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Leaving behind friends and loved ones

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Brian Suh

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I don’t think they will ever change their ways. I also love them dearly but my dreams are screaming for me to grab them. Life is like a car and people or things are like parachutes or engines. They’r either help or supercharge your dreams. Do I just have to man up and cut the ties and never look. Back?
 
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Timmy C

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I don’t think they will ever change their ways. I also love them dearly but my dreams are screaming for me to grab them. Life is like a car and people or things are like parachutes or engines. They’r either help or supercharge your dreams. Do I just have to man up and cut the ties and never look. Back?


No one can tell you that.

Family is a bit extreme, but then again I don't know these people and how they treat you.
 

ZF Lee

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Generally speaking, as your Fastlane venture gets you much more busier, you’ll spend less time with family, and of course, be irritated less by their antics.

Of course though, you run the risk of triggering family members who are too ‘attached’ to you.

But that’s for you to find out, and it doesn’t happen to everyone.

If you need to cut yourself away completely though, you’ll need to find ‘replacement’ folks who are Fastlane-minded, yet have the same personal understanding that family typical affords.

Would you be able to mastermind such an effort in your networking circles?

Would consume your emotional bank account heavily.

That’s why I wouldn’t encourage a total breakaway from family, unless they are vicious criminals lol.

It’s less discussed here, but IMO, family dysfunctionality is just about as bad as a tall issue as divorce rates and ‘picking up chicks’ culture.
 

Rawseed

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Love your family. Respect your family's views and beliefs.

Be sympathetic. But, don't be empathetic.

Change is hard. Your words have no chance of changing them.

Become successful. Your actions and results have a small chance of changing them. That's your best bet.

Walk the path that you want them to walk.

Become the change you want to see.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA37Aed3yak
 
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ChrisV

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Don't burn any bridges when it comes to your family lol.. if you have to take a break, take a break, but don't completely cut them off forever. keep your distance for a bit and once you're stable and where you want to be start talking to them again if you wish. but that's your family dude.. don't do anything that will have permanent effects
 

Sadik

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I don’t think they will ever change their ways. I also love them dearly but my dreams are screaming for me to grab them. Life is like a car and people or things are like parachutes or engines. They’r either help or supercharge your dreams. Do I just have to man up and cut the ties and never look. Back?
"Never" is too permanent a word. As a rule in business or in relationships, don't burn your bridges. Communicate your perspective. Don't use any absolute sentences, like don't say "You never understand me", instead say, "You are not understanding me in this matter". Too many relationships have been destroyed by such absolute statements which you can then not take back and they leave permanent scars.

Communicate your perspective, take a break or move on but do it in such a manner that you remain on talking terms or can at least talk to each other after some time passes and can in longer run repair relationships.
 

Brian Suh

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This post reeks of excuses (talking about me). The path to ultimate freedom is to fulfill my dreams and destiny even if that means leaving behind those I grew up with. Does an eagle ask for permission to fly and stick by those he grew up with or does he do his own thing
 
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mrsweet

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I don’t think they will ever change their ways. I also love them dearly but my dreams are screaming for me to grab them. Life is like a car and people or things are like parachutes or engines. They’r either help or supercharge your dreams. Do I just have to man up and cut the ties and never look. Back?

I'm having the same issues as well, and I try my best to not do work at home because they are so unsupportive of what I do. You have to be mentally and emotionally strong to overcome this
 

Tiago

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Solais

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I don’t think they will ever change their ways. I also love them dearly but my dreams are screaming for me to grab them. Life is like a car and people or things are like parachutes or engines. They’r either help or supercharge your dreams. Do I just have to man up and cut the ties and never look. Back?

You don't have to cut ties.

"Shut up and do what you need to do." ~ The epitome of manhood
 
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John D.

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'Friends' are dispensable and quality friends are rare. That's what I think.

And I think that no matter how good of a friend they are to you, they will eventually succumb to the 'crab mentality', start to secretly envy you and make passive-aggressive efforts to get you down to their level. (I experienced this on my skin.)

My advice? Find friends who share the same values. Go make an active effort to meet these people.

I also think completely cutting off your family is the wrong move. My advice is to keep your distance if you must, but stay in touch.

(You also never know when life's going to force you back into mom's basement, so at least there's that. :) )
 

Rem

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I used to sound just like this. Whine, bitch, and moan about other people and how they were slowing me down. I don't know your situation but I just ended up going about my own business. If they try to stop you just smile and give them a wink and continue on your business. they'll respect you more for doing your own thing and being your own man (or woman). And no need to worry about what others think of ya. Just be nice to them. they're people too. It doesn't mean you have to go hang out with them and listen to their drivel. Just make yourself too busy to have to sit there and put up with them.

It works for me... :smile:

Edited to add. But I love my family no matter how crazy they are. It's my belief that success in business and life begins with relationships. If you can learn to "fix" yourself, others will adapt around you. It's not easy. I was verbally abused for years. Instead of trying to change others, I changed myself. It was the one thing I could control.
 
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Adelaide

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Welcome! You are not alone! :)

Okay - my advice is to treat this like a learning experience; a chance to hone your mental discipline, people skills and general self-management.

This looks different depending on
- Your family
- Your stage in life / their stage in life
- Your personality
- You business stage
- Your self-awareness, EQ (and people skills)


For me? I am cautious of who I see and when. I'm aware of the affect and influence I allow others to have. I'm highly sensitive to the stage my business is at, where I am at emotionally... (eg, If I'm struggling with entrepreneurial issues, I come on here.. I DON'T talk to family about it.) I may see family/friends for an hour here for there, but I don't allow it to consume my life.

Also, I know WHAT I AM DOING and WHY. Keeping this as my focus is key.

If you cut out everyone because they aren't at the same stage as you, you're limiting yourself. Instead, see how you can use this frustration to your benefit (eg, opportunity to learn self-management.. etc).
 

Brian Suh

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I don’t think they will ever change their ways. I also love them dearly but my dreams are screaming for me to grab them. Life is like a car and people or things are like parachutes or engines. They’r either help or supercharge your dreams. Do I just have to man up and cut the ties and never look. Back?
Cut em out for good. They aren’t even good friends. I’m telling you, their attitude towards life is the same with their friends. They aren’t present and are only in superficial relationships just as how they are in jobs they hate for money and status. Fvck em.
 

André Casal

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Hello Brian. I get what you're going through. I think this may be able to help: DeFOO! —Permanently Cutting Off Abusive Biological Relations (A Very Good & Healthy Thing to Do)

Also remember that "abusive" doesn't need to be physical. There is A LOT of psychological abuse that just goes unchecked in today's society. A good metric for if you should keep someone around is how you usually feel around them. Feel safe, loved, respected? Keep them. Feel ignored, violated, sad? Keep them at a distance. For example, my parents, particularly my mother is extremelly toxic, dependent and coersive. I keep her at a distance but I choose to call her every now and then, 100% conscious that when I talk to her, I have to be mindful and pay attention to mine and her behaviour and try to correct it in real time. About half the times we end the phone call on a sad, coercive or otherwise negative note. But I choose to keep doing it, because I feel I have the mental fortitude not to judge as hard as I used to, but still make sure our relationship doesn't go outside the bounds of rationality, compassion and respect.
 
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