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Re-introducing myself the right way

natyms

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Hey everybody,

I was so anxious to start this forum, I introduced myself in a shallow way. Not sure who is ready to read all of this, but here is a really long text about how the past years have brought me here:

I am a 34 old girl (I say girl, because in my mind I still feel 21). I have always known I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I always hated working for others but the mix of a)university, friends and family educating you that what you need is a job b)society saying you are successful if you have a great position at a huge company and c) fear made me start quite late.

At 29 I fell into a huge depression and I realized that I just wasn't happy how my life was going, even though it was supposed to be going like that. I am great at marketing and branding, really good, so I decided to open a marketing agency. You can already imagine how it ended. It was my company, but I was everybody's bitch. Having an agency is the worst idea anyone can have. It's like having a regular job, but with more extra hours, more s*** and more stress. At that moment, my depression came back ten times worse, because I felt lost. I didn't know why, if I felt like having my own business was the right thing to do, I was feeling so miserable.

The depression became so bad, I ended up at my mum's (who lives in a beautiful house in Spain in a sunny place near the beach) doing therapy and taking care of myself. During that time, I began to study nutrition and also orthomolecular medicine (which I know for a lot of people is just bs, so I won't go into that). I started a blog in that area, hoping to help more women with different types of problems. The blog bloomed. After only 2 months, I already had almost 1,000 visitors a week and I knew that if I kept working, after a year, it could be huge and I could monetize it. But again, the SCRIPTED way of life brainwashed me....

I was offered a job launching UBER in Germany. Back then, UBER was the coolest company to work at and launching it in Germany a great opportunity (and everybody cared to tell me so), so I took it. I promised myself I would still keep working on my blog and keeping the lifestyle I had build, but after long work hours, going out for drinks to socialize and everything that follows, I soon forgot about the blog and everything I had been working for that year at my mum's.

Let me tell you, UBER was (not sure if it is anymore) a great place to work....if you just finished college. Especially if you haven't seen a lot. But if you are in your 30s and have already traveled and can afford expensive dinners, the brainwashing doesn't work that well. At the global meeting in Las Vegas I began to feel that something wasn't right. I decided I didn't want to be at UBER anymore. I wanted it so bad, I didn't even go to the party where Beyoncé was going to perform for us, because I didn't give a s***. I didn't care about Beyoncé, Las Vegas (which I hate anyway) or the drinks. I just wanted to leave.

So I left, I moved to Munich, I had a great idea for a product, but didn't move forward because a) I wasn't sure how to make it and b) fear (what if it doesn't work and I end up living under a bridge?) I decided to move back to Spain, because there I have my best friends, nice weather and a home that belongs to myself, so I don't have to pay any rent and begin with my idea for real.
And this is for real, just as if the universe would want it, I was literally boarding the plane, I was going up the stairs to enter the aircraft, when my phone rang and it was Amazon offering me this job. It was a great job. The type of job everyone with a SCRIPTED mindset would go "wow, such a good position" and it was really well paid. Everybody told me I should take it, this was too good of a chance. I could always quit if I don't like it. To be honest, I am the type of person who likes to take opportunities when they come along and this felt like a great opportunity. I mean, I had applied to Amazon three times before in my life for worse positions than that one and I always got rejected. So I took it.

I will someday start a thread about the sectarian work culture at Amazon. For now, let me tell you it't the kind of place people admire you and your CV, where you do extra hours without getting paid for them and where 70% of the people you talk to keep saying they hate it and want to leave, but nobody does. At least not for the first 2 years, because the bonus is just too attractive.
I have to admit, the first week I loved. I spent it in a fulfillment center and it was a great experience. To see how it works....crazy. I could also see what it looks like behind the scenes and it was an eye opener as to how much crap there is in the world that people actually buy. Wanna experience consumerism in its worst form? Go to an Amazon Fulfillment center. Amazing.
But after starting the job, I began to run on autopilot. My life consisted of waking up, going there, work, get tons of stress, work, go home, work again, eat, sleep. I became a robot, because I did not want to think about it, but this voice inside kept trying to yell at me "get out, this is not what you want or need".

I have never really been happy at any job, but this here is another level. I spent the christmas holidays in Spain with my family and I got sick the first night. Stomach virus. It usually lasts a day, it took me 4 days to recover. Mainly because my body couldn't deal with the stress and the life I was having. And it was that first night, while I was feeling like crap, that I got my FTE. I was feeling so bad and yet I couldn't stop thinking about me not having checked my emails for 3 days already and every time I thought about having to do that, I had to get up and throw up again. My body was practically telling me that this life was poisoning me.
The worst part? In none of my past jobs have I created anything of value. Even worse, I have the feeling all I am doing is somehow making people's lives worse.

I began to read the fastlane during the holidays and it was a great kick in the a$$. Exactly what I needed. The bad part is that I still need to wait 3 months until I leave, since my contract states that I have 3 months notice. But after this 3 months, I hope to never put myself in this situation again and I am determined to work hard on something that is mine and that actually helps people one way or another.
 
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ocricci

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Hi @natyms

great introduction, thanks for sharing

But if you are in your 30s and have already traveled and can afford expensive dinners, the brainwashing doesn't work that well.

true ! i can relate

Wanna experience consumerism in its worst form? Go to an Amazon Fulfillment center. Amazing.

i am curious lol

Are you planning to restart your blog ?
 

