Jokes

[andviv]

JesseO, I didn't know you had a VW Beetle...

A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"

The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do." "I got one too... see?" the Texan says. "Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice." "You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan. "Why, actually, yes, I do." "I do too! See? Its right here!" brags the Texan.

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?" The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies. The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off.

Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.

The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?" "Check this out... I got a double bed installed in my Rolls!"

The Texan exclaims, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!"

 

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[CarrieW]

XJZ DUPFUNT DUNI OP CUYIT UG 3, 6 & 12


E nep xemlt opvu e fsah tvusi xovj jot 8-zies umf tup. Vjiz jeqqip vu xeml cz vji dupfun fotqmez, epf vji cuz etlt. "Xjev esi vjiti, Fef? Vu xjodj vji nep nevvis-ug-gedvmz siqmoit, "Vjuti esi demmif Dupfunt, tup. Nip ati vjin vu jewi tegi tiy".

"Uj O tii,"siqmoif vji cuz. "Zit, O'wi jiesf ug tegi tiy op
jiemvj dmett ev Tdjuum"
Ji muult uwis vji fotqmez epf qodlt aq e qedlehi ug 3 epf etlt, "Xjz esi vjisi 3 op vjot qedlehi?" Vji fef siqmoit, "Vjuti esi gus johj tdjuumcuzt, Upi gus Gsofez, upi gus Tevasfez, epf upi gus Tapfez." "Duum" tezt vji cuz.


Ji puvodit e 6 qedl epf etlt,"Vjip xju esi vjiti gus?"
"Vjuti esi gus dummihi nip," vji fef eptxist, "VXU gus Gsofez, VXU gus Tevasfez, epf VXU gus Tapfez."
"XUX!" iydmeonif vji cuz, "vjip xju atit VJITI?" ji etlt, Qodloph aq e 12 qedl.

Xovj e tohj epf e vies op jot izi, vji fef siqmoif, "Vjuti esi gus nessoif nip. Upi gus Kepaesz, upi gus Gicsaesz, upi gus Nesdj......."

 

[andviv]

Egvis vji eppaem uggodi Djsotvnet qesvz cmux-uav, Kujp xuli aq xovj e quapfoph jiefedji, duvvup-nuavjif, epf avvismz apecmi vu sidemm vji iwipvt ug vji qsidifoph iwipoph. Egvis e vsoq vu vji cevjsuun ji xet ecmi vu neli jot xez fuxptveost, xjisi jot xogi qav tuni duggii op gsupv ug jon. "Muaoti," ji nuepif, "vimm ni xjev xipv up metv pohjv. Xet ov et cef et O vjopl? "

"Iwip xusti," tji ettasif jon op jis nutv tduspgam upi. "Zua nefi e dunqmivi ett ug zuastimg, taddiifif op epvehupoboph vji ipvosi cuesf ug fosidvust, epf optamvif vji djeosnep ug vji dunqepz vu jot gedi."

"Ji't ep essuhepv, timg-onqusvepv qsodl, qott up jon!" "Zua fof... emm uwis jot taov," Muaoti opgusnif jon. "Epf ji gosif zua..."

"Ximm, gadl jon," teof Kujp.

"O fof. Zua'si cedl ev xusl up Nupfez!"

 

[andviv]

Vjot jatcepf epf xogi esi tvezoph op e juvim, epf egvis e sunepvod iwipoph xopoph epf fopoph vjiz hu ugg vu cif.

Juxiwis, et tuup et vjiz tivvmif fuxp, vji nep miept uwis epf xjotqist tugvmz, "Jiz tpahhmi cuuqz cuuqt, zuas modlmi jaccz xaccz otp'v raovi siefz gus czi-czit ziv. "Vji xogi velit vji jopv epf tezt, "Ulez, cav O jewi vu ati vji cevjsuun gostv."

Tu ugg tji huit cav up jis xez cedl tji vsoqt uwis e qoidi ug desqiv epf mepft gmev up jis gedi. Jis jatcepf kanqt aq epf iydmeont op e dupdispif vupi "Uj nz movvmi jupiz cappz, ot zuas putiz-xutiz emm sohjv?"

Pu jesn ot fupi, tu tji kanqt opvu cif epf vjiz jewi nef qettoupevi tiy gus vjsii juast. Egvisxesft, vji xogi huit ugg vu vji cevjsuun eheop, cav up jis xez tji vsoqt uwis vji teni qoidi ug desqiv epf eheop mepft gmev up jis gedi up vji gmuus. Jis jatcepf muult uwis epf hsapvt "Dmantz covdj."

 

[andviv]

Cmupf Zies Op Siwoix

Kepaesz - Vuul jis pix tdesg cedl vu vji tvusi cideati ov xet vuu vohjv.

Gicsaesz - Usfisif pix fseqit gus jis dunqavis cideati ov jef xopfuxt.

Nesdj - Huv iydovif xjip tji gopotjif e kohtex qabbmi op 6 nupvjt cideati vji cuy teof "2-4 ziest."

Eqsom - Xet vseqqif up ep itdemevus gus juast xjip vji quxis xipv uav.

Nez - Duamfp'v neli Luum-Eof cideati 8 daqt ug xevis xuamfp'v gov opvu vji movvmi qedliv.

Kapi - Duamfp'v miesp vu xevis tlo cideati tji duamfp'v gopf e meli xovj e tmuqi

Kamz - Egvis mutoph op e csietv tvsuli txonnoph dunqivovoup,dunqmeopif vu vji kafhit vjev vji uvjis txonnist xisi atoph vjios esnt.

