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RANT My brother tried to kill me and my family did nothing about it.

Xeon

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But I would say get away from there, at least as far as Harrisburg or Hagerstown, or (why not dream?) someplace super far out of reach, like Arizona.
Arizona. Yes, especially Arizona. The Home of the FastLaners. :cool:
 

Ninjakid

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Arizona. Yes, especially Arizona. The Home of the FastLaners. :cool:
If depression was a place, it would be Baltimore.

Hey there's a positive spin, OP gets to move somewhere nice and never look back!

 

NewManRising

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The only thing I will say is get away from your family ASAP and any way you can. This should be your priority before anything. Aside from the abuse, this is not an environment you can be creative in and grow. It is just not possible. Once you separate, do yourself a favor and cut your brother off for good.

If you'd like to keep contact with other family members, do so on your terms and have some hard boundaries.

Good luck.
 

Daniel Davis

Bronze Contributor
Jul 4, 2018
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Hey Daniel, I'm really sorry about what happened to you.

I agree with all the others who posted here saying to get out of there, fast.

One idea I had for how your exit strategy could actually work in the short term: Get a blue collar job. Why? Because there is a shortage of labor, driving wages up. If you're able bodied and willing to work, you may be able to get a $20/hour job instead of the $10/hour one you have. That way, you can have a little bit more breathing room for affording basic stuff while you design the life you want.

Read this thread where the forum members discussed the blue collar opportunity in detail.
Blue Collar Recession

But I would say get away from there, at least as far as Harrisburg or Hagerstown, or (why not dream?) someplace super far out of reach, like Arizona.

Here's an article that explores the cost of living in various metropolitan areas in the US, and hey look, Harrisburg is ranked #1 for the most affordable compared to the price of a house.

How Many Years of Income Does a Home in Your City Cost? - CityLab

Do you have a vehicle?
@Bekit. No I do not have a vehicle
 

Raoul Duke

I'm not going to live by their rules anymore.
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LinorCG

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I'm sorry to hear that! Get out...get out now!
Start over again 'coz you're stronger now than ever before. Also, see someone who is expert in family violence.

I wish you good luck and be safe my friend.
 

Ravens_Shadow

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Sorry that this is what you're going through. I had similar experiences on a mental level rather than physical. Packed my shit and moved across the country with nothing but 2 suitcases and a could hundred dollars.. You could do anything from exchanging work on a farm for housing to joining the peace corps and getting sent to another country. Plenty of options out there for you, but you've gotta go as everyone else has said.

Good luck.
 

Daniel Davis

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Jul 4, 2018
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7501429D-09D5-4386-AABD-9E64BAAF6A6B.jpeg @GoGetter24. The plan I have so far is to crash at friends place for now. Then I will do the Year Up program for cyber security. It’s for one year where you will spend months in training/development classes and the other six months interning at a fortunate 500 company.

Once I complete the program, I will have lifetime access to their resources and network/connections. Also, they are located in seventeen different states including Arizona and Greater Philadelphia (these are the two places I want to move to, so I need to WADM to pick one). When I move to my new place, I will have people that can help me secure the job.

I’ll type the rest when I am done with my shift @ 5:30 (ten hours on Tuesday)
57A47640-7CE9-4ED2-9CDC-E7A40E3EFA52.jpeg
 

Mattie

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Long story short, my brother,26, tried to kill me by choking me out to death because he doesn’t like his life circumstances. He has felonies on his criminal record, baby mama drama, a child he can’t afford, works as a shitty tow truck driver for low pay, and hates his life. He projects his problems onto me. He never takes responsibility or accountability for his actions. What’s frustrating is that this is not his first time doing this to me and has been a reoccurring problem growing up with him. While my mother does NOTHING about it. She has allowed other people to abuse since childhood but always blame me for it.

Now that the aftermath is over, I have a swollen neck/jaw, bloody eye, bruised elbows and knees. It’s hard to open my mouth and bend my knees. I called the national suicide hotline number to discuss what happened, but my brother overheard me and put me in a chokehold while he tried to break my phone. “I’m not afraid to kill you.”

