I'm sorry, but this is going to be painful for a lot of you...

[Dumisani]

I'm not sure if you're ready for what I'm about to ask you to do.

It's going to be painful, you're most likely going to cry, and it's going to suck at first. But I can promise you that things are going to be a thousand times more painful in 5 or 10 years if you don't do what I'm asking you to do right now.

The reason why it's so important that you do this right now, today...

Somewhere in the world, a man who smoked cigarettes his entire life was just diagnosed with lung cancer during a routine checkup at his doctor's office. The man has a wife, three children, and financial responsibilities to take care of them all.

The doctor just gave him three months to live.

Sitting there on the table feeling naked in his underwear, the grown man breaks out in tears.

Every emotion you could possibly expect to feel in this dark moment came rushing to the surface. The fear of what might happen to his family when he's gone. Will they be able to afford the expensive mortgage payments? Will they be ok without him? The feeling of regret. Knowing that all of his life, he told himself he should quit smoking; but decades later, he never actually did what he said he was going to do.

He's now in shock and crying uncontrollable tears of remorse and regret.

The nurse in the hallway hears his gasps of pain an stopped in her tracks, as her head went down in despair, knowing the man just got the bad news She lets out a deep breath of sorrow and continues to walk on to her next patient.

As the man leaves the doctor's office shell-shocked, in a trance-like state, he reaches his car and sees the cigarette butt on the ground next to the driver's side door.

That was the last cigarette the man ever would ever smoke in his entire life.

The pack of Marlboros resting on his center console was no longer an instinctual habit where he "reaches over and lights up a smoke" but instead is now a painful reminder of his impending death. The sight that once used to be so normal to him now brings up the pain and agony which twists a knot in his stomach.

What's he going to do now? It's already too late.

If he could only look back in time and scream to himself: "Quit smoking now! It's bad for your health."

But what's the problem with that?

People have been telling this to him his entire life. He said he was going to quit smoking on many occasions.

He logically knew that he should have quit smoking decades ago. He saw the pictures of the charred up lungs in health class. All the evidence and reminders were here.

So why, after years of knowing this, did he finally decide to quit now?

Before you answer this question for yourself, I would like you to strip away the content of the problem (doctor/diagnosis/etc.), and pay attention to the deeper structure of what is going on inside of his body, primarily with his:

1. Thoughts, and
2. Emotions

When you strip it down to it's most basic components, the reason why he decided to quit now is because of the painful emotions he felt in the present moment.

Pay attention to the part where you feel what I mean about the present moment.

• When his mother yelled at him to quit smoking in high school? The pain was a 1/10.
• When his girlfriend broke up with him during college because he always smelled like smoke? The pain was a 4/10. Well that was until he went out to the bars and met someone else later that night. In between rounds of beers, he went outside to light up a cigarette with his friends and share a good time.
• When he began getting that smokers cough at the age of 40? Maybe a 3/10 on the pain scale.

But the painful emotions he felt were not strong enough to grab ahold of him and change his behavior.

If you put a frog in a boiling pot of water, he's going to instinctively jump away when he feels the pain. But if the water is warm and he is slowing beginning to boil, he's going to swim around until it''s already too late.

Sorry little froggy, you should have read my email newsletter.

If your favorite delicious treat is on the table in font of you, you're emotions are going to be the force inside of you that drives you to grab it and put it in your mouth.

Imagine as if the emotions you feel are some unseen esoteric force that controls your body. Whatever logic goes on in your head has no defensive power against the emotions that cause you to do what you do. It's like you're possessed.

But what if you could control what emotions you feel, knowing what emotions will cause you to change your behavior?

The moment he felt the realization about him dying in three months (10/10 emotion), the fearful emotions of his family being left behind (20/10 emotion), and everything else that exploded at once when the doctor delivered that nuclear bomb of a message: These painful emotions instantly shifted his behavior.

But at that point, it's already too late. What if you can create this change in your life today?

Think about you and what you're looking to take action on and achieve in your life.That ONE goal you set you for yourself and that you're not taking action towards. You don't feel those emotions of pain that are decades away. It's nothing but a logical thought right now, with no emotional power attached to it.

In 2012, I began learning about mindfulness.

You've probably read The Power of Now where the author famously introduced the concept that it's always the present moment. The past and future are nothing but thoughts in your mind, and it is always the present moment.

Instead of viewing time as something where we "move through time". The time is always the present moment, and we measure things by a movement of energy.

• It's either happening now.
• Or it's not happening now.

• It's either here now.
• Or it's not here now.

If a person says "I'm going to start eating healthy tomorrow." What does that imply? It implies that the unhealthy eating habit is still happening now (problem not solved). When the infamous tomorrow rolls around, let's just eat that chocolate cake one last time (still happening).

If something is not physically happening now, you are pushing it into the indefinite future because you throw it in the category of (not happening).

You have to pull the pain that you'll feel if you continue to procrastinate into your body...right now. Not just the thoughts of what bad things might happen. You need to actually feel the emotions when you look down at your body.

The lesson here: In order to eliminate this procrastination, you have to pull the emotions from the future (not happening), into the present moment (happening now). This way when you think of doing the (bad behavior), you actually feel the emotions of pain. Your emotions you feel in the present moment are what you are going for here...

• When that smoker got dumped by his girlfriend during college and was laughing and partying with his friends at the bar; drinking that beer and "lighting up that smoke" out front...this resulted in him feeling positive emotions when he smokes (in the present moment).
• When you eat that chocolate cake, you feel the positive emotions...in the present moment.

What are you procrastinating towards?

What's the one big goal that you set out for yourself, something that you are not taking action on?

Now is the time where you will learn how to attach so much pain to the thought of not achieving that goal, and pain to the habit of procrastination, that the part of you which procrastinated in the past will be left behind in the doctor's office parking lot next to that man's last cigarette butt and pack of cigarettes which he tossed out the window.

Because when the bad habit is gone, there's no more "Just this one last time."or "I'll do it tomorrow."