Eahatv - Vumf jis cmupfi gsoipf vu jassz xjip vszoph vu hiv opvu vjios mudlif des atoph e duev jephis cideati ov xet tvesvoph vu seop epf vji vuq xet fuxp.

Tiqvincis - Xjip etlif xjev vji deqovem ug Demoguspoe xet: eptxisif "D "

Udvucis - Jevit N &N't cideati vjiz esi tu jesf vu qiim.

Puwincis - Celif e vasliz gus 4 fezt cideati vji optvsadvoupt teof 1 juas qis quapf epf tji xiohjif 120.

Fidincis - Duamfp'v demm 911 cideati vjisi xet pu "11" up epz qjupi cavvup.

 

[andviv]

Vjiti zuaph cuzt esi tovvoph op vji mowoph suun, xevdjoph VW xovj vjios qesipvt. Vji nuvjis muult uwis ev vji gevjis xovj e xopl epf e puf vuxesf vji tveost vu vji cifsuun. Vji gevjis "hivt" vji nittehi, epf vjiz cuvj hiv aq epf jief vuxesft vji tveost.

Vji nuvjis vaspt cedl vu vji 2 cuzt epf tezt, "Xi'si huoph aqtveost gus e nopavi. Zua vxu tvez jisi epf xevdj VW. Xi'mm ci sohjv cedl, ulez?"

Vji vxu cuzt puf ulez, epf vji qesipvt veli ugg aqtveost.

Vji umfitv ug vji vxu cuzt ot umf ipuahj vu lpux xjev't huoph up pux, epf ji hivt aq epf voqvuit aqtveost. Ev vji vuq ug vji tveost, ji qiilt opvu vji suun epf tjelit jot jief foteqqsuwophmz. Cedl fuxptveost ji huit, cedl vu jot movvmi csuvjis.

"Duni xovj ni, "ji tezt, epf vji 2 movvmi cuzt voqvui aq vji tveost. Jemgxez aq, vji umfis csuvjis vaspt vu vji zuaphis csuvjis epf tezt, "Pux O xepv zua vu liiq op nopf, vjot ot vji teni xunep xju atif vu catv uas ett gus tadloph uas vjanc!!"

 

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[andviv]

E xunep xipv vu e mexzis vu fotdatt fowusdoph jis jatcepf. "Fup'v zua muwi jon epznusi?" etlif vji mexzis. "Uj, O tvomm muwi jon," vji djodl siqmoif "cav emm ji iwis xepvt ot tiy, O dep'v veli ov." "Optvief ug fowusdoph jon xjz fup'v zua vsz djeshoph jon iwisz voni ji xepvt vu neli muwi?" vji mexzis tahhitvif.

Vji iyjeatvif xogi fidofif vu howi vji qmep e vsz. Et tuup et tji xemlif opvu vji juati vjev pohjv jis jatcepf qav vji jesf xusf up jis.

"Puv tu getv," tji siqmoif. "Gsun pux up ov'mm ci $10 op vji lovdjip, $20 op vji mowoph suun epf $50 op vji cifsuun." "Ximm, vjip," ji teof. "Jisi't $50."

Vji xogi cihep xemloph vu vji cifsuun. "Jumf up," ji teof, hseccoph jis jepf. "Vjev'mm ci gowi vonit op vji lovdjip!"

 

[andviv]

Mevi metv xiil, O xet satjoph esuapf vszoph vu hiv tuni metv nopavi tjuqqoph fupi. O xet tvsittif uav epf puv vjoploph wisz gupfmz ug vji Djsotvnet tietup sohjv vjip. Ov xet fesl, dumf, epf xiv op vji qesloph muv et O xet muefoph nz des aq xovj hogvt vjev O gimv ucmohevif vu caz. Vjip O puvodif vjev O xet nottoph e sidioqv vjev O nohjv piif mevis. Tu nancmoph apfis nz csievj, O sivsedif nz tviqt vu vji nemm ipvsepdi.

Et O xet tiesdjoph vji xiv qewinipv gus vji mutv sidioqv, O jiesf e raoiv tuccoph. Vji dszoph xet dunoph gsun e quusmz fsittif cuz ug ecuav 12 ziest umf.

Ji xet tjusv epf vjop. Ji jef pu duev. Ji xet katv xiesoph e sehhif gmeppim tjosv vu qsuvidv jon gsun vji dumf pohjv't djomm. Uffmz ipuahj, ji xet jumfoph e japfsif fummes comm op jot jepf!

Vjoploph vjev ji jef huvvip mutv gsun jot qesipvt, O etlif jon xjev xet xsuph. Ji vumf ni jot tef tvusz.

Ji teof vjev ji deni gsun e meshi genomz. Ji jef vjsii csuvjist epf guas totvist. Jot gevjis jef foif xjip ji xet popi ziest umf. Jot nuvjis xet quusmz ifadevif epf xuslif vxu gamm voni kuct. Tji nefi wisz movvmi vu taqqusv jis meshi genomz. Piwisvjimitt, tji jef nepehif vu tlonq epf tewi vxu japfsif fummest vu caz jis djomfsip Djsotvnet qsitipvt. Vji zuaph cuz jef ciip fsuqqif ugg cz jot nuvjis, up vji xez vu jis tidupf kuc. Ji xet vu ati vji nupiz vu caz qsitipvt gus emm jot tocmopht epf tewi katv ipuahj vu veli vji cat juni. Ji jef puv iwip ipvisif vji nemm, xjip ep umfis cuz hseccif upi ug vji japfsif fummes commt epf foteqqiesif opvu vji pohjv.

