How do I stop worrying & overthinking & stressing out (20yo)

[Peakdesire]

Realize that only experiential knowledge matters. Conceptual knowledge is useless and will only drive you deeper into your head causing more anxiety.

Example: I figured I should learn programming. I watched videos, read books about it (conceptual knowledge). Seemed cool, at that point.

Decided to try it. Straight up coded for 100 hours (I kept track)(experiential knowledge). Hated it. Not my thing.


Tried that with many things I was interested in, until I found what worked for me. Pick something and don't F*cking read about it or study it, but DO it. If you end up not liking it, repeat with something else. Find YOUR path through experiencing different roads.

Great advice, thanks.

Question: It's easy to ''try out'' things like programming. How do I try out something like for example Real estate or some other business like starting a fitness clothing line (something I've been thinking about), as I can't really start a business at the moment? Just wait until I can?

 

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[smarty]

Great advice, thanks.

Question: It's easy to ''try out'' things like programming. How do I try out something like for example Real estate or some other business like starting a fitness clothing line (something I've been thinking about), as I can't really start a business at the moment? Just wait until I can?

You do it and do it and do it and do it... until the job gets done.
Look for what can you do right now (what value can you offer) to increase your income. It's ok to make small steps as long as you are increasing your value or your net worth.

Sent from my bathroom using Tapatalk 2

 

[Peakdesire]

You do it and do it and do it and do it... until the job gets done.
Look for what can you do right now (what value can you offer) to increase your income. It's ok to make small steps as long as you are increasing your value or your net worth.

Sent from my bathroom using Tapatalk 2

Thanks.

 

[Yasai]

Ouch. Seems like you're trapped in something we call "Neuroticism".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroticism

The best fix for that? Work on your confidence. Life's easy. Life's not meant to be hard. So don't brainwash yourself into believing that minor stuff is all that important. It's really not.

The voice in your head is there for a reason, but it also doesn't know when to stop blabbering once you give it too much airtime.

Again: Work on your confidence. You can handle all that minor stuff you just listed. The universe is a nice place if you let it haha.
Don't look to other people for answers. Make a decision and stick to it. Or adjust it if you aren't satisfied.

It's ok to gather information, but do not let other people make your decisions for you. It has never helped you and you know it.
Other people aren't living your life. Consider your life to be an adventure. Embrace uncertainty. It's what makes things exciting.

None of the stuff you listed seems to be "catastrophic". You can handle that. Become self-reliant, so that other's can rely on you.

 

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[Shdreams]

.Read the book PsychoCybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz

It tells you how your mind is almost like a thermostat, meaning it judges positive and negative feedback. You set a certain goal through imagining it, (vision) and then you work daily and let your mind give you feedback.

I just got back from chapters. I ordered Millionaire Fastlane . Now I Need to go back to chapters........

 

[LightHouse]

Go see a therapist (ignore the social stigma).

Everyone struggles, many complain, few get help and move forward.

 

[smarty]

The best fix for that? Work on your confidence.

Need to make a clear definition here, since I think many people confuse confidence with self-esteem (including me until a few weeks ago):

I define self-confidence as certainty in a particular skill or aptitude.
I define self-esteem as certainty in your worth or your value. It is about who you are at the core.

Confidence is about what you can do.
Self-esteem is about who you are.

Your sense of self-esteem relates to the value you place on your identity. It is the perception of
your own worth.

The issue is, however, that many of us tie in our self-esteem with our self-confidence. That is,
we value ourselves based on external factors - our ability to perform a task, what others may
think of us, or what we have.

-Taken from http://www.rsdnation.com/johnny-truelove/blog/building-high-self-esteem - one of the best articles on this topic in my opinion. Might be a gold thread if posted in a relevant forum here.

 

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[Shdreams]

I'm 20 years old and I'm constantly worrying about the future

The Painful truth is Only time can Answer all of those questions. But they will all be answered. At 20 years old you should be concentrating on sharpening your mind. Whatever it takes to be quick witted and able to hold peoples attention with Intellect. If your all of sudden interested in something soak it in until your bored with it. I'm lightyears from the fast lane. But old enough to know your SOL for figuring out what you want to do in life. And positive thoughts always trump negative.

 

[AustinS28]

Hey dude I am 24 and have felt like this before in my life.

