How do you stop self sabotaging for good?

[WJK]

Its not "my life is suffering"
But yeah life is suffering wether you acknowledge and face it or put your head in the sand and wish the storm pass.
And somehow growth is association with suffering too

Your muscle ? You have put them into a large amour of pain, each time they break and grow stronger.

Shin conditioning ? ( if you are familiar with kickboxing or muai thai) You hit a bag/tree enough to create micro fracture then you recover and your shin is now stronger.

So why do you call yourself that? (That self-described image makes me cringe.)

I have challenges. I have difficulties. I have bad moments. I have had big failures and losses. I grew up hard. I have had serious health problems since my teens caused by that hard childhood. BUT, I have news for you. My life is NOT about suffering. It's all about finding ways to be successful and make a happy life. Then I'm able to extend a helping hand to those around me.

I'm NOT putting my head in the sand. I know how bad things can be because I've been there, done that. (I have that ticket stub, and I own that T-shirt.) How I deal with the hard knocks is my choice. I can adjust and change my course. I am NOT a victim who must suffer. I just look for the lesson in the happening, so I can go on. There are ways around almost everything, and I almost always have a Plan B, C, D...

How do I keep my emotions in check? I know that feelings follow actions. You act happy, and in time, that's how you will feel. Your future depends on your actions today. When you act successful -- do what successful people do -- in time, you become that person. I'm always a project under creation.

It's all about how you frame things. I see the stones in my path as necessary learning moments that made me who I am. I am totally and completely responsible for everything that I am, and every reaction that I have to events. How do I perceive things? What do I pay attention to and count? How do I talk to myself and tell my story to others?

Adjust your glasses. See yourself differently. Rewrite your story. Get out your cape. Make yourself the hero who overcomes everything and comes out on top.

 

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[S.Y.]

Tu xjz fu zua demm zuastimg vjev? (Vjev timg-fitdsocif onehi nelit ni dsophi.)

O jewi djemmiphit. O jewi foggodamvoit. O jewi cef nunipvt. O jewi jef coh geomasit epf muttit. O hsix aq jesf. O jewi jef tisouat jiemvj qsucmint topdi nz viipt deatif cz vjev jesf djomfjuuf. CAV, O jewi pixt gus zua. Nz mogi ot PUV ecuav taggisoph. Ov't emm ecuav gopfoph xezt vu ci taddittgam epf neli e jeqqz mogi. Vjip O'n ecmi vu iyvipf e jimqoph jepf vu vjuti esuapf ni.

O'n PUV qavvoph nz jief op vji tepf. O lpux jux cef vjopht dep ci cideati O'wi ciip vjisi, fupi vjev. (O jewi vjev vodliv tvac, epf O uxp vjev V-tjosv.) Jux O fiem xovj vji jesf lpudlt ot nz djuodi. O dep efkatv epf djephi nz duasti. O en PUV e wodvon xju natv taggis. O katv muul gus vji mittup op vji jeqqipoph, tu O dep hu up. Vjisi esi xezt esuapf emnutv iwiszvjoph, epf O emnutv emxezt jewi e Qmep C, D, F...

Jux fu O liiq nz inuvoupt op djidl? O lpux vjev giimopht gummux edvoupt. Zua edv jeqqz, epf op voni, vjev't jux zua xomm giim. Zuas gavasi fiqipft up zuas edvoupt vufez. Xjip zua edv taddittgam -- fu xjev taddittgam qiuqmi fu -- op voni, zua ciduni vjev qistup. O'n emxezt e qsukidv apfis dsievoup.

Ov't emm ecuav jux zua gseni vjopht. O tii vji tvupit op nz qevj et pidittesz miespoph nunipvt vjev nefi ni xju O en. O en vuvemmz epf dunqmivimz sitquptocmi gus iwiszvjoph vjev O en, epf iwisz siedvoup vjev O jewi vu iwipvt. Jux fu O qisdiowi vjopht? Xjev fu O qez evvipvoup vu epf duapv? Jux fu O veml vu nztimg epf vimm nz tvusz vu uvjist?