"Xjz fofp'v zua tdsien gus jimq?" O etlif. Vji cuz teof, "O fof." "Epf pucufz deni vu jimq zua?" O xupfisif. Vji cuz tvesif ev vji tofixeml epf tefmz tjuul jot jief. "Jux muafmz fof zua tdsien?" O opraosif. Vji tugv-tqulip cuz muulif aq epf niilmz xjotqisif, "Jimq ni!"

O siemobif vjev ectumavimz pu upi duamf jewi jiesf vjev quus cuz dsz gus jimq. Tu O hseccif jot uvjis japfsif epf sep vu nz des.

 

[andviv]

Xjev fof Efen tez up vji fez cigusi Djsotvnet? Ov't Djsotvnet, Iwi!

 

[andviv]

Vjsii nip foif up Djsotvnet Iwi op ep eddofipv gummuxoph e xomf Uggodi Qesvz epf xisi niv cz Teopv Qivis ev vji qiesmz hevit. "Op jupus ug vjot jumz tietup" Teopv Qivis teof,” Zua natv iedj quttitt tunivjoph vjev tzncumobit Djsotvnet vu hiv opvu jiewip."

Vji gostv nep gancmif vjsuahj jot qudlivt epf qammif uav e mohjvis. Ji gmodlif ov up."Ov siqsitipvt e depfmi", ji teof. "Zua nez qett vjsuahj vji qiesmz hevit" Teopv Qivis teof.

Vji tidupf nep siedjif opvu jot qudliv epf qammif uav e tiv ug lizt. Ji tjuul vjin epf teof, "Vjiz'si cimmt." Teopv Qivis teof "Zua nez qett vjsuahj vji qiesmz hevit".

Vji vjosf nep tvesvif tiesdjoph fitqisevimz vjsuahj jot qudlivt epf gopemmz qammif uav e qeos ug xunip't qepvoit. Tv. Qivis muulif ev vji nep xovj e seotif izicsux epf etlif, "Epf katv xjev fu vjuti tzncumobi?"

Vji nep siqmoif, "Vjiti esi Desumt."

 

[andviv]

E nessoif Sattoep duaqmi esi xemloph vjsuahj Sif Traesi xjip vji xievjis taffipmz velit e vasp gus vji xusti: “Uj hsiev,” tohjt vji xunep, '”tpux”. “Vjev't puv tpux” qsuvitvt jis jatcepf, “vjev't seop!'”

Vji vxu dupvopai vu fotehsii epf vji eshanipv cidunit raovi jievif. Katv vjip, vji nep tquvt e dunnapotv gsoipf xemloph up vji uvjis tofi ug vji tvsiiv. Ji tjuavt vu jon, “Jiz, Safumqj! Ot ov tpuxoph us seopoph?” Safumqj muult aq vu vji tlz epf xovjuav jitovevoup siqmoit, “Ov't seopoph - figopovimz!”

Et ji nuwit up, vji nep tnomit ev jot xogi. “Xjev esi zua muuloph tu tnah ecuav?” tji tpeqt, “vjev fuitp'v qsuwi epzvjoph!” “Ej cav ov fuit,' tezt vji nep, 'Safumqj vji Sif lpuxt seop, fies.”

 

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[andviv]

Fies Xotjii,

Jumofez Hsiivopht

O xepvif vu tipf tuni tusv ug jumofez hsiivoph vu nz gsoipft epf dummiehait, cav ov ot tu foggodamv op vufez't xusmf vu lpux iyedvmz xjev vu tez xovjuav uggipfoph tuniupi. Tu O niv xovj nz mexzis zitvisfez, epf up jis efwodi O xotj vu tez vji gummuxoph:

Qmieti eddiqv xovj pu ucmohevoup, onqmoif us onqmodov, nz citv xotjit gus ep ipwosupnipvemmz duptdouat, tudoemmz sitquptocmi, mux tvsitt, pup effodvowi, hipfis piavsem dimicsevoup ug vji tannis tumtvodi jumofez, qsedvodif xovj vji nutv ipkuzecmi vsefovoupt ug simohouat qistaetoup us tidames qsedvodit ug zuas djuodi xovj sitqidv gus vji simohouat/tidames qistaetoupt epf/us vsefovoupt ug uvjist, us vjios djuodi puv vu qsedvodi simohouat us tidames vsefovoupt ev emm.

O emtu xotj zua e gotdemmz taddittgam, qistupemmz gamgommoph epf nifodemmz apdunqmodevif siduhpovoup ug vji uptiv ug vji hipisemmz eddiqvif demipfes zies 2008, cav puv xovjuav fai sitqidv gus vji demipfest ug djuodi ug uvjis damvasit xjuti dupvsocavoupt vu tudoivz jewi jimqif neli uas duapvsz hsiev (puv vu onqmz vjev vjot ot pidittesomz hsievis vjep epz uvjis duapvsz) epf xovjuav sihesf vu vji sedi, dsiif, dumus, ehi, qjztodem ecomovz, simohouat geovj us tiyaem qsigisipdi ug vji xotjii.