I've done a few things to change it and I am literally stress free. I still think a lot (I feel like most entrepreneurs are thinkers, you have to think outside of the box to succeed in the ways we want to) and have late nights trying to tackle problems, but it does not interfere with my life negatively. Sometimes it scares me how relaxed I am because I am in situations that would freak people out and I stay level.

So I have a few ventures, I don't make money everyday from them, but potentially I could and that is what I want.

So I make lists

-I need to do 3 things minimum everyday to build business. Contact new leads, contact old leads, read, web design, talk to clients or connections about opportunities.

Take care of current business

-Work on tasks for my current clients, train my current clients. Maintaining current business is just as important as generating new business. Keeping current clients happy leads to referrals.

I read success stories.

-We are young, ambitious but not quite there. Reading about others who started off with a dream, came from nothing and then achieved their goals plus some is motivating. I have clients now that came from nothing and are multimillionaires, one in particular. They tell me all of the time "I know you are going to be successful." Through their eyes they see a hardworking driven person with a dream and they were once there too, they know what it takes. I've never been there, I am walking in steps similar to some of them; they know better than me. We are going through these experiences for the first time.

Ultimately

-Ultimately I think it has to do with maturing. I was the same way at 20. You realize that when starting out you really can't go backwards. So I am not rich now, I am making it by, but I am working on projects that are in the works to help make me wealthy. What's the worst that can happen? I keep paying my bills and don't become wealthy? I am not going to die. If something doesn't workout, I'll switch things up and try again and again until it eventually does.

Arnold Schwarzenegger had a great quote along the lines 'You'll only be a champion once you can control your mind, because when you control your mind so that it doesn't control you, you can accomplish anything you set out to do.'

We can either let negative stress rule our lives and make us fearful. Or use negative stress to take action and work toward our goals. The path to success is not straight. I was told by the managing director of investments at Wells Fargo a friend and member of the gym I go to...

I said Chris, I am scared I have a dream I don't know if it's going to workout, I feel stuck. He goes, I started out getting a degree in architecture. Didn't like that. I then worked in my family restaurant for 15 years before getting the job I have now. I make what most people earning a good living/year for NYC in a month. He said through life you'll find you'll do a bunch of things, and then you'll start weaving a path it takes time. You need to leverage your connections, that's how I am where I am today, leverage your connections. Felt so good after we talked. He said you're young and 23, don't be worried.

I am friends with the owner of JSB partners. Member of the gym again. He was an accountant. Heard I was going into business and said I could contact him anytime if I had questions about it. He was an accountant and hated his job. Was told he didn't have the personality to be a head hunter. He quit accounting and worked for somebody as a head hunter for a year. After that year he ventured onto his own with a friend who was fired from his accounting position. He goes, I used to dream when I was in Brooklyn of making 100k a year I thought that'd be good. He said some weeks I place a top level C positions in a company and make 100k for that week. Going into business was the best thing he did for himself.

Point is...the path is not clear. I did not think I would be in this position with these opportunities but I capitalized on everything presented to me and took a chance. Your path may not be clear today, but go after what you want and eventually the dots will connect.

 

[Guest3722A]

@Peakdesire If you go the therapist route, make sure the therapist is a match. Make sure s/he has experience in what you want help with. Don't go with someone that some schmoe tells you they'd send their brother or (?) there. Trust me on this one. There's a lot of negative value and time wasting greed in this world and its getting worse. Your decisions must be thought out.

 

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[The-J]

You've found this place at the age of 20. Congratulations, you're ahead of most people your age.

I don't think you need to see a therapist yet. When the panic and anxiety attacks become constant and get to the point where you're curled up in a ball in a hallway somewhere (been there), then you might want to see someone.

First of all, look at what you DO have. Be grateful for it. If you believe in God, thank God for what you have and what you have access to. You have internet access, a roof over your head, 3 square meals a day, running water, and clothes on your back. You're doing great.

Second, realize that there IS no best path. Everyone's journey is different. That's why Vig says to blaze your own path, because that's literally what we do here. We make our own destiny. 'Optimal' exists in a perfect world, but if you watched the news recently you'd know our world isn't perfect.

Third, set some real goals: for the week, the month, the year, the decade. You're not going to meet all of them, and that's because you dream big. If you're achieving more than 66% of your goals, you're not aiming high enough. Then focus on achieving them.

