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Rejected from UNI: My parents affecting my life choices

VicFountain

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I'm having a real problem, I hope the older lads can help me here. I'm still living with my family and I planned to move this month for my first year of uni. Here's the problem, I got "rejected" from the Universities I applied to so I now find myself kind of....lost.

Beware, in my country (EU) the Uni system is quite different. We don't have GPA or that stuff. We don't even have "campuses" as you call them. Take the American college and remove the fraternities, dorms, and parties, and here is the average University in my country.

Now, my parents are "forcing" me to choose an Uni here in my city. Yes, they are implying I need to live with them another year or so, which is just a nightmare for me.
The only degree I could apply to is a sort of Economics (but much more specific in the "Management" niche). That degree seems so useless in my honest opinion. They teach you plenty of theory, but no practice. Now, I might be wrong, but correct me in case.

So basically, I feel like going to Uni here would suck completely both from the "fun" part and the "career" part.
I can't stand being with my parents any longer. They've been hindering my self-improvement for years now.

In terms of business, I'm in the self-publishing sector. I started a blog 2 months ago and I am already finishing one book. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not expecting millions from it. My goal is to get 1-2k a month from it and I'm sure it's 100% possible if I put in the work. This would be my plan in case I don't go to any University this year: to focus exclusively on this business.

What do you think about all this? What should I be doing if my goal is to move from my parents? Should I take a job or focus only on my business? Thank you in advance.
 

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RazorCut

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Your parents want what is best for you. Don't take this the wrong way but it would seem you have focus/work ethic issues if you could not get the grades required to get a single university offer from the ones you applied for.

A lot of the time, unless extremely specific, a degree just says you are teachable and of an acceptable level of intelligence, and also have the perseverance to dedicate 3 or more years of your life to one goal. It's a way of sifting the wheat from the chaff.

A potential employer doesn't think "oh wow, he/she took a module in bla bla, that will be so useful for us". Most of the stuff they teach in Uni is way behind what the real world is doing (unless you are in a post graduate course). So having an extremely relevant degree to what it is you want to do work wise is not that important. Do you think all English and Maths degree graduates become writers and mathematicians?

Now the bit you really won't want to hear:

If you leave home how will you pay your bills? Your fledgling business is an unknown quantity regarding earnings so that just leaves you with a paid job. You will probably find any jobs available to you at your age and experience are low paid and it is expensive to live on your own. I would stay home, continue your education locally and work on building your business while you have the safety net your parents are kind enough to extend to you.
 

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I can't stand being with my parents any longer. They've been hindering my self-improvement for years now.
How have they been hindering you?
 

Creep

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I had a similar situation. I would try to talk with them. They probably will say you are an idiot for chasing writing as its not a "secure job"
If you cant live with them, apply for jobs and look for a cheap as possible apparment or collective. Keep costs down untill your business makes you serious money.
 
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VicFountain

VicFountain

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Your parents want what is best for you. Don't take this the wrong way but it would seem you have focus/work ethic issues if you could not get the grades required to get a single university offer from the ones you applied for.

A lot of the time, unless extremely specific, a degree just says you are teachable and of an acceptable level of intelligence, and also have the perseverance to dedicate 3 or more years of your life to one goal. It's a way of sifting the wheat from the chaff.

A potential employer doesn't think "oh wow, he/she took a module in bla bla, that will be so useful for us". Most of the stuff they teach in Uni is way behind what the real world is doing (unless you are in a post graduate course). So having an extremely relevant degree to what it is you want to do work wise is not that important. Do you think all English and Maths degree graduates become writers and mathematicians?

Now the bit you really won't want to hear:

If you leave home how will you pay your bills? Your fledgling business is an unknown quantity regarding earnings so that just leaves you with a paid job. You will probably find any jobs available to you at your age and experience are low paid and it is expensive to live on your own. I would stay home, continue your education locally and work on building your business while you have the safety net your parents are kind enough to extend to you.
Thanks for the reply. I understand moving out is not that simple.

My parents have been hindering my self-improvement in the sense that, they keep demotivating me and telling me anything to make me stop improve myself. Yeah, they sound insecure, in all honesty.
Crabs in a bucket.

For example, I've been lifting for 4 years and my parents in the last 1-2 years kept telling how horrible I look, how dangerous proteins are and other non-sense bullshit.
But this is not the point.