If the doctor just warned him that he should quit smoking and he might get cancer from it...that cigarette would be lit up again.

How do you collapse the bad habit of procrastination?

The answer rests in your deepest long-term fear (the complete opposite side of the coin from your successful vision of the future).

On one hand, you achieve your goal (relationship/money/lose weight/etc.) and you have this goal you set out for yourself with these great positive emotions if you achieve it. On the other hand, you have the fear of what life will be like if you don't achieve this goal.

Quit Smoking Example: "Quit smoking - live a long happy life." (Positive emotion).

If you don't quit smoking, what is the worst thing that can happen to you:

• Cancer.
• 3 months to live if you quit now. 3 weeks if you keep smoking.
• Leaving family behind.
• Leaving family in financial ruin because you're the breadwinner.
• How will all this feel if this scenario has already happened? Would you pick up another cigarette? Or would you tack on the extra 2 months to your life and spend it with your loved ones?

Exercise and Eating Healthy: Looking in the mirror being obese, nobody will want to date you, fast forward 20 years, diabetes, having to stab yourself with an insulin needle every day to keep your blood sugar in check (are you simply reading this or can you actually pretend to feel the emotion of the needle being stuck in your arm?), arteries clog up, heart attack, stroke, you can't speak correctly because of the stroke, and you're forced in a wheel chair. Living a life feeling groggy all the time.

Someone else has to wipe your *** because you can't physically do it anymore.

You are sitting in a wheelchair next to a hospital bed, in this vegetable-like state, barely able to communicate as you look at your loved ones feeling helpless and hopeless while you say to yourself:

"What the hell have you been doing your whole life? Why haven't you been taking care of your health?"

And when you look back on how you chose to live your life, you are filled with a feeling of regret and despair.

Looking back from this moment of immense pain, what can you choose to eat instead? Does the bag of potato chips make all this worth it?

Answer this to yourself: What is one way you can be healthier today?

I'm going to stop eating potato chips after typing this to you. Not "one last one", but that food craving already gone. How'd I do it? simply by typing the description above to you, which took me all of two minutes.

Building a your dream business/going after your financial goals/etc:
They call me the ghost of Christmas future.
You're going to be 65 years old and laid off from your job with no pension because we outsourced what you do to technology, you're living paycheck to paycheck and you're past due on your rent. You're stuck and (by this point) you have no escape. Nobody is going to hire you with your outdated skills now. The procrastinative actions (I made this word up) you've been taking in the past have finally caught up to you.

The landlord evicts you, you're buried in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. The collectors keep calling you and you eventually have to turn of your phone because you can't stand the sound of your ringtone. As you drag the last bag of belongings from your now-empty apartment to your car, you realize that your car has just been repossessed moments ago as you're now homeless on the street at the age of 65 with one suitcase full of belongings.

No friends, no family, no nothing because you've been playing computer games 12 hours a day.

At this point, there's no coming back from this. It's already too late.

Embarrassed. Ashamed. You should have been building up your business and skill-set decades ago instead of browsing around on social media, watching TV, drinking alcohol, smoking weed, and playing video games.
Or what is it that you like to do instead? What's that one thing you've been doing in your life that has held you back from your dreams?

But it's too late for that now.

Are you just emotionlessly reading these words, or are you actually feeling the emotions in this present moment?

Stop reading. Feel your body. Are the emotions here? Yes or no?

Now here's the real kicker: From this emotional state of already being in this worst fear, looking at the same things that once were joyful (procrastinating) looks a bit different to you, doesn't it?

Keep building them up from this worst fear and then when you imagine that you live it now, look back at all the things you could have shouldn't have done.

All because you didn't commit a few hours a night after work building your future right now.

You get the picture. What is it that you're working on as you read this...Shopping addiction? Gambling too much? Relationships?

I'm still not craving those potato chips. They've been my downfall for six months. Yuck. Now they're gone.

Here is the final test:

When you write out your worst case scenario if you keep procrastinating on the one thing you know you are here to do, go into an exaggerated amount of detail like I did here. It's not enough to just put the words on paper. Let me repeat that. It's not enough to just put the words on paper.

You have to invoke so much pain in what will happen if you don't take action towards achieving your goals; that you feel this pain in the present moment.

But even that's not enough.

Are you sitting around feeling the emotions in despair? Or are you feeling the emotions that drive you to do something? Are you sitting around with your hand in a scorching hot fire? Or are you pulling your hand away?

1. You have to feel the painful emotions (not in the future), but in the present moment. Look down at your body and do you feel them? Are these emotions attached to the thought of procrastinating or that bad habit of yours?
2. You have to make sure the emotions drive you to actually do something right now, today. Yeah, you can sit around in the hot fire and feel the pain, but it means nothing if you don't jump out.

What's one change you've already made in your life by reading what you read today?

Just the simple thought of not doing what you need to do should make you feel as painfully miserable as the man felt in the moment the doctor diagnosed him with cancer that will kill him in three months.

1. Build your dream.
2. Eat that apple and jump on the treadmill.
3. Say hi to your future partner.

All of a sudden, the pain of doing the procrastinative (there's that word again) things you've been doing is so much worse than going out and just doing what you failed to do in the past.

And I say this in all seriousness: If you're not crying or feeling the nuclear-bomb-of-an-emotion with just the thought of not taking action towards your goal; you're not attaching enough pain to it.

I have a challenge for you: Can you invoke the feelings of pain right now?

Are you actually doing something to change because of the feelings?

After reading this, aren't you a little disappointed in the way you've been procrastinating knowing where it led you in this painful life of yours? It's too late to escape now that it's here. But looking back in time, what can you begin to do differently to avoid this trap?
Before you go to sleep tonight, write out your own exaggerated pain story. Can you make it more painful and dramatic than mine?

I hope you cry.

Because that's what causes you to change and you can thank me later.

I told you that it'll be painful at first, but what this does it collapse the habit of procrastination, and these emotions drive you to do what you need to do.

