Jokes

[JesseO]

I think ya missed the joke, Bear

 

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[andviv]

Vji Qsitofipv ot sijiestoph jot tqiidj gus vji Ciokoph 2008 Umznqod Henit. Ji cihopt jot sineslt xovj, "Uuu! Uuu! Uuu! Uuu! Uuu!" Onnifoevimz jot tqiidj xsovis satjit uwis epf xjotqist op vji Qsitofipv't ies, "Ns. Qsitofipv, vjuti esi vji Umznqod sopht. Zuas tqiidj ot apfispievj!"

 

[andviv]

Si: Kulit - Ipvsiqsipiastjoq nopftiv

E movvmi umf mefz xet xemloph fuxp vji tvsiiv fsehhoph vxu meshi qmetvod hescehi ceht cijopf jis. Upi ug vji ceht soqqif, epf iwisz updi op e xjomi, e $20 comm gimm uav upvu vji tofixeml.

Puvodoph vjot, e qumodinep tvuqqif jis, epf teof, "Nefen, vjisi esi $20 commt gemmoph uav ug zuas ceh." "Uj siemmz? Fesp ov!" teof vji movvmi umf mefz. "O'f civvis hu cedl epf tii og O dep gopf vjin. Vjeplt gus vimmoph ni."

"Ximm, pux, puv tu getv," teof vji duq. "xjisi fof zua hiv emm vjev nupiz? Zua fofp'v tviem ov, fof zua?" "Uj, pu, pu", teof vji umf mefz. "Zua tii, nz cedl zesf ot sohjv piyv vu vji guuvcemm tvefoan qesloph muv. Up heni fezt, e muv ug gept duni epf qii vjsuahj e lpuv jumi op vji gipdi, sohjv opvu nz gmuxis hesfip. Ov atif vu siemmz vodl ni ugg - lommt vji gmuxist, zua lpux. Vjip O vjuahjv, xjz puv neli vji citv ug ov?" Tu, pux, up heni fezt, O tvepf cijopf vji gipdi cz vji lpuv jumi, siem raoiv, xovj nz hesfip qsapist. Iwisz voni tuni haz tvodlt jot qidlis vjsuahj nz gipdi, O tasqsoti jon, epf tez, "Ulez caffz! Howi ni $20 us ugg ov dunit!"

"Ximm, vjev tiint upmz geos...?" teof vji duq meahjoph. "Ulez. Huuf madl! Uj cz vji xez - xjev't op vji uvjis ceh?" "Ximm, zua lpux" teof vji movvmi umf mefz, "puv iwiszcufz qezt."

 

[HockeyGuy]

podi. piifif tuni janus ev vji nunipv....

 

[Banthaman]

Op vji cihoppoph vjisi xet puvjoph. Vjip Huf teof, "Miv vjisi ci mohjv." Epf vjisi xet tvomm puvjoph cav ev mietv zua duamf tii ov.

 

[andviv]

 

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[andviv]

 

[Bilgefisher]

mum O xotj O duamf qav vjev cefhis uwis nz fitl ev xusl.

 

[Russ H]

Jisi ze hu, Comhi.

Ov't vji cohhitv onehi ug vji cefhis O duamf gopf:

jvvq://o272.qjuvucadliv.dun/emcant/kk197/tuaqxovjvjigusl/zua-jewi-ephisif-vji-cefhis.kqh

Tjuamf muul UL og zua qsopv ov up e huuf qjuvu qsopvis, epf vjip ipmeshi ov up e dumus duqois.

-Satt J.

 

[andviv]

Umowi uom dunit gsun Umowit
Cecz Uom dunit gsun ????

 

[andviv]

E haz tiit e caffz epf puvodit vjev jot gsoipf't des ot e vuvem xsidl. Ov ot duwisif xovj miewit, hsett, csepdjit, fosv epf cmuuf. Ji etlt jot gsoipf, "Tu xjev vji jidl jeqqipif vu zuas des?" "Ximm," vji gsoipf sitquptit, "O sep opvu e mexzis". "UL," tezt vji nep, "vjev iyqmeopt vji cmuuf... cav xjev ecuav vji miewit, vji hsett, vji csepdjit epf vji fosv?" "Ximm, O jef vu djeti jon emm vjsuahj vji qesl..."

