Personal challenge - no porn, no coffee, more discipline!

[simplymoto]

Hi I am chronicling my challenge.

Background: I am a 35 yo entrepreneur in my 7th year of tech-hood, business are going well and expanding, and there is a chance we can be something bigger. Right now, the firm's limit is my own ability to handle the business and myself, and I've come to realize that personal discipline will be most people's demon, at least it is mine. I want to create the ultimate habit of good life.

No Porn (7th day)
This sounds perverted, but it's something I (or most men?) am addicted to, I used to surf porn almost everyday, and it was really hard to quit (I guess one doesn't quit porn). I am now on my 7th day of abstinence, the longest I've done is a little over a month. I realized by cutting porn I become sharper and clearer, and porn is not on my mind all the time. Expert says that it also improves dating life.

No Fap (7th day)
Almost like porn, and go hand in hand. So yes, I want to get rid of this habit too. I don't think I'll ever quit fap and porn fully, and that's not the point, but I want to reduce the frequency to where it is healthy and I have control over. Incidentally my best social and sex life this year was when I refused to partake in porn and fap.

Daily 30 minutes no interruption of learning
Oh man, today my phone wire broke and I can't charge my phone, that is how I ended up typing this post. Time also seems to move so slow, but so productive. I want to give myself 30 minutes of no interruption to learn something, anything. And right now is learning Spanish

Daily 10 minutes meditation (1st day)
I can't seem to "get" the zen yet, and have only remember doing it in random days. The longest I've done was about two week. I want to give it a go and really make it a habit. The least that comes out of it is that I have my day's to-do items prioritize as I can't do anything other than sit. Of course the best would be to get thoughts our of my head.

No Coffee (cured)
Contentious but I don't have addiction and find quitting easy, I am now on my second month of abstinence and I have abstained before for two months prior before picking up a few cups again.

No Facebook (cured)
F**k FB! I am done with it.

Note: I realized that the secret to creating habits is to record, record, record. Recording progress really works! Secondly, stop using the phone! at least for 30 minutes a day during learning session, or better intermittent 30 minutes without phone.

 

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[reedracer]

Check out brainbuddy app. Something just clicked when I watched this video and I'm at Day 60 no relapses and only a couple times seriously tempted.
Another app for a more general dopamine rewire: Fabulous. I'm probably going to drop BB at $12/month and go with Fabulous for $40 a year going forward. For PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm) The best is brainbuddy.

 

[Rawseed]

No Fap (7th day)
Almost like porn, and go hand in hand.

I hope that joke was intentional.

 

[InfinityStones]

I am glad you deciding to do this man.

Porn is actually a drug. Many men (and women) assume its just a fetish. But its scientifically proven to alter the neuro pathways in your brain.

Basically it will numb your pleasure receptors.

Download an app called FORTIFY. It's legit.

 

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[reedracer]

Forgot to link "Life-changing video"

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU&t=2s

 

[Entre Eyes]

What a headline! If we could just add No Problems to that!

Love the progress!

Moderation is key.

There are alot of diseases out there. I am a long term type of guy but sometimes we just have to apply the what if I got hit by a bus tomorrow question to our approaches in life haha.

No wrecklessness but slight indulgences from time to time.

 

[simplymoto]

What a headline! If we could just add No Problems to that!

Love the progress!

Moderation is key.

There are alot of diseases out there. I am a long term type of guy but sometimes we just have to apply the what if I got hit by a bus tomorrow question to our approaches in life haha.

No wrecklessness but slight indulgences from time to time.

Thanks man!

Yea, absolutely for occasional indulgence. Once I take control of when I want it, then the occasional indulgence can kick in ;-) I am now day 10th of No Porn and No Fap, still going strong with no porn. Meditation is a bit of a hit and miss, tomorrow will be day 3 of meditation. As for 30 minutes of no phone, I am starting right this moment of my second day!

 

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[Entre Eyes]

Thanks man!

Yea, absolutely for occasional indulgence. Once I take control of when I want it, then the occasional indulgence can kick in ;-) I am now day 10th of No Porn and No Fap, still going strong with no porn. Meditation is a bit of a hit and miss, tomorrow will be day 3 of meditation. As for 30 minutes of no phone, I am starting right this moment of my second day!

I really admire that my friend.

Porn is in the eyes of the beholder haha so it can be tricky.

What is selling that new product? A woman in a bikini.

If you still use yahoomail who knows the side bar ad they will use to distract haha.

Uplifting thread. High 5.

 

[whiterabbit]

Why would you want to stop drinking coffee? One or 2 of these a day has been proven to reduce the chances of parkinsons and alzheimer's in later life due to the high amounts of antioxidants and polyphenols. As long as you avoid adding sugar and creamer its almost as healthy as green tea. Plus it tastes good

 

[James Klymus]

I hope that joke was intentional.