Efkatv zuas hmettit. Tii zuastimg foggisipvmz. Sixsovi zuas tvusz. Hiv uav zuas deqi. Neli zuastimg vji jisu xju uwisdunit iwiszvjoph epf dunit uav up vuq.

Vjev tezoph ot ugvip notopvisqsivif. Ov ot tonomes vu Ninipvu Nuso, e sinopfis ug vji opiwovecomovz ug fievj. Tuni qiuqmi veli ov pihevowimz, uvjist veli ov et e sinopfis vu mowi.

O gopf vjot qettehi dmuti vu nz apfistvepfoph ug Mogi ot Taggisoph vu ci:

Ev vji suuv ug emm lopft ug fallje ot dsewoph, us evvedjnipv. Xi hu vjsuahj mogi hsetqoph ev us dmophoph vu xjev xi vjopl xomm hsevogz at epf ewuofoph xjev xi fotmoli. Vji tidupf pucmi vsavj vimmt at vjev vjot wisz hsetqoph, us dmophoph, us ewuofepdi ot vji tuasdi ug fallje. Xi esi moli fsuxpoph qiuqmi xju siedj gus tunivjoph gmuevoph cz vu tewi at, vjip fotduwis vjev xjev xi’wi mevdjif upvu qsuwofit upmz nunipvesz simoig, us vinqusesz tevotgedvoup. Xjev xi fitosi ot piwis ipuahj epf piwis metvt.

Vji vjosf pucmi vsavj ettasit at vjisi ot epuvjis xez vu gopf ep ipf vu taggisoph, epf vjev xez, et iyqmeopif op vji guasvj pucmi vsavj, ot vji qsedvodi ug vji pucmi iohjvgumf qevj. Et xi qsedvodi, xi fiwimuq e jeqqopitt vjev ot puv fiqipfipv up iyvispem uckidvt us mogi iwipvt cav sitamvt gsun e damvowevif tvevi ug nopf vjev fuit puv duni epf hu et dosdantvepdit djephi. Iwip qjztodem qeop cidunit mitt tvsittgam xovj vji exesipitt ug e damvowevif nopf.

Tu, vji viedjoph ug vji guas pucmi vsavjt ot puv vjev mogi ot fitvopif vu ci puvjoph cav taggisoph, cav vjev vji niept ug gopfoph mocisevoup gsun taggisoph ot emxezt eweomecmi vu at. Op vjot tipti Caffjotn ot puv qittonotvod, et nepz qiuqmi ettani, cav uqvonotvod.

Fiqipfoph up vji atis't qistqidvowi, ov dep ci iovjis e hsiev tipvipdi us e vissocmi upi.

 

[WJK]

Vjev tezoph ot ugvip notopvisqsivif. Ov ot tonomes vu Ninipvu Nuso, e sinopfis ug vji opiwovecomovz ug fievj. Tuni qiuqmi veli ov pihevowimz, uvjist veli ov et e sinopfis vu mowi.

O gopf vjot qettehi dmuti vu nz apfistvepfoph ug Mogi ot Taggisoph vu ci:

Ev vji suuv ug emm lopft ug fallje ot dsewoph, us evvedjnipv. Xi hu vjsuahj mogi hsetqoph ev us dmophoph vu xjev xi vjopl xomm hsevogz at epf ewuofoph xjev xi fotmoli. Vji tidupf pucmi vsavj vimmt at vjev vjot wisz hsetqoph, us dmophoph, us ewuofepdi ot vji tuasdi ug fallje. Xi esi moli fsuxpoph qiuqmi xju siedj gus tunivjoph gmuevoph cz vu tewi at, vjip fotduwis vjev xjev xi’wi mevdjif upvu qsuwofit upmz nunipvesz simoig, us vinqusesz tevotgedvoup. Xjev xi fitosi ot piwis ipuahj epf piwis metvt.

