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The Abundant Man

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My son is extremely stubborn, he is perhaps the most stubborn kid I have met in my life.

It's a balance, I let my son pursue his own interests in half his life, he bothered me for some time to get into Tae-Kwon-Do, I agreed once he was old enough to take it seriously and it's a sizable cost actually/good school/very good instructor. The only condition, he has to give it 150% every single class, and if not he will hear from me, I am not afraid to confront him/get in his face if I see laziness, he is free to drop out at any time if he wishes and he knows so without any judgement from me. He doesn't because he enjoys it, he is 7 years old and has one belt away from a black belt, he can't dominate yet because he is young and going up against bigger kids , but he is the best version of himself at that moment in time. I don't compare him against other kids only against himself and if there is improvement even if only 1% I am satisfied.

On the other side of the coin, there are other things he has to do which he doesn't like to do, vacuumn our cars, wash them, water plants, clean, pull weeds, etc. He sees me do the same so as I never ask him to do something to I wouldn't do, he knows I give it 100% in almost any area of life, he can see with his own eyes, am I the best absolutely not, but I try to improve everyday also. This is hard work to be congruent most of time, kid's know when you are bullshitting them a mile away, you cannot fool them as they observe behavior and not words. If they see you are congruent with what you say and do, they will respect you and listen to you.

He didn't say anything but he was watching me hobble around last night around the house after going for a crazy mountain run and I pulled/hurt a calf muscle. I used to be a big trail runner but haven't run in about a year or so as I have been switched primarily to weightlifting. I am starting again and ran at a trail which I do not have the conditioning for, I completed it anyway at the cost of hurting myself just via willpower. When they see this stuff, they realize you are serious and in return they get serious themselves, knowing you won't put up with cupcake bullshit.


As boring as Poomsae(forms) are, it does teach memorization and discipline. In fact forms in martial arts reminds me of Military Drills more than anything because both involve uniformity, memorization of movement in patterns. In order to have it memorized you have to do it correctly over and over again.

Also


Modeling is one of the best teachers for kids. Kids are very monkey see monkey do. It's that story where a guy driving on the road tells his kid to never cuss. Somebody slams into his car. He cusses at the driver. He tells his son, "I shouldn't have said that. Never say that to other people." But then his son starts his dad the same thing. I think this was an episode of Friends also. Monica was watching over Ben(Ross son). She hits her head and cusses then Ben starts saying it. So she gets in trouble.
 

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Envious

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I agree 100%.

If there was one thing I could change about my childhood, I would want MORE struggle, MORE challenges, MORE competitiveness. My parents never pushed me to join a sport/club, or to get a car/job. They raised me to be a cupcake.

I suffer from a disease called average...still searching for a cure...
Amen. This is what the majority of young people in western societies need, more adversity, not less.
 

Longinus

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This was so me in my early twenties. I hated the whole world, but actually I hated myself. The only thing that kept me going was making very dark music and the small success I made with it.

It was until my mid twenties that I found my way to some guru books and later to TMF.

Fast forward a couple years, I can spend my time like I want. Before I didn't believe that was even possible for me.

And now it all makes sense when I hear somebody say: "you become what you think of most":

People being stuck in their jobs, think most of being stuck in their jobs.
People that have no meaning of existence, think most of having no meaning of existence.
People that are massive failures, think most of being massive failures.

TL;DR: Be very careful what you think most of.
 

Silverfox148

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careful with "the black pill" philosophy.
While not a black piller, I actually think this philosophy can do some good for people. To accept it is pretty F*cking hard and is a very bitter pill to swallow. In my opinion it's better than pretending that everything is ok and following the society script and then waking up in your 30s/40s and finding out it was all bullshit.
The key is accepting it and then moving past it, to accept and then the growth can be unlimited once you accept.

Blackpill in the teens/20s at least has the chance to wake them up early, I wish I was F*cking black pill in my teens, I could have transitioned out of it in my early 20s and have gotten a solid 10 years of action and purpose instead of just following the script. Following the script in my opinion is worse than black pill, at least with blackpill you know right away something is F*cking wrong.
 

G-Man

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In the words of the eminent philosopher Betty Draper: Only boring people are bored.

I used to get like this when I was young. It took me while to see the abject selfishness of it. When you're depressed that life is so boring, what you're actually revealing is that you believe the world, and by extension other people, exist to keep you stimulated. It's clothed in a certain Mencken-like philosophical coat, but it's really just garden variety selfishness.

I remember hearing Tom Sowell say once that almost all of what passes for idealism in this world is just narcissism in disguise. I used to think that was a gross over-simplification, but the older I get, the more I see the truth of it.
 