Truly inspiring not easy to understand even for most South Africans.

 

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[Gareth]

Reminds me of that poem by Tecumseh....

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

 

[MiguelHammond10]

Great Post, Thanks for sharing such useful information with us,i have learnt much from it.

 

[Nemolein]

Have you already published your book? Those long posts were the best I ever read for months. Thanks for all!

 

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[LeoistheSun]

I want to write a letter to myself from my future self (if I dont do anything), but I find it hard to write. Like, im not sure what to say to myself...

 

[AndrewNC]

Have you already published your book? Those long posts were the best I ever read for months. Thanks for all!

I've published two of my books so far (I wrote this post a while ago and I forgot if I mentioned a specific one in it).

I have three others that are virtually done, but I'm holding off on releasing them to focus on the marketing and launch strategy/final edits.

 

[Wolfman]

TLDR, sorry @AndrewNC ....

Okay that's a lie, I did read it and then I got Chrome to read it to me to make it sink in even more. So many of us block emotions and from letting ourselves feel things because then we don't need to deal with them.

I know I have been. I need to sort out my work and finances to bring in substantially more money to support a number of new dependents in my life (through sick health... I've not started taking in strays right yet). I know I need to make some changes and stop spending hours plodding along doing busy work and get down to the real work... but I've not.

I've spent most of it moaning to myself about how hard my life has begun having to deal with these increased family duties. I have attached literally no emotion to it, but annoyance... which strangely enough has motivated me to do nothing.

Then the terrorist attack happened at London Bridge (where I've spent plenty of time) and I was glued to the news watching it happen and thinking "Shit. That could have been me... and I've literally done nothing worth remembering with my life" and then I watched the One Love Manchester concert. Now I'm a totally unsoppy woman, but Ariana Grande (who I had no idea about before..) got me right in the feels. There was a woman more than a decade younger than me carrying the weight of those who died after her concert on her shoulders not caught up in the "Poor me... why do I deserve to be in this situation", but truly standing there wanting to make a positive difference, however hard it was for her... because this was about making a positive difference.

I was SO ashamed of my life watching that concert.

I don't know when I got so selfish and bitter, but f*ck me the pain at that moment was too much for me to not begina much-needed change.

I'm glad you shared that. Thanks

 

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[Wolfman]

I've published two of my books so far (I wrote this post a while ago and I forgot if I mentioned a specific one in it).

I have three others that are virtually done, but I'm holding off on releasing them to focus on the marketing and launch strategy/final edits.

Hi Andrew, I have heard a lot of people mention NLP. So there must be something to it. Let's assume it is valuable for motivation/selliing/focus/discipline. What sort of investment of time did you make in order for it to be worth it? Since you've had broad experience w/ people, what is a good average or range of time/week new entrepreneurs are warranted in devoting to learning NLP?
Thanks, Greg

 

[Wolfman]

"I don't read long things"
-You

Hi Andrew, Since you're part of the younger generation I have a silly question for you based on what someone just said here. What is "trolling"? Is it bad? Can it be good?
My mother used to read me books and trolls were like big dolls that hung out under bridges and said confusing things but were also scary helpers on the hero's journey of the soul. Thanks, Greg P.S. Did you spend that $101 I sent you yet?

 

[Milkanic]

The content is good but this is border line plagiarism, dude. Everything here, down to the examples, is from Tony Robbins. I hope your books offer a little more than a rewrite of "Awaken the Giant Within".

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FbjyAYP0kA

 

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[AndrewNC]

but this is border line plagiarism, dude. Everything here, down to the examples, is from Tony Robbins.

Nope.

The content is good

Yup.

 

[Milkanic]

Nope.

My bad, I guess Tony is copying you then. Here is a random clip on youtube that he must have used this post as an outline (and then took a time machine to 1991 to write Awaken the Giant Within).

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrxMk7_YRs4

1.) Pain vs Pleasure and Leverage (4:00)
2.) Christmas Carol/Dickens Process (5:57)
3.) Smoking Past/Present (6:48)
4.) Relationships Past/Present (7:30)

 

[Wolfman]

Nope.


Yup.

Hi Andrew, I have to digest your entry before responding fully. But I do want to thank you and congratulate you on accumulating such wisdom and confidence so early in life. It makes me happy to see that. I listened to Les Brown yesterday and one of his messages is that as you rise in life not everyone is going to be happy for you and some are going to try to pull you down (maybe for good motives.) So if someone gives you a rough time here try to take it w/ a grain of salt.
The other thing I will say in public is that your enthusiasm is contagious. I was lukewarm at best on the effectiveness of NLP. It seemed like vodoo/hypnotism tripe. B/c of you I'm at least opening myself to the possibility of re-assesing its value (for me.)
Thanks again, Greg[

 

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[Scott0268]

Thank you for taking the time to write this post. Very motivating!!!

 

[Wolfman]

Hi Andrew, I have to digest your entry before responding fully. But I do want to thank you and congratulate you on accumulating such wisdom and confidence so early in life. It makes me happy to see that. I listened to Les Brown yesterday and one of his messages is that as you rise in life not everyone is going to be happy for you and some are going to try to pull you down (maybe for good motives.) So if someone gives you a rough time here try to take it w/ a grain of salt.
The other thing I will say in public is that your enthusiasm is contagious. I was lukewarm at best on the effectiveness of NLP. It seemed like vodoo/hypnotism tripe. B/c of you I'm at least opening myself to the possibility of re-assesing its value (for me.)
Thanks again, Greg[