You can go to the local Domestic Violence center in your area. They usually have a counselor there who will help you work out a plan, share legal resources that might be available, perhaps a men's private shelter, or public shelter, other resources. If you have a job, sometimes they have group homes you can pay to rent a room and share space for eating, entertainment etc. It just depends on where you live, and available. Your churches, an non-profits usually have lists of services available in your area.

My mother and uncle will allow him to do whatever he wants to me, but it’s a problem if I do something about it (he could stab me for the fun of it and they will find a way to blame me) . He said “if you call the police and someone comes to this house, you will see what happen.” He told me “i’m not afraid to kill yo punk a$$ and I will do it.” Ironically, my mother witnessed him put me in a choke hold and didn’t do anything about it. I’m on the ground begging for my life, as I am about to past out/die. I felt powerless. How the F*ck can you watch him choke me to death,slam my head onto the floor, and watch an attempted murder go on?

I don’t have anywhere to move/ go to, friends places to move into. I don’t earn enough money to move out yet ($10.50 an hour aka minimum wage in my state). I hate living with this toxic family. I know there isn’t much this forum can do about it, but I need a place to vent because I feel helpless right now due to having no one to turn too. I’m afraid this situation will end with me being dead because of his mistakes. I cannot stand people with an external locus of control. Let’s use logic, even if he did kill me will that fix your life problems? Will your child support go away? Will you earn more money? Will those felonies disappear from your criminal record? Will those treasonous choices you made go away?Will your responsibilities as a father of a seven year old girl go away? Nope...but guess what he’s a sidewalker so he does not want to think about the long term consequences of his choices.

As for an action plan, I will seek out a counselor to talk and see what a restraining order can do against him. On a positive note, I got accepted into a program called Year Up and I will enroll into the cyber security courses (it’s free for one year). I will use this program to develop my skills to earn enough money to get my first apartment.

On page 365 of Unscripted where it talks about negative/destructive people, I am cutting contact from my toxic family once I am financially independent. The only sad thing is my seven year old niece sees me as her father figure because I show her love and support than her real father does. I will figure out a solution to this problem.
 

ironman150

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Take care of yourself now, then fastlane.

For immediate help (like right NOW) your situation is bad enough for: Baltimore County Westside Men's Shelter 410-887-4091 or Karis Home 410-342-1323, Baltimore Outreach Services 410-752-1285. There are many places that will help you NOW. How about a homeless shelter? shelterlist.com list all of them in your region and some shelters help you transition to your own place.

Get rid of your phone so your family can't track it. Just leave it on the kitchen counter so they know they can't find you with an added bonus that your brother will realize you left him. You left him..he doesn't control you anymore. I would leave a note with it so they don't call the police and report you missing. My note would say "tired of being abused, goodbye". Keep it simple with nothing you may regret years down the road...like "you *^%# mother-@#$%! rat-@#$%" etc, simple and classy.

Once out of the house, does your cyber security pay you as you learn? If not, the trades are hiring all over the place (especially plumbing & heating). You will get paid well and be self sufficient in your future (though not fastlane). Tignall Mechanical is a GREAT place to work in Baltimore: 410-666-3000. Owned by Michael Harper. Tell him that Jerry Tignall (son of the founder) said to call because it was a good place to work and learn the trades. I am not Jerry BTW but work with him here in the midwest. Jerry still talks to several people there and they can't find enough workers. Dropping his name will get you an interview for sure & probably hired, after that it will be your work ethic that keeps you there. Pays much more than minimum and they pay for your schooling. Cyber learning at night?

Also, paratransit Drivers are needed badly in Baltimore if you have a drivers license. These are normally multi location companies so you could start in a different area of Baltimore and, after some training, transfer to a different part of the country (again not fastlane). Again, pays more than minimum if you are reliable.

So, you have options. 1) get out of there...paragraphs 1&2
2) improve you cash flow...paragraph 3&4.
3) FASTLANE life after 1&2.

i wish you the best of luck, stay strong and Fastlane on!
 

jlwilliams

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This is a case where joining the military may be your best bet. It would take you out of the house without you having to pay rent. It would give you a place to be and a place to grow for a few years while you figure out what to do with the rest of your life.

You cant fix him. You cant fix anyone but you. Leave. Join the Navy, see the world. Don't tell them you are going until you walk out the door to catch the bus.
 

Daniel Davis

Bronze Contributor
Jul 4, 2018
25
114
39
Take care of yourself now, then fastlane.

