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I just want to write down some thought in order to get clarity. I hope that this post will reach the right people
I have been an avid listener to Goggins and a vehement defender of this "grindset" mentality for the lack of a better term. What I mean by the grindset mentality sums up to:
- Achieving anything worth while in life is this MASSIVE challenge that you need to pour all of your willpower in and suffer for.
- You ultimately desire to just sit on a a couch and do nothing. You need to go to war with this "real you" in order to achieve your goals.
- You're just a bitch that doesn't want to do hard work if you cannot get yourself to stop doing bad things.
- You must fuel yourself with future dreams of "everything will be better when you achieve X and Y" aka living in the Dream World
I now adopted the OPPOSITE mindset. That achieving goals that are worth it is fundamentally EASY, it just takes a lot of time and patience.
Hear me out before saying anything.
Why is this mindset bad?
I started to doubt myself when I read forum reviews on Goggin's book. I've read both of his books multiple times, I've seen all of the podcasts that he is on, a good chuck his instagram reels etc. so don't tell me I "misunderstand him". It took me a long time though to see that how unfruitful this mindset was for my life.
Meanwhile I've read another book called "The Easy Peasy Method" which I absolutely loved and recommend. TLDR the book is about quitting porn addiction in a totally foreign way by flipping your brain to dislike doing bad things and to like good things. It is a book that INSISTS that you do NOT see quitting as "hard", you do NOT see yourself as having to "go to war with yourself", as "suffering" in order to grow. In fact it makes you see how EASY it is to quit and how HARD it is actually to keep being addicted.
Why am I bringing this up? Because after reading that book I've never watched porn ever again although I was struggling for years with the grindset way of thinking.
Why did I struggle in the first place? Well, the answer is obvious. Because YOU CANNOT WIN in this grindset mentality. The best thing that you can FEEL at the end of the day is RELIEF. You feel relief that you didn't do anything wasteful and that you did what you were "supposed to do". And when the day comes where your willpower runs out and the "real you", the "inner bitch" or whatever you call it comes out and slips up then you torture yourself mentally through shame and guilt which only reinforces this cycle.
What happens when you keep telling yourself that what you need to do is hard, painful, a "great journey" etc.? You freeze due so much self inflicted mental friction . You constantly feel like you have to push this huge mental boulder around everywhere to achieve your goals. And this boulder DOES NOT EVER get lighter.
Lastly, and I cannot stress this enough, this mindset is down right idolatrous. It is worshipping suffering, hardship and your self image of a "savage" to the brim. Everything is about you, about how YOU are the "baddest mf around", and how you "grow" with suffering. It is the pinnacle of masochism and pride .
I like Goggins and I think his mindset works SOMETIMES. The problem is that this works until it ... doesn't ... and when you try to extrapolate it to your whole life you just end up mentally exhausted, burned out and IN A WORSE situation (at least that's my experience). If it works for you then by all means do what you want to do. But for those who look around, see that nothing in their live has improved and keep beating yourself saying that they're just "bitches", keep reading
What's the other option?
Man truly loves exaggerating his hardships and effort.
We've been indoctrinated since we've been children to see some things as pleasurable, easy, fun while others arduous. And it is no shocking that we want to binge Youtube while not wanting to exercise when we LITERALLY believe that it is easier and more pleasurable. But these ideas are NOT real. There is nothing "easy" or especially "pleasurable" in sitting in a completely stiff, motionless position while starring at a screen listening to some guy talking random useless things that you do not actually care for. There is nothing fundamentally pleasurable in porn, it is disgusting, and we know this to be true because when we were children and did not have dumb ideas planted into us we did view it as disgusting. I could go on and on ...
The real first step in finally quitting these is to see them as for what they are, DUMB, HARD, PAINFUL things that you ACTUALLY do not like. NOT see them as your "natural desire", as your "real tendencies" or as your your "inner bitch" that you keep running from and that you overcome with your mighty "discipline".
Secondly and more importantly is to SIMPLIFY the things that you need to do and to see them as EASY. What do you need to loose weight? Eat less and move more. It's VERY simple if you think about it at its core. People just like to make it look at lot harder in order to feel proud.
What do you need to do to get good at a skill? It is fundamentally easy. You act, then assert, then adjust. If you want to be a great graphic designer you just create some designs, assert if they are good or bad and adjust a little bit. Repeat that for a long time and you'll get good. Because at its core IT IS EASY.
My fundamental point is that if you keep thinking things are hard then they WILL be hard for you. So stop doing it. Change your perspective. See things how they truly are. And then you won't need willpower or "suffering" to stop doing things, you'll just stop desiring them and avoid them in the same way that you don't desire to hit your head on a wall and avoid doing it. And the best part is that you don't have to live in the Dream World and can feel good about yourself right now in your CURRENT circumstances.
Every idiot can make things feel difficult and complicated. It takes a smart person to see the simplicity and the ease in what they need to do.
Let me clarify what I DO NOT MEAN. I do NOT mean lifehacks, passive income or anything of the sort. Those things fake and false. They don't get you where you want to go. But just because these easy things do not work that doesn't mean that we should view things that DO work as MASSIVELY HARD.
At the end of the day, things that are worth it take time and dedication. But ... frankly enough... when you truly look at them on a day to day basis they're quite easy to do, or at least you should definitely think them as easy to do. Stop beating yourself by saying that you're on this great journey of suffering. You're no Heracles or messianic figure, and that's OKAY.