I chuckled a bit

 

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[MoneyHacker]

Hi I am chronicling my challenge.

Background: I am a 35 yo entrepreneur in my 7th year of tech-hood, business are going well and expanding, and there is a chance we can be something bigger. Right now, the firm's limit is my own ability to handle the business and myself, and I've come to realize that personal discipline will be most people's demon, at least it is mine. I want to create the ultimate habit of good life.

No Porn (7th day)
This sounds perverted, but it's something I (or most men?) am addicted to, I used to surf porn almost everyday, and it was really hard to quit (I guess one doesn't quit porn). I am now on my 7th day of abstinence, the longest I've done is a little over a month. I realized by cutting porn I become sharper and clearer, and porn is not on my mind all the time. Expert says that it also improves dating life.

No Fap (7th day)
Almost like porn, and go hand in hand. So yes, I want to get rid of this habit too. I don't think I'll ever quit fap and porn fully, and that's not the point, but I want to reduce the frequency to where it is healthy and I have control over. Incidentally my best social and sex life this year was when I refused to partake in porn and fap.

Daily 30 minutes no interruption of learning
Oh man, today my phone wire broke and I can't charge my phone, that is how I ended up typing this post. Time also seems to move so slow, but so productive. I want to give myself 30 minutes of no interruption to learn something, anything. And right now is learning Spanish

Daily 10 minutes meditation (1st day)
I can't seem to "get" the zen yet, and have only remember doing it in random days. The longest I've done was about two week. I want to give it a go and really make it a habit. The least that comes out of it is that I have my day's to-do items prioritize as I can't do anything other than sit. Of course the best would be to get thoughts our of my head.

No Coffee (cured)
Contentious but I don't have addiction and find quitting easy, I am now on my second month of abstinence and I have abstained before for two months prior before picking up a few cups again.

No Facebook (cured)
F**k FB! I am done with it.

Note: I realized that the secret to creating habits is to record, record, record. Recording progress really works! Secondly, stop using the phone! at least for 30 minutes a day during learning session, or better intermittent 30 minutes without phone.

You're doing too many habits at the same time. It's dangerous because i once did that and when i failed one habit, the rest collapsed right after. I'm doing the one-habit-at-a-time thing and everything's going really well. Just do one habit and after you reach day 15 or day 30, go easy at first, don't rush, start the second habit. Just my 2 cents. Go for it, good habit changes life.

 

[Mutant]

Moderation is key.
...
No wrecklessness but slight indulgences from time to time.

Yea, absolutely for occasional indulgence. Once I take control of when I want it, then the occasional indulgence can kick in ;-)

Yup, we all know where we stand with certain things, & what we subsequently can & cannot do e.g.

I've always been able to take or leave alcohol, & I mostly leave it, so it doesn't bother me if I want to drink "a lot" (maybe 3 or 4 drinks for me) on my birthday or something, because I probably won't have had a drink either side of that night for several months. Occasional indulgences = fine.

However, I've always known that if I got into smoking... oh man, there would be times in my life when I would be a proper chain smoker, & it would be hellish to cycle through trying to lower my usage or quit. Hence I just don't go there.

You need to quit something for a time, & all power to you. I hope you get the control you seek & are able to indulge in a way you're happy with in the future.
Bonne chance mon ami!

 

[Entre Eyes]

However, I've always known that if I got into smoking... oh man, there would be times in my life when I would be a proper chain smoker, & it would be hellish to cycle through trying to lower my usage or quit. Hence I just don't go there.

You reminded me my father was very far from a perfect father but he was a master on Smoking.

He simply just handed me a cigarette without teaching me how to smoke one at an early age. I never touched another again in my life

 

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[simplymoto]

I chuckled a bit

At least I got your attention ;-)

 

[simplymoto]

You're doing too many habits at the same time. It's dangerous because i once did that and when i failed one habit, the rest collapsed right after. I'm doing the one-habit-at-a-time thing and everything's going really well. Just do one habit and after you reach day 15 or day 30, go easy at first, don't rush, start the second habit. Just my 2 cents. Go for it, good habit changes life.

Hey, that's a great suggestions! I was tempted to add another habit to my list, and you reminded me that I should master what I have first before taking on more. Thanks!

 

[André Casal]

Forgot to link "Life-changing video"

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU&t=2s

Helpful video, thanks. I downloaded the BrainBuddy app and it's going great until now.

 

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[tylerwilkinson]

“Moderation” with brain altering addiction has been shown not to work for many, many people. For instance: I’ve never met a casual crack head. Sure, he might string some clean time together, but as soon as he decides a hit is a good idea, boom, goodbye money and hello shitfest.