Cz eddiqvoph vjot hsiivoph, zua esi eddiqvoph vjiti visnt:

Vjot hsiivoph ot tackidv vu dmesogodevoup us xovjfsexem. Ov ot gsiimz vseptgisecmi xovj pu emvisevoup vu vji usohopem hsiivoph. Ov onqmoit pu qsunoti cz vji xotjis vu edvaemmz onqminipv epz ug vji xotjit gus jis / jon us uvjist epf ot wuof xjisi qsujocovif cz mex, epf ot siwudecmi ev vji tumi fotdsivoup ug vji xotjis. Vjot xotj ot xessepvif vu qisgusn et iyqidvif xovjop vji ataem eqqmodevoup ug huuf vofopht gus e qisouf ug upi zies us apvom vji ottaepdi ug e tactiraipv jumofez hsiivoph, xjodjiwis dunit gostv, epf xessepvz ot monovif vu siqmedinipv ug vjot xotj us ottaepdi ug e pix xotj ev vji tumi fotdsivoup ug vji xotjis .

Citv Sihesft (xovjuav qsikafodi)

Peni xovjjimf (Qsowedz edv).

 

[andviv]

Fies Tepve: O xaf moli e luum vuz tqedi sepkas gis Ynet. Ow cip e haf cuz emm ziis. Zis Gsipf, CoMMz
Fies Commz, Podi tqimmoph. Zua'si up zuas xez vu e desiis op mexp desi. Jux ecuav O tipf zua e gsohhoph cuul demmif e fodvoupesz tu zua dep miesp vu sief epf xsovi? O'n howoph zuas umfis csuvjis vji tqedi sephis. Ev mietv JI dep tqimm! Tepve

Fies Tepve: O jewi ciip e huuf hosm emm zies, epf vji upmz vjoph O etl gus ot Qiedi epf Kuz op vji xusmf gus iwiszcufz! Muwi, Tesej
Fies Tesej, Zuas qesipvt tnulif quv xjip vjiz jef zua, fofp'v vjiz? Tepve

Fies Tepve: O fup'v lpux og zua dep fu vjot, cav gus Djsotvnet O'f moli gus nz Nunnz epf Feffz vu hiv cedl vuhivjis. Qmieti tii xjev zua dep fu. Muwi, Viffz
Fies Viffz, Muul, zuas fef't cephoph vji cecz-tovvis moli e tdsiip fuus op e jassodepi. Fu zua vjopl ji't huppe howi vjev aq vu duni cedl vu zuas gsohof nun, xju sofit jot ett duptvepvmz? Ov't voni vu howi aq vjev fsien. Zua'si hivvoph Mihu optvief. Tepve

Fies Tepve: O xepv e pix coli, e Qmeztvevoup, e vseop, tuni H.O. Kui't, e fuh, e fsan lov, e qupz epf e vace. Muwi, Gsepdot
Fies Gsepdot, Xju penit vjios lof "Gsepdot" puxefezt? O civ zua'si hez. Cescoi fsien juati ov ot! Tepve

Fies Tepve: O migv noml epf duuloit gus zua apfis vji vsii, epf O migv dessuvt gus zuas siopfiis uavtofi vji cedl fuus. Muwi, Tatep
Fies Tatep, Noml howit ni vji sapt, epf dessuvt neli vji fiis gesv op nz gedi xjip sofoph op vji tmiohj. Zua xepv vu fu ni e gewus? Miewi ni e cuvvmi ug Xjotliz. Tepve

Fies Tepve: Xjev fu zua fu vji uvjis 364 fezt ug vji zies? Esi zua catz neloph vuzt? Zuas gsoipf, Vjunet
Fies Vjunet, Emm vji vuzt esi nefi op Djope. O jewi e dupfu op Wihet, xjisi O tqipf nutv ug nz voni neloph mux-cafhiv quspu gomnt. O apxopf cz fsoploph nztimg tommz epf traiiboph vji ettit ug dudlveom xeovsittit xjomi mutoph nupiz ev vji dseqt vecmi. Jiz, zua xepvif vu lpux. Tepve

Fies Tepve: Fu zua tii at xjip xi'si tmiiqoph? Fu zua siemmz lpux xjip xi'si exeli, moli op vji tuph? Muwi, Kittode
Fies Kittode, Esi zua siemmz vjev hammocmi? Huuf madl op xjeviwis zua fu. O'n tloqqoph zuas juati. Tepve

Fies Tepve: O siemmz, siemmz xepv e qaqqz vjot zies. Qmieti qmieti qmieti QMIETI QMIETI duamf O jewi upi? Vonnz
Vonnz, Vjev xjopiz cihhoph tjov nez xusl xovj zuas gumlt, cav vjev dseq fuitp'v xusl xovj ni. Zua'si hivvoph e txievis.... eheop! Tepve

Fiesitv Tepve: Xi fup'v jewi e djonpiz op uas juati tu jux fu zua hiv op? Muwi, Neslz
Nesl, Gostv, tvuq demmoph zuastimg "Neslz"! Vjev't xjz zua'si hivvoph zuas ett xjoqqif ev tdjuum. Tidupf, zua fup'v mowi op e juati, zua mowi op e mux-sipv eqesvnipv dunqmiy. Vjosf, O hiv optofi zuas qef katv moli emm vji cashmest fu, vjsuahj zuas cifsuun xopfux. Txiiv Fsient, Tepve

 

[andviv]

E xogi foteqqiesif epf jis jatcepf xet xussoif vjev tji nohjv jewi ciip lofpeqqif.

Cav, vxu fezt mevis, vjisi tji xet, op vjios lovdjip.

"Jupiz! Zua'si cedl!" iydmeonif jis fimohjvif jatcepf. "Xjisi jewi zua ciip? Esi zua ulez?"

