Identity Hacking: How to Kill Your Status Quo

[NewManRising]

I really needed to read all of this.

I had a therapist tell me this recently. When we meet people or are in a room full of people we tend to look at others and look for differences. After doing this we convince ourselves we are different from everyone. We isolate ourselves and believe we don't belong. Instead, we need to look for similarities. Not only can you find some similarities on the outside you can assume that there are similarities on the inside too (same struggles, needs, worries, joys, etc). After being part of a lot of groups in the community I am learning this is true. I've met some wealthy people, people in prestigious positions, doctors, lawyers, judges, business owners, and just about anyone else in other positions , and they all have similar thoughts, feelings and struggles (though there are some minor differences).

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[markK]

INTJs have a highly sensitive BS detector, which is both a blessing and a curse. The curse is that we can call BS on our own positive or empowering thoughts, even when they are not actually BS.

After going through @eliquid Not Fulfilled? Depressed? Maybe You Need An Alignment and taking the personality tests that he suggested, I came up as an INTP. I find that I have some of the same thought patterns that you describe.

I am becoming aware of some of the self-defeating thought processes that are associated with the INTP type. If anyone has any knowledge concerning the INTP type and any tips for successfully overcoming the challenges, I would appreciate the input...or, should I not give too much credence to the personality typing, which can create yet another "identity"?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Bump, saw this being discussed in our Book of the Month discussion, Atomic Habits.

BOOK - Atomic Habits, by James Clear (Review & Discussion)

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Personality Isn't Permanent by B. Hardy, does a great job of explaining Identity Hacking, and really is a great example on how it works in various case studies. I must read.

 

[Under-Dog]

I feel like nowadays so many people say "I am an entrepreneur" why? What do you do? They say they are but what actions do they take? It's so easily thrown out there by people... At this point in time I just think of myself as some dude working at gaining my financial independence

 

[ZF Lee]

I've actually told people I trade options for a living because I wasn't in the mood to be discussing business. I knew saying "options" would make them immediately check out of the topic. Ha Ha, I just wanted to be left alone.

I think a lot of those people are still working out their failures. I told people I was an entrepreneur for 10 years before my entrepreneurship actually put food on the table.

Since when selling options became more honourable than entrepreneurship lol

But where I come from, if they hear of people selling options, the word 'scam' would be on their lips. Yup, that's how scam-ridden society is. Lots of money wolves around these days for such a misconception to occur.

But MJ, your earlier businesses weren't very entrepreneural in the strictest of sense until the limo biz...they were just normal tradesman avenues. So technically you didn't need 10 years for entrepreneurship to put food on the table, let alone make millions!

I feel like nowadays so many people say "I am an entrepreneur" why? What do you do? They say they are but what actions do they take? It's so easily thrown out there by people... At this point in time I just think of myself as some dude working at gaining my financial independence

Me too.
That's why I like entrepreneurship...its very neutral. I never want to be a lawyer, engineer or doctor not because I detest these occupations, but because I don't want to be known just for my career choices. When you spend decades mastering a craft or profession, you become immortalized with that badge stuck onto you for life. I just want to be known for my personality and the value that comes with it.

I really needed to read all of this.

I don't tell most people that I'm an entrepreneur simply because they start spewing their venom about the challenges and obstacles, without providing helpful feedback or solutions. These people are called energy vampires.

I keep telling myself that I'm an entrepreneur posing as an office drone.

The SCRIPT painfully reveals itself to you on your journey, especially once you step outside of the SCRIPT.

IMO, it's something like an egocentric mindset as suggested by Piaget...a pre-operational stage of development.
The inability to see things from other's POV really encumbers us to achieve more things.
It was really haunting to discover that the pre-operational stage is supposedly functional during your toddler or early childhood days before you supposedly progress onwards....so that means lots of us still have the mentality of kids lol...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Sequential]

Maybe I dont get it, but this seems backwards to me.

I'm an entrepreneur. How do I know I am?

Because I take the actions of an entrepreneur.

For me, the action comes first. If I want to change how I identify myself, I take action that is congruent with that identity FIRST...which makes it true.

I'm an entrepreneur not because I say I am, but because I DO IT.

I realize language matters, especially our internal language, but I'm not sure how to use that internal language to affect change.