Ernman

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And now it all makes sense when I hear somebody say: "you become what you think of most":
I think it would make a most interesting thread for those who have gone through this and busted out the other end to share the experience. What allowed them to find a way out? What changed? I recognize that is a deeply personal place that many would rightly want to keep private.
 

Longinus

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I think it would make a most interesting thread for those who have gone through this and busted out the other end to share the experience. What allowed them to find a way out? What changed? I recognize that is a deeply personal place that many would rightly want to keep private.
If you want to keep it private, it usually means you still struggle with some demons. I don't.

I had a good youth and very loving parents. Even they went through harsh financial times, they managed to get their five children fed and educated.

I struggled during my adolescence like so many people. Uncertainty quickly led to something to cover this up, in my case extreme metal music combined with extreme clothing (high boots, leather jacket, long hair, metalshirts, this gives a good indication). Nihilism, misantrophy and flirts with extreme political views from both sides were where I believed in.

I was a miserable frustrated boy who craved for female attention all the time. Feeling sorry for myself, being destructive (also towards myself) or extremely drunk were a few of my cries for attention. Makes me cringe when I think back about it.

I saw myself as a worthless victim of this cruel big world and I just wanted the world to know about me.

==> Sounds familiar? This is the profile that terrorists and school shooters possess. Although I never had such plans or never felt any sympathy, I could identify with their frustrations. Just getting on the first page of every newspaper is dream coming true for these guys, even if they're dead afterwards.
Stopping to spend attention to the "killers of school shootouts" is the only way how they can be stopped.

For that reason, I started my own band which led to success which ironically led to less uncertainty.

I realized I created something which people loved. But I was still mad and broke.

Later my friend and bandmate shared books with me like RDPD, Napoleon Hill etc. First I was completely into the LoA and believed I could do anything as long as I believed it. I quit my job and believed I could make a commercial hit song within a few months. That stuff never happened, but at least there was an evolution in my self-belief.

Later in my life I found the "right" books (TMF) that put me on the right path to where I'm now. Not only the book was important for who I'm now, this forum has also made a tremendous impact on the way I think.

Without the last, I don't know where I would be right now but certainly not where I am now.
 

Ernman

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I saw myself as a worthless victim of this cruel big world and I just wanted the world to know about me.

==> Sounds familiar? This is the profile that terrorists and school shooters possess. Although I never had such plans or never felt any sympathy, I could identify with their frustrations. Just getting on the first page of every newspaper is dream coming true for these guys, even if they're dead afterwards.
Stopping to spend attention to the "killers of school shootouts" is the only way how they can be stopped.
For that reason, I started my own band which led to success which ironically led to less uncertainty.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you found a more productive path in life.
 

MNejc

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Damn those snowflakes need some Dan Pena injected in their veins
 

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MaxGorlov

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I think it would make a most interesting thread for those who have gone through this and busted out the other end to share the experience. What allowed them to find a way out? What changed? I recognize that is a deeply personal place that many would rightly want to keep private.
I was fortunately never a 'blackpiller' in this way; I've been reading 'positive' books since my Dad introduced me to self-help at age 12. So my overall outlook on life is essentially grounded in spiritual/ self-improvement literature. I am infinitely grateful for this lucky start.

I feel saddened when I see posts like the one examined on this thread because it just looks to me like wasted potential. The poster is essentially right... You're not going to be the next Marvel superhero. But that's missing the point I think. Not everyone can be a big flashy superstar, but EVERYONE can be a hero (their own hero). It's just a neurological state. To be engrossed in a reality of doom-laden melancholia where you are convinced there's no hope for you is just a state of mind, a configuration of neurons, a set of emotional habits. You're not inherently limited from having a more positive attitude and upregulated serotonin, and hence a more pleasant reality. I can empathise with people not wanting to change their habits or personal reality however; I understand that it's way more easily said than done.

Being a hero just means that you push your own comfort zone, do kind things, and make your best effort to 'put the world to rights' wherever you can. Problems are there to be fixed, not complained about. The cup may be half empty, but the empty half is there for you to fill.

There's a great book called 'The Tao of Pooh'. I try to be Pooh, not Eeyore.

Just my two cents anyway.
 

ZF Lee

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I agree 100%.

If there was one thing I could change about my childhood, I would want MORE struggle, MORE challenges, MORE competitiveness. My parents never pushed me to join a sport/club, or to get a car/job. They raised me to be a cupcake.

I suffer from a disease called average...still searching for a cure...
That last sentence really hit the spot. Rep+!