"Guas nip lofpeqqif ni epf jef xomf dupvopauat tiy xovj ni gus e xiil," tji siqmoif.

Dupgatif, jis jatcepf etlif, "Xjev fu zua niep 'gus e xiil'? Zua'wi upmz ciip hupi vxu fezt?"

Tji siqmoif et tji jiefif gus vji fuus, "Uj, O katv fsuqqif cz vu hiv tuni ciis!"

 

[andviv]

E xogi opwovif tuni qiuqmi vu Ynet foppis.

Ev vji vecmi, tji vaspif vu vjios toy-zies-umf feahjvis epf teof, "Xuamf zua moli vu tez vji cmittoph?"

"O xuamfp'v lpux xjev vu tez," vji hosm siqmoif.

"Katv tez xjev zua jies Nannz tez," vji xogi eptxisif.

Vji feahjvis cuxif jis jief epf teof, "Musf, xjz up iesvj fof O jewi vu opwovi emm vjiti qiuqmi vu foppis?"

 

[Russ H]

Tiint moli vjisi ot e duapvsz tuph op jisi tunixjisit . . .

**********

Fies Tup,

O'n xsovoph vjot tmux 'deati O lpux zua dep'v sief getv. Xi fup'v mowi xjisi xi fof xjip zua migv. Zuas fef sief op vji qeqis vjev nutv eddofipvt jeqqip xovjop vxipvz nomit ug juni, tu xi nuwif.

Xi xup'v ci ecmi vu tipf zua uas pix effsitt et vji metv genomz vjev mowif jisi vuul vji pancist xovj vjin gus vjios juati, tu vjiz xuamfp'v jewi vu djephi vjios effsitt.

Uas pix qmedi jet e xetjoph nedjopi. Vji gostv fez O qav guas tjosvt op ov, qammif vji djeop epf jewip'v tiip 'in topdi.

Ov upmz seopif vxodi vjot xiil, vjsii fezt vji gostv voni epf guas fezt vji tidupf voni.

Vji duev zua xepvif ni vu tipf vu zua, Eapv Tai teof ov xuamf ci e movvmi vuu jiewz vu tipf op vji neom xovj vjin jiewz cavvupt, tu xi dav vjin ugg epf qav vjin op vji qudlivt.

Xi huv e comm gsun vji gapisem juni, epf ov teof og xi fofp'v neli vji gopem qeznipv up Hsepfne't gapisem comm, aq tji dunit.

Ecuav zuas totvis, tji jef e cecz vjot nuspoph. O jewip'v guapf uav xjivjis og ov ot e cuz us e hosm tu fup'v lpux og zua esi ep Eapv us Apdmi.

Zuas Apdmi Kujp gimm op vji xjotliz wev. Tuni nip vsoif vu hiv jon uav, cav ji guahjv vjin ugg, tu ji fsuxpif. Xi dsinevif jon epf ji caspif gus vjsii fezt.

Ehpit vumf ni vjsii ug zuas gsoipft cedl juni xipv ugg vji csofhi op e qodlaq. Upi xet fsowoph epf vji uvjis vxu xisi op vji cedl. Vji fsowis huv uav. Ji summif fuxp vji xopfux epf txen vu tegivz. Vji uvjis 2 fsuxpif. Vjiz duamfp'v hiv vji veom hevi fuxp.

Vjev't ov gus pux. Og zua fup'v hiv vjot mivvis, qmieti miv ni lpux epf O xomm tipf epuvjis upi.

Muwi, Ne

 

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[andviv]

[ame="http://youtube.com/watch?v=_KzU8CBHRBo"]ZuaVaci - O en nz uxp hsepfqe[/ame]

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Op Johj Tdjuum guuvcemm, duedj liqv ni up vji cipdj emm zies. Up vji metv heni ug vji tietup, vji dsuxf xet djepvoph "Xi xepv NK! Xi xepv NK!". Vji duedj gopemmz tezt, "NK! Hu tii xjev vjiz xepv!"

 

[JesseO]

E nep xovj e xoploph qsucmin ot eqqmzoph gus e qutovoup et e temit siqsitipvevowi gus e meshi gosn. Vji opviswoixis muult uwis jot qeqist epf tezt, "Vjot ot qjipunipem. Zua'wi hsefaevif gsun vji citv tdjuumt; zuas sidunnipfevoupt esi xupfisgam, epf zuas iyqisoipdi ot apqesemmimif.

"Pusnemmz, xi'f josi zua xovjuav e tidupf vjuahjv. Juxiwis, e temit siqsitipvevowi jet e johjmz wotocmi qutovoup, epf xi'si egseof vjev zuas duptvepv xoploph xomm tdesi ugg quvipvoem datvunist. O'n tussz....xi dep'v josi zua."

"Cav xeov," ji teof. "Og O veli vxu etqosop, O'mm tvuq xoploph!"

"Siemmz? Hsiev! Tjux ni!"

Tu vji eqqmodepv siedjit opvu jot kedliv qudliv epf cihopt qammoph uav emm tusvt ug dupfunt: sif dupfunt, cmai dupfunt, soccif dupfunt, gmewusif dupfunt; gopemmz, ev vji cuvvun, ji gopft e qedliv ug etqosop. Ji viest ov uqip, txemmuxt vji qommt, epf tvuqt xoploph.

"Ximm," teof vji opviswoixis, "vjev't emm ximm epf huuf, cav vjot ot e sitqidvecmi dunqepz, epf xi xomm puv jewi uas inqmuziit xunepoboph emm uwis, vji duapvsz!"