For immediate help (like right NOW) your situation is bad enough for: Baltimore County Westside Men's Shelter 410-887-4091 or Karis Home 410-342-1323, Baltimore Outreach Services 410-752-1285. There are many places that will help you NOW. How about a homeless shelter? shelterlist.com list all of them in your region and some shelters help you transition to your own place.

Get rid of your phone so your family can't track it. Just leave it on the kitchen counter so they know they can't find you with an added bonus that your brother will realize you left him. You left him..he doesn't control you anymore. I would leave a note with it so they don't call the police and report you missing. My note would say "tired of being abused, goodbye". Keep it simple with nothing you may regret years down the road...like "you *^%# mother-@#$%! rat-@#$%" etc, simple and classy.

Once out of the house, does your cyber security pay you as you learn? If not, the trades are hiring all over the place (especially plumbing & heating). You will get paid well and be self sufficient in your future (though not fastlane). Tignall Mechanical is a GREAT place to work in Baltimore: 410-666-3000. Owned by Michael Harper. Tell him that Jerry Tignall (son of the founder) said to call because it was a good place to work and learn the trades. I am not Jerry BTW but work with him here in the midwest. Jerry still talks to several people there and they can't find enough workers. Dropping his name will get you an interview for sure & probably hired, after that it will be your work ethic that keeps you there. Pays much more than minimum and they pay for your schooling. Cyber learning at night?

Also, paratransit Drivers are needed badly in Baltimore if you have a drivers license. These are normally multi location companies so you could start in a different area of Baltimore and, after some training, transfer to a different part of the country (again not fastlane). Again, pays more than minimum if you are reliable.

So, you have options. 1) get out of there...paragraphs 1&2
2) improve you cash flow...paragraph 3&4.
3) FASTLANE life after 1&2.

i wish you the best of luck, stay strong and Fastlane on!
@ironman150. Yes it pays for you to learn. Whatever my Pell Grant does not cover, I will get the rest in a reimbursement check and they will cover my cost. Also it is $200 every two weeks for the first six months. Then when you are in the internship phase, it’s $700 a month.

I don’t have my license and my permit expired. I needed someone to give me behind the wheel lessons but my mother was “busy” (it wasn’t a priority for her because eating junk food and watching tv was more important.)

The cyber security training is from 8:30am to 4:00pm so it is something I cannot do at night. Thank you for information you gave me.
 

G-Man

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Daniel Davis

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Also, I hate to say this, but seems like your brother belongs right INSIDE a psychiatric hospital / lunatic asylum, tied up in a straitjacket to prevent him committing violent acts on the staff there.
Your family members need some counselling as well to discover the truth as to why they are not speaking up for you (this is ABNORMAL behavior).[/QUOTE]

Trust me, we attempted consueling in November of 2015 and it failed. She was unwilling to acknowledge my pain and only cared when it affected her. For example, she will justify his behavior (choking me to death, Maced and taxed, hit with a baseball ball, lied to the police and got me arrested) and I am expected to “shut the F*ck up and deal with it/ get over it.” She never told the people what he did to me, but everything I did (protraying this felony as an angel).

He can take his frustrations and problems onto me but if i call the police or complain about the mental trauma I experience, it’s an issue. They will get rid of any evidence i have on them and frame me as a bad guy, won’t tell them about their abuse onto me.

My family is just as sick, twisted, and evil as him.

They can go F*ck themselves because I will not associate myself evil miserable people Even after the incident, they expect me to ok and be a happy human being. For example, I just got home and I am still pissed about what happened on 3/10/19. Yet they are worried about me leaving the F*cking door open (I was in the heat of the moment and frustrated due to their lack of empathy and “get over it attitude.”) He is rarely home on the weekdays and sometimes on the weekends. I will avoid him.