JAJT

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The bad part is that I still need to wait 3 months until I leave, since my contract states that I have 3 months notice. But after this 3 months, I hope to never put myself in this situation again and I am determined to work hard on something that is mine and that actually helps people one way or another.

Word of advice - Spend those 3 months building something NOW.

If you quit, and then start, the only thing you've done is shoot yourself in the foot. Where's the startup capital coming from? How are the bills getting paid before you have sales? If you take profits out of the business to live on - you have nothing left to reinvest for growth.

IMHO get the idea of quitting out of your head and get the idea of growing something into it.

I made the rash mistake of quitting early and living on profits and it's been rough. Simple lemonade stand example:

You buy lemons for $5.
You sell lemonade for $10.
You're hungry so you buy a $5 meal with the profit you just made.
With your last $5 you buy more lemons...

Where is the money to grow this business?
There is none.
You have exactly enough to buy lemons and live on the profit.
That's it.
You never get ahead.

Now, sure, you could just sell more. That would absolutely work. But how do you do that without the money to do so? Advertising costs money. Opening new stands costs money. Selling orange juice in addition to lemonade costs money. Maybe you can skip a few meals here and there to make micro movements but that's not a long term strategy.

But if you keep your job that pays $20 every 2 weeks, and you pay your bills for $10 out of that. Not only do you have $10 left from your job but you have $5 profits from your business. Now you can invest $15 into new products, advertising, new locations, fliers, a megaphone to yell at foot traffic, etc...

Just food for thought. I tend to tell a story similar to this anytime someone says they want to quit their job without some kind of plan already in plan to account for all this.

Welcome to the forum and you had a great introduction :)
 

natyms

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@JAJT Thanks for the advice. And yes, you are absolutely right. I also love the example. The thing is, I already tried that. So, I know what I want to build and to force myself to start while I was on the job, I bought everything I needed for the product. Now, I have been sitting home with 20 boxes full of stuff, because I have not had the time to start. I work over 14 hours a day. The rest of it, I take care of my one year old. In Between all of that, I still need to sleep and eat, something I cannot sacrifice, because if I get sick, what happens to my kid?

I have saved enough money to be able to live for a whole year without having any problems and I even have some money put aside to grow my business, I believe I should be able to make it.
Still, I believe you are right and I am finding ways to have 1 hour every night and 3 to 4 on the weekends to start preparing everything.

@ocricci If you have a fulfillment center somewhere near you, I think in most of them they have visiting hours.
And no, for now I don't think I will re-start the blog. I have a product I created for myself that worked really well for women who want to have children and for breastfeeding mums, so I am concentrating on that now. New mums are also a really good niche.
 
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Rockford

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Terrific introduction, @natyms. Thanks for sharing.

I can relate to the start-stop treadmill of the Slowlane, 9-to-5. The steady income and benefits are a tempting lure. IMO, it can (ironically) be even worse when the job environment is comfortable rather than stressful. It provides even less incentive to build an exit strategy / Fastlane business.

Best of luck as you build your product and your business. Looking forward to following your journey here on the forum.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Excellent intro @natyms -- definitely sounds like an FTE going on!
 

natyms

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Terrific introduction, @natyms. Thanks for sharing.

I can relate to the start-stop treadmill of the Slowlane, 9-to-5. The steady income and benefits are a tempting lure. IMO, it can (ironically) be even worse when the job environment is comfortable rather than stressful. It provides even less incentive to build an exit strategy / Fastlane business.

Best of luck as you build your product and your business. Looking forward to following your journey here on the forum.

It really is tempting. One of my best friend's called me a few days ago and kept ranting for about 40 minutes about how she hates her job. I asked her why not trying entrepreneurship and her answer was "Having your one business is the best, but you never know if it is going to go right or wrong. At least like this I am sure I can pay my bills every month".
I wasn't sure what to say to that, so I just said "you're right somehow", but it made me feel sad.
In her case, it is also understandable, she is a super Sidewalker. She just looooooves to buy stuff.
 
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Rockford

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She just looooooves to buy stuff.

Yes, I think you've summed up the modern mindset in this one statement. Instant gratification / consumerism (part of the Scripted life) outweighs the mid- to long-term rewards of the Unscripted life. :arghh:
 

The EL Maven

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In none of my past jobs have I created anything of value.
Careful with that. You provided value to your employer. Sometimes when you're grinding away, it's difficult to see, but it's there. If you're helping operations, or a division function in some capacity, you were providing value to the company and helping them make billions. Give yourself that credit.

Welcome, and best wishes! I hope to read all about your new fastlane endeavors in the future.
 

natyms

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Careful with that. You provided value to your employer. Sometimes when you're grinding away, it's difficult to see, but it's there. If you're helping operations, or a division function in some capacity, you were providing value to the company and helping them make billions. Give yourself that credit.

Welcome, and best wishes! I hope to read all about your new fastlane endeavors in the future.

Ok, you are right there. I will put it another way "I did not create anything of value to the world". Making rich people richer, apparently that's what I have been doing. Maybe now it's time to make myself rich.
Also, in my company, I would like to hire mostly single mums. I would like to create an environment in which single moms get an opportunity. This is something really close to me.
 
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Kid

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I don't know if there's anything left to say then wishing you best of luck ;)

But seriously. Making a progress thread here (without revealing what your product is) would be good contribution to this forum.
 

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