They're still plugged-in the matrix and believe a degree is something you must have to survive in this world. When I tell them "What about those millionaires without a degree?" the only reply they can come up with is "They are lucky. You are not them" which just makes me understand even further how my parents are a negative influence in my life.

Now, as you said, they do it because they THINK this is the best for me. But what they think is the best for me, is just what they've been conditioned to believe.

Also, yeah, I understand University is for the people who simply don't know how much stuff is available for free on the internet and on the books. The same stuff they teach you in Uni, if not even better.

Personally, everything I have learned in the past, I've done that by myself. How? Through tutorials, books and other sources that are freely available in today's age.

In regards to my business. Of course, it's too early for me to even call it a business. But I believe that with persistence and discipline I can make it succeed. The only downside is time, clearly. But as MJ says, you first have to put in the work and be okay with getting no positive results in the beginning. And I truly believe in it.

Edit: To add, it was 100% my fault I didn't enter those Universities. I didn't study enough to pass their entry tests. I'm being honest with you. The belief "University is not that useful" affected my actions, and I ended up not putting 100% effort into studying for the tests.
 

Dittie

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Sep 13, 2019
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I'm having a real problem, I hope the older lads can help me here. I'm still living with my family and I planned to move this month for my first year of uni. Here's the problem, I got "rejected" from the Universities I applied to so I now find myself kind of....lost.

Beware, in my country (EU) the Uni system is quite different. We don't have GPA or that stuff. We don't even have "campuses" as you call them. Take the American college and remove the fraternities, dorms, and parties, and here is the average University in my country.

Now, my parents are "forcing" me to choose an Uni here in my city. Yes, they are implying I need to live with them another year or so, which is just a nightmare for me.
The only degree I could apply to is a sort of Economics (but much more specific in the "Management" niche). That degree seems so useless in my honest opinion. They teach you plenty of theory, but no practice. Now, I might be wrong, but correct me in case.

So basically, I feel like going to Uni here would suck completely both from the "fun" part and the "career" part.
I can't stand being with my parents any longer. They've been hindering my self-improvement for years now.

In terms of business, I'm in the self-publishing sector. I started a blog 2 months ago and I am already finishing one book. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not expecting millions from it. My goal is to get 1-2k a month from it and I'm sure it's 100% possible if I put in the work. This would be my plan in case I don't go to any University this year: to focus exclusively on this business.

What do you think about all this? What should I be doing if my goal is to move from my parents? Should I take a job or focus only on my business? Thank you in advance.
The diploma gives you a better self-confidence, better opportunities, a better jobs, if you choose well. -so you don't need to work in soul killer factories while you thinking about a business, an idea. When I left my parents house I became more positive, its helped a lot.

If someone, doesn't have a goal, a business idea, its a nice opportunity to go to university.

I think its a nice idea to go to uni too, economics and computer science nice choices i think, don't skip years.
 
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ChrisV

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Go to college, start a business on the side.

Economics is not a useless degree.

It's funny because MJ actually went to business school, and the fact that he went to business school is very apparent in his books. He knows what he's talking about. Business school stresses the importance of creating value, which is one of the cornerstones to fastlaneology.

Don't just dismiss college as stupid or useless – it's not. You'll learn valuable skills that are useful in real world. And the theory is very important too.
 
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ChrisV

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They're still plugged-in the matrix and believe a degree is something you must have to survive in this world. When I tell them "What about those millionaires without a degree?" the only reply they can come up with is "They are lucky. You are not them" which just makes me understand even further how my parents are a negative influence in my life.
They're right. Did you know that most successful entrepreneurs have degrees? Someone with a degree is statistically more likely to make it as an entrepreneur than someone without. Those guys without degrees that you hear about are outliers and anecdotal evidence. Sure there ae a few that made it without degrees, but there are more that made it with degrees.

Now, as you said, they do it because they THINK this is the best for me. But what they think is the best for me, is just what they've been conditioned to believe.

Also, yeah, I understand University is for the people who simply don't know how much stuff is available for free on the internet and on the books. The same stuff they teach you in Uni, if not even better.

Personally, everything I have learned in the past, I've done that by myself. How? Through tutorials, books and other sources that are freely available in today's age.
This is true. I mean more and more companies are actively trying to eliminate degree prerequisites. Google and Elon Musks companies' are at the forefront of this.

But you're right. There's tons of information freely available online, but you know what else there's a lot of? Junk. How are you going to know which sources are legit and which aren't? University would give you the tools required to separate the diamonds from the dogshit.