What am I missing here?

Because the brain doesn't know the difference between a visualisation and an actual experience.

David R Hamilton PhD | Does your brain distinguish real from imaginary?David R Hamilton PhD

And your whole body, ego and everything else depend on your experiences.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Bump.

 

[Kruiser]

Do you want to change your current situation?

Then change your identity to a GROWTH IDENTITY from a STATUS QUO IDENTITY.

A STATUS QUO IDENTITY is what you are.

"I'm an engineer at Intel and someday would like to quit to start my own business."​

A GROWTH IDENTITY is what you want to become, not what you are.

"I'm an entrepreneur who works at Intel."​

MJ, Thanks for posting this and bumping it! I think it kind of provides a kind of key for me to move forward more effectively. Just a few days ago at a child's birthday party one of the other parents asked "so, what do you do?" My answer was "Uh . . . I guess I'm somewhere between being an unemployed corporate lawyer and an ecommerce entrepreneur." My answer was accurate (in a way), but this thread has helped me see why that answer is a problem and what the solution is.

 

[Kruiser]

After going through @eliquid Not Fulfilled? Depressed? Maybe You Need An Alignment and taking the personality tests that he suggested, I came up as an INTP. I find that I have some of the same thought patterns that you describe.

I am becoming aware of some of the self-defeating thought processes that are associated with the INTP type. If anyone has any knowledge concerning the INTP type and any tips for successfully overcoming the challenges, I would appreciate the input...or, should I not give too much credence to the personality typing, which can create yet another "identity"?

I don't know much about the INTP type, but have found Psycho-Cybernetics and Tony Robbins to be generally helpful in fighting internal negativity.
As to the value of Meyers-Briggs typing, I am pretty sure there are some extensive threads on the topic elsewhere in the forum. I have found knowing my type to be quite useful. I read a lot of INTJ descriptions. Doing so helped me to become aware of certain tendencies and blind spots that I was not aware of previously. But don't take your type TOO seriously or let it limit you. Can you really be stuffed into one of 16 possible boxes that explain everything about you? Also, just because you may have certain tendencies as an INTP does not mean you can't overcome them in order to reach your goals.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ZF Lee]

Bump, saw this being discussed in our Book of the Month discussion, Atomic Habits.

BOOK - Atomic Habits, by James Clear (Review & Discussion)

Yup, the relevant section in the Atomic Habits book reminded me of the Be-To-Have corollary.

The book is even better than the Goggins book, in terms of actionable steps that are clearer, comprehensive and more precise.

Even bridged the gap from classical psychologists like Thorndike. Back then when I studied psych for college, I knew we should be using those mind stuff to help ourselves, but that part was just never discussed at all in class.

I'll try to finish the book today, and then write up a review. 70% of my time reading it was spent more on reflecting what I had done so far with habits, the rights and wrongs I did.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

eagleye reporting here: Things remain the same! Still an employee, still on the slow lane. Still the same identity!

After some epic discussions with @Andrew J. I came to some conclusions.

I went vegan over a year ago. In the midst of a omnipresent meat/dairy based culture, two things made this difficult life change happen:

1) I identified as a "vegan".
2) The other was having the right emotional anchors.

A deeper dive into these two is a thread in itself.

To change your identity (imo) you should go through some deep shocking procedure or like a ritual (The best example coming to mind is the identity shift to people that join cults. They have deep initiation rituals and after that, people from the cults are not the same people. It's like their brain has been re-wired).

Ayahuasca should do the trick.

 

[Andyc2288]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oAKU7yiLcU


A lot of good points in this video about this topic.

 

[Hai]

Underrated thread. Identity hacking is the single most important tool, underlying everything we do.

 

[Antifragile]

Bump for all the "quiet quit" folks to read.

Personality Isn't Permanent by B. Hardy, does a great job of explaining Identity Hacking, and really is a great example on how it works in various case studies. I must read.

Good book.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Soulrize]

Reminds me of positive affirmations in a way , although this sticks more so .

 

[MitchM]

The affirmation is one thing.

Then there is the emotional attachment to the identity you want to shed.

"Affirmations are like taking a pile of dog shit, covering it in frosting, and calling it a cupcake."

What emotional attachments and reminders make you cling onto the old identity, and make you believe for it to still be true?