Hi Andrew, How are you? I haven't been following the Forum for a while and now I'm getting back in the groove. I have been doing some reading on NLP and watched some videos. I'm still ambivalent about it even though I understand it much better.
One of my problems is that when they show these drastic instantaneous turn-arounds, there is no way of knowing if there is any lasting benefit. It seems to me lots of the "guinea pigs" are responding to the power of suggestion and the expectations they feel from the trainer and audience. In other words, the trainer has a ton of energy/charisma so his power of suggestion is tremendous in the moment--but only in the moment.
The other issue is whether NLP works only if you believe 100% that it is going to. In case you haven't noticed I'm skeptical, so isn't it unlikely that I'll benefit? But then again, there are benefits that I think are proveable. I think we can become better at controlling our emotions, motivation, enthusiasm, discipline by using NLP techniques.
I'll give you a great example from this week Andrew. I had an "expression/tape" that I'd run in my head when I was feeling lousy and stuck in the past, "we all have our demons." While journalling, after doing some NLP reading, I realized that that tape is not helpful, might not be true at all, and can be re-formed to be beneficial.
So I made myself recall the ton of friends/lovers/family that have loved and cared for me throughout my life. Then in my mind I pictured this group on a beach with me. I was going to call them my angels instead of my demons. The problem with that is that lots of them aren't angels. lol So instead of calling them Hell's Angels (they're not that naughty), I call them Heck's Angels.
Long story short, when I'm feeling crummy instead of making an excuse about all of us having demons, I picture Heck's Angels on the beach with me, kind of like a fun but protecting army. Is this NLP?
Anyhow, you can see I'm still wrestling w/ this.
Be well, Greg

 

[AndrewNC]

works only if you believe 100% that it is going to

Drill deeper than the surface-level example of NLP.

Think in terms of entrepreneurship in general.

If a person doesn't believe that they can achieve success in business, they most likely won't even try. They will look for things that don't work right now.

"Oh, I made 5 cold calls to businesses asking them to give me $5,000 to setup a wordpress website." I tried it a few times and it doesn't work.

Entrepreneurship doesn't work.

The reason why I feel that The Millionaire Fastlane resonated better with me than Rich Dad Poor Dad is because of the journey MJ went through being described in the way he did. "If he could do it, maybe it's possible for me." It tore a slight hold in the fabric of reality, and I saw a small light shining through.

I didn't believe 100% that I could have success in business, but a small light was there.

The word that comes to mind is a true sense of curiosity.

A non-curious person who is skeptical about this 'some guy who wrote a book and is on the internet told me I could build a business', and discount it - going back to their old ways.

I was curious. Six months after reading the book, I drove 2,000 miles across the country to Scottsdale, Arizona to make it work.

That was March 2012 when I had almost no money, rock bottom in life, and never knew what entrepreneurship was. Living at my parents at the age of 25. But it was that curiosity of 'I don't 100% believe entrepreneurship will work for me, but I see that small beam of light shining through the fabric of my old reality.." So I made the leap and did it anyway.

Six years later, I built a business that has impacted over 1.3 million people, and spent 3 years of traveling across the U.S. and Europe while living off of passive income; now planting my roots in place for building a larger business with 100% full confidence in my self, abilities, and daily habits to succeed.

It was that curiosity which allowed me to experiment and open my mind to new possibilities.

Is this NLP?

My response is, does it matter?

The questions I always ask myself is:

1. What is my specific, desired outcome.
2. Is what I'm doing now effective for achieving that?

A few months ago, I was experiencing jealousy in terms of one girl I was attracted to. I used one of the techniques I have to release the emotion from my body, and last night I was hanging out with the guy she was seeing (instead of me), and I had zero jealousy whatsoever. The whole problem was fixed in 20 minutes using the tools I have.

So I believe it works.

Years ago, I was born in that 'it has to be proven by science before I can believe it' mindset. Now, I realize that those types of things jut slow me down.

1. What is your desired outcome?
2. Run full speed ahead trying and failing with different things, adjusting as you go until you get there.

That's how I view things at least.

 

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[Wolfman]

Drill deeper than the surface-level example of NLP.

Think in terms of entrepreneurship in general.

If a person doesn't believe that they can achieve success in business, they most likely won't even try. They will look for things that don't work right now.

"Oh, I made 5 cold calls to businesses asking them to give me $5,000 to setup a wordpress website." I tried it a few times and it doesn't work.

Entrepreneurship doesn't work.

The reason why I feel that The Millionaire Fastlane resonated better with me than Rich Dad Poor Dad is because of the journey MJ went through being described in the way he did. "If he could do it, maybe it's possible for me." It tore a slight hold in the fabric of reality, and I saw a small light shining through.

I didn't believe 100% that I could have success in business, but a small light was there.

The word that comes to mind is a true sense of curiosity.

A non-curious person who is skeptical about this 'some guy who wrote a book and is on the internet told me I could build a business', and discount it - going back to their old ways.

I was curious. Six months after reading the book, I drove 2,000 miles across the country to Scottsdale, Arizona to make it work.

That was March 2012 when I had almost no money, rock bottom in life, and never knew what entrepreneurship was. Living at my parents at the age of 25. But it was that curiosity of 'I don't 100% believe entrepreneurship will work for me, but I see that small beam of light shining through the fabric of my old reality.." So I made the leap and did it anyway.

Six years later, I built a business that has impacted over 1.3 million people, and spent 3 years of traveling across the U.S. and Europe while living off of passive income; now planting my roots in place for building a larger business with 100% full confidence in my self, abilities, and daily habits to succeed.

It was that curiosity which allowed me to experiment and open my mind to new possibilities.



My response is, does it matter?

The questions I always ask myself is:

1. What is my specific, desired outcome.
2. Is what I'm doing now effective for achieving that?

A few months ago, I was experiencing jealousy in terms of one girl I was attracted to. I used one of the techniques I have to release the emotion from my body, and last night I was hanging out with the guy she was seeing (instead of me), and I had zero jealousy whatsoever. The whole problem was fixed in 20 minutes using the tools I have.

So I believe it works.

Years ago, I was born in that 'it has to be proven by science before I can believe it' mindset. Now, I realize that those types of things jut slow me down.

1. What is your desired outcome?
2. Run full speed ahead trying and failing with different things, adjusting as you go until you get there.

That's how I view things at least.

