How to get a FTE

[Aryeh]

Premise: I have read all the threads about an FTE, but I still have doubts

Morning,
How can you try to get a FTE ? From what I have read,a FTE is very important to push you to move your a$$,but if you don't have it ? is it possible to move forward without a TFE ?

 

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[BizyDad]

is it possible to move forward without a TFE ?

Yes. Its called having grit and determination and these things can be developed.

How can you try to get a FTE ?

You could try and blow up your whole life, hit rock bottom, and pick yourself back up.

But I wouldn't recommend it.

While I agree with 95% of what MJ preaches, I think the concept of an FTE is over rated. It's a real thing and plenty of people have one, but I think its "too important" in your mind.

If you've had one, great, move forward.
If you haven't had one, great, move forward.

 

[ZCP]

@StefanoMacagnino go be great. who cares what others say is important / is needed / coulda shoulda woulda.

what will YOU do TODAY to achieve your goals? post and then DO IT.

 

[Speed112]

Yes. Its called having grit and determination and these things can be developed.

You could try and blow up your whole life, hit rock bottom, and pick yourself back up.

But I wouldn't recommend it.

While I agree with 95% of what MJ preaches, I think the concept of an FTE is over rated. It's a real thing and plenty of people have one, but I think its "too important" in your mind.

If you've had one, great, move forward.
If you haven't had one, great, move forward.

Yeah I agree. I talked about it a bit in my latest Action-focused post.

It's difficult to engineer FTEs.

The most reliable way to do it is to know what you want, live life, and stumble upon the bs the world throws at you. When you get triggered enough to have had enough, that's your event.

Live.

You've got to put yourself out there. Get out of your comfort zone. Get frustrated with your situation.

My understanding of action is that it relies on discontent (I'll go more in-depth on that soon.) and the way I see it, the FTE is your discontent reaching critical mass and launching a psychological breakthrough that conjures up a new purpose.

The issue with it, however, is that it doesn't take place of discipline. If you fail to use that energy and clarity that comes with the event to establish new routines and train your discipline muscle, the effects will fade away and you'll be lost again.

I've had a few FTEs. The first one I wasn't prepared for. It came alongside serious trauma. I was confused. Didn't have the base of knowledge to capitalize on it. Failed to make it count and continued down the scripted path.

The second one was way more powerful, as I had already read TMF . It gave me the strength to give up the script, deal with ostracization from all of my peers, strike off on my own, and propel myself to enough freedom to relax - then it faded.

With Covid came a 3rd one which brought me my most productive year since, before the purpose failed to hold up to scrutiny and I lost my way a bit again.

Now... I'm taking action regardless. I know what I want and I'm clear how to get it, but it's a result of incremental growth and change and not something as drastic as the previous ones. This is the most promising and exciting attempt.

So a FTE can be important. It is a catalyst for great change. But it doesn't have to be necessary.

You shouldn't rely on it.

Just be aware of what it is and how it happens, so you don't deny its benefits when it occurs.

For some people, all they need is that one event and their life is coasting after that.

For others, like me, it's hard to make things stick.

The real driver is purpose, and FTEs are a trigger for finding your purpose. Aim towards that, search within you, start taking deliberate purposeful action, and you won't need a FTE. But when it comes... it'll kick you 5 steps forward!

...

If you REALLY want to make one happen, though...

Think about the things you hate the most in the world. Think about the people you despise. The activities you loathe.

Is there a way you can spend a month immersed in that toxic environment without mentally harming yourself too much?

Vow to invest a month in that trial by fire.

Chances are... not too long in the exercise you'll think "F*ck this, I'd rather work 100hrs a week building my own business than spend another moment in this cesspit" - then you'll know.

 

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[GPM]

An FTE isn't just something you pick up at the store. It is a life altering event that changes everything.

It's like being on a subway and watching a kid scream and jump all over and the dad just sit there and do nothing. You get angrier and angrier at that little brat and the spineless dad who just sits there and does nothing. Why doesn't he say something and correct his child, who is now pouring water from a bottle onto other passengers feet.

You get up and walk over to say something but before you do someone else starts to talk to the man. The man begins to cry and tells the stranger about how his wife passed away the night before and they are on their way to the only family he has left in the city. Their only child does not know how to react to it and had been alternating between hysterical sobs and acting out. He is broken and doesn't know how to keep on going.

After 10 seconds of hearing the story you suddenly go from feeling anger and frustration to complete compassion.

That's like an FTE. Your entire view instantly changes. Nothing about your situation, or life has changed, but your entire viewpoint is forever altered and will never be the same.

