Rip this landing page apart PART 2

[bernieshawn]

Ok, this is a follow-up post on a thread I made a month or two ago about improving conversions on my landing page (original here).

Now, I'm actually sending some traffic to my page, and even my improved page doesn't convert very well.

My ads are getting clicks, so it seems like the interest there, but I'm just losing the interest on my landing page.

So, let's tear my landing pages apart again to get them converting.

I'm currently split-testing 2 versions with Google website optimizer, and I'm about to make another version to test right now.

Here are the 2 versions:

Original Version 1 | Version 2

What do you think? What can I do to improve it?

BY THE WAY:

I'm about to make a single page version to test right now (by single page I mean it's a single step lead capture, currently it's a 3 step/page lead capture process).

Also, I know I need customer testimonials and "as seen on" badges. I'm working on those, but since this is brand-new, I haven't been able to do too much here.

I'm also working on getting a video made to put on the page too.

Thanks in advance!

 

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[bernieshawn]

UPDATE:

I have made 3 more landing pages.. here are all the pages I'm testing now:

Original: Landing Page 1

3-step form, different design: Landing Page 2

(new) 2-step form, switched the order of lead capture: Landing Page 3

I figured that people coming to my landing pages might be in 2 different states of mind:

Group 1: Those who are already looking for SEO
Group 2: Those who might not necessarily be interested in SEO yet but are interested in expanding their business.

So, I made 2 more pages, each targeting those mind states.

Page targeting group 1: Landing Page 4

Page targeting group 2: Landing Page 5

Any input?

By the way, the pages that I have already been testing (the first 3) have been doing horribly so far, although they have had only about 400 visits combined. So, not enough data yet to make any decisions, but not promising either.

 

[Brootal]

I am no expert, but I like the layout of 2 better. With that said, i like the verbiage from 1 "Free Quotes From Top Professional SEO Agencies in 3 Easy Steps" better than I like "Grow Your Business in 3 Easy Steps, We'll Get You Free Quotes From Top Professional SEO Agencies"

 

[mrhahn]

I like Layout 2 the best; much cleaner and less busy. I don't like that popup box thing asking what they were expecting when they came to that page.

I think what the landing page fails to convey is the value you can provide. Ok, so you can get me free quotes from SEO agencies, but what will that actually do for me? "Grow your business in 3 easy steps" - those 3 steps don't seem that helpful in growing my business. I think you need more emphasis on what your site actually does to help within the SEO area.

I hope I've explained it well enough.

 

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[bernieshawn]

I am no expert, but I like the layout of 2 better. With that said, i like the verbiage from 1 "Free Quotes From Top Professional SEO Agencies in 3 Easy Steps" better than I like "Grow Your Business in 3 Easy Steps, We'll Get You Free Quotes From Top Professional SEO Agencies"

Did you look at versions 3, 4 and 5? What do you think of the wording for those? (they're linked on the second post if you can't find them).

I like Layout 2 the best; much cleaner and less busy. I don't like that popup box thing asking what they were expecting when they came to that page.

I think what the landing page fails to convey is the value you can provide. Ok, so you can get me free quotes from SEO agencies, but what will that actually do for me? "Grow your business in 3 easy steps" - those 3 steps don't seem that helpful in growing my business. I think you need more emphasis on what your site actually does to help within the SEO area.

I hope I've explained it well enough.

Did you take a look at versions 3, 4 and 5? I think I explained it better in those versions (they're linked in the second post if you didn't see them).

The little pop-up box in the bottom is something that I saw highly recommended on some conversion rate optimization blogs (see this post for example). They say it's important to get visitor input on what they want to get out of your page. Or do you think I should be using a different question?

Thanks for the input guys.

 

[kraze]

I prefer the LP-4 because:

1. important info is kept above the fold
2. better headlines, although I would emphasize the gains (ex. 1500% more traffic) by using a diff. colour, and also change the last portion of the sentence as its confusing

You should move the explanatory slides at the bottom of LP-5 beside the form on LP-4

move some of the trust seals above the fold (ex.ssl certificate, BBB, Inc 5000 etc)

 

[FastNAwesome]

I love threads with title like this Very inviting, no "would you please..." and all that, just pure passion and call to action - rip the damn page apart, now! Can't say no

So...