Hi Andrew, That was a classic response (the first one) about "curiosity". That is an exceptionally strong tool. So it doesn't matter that I'm not 100% on the NLP bandwagon, the idea to focus on is curiousity about why/how people like you and others have used it successfully. I suppose that is why I'm continuing this dialogue...I'm curious.
Another great point you made certainly describes my generation, if it's not scientifically provable, it's not true. That assumption is proven to be wrong on many plains.
For example, non-scientifically tested Eastern healing techniques certainly work for many.
Also the thing called the "placebo effect", actually exists. So, Andrew, I'm going to be even more curious and I'm going to try to silence that science-voice periodically.
Thanks for sharing a few beauties there, Greg

 

[AndrewNC]

Hi Andrew, That was a classic response (the first one) about "curiosity". That is an exceptionally strong tool. So it doesn't matter that I'm not 100% on the NLP bandwagon, the idea to focus on is curiousity about why/how people like you and others have used it successfully. I suppose that is why I'm continuing this dialogue...I'm curious.
Another great point you made certainly describes my generation, if it's not scientifically provable, it's not true. That assumption is proven to be wrong on many plains.
For example, non-scientifically tested Eastern healing techniques certainly work for many.
Also the thing called the "placebo effect", actually exists. So, Andrew, I'm going to be even more curious and I'm going to try to silence that science-voice periodically.
Thanks for sharing a few beauties there, Greg

Hey Greg,

You've inspired me to continue posting different insights on this thread.

My writing may be long, but I'll do my best to keep it to the point for specific actionable steps that could resonate with you (and the others) who read it.

 

[AndrewNC]

What It Takes to Produce (Actual) Motivation​

First off, let's start with what it doesn't take.

A few weeks ago, this guy spammed this forum with 'motivational videos' from his YouTube channel.

It had inspirational music, motivational quotes, and video scenes of people succeeding in fitness, football players crawling through the mud during training, pushing their bodies to the limit.

Holy shit, I felt motivated.

I was inspired to do that too.

After 5 minutes, the emotions drained out of my body and went away.

Our bodies go after immediate pleasure (good emotions) and away from immediate pain.

What felt good?

Watching more motivational videos.

This built a habit of being addicted to feel-good emotions from...sitting on my computer and mindlessly consuming content. The habit of feeling motivated and feeling inspired was built.

The habit of sitting on my computer and watching videos.

The same is true with books.

You read them, you feel intellectually stimulated, so you read more.

In the beginning of your motivational journey, you go towards the things that feel good now, and you go away from the things that don't feel good now. It's all about the emotions you feel in the present moment.

The original post of this thread is a psychology technique to fill the bad habits with immediate pain.

This way, your body behaves in a way where you are emotionally turned off from bad habits.

The reason why this works is because we are tapping into our existing motivational drivers that are pre-programmed to keep us alive.

• The caveman puts his hand in the fire, he immediately is motivated to pull it away.
• The caveman is starving from hunger (pain) in the wilderness, and he sees a tree of apples, he immediately is motivated to move towards it and eat the food.

Logical thinking about the future has no power over what you move towards (feel) now.

Take unprotected sex for example.

A very attractive man and a very attractive women are laying in bed. They are turned on and ready to go. The emotions are built so much...but the don't have protection.

STDs?
Unplanned Pregnancy?

Fu*k it. They do what feels good now.

They are strangers who have no emotional connection together, and now they have a baby that they will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 18+ years raising together.

Even if the thought of all this goes through their mind beforehand...

The sexual desire and emotions overpower 100% of that logic, flood it out and have no power over it.

Fuc*k it. Let's do what feels good now.

You make the same decisions in your life.

Perhaps it's not with that, but with the fast food burger, with the motivational video. With anything that takes you away from what you need to be doing.

Anybody who read Cashvertising and the life force 8 can compare 3 of the drivers to what I talked about so far.

• This is why sex sells (pre-programmed to keep human species alive - emotional driver).
• Enjoyment from Food and beverage (life force motivator - apple in wilderness to provide immediate pleasure to release hunger).
• We move away from immediate pain (hand pulling away from the fire example).

We are pre-programmed to have these emotional drivers that are designed to keep the human species alive.

It's instinctual, automatic, and this is real life motivation (at a micro-level)​

This is why motivational videos are a feel-good TRAP.

When you want to learn how to be motivated, drill deeper down to the emotions.

Reflecting on yourself.

You're reading this. You have these doubts. You fear failure. You don't think you have what it takes. You want safety and security (in your actions). And you immediately default to the distractions that feel good and take you away from the work you do. You read lots of books, you browse these forums, and you consume a lot of academic information, yet you aren't consistently taking action. You see these other people who make it look easy, they are making money, traveling the world; and they might have something you don't. It's not working out for you. You're not doing it. Your friends and family say you should go to school, get a job, and live a safe secure life. You take some action here and there but you give up and get discouraged when it doesn't pan out right away. You want that immediate win. You hear people like MJ, Gary Vee, and all those others talk about persistence and how you have to go through the process. You brain heres it, but you're actions and your body don't (think the unprotected sex analogy). You need to take action or else you'll go broke! If you take action you'll live in Tai's mansion with his lamborghinis! Awesome! I'm going to watch YouTube and play video games now.

The advice you receive does not go to the part of your body that is responsible for behavior.​

When push comes to shove, behind the scenes of all the problems you face, there is an underlying psychology, biology, and existing emotional drivers that are responsible for your action.

The examples listed above might not be problems you face.

They were the problems I faced. They are common problems many entrepreneurs face.

I used to think that getting the physical results would fix my mindset, would improve my motivation. That finding the right business idea, the right marketing system, the right sales strategy would improve all of that. I used to think that when I hit $10,000 per month with my first business - I would finally have what it takes.

In June 2014, I hit my first 5-figure per month with my business.

Quit my job.

And then the motivation went away.

I had no reason to push, no reason to grow. I was feeling immediate pleasure of traveling and living off of passive income.

Despite building my first business, the motivation still wasn't there.