In Buddhist teachings, they say you must empty the cup before you can fill the cup. Be willing to let go of the old, and realize that's not who you are now, and release the emotional attachments...and this makes room for the new.

That's my experience for shifting identities faster at least.

I agree that you must let go of your old identity and once your actions and the life you are living are completely incongruent with it - it will fall to the wayside. That almost goes without saying.

The problem is when someone is being held back by their past and the way that they presently identify themselves to the point where it completely obstructs their ability to take action. In this position, someone needs both the awareness that their present model of themselves is the issue and that they CAN change it in order for transformation to even begin. Many people simply don't even believe that they are capable of changing. Only with the knowledge that they can change can action be taken in that direction.

Often with that action, their identity as being an apathetic loser with no direction in life (for example) is contradicted and this feeds into an identity of growth because now they are growing. I think that this is one of the most powerful aspects of progress in any aspect of life. When you experience growth you don't just make progress but you begin to identify as someone who is growing.

For that reason, maybe one of the best ways to help someone in a mental rut is by giving them easy steps of action that they can see direct results from.

 

[Under-Dog]

I think a lot of those people are still working out their failures. I told people I was an entrepreneur for 10 years before my entrepreneurship actually put food on the table.

Which is perfectly fine, so many have failed countless times before being a hit success. But you said it yourself you were working out failures meaning you were putting your ideas to action. I was referring more to the type "I'm an entrepreneur because I am thinking of starting some sort of business" while they sit on the couch binge watching netflix.

 

[Nekoemon]

In my life, I've ALWAYS self-identified as an entrepreneur since my teens and it helped me make that identity into a reality.

Another interesting effect of identity hack is that you are forced to leave the holy comfort zone in order to be able to walk the talk, otherwise you'll be just an arrogant imposter.
There's a limit however: your new identity should be rather vague, not too detailed. Don't say "I'm a professional translator who mastered in Mandarin Chinese" if you don't speak a single word of Chinese, you'll be unmasked in no time.

 

[OldFaithful]

Interesting video on the "Imposter Syndrome", thanks @MetalGear.

 

[Nekoemon]

Because the brain doesn't know the difference between a visualisation and an actual experience.

The subconscious part doesn't, but the conscious does. Otherwise thinking of a chocolate cake would be as good as eating a real one, which is not the case. That's why when you dream you can feel sensations as if they were real. Under hypnosis too.
This being said, as long as you know how to manipulate your subconscious mind, you can fool your brain quite easily.

 

[LeoistheSun]

Is this a good identity?:

"Im an Entrepreneur whos temporarily poor"

 

[LeoistheSun]

How about:

“I’m an entrepreneur who is beginning to build wealth.”

I suppose that was a pessimistic view :O

Thanks!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[StompingAcorns]

Nice post MJ! Identity hacking really does work. I've done it a few times now.

I'd be interested to hear more about what kind of "process" you follow in your head when you do this, if you care to share.

 

[Jambla]

This worked with me for food. I kept snacking on refined sugary treats, I couldn’t keep my discipline whenever a bit of cake tempted me.

Then I told myself “I don’t eat refined sugar”, I told other people that too. It was very powerful and in no time family identified me, they would say “oh he doesn’t eat sugar”. I would think to myself, yes that’s right I don’t. It would reinforce my behavior even more. As result I lost a lot of weight and got lean.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[raad182]

I've dated an arts teacher and she teached me things like Method Acting and Stanislavski.
Tried both and are really powerful tools for self improvement but has its downsides.
After learning these I gave more credit to The Secret, Law of Attraction and the likes.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gutski]

I quit smoking with this method. Haven‘t had any cigarette since 8 months and no desire to smoke one.

 

[Photool]

Valuable conversation here.

My thoughts and perspective :

The story and image you have of yourself is the set of the sail , it is the direction you set.
You embodying it (being it, cultivating , taking action, behaving in coherence to it ) is the rowing that moves you to that destination, it's what takes you to it and allows you to live in it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Ascension]

The subconscious part doesn't, but the conscious does.

Luckily the conscious part has very little to say in our decision making

 

[I Am I Said]

From then on, I thought of myself as a guy who could fight

Quoting so it stays in "My Content". Must re-read.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.