 

[Johnny boy]

Imagine an absolute stud of a man. His life is perfect. He's in great shape. He has a great group of friends. He always does cool shit. He's got a growing business.

Now imagine that he wakes up as you tomorrow. What would freak him out? What would be a massive shock to him? What would he immediately start changing the very first day? Would he look down at his stomach and think "holy shit, I'm a fatass now! F*ck!" Or would he look at his phone and see a text from a boss and realize he works a shitty job and then freak out?

This man is the greatest version of yourself. What would the greatest version of yourself be ashamed of if he woke up as the current you?

A FTE is a moment when a man says "no more mr. nice guy" and all of the built up problems and issues bubble up and he finally does the things he was too cowardly to do. All of his F*cks are gone. It's when you realize that you are done with pleasantries and constantly giving in to weakness. Some people have these moments and commit an act of violence. Some remember that 'success is the best revenge' and put that energy into something productive. It usually happens when work is going bad already, you hate how small your paycheck is, and then your boss yells at you one day...it's finally too far, the last straw, and you give that overweight middle management lady the finger and you go home and immediately work on your new business idea.

A FTE is just when you're going to stop 'taking it' any longer.

I have a bit of a hair trigger for what pisses me off. I have always resented authority and when some cunty teacher would tell me what to do, I would have some pretty messed up thoughts. Anger has done a whole lot for me. I now have basically zero people telling me what to do. The only entities I have any anger for are the IRS and the ATF for telling me I need to pay them each year and the other telling me I can't own machine guns. But the rest is all good. I love my friends, my girlfriend, my employees, my customers, etc. Everyone in my life is there because I want them to be. I love my life and I'm very happy because of the things I refused to accept.

Most people 'take it' their whole lives because they are spineless cowards. You should be ashamed to be anything like that. You should resent the idea of being a spineless coward and should do something about the things in your life that you don't like.

 

[Speed112]

Imagine an absolute stud of a man. His life is perfect. He's in great shape. He has a great group of friends. He always does cool shit. He's got a growing business.

Now imagine that he wakes up as you tomorrow. What would freak him out? What would be a massive shock to him? What would he immediately start changing the very first day? Would he look down at his stomach and think "holy shit, I'm a fatass now! f*ck!" Or would he look at his phone and see a text from a boss and realize he works a shitty job and then freak out?

This man is the greatest version of yourself. What would the greatest version of yourself be ashamed of if he woke up as the current you?

A FTE is a moment when a man says "no more mr. nice guy" and all of the built up problems and issues bubble up and he finally does the things he was too cowardly to do. All of his f*cks are gone. It's when you realize that you are done with pleasantries and constantly giving in to weakness. Some people have these moments and commit an act of violence. Some remember that 'success is the best revenge' and put that energy into something productive. It usually happens when work is going bad already, you hate how small your paycheck is, and then your boss yells at you one day...it's finally too far, the last straw, and you give that overweight middle management lady the finger and you go home and immediately work on your new business idea.

A FTE is just when you're going to stop 'taking it' any longer.

I have a bit of a hair trigger for what pisses me off. I have always resented authority and when some cunty teacher would tell me what to do, I would have some pretty messed up thoughts. Anger has done a whole lot for me. I now have basically zero people telling me what to do. The only entities I have any anger for are the IRS and the ATF for telling me I need to pay them each year and the other telling me I can't own machine guns. But the rest is all good. I love my friends, my girlfriend, my employees, my customers, etc. Everyone in my life is there because I want them to be. I love my life and I'm very happy because of the things I refused to accept.

Most people 'take it' their whole lives because they are spineless cowards. You should be ashamed to be anything like that. You should resent the idea of being a spineless coward and should do something about the things in your life that you don't like.

Hey that's really cool.

By that description, I had a FTE just the other day. It wasn't as drastic as past experiences, since I was already taking steps in this direction, but yesterday I took some drastic action...

Got up, took a cold shower, worked out, then went all-in on something I've been pussyfooting around for a while.

It felt great.

It wasn't a major worldview-shifting FTE that changed my life dramatically. It was simply a commitment to myself.

What triggered it for me was all the action I've been taking recently and the resulting huge boost in mental and physical fitness. I'm better now. I should act like it.

So for these marginal FTE that push the needle but don't have to revolutionize your life...

I'll give the advice I give my gamer friends when they're struggling with something:

GIT GUD​

 

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[Aryeh]

Thank you guys for your feedback !

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Thank you guys for your feedback !

Do you know how to click the "LIKE" button? It shows your gratitude.

 

[Aryeh]

Do you know how to click the "LIKE" button? It shows your gratitude.

You're right MJ. I need to learn to be appreciative of those who give me advice or simply express their own opinion

 

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