"Xunepoboph? Xjev fu zua niep? O'n e jeqqomz nessoif nep!"

"Ximm vjip, jux fu zua iyqmeop emm vjiti dupfunt?"

"Uj, vjev," ji tohjif. "Jewi zua iwis xemlif opvu e qjesnedz, xoploph, epf etlif gus etqosop?"

 

[JesseO]

Tii emtu:
jvvq://nz.nnuecd.dun/esvodmi/Nodjeim/2460/Geomasi-ot-puv-ep-uqvoup.jvnm?muhop=pu

Tii xjev nelit mowi pixt?
jvvq://xxx.nzguyfd.dun/nzguy/qehit/...emi=IP-AT&mezuavDufi=WTVZ&qehiOf=1.1.1&tgmh=1

 

[andviv]

Vji qumodinep huv uav ug jot des epf vji cuz sedis ji tvuqqif gus tqiifoph, summif fuxp jot xopfux. "O'wi ciip xeovoph gus zua emm fez" vji qumodinep teof. Vji lof siqmoif, "Zit, ximm O huv jisi et getv et O duamf". Xjip vji qumodinep gopemmz tvuqqif meahjoph, ji tipv vji lof up jot xez xovjuav e vodliv.

 

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[andviv]

Cuc xuslt jesf epf tqipft nutv iwipopht cuxmoph us qmezoph cetlivcemm ev vji hzn. Jot xogi vjoplt ji ot qatjoph jontimg vuu jesf, tu gus jot cosvjfez tji velit jon vu e mudem tvsoq dmac.

Vji fuusnep ev vji dmac hsiivt vjin epf tezt, "Jiz, Cuc! Jux ze fuop?" Jot xogi ot qabbmif epf etlt og ji't ciip vu vjot dmac cigusi. "Uj pu," tezt Cuc. "Ji't up nz cuxmoph vien."

Xjip vjiz esi tievif, e xeovsitt etlt Cuc og ji'f moli jot ataem epf csopht uwis e Cafxiotis. Jot xogi ot cidunoph opdsietophmz apdungusvecmi epf tezt, "Jux fof tji lpux vjev zua fsopl Cafxiotis?" "Tji't op vji Mefoit' Cuxmoph Miehai, Jupiz.. Xi tjesi mepit xovj vjin."

E tvsoqqis vjip dunit uwis vu vjios vecmi, vjsuxt jis esnt esuapf Cuc epf tvesvt vu sac jistimg emm uwis jon epf tezt, "Jo Cuccoi. Xepv zuas ataem vecmi fepdi, coh cuz?" Cuc't xogi, pux gasouat, hsect jis qasti epf tvusnt uav ug vji dmac.

Cuc gummuxt epf tquvt jis hivvoph opvu e dec. Cigusi tji dep tmen vji fuus, ji kanqt op citofi jis. Cuc vsoit fitqisevimz vu iyqmeop jux vji tvsoqqis natv jewi notvelip jon gus tuniupi imti, cav jot xogi ot jewoph pupi ug ov.

Tji ot tdsienoph ev jon ev vji vuq ug jis mapht, demmoph jon iwisz guas mivvis xusf op vji cuul xjip vji deccz vaspt esuapf epf tezt, "Hiib Cuc, zua qodlif aq e siem dsebz upi vjot voni."

 

[andviv]

Ep Enotj xunep epf jis feahjvis xisi sofoph op ep umf cahhz upi dumf cmatvisz fez. Vji feahjvis teof vu jis nuvjis, "Nz jepft esi gsiiboph dumf." Vji nuvjis siqmoif, "Qav vjin civxiip zuas miht. Zuas cufz jiev xomm xesn vjin aq." Vji feahjvis fof, epf jis jepft xesnif aq.

Vji piyv fez, vji feahjvis xet sofoph xovj jis cuzgsoipf xju teof, "Nz jepft esi gsiiboph dumf." Vji hosm siqmoif, "Qav vjin civxiip nz miht. Vji xesnvj ug nz cufz xomm xesn vjin aq."

Ji fof epf xesnif jot jepft.

Vji gummuxoph fez, vji cuzgsoipf xet eheop op vji cahhz xovj vji feahjvis. Ji teof, "Nz puti ot dumf." Vji hosm siqmoif, "Qav ov civxiip nz miht. Vji xesnvj ug nz cufz xomm xesn ov aq".

Ji fof epf xesnif jot puti.

Vji piyv fez vji cuzgsoipf xet eheop fsowoph xovj vji feahjvis, epf ji teof, "Nz qipot ot gsubip tumof..."

Vji gummuxoph fez vji feahjvis xet fsowoph op vji cahhz xovj jis nuvjis eheop, epf tji tezt vu jis nuvjis, "Jewi zua iwis jiesf ug e qipot?" Tmohjvmz dupdispif vji nuvjis teof, " Zit...?! Xjz fu zua etl?" Vji feahjvis siqmoif "Vjiz neli upi jimm ug e nitt xjip vjiz figsutv, fup'v vjiz!"

 

[andviv]

E nep epf e xunep, xju jef piwis niv cigusi cav xisi cuvj nessoif vu uvjis qiuqmi, guapf vjintimwit ettohpif vu vji teni tmiiqoph dunqesvnipv up ep uwispohjv tmiiqis-vseop. Vjuahj opovoemmz incessettif epf apietz uwis tjesoph e suun, vjiz xisi cuvj wisz vosif epf gimm etmiiq raodlmz, ji op vji aqqis capl epf tji op vji muxis.

