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How to get rid of scarcity/jealousy/comparison of other's success?

Claude Roy

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Hey Guys,

I'm really not proud of that one, but I feel like I'm probably not the only one who has dealt with this issue at a certain point in their life. Basically, 5% of the time, I find myself feeling jealous when I see some people that are succeeding a lot more than I am in either financial success, relationships, or even health. There seems to be no relation to the people that I'm jealous of, it can even be a family member that I deeply love, but there's a part of my that's jealous or it can be someone that I don't like, but still would like to have his results in whatever area he's more successful than me. I was listening to Unscripted yesterday and there's a chapter talking exactly about comparison and it hit me, I really want to find something that can help me and others as well.

It feels like my brain thinks that for some reason when others have better results than I do, it's taking something away from me and starts playing the comparison game which we all know is a losing game unless you're looking for inspiration. I believe that all of this is because of a scarcity mindset that is still a bit part of my brain. It's weird because intellectually, I know that it is just garbage and that this is not serving me at all, it's just wasting my precious energy. That's one thing that I'm really working on right now. Even though it feels fake, I'm trying to say the exact opposite and feel happy instead of jealous, when it happens and hope it's going to affect my subconscious and shift for good. Does anybody else has had trouble with that and if so, how did you solve it? Am I the only weirdo?

Thank you so much,

Claude
 

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Stargazer

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Like yourself a little bit more. And work on yourself a little bit more.

'Argumentum ad absurdum' as some duffer once chimed.

Maybe my hands are bigger or smaller than yours.

Doesn't matter right? Absurd thing to worry yourself over.

Well money and objects are not really any different.

So what is good about you? Make your own little list.

Dan
 

Kennypaul

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Hey Guys,

I'm really not proud of that one, but I feel like I'm probably not the only one who has dealt with this issue at a certain point in their life. Basically, 5% of the time, I find myself feeling jealous when I see some people that are succeeding a lot more than I am in either financial success, relationships, or even health. There seems to be no relation to the people that I'm jealous of, it can even be a family member that I deeply love, but there's a part of my that's jealous or it can be someone that I don't like, but still would like to have his results in whatever area he's more successful than me. I was listening to Unscripted yesterday and there's a chapter talking exactly about comparison and it hit me, I really want to find something that can help me and others as well.

It feels like my brain thinks that for some reason when others have better results than I do, it's taking something away from me and starts playing the comparison game which we all know is a losing game unless you're looking for inspiration. I believe that all of this is because of a scarcity mindset that is still a bit part of my brain. It's weird because intellectually, I know that it is just garbage and that this is not serving me at all, it's just wasting my precious energy. That's one thing that I'm really working on right now. Even though it feels fake, I'm trying to say the exact opposite and feel happy instead of jealous, when it happens and hope it's going to affect my subconscious and shift for good. Does anybody else has had trouble with that and if so, how did you solve it? Am I the only weirdo?

Thank you so much,

Claude
Hello Claude.Good for you to open up.I read the book called the "10 pillars of wealth" by Alex Becker(HIGHLY RECOMMENDED,its in the Fastlane bookstore).In pillar 5,it talks about accepting the abundance mindset and a whole lot of other things.This will address the "Scarcity mindset" that we do face from time to time.
Also for the problem of "Comparison between you and others"...I highly recommend that you read "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck" by Mark Manson.It will totally help you.Just give it a try.Interestingly,it's also in the fastlane bookstore.
 

Fox

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Less social media and entertainment. A lot of it by design is meant to make you feel terrible.

More action and being grateful...
- Write down or think about all the advantages you already have every day till you get rid of that habit.
- Connect and help those less fortunate in some way
- Put stuff in perspective. You have more than 99.9999% of people who ever lived. The people you are jealous are the other 0.0000000001% who happen to be all over social media, youtube, and on TV. And even then you don't know what their lives really are like too.

Don't engage it and put things back in perspective.
 