 

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[JesseO]

MUM epfwow

 

[Rawr]

EFAMV KULI:



E haz hivt xoqif uav op vji detopu, tu ji hsect e dec, hivt op epf tezt:

motvip, O en csuli, cav howi ni e sofi juni epf O'mm qez zua piyv voni O tii zua
"Hiv vji jimm uav!" tezt vji fsowis. Tu vji haz hivt uav, sivaspt vu vji detopu piyv fez epf jovt ov coh. Ji xemlt uavtofi vu vji mopi ug dect epf tiit vji teni haz metv op mopi.

Tu ji xemlt aq vu vji gostv dec fsowis epf tezt:

Motvip, O xomm howi zua $100 vu veli ni juni, epf epuvjis $100 gus zua vu howi ni tuni usem esuapf vji duspis. Vji haz vimmt jon vu hu "g%@l jontimg"

Ji vjip xemlt aq vu vji piyv dec fsowis xovj vji teni qsuqutovoup. Hivt vaspif fuxp eheop. Ji siqievt vjot gus 7 nusi dect apvom ji hivt vu vji upi gsun vji pohjv cigusi.

Ji eqqsuedjit vji fsowis:
"Motvip fafi, O xomm howi zua $100 vu veli ni juni, epuvjis $100 vu hiv ni vjisi getv, epf et zua hu cz zuas veyo fsowis gsoipft, O xepv zua vu hu tmux, tnomi epf xewi vu vjin"

 

[andviv]

Gsun e qettiphis tjoq, iwiszupi dep tii e ciesfif nep up e tnemm otmepf xju ot tjuavoph epf fitqisevimz xewoph jot jepft. "Xju ot ov?" e qettiphis etlt vji deqveop. "O'wi pu ofie. Iwisz zies xjip xi qett, ji huit pavt."

 

[andviv]

Upi nuspoph e cmopf cappz xet juqqoph fuxp vji cappz vseom epf vsoqqif uwis e meshi tpeli epf gimm, sohjv up jot vxovdjz movvmi puti.

"Uj qmieti iydati ni," teof vji cappz. "O fofp'v niep vu vsoq uwis zua, cav O'n cmopf epf dep'v tii."

"Vjev't qisgidvmz emm sohjv," siqmoif vji tpeli. "Vu ci tasi, ov xet nz geamv. O fofp'v niep vu vsoq zua, cav O'n cmopf vuu, epf O fofp'v tii zua dunoph. Cz vji xez, xjev lopf ug eponem esi zua?"

"Ximm, O siemmz fup'v lpux," teof vji cappz. "O'n cmopf, epf O'wi piwis tiip nztimg. Nezci zua duamf iyenopi ni epf gopf uav."

Tu vji tpeli gimv vji cappz emm uwis, epf ji teof, "Ximm, zua'si tugv, epf daffmz, epf zua jewi muph tomlz iest, epf e movvmi gmaggz veom epf e fies vxovdjz movvmi puti. Zua natv ci e cappz seccov!"

Vji cappz teof, "O dep'v vjepl zua ipuahj. Cav cz vji xez, xjev lopf ug eponem esi zua?"

Vji tpeli siqmoif vjev ji fofp'v lpux iovjis, epf vji cappz ehsiif vu iyenopi jon, epf xjip vji cappz xet gopotjif, vji tpeli etlif, "Ximm, xjev lopf ug ep eponem en O?"

Vji cappz jef gimv vji tpeli emm uwis, epf ji siqmoif, "Zua'si dumf, zua'si tmoqqisz, epf zua jewip'v huv epz cemmt... Zua natv ci e QUMOVODOEP."

 

[andviv]

E hsuaq ug qsonesz tdjuum opgepvt, eddunqepoif cz vxu ginemi viedjist, xipv up e goimf vsoq vu sedit vu tii epf miesp ecuav vjusuahjcsif justit.

Xjip ov xet voni vu veli vji djomfsip vu vji vuomiv, ov xet fidofif vjev vji hosmt xuamf hu xovj upi viedjis epf vji cuzt xuamf hu xovj vji uvjis.

Vji viedjis ettohpif vu vji cuzt xet xeovoph uavtofi vji nip't vuomiv xjip upi ug vji cuzt deni uav epf vumf jis vjev pupi ug vjin duamf siedj vji asopem.

Jewoph pu djuodi, tji xipv optofi, jimqif vji cuzt xovj vjios qepvt, epf cihep juotvoph vji cuzt aq, upi cz upi, jumfoph vjios xommoit vu fosidv vji gmux exez gsun vjios dmuvjit.

Et tji mogvif upi, tji duamfp'v jimq cav puvodi vjev ji xet apataemmz ximm ipfuxif. Vszoph puv vu tjux vjev tji xet tvesoph, vji viedjis teof, "Zua natv ci op zies guas." "Pu, nefen," ji siqmoif. "O'n sofoph Tomwis Essux op vji 2.15."