I have been an avid listener to Goggins and a vehement defender of this "grindset" mentality for the lack of a better term. What I mean by the grindset mentality sums up to:
- Achieving anything worth while in life is this MASSIVE challenge that you need to pour all of your willpower in and suffer for.
- You ultimately desire to just sit on a a couch and do nothing. You need to go to war with this "real you" in order to achieve your goals.
- You're just a bitch that doesn't want to do hard work if you cannot get yourself to stop doing bad things.
- You must fuel yourself with future dreams of "everything will be better when you achieve X and Y" aka living in the Dream World
I now adopted the OPPOSITE mindset. That achieving goals that are worth it is fundamentally EASY, it just takes a lot of time and patience.
Hear me out before saying anything.
Why is this mindset bad?
I started to doubt myself when I read forum reviews on Goggin's book. I've read both of his books multiple times, I've seen all of the podcasts that he is on, a good chuck his instagram reels etc. so don't tell me I "misunderstand him". It took me a long time though to see that how unfruitful this mindset was for my life.
Meanwhile I've read another book called "The Easy Peasy Method" which I absolutely loved and recommend. TLDR the book is about quitting porn addiction in a totally foreign way by flipping your brain to dislike doing bad things and to like good things. It is a book that INSISTS that you do NOT see quitting as "hard", you do NOT see yourself as having to "go to war with yourself", as "suffering" in order to grow. In fact it makes you see how EASY it is to quit and how HARD it is actually to keep being addicted.
Why am I bringing this up? Because after reading that book I've never watched porn ever again although I was struggling for years with the grindset way of thinking.
Why did I struggle in the first place? Well, the answer is obvious. Because YOU CANNOT WIN in this grindset mentality. The best thing that you can FEEL at the end of the day is RELIEF. You feel relief that you didn't do anything wasteful and that you did what you were "supposed to do". And when the day comes where your willpower runs out and the "real you", the "inner bitch" or whatever you call it comes out and slips up then you torture yourself mentally through shame and guilt which only reinforces this cycle.
What happens when you keep telling yourself that what you need to do is hard, painful, a "great journey" etc.? You freeze due so much self inflicted mental friction . You constantly feel like you have to push this huge mental boulder around everywhere to achieve your goals. And this boulder DOES NOT EVER get lighter.
Lastly, and I cannot stress this enough, this mindset is down right idolatrous. It is worshipping suffering, hardship and your self image of a "savage" to the brim. Everything is about you, about how YOU are the "baddest mf around", and how you "grow" with suffering. It is the pinnacle of masochism and pride .
I like Goggins and I think his mindset works SOMETIMES. The problem is that this works until it ... doesn't ... and when you try to extrapolate it to your whole life you just end up mentally exhausted, burned out and IN A WORSE situation (at least that's my experience). If it works for you then by all means do what you want to do. But for those who look around, see that nothing in their live has improved and keep beating yourself saying that they're just "bitches", keep reading
What's the other option?
Man truly loves exaggerating his hardships and effort.
We've been indoctrinated since we've been children to see some things as pleasurable, easy, fun while others arduous. And it is no shocking that we want to binge Youtube while not wanting to exercise when we LITERALLY believe that it is easier and more pleasurable. But these ideas are NOT real. There is nothing "easy" or especially "pleasurable" in sitting in a completely stiff, motionless position while starring at a screen listening to some guy talking random useless things that you do not actually care for. There is nothing fundamentally pleasurable in porn, it is disgusting, and we know this to be true because when we were children and did not have dumb ideas planted into us we did view it as disgusting. I could go on and on ...
The real first step in finally quitting these is to see them as for what they are, DUMB, HARD, PAINFUL things that you ACTUALLY do not like. NOT see them as your "natural desire", as your "real tendencies" or as your your "inner bitch" that you keep running from and that you overcome with your mighty "discipline".
Secondly and more importantly is to SIMPLIFY the things that you need to do and to see them as EASY. What do you need to loose weight? Eat less and move more. It's VERY simple if you think about it at its core. People just like to make it look at lot harder in order to feel proud.
What do you need to do to get good at a skill? It is fundamentally easy. You act, then assert, then adjust. If you want to be a great graphic designer you just create some designs, assert if they are good or bad and adjust a little bit. Repeat that for a long time and you'll get good. Because at its core IT IS EASY.
My fundamental point is that if you keep thinking things are hard then they WILL be hard for you. So stop doing it. Change your perspective. See things how they truly are. And then you won't need willpower or "suffering" to stop doing things, you'll just stop desiring them and avoid them in the same way that you don't desire to hit your head on a wall and avoid doing it. And the best part is that you don't have to live in the Dream World and can feel good about yourself right now in your CURRENT circumstances.
Every idiot can make things feel difficult and complicated. It takes a smart person to see the simplicity and the ease in what they need to do.
Let me clarify what I DO NOT MEAN. I do NOT mean lifehacks, passive income or anything of the sort. Those things fake and false. They don't get you where you want to go. But just because these easy things do not work that doesn't mean that we should view things that DO work as MASSIVELY HARD.
At the end of the day, things that are worth it take time and dedication. But ... frankly enough... when you truly look at them on a day to day basis they're quite easy to do, or at least you should definitely think them as easy to do. Stop beating yourself by saying that you're on this great journey of suffering. You're no Heracles or messianic figure, and that's OKAY.
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