Speaking of cupcakes...

An FB confessions page on my old high school just popped out.

I generally don't mind a consumer reviews page of sorts, when students want to share about how the school worked for them, but instead, I saw posts filled with Sidewalkish crap.

Boy-girl relationships, passing the blame to teachers, hate this, hate that, this program is stupid...

I just couldn't believe the kids had time to mess up, or complain about that shit.

Back in high school, if I wasn't trying to get good grades, I was going for clubs, uniform groups or working at my writing skills. There was always plenty to do every week, instead of sinking in negativity and passing the buck.

I thought I should leave some bread crumbs on that page, like Vig and the others do here, but I figured out that the folks there would not appreciate it.
 

PizzaOnTheRoof

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That last sentence really hit the spot. Rep+!

Speaking of cupcakes...

An FB confessions page on my old high school just popped out.

I generally don't mind a consumer reviews page of sorts, when students want to share about how the school worked for them, but instead, I saw posts filled with Sidewalkish crap.

Boy-girl relationships, passing the blame to teachers, hate this, hate that, this program is stupid...

I just couldn't believe the kids had time to mess up, or complain about that shit.

Back in high school, if I wasn't trying to get good grades, I was going for clubs, uniform groups or working at my writing skills. There was always plenty to do every week, instead of sinking in negativity and passing the buck.

I thought I should leave some bread crumbs on that page, like Vig and the others do here, but I figured out that the folks there would not appreciate it.
Thanks so much!

I’m tempted to find one for my school but truth is I don’t really care that much lol.

Good video on why millennials/gen x are seen as lazy:
 

rogue synthetic

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I sympathize with the guy in the OP. No hate from me. That guy was me in another life.

I know it's easy for us to say "but why don't they just realize that they can change and go build the next billion dollar company?"

They don't see it that way.

I'm glad that I found MJ's books because they were a big part in my coming to accept that the future can be yours if you work for it.

But I had to come to those books ready to hear the message. If I'd come to them just a few years earlier, I'd have responded to MJ's message in the same way that some of our local skeptics have responded to Tony Robbins.

When you think like these guys, there is no such thing as hope. You're so caught up in the gloom that you can't see the sun on a bright spring day. All that sunshine is just making shadows.

It's sad, but it's also an entirely predictable consequence of the world we've all decided is great to live in. Lots of opportunity, and damn hard for a good chunk of the population to even realize it's there.

This isn't a problem of education or learning more. It's a whole lot more to do with the expectations people are saddled with at most every waking moment, from parents to teachers to the idiots on TV and the bigger idiots on social media.

You raise kids in a cesspool and you're surprised they notice that the world stinks.
 

Ernman

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I sympathize with the guy in the OP. No hate from me. That guy was me in another life.

I know it's easy for us to say "but why don't they just realize that they can change and go build the next billion dollar company?"

They don't see it that way.

I'm glad that I found MJ's books because they were a big part in my coming to accept that the future can be yours if you work for it.

But I had to come to those books ready to hear the message. If I'd come to them just a few years earlier, I'd have responded to MJ's message in the same way that some of our local skeptics have responded to Tony Robbins.
Well said rogue. It's easy for those of us that have NOT gone through such a dark time to just say, "get off your lazy a$$ and make something happen." I'm grateful that my eyes were opened to the challenges faced by those in dark places. I remind myself every day, there, but by the grace of God, go I.
 

SquatchMan

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The ironic thing is that overcoming an immense personal struggle/challenge is the only cure to depression, but the men with that mentality actively avoid struggles and challenges. It's just a negative feedback loop.

They either come to that realization on their own or a strong leader inspires them to do something challenging. Trying to logically convince someone to take on a huge struggle/challenge doesn't work.
 

luniac

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Brian Suh

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Just found this Picture on Reddit - So many People out there that feel stuck and think they dont have control over own lives. this makes me sad.


Coming back to this thread. This is HIS view. Life isn’t that bad. Even if it is the same old day, it’s your perspective. There are plenty of farmers in the empty fields who are satisfied and content. The fact that we live in a modern society expecting a life like iron man tony stark is what makes us depressed. If you challenge me to be happy in Antarctica with the knowledge to survive and eat, I can guarantee I can.
 

ideasunlimited1

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Most of the folks that like and agree with this meme are the same folks that say my books (and my message) are a scam.

They aren't interested in change, they're interested in confirming their victim identity through shared communal misery.

It's sad.

