How to get over a girl...quickly?

[Stubbers]

The easiest way is to wait 21 months then just as you are over her someone reminds you about her, then someone else, then someone else.... Then me ...

Out of interest what was the best way to get over her?

 

[CarrieW]

I was in almost the same situation but on the girls side

there is no way to just "get over" someone you loved. if you love her truely you will always love her in some way.

you may regret your decision to let her go... that said almost no parents regret their children(those go for accidents as well as on purpose babies)

you will probably always wonder what if.

I did what you guys did and I can say I do wonder what if alot...

there is no being ready to have kids. shes 29. every month for her from here on out makes it harder and harder for her to become and stay pregnant. its not that she is being unreasonable to your requests for time. in all honesty she doesnt have it to give.(how long you been together anyway? I was with my ex for almost 7 yrs)

sure you can distract yoursely by working on businesses and things but at the end of the day you will be there in bed all alone.

so the real question for me is what exactly about getting married and having a kid would hinder your progress? havent you ever heard every great man has a great woman behind him? why is it that you arent ready?

in my opinion if you love her then you will get your shit together and get ready for her. wth u waiting for your 27 and shes 29! its not like your 17...

 

[Steve W]

Hi Jason

You're right - it will suck. Badly.

My suggestion is to talk to her, try to understand her point of view & see if you can reach a compromise that suits you both. Bear in mind you won't hear the pitter-patter of little feet for 9 months anyway...

For what it's worth, my partner & I have 2 kids & having them is absolutely the best thing I've ever done & has made me more motivated & determined, not less. My only regret is waiting so long to have them. Life is certainly different with kids around - hugely fun, very exasperating at times, but never boring. You can kiss goodbye to certain lifestyle aspects you may enjoy now but in my mind it's well worth it.

Good luck & I hope you can work things out...

 

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[CommonCents]

I think stats show married people are generally more successful. Are you sure you arent using your biz as an excuse? Everyone has cold feet at one time or another.

 

[911Carrera]

Let her go. I wouldn't get back with her either as she might try to get pregnant to get her wish. Girls at that age are in rush to get married and have kids. You need to date younger girls to avoid issues like this.

 

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[The-J]

I was in almost the same situation but on the girls side

there is no way to just "get over" someone you loved. if you love her truely you will always love her in some way.

you may regret your decision to let her go... that said almost no parents regret their children(those go for accidents as well as on purpose babies)

you will probably always wonder what if.

I did what you guys did and I can say I do wonder what if alot...

there is no being ready to have kids. shes 29. every month for her from here on out makes it harder and harder for her to become and stay pregnant. its not that she is being unreasonable to your requests for time. in all honesty she doesnt have it to give.(how long you been together anyway? I was with my ex for almost 7 yrs)

sure you can distract yoursely by working on businesses and things but at the end of the day you will be there in bed all alone.

so the real question for me is what exactly about getting married and having a kid would hinder your progress? havent you ever heard every great man has a great woman behind him? why is it that you arent ready?

in my opinion if you love her then you will get your shit together and get ready for her. wth u waiting for your 27 and shes 29! its not like your 17...

Interesting, hearing it from a girl's perspective.

Although I'm only 19 and don't know shit about relationships or babies or marriage, I think you should just figure out what you really want out of life and, better yet, figure out how she can compliment, not detriment, your journey to the Fastlane. Who knows; kids may become an extra motivation for you. Kids don't have to be a roadblock.

 

[johnp]

I'm 24, getting married next summer and it hasn't slowed me down at all. In fact, I have my fiancee helping me with things. Worked out great. Although I'm not planning on having kids yet. But if I did, then I would make them work too. Think about it, you could have an army working for you.

I'm working on a business idea, and want to put my full efforts into this (I also have a day job).

And what happens if the business idea tanks? Then you are out a girlfriend who you (already said you loved) and a business idea. At least you will be left with some lessons learned...

I don't want my relationship (or lack there of) to hinder my progress.

Posting on forums will hinder your progress sometimes as well.

