If you could only pass on one life lesson to everyone on this forum, what would it be?

[vshetty.vs]

Not wanting to do something is not a valid excuse

 

[Davesells]

Never take financial advice from someone who is more broke than you!

When it comes to financial advice I like to get it from someone that has a proven track record because if someone knew how to make a million dollars they most likely would be making a million dollars not just giving advice on how to do it.

 

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[Jon Anthony]

What you will learn in 15 years could be learnt in 6 months if you have a guide/mentor to show you the way.

Came here to say this. Having mentors is so F*cking critical.

All of the major leaps in my financial success, health success, and relationships success, have been because I found mentors, and avidly applied what I learned from them.

Mentors will literally 10x your results in 1/2 the time.

 

[TonyStark]

Go to work.

Learn to make money for yourself.

School won’t teach you financial skills.

 

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[luniac]

Empty your mind.

 

[ExaltedLife]

Change the "Home" page of your preferred internet browser to www.thefastlaneforum.com so that threads like these become your default reading material.

 

[Bryaninbangkok]

Practice gratitude daily, remember the past when money was tight

 

[OlivierMo]

Never stop learning.

Whether it's reading books or doing new things or asking smart people questions etc. Never have an idle mind. My life has changed a ton in the past couple years just by trying to learn things on my own and not relying on schooling.

So true. Always keep learning. Acquire new skills whether they make $$$ or not. Expand your horizons.

 

[Florre 77]

Treat people how you want to be treated.

Treat people as they would like to be treated

 

[Joaquim]

Focus more on things that change very, very slowly or not at all.

 

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[BaraQueenbee]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

Thank you for openly sharing your vulnerable experience and lessons.
Did you happen to come across the Machick's Complete Explanation method? I got that feeling a bit from reading it.
Which is an amazing method and I hope many would know about it!

As to what my lesson would be:
If you feel fear, that's ok.
Be afraid and take action anyway.

Great thread, thank you!

 

[Rockstar]

Learn! There is way to do everything you want. If you have some skills making money becomes easy. Everything is easy if you know how to do it

 

[meridian_blue]

There was one realization I made when I was in college that made me rethink my behaviors, my habits, and my self-image. And that is that realization that who we are is solely defined by what we do. That means our personality isn't static, and who we are can change if we change our habits.

That also means we need to redefine how we describe ourselves and others. For example that means that...

A generous person = a person who frequently gives

A smart person = a person who frequently engages in thoughtful pursuits

A sociable person = a person who frequently strikes up new conversations

A creative person = a person who frequently engages in creative pursuits

The beauty of this truth is that it eliminates many of the self-destructive thoughts we hold about ourselves. If you feel that you are lacking in some aspect, change it! Wish you were more sociable? Go out of your comfort zone and strike up new conversation. Wish you were smarter? Read and write and think about difficult problems. Do this repeatedly and you will change the nature of who you are. Who we are is simply a collection of our personal traits, and traits are simply that what we repeatedly do. If you wish you were somehow different than the person you are today , there's nothing stopping you from cultivating the traits that you seek. Sure it may be harder for some than for others to change deeply embedded habits, but there is nothing inherent about you that prevents you from becoming the person you want to be.

The flip-side of this is equally true - and the reason I think few people want to come to grips with this truth. If you never give to others, don't call yourself generous. If you've never started a business, don't call yourself an entrepreneur. It's often much easier to dismiss our shortcomings as biological than face the reality that we responsible for who we are, and the work we need to do to change ourselves.

 

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[Hijena1]

Tomorrow never comes.

PS. How do you meditate?

 

[Zcott]

It's easy to forget that other people are only human.

 

[WinYourself]

It's more important what you do, then how often or how well you do it.

Choose the game you play carefully.

 

[George Costanza]

"Just do it" Is unironically a great advice (MJ also writes about this in the chapter where he takes a jab at books like Think And Grow Rich)

 

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[abrakamowse]

Keep trying!

 

[EnvisionEd]

"Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75." - Benjamin Franklin

Your most precious resource is time. Cherish every second that passes, make it a priority to do the things that matter to you, and constantly seek progress in all aspects of your life.

(and bookmark this thread. As @Prakhar Verma said, life lessons have a different impact on you depending on where you are on your life journey.)

I was hoping to see someone put something like this. My advice is similar to yours: Enjoy the Ride. Put another way, be in the moment. All you have is the present moment, so be in it with people, with your work and your play. Mindfulness is a great thing.

 

[Guest64655]

LOVE.

Funny, nobody talked about it! No one. Hahaha

Love is simple but probably the most difficult thing to do properly. Because to love is to practice loving and to love the unlovable.

Why Love is important?! I let you guess.

Oh, thanks Mr.C for the thread and what you said. 21 and so much knowledge/wisdom, wow!

 

[John Clancy]

Thank you for openly sharing your vulnerable experience and lessons.
Did you happen to come across the Machick's Complete Explanation method? I got that feeling a bit from reading it.
Which is an amazing method and I hope many would know about it!

As to what my lesson would be:
If you feel fear, that's ok.
Be afraid and take action anyway.

Great thread, thank you!

I haven't come across that method before, but thanks for mentioning it - hopefully it'll be of benefit to others who come across this thread in the future.

Thanks to all for their contributions so far - some very valuable wisdom being shared!

 

[WealthyMarketer]

Read UNSCRIPTED

 

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[redplant]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

I can relate to this. I used to fall prey to my obsessive thoughts and the compulsions to stop them -- usually by doing some inane rituals. You could say I have a bit of an OCD, but I've not been clinically diagnosed.

Anyway, the best thing is really to recognize that these thoughts and emotions don't define you. You always have a choice whether to act on them or not. I think, at this point, this is also the one lesson that I'd tell everyone here in the forum.

The good thing about this lesson is it allows you to have tremendous control over your influences. By recognizing that your some of your thoughts are not real, you can easily choose to let them go, not act on them.

Of course, I still struggle with this sometimes, especially with my fears, but it's easier to wait for the storm to pass when you know it eventually would.

 

[ds_groundupbiz]

Failure is paramount to success! You cannot truly experience and appreciate success until you have failed (totally my opinion). Some try to avoid failure and believe this is the way to go. I would pass on the lesson to seek ways in which you can fail, so that you may know what does not work & also what else to try in order to get different results.

 

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[WJK]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

It doesn't matter how much money you make... what really counts is how much you have left over each Friday night after you pay all your bills and settle your debts... and the next step is how you wisely invest that left-over money. Financial success is a long-view quest.

 

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[aaronteagles]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

"You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own. "
Very well said! I've come to the same conclusion after practicing meditation for several month with Sam Harris's Waking Up course, which, by the way, I cannot recommend enough.

 

[WillHurtDontCare]

if you don't push yourself in physical training then you're an idiot.

 

[farmer79]

I don’t know how applicable to people here but the advice I repeat to my kids the most often

1. To get better do whatever “it” is every day.

2. Do not spend any time,energy, or effort trying to get things for free.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

So, if I delete my account how do I get to know what's happening out there huh?

Why do you need to know "what's happening out there?"

I view my ignorance of "what's happening out there" as an asset, not a liability. Most of it is a subconscious brainwashing operation of some sort, whether you're watching the corporate media, or Netflix.

 

[CalinPop]

I had tried to meditate so many times. And my brain goes something like I try to hold a big live fish in my hands, thanks all for the advice I will read Sam Harris page and also The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle recommended here
Thanks