It was a forceful struggle that only happened because of external motivators (from mentors and accountability group). When they went away, so went the forceful actions I was taking.

Why self-help doesn't lead to motivation.

So I turned to all the self-help you could ever imagine. Someone once told me he wanted to read The Power of Now to improve his mindset I gagged and almost threw up in my mouth. Yes, modern day self help will help provide you a positive outlook on life.

You'll feel better, have a good mental attitude.

But this can get addicting, and when you get addicted to the positive feel-good emotions modern day self-help gives you....

Why go through the pain of hustle?

Why face the struggle of rejection and failure?

You're feeling good now.

But you're not taking action.

Doing it on my own didn't work. Having an external accountability group didn't work when they went away. Following Gary Vee helped a little bit from hammering away at the 'hustle', but it didn't get me to the point I wanted.

That internal point of long term lasting self motivation....none of that got me there.

Finding the solution (4 years in the making).

So after self-help failed me, I turned to psychology.

I made it my intent to deconstruct motivation down to a science. A mental programming that can be rapidly installed on others.

To be honest, I'm not the first one to do this before.

I've had mentors over the past 4 years who are doctors, psychologists, hypnotists, and people who consulted for government agencies when it comes to influencing and transforming human behavior. The information is out there, but it took me years to learn.

With scattered information all around there for this...

It took me four years to not only learn.

But to fully embody within myself.

And it worked...

The other day I was on day 13 of a 30 day free trial at the gym. The girl who works there was literally blown away that I was there every single day since my free trial began. She was dumbfounded and stunned.

I used to sleep in until 3. I used to procrastinate. I used to put things off until last minute until it was already too late...I went through all the lack of belief in myself and the addicting traps of the first 2 years of 'being in entrepreneurship'.

I built my first business, and the motivation problem still wasn't solved.

But then I started using what I talk about here on myself, and found myself on the other side of the fence.

A normal day for me right now is waking up at 6:30 in the morning, and first thing I do is open my laptop and write some content for my brand. I reach out and follow up with leads for clients, schedule sales calls, speak with mentors to grow my business to the next level, hit up the gym for 60-80 minutes, get some client work done, go out with friends at night for 3 hours, and when I wake up the next morning, I do it again.

A way to be motivated, have a positive outlook on life, and have a well-balanced life.

I have the confidence in my future despite how much adversity I face.

I could be at a rock bottom in my life, everything I own on the street in the middle of a foreign country, with $0 in my bank account and my friends and parents screaming at me that this entrepreneurship thing 'isn't working out'.


In that moment when it all happened, I still have the confidence, motivation, determination and drive to do what it takes.

I could have a $4,500 sales day and not get complacent. You know that feeling, after things take off "Oh, things are going great. It's time to sit back and relax and celebrate." You fall off the bandwagon, the momentum goes away, and the motivation is gone.



When I was living with a girl I met on Tinder in the foreign country for a week, I was more motivated than the days after I made the $2,000 and $4,500 sales for my business.

So that belief that it's easy to be motivated when I start seeing results on the outside had flaws in it...

Motivation has nothing to do with what you do or don't have outside of you. It has everything to do with what you do now.
​

And how to do it regardless of uncertainty, fear, failure, results (or lack there of), or success.

Despite how bad things are on the outside, it doesn't matter.

Despite what you have or haven't accomplished before...it doesn't matter.

Despite whatever past you come from or failures/emotional trauma you faced...it doesn't matter.

All that can be worked out, because motivation is something built behind the scenes of where you are looking for it now.

You can have the positive outlook, the determination and the motivation and have what it takes.

While you still need to learn the practical skills of business:

• How to select a product or service to sell.
• How to create a sales system that converts at a high rate.
• How to create a marketing system to bring in leads.
• How to have great customer support to keep customers happy and around.

And all that stuff.

In addition to learning all of that stuff...

None of that will do you any good if you're not motivated and actually doing what it takes...

The first post on this thread is one psychology tool (of many) I use to overcome bad habits and increase motivation.

I'll continue the rest of this thread talking about other things I've used as I went along to make that transition from where I was (stuck and not taking action) to the level of long-term internal consistent motivation I have today.

I'll write up another post shortly, but in the meantime, the main premise is that the things you go looking for outside of you don't lead to motivation.

It's about making some fine-tuned adjustments on the inside.

This is what it takes to get Self-Motivation
(I'll talk more about this in my next post)​

If you're struggling to be motivated and have a positive mindset in life subscribe to this thread, because this will show you what it takes.

 

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[ButGregSaid]

• I want the muscles -> I want to do 50 pushups every morning when I get out of bed.

• I want to be a published author -> I want to write this chapter of my book on meditation.

• I want to meet my dream cavewoman -> I want to go to the local watering hole and talk to different interesting people.

This literally transformed my thinking... we all need to do this. It's the best way to change we view our actions. Goals should not be 'events' but rather, the 'process'. Thank you!

 

[ButGregSaid]

Finding the solution (4 years in the making).

Very eager to learn what your solution was and how you channeled motivation into a more sustainable force. Subscribed!

 

[AndrewNC]

I had two Skype calls with members from this forum today.

On one of them (leaving out which one and details for privacy), he wasn't moving forward with his business because a fear of failure.

What many of already know is that there are three parts to the human mind:

1. The conscious mind (normal thinking)
2. The unconscious mind
3. Higher Self

The Unconscious Mind is the part of the bind that is responsible for human behavior. It has a mission to preserve our body and keep us safe. For example, in the analogy I use a lot, a caveman puts his hand in a hot fire, and his unconscious instinctually pulls it away.

• The Unconscious Mind is not simply your thoughts, it also is the realm of your emotions.
• The Unconscious Mind stores thoughts, memories, and perceptions in Pictures and Symbols.

In order to access the unconscious realm, you have to tune into your inner visuals.

What I had him do first was bring up a picture in his mind, seeing himself in the picture of what his worst case scenario would be if he moves forward with his business and fails.

Don't sugar coat it, don't suppress anything, and don't be reasonable.

