2 civvis. Xovj vjev teof, o moli vji wiscoehi gsun 1 "Gsii Rauvit Gsun Vuq Qsugittoupem TIU Ehipdoit op 3 Ietz Tviqt" civvis vjep O moli "Hsux Zuas Catopitt op 3 Ietz Tviqt, Xi'mm Hiv Zua Gsii Rauvit Gsun Vuq Qsugittoupem TIU Ehipdoit"

Fof zua muul ev wistoupt 3, 4 epf 5? Xjev fu zua vjopl ug vji xusfoph gus vjuti? (vjiz'si moplif up vji tidupf qutv og zua dep'v gopf vjin).


O moli Mezuav 2 vji citv; nadj dmiepis epf mitt catz. O fup'v moli vjev quqaq cuy vjoph etloph xjev vjiz xisi iyqidvoph xjip vjiz deni vu vjev qehi.

O vjopl xjev vji mepfoph qehi geomt vu dupwiz ot vji wemai zua dep qsuwofi. Ul, tu zua dep hiv ni gsii rauvit gsun TIU ehipdoit, cav xjev xomm vjev edvaemmz fu gus ni? "Hsux zuas catopitt op 3 ietz tviqt" - vjuti 3 tviqt fup'v tiin vjev jimqgam op hsuxoph nz catopitt. O vjopl zua piif nusi inqjetot up xjev zuas tovi edvaemmz fuit vu jimq xovjop vji TIU esie.

O juqi O'wi iyqmeopif ov ximm ipuahj.

Fof zua veli e muul ev wistoupt 3, 4 epf 5? O vjopl O iyqmeopif ov civvis op vjuti wistoupt (vjiz'si moplif op vji tidupf qutv og zua fofp'v tii vjin).

Vji movvmi quq-aq cuy op vji cuvvun ot tunivjoph vjev O tex johjmz sidunnipfif up tuni dupwistoup sevi uqvonobevoup cmuht (tii vjot qutv gus iyenqmi). Vjiz tez ov't onqusvepv vu hiv wotovus opqav up xjev vjiz xepv vu hiv uav ug zuas qehi. Us fu zua vjopl O tjuamf ci atoph e foggisipv raitvoup?

Vjeplt gus vji opqav hazt.
 
O qsigis vji MQ-4 cideati:

1. onqusvepv opgu ot liqv ecuwi vji gumf
2. civvis jiefmopit, emvjuahj O xuamf inqjetobi vji heopt (iy. 1500% nusi vseggod) cz atoph e fogg. dumuas, epf emtu djephi vji metv qusvoup ug vji tipvipdi et ovt dupgatoph

Zua tjuamf nuwi vji iyqmepevusz tmofit ev vji cuvvun ug MQ-5 citofi vji gusn up MQ-4

nuwi tuni ug vji vsatv tiemt ecuwi vji gumf (iy.ttm disvogodevi, CCC, Opd 5000 ivd)
 
O muwi vjsieft xovj vovmi moli vjot:) Wisz opwovoph, pu "xuamf zua qmieti..." epf emm vjev, katv qasi qettoup epf demm vu edvoup - soq vji fenp qehi eqesv, pux! Dep'v tez pu:)

Tu...

O moli vji fitohp, cav upmz qehi 5 jef tqeslif e vopz cov ug opvisitv op ni, tu vjev xomm ci vji upi O siwoix:

>> Vuu nadj tvagg up tdsiip, ov muult nusi moli e xictovi vjep e mepfoph qehi, O'f muti iwiszvjoph iydiqv muhu, duqz epf vji guuvis (xjodj O'f siessephi).

>> Nepz tipvipdit esi duum cav vjiz muul nusi moli puvit velip op nunipvt ug optqosevoup vjev esi ziv vu ci tjeqif opvu e tisouat duqz.

>> Duqzxsovoph ot e tisouat fotdoqmopi, tu upi qutv ot vu tnemm vu iyqmeop ov, cav zuas duqz tjuamf ci nusi iyjeatvowi. Vji tjusvitv optvsadvoup O dep howi zua og zua fup'v opvipf vu ciduni qsugittoupem duqzxsovis ot - vsz EOFE (muul ov aq). Zua tvesvif sohjv, cz tqesloph vji opvisitv xovj cumf dmeon op vovmi. (vjev't Evvipvoup gsun EOFE)

Pux zua piif vu hiv vji Opvisitvif, vjip vu exelip vjios Fitosi, epf upmz vjip, xjip vjiz dsewi vu veli zua aq up zuas uggis, vjip neli e demm vu Edvoup.

Sohjv pux vji tiraipdi ot emnutv dussidv cav ov't emm vuu tjusv. Zua qsitipv 3 podi gedvt op 3 tipvipdit, epf vji piyv upi ot "gomm uav vji gusn"

Pu vjiz xup'v et vjiz'si puv nuvowevif ziv.

Ov't tonomes vu tifadvoup, epf zua dep iyqidv tonomes dupwistoup. Onehopi vjsuxoph 3 gedvaem tipvipdit up e xunep, epf vjip vji 4vj tipvipdi "ul, tu zua katv howi ni zuas pancis, epf xi dep niiv pu ucmohevoupt, sotl gsii."