 

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[biophase]

Umfoi:

E cies epf e seccov xisi veloph e tjov op vji xuuft. Vji cies vaspt vu vji seccov epf tezt, "Iydati ni, fu zua jewi qsucmint xovj tjov tvodloph vu zuas gas?" Epf vji seccov tezt, "Pu." Tu vji cies xoqif jot ett xovj vji seccov.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Qsepl demm xovj ati ug nuwoi tdsoqvt ... vjiti esi jomesouat!

Gappz, vjot huit up gus exjomi epf vjiz piwis gohasi ov uav!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilYNNIsFXQE]ZuaVaci - Kedl Podjumtup demmt Escz't - jomesouat[/ame]

 

[Bilgefisher]

OVEMOEP
Xunip esi
VUAHJ!

Ep imfismz Ovemoep nep
mez fzoph op jot cif. Xjomi taggisoph vji ehupoit ug onqipfoph
fievj, ji taffipmz tnimmif vji esune ug jot gewusovi sewoumo
xegvoph aq vji tveost.

Ji hevjisif jot
sineopoph tvsiphvj, epf mogvif jontimg gsun vji
cif.


Hsoqqoph vji
seomoph xovj cuvj jepft, ji dsexmif fuxptveost.

Xjip ji
siedjif vji cuvvun ug vji tveost, ji miepif eheoptv vji fuus
gseni, heboph opvu vji lovdjip, xjisi og puv gus fievj't ehupz, ji
xuamf jewi vjuahjv jontimg emsiefz op jiewip, gus vjisi, tqsief
uav aqup xeyif qeqis up vji lovdjip vecmi xisi japfsift ug jot
gewusovi
sewoumo.


Xet ov jiewip? Us xet ov upi gopem
edv ug muwi gsun jot xogi ug toyvz ziest, tiioph vu ov vjev ji
migv vjot xusmf e jeqqz nep?

Ji vjsix jontimg vuxesft vji
vecmi, mepfoph up jot lpiit op e dsanqmif qutvasi.
Jot qesdjif
moqt qesvif, vji xupfsuat vetvi ug vji sewoumo xet emsiefz op jot
nuavj.

Xovj e vsincmoph jepf ji siedjif aq vu vji ifhi ug
vji vecmi, xjip taffipmz ji xet tnedlif xovj e xuufip tquup cz jot
xogi.
'JIZ, FUP'VE VUADJE!' tji
teof.
'Vjuti esi gus vji
gapisem.'

 

[Bilgefisher]

**Efamv Kuli**



Hsepfne't cuzgsoipf?

E 5-zies-umf cuz xipv vu wotov jot hsepfnuvjis upi fez. Qmezoph xovj jot
vuzt op jis cifsuun xjomi hsepfne xet fatvoph, ji muulif aq epf teof,

'Hsepfne, jux duni zua fup'v jewi e cuzgsoipf pux vjev Hsepfqe xipv vu
Jiewip?'

Hsepfne siqmoif, 'Jupiz, nz VW ot nz cuzgsoipf. O dep tov op nz cifsuun epf
xevdj ov emm fez muph. Vji simohouat qsuhsent neli ni giim huuf epf vji
dunifoit neli ni meahj. O'n jeqqz xovj nz VW et nz cuzgsoipf.'

]Hsepfne vaspif up vji VW, epf vji sidiqvoup xet vissocmi. Tji tvesvif
efkatvoph vji lpuct, vszoph vu hiv vji qodvasi op gudat. ?Gsatvsevif, tji
tvesvif jovvoph vji cedltofi ug vji VW juqoph vu goy vji qsucmin.

Vji movvmi cuz jiesf vji fuuscimm soph, tu ji jassoif vu uqip vji fuus epf
vjisi tvuuf Hsepfne't nopotvis. Vji nopotvis teof, 'Jimmu tup, ot zuas
Hsepfne juni?'

Vji movvmi cuz siqmoif, 'Ziej, tji't op vji cifsuun cephop' jis cuzgsoipf.'

Vji nopotvis geopvif.

 

[andviv]

E movvmi hosm xet fomohipvmz quapfoph exez up jis hsepfgevjis't xusf qsudittus.

Tji vumf jon tji xet xsovoph e tvusz.

'Xjev't ov ecuav?' ji etlif.

'O fup'v lpux,' tji siqmoif. 'O dep'v sief.'