 

[Brander]

she wants to marry me and have a kid, and at 27 I'm just not ready for that, but I do love her

You are old enough, it's probably something else, you are not sure she is the right one for that endeavour. If you were you'd not be thinking about it, you'd be pleased she wants kids too.

Maybe you are not ready and want your life in order before you have kids. A legitimate goal and having kids that you don't really want wouldn't be fair on the kids for sure. You can't raise kids to be good human beings if you are resentful of them.

Good luck, time heels all wounds.

 

[Brander]

Yet to coerce you into marriage and kids by breaking up?

It might be coercion or it might just be desperation. She is 29 and she feels that by waiting 3-4 years is going to significantly diminish her ability to have kids/get a guy who doesn't yet have kids to have kids with her. And yes, she probably will find someone quick and marry them and have kids by the time she is 30. If the marriage will be a success, that is another story.

 

[CarrieW]

after I left I was married and had a baby just within a year. I moved out in april of 99 and got married nov 1999 and had my first child 5/3/00

still going after 13 yrs.

He still doesnt have any children...

 

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[CarrieW]

there is no way to be sure of anything in life ever. you have to look within yourself and your relationship and make your own decision. People can tell you a million reasons to validate either way you choose. only you know whats in your heart.

I would seriously have a very honest conversation with her and see if there isnt a way to both get what you need out of the situation.

Maybe she could be happy having a child in a year or 2 and not getting married. maybe not. you dont know untill you sit down and have that heart to heart. tell her your true feelings. be honest. if you do that then whatever decision you both come to neither of you will regret!

 

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[angelique]

Hi, JasonR. I went through something similar a few years back, except I was the one who didn't want marriage or kids. He did, and I did a good job of trying to convince myself I did - it worked for a while. But in the end, I realized I was fooling him and myself. (Now I know it's better not to do that.)

It sucked. Bad. For a good while. But it gets easier.

Keeping busy helps, but I don't recommend pushing away the feelings. Just make time for them, otherwise it takes longer to get over it. Sad music helps. Cry it out and let it go.

*hug*

 

[wade1mil]

Hey she was the one who was "scanning my package" lmao get it? lol I'm just kidding.

haha

 

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[dreamlove2012]

I am sorry but I have to say you don't love your girlfriend, you only love yourself. Think about the thing twice before move. If you don't want to marry her, just break up earlier.

Links Removed by BFLBob

 

[CarrieW]

I am more then a little curious as to what you decided... post an update please.

 

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[AJ.]

Well, thanks for the update.
She's married... still?
Odd.

Anyway, best of luck to you man.

 

[Lights]

I broken up with a guy a few days ago. It was sad but it was something I HAD to do, otherwise I would be trap in an unhappy relationship down the road. It hurts, but it gets better with time.


Time will really heal this, give it 4 months, and if time doesn't heal this... you're in love. And maybe you should consider going back with her?

 

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[Lights]

So...I moved out (a few miles down the road) in a month to month, small, studio apartment. Her best friend took over my lease. We still communicate, just much less frequently. There are more details to the original story, which I haven't felt compelled to post. We are sort of at a kind-of-friends, kind-of-dating stage of weirdness. I don't really mind it, as a lot of pressure is off my back. However, I know it can't last and is probably not healthy.

The weird thing, as soon as we decided to end it, I felt relieved. All of a sudden, there was a lot less pressure on me to do things I didn't necessarily want to do (get married, have children, etc.). Also, the fact that I have a limited amount of time to give her also makes things less stressful. There are times I do miss her, or feel like I want her back, but they are fleeting feelings. I also feel excitement at the thought of dating new women and meeting new people. So I'm not really sure what the hell is going on with me.

For the record, she sort of gave me a marriage ultimatum even though her divorce isn't finalized. She's been trying to get divorced for the last 3.5+ years. So I felt that was extremely messed up, and I felt that I had been extremely patient in waiting to finalize her divorce. The fact that she wasn't divorced yet bothered me. She told me it wasn't so much an ultimatum as much as it was just her wanting to know where we headed. She also wanted to know if we could have a baby in the next 1.5-3 years. I took as a "get married or get the F out" sort of thing.