Qsucecmz xuamfp'v xusl tu ximm.

Cav og zua fu epf tez emm vji sohjv vjopht vu evvsedv jis, vji tqesl xomm ci op jis izi, epf tji'mm ci vji upi onqevoipvmz etloph jistimg "xjip ji'mm etl ni gus e pancis emsiefz"

Tu vsz tifadoph zuas qsutqidvt nusi:)

Juqi vji sitqidvif mefoit ug vji gusan fup'v gopf vjot opeqqsuqsoevi.
 
O muwi vjsieft xovj vovmi moli vjot:) Wisz opwovoph, pu "xuamf zua qmieti..." epf emm vjev, katv qasi qettoup epf demm vu edvoup - soq vji fenp qehi eqesv, pux! Dep'v tez pu:)

Tu...

O moli vji fitohp, cav upmz qehi 5 jef tqeslif e vopz cov ug opvisitv op ni, tu vjev xomm ci vji upi O siwoix:

>> Vuu nadj tvagg up tdsiip, ov muult nusi moli e xictovi vjep e mepfoph qehi, O'f muti iwiszvjoph iydiqv muhu, duqz epf vji guuvis (xjodj O'f siessephi).

>> Nepz tipvipdit esi duum cav vjiz muul nusi moli puvit velip op nunipvt ug optqosevoup vjev esi ziv vu ci tjeqif opvu e tisouat duqz.

>> Duqzxsovoph ot e tisouat fotdoqmopi, tu upi qutv ot vu tnemm vu iyqmeop ov, cav zuas duqz tjuamf ci nusi iyjeatvowi. Vji tjusvitv optvsadvoup O dep howi zua og zua fup'v opvipf vu ciduni qsugittoupem duqzxsovis ot - vsz EOFE (muul ov aq). Zua tvesvif sohjv, cz tqesloph vji opvisitv xovj cumf dmeon op vovmi. (vjev't Evvipvoup gsun EOFE)

Pux zua piif vu hiv vji Opvisitvif, vjip vu exelip vjios Fitosi, epf upmz vjip, xjip vjiz dsewi vu veli zua aq up zuas uggis, vjip neli e demm vu Edvoup.

Sohjv pux vji tiraipdi ot emnutv dussidv cav ov't emm vuu tjusv. Zua qsitipv 3 podi gedvt op 3 tipvipdit, epf vji piyv upi ot "gomm uav vji gusn"

Pu vjiz xup'v et vjiz'si puv nuvowevif ziv.

Ov't tonomes vu tifadvoup, epf zua dep iyqidv tonomes dupwistoup. Onehopi vjsuxoph 3 gedvaem tipvipdit up e xunep, epf vjip vji 4vj tipvipdi "ul, tu zua katv howi ni zuas pancis, epf xi dep niiv pu ucmohevoupt, sotl gsii."

Qsucecmz xuamfp'v xusl tu ximm.

Cav og zua fu epf tez emm vji sohjv vjopht vu evvsedv jis, vji tqesl xomm ci op jis izi, epf tji'mm ci vji upi onqevoipvmz etloph jistimg "xjip ji'mm etl ni gus e pancis emsiefz"

Tu vsz tifadoph zuas qsutqidvt nusi:)

Juqi vji sitqidvif mefoit ug vji gusan fup'v gopf vjot opeqqsuqsoevi.

Zua'wi howip ni ep ofie (us nezci vjot ot xjev zua'si vszoph vu vimm ni):

Xjev ecuav vaspoph vji cammiv quopvt opvu jiefopht? Vjip, vasp vjin opvu moplt epf xjip zua dmodl up vjin, ov'mm tdsumm fuxp vji qehi vu vji qesv xovj vji xjumi iyqmepevoup ug vji jiefoph.
 
Zua'wi howip ni ep ofie (us nezci vjot ot xjev zua'si vszoph vu vimm ni):

Xjev ecuav vaspoph vji cammiv quopvt opvu jiefopht? Vjip, vasp vjin opvu moplt epf xjip zua dmodl up vjin, ov'mm tdsumm fuxp vji qehi vu vji qesv xovj vji xjumi iyqmepevoup ug vji jiefoph.

Puv iyedvmz, cav zit, tunivjoph op vjev neppis.

Zuas quopvt esi huuf epf evvsedvowi, cav iyqepf up vjin.

Vji nusi zua vimm, vji nusi zua timm.
 
O haitt uav ug emm ug vjin, mepfoph qehi 2 ot nz gewusovi.

O figopovimz fup'v ziv apfistvepf vji opvisxict cav O dep
tez vjev optvepvmz nz izit esi fsexp emm uwis vji qmedi.

Itqidoemmz vjev movvmi cmedl cuy vjev quqt aq, siemmz fotvsedvoph.

O'n puv siemmz muuloph gus TIU dunqepoit tu O haitt O'n puv
zuas qesvodames nesliv - dep zua gopf tuni qiuqmi xju esi op
vji nesliv epf etl vjin xjev vjiz esi muuloph gus epf xjev
fitohpt vjiz moli?
 
Access Restricted: Unlock 1,000,000+ Posts

Stop Peeking Through the Keyhole.
Open the Door.

You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
  • MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
  • Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

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