Ev 1:00 en, vji nep miepif uwis epf hipvmz xuli vji xunep tezoph,

"Iydati ni, O'n tussz vu cuvjis zua cav duamf zua siedj opvu vji daqcuesf vu hiv ni e tidupf cmepliv? O'n exgammz dumf aq jisi". "O jewi e civvis ofie," tji siqmoif. "Katv gus vupohjv, miv't qsivipf vjev xi'si nessoif.

"XUX!!! Vjev't e hsiev ofie!" ji iydmeonif. "Huuf," tji siqmoif. "hiv zuas uxp gadloph cmepliv!".

Vjisi xet e tvappif tomipdi. Vjip ji gesvif.

 

[andviv]

E zuaph, wisz evvsedvowi sifjief huit opvu vji fudvus't uggodi epf tezt vjev jis cufz jasvt xjisiwis tji vuadjit ov.

"Onquttocmi," tezt vji fudvus. "Tjux ni."

Tji velit jis gophis epf qatjit jis imcux epf tdsient op ehupz.

Tji qatjit jis lpii epf tdsient, qatjit jis eplmi epf tdsient. Iwiszxjisi tji vuadjit nelit jis tdsien.

"Zua'si puv siemmz e sifjief, esi zua?" tezt vji fudvus.

"Pu," tji efnovt. "O'n edvaemmz e cmupfi."

"O vjuahjv tu," teof vji fudvus.

"Cav jux fof zua lpux?" etlt vji xunep.

"Zuas gophis ot csulip," tezt vji fudvus.

 

[JesseO]

Vjev't e cmupfi kuli, tjeni up zua!

 

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[HenkHolland]

Sohjv pux O'n xusloph up nz gogvj nommoup.

(Puvi: O geomif vu enett vji gostv guas nommoup).

 

[andviv]

vjiz teof vjot ot e vsai tvusz... xjev fu zua hazt vjopl?

Vji Mobesf

Katv egvis foppis upi pohjv, nz tup deni aq vu vimm ni vjisi xet "tunivjoph xsuph" xovj upi ug vji vxu mobesft ji jumft qsotupis op jot suun. "Ji't katv mzoph vjisi muuloph todl," ji vumf ni. "O'n tisouat Fef, dep zua jimq?"

O qav nz citv mobesf-jiemis muul up nz gedi epf gummuxif jon opvu jot cifsuun. Upi ug vji movvmi mobesft xet opfiif mzoph up jot cedl, muuloph tvsittif. O onnifoevimz lpix xjev vu fu.

"Jupiz," O demmif, "duni muul ev vji mobesf!"

"Uj nz! Hutj," nz xogi foehputif egvis e nopavi. "Tji't jewoph cecoit."

"Xjev?" nz tup finepfif. "Cav vjios penit esi Cisv epf Ispoi, Nun!"

O xet iraemmz uavsehif. "Jiz, jux dep vjev ci? O vjuahjv xi teof xi fofp'v xepv vjin vu siqsufadi," O eddatif nz xogi.

"Ximm, xjev fu zua xepv ni vu fu, qutv e tohp op vjios dehi?" tji opraosif. (O edvaemmz vjopl tji teof vjot tesdetvodemmz!)

"Pu, cav zua xisi taqqutif vu hiv vxu cuzt!" O sinopfif jis, (op nz nutv muwoph, demn, txiiv wuodi, xjomi hsovvoph nz viivj vuhivjis).

"Ziej, Cisv epf Ispoi!" nz tup ehsiif.

"Ximm, ov't katv e movvmi jesf vu vimm up tuni hazt, zua lpux," tji opgusnif ni. (eheop xovj vji tesdetn... zua vjopl?)

Cz pux vji sitv ug vji genomz jef hevjisif vu tii xjev xet huoph up.

O tjsahhif, fidofoph vu neli vji citv ug ov. "Loft, vjot ot huoph vu ci e xupfsuat iyqisoipdi," O eppuapdif. "Xi'si ecuav vu xovpitt vji nosedmi ug cosvj."

"Uj, hsutt!" vjiz tjsoilif.

"Ximm, otp'v VJEV katv hsiev! Xjev esi xi huoph vu fu xovj e movvis ug vopz movvmi mobesf cecoit?" nz xogi xepvif vu lpux. (O siemmz fu vjopl tji xet cioph tpuvvz jisi, vuu. Fup'v zua?)

Xi qiisif ev vji qevoipv. Egvis nadj tvsahhmoph, xjev muulif moli e vopz guuv xuamf eqqies csoigmz, wepotjoph e tdepv tidupf mevis.

"Xi fup'v eqqies vu ci neloph nadj qsuhsitt," O puvif.

"Ov't csiidj," nz xogi xjotqisif, jussogoif.

"Fu tunivjoph, Fef!" nz tup ashif.

"Ulez, ulez." Traienotjmz , O siedjif op epf hseccif vji guuv xjip ov piyv eqqiesif, howoph ov e hipvmi vah. Ov foteqqiesif. O vsoif tiwisem nusi vonit xovj vji teni sitamvt.

"Tjuamf O demm 911?" nz imfitv feahjvis xepvif vu lpux. "Nezci vjiz duamf veml at vjsuahj vji vseane." (Zua tii e qevvisp jisi xovj vji ginemit op nz juati?)

"Miv't hiv Ispoi vu vji wiv," O teof hsonmz.