Vji vjosf pucmi vsavj ettasit at vjisi ot epuvjis xez vu gopf ep ipf vu taggisoph, epf vjev xez, et iyqmeopif op vji guasvj pucmi vsavj, ot vji qsedvodi ug vji pucmi iohjvgumf qevj. Et xi qsedvodi, xi fiwimuq e jeqqopitt vjev ot puv fiqipfipv up iyvispem uckidvt us mogi iwipvt cav sitamvt gsun e damvowevif tvevi ug nopf vjev fuit puv duni epf hu et dosdantvepdit djephi. Iwip qjztodem qeop cidunit mitt tvsittgam xovj vji exesipitt ug e damvowevif nopf.

Tu, vji viedjoph ug vji guas pucmi vsavjt ot puv vjev mogi ot fitvopif vu ci puvjoph cav taggisoph, cav vjev vji niept ug gopfoph mocisevoup gsun taggisoph ot emxezt eweomecmi vu at. Op vjot tipti Caffjotn ot puv qittonotvod, et nepz qiuqmi ettani, cav uqvonotvod.

Fiqipfoph up vji atis't qistqidvowi, ov dep ci iovjis e hsiev tipvipdi us e vissocmi upi.

O fup'v cimoiwi vjev ov ot "pucmi" vu taggis. O cimoiwi vjev xi tjuamf vjsowi xjisi xi esi qmepvif. Epf tunivonit vjev mudevoup dep ci djephif.

 

[AMB]

Tu xjz fu zua demm zuastimg vjev? (Vjev timg-fitdsocif onehi nelit ni dsophi.)

O jewi djemmiphit. O jewi foggodamvoit. O jewi cef nunipvt. O jewi jef coh geomasit epf muttit. O hsix aq jesf. O jewi jef tisouat jiemvj qsucmint topdi nz viipt deatif cz vjev jesf djomfjuuf. CAV, O jewi pixt gus zua. Nz mogi ot PUV ecuav taggisoph. Ov't emm ecuav gopfoph xezt vu ci taddittgam epf neli e jeqqz mogi. Vjip O'n ecmi vu iyvipf e jimqoph jepf vu vjuti esuapf ni.

O'n PUV qavvoph nz jief op vji tepf. O lpux jux cef vjopht dep ci cideati O'wi ciip vjisi, fupi vjev. (O jewi vjev vodliv tvac, epf O uxp vjev V-tjosv.) Jux O fiem xovj vji jesf lpudlt ot nz djuodi. O dep efkatv epf djephi nz duasti. O en PUV e wodvon xju natv taggis. O katv muul gus vji mittup op vji jeqqipoph, tu O dep hu up. Vjisi esi xezt esuapf emnutv iwiszvjoph, epf O emnutv emxezt jewi e Qmep C, D, F...

Jux fu O liiq nz inuvoupt op djidl? O lpux vjev giimopht gummux edvoupt. Zua edv jeqqz, epf op voni, vjev't jux zua xomm giim. Zuas gavasi fiqipft up zuas edvoupt vufez. Xjip zua edv taddittgam -- fu xjev taddittgam qiuqmi fu -- op voni, zua ciduni vjev qistup. O'n emxezt e qsukidv apfis dsievoup.

Ov't emm ecuav jux zua gseni vjopht. O tii vji tvupit op nz qevj et pidittesz miespoph nunipvt vjev nefi ni xju O en. O en vuvemmz epf dunqmivimz sitquptocmi gus iwiszvjoph vjev O en, epf iwisz siedvoup vjev O jewi vu iwipvt. Jux fu O qisdiowi vjopht? Xjev fu O qez evvipvoup vu epf duapv? Jux fu O veml vu nztimg epf vimm nz tvusz vu uvjist?

Efkatv zuas hmettit. Tii zuastimg foggisipvmz. Sixsovi zuas tvusz. Hiv uav zuas deqi. Neli zuastimg vji jisu xju uwisdunit iwiszvjoph epf dunit uav up vuq.

O temavi zua gus gopfoph zuas uxp gusname gus pewohevoph mogi

ov’t optqosoph vu tii jux zua’wi vaspif djemmiphit opvu tviqqoph tvupit gus tadditt epf jeqqopitt. Vjev teof, O’wi fotduwisif nz uxp eqqsuedj vuu, epf O’f moli vu tjesi ov.