If total abstinence from a behavior with no redeeming value (pornog) is what you need, stick with it!

 

[simplymoto]

My monthly progress update, the first month is almost over!

No Porn (32nd day)
Aiming to break my 35 day streak achieved earlier this year. I have more time to myself, and my social life is also improving, was out with three ladies past month, and two went a little further than just dinner. Maybe it's placebo, but I think ladies are noticing me more. I used to do pickups (please don't judge) and a weird thing happened to me, I used to need to rally myself to talk to ladies, but this month there were a few days it just felt natural to engage in a conversation, I spoke to six women strangers in the past week, without being in the "pickup mode".

No Fap (32nd day)
Well "hand in hand" haha, so no porn also means no fap.

Daily 30 minutes no interruption of learning (around every other day)
This is much more of a hit and miss, I actually failed to do any learning for the past two days, and swap for Netflix. My recent weekend was productive doing 3 x 30 minutes of learning, still I would say I didn't pass this department. And I shouldn't miss today, I will do it now!

Daily 10 minutes meditation (almost daily)
Not sure if I did it every day, I missed quite a few in the beginning because of procrastination. Every day when I wake up, I'd say "Hey let me check WhatsApp first, then I'll meditate", and WhatsApp led to Instagram, and next thing I realized it's time to work. I changed my system and did meditation as the first thing daily - after checking the clock and ignoring social media texts. Overall I say I completed 70% of meditation.

No Coffee, No Facebook (cured)

Conclusion 1st Month
I don't want to overburden myself with this list, but I am also contemplating what to add to it. Maybe I should solidify my daily 30 minutes no interruption of learning and meditation. Before embarking on more tasks. Maybe I should call this October progress. One thing, since this month is my birthday, I don't want this to be a pre-birthday resolution that ends after birthday, therefore maybe it's important to go all the way with the same list in November.

@reedracer Thanks for BrainBuddy and Fabulous. BB's monthly cost is on the high side, would you say Fabulous works well enough for PMO? @InfinityStones , I'll also check out Fortify, thanks! @MoneyHacker Perhaps I am doing too many habits, to be fair, it didn't start when I posted this post, it was already on and off with the list since a few months back, maybe it helped to make it "game on" to really get the whole list going.

 

[reedracer]

@reedracer Thanks for BrainBuddy and Fabulous. BB's monthly cost is on the high side, would you say Fabulous works well enough for PMO? @InfinityStones , I'll also check out Fortify, thanks! @MoneyHacker

Not really. Until you have a good handle on the Porn, I'd stick with it. I did cancel my subscription, but if I get to where I'm spending any time at all feeding the beast, I will go back. Found out if I don't relieve the energy every week or so, my prostate clams up and I have trouble emptying my bladder. I try to relieve the pressure without porn or lusting after another's mate.

 

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[Duat]

Starting with meditation is a great way to start your day.
Have you ever tried doing mantra meditation? For example, I do a few minutes of chanting AUM daily. Like AHH-UUU-MMM, in a really slow and relaxed-pace. I'm not a Hindu, just experimented with it and felt it gave greater benefits than regular meditation. Like deeper relaxing, more focus, feeling more 'in-tune' with my body. According to a study I read ages agooo, it has something to do with how the chanting relaxes the limbic system in the brain. *shrug*

Other than that, great progress! And I do think it's true that most men have a bad habit w/ porn. I personally don't see much wrong with spanking the monkey, but porn is a different beast entirely.

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

Not really. Until you have a good handle on the Porn, I'd stick with it. I did cancel my subscription, but if I get to where I'm spending any time at all feeding the beast, I will go back. Found out if I don't relieve the energy every week or so, my prostate clams up and I have trouble emptying my bladder. I try to relieve the pressure without porn or lusting after another's mate.

You need to find a pelvic floor physical therapist who takes male clients. She will be able to radically change all that.

 

[reedracer]

I've been doing these qi exercise and it helps/

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5l7gXDbkx4

 

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[Primeperiwinkle]

I've been doing these qi exercise and it helps/

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5l7gXDbkx4

Ya but there’s more going on... just trust me dude. Go find a specialist.

 

[simplymoto]

Starting with meditation is a great way to start your day.
Have you ever tried doing mantra meditation? For example, I do a few minutes of chanting AUM daily. Like AHH-UUU-MMM, in a really slow and relaxed-pace. I'm not a Hindu, just experimented with it and felt it gave greater benefits than regular meditation. Like deeper relaxing, more focus, feeling more 'in-tune' with my body. According to a study I read ages agooo, it has something to do with how the chanting relaxes the limbic system in the brain. *shrug*

Thank you! I've done mantra meditation a few years back, I should certainly incorporate the chanting back to my daily ten minutes. Appreciate the reminder.