Also, they’re delusion about the situation. He tried to kill me numerous times before, yet they think I am trying to kill them. I never had intentions to do ill acts because I know a treanous choice will lead me to life in prison (I have friends who are in prison for murder and they threw their entire lives away for nothing and I refuse to do the same thing). Thinking about it just pisses me off. This will turn into a 20 page essay so I will stop ranting. On the flip side, I have my barber who will help me and I have a friend who let me stay at their apartment. He has to get permission from his mother first (he’s in the army), I know i’ll be able ton roommate with him (friends since 5th grade - 2009)
 

Daniel Davis

Bronze Contributor
Jul 4, 2018
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I’d like to ask, what can we at the forum do to help you?
There’s not much the forum can do because they have been helpful.I’m grateful for the support because the police have been involved before but I was protrayed as the bad guy. Based on the advice posted, I should

1. Move out (contact old friends or go to a homeless shelter)
2. Get a higher paying job
3. Save money from the job
4. Leave the state (For me it’s either Arizona or Pennsylvania. I’m looking to live in an affordable state)
5. Find an affordable apartment.

My last reply was frustration because of the hyprocise of family. They think I’m trying to kill them, when it’s my brother that wants to kill me but expect me to have a smile on my face and forget what happened.

I am going to use this forum as evidence to the police to have something against him.
 
Last edited:

MJ DeMarco

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Take care of yourself now, then fastlane.

For immediate help (like right NOW) your situation is bad enough for: Baltimore County Westside Men's Shelter 410-887-4091 or Karis Home 410-342-1323, Baltimore Outreach Services 410-752-1285. There are many places that will help you NOW. How about a homeless shelter? shelterlist.com list all of them in your region and some shelters help you transition to your own place.

Get rid of your phone so your family can't track it. Just leave it on the kitchen counter so they know they can't find you with an added bonus that your brother will realize you left him. You left him..he doesn't control you anymore. I would leave a note with it so they don't call the police and report you missing. My note would say "tired of being abused, goodbye". Keep it simple with nothing you may regret years down the road...like "you *^%# mother-@#$%! rat-@#$%" etc, simple and classy.

Once out of the house, does your cyber security pay you as you learn? If not, the trades are hiring all over the place (especially plumbing & heating). You will get paid well and be self sufficient in your future (though not fastlane). Tignall Mechanical is a GREAT place to work in Baltimore: 410-666-3000. Owned by Michael Harper. Tell him that Jerry Tignall (son of the founder) said to call because it was a good place to work and learn the trades. I am not Jerry BTW but work with him here in the midwest. Jerry still talks to several people there and they can't find enough workers. Dropping his name will get you an interview for sure & probably hired, after that it will be your work ethic that keeps you there. Pays much more than minimum and they pay for your schooling. Cyber learning at night?

Also, paratransit Drivers are needed badly in Baltimore if you have a drivers license. These are normally multi location companies so you could start in a different area of Baltimore and, after some training, transfer to a different part of the country (again not fastlane). Again, pays more than minimum if you are reliable.

So, you have options. 1) get out of there...paragraphs 1&2
2) improve you cash flow...paragraph 3&4.
3) FASTLANE life after 1&2.

i wish you the best of luck, stay strong and Fastlane on!
Rep+ ... great post.
 

Daniel Davis

Bronze Contributor
Jul 4, 2018
25
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@Daniel Davis, how are you? Any updates?
Right now, I crash at a friend’s place and visit on the weekends (every other week) to see my niece. She’s seven and looks up to me. Also, i don’t want to be out of her life yet. He doesn’t do anything if I cross paths with him.

Besides hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), I am doing fine.I am working on getting my license to have some freedom and saving up money.
 

ZF Lee

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Right now, I crash at a friend’s place and visit on the weekends (every other week) to see my niece. She’s seven and looks up to me. Also, i don’t want to be out of her life yet. He doesn’t do anything if I cross paths with him.

Besides hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), I am doing fine.I am working on getting my license to have some freedom and saving up money.
Great job on doing what needs to be done.

Really respect your courage and discipline!

You will make it, and even more!
 

Wiggly0607

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May 1, 2013
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Right now, I crash at a friend’s place and visit on the weekends (every other week) to see my niece. She’s seven and looks up to me. Also, i don’t want to be out of her life yet. He doesn’t do anything if I cross paths with him.

Besides hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), I am doing fine.I am working on getting my license to have some freedom and saving up money.
You don't realize it now, but you're a tough kid, and this terrible experience you are going through is going to make you tougher down the road, a better person, a better Fastlaner, a better dad, partner, etc.

Keep focusing on your goals! Build yourself up little by little. And keep posting on here, you have lots of smart, supportive people behind you!
 

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