Jealousy is a map.

[Primeperiwinkle]

Being jealous of what other people are doing is a snarling evil beast in my head, roaring up at the oddest moments to steal my breath away.

You ever feel at ease, peaceful, happy discussing things with a bunch of people and then one of them happens to bring up some new enterprise or goal and suddenly your throat is closing up with enough jealous rage to break something?

yeaaaa it’s not fun. Anyhoo.. I’ve been noticing that my jealousy is tied directly to what I think I’m incapable of, things I think I’m not smart enough to do, things I’m not worthy of trying. Emo stuff is tough.. but I know from experience that working through my emotions launches me forward to all new powerful places. So this month I’ve been wrestling with jealousy.

And I realized.. if I’m jealous of you (and you’re doing well) it’s because you’re accomplishing something I’m still too proud to admit I’m terrified of. It’s easier to hide behind arrogance or contempt for “idiots” then it is to just say - “I need help.” “I’m new at this.” “I’m starting small.”

This evening as I’m sat in front of a roaring fire I picked up one of my favorite books of all time The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a powerful book that unleashes our creative side. Here’s what I found:


So many posts on this forum, written by extremely successful people, say the same. Just act. Keep on moving forward. You can do it. I needed to hear this message tonight... maybe you did too.

 

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[Deleted50669]

This is an important topic. When you go from competing against yourself to competing with others, you enable jealousy. The only thing that's ever allowed me to be productive and stop chasing other peoples' tails is to hyper focus on my own progress. My jealously shows up as heavy resentment. When someone is in a position I'm aiming for and they start flapping their gums, it's hard not to see them as the new target. But it's important not to see them as the new target, because that is putting the prize on the pedestal instead of the process.

 

[socaldude]

When I was young me and my older sister used to fool around calling each other “jelly” instead of jealous. You’re jelly!

There’s a branch in meta-cognition that deals with emotional intelligence. Emotions usually involve a polarized syntax. In other words you can’t have one emotion without having the propensity for its antonym or contra-judgement. The opposite of jealousy being compersion. So if you are jealous person you probably take pleasure in seeing others succeed or fail. It’s like how you can’t have fear without hope and vice a versa.

This explains how it’s possible to hate someone you used to love.

Make sure you check out the emotion wheel by Robert Plutchik.

 

[Thoelt53]

Acceptance and gratitude quells jealousy. Accept that other people are further ahead of you in the game, and be grateful for what you have today.

Channel your jealousy into productivity. If other people have achieved a goal that you also want to achieve, it just means that it is possible. Take it as a sign from God or the universe, confirming that your goals and ideas are feasible.

Be happy and grateful for those who have gone before you to prove what is possible.

 

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[Primeperiwinkle]

Acceptance and gratitude quells jealousy. Accept that other people are further ahead of you in the game, and be grateful for what you have today.

Channel your jealousy into productivity. If other people have achieved a goal that you also want to achieve, it just means that it is possible. Take it as a sign from God or the universe, confirming that your goals and ideas are feasible.

Be happy and grateful for those who have gone before you to prove what is possible.

I kinda disagree. I’m an incredibly thankful person.. it’s my core belief. But sometimes being thankful about a million things doesn’t stop spikes of negative emotions. I’d rather know how to admit the jealousy and move past it.

Confession, repentance, and reception of love works best for me. If I’ve taken the time to share here I’m already on to the next step, usually. Thanks man.

 

[socaldude]

Maybe this should be a discussion about how to be spiritual in a tit-for-tat game theory universe?

 

[Kevin88660]

Being jealous of what other people are doing is a snarling evil beast in my head, roaring up at the oddest moments to steal my breath away.

You ever feel at ease, peaceful, happy discussing things with a bunch of people and then one of them happens to bring up some new enterprise or goal and suddenly your throat is closing up with enough jealous rage to break something?

yeaaaa it’s not fun. Anyhoo.. I’ve been noticing that my jealousy is tied directly to what I think I’m incapable of, things I think I’m not smart enough to do, things I’m not worthy of trying. Emo stuff is tough.. but I know from experience that working through my emotions launches me forward to all new powerful places. So this month I’ve been wrestling with jealousy.

And I realized.. if I’m jealous of you (and you’re doing well) it’s because you’re accomplishing something I’m still too proud to admit I’m terrified of. It’s easier to hide behind arrogance or contempt for “idiots” then it is to just say - “I need help.” “I’m new at this.” “I’m starting small.”

This evening as I’m sat in front of a roaring fire I picked up one of my favorite books of all time The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a powerful book that unleashes our creative side. Here’s what I found:
View attachment 35724
View attachment 35725
So many posts on this forum, written by extremely successful people, say the same. Just act. Keep on moving forward. You can do it. I needed to hear this message tonight... maybe you did too.

Envy can be a force for good.

I noticed people who constantly pushed themselves are usually hyper-competitive.

It is not good if it just leads to whining and cursing but no actions.

 

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[alexkuzmov]

I kinda disagree. I’m an incredibly thankful person.. it’s my core belief. But sometimes being thankful about a million things doesn’t stop spikes of negative emotions. I’d rather know how to admit the jealousy and move past it.

Confession, repentance, and reception of love works best for me. If I’ve taken the time to share here I’m already on to the next step, usually. Thanks man.

Acceptance might be the only way sometimes.
We can do a lot of stuff if we put in the effort.
Not everything though.
Some things we envy we'll never have. Thats just how life is.

BTW, noticed how we never envy what we hate ?

 

[Deleted78083]

it’s because you’re accomplishing something I’m still too proud to admit I’m terrified of.

Yes.

And while jealousy is your way to freedom, I'd say that fear is in fact, your real path to freedom.

 

[Cyberthal]

Jealosy is good because paternal certainty equals investment equals civilization.

Envy is a sin that regularly causes democide and mass famine.

Men are genetically high variance, which means more of us are born losers and winners. Even if you fail, you're doing your part. Team Human hurtles through potentially hostile space, its radio cone growing wider. Time is short.

 

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[Stargazer]

This evening as I’m sat in front of a roaring fire I picked up one of my favorite books of all time

I'm jealous!

'Oh beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.'

Dan