But the answers are out there. And it's why I keep writing.
This is a huge part of incel culture: glorification of victim hood and blaming everyone for how their life is going. I get the sense that these same kind of individuals have been coddled by their parents, and expect life to take care of them the same way. As if just because food magically appeared to them, why shouldn't a job or a hot spouse. People who want change will find it MJ, and your book is an avenue for how to take those steps.
 

AshrafI

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I recommended TFM to several of my friends, even went out of my way to personally give a copy to one of them.
None of them bothered opening it yet, despite seeing the kind of changes I went through after reading it and everyone commending me for it.

Maybe once they see my millions and tell me for the millionth time how lucky I was, and me reminding them of the book, they might actually read it.
Maybe.
Exactly the same problem here, I bought TMF for my cousin and highly recommended it to him and told him that it won't affect me if you don't read the book because I've already read it, and you will be the one missing out on a goldmine of information. He hasn't even started reading it. He saw me on this forum and making my cold-calling script, and the first thing he said was,
"Why are you doing this? Is there any point in doing this? You haven't made any money from it. You should be studying to get a high paying job."

The problem with these people is that all they care about is the event and they don't want to hear about the process.
 

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MJ DeMarco

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"Why are you doing this? Is there any point in doing this? You haven't made any money from it. You should be studying to get a high paying job."
LOL, as we say around here (and are happy for it) the world needs compliant and unquestioning employees.
 

Silverfox148

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This is a huge part of incel culture: glorification of victim hood and blaming everyone for how their life is going. I get the sense that these same kind of individuals have been coddled by their parents, and expect life to take care of them the same way. As if just because food magically appeared to them, why shouldn't a job or a hot spouse. People who want change will find it MJ, and your book is an avenue for how to take those steps.
This is what I keep coming back to, it's pure victimhood/slave thinking, as I point out constantly, it's not their fault, it's the fault of the parent. These guys simply didn't face enough adversity in life as children, when I point this out to them, they come back with wanting to place blame, but it's too late for that. They equate adversity with , "I saw the whole financial world was bullshit, my parents got their house taken away", if you didn't have to fix it, it's not adversity. Simply put they are mental cupcakes. I just lost a very close family member male in his 20s to this type of shit, he didn't get to experience the same mental hardening I had from the parents, yet the expectations where the same or even higher for him. It's like sending people to war without weapons, it's insane, then they turn to this incel shit, or an even bigger problem: drugs, when they can't meet the expectations set by themselves with the help of society.

There are a ton of these guys, the girls of the generation are also the same but it manifests differently, but we will save that for another day. I'm focused on helping the guys. Go and hand pick dried/red chile in New Mexico at 50 cents a 15 gallon bucket in November at 5AM while the ground is all soggy/muddy because it just rained. Want to make 50 dollars a day? Guess what you gotta pick 100 buckets .....:):) , do 12 hours in the fields of the New Mexico hot sun for 10-12 hours during the summer, then you will see real adversity.
 

Mckenzie

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Just found this Picture on Reddit - So many People out there that feel stuck and think they dont have control over own lives. this makes me sad.

In life, sometimes one experiences the "dark nights of the soul" and it's very hard to snap out of it. It could take few days or even few years...and I've seen people who never able to!...
Thanks for the post and all the replies. They're very educational and eye-opening.
 
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TJH

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What the heck is wrong with people?!? They do not realize that life is hard, yet today, in 21st century America, we still have opportunities. And for those that don't have or don't take advantage of those opportunities, life is still good for many people, compared to 100 years ago. If my mood is poor, I close my eyes and think about how worse my life could be, what I am grateful for, and what one thing can I do today to make my own and others lives better. A bit of nihilism is ok, but wallowing in that vs realism, or even slight blind optimism is surely better.
 

Bekit

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I think it would make a most interesting thread for those who have gone through this and busted out the other end to share the experience. What allowed them to find a way out? What changed? I recognize that is a deeply personal place that many would rightly want to keep private.
Here's one from earlier in the thread—and it really caught my attention.

My goal is to make a book discussing how depression isn’t a brain chemical imbalance but it’s bexause your literal god damn soul is being pulled apart by society and outside influences. Once you have your soul intact and firm, life is an endless adventure where your filled with gratitude and joy. I’ve been on two sides of the coin and it is the difference between swimming in a shallow pool with piss and poop and swimming in a clear turquoise water lake filled with surges of waves and currents that makes it a blast to swim while challenging and stimulating. Life is all about perspective.
Hold on, I'm super intrigued. @Brian Suh - How'd you get your soul intact and firm again?

Can you elaborate? How'd you experience the transformation from one side of the coin to the other?
 

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