I like the design, but only page 5 had sparked a tiny bit of interest in me, so that will be the one I review:

>> Too much stuff on screen, it looks more like a website than a landing page, I'd lose everything except logo, copy and the footer (which I'd rearrange).

>> Many sentences are cool but they look more like notes taken in moments of inspiration that are yet to be shaped into a serious copy.

>> Copywriting is a serious discipline, so one post is to small to explain it, but your copy should be more exhaustive. The shortest instruction I can give you if you don't intend to become professional copywriter is - try AIDA (look it up). You started right, by sparking the interest with bold claim in title. (that's Attention from AIDA)

Now you need to get the Interested, then to awaken their Desire, and only then, when they crave to take you up on your offer, then make a call to Action.

Right now the sequence is almost correct but it's all too short. You present 3 nice facts in 3 sentences, and the next one is "fill out the form"

No they won't as they're not motivated yet.

It's similar to seduction, and you can expect similar conversion. Imagine throwing 3 factual sentences on a woman, and then the 4th sentence "ok, so you just give me your number, and we can meet no obligations, risk free."

Probably wouldn't work so well.

But if you do and say all the right things to attract her, the spark will be in her eye, and she'll be the one impatiently asking herself "when he'll ask me for a number already"

So try seducing your prospects more

Hope the respected ladies of the forum don't find this inappropriate.

 

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[bernieshawn]

I love threads with title like this Very inviting, no "would you please..." and all that, just pure passion and call to action - rip the damn page apart, now! Can't say no

So...

I like the design, but only page 5 had sparked a tiny bit of interest in me, so that will be the one I review:

>> Too much stuff on screen, it looks more like a website than a landing page, I'd lose everything except logo, copy and the footer (which I'd rearrange).

>> Many sentences are cool but they look more like notes taken in moments of inspiration that are yet to be shaped into a serious copy.

>> Copywriting is a serious discipline, so one post is to small to explain it, but your copy should be more exhaustive. The shortest instruction I can give you if you don't intend to become professional copywriter is - try AIDA (look it up). You started right, by sparking the interest with bold claim in title. (that's Attention from AIDA)

Now you need to get the Interested, then to awaken their Desire, and only then, when they crave to take you up on your offer, then make a call to Action.

Right now the sequence is almost correct but it's all too short. You present 3 nice facts in 3 sentences, and the next one is "fill out the form"

No they won't as they're not motivated yet.

It's similar to seduction, and you can expect similar conversion. Imagine throwing 3 factual sentences on a woman, and then the 4th sentence "ok, so you just give me your number, and we can meet no obligations, risk free."

Probably wouldn't work so well.

But if you do and say all the right things to attract her, the spark will be in her eye, and she'll be the one impatiently asking herself "when he'll ask me for a number already"

So try seducing your prospects more

Hope the respected ladies of the forum don't find this inappropriate.

You've given me an idea (or maybe this is what you're trying to tell me):

What about turning the bullet points into headings? Then, turn them into links and when you click on them, it'll scroll down the page to the part with the whole explanation of the heading.

 

[FastNAwesome]

You've given me an idea (or maybe this is what you're trying to tell me):

What about turning the bullet points into headings? Then, turn them into links and when you click on them, it'll scroll down the page to the part with the whole explanation of the heading.

Not exactly, but yes, something in that manner.

Your points are good and attractive, but expand on them.

The more you tell, the more you sell.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

I guess out of all of them, landing page 2 is my favorite.

I definitely don't yet understand the interwebs but I can
say that instantly my eyes are drawn all over the place.

Especially that little black box that pops up, really distracting.

I'm not really looking for SEO companies so I guess I'm not
your particular market - can you find some people who are in
the market and ask them what they are looking for and what
designs they like?

 

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[dinvesthk]

get rid of the corner box, people hate it