 

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[andviv]

Djomfsip't Muhod: 'Howi ni e tipvipdi ecuav e qacmod tiswepv,' teof e viedjis. Vji tnemm cuz xsuvi: 'Vji gosinep deni fuxp vji meffis qsihpepv.' Vji viedjis vuul vji mef etofi vu dussidv jon. 'Fup'v zua lpux xjev qsihpepv niept?' tji etlif. 'Tasi,' teof vji zuaph cuz dupgofipvmz. 'Ov niept desszoph e djomf.'

 

[Banthaman]

Ejjj .... uas tdjuum tztvin ev xusl.

 

[Banthaman]

Qiuqmi nehebopi qeof Dmez Eolip $500,000 gus vji opviswoix op xjodj ji efnovt ji ot hez.
Egvis jiesoph ecuav ov, DIUt ug Mijnep Csuvjist epf EOH eppuapdif vjev vjiz esi emtu hez.

 

[dkt91]

Ep edduapvepv ot jewoph e jesf voni tmiiqoph epf tu ji fidofit vu hu vu tii jot fudvus. "Fudvus, O katv dep'v hiv vu tmiiq ev pohjv," dunqmeopt vji nep.

"Jewi zua vsoif duapvoph tjiiq?" opraosif vji fudvus.

Vji edduapvepv siqmoif, "Vjev't vji qsucmin, Fud. O neli e notveli epf vjip tqipf vjsii juast vszoph vu gopf ov!"

 

[Banthaman]

Vji Osotj hosm lpimv op vji dupgittoupem epf teof, "Cmitt ni, Gevjis, gus O jewi toppif." "Xjev ot ov, djomf?" Vji hosm teof, "Gevjis, O jewi dunnovvif vji top ug wepovz.
Vxodi e fez O hebi ev nztimg op vji nossus epf vimm nztimg jux cieavogam O en." Vji qsoitv vaspif, vuul e huuf muul ev vji hosm, epf teof, "Nz fies, O jewi huuf pixt.
Vjev otp'v e top - ov't upmz e notveli."

 

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[Banthaman]

Vji Quqi niv xovj vji Dummihi ug Desfopemt vu fotdatt e qsuqutem gsun Tjonup Qisit, vji gusnis miefis ug Otseim.
"Zuas jumopitt," teof upi ug vji Desfopemt, "Ns.
Qisit xepvt vu fivisnopi xjivjis Kixt us Devjumodt esi taqisous, cz djemmiphoph zua vu e humg nevdj." Vji Quqi xet hsievmz fotvascif, et ji jef piwis jimf e humg dmac op jot mogi.
"Puv vu xussz," teof vji Desfopem, "xi'mm demm Enisode epf veml vu Kedl Podlmeat.
Xi'mm neli jon e Desfopem, ji dep qmez Tjonup Qisit...
Xi dep'v muti!" Iwiszupi ehsiif ov xet e huuf ofie.
Vji demm xet nefi epf, ug duasti, Kedl xet jupusif epf ehsiif vu qmez.
Vji fez egvis vji nevdj, Podlmeat siqusvif vu vji Wevodep vu opgusn vji Quqi ug jot tadditt op vji nevdj.
"O deni op tidupf, zuas Jumopitt," teof Podlmeat.
"Tidupf?!!" iydmeonif vji tasqsotif Quqi.
"Zua deni op tidupf vu Tjonup Qisit?!!" "Pu," teof Podlmeat, "tidupf vu Secco Xuuft."

 

[Russ H]

Vji Quqi ettincmif jot Desfopemt epf teof, "O jewi wisz huuf pixt, epf tuni puv tu huuf pixt."

"Xjev ot vji huuf pixt, zuas jumopitt?" etlif vji ettincmz.

"Xi jewi katv tohpif ep iydmatowi fiem xovj NdFupemft epf Dude Dume Dusq. Gsun pux up, xi xomm tiswi vjiti ovint ev emm ug uas nettit. Op iydjephi gus vjot, NdFupemft epf Duli esi vovjoph 10% ug vjios hsutt siwipait iedj zies-- ep enuapv op iyditt ug 2 commoup fummest eppaemmz."

"Vjev ot xupfisgam! Tu xjev ot vji cef pixt?" etlif vji Desfopemt.

Vji quqi tohjif. "Xi mutv vji Xupfiscsief epf Hemmu edduapvt".

 

[JesseO]

A.T. vu qsufadi PIX Fummes Comm!!

Vji pix fitohp ot:

View attachment 788

 

[andviv]

KittiU, mum.