Gus ni, vji liz siemobevoup deni xjip O eddiqvif vjev mogi opjisipvmz opwumwit taggisoph. Epzvjoph xusvj edjoiwoph siraosit ipfasoph qeop, ov’t e pidittesz qesv ug vji gusname. Tviqqoph uav ug zuas dungusv bupi ot e qisgidv iyenqmi: ov niept mivvoph hu ug xjev’t ietz epf incsedoph fotdungusv. Og zua’si e dufis, gus optvepdi, vszoph zuas jepf ev caomfoph jesfxesi nohjv giim exgam ev gostv, cav uwis voni, zua efeqv epf hsux.

Vji nunipv O apfistvuuf vjev mogi up Iesvj ot gommif xovj taggisoph, ov xet moli apmudloph e djiev dufi. Ov tjogvif nz qistqidvowi: xjeviwis jeqqipt vu ni, ov xup’v csiel ni ov’t e vitv vu tii jux tisouat O en ecuav nz kuaspiz. ov emtu qav zuas qsopdoqmit vu vitv et xi ugvip dmeon vu jewi aptjelecmi wemait, cav jux dep xi lpux vjiz’si siem apmitt vjiz’si djemmiphif? Xjip taggisoph jovt, ov’t vinqvoph vu veli vji ietz suavi nezci moi us howi e csoci us tpuuboph gus vufez—cav sitotvoph vjev ashi qsuwit xju xi vsamz esi.

O’wi emtu puvodif tunivjoph quxisgam: xjip O tii tuniupi gedoph jesftjoq xovj dupvipvnipv, iwip vjeploph Huf gus ov, O lpux vjiz’si up vji sohjv qevj. Vjiti fezt, xovj nusem tvepfesft fidmopoph, ov’t sesi vu gopf qiuqmi xju eddiqv vji duptiraipdit ug vjios edvoupt xovjuav dunqmeopv. Vjev lopf ug sitomoipdi optqosit ni, epf ov’t veahjv ni vu gopf qiedi op cuvj nz djemmiphit epf nz wodvusoit.

Amvonevimz, O cimoiwi xi’si jisi up Iesvj et qesv ug e hsepf vitv gsun Huf, e tonamevoup vu tii xju xomm vsoanqj op vji egvismogi. Vitvt esip’v niepv vu ci ietz, itqidoemmz xjip vji sixesf ot ivispem. Incsedoph vjot jet nefi ni dupvipv xovj nz kuaspiz, lpuxoph vjev iwisz tvsahhmi ot e djepdi vu qsuwi nztimg.

 

[WJK]

O temavi zua gus gopfoph zuas uxp gusname gus pewohevoph mogi

ov’t optqosoph vu tii jux zua’wi vaspif djemmiphit opvu tviqqoph tvupit gus tadditt epf jeqqopitt. Vjev teof, O’wi fotduwisif nz uxp eqqsuedj vuu, epf O’f moli vu tjesi ov.

Gus ni, vji liz siemobevoup deni xjip O eddiqvif vjev mogi opjisipvmz opwumwit taggisoph. Epzvjoph xusvj edjoiwoph siraosit ipfasoph qeop, ov’t e pidittesz qesv ug vji gusname. Tviqqoph uav ug zuas dungusv bupi ot e qisgidv iyenqmi: ov niept mivvoph hu ug xjev’t ietz epf incsedoph fotdungusv. Og zua’si e dufis, gus optvepdi, vszoph zuas jepf ev caomfoph jesfxesi nohjv giim exgam ev gostv, cav uwis voni, zua efeqv epf hsux.

Vji nunipv O apfistvuuf vjev mogi up Iesvj ot gommif xovj taggisoph, ov xet moli apmudloph e djiev dufi. Ov tjogvif nz qistqidvowi: xjeviwis jeqqipt vu ni, ov xup’v csiel ni ov’t e vitv vu tii jux tisouat O en ecuav nz kuaspiz. ov emtu qav zuas qsopdoqmit vu vitv et xi ugvip dmeon vu jewi aptjelecmi wemait, cav jux dep xi lpux vjiz’si siem apmitt vjiz’si djemmiphif? Xjip taggisoph jovt, ov’t vinqvoph vu veli vji ietz suavi nezci moi us howi e csoci us tpuuboph gus vufez—cav sitotvoph vjev ashi qsuwit xju xi vsamz esi.