GMSI7D

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Am I the only weirdo?

e

come on, envy is very common

even the pareto principle agrees : 20 % of people have 80 % of the global success in society

in every area

wealth : 1 % of people own 50 % of the wealth of the world ( bilionnaires and so on )

sport : the guys at the top win everything ( Federer, and so on )

chess : the guy at the top win evrything for years


dating : the guys at the top date most of the girls of the town


and so on for everything for ever


people are not equal for success.

maybe before the law of the country

but not before life


which means than envy is inevitable.

like light and darkness, sun and moon, yin and yang, life and death, good and bad

you can't have success without envy on the other side

this is the polarity principle in esoteric teaching.



---> people who succeed must be very careful because envy will destroy them at the first opportunity



Law 46 Never appear too Perfect

" Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity. "


the 48 laws of power.






 

404profound

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come on, envy is very common

even the pareto principle agrees : 20 % of people have 80 % of the global success in society

in every area

wealth : 1 % of people own 50 % of the wealth of the world ( bilionnaires and so on )

sport : the guys at the top win everything ( Federer, and so on )

chess : the guy at the top win evrything for years


dating : the guys at the top date most of the girls of the town


and so on for everything for ever


people are not equal for success.

maybe before the law of the country

but not before life


which means than envy is inevitable.

like light and darkness, sun and moon, yin and yang, life and death, good and bad

you can't have success without envy on the other side

this is the polarity principle in esoteric teaching.



---> people who succeed must be very careful because envy will destroy them at the first opportunity



Law 46 Never appear too Perfect

" Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity. "


the 48 laws of power.





Very insightful post, @GMSI7D, always like reading your perspectives.
 

Maxboost

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Ask people who are more successful than you for advice. You’ll find that they are more than happy to help you out. It usually relieves any sense of jealousy when you find out they are on your side to succeed in life.
 

Mr.Brandtastic

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There seems to be no relation to the people that I'm jealous of, it can even be a family member that I deeply love, but there's a part of my that's jealous or it can be someone that I don't like, but still would like to have his results in whatever area he's more successful than me.
This might sound like unconventional advice on this thread, but being jealous is normal. And being envious is normal. Look at MJ Demarco, do you think that when he saw that Lamborghini there wasn't a deep seated feeling of jealousy in that moment? Of course there was, don't be silly.

The question is the transference of energy. Can you transfer your energy in jealousy towards a positive outcome?: I'm going to work hard and be more successful than so-and-so! I'm going to do more than him!

If you can then it can be productive and helpful. People who succeed in life are not always 100% sure and confident in themselves. Many are. But many aren't.

It's not even a bad thing. I'm jealous of many of the members here and their incredible life stories and experiences. I learn and grow from them. Just keep it all in focus, I'm jealous now but someone else will be jealous of me later. I'm jealous now but I'm going to work to make my life great so that I don't feel any jealousy.

I know that it is just garbage and that this is not serving me at all, it's just wasting my precious energy
Oh? Are you spending so much energy that you cannot pull yourself out of bed? Don't worry about it so much. Don't exaggerate. It's not serving you? It got you motivated enough to write an entire blog post. You may not realize it right now, but it's motivating you to become successful.
 

WJK

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Hey Guys,

I'm really not proud of that one, but I feel like I'm probably not the only one who has dealt with this issue at a certain point in their life. Basically, 5% of the time, I find myself feeling jealous when I see some people that are succeeding a lot more than I am in either financial success, relationships, or even health. There seems to be no relation to the people that I'm jealous of, it can even be a family member that I deeply love, but there's a part of my that's jealous or it can be someone that I don't like, but still would like to have his results in whatever area he's more successful than me. I was listening to Unscripted yesterday and there's a chapter talking exactly about comparison and it hit me, I really want to find something that can help me and others as well.

It feels like my brain thinks that for some reason when others have better results than I do, it's taking something away from me and starts playing the comparison game which we all know is a losing game unless you're looking for inspiration. I believe that all of this is because of a scarcity mindset that is still a bit part of my brain. It's weird because intellectually, I know that it is just garbage and that this is not serving me at all, it's just wasting my precious energy. That's one thing that I'm really working on right now. Even though it feels fake, I'm trying to say the exact opposite and feel happy instead of jealous, when it happens and hope it's going to affect my subconscious and shift for good. Does anybody else has had trouble with that and if so, how did you solve it? Am I the only weirdo?