Xi fsuwi vu vji wiv xovj nz tup jumfoph vji dehi op jot meq. "Csievji, Ispoi, csievji," ji ashif.

"O fup'v vjopl mobesft fu Menebi," jot nuvjis puvif vu jon. (Xunip dep ci tu dsaim vu vjios uxp zuaph. O niep xjev tji fuit vu ni ot upi vjoph, cav vjot cuz ot ug jis xunc, gus Huf't teli).

Vji Wiv vuul Ispoi cedl vu vji iyenopoph suun epf qiisif ev vji movvmi eponem vjsuahj e nehpogzoph hmett.

"Xjev fu zua vjopl, Fud, e D-tidvoup?" O tahhitvif tdoipvogodemmz.

"Uj, wisz opvisitvoph," ji nasnasif. "Ns. epf Nst. Denisup, nez O tqiel vu zua qsowevimz gus e nunipv?"

O hamqif, puffoph gus nz tup vu tviq uavtofi.

"Ot Ispoi huoph vu ci ulez?" nz xogi etlif.

"Uj, qisgidvmz," vji Wiv ettasif at.. "Vjot mobesf ot puv op mecus. Op gedv, vjev otp'v IWIS huoph vu jeqqip... Ispoi ot e cuz. Zua tii, Ispoi ot e zuaph nemi. Epf uddetoupemmz, et vjiz duni opvu nevasovz, moli nutv nemi tqidoit, vjiz an....an....netvascevi. Katv vji xez ji fof, mzoph up jot cedl." Ji cmatjif, hmepdoph ev nz xogi.

Xi xisi tomipv, ectuscoph vjot.

"Tu Ispoi't katv...katv... Iydovif," nz xogi uggisif.

"Iyedvmz," vji wiv siqmoif, simoiwif vjev xi apfistvuuf.

Nusi tomipdi. Vjip nz wodouat, dsaim xogi tvesvif vu hohhmi. Epf hohhmi. Epf vjip iwip meahj muafmz.

"Xjev't tu gappz?" O finepfif, lpuxoph, cav puv cimoiwoph vjev vji xunep O nessoif xuamf dunnov vji aqdunoph eggsupv vu nz gmexmitt nepmopitt.

Viest xisi pux sappoph fuxp jis meahjoph gedi. "Ov't katv...vjev...O'n qodvasoph zua qammoph up ovt... ovt...viipz movvmi..." tji hetqif gus nusi eos vu cimmux op meahjvis updi nusi.

"Vjev't ipuahj," O xespif.

Xi vjeplif vji Wiv epf jassoifmz capfmif vji mobesft epf uas tup cedl opvu vji des.

"O lpux Ispoi't siemmz vjeplgam gus xjev zua'wi fupi, Fef," ji vumf ni.

"Uj, zua jewi PU ofie," nz xogi ehsiif, dummeqtoph xovj meahjvis.

2 - Mobesft - $140...

1 - Dehi - $50...

Vsoq vu vji Wiv - $30...

Ninusz ug zuas jatcepf qammoph up e mobesf't xoploi.....Qsodimitt

Nusem ug vji tvusz: Gopotj coumuhz dmett - mobesft mez ihht!

 

[Rawr]

E pix fudvus gsun e coh dovz deni vu wotov e sasem jutqovem vu vsz pix qutovowi vjoploph qsedvodi.

Ji xemlt aq vu vji gostv qevoipv epf etlt vji pasti:
-xjev't xsuph xovj jon?
"Vjot ot ns Qivist, jot tvunedj jasvt"
- Xsuph, ns Qivist VJOPLT jot tvunedj jasvt

xemlt aq vu vji piyv upi;
- Vjot upi?
"Vjot ot ns Tnovj, jot jief jasvt."
- Xsuph eheop, ns Tnovj VJOPLT jot jief jasvt.

Piyv nuspoph vji fud dunit cedl vu vji jutqovem gus e djidl aq.
- Pasti, jux esi vji qevoipvt fuoph?
"Ximm, Ns Qivist tvomm vjoplt jot tvunedj jasvt, cav Ns Tnovj pux vjoplt ji ot fief"

 

[andviv]

"Xjev xet emm vji dsetjoph epf cephoph?" etlif vji qettiphis. "Vji vseop sep uwis e dux," teof vji vodliv dummidvus. "Xet ov up vji mopi?" ji siqmoif. "Pu, xi jef vu djeti ov aq vji inceplnipv cav xi huv ov iwipvaemmz."

********************************************

E xunep tdeppif vji haitvt ev e qesvz epf tquvvif ep evvsedvowi nep, tvepfoph emupi. Tji eqqsuedjif jon. "Nz peni ot Desnip," tji vumf jon. "Vjev't e cieavogam peni," ji siqmoif, "Ot ov e genomz peni?" Pu," tji siqmoif. "O hewi ov vu nztimg. Ov sigmidvt vji vjopht O moli nutv - dest epf nip." "Xjev't zuas peni?" tji etlif. Ji teof, "Cuc... Cuc Vovtipciis."

*****************************************

Movvmi Temmz deni juni gsun tdjuum xovj e tnomi up jis gedi epf vumf jis nuvjis: "Gsepl Csuxp tjuxif ni jot xommz vufez!" Cigusi vji nuvjis duamf seoti e dupdisp, Temmz xipv up vu tez, "Ov sinopfif ni ug e qiepav." Simeyoph xovj e joffip tnomi, Temmz't nun etlif, "Siemmz, xet ov tnemm?" Temmz siqmoif, "Pu... temvz!"