The worst of the worst.

In his instance, he sees himself in the picture homeless, living on the street; with his friends and his family no longer loving him.

This chart is my Photoshop (MS Paint) translation of the Neurological Levels of NLP.



At the very top is our sense of identity.

Your behaviors and actions automatically align with how you (unconsciously) identify yourself. A lot of times, people suppress the parts of themselves that they want to hide.

• I am a lazy person.
• I am broke.
• I am struggling.
• I am a loser.
• I am not good enough.
• I don't have what it takes.

I used to never identify myself as being an attractive person. Stemming from being picked on in school, and other stuff like that; I had that unconscious identity that stemmed from my younger years. I worked out, I dressed well, and went out to improve my social skills, but deep down, I had that identity of 'not being worthy'.

Whenever I was about to get in a relationship or was out on a date with a girl that was 'out of my league', I would automatically behave in ways that sabotaged my success.

I didn't try to fu*k things up, I just did; most of the time not knowing about it.

This is because deep down I was suppressing that identity and hating that part of myself. Because it was still buried away down there, my actions (at the surface) acted congruent with it. The reason you act a certain way (one of the reasons why) is because of those hidden identities that trigger certain behaviors.

So on the call I had today, his worst fear was:

"Seeing himself in the picture homeless, living on the street; with his friends and his family no longer loving him."

What part of this triggers the fear?

While most people at face value would think the fear is being homeless, that's actually not the case.

The first stage of the fear was his friends and family no longer loving him.

But we can't control what happens outside of us, we can only shift what happens internally.

"What does it mean about you if your friends and family no longer love you?"

This "What does it mean about you" is what leads us in the direction of the negative identity label. We are always looking for some "I am ______" statement, as described above in the examples.

It all boils down to self-judgement.

• I am not worthy of love.
• I am not good enough.

Both of those answers came up when he looked up at the visual.

Deep, deep down, the self-judgement about who you are is what triggers the pain. In that small, postcard-sized picture, he saw himself not being worthy (of love) and not being good enough.

How this leads to lack of motivation...

The part of his mind responsible for his behavior (the unconscious mind) makes a split-second decision that leads to the following conclusion:

"If I take this one small action of (whatever - buying domain name, emailing someone, cold calling someone), this will mean that I will end up homeless on the street and it will prove that I am not worthy of love and it will prove that I am not good enough."

It makes zero logical sense, but the part of your brain that is responsible for your behavior equates something as simple as emailing a manufacturer on alibaba for an estimate with the very thing that will bring up all that shit about who you think you are deep down.

In order to avoid facing this harsh reality that you're not worthy of love and you're not good enough; you don't take the action.

You suppress those parts of you deep down in your unconscious, out of sight, unable to be felt.

And when we drill VERY VERY deep like that, that right there is the root cause that leads to a lack of motivation.

I call it the two-roads theory.

On one hand, I can take this action and succeed...but on the other, I can walk down the path and all that shit will come up and prove to me that I was who I thought I was (in the negative self-judgement sense).

So this is one reason why you stand frozen in place.

So what's the solution?

It's actually very simple.

The very first step for him was to bring up the small picture, seeing himself in the picture as someone who is not good enough (did this one first), and rate the emotion in intensity on a scale of 1-10. It was an 8.

Then, we used a rapid emotional release technique that I made a video on here. And the workbook I give out to clients is in the thumbnail below (you might be able to expand it by clicking on it).



By doing 3-4 minutes of the rapid emotional release technique on the phrase that came up for his self-judgement identity of "I am not good enough", it released the fear from his unconscious.

We replicated the process for he second self-judgement identity that came up "I am not worthy of love".

And at the end of this, the fear was gone - and he was left in a position with his business where he had zero emotional blockages from stepping forward.

We then spent about 40 minutes cleaning up ALL of the things going on in the realm of this to get him to that 100% point...but for the basics, the fear of failure really stems about 'proving that I am _______(the negative self-judgement identity) if I move forward and take action on my business.'

This article is for informational purposes only. Before working on this with him, he is overall a stable person (mentally and emotionally). Some things we should not get rid of and sometimes we hold things like this in place because it serves a positive intent that we should not remove. Do not try this unless you're working with a trained professional.

When people talk about fear of failure, this is really it.

In reality, the actual fear is not what it appears to be at the surface (rejection/failure). It's the emotions that are attached to the thought and the self-judgement about who you are (if you fail).

Very eager to learn what your solution was and how you channeled motivation into a more sustainable force. Subscribed!

Thanks Greg!

There are many parts to it, but this is one of the big ones. Going in and cleaning up a lot of this type of stuff is what released a lot of the self-judgement. By doing this enough, it got me in the emotionally balanced place where I had an 'open vessel' to fill with the motivation I have today.

• In dating, I can have a conversation with the most attractive women without being nervous (like I used to be)
• In fitness, I'm the guy with two 25's on the bench press struggling to get up my last rep - without caring what other people think about me with the light weights.
• In business, I don't mind getting on a sales call and facing someone telling me no (or saying something worse).

I can do all those things with ease, because that deeply-rooted hidden identity has no emotional charge to it (it doesn't exist), and I no longer fear facing who I am when I get to the other side of those actions (success or failure).

I'm 100% there with business and fitness/health, and still have a few more things to work through in terms of dating - but it'll take a few hours to work through that.

I'll type out the various nuances and other elements of overall motivation as a whole in this thread as I go forward with doing things on myself, on friends/clients, etc. - but releasing the self-judgement about fears was a good first step (unless avoidance of the fear/self-judgement is the only thing that keeps us motivated).

 

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[Wolfman]

I call it the two-roads theory.

On one hand, I can take this action and succeed...but on the other, I can walk down the path and all that sh*t will come up and prove to me that I was who I thought I was (in the negative self-judgement sense).