 

[foodiepersecond]

At least you wont be alone during No Nut November

 

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[simplymoto]

At least you wont be alone during No Nut November

Chuckles

 

[simplymoto]

No Porn & No Fab (0 days)
The challenge ended on the 41st day. My new record. Ironically it happened on a night immediately after I had casual sex. Maybe because of the arousal, it was the same situation the last time the challenge ended.

Meditation (34 days)
I’ve been pretty consistent in this one. One thing that really helps is to meditate first thing in the morning. I must admit though that I've missed 2-3 days in the whole course, is it fair that I just assume that I have done it continously as those days that I just ran out of time and by the time I am done working it's already midnight, or something along those situations. And it suck to start from day zero again because of this misses, sometimes life as an entrepreneur is just unpredictable

Also over this weekend I tried to do it after chores but I realized it is way harder to concentrate once you brain becomes active. I am still not getting the “zen”, but am happy to have the patience to sit through ten minutes a day in calmness, it at least helps me arrange my to-do list for the day, which I know it is not really what meditation is for.

And yes I now includes the chanting. Thanks @Duat ! I'll also try to do it not just during seated medication, such as on the bus gently.

Learning 30 minutes a day without the phone. I failed at this as I've stopped learning Spanish, the motivation died off after the Spanish girl that I was seeing called it quits. I still have strong interest in the language and want to get back in.

Conclusion. Rebooting no porn and no fab but ought to be happy that I made a new record! Still sucked at the 30 minutes no phone learning challenge. And yea I was mildly worried that my goals will sidetrack after my birthday but it didn't!

My challenge in the next two weeks is to maintain this, especially the meditation as I'll be really busy and meditation really helps to keep me grounded and less nervous during the busy meetings andnegotiations coming up.

Finally thanks again for all the gave suggestions and advice, really appreciate this and keep em coming ! Thanks

 

[Low Chi]

following your journey. Maybe consider to replace the habit you want to stop with a habit you want to start. As soon as the old gets triggered, you don't have to resist with nothing. Instead of that you can try to overcome the hurdle by another activity e.g. reading for a timeframe of at least x minutes or sports like "10 situps per triggered event".

My "opinion" to trigger calmness of mind for meditation: you can tell your mind to watch breath instead of processing to-do-lists. If the inner talk starts again, just course correct with the command "watch breath!". Explained in Meditation: NOTABLE! - Billionaire Ray Dalio: Meditation is ‘the single most important reason' for my success

 

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[simplymoto]

following your journey. Maybe consider to replace the habit you want to stop with a habit you want to start. As soon as the old gets triggered, you don't have to resist with nothing. Instead of that you can try to overcome the hurdle by another activity e.g. reading for a timeframe of at least x minutes or sports like "10 situps per triggered event".

My "opinion" to trigger calmness of mind for meditation: you can tell your mind to watch breath instead of processing to-do-lists. If the inner talk starts again, just course correct with the command "watch breath!". Explained in Meditation: NOTABLE! - Billionaire Ray Dalio: Meditation is ‘the single most important reason' for my success

Great reply. There's a saying, always redirect your energy elsewhere, if there's a negative energy redirect elsewhere instead of burying it.

Appreciate your "watch breath"! I am doing the "Ommmm" chanting which is kind of watching breath.

 

[simplymoto]

No Porn & No Fab (21 days and going)
On my 21st day and going. In the past 22 days of abstinence I had three romantic encounters with new friends - placebo or the effect or effect is rubbing on, either way it's good. I also talked to a few female strangers at random without thinking about pickup, so feeling good.

Until now I've already done 41 and 35 days no porn and no fab, remember that a few months ago I had to fab and porn almost every other day.

Meditation (55 days and going)
I almost missed some over the weekend and this was because I checked the phone first after waking up instead of jumping right into meditation in weekends. I've also upped my meditation time to about 13-15 minutes daily. Sometimes I can't stay the 15 minutes and ends up finishing a minute or two earlier before the alarm goes off.

Prior to joining fastlane form, I've only meditated in college when I had social issues, I joined a weekly class that meditated together but it didn't last long and I dropped out.

Learning 30 minutes a day without the phone (FAILED).
I totally forgotten about this, more specifically taking 30 minutes off a day to learn Spanish. Maybe I should be practical and make it three times a week.

Other habits changes
- Using Trello and listing the Top 3 things to be done daily. I am not using it strictly as I sometimes break the "top 3 things" rules, but overall checking Trello daily has helped me shaped what's important daily and weekly. It's especially useful for the little things such as a person that you need to catch up with, in Entrepreneurship and friendship, these are important. I still have a huge personal problem of not following up with important things, major procrastination and forgetfulness, but it has improved because of this new habit. I wonder how I can do a daily personal challenge for this. Any suggestions?