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O/T: FUNNY Jokes

G

Guest3722A

Guest
Why Parents Drink

A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion . . . Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood to keep us warm for the whole winter. We are hopeful for the future and share a dream to have many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.

Don't worry about me, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Jason
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in the center drawer of my desk.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.
 

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SuccessInMind

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
^lol!
 
G

Guest3722A

Guest
I was doing my first gig as a stand up comedian, it was at an old peoples home.

None of them got the jokes, but they still pissed themselves.
 
G

Guest3722A

Guest
All in fun :)

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left



So they started crying and headed home
 

Daniel A

DIESEL
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 20, 2013
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California, USA
Last edited:

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