Fourth... get to work! Start shit. Lose money. F*ck up. Fail at business a couple of times. Don't worry about getting a mentor: you'll get world class advice from people as you meet them.

Whenever you start anything (learning a language, starting a business, playing a sport), you will suck. You won't know that you suck, because you just started. You start and then realize, WOW I SUCK! Man, let's try this again... and you keep trying again until you figure out a piece of the puzzle. "OK yes, I should be doing this from now on, I'll keep it in mind..." You learn more and more things you have to do until you end up developing a sort of formula that works most of the time. Then, at some point you throw away the formula and make shit work bigger and better than before.

Funny thing about mistakes is that no matter how rich you get, no matter how well-liked you become, no matter how respected you become, you will still make mistakes. Big ones, too. Don't worry about em, if you can help it.

tl;dr F*ck SOME SHIT UP MAN

 

[Peakdesire]

Hey dude I am 24 and have felt like this before in my life.

I've done a few things to change it and I am literally stress free. I still think a lot (I feel like most entrepreneurs are thinkers, you have to think outside of the box to succeed in the ways we want to) and have late nights trying to tackle problems, but it does not interfere with my life negatively. Sometimes it scares me how relaxed I am because I am in situations that would freak people out and I stay level.

So I have a few ventures, I don't make money everyday from them, but potentially I could and that is what I want.

So I make lists

-I need to do 3 things minimum everyday to build business. Contact new leads, contact old leads, read, web design, talk to clients or connections about opportunities.

Take care of current business

-Work on tasks for my current clients, train my current clients. Maintaining current business is just as important as generating new business. Keeping current clients happy leads to referrals.

I read success stories.

-We are young, ambitious but not quite there. Reading about others who started off with a dream, came from nothing and then achieved their goals plus some is motivating. I have clients now that came from nothing and are multimillionaires, one in particular. They tell me all of the time "I know you are going to be successful." Through their eyes they see a hardworking driven person with a dream and they were once there too, they know what it takes. I've never been there, I am walking in steps similar to some of them; they know better than me. We are going through these experiences for the first time.

Ultimately

-Ultimately I think it has to do with maturing. I was the same way at 20. You realize that when starting out you really can't go backwards. So I am not rich now, I am making it by, but I am working on projects that are in the works to help make me wealthy. What's the worst that can happen? I keep paying my bills and don't become wealthy? I am not going to die. If something doesn't workout, I'll switch things up and try again and again until it eventually does.

Arnold Schwarzenegger had a great quote along the lines 'You'll only be a champion once you can control your mind, because when you control your mind so that it doesn't control you, you can accomplish anything you set out to do.'

We can either let negative stress rule our lives and make us fearful. Or use negative stress to take action and work toward our goals. The path to success is not straight. I was told by the managing director of investments at Wells Fargo a friend and member of the gym I go to...

I said Chris, I am scared I have a dream I don't know if it's going to workout, I feel stuck. He goes, I started out getting a degree in architecture. Didn't like that. I then worked in my family restaurant for 15 years before getting the job I have now. I make what most people earning a good living/year for NYC in a month. He said through life you'll find you'll do a bunch of things, and then you'll start weaving a path it takes time. You need to leverage your connections, that's how I am where I am today, leverage your connections. Felt so good after we talked. He said you're young and 23, don't be worried.

I am friends with the owner of JSB partners. Member of the gym again. He was an accountant. Heard I was going into business and said I could contact him anytime if I had questions about it. He was an accountant and hated his job. Was told he didn't have the personality to be a head hunter. He quit accounting and worked for somebody as a head hunter for a year. After that year he ventured onto his own with a friend who was fired from his accounting position. He goes, I used to dream when I was in Brooklyn of making 100k a year I thought that'd be good. He said some weeks I place a top level C positions in a company and make 100k for that week. Going into business was the best thing he did for himself.

Point is...the path is not clear. I did not think I would be in this position with these opportunities but I capitalized on everything presented to me and took a chance. Your path may not be clear today, but go after what you want and eventually the dots will connect.

Tremendous reply. Thanks a million Sir.

 

[Peakdesire]

You've found this place at the age of 20. Congratulations, you're ahead of most people your age.

I don't think you need to see a therapist yet. When the panic and anxiety attacks become constant and get to the point where you're curled up in a ball in a hallway somewhere (been there), then you might want to see someone.

First of all, look at what you DO have. Be grateful for it. If you believe in God, thank God for what you