Here's a quick guide to sorting through bullshit, but University will teach you valuable skills about how to formulate an argument using evidence, finding reliable information, etc

 

Rawseed

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I have three university degrees. And, I earn a great living working as an employee.

But, I'm now very anti-degree.

I recommend you get a job or an apprenticeship where you can learn some skills and/or get some domain experience.

First, learn how to learn. Then learn as much as possible.

Learn a marketable skill:
  • Coding/Programming
  • Digital marketing
  • Copywriting
  • Sales
  • Website design
  • Graphic design
  • Leadership
  • Systems creation
  • Public speaking
  • There are many more
Also, surround yourself with ambitious and hardworking people.

Learn how to create things, sell things, lead people, and work hard. Then you'll be unstoppable.
 

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Kevin88660

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I'm having a real problem, I hope the older lads can help me here. I'm still living with my family and I planned to move this month for my first year of uni. Here's the problem, I got "rejected" from the Universities I applied to so I now find myself kind of....lost.

Beware, in my country (EU) the Uni system is quite different. We don't have GPA or that stuff. We don't even have "campuses" as you call them. Take the American college and remove the fraternities, dorms, and parties, and here is the average University in my country.

Now, my parents are "forcing" me to choose an Uni here in my city. Yes, they are implying I need to live with them another year or so, which is just a nightmare for me.
The only degree I could apply to is a sort of Economics (but much more specific in the "Management" niche). That degree seems so useless in my honest opinion. They teach you plenty of theory, but no practice. Now, I might be wrong, but correct me in case.

So basically, I feel like going to Uni here would suck completely both from the "fun" part and the "career" part.
I can't stand being with my parents any longer. They've been hindering my self-improvement for years now.

In terms of business, I'm in the self-publishing sector. I started a blog 2 months ago and I am already finishing one book. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not expecting millions from it. My goal is to get 1-2k a month from it and I'm sure it's 100% possible if I put in the work. This would be my plan in case I don't go to any University this year: to focus exclusively on this business.

What do you think about all this? What should I be doing if my goal is to move from my parents? Should I take a job or focus only on my business? Thank you in advance.
Hm..I am different from you I guess I like my experience studying Economics degree. I seriously do not mind working in the academia to research on Economics, business or finance. I just do not have the patience to go on years of the phd path and “cite my papers please so that I can renew my contract” journey. I prefer to be in the field and looking for faster monetary return on my effort.

I deal with people daily as part of my business. I got a feel that your burning desire is to move away from your parents. It is not really about the type of university, the type of course and business versus study. You seemed to have applied a uni far away to not live in the same city with them. I cannot advise you on business if it is just a tool to not live with your parents.

Maybe you should share with us what you like to achieve by not living with them. We all understand why people dont like to live with parents or dont like to live with others in general. But just not liking something is not a good reason. There are plenty of things in life that we have to do even though we might hate them.
 

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I think degrees are correlated with success because it proves work ethic.

Everything from my computer science and economics schooling could have been had from textbooks cheaply available without costing thousands upon thousands.

And I do mean everything. Worse is that the top rated school I went to, not ivy league but still up there, had literally one exam that actually required thinking and not regurj.

I started a blog 2 months ago and I am already finishing one book.
A blog I cannot judge much but already finishing a book to me says that you're serious.

I wish I had better stood up against my parents that pushed me into uni and just focused on my businesses I had at the time and continued to learn by myself.

I would keep living with them as that is a huge cost savings while asking them to please simply support you in the basic way of letting you live there(and whatever other costs they cover). If they require you to get a basic job until you're making money in your business then accept it if you must, but obviously that will take time and energy away from your business which is not ideal. And otherwise continue working on your books and writing, studying the craft, and make it.

EXPECT your parents to keep pushing you to uni, not supporting you ideally, and so on. Just accept what they say as much as you can and carry on anyways. It's difficult I know, one of my parents thinks my niche can't make money when they themselves have spent stupid amounts of money on it. :rofl:
 

ChrisV

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But you're right. There's tons of information freely available online, but you know what else there's a lot of? Junk. How are you going to know which sources are legit and which aren't? University would give you the tools required to separate the diamonds from the dogshit.
Boom:

 
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VicFountain

VicFountain

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Boom:

I feel like everybody fell for these scams at least once in their lifetime. Luckily, I did when I still was a kid (around 12). Once you get scammed and feel like complete shit afterward, you are less likely to fall for it.