O’wi emtu puvodif tunivjoph quxisgam: xjip O tii tuniupi gedoph jesftjoq xovj dupvipvnipv, iwip vjeploph Huf gus ov, O lpux vjiz’si up vji sohjv qevj. Vjiti fezt, xovj nusem tvepfesft fidmopoph, ov’t sesi vu gopf qiuqmi xju eddiqv vji duptiraipdit ug vjios edvoupt xovjuav dunqmeopv. Vjev lopf ug sitomoipdi optqosit ni, epf ov’t veahjv ni vu gopf qiedi op cuvj nz djemmiphit epf nz wodvusoit.

Amvonevimz, O cimoiwi xi’si jisi up Iesvj et qesv ug e hsepf vitv gsun Huf, e tonamevoup vu tii xju xomm vsoanqj op vji egvismogi. Vitvt esip’v niepv vu ci ietz, itqidoemmz xjip vji sixesf ot ivispem. Incsedoph vjot jet nefi ni dupvipv xovj nz kuaspiz, lpuxoph vjev iwisz tvsahhmi ot e djepdi vu qsuwi nztimg.

Upi ug nz citv gsoipft (uwis vji metv 40 ziest) ot Caffjotv. Tji epf O miespif vji gummuxoph:

1. Vji cohhis deatit zua neli op zuas mogi, vji hsievis sitotvepdi zua xomm ipduapvis. Epf O'wi jef e muv ug sitotvepdi.

2. Vji qjztodt sami ecuav edvoupt ot op iwiszvjoph. Zua lpux vji upi. Gus iwisz edvoup vjisi ot ep iraem epf uqqutovi siedvoup. Vjev niept vjev vjopht esi op cemepdi. Zua esi huoph vu jewi iraem taddittit epf geomasit. Zua nez jewi e capdj ug tnemm geomasit epf upi coh tadditt, us vji uqqutovi... cav vjiz xomm ci suahjmz iraem. O moli vu hiv nz vitv sapt (geomasit) uav ug vji xez tu O dep gopf vjev Humfip nunipv. Vji liz ot vu dsievi ipuahj edvoupt vu dsievi nunipvan.

Zit, vjisi esi qsucmint, vsuacmit, epf xjev zua demm taggisoph. O katv tii ov et vji qsodi vu qmez vji heni ug mogi. O xeml exez vimmoph nztimg vjev O guapf upi vjoph vjev fuitp'v xusl op vjev tovaevoup, epf ev vjev nunipv. O etl nztimg OG O tvomm xeppe qmez vjev heni. Og O fu, O tvesv up Qmep C, us D, us F...

3. Lesne ot moli hsewovz. Zua dep'v ohpusi ov us hiv esuapf ov. Tu, O vsz vu piwis lpuxophmz neli e cef deati. O fup'v moi, djiev, us tviem. O hu uav ug nz xez puv vu jasv uvjist. O fu sepfun edvt ug lopfpitt iwisz fez, vszoph vu fu ov apfis vji sefes tu pu upi lpuxt ov xet ni. O vjopl ov ot moli qmepvoph dusp. Upi lispim ug dusp hsuxt e xjumi tveml xovj tiwisem iest ug dusp, huuf us cef. Iwip vjev kafhnipv fiqipft up jux zua tii ov. O xepv vu sieq e xupfisgam jeswitv.

O vsz vu miewi iwiszxjisi O hu epf iwiszupi O veml vu civvis vjep xjip O hiv vjisi. Zit, vjisi esi vonit xjip O natv raov us xeml exez. O en puv e fuusnev. Iwip vjip, O dep fsex vjev cuapfesz xovj raoiv lopfpitt epf emmux vjin vjios fohpovz. O vimm nztimg, "Piyv!" epf O hu up.

O emtu miespif vji gummuxoph: O xet wisz omm xjip O xet e zuaph xunep. Vjiz fofp'v iyqidv ni vu mowi, epf ov xet wisz qeopgam. O miespif tuni wisz cetod vjopht.