So this is one reason why you stand frozen in place

Hi Andrew, As usual, this is good stuff that hits home. This conundrum has frequently led me to write-off my inaction by saying to myself, "I'm just lazy."
And logically that is a lie because when I really want something I'm far from lazy. It's like you said, there is something unconscious going on--and that is one formidable force. It can slap me around like a little girl.
So is NLP a solution (it is probably not the only one)? Here's the real problem for me: a key ingredient in NLP is belief that it will, or at least can, work. But, bing bang boom, I am kicked write back into the jungle of the unconscious world where I'm busy running away from invisible snakes and spiders. (sorry for all the dumb metaphors)
So, my sneaky unconscious says, Greg, it's easier to write off NLP and avoid all of that potential pain you talked about.
Where does that leave me...stuck. That gets back to something we "talked" about, doing tiny bites. I did the exercise you suggested of writing down the horrifying potential place not changing could cause. And it worked, but only for about a week. I've tried re-reading it to evoke those same distressing emotions but it's lost most of its potency.
What do you suggest Andrew? I'm not making fun of NLP but I'm not going to slap myself while thinking good thoughts and dance around while thinking good thoughts. (Did you notice something wild just happened. I re-read the previous sentence and I typed "good" where I should(?) have typed "bad". Hmmmmm, is this an NLP moment?
Thanks, Greg W.

 

[Wolfman]

What I had him do first was bring up a picture in his mind, seeing himself in the picture of what his worst case scenario would be if he moves forward with his business and fails.

Don't sugar coat it, don't suppress anything, and don't be reasonable.

The worst of the worst.

In his instance, he sees himself in the picture homeless, living on the street; with his friends and his family no longer loving him.

I can relate to this technique b/c I fancy myself a logical person. You boil the reality down to the worst case scenario. You can then test reality. How likely is that to happen? You'd probably only have a lousy home and fewer friends, etc.
Then you try to to see what emotions that scenario kicks up. So far so good. But then you try to "dig deep" into your past history. That's where I would probably run into a wall because for some reason I can't access those memories/emotions. I've watched NLP demonstrations and this is where you (the practitioner) often fall flat and the anchor doesn't hold.
Andrew, I'll give you a hypothetical b/c I'm not being very clear. Let's say my crippling emotion is fear of failure. We evoke that sensation and search for it's root. Maybe it's the first 5 times I tried to walk as a baby, maybe it's when I failed a test in 1st grade, maybe it's when I got rejected by my 2d-grade crush (Kim, true story)...etc. The bottom line is I don't know where that bad belief came from.
Now the practitioner has nothing specific to anchor the negative emotion to. What then?
Thanks, Greg W.

 

[AndrewNC]

I can relate to this technique b/c I fancy myself a logical person. You boil the reality down to the worst case scenario. You can then test reality. How likely is that to happen? You'd probably only have a lousy home and fewer friends, etc.
Then you try to to see what emotions that scenario kicks up. So far so good. But then you try to "dig deep" into your past history. That's where I would probably run into a wall because for some reason I can't access those memories/emotions. I've watched NLP demonstrations and this is where you (the practitioner) often fall flat and the anchor doesn't hold.
Andrew, I'll give you a hypothetical b/c I'm not being very clear. Let's say my crippling emotion is fear of failure. We evoke that sensation and search for it's root. Maybe it's the first 5 times I tried to walk as a baby, maybe it's when I failed a test in 1st grade, maybe it's when I got rejected by my 2d-grade crush (Kim, true story)...etc. The bottom line is I don't know where that bad belief came from.
Now the practitioner has nothing specific to anchor the negative emotion to. What then?
Thanks, Greg W.

Hey Greg,

To answer quickly, there is a technique that is used to access past root causes of emotions.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nne-jTZU1Y0


I learned this originally from the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0916990214/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

While you can't consciously think of many of these past things, your unconscious mind keeps a perfect memory of everything that has ever happened to us.

To address a lot of what you said: The learning of NLP is a series of tools that individually have small levels of effectiveness, but when placed together with the write 'art' behind it; are more effective when used on a regular basis. It took me 4 years of working with hundreds of clients (And on myself) to reach this higher level of proficiency.

But what I noticed in my life is that by combining the tools together (shifting my identity, shifting behaviors, beliefs, environment, etc.) - mixed with the actions taken in the real world - that is when it locks the changes in place the most. Functioning in the inner realm 100% is not effective.

My own personal process:

1. Do the shifts on myself one day.
2. Sleep on it overnight, and let the changes sink in.
3. On my actin-items the next day, go out and do it.

There's a lot of nuances to it and in order to attain a true mastery of the skill, it will take years of learning, trying, and failing, and learning again - and it's something you'll have to commit to.

Just like anything else in life.

 

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[Jade.backer]

yes, the truth is always painful. I really needed to know that. thanks

 

[GMSI7D]

yes, the truth is always painful. I really needed to know that. thanks

the truth is that a lot of people here think they want to be rich with the beach mansion

but they just want a life of meanings, away from slavery

what you own owns you as well

the rich lifestyle owns you : stress and so on


here is a hint

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPGC5jD-EIY

 

[Vigilante]

My bad, I guess Tony is copying you then. Here is a random clip on youtube that he must have used this post as an outline (and then took a time machine to 1991 to write Awaken the Giant Within).

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrxMk7_YRs4

1.) Pain vs Pleasure and Leverage (4:00)
2.) Christmas Carol/Dickens Process (5:57)
3.) Smoking Past/Present (6:48)
4.) Relationships Past/Present (7:30)

::cue crickets::

 

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[Nanoh Axor]

An excellent article. Thanks !

 

[AllenCrawley]

My bad, I guess Tony is copying you then. Here is a random clip on youtube that he must have used this post as an outline (and then took a time machine to 1991 to write Awaken the Giant Within).

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrxMk7_YRs4

1.) Pain vs Pleasure and Leverage (4:00)
2.) Christmas Carol/Dickens Process (5:57)
3.) Smoking Past/Present (6:48)
4.) Relationships Past/Present (7:30)

@AndrewNC could you please address the issues @Milkanic pointed out in his post?










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