You don't truely love her. That's not a bad thing. If you love her you would want her regardless of any illogical reasoning because love makes you do stupid/unwanted things. You feel relieve... which is a good sign.

You'll be fine in a month or two, see another woman fast. You're in reboud, which means you have a huge wanting/void in your heart to be with her, just to fill that inside you. I am going through that right now.

If I was you, I wouldn't be with her either. I wouldn't want to deal with a kid unless she can support it 100% without my money. That would be reason enough. But then I wouldn't be with a guy who had a kid, and couldn't support the child... not my type of situation to be in.

Find someone you could be 100% happy with, but don't waste too much time either... love can happen anywhere.

 

[GravyBoat]

Oh you should listen to the spammer, they are usually really bright people

It was probably his old girlfriend on a fake account

 

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[Tregan]

"I'm working on a business idea, and want to put my full efforts into this (I also have a day job). I don't want my relationship (or lack there of) to hinder my progress. And I also want the pain and suffering to go away quickly."

Jason,

I wish you well man but remember this...businesses and money come and go but relationships and family last forever. Love is the greatest power in the universe, don't make any decisions that you'll regret on your deathbed.

Best of luck!
T.R.

 

[Tregan]

IMO getting tied down before you yourself are stable (and know what you want to do) is a decision I'd regret on my deathbed.

Yeah it can.

 

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[smarty]

How to get over it? Just get over it. What you experience with one girl, you can experience with most girls. The key here is to detach any emotions from her, move on and date other girls. Don't wait, don't hang on. Don't pause your life
Don't text her, don't call her, do NOTHING. Ever. Never. Ever. Did I say NEVER? If she contacts you after a few weeks or months, assume she wants to see you and arrange an instant date. Hang out, Have fun, Hook up.
No relationship talks, none of that. At the end of the date, go for the kiss. If she rejects that, you're in the friend zone and you must NEVER go out as friends with her again. Make it clear to her that you're not interested on "being friends" bullshit

 

[Worldisyours]

Some really really soft replies here.

There is a saying

"She knows Best, rents an apartment, leases a toyota"


Man up and focus on your life.

 

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[Heisenberg]

Well, you sure are going to be a hoot. Dude, some things just don't need to be said.

 

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[Mr. Tycoon]

Well...long story short, my girlfriend and I have decided to end things (she wants to marry me and have a kid, and at 27 I'm just not ready for that, but I do love her). That's not a good enough answer for her (she's 29), and wants to end it. I'm moving out into my own place this weekend.

So far nothing has really sunk in yet, but when it does I know it will suck. I'm just trying to see if anyone has some insight and experience to help me as I go through this. I'm working on a business idea, and want to put my full efforts into this (I also have a day job). I don't want my relationship (or lack there of) to hinder my progress. And I also want the pain and suffering to go away quickly.

So...any advice!?

Yes..
Just go on dates with different girls ..or go find other girlfriend.
Just go as soon as possible,like next week.
Easy job..

 

[frieden70]

So...any advice!?

Yeah, stop liking girls. Boys are WAY easier .

This is why I don't deal with them (well, and plenty of other reasons but I digresses)

In all seriousness though, there's not much you can do but simply let shot happen and let time heal wounds.

I think it's super important to have a partner that understands and is supportive. I totally get not being ready for marriage and all that at this point in your life.

Hope everything works out for you!

 

[Nur]

28 and married and i can tell you they really need your attention (despite pursuing graduate school) I convinced her not to have kids yet.

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk 2

 

[jon.a]

I thought you got over her?

 

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[Tony Nguyen]

Well this thread has been resurrected. So best way to get over someone is TIME. that's pretty much it, just yourself distracted have some fun, life's to short to stress over theses things, if it wasn't met to be it wasn't met to be don't let it effect you and your mindset, love yourself take care of yourself have some self respect then the right person will come by.

- Tony Nguyen