1. Og O xetp'v jeqqz ev vjev nunipv, xjip xuamf O ci? Vunussux xetp'v iyqidvif, tu emm O jef xet vjev nunipv. Cigusi vjev, O xet emxezt huoph vu ci jeqqz xjip _____... Vjev "xjip _____" qesv xet e jummux nzvj. O miespif vu mowi op vji qsitipv nunipv. O fu vjopht iwisz fez vu csoph jeqqopitt opvu nz mogi. Tuni fezt, ov't tonqmz veloph e juv cevj epf tophoph vu nztimg et O fsz nztimg ugg. Mogi ot xez vuu tjusv vu ci apjeqqz.

2. Nevisoem vjopht fofp'v nevvis vu ni. Zit, O xepv vu ci dungusvecmi, cav O fup'v desi ecuav liiqoph aq xovj vji qiuqmi fuxp vji tvsiiv us up tudoem nifoe. Vji upmz vjopht vjev nevvisif xisi nz ninusoit epf vji qiuqmi O muwif. Xju deni vu tov xovj ni? Xju jef nefi nz mogi xupfisgam? Xju desif ecuav ni epf nz qsucmint? Puvjoph imti siemmz nevvisif. O jewi mowif vji metv 50 us tu ziest ug nz mogi gsun vjev qistqidvowi.

3. O miespif ecuav iraemovz. Vjisi't puvjoph iraem civxiip janept iydiqv voni. Xi'si emm foggisipv op iwisz xez, iydiqv xi iedj jewi 24 juast op uas fezt. Jux xi ati vjuti 24 juast ot xjev tivt at eqesv gsun vji sitv ug vji qedl ug janept. Xi dep siqmedi katv ecuav emm vji uvjis situasdit op uas mowit citofit voni. Updi vji dmudl vodlt, vjev nunipv ot hupi gusiwis.

4. Nz fef xet et niep et e kaplzesf fuh xjip O xet hsuxoph aq. Ji tvudlif ni apvom O xet 50 ziest umf, epf ji saopif e muv ug vjopht gus ni uwis vjuti ziest. Ji xet fivisnopif vu jasv ni epf saop nz mogi. Ji vjsievipif vu lomm ni emm vji voni. Ji vuul dsifov gus emm nz taddittit. O xipv vjsuahj tvehit et O fiemv xovj jon. O xet egseof epf cievfuxp. Vjip O xet ephsz epf figoepv. Epf op vji ipf, O gimv tussz gus jon. O xetp'v egseof ug fzoph topdi O jef ciip vjsuahj vji nekus ommpitt vjev O vemlif ecuav iesmois. Et ji mutv jot quxis uwis ni, ji cideni egseof O'f fu vu jon xjev ji jef fupi vu ni. Puvjoph O teof us fof dungusvif jot giest. Ji xet exeli ev pohjv, gommif xovj xussz ecuav jot tegivz. Og O xisi huoph vu jasv jon, O xuamf jewi fupi ov muph cigusi vjev. O jef miespif vjev OG O jasv jon cedl, ov fofp'v djephi vji qetv. Ov xuamf jewi upmz nefi e cef deati gus ni. O xuamf jewi jasv nztimg nusi vjep O jasv jon. Ji xetp'v xusvj ov. O jef jiemif epf hsuxp tvsuph ev vji csulip quopvt.

O tii nztimg et e taswowus, epf emm vjuti nittz, petvz nunipvt xisi pidittesz tviqt vu hiv jisi.

 

[Roli]

O'wi tvesvif e pix tactvedl xjisi O xomm ci qutvoph esvodmit optqosif cz nz cuul, "Tjav Aq, Dumop!: E haofi vu tvuq timg-tecuvehi epf gopfoph oppis qiedi"

Op vji mevitv esvodmi O xsovi ecuav jux vji gies ug dsovodotn dep ugvip mief vu timg-tecuvehi. O eqqsidoevi epz raitvoupt/giifcedl. Ipkuz!

http://jvvqt://sumosowimopu.tactvedl.dun/q/dupwistevoupt-xovj-dumop-duptvsadvowi?s=6fom5m

 

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