Thank you so much,

Claude
Adjust your glasses. You're only seeing one little aspect of the other person's situation. You're not seeing him as a whole person with his own set of personal challenges. I sure for all of his special gifts and advantages that make you green eyed, there are dark issues that balance his life. Try getting to know the object of your jealous feelings. You might be surprised at what you learn.
 

AnAverageJoe

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Less social media and entertainment. A lot of it by design is meant to make you feel terrible.
This has changed my life. Still is.

Also, I like to remember that the reason we struggle is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.
 

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OP
OP
Claude Roy

Claude Roy

Bronze Contributor
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Apr 11, 2017
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Orlando, FL
Hello Claude.Good for you to open up.I read the book called the "10 pillars of wealth" by Alex Becker(HIGHLY RECOMMENDED,its in the Fastlane bookstore).In pillar 5,it talks about accepting the abundance mindset and a whole lot of other things.This will address the "Scarcity mindset" that we do face from time to time.
Also for the problem of "Comparison between you and others"...I highly recommend that you read "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck" by Mark Manson.It will totally help you.Just give it a try.Interestingly,it's also in the fastlane bookstore.
Thank you so much for the answer, I love Becker! I'll have to re-read that chapter and The Subtle Art To Not Give A F*ck! Thanks :)
 
OP
OP
Claude Roy

Claude Roy

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Apr 11, 2017
69
232
157
28
Orlando, FL
Less social media and entertainment. A lot of it by design is meant to make you feel terrible.

More action and being grateful...
- Write down or think about all the advantages you already have every day till you get rid of that habit.
- Connect and help those less fortunate in some way
- Put stuff in perspective. You have more than 99.9999% of people who ever lived. The people you are jealous are the other 0.0000000001% who happen to be all over social media, youtube, and on TV. And even then you don't know what their lives really are like too.

Don't engage it and put things back in perspective.
True, actually social media is one of the main reason why that happens, I'll definitely cut that down and do some more volunteering which I already love doing :) Thank you so much for your time. By the way, I've watched some of your Youtube videos, I've been a Software Developer for over 5 years and you made me realize that it's possible starting from 0. Keep the awesome content going :)
 
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Claude Roy

Claude Roy

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Apr 11, 2017
69
232
157
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Orlando, FL
This might sound like unconventional advice on this thread, but being jealous is normal. And being envious is normal. Look at MJ Demarco, do you think that when he saw that Lamborghini there wasn't a deep seated feeling of jealousy in that moment? Of course there was, don't be silly.

The question is the transference of energy. Can you transfer your energy in jealousy towards a positive outcome?: I'm going to work hard and be more successful than so-and-so! I'm going to do more than him!

If you can then it can be productive and helpful. People who succeed in life are not always 100% sure and confident in themselves. Many are. But many aren't.

It's not even a bad thing. I'm jealous of many of the members here and their incredible life stories and experiences. I learn and grow from them. Just keep it all in focus, I'm jealous now but someone else will be jealous of me later. I'm jealous now but I'm going to work to make my life great so that I don't feel any jealousy.



Oh? Are you spending so much energy that you cannot pull yourself out of bed? Don't worry about it so much. Don't exaggerate. It's not serving you? It got you motivated enough to write an entire blog post. You may not realize it right now, but it's motivating you to become successful.
What an interesting perspective!! It's true that it's even helping me if I see it that way! Thank you so much for sharing that interesting perspective, I really love it. I can use all of that as fuel!

Thanks a lot :)
 
OP
OP
Claude Roy

Claude Roy

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Apr 11, 2017
69
232
157
28
Orlando, FL
Adjust your glasses. You're only seeing one little aspect of the other person's situation. You're not seeing him as a whole person with his own set of personal challenges. I sure for all of his special gifts and advantages that make you green eyed, there are dark issues that balance his life. Try getting to know the object of your jealous feelings. You might be surprised at what you learn.
So true,
This has changed my life. Still is.

Also, I like to remember that the reason we struggle is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.
So true, that's one of my big goals to reduce Social Media a lot! Thanks :)
 

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