Primeperiwinkle
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- Nov 30, 2018
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Being jealous of what other people are doing is a snarling evil beast in my head, roaring up at the oddest moments to steal my breath away.
You ever feel at ease, peaceful, happy discussing things with a bunch of people and then one of them happens to bring up some new enterprise or goal and suddenly your throat is closing up with enough jealous rage to break something?
yeaaaa it’s not fun. Anyhoo.. I’ve been noticing that my jealousy is tied directly to what I think I’m incapable of, things I think I’m not smart enough to do, things I’m not worthy of trying. Emo stuff is tough.. but I know from experience that working through my emotions launches me forward to all new powerful places. So this month I’ve been wrestling with jealousy.
And I realized.. if I’m jealous of you (and you’re doing well) it’s because you’re accomplishing something I’m still too proud to admit I’m terrified of. It’s easier to hide behind arrogance or contempt for “idiots” then it is to just say - “I need help.” “I’m new at this.” “I’m starting small.”
This evening as I’m sat in front of a roaring fire I picked up one of my favorite books of all time The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a powerful book that unleashes our creative side. Here’s what I found:
So many posts on this forum, written by extremely successful people, say the same. Just act. Keep on moving forward. You can do it. I needed to hear this message tonight... maybe you did too.
You ever feel at ease, peaceful, happy discussing things with a bunch of people and then one of them happens to bring up some new enterprise or goal and suddenly your throat is closing up with enough jealous rage to break something?
yeaaaa it’s not fun. Anyhoo.. I’ve been noticing that my jealousy is tied directly to what I think I’m incapable of, things I think I’m not smart enough to do, things I’m not worthy of trying. Emo stuff is tough.. but I know from experience that working through my emotions launches me forward to all new powerful places. So this month I’ve been wrestling with jealousy.
And I realized.. if I’m jealous of you (and you’re doing well) it’s because you’re accomplishing something I’m still too proud to admit I’m terrified of. It’s easier to hide behind arrogance or contempt for “idiots” then it is to just say - “I need help.” “I’m new at this.” “I’m starting small.”
This evening as I’m sat in front of a roaring fire I picked up one of my favorite books of all time The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a powerful book that unleashes our creative side. Here’s what I found:
So many posts on this forum, written by extremely successful people, say the same. Just act. Keep on moving forward. You can do it. I needed to hear this message tonight... maybe you did too.
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