Today, everything that screams "easy" is a scam to me.
I still don't get how many people get scammed by these gurus but, apparently...lots of them.
 

RazorCut

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Thanks for the reply. I understand moving out is not that simple.

My parents have been hindering my self-improvement in the sense that, they keep demotivating me and telling me anything to make me stop improve myself. Yeah, they sound insecure, in all honesty.
Crabs in a bucket.

For example, I've been lifting for 4 years and my parents in the last 1-2 years kept telling how horrible I look, how dangerous proteins are and other non-sense bullshit.
But this is not the point.
Only you can demotivate yourself. Use their negativity as fuel to show them what can be achieved when you have single-minded determination.


They're still plugged-in the matrix and believe a degree is something you must have to survive in this world. When I tell them "What about those millionaires without a degree?" the only reply they can come up with is "They are lucky. You are not them" which just makes me understand even further how my parents are a negative influence in my life.
Your family will judge you on your past outcomes not on your future. I imagine that they feel your failure to study hard enough to gain the grades needed for your choice of uni is a prediction of the likely outcome of any entrepreneurial enterprise you start up. They fear you will end up in debt or worse.

If you don't want to take what is on offer locally, but still want to complete a degree, the obvious option is to study and retake your exams/entry tests for the next induction. In the meantime you could get a job or start a profitable business (which will go a long way to showing your parents you have the potential to be a success on your own terms).

And it doesn't have to be online. Everyone and their dog wants a digital business but there is so much money laying virtually at your feet. You could be making money tomorrow with an offline business. Here are some ideas you can start with only a small amount of capital:

Look at @ChrisGav business here
@Johnny boy Lawn Care here

Window cleaning, gardening, gutter cleaning, painting and decorating, house cleaning.

Also look here for inspiration:


But I have a feeling you wont want to get your hands dirty on any such enterprises but instead want to pin all your hopes on the internet instead.
 
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VicFountain

VicFountain

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Your family will judge you on your past outcomes not on your future. I imagine that they feel your failure to study hard enough to gain the grades needed for your choice of uni is a prediction of the likely outcome of any entrepreneurial enterprise you start up. They fear you will end up in debt or worse.
Yeah, but it's funny because at 15 I was already earning money with a skill I had learned on my own (graphic design). And they weren't even surprised.

And it doesn't have to be online. Everyone and their dog wants a digital business but there is so much money laying virtually at your feet. You could be making money tomorrow with an offline business. Here are some ideas you can start with only a small amount of capital:
I'm sure most of this relates to America. I live in Italy and these kinds of services (manual labor) are all being taken by underpaid non-EU people. It's going to be hard to compete with them when they are okay with being charged 3$ an hour for such services. Now, I'm not going to say all these services are being taken care of, so I'll check them out anyway. Thank you.
 

RazorCut

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I'm sure most of this relates to America. I live in Italy and these kinds of services (manual labor) are all being taken by underpaid non-EU people. It's going to be hard to compete with them when they are okay with being charged 3$ an hour for such services. Now, I'm not going to say all these services are being taken care of, so I'll check them out anyway.
We get that attitude a lot in the UK. People assume that immigrants are taking all the valuable jobs and driving down wages. Yes, in some cases that will be true, however there are always opportunities for those that choose to think first.

I have a construction business that I use to pay the bills at the moment. I'm forever hearing tradesmen moan that they are being undercut by poorly skilled labour, and people don't want to pay a fair price for a decent job. They struggle to earn good money. However it is their mindset that is holding them back not an influx of foreign workers.

Where I live it is a beautiful environment, very touristy, but few well paid jobs. This has an effect on what private individuals and businesses can afford to pay. So the solution is to travel where the pickings are richer then be selective in the contracts you seek.

The ones that complain about lack of well paid work want basic jobs on their doorstep so is it any wonder that many are after the same thing? Then it is just a race to the bottom with 8 people all quoting for the same work for a customer who only cares who can do it the cheapest.

I look for more specialist work. Contracts with bigger clients and homes in expensive locations working on projects that are more challenging.

In other words work that others aren't keen to go after for customers who have deep pockets. I have 2 jobs now that will produce $3500 of profit for around 5 days work.

I have another that I priced on what I thought they could afford (and would be happy) to pay. I priced it on value. It will produce around $1500 of profit for 10 hours of my time but they reported a gross profit of 8 figures last year so a few thousand means nothing to them.

So bear that in mind when you look for opportunities. Being willing to do what others are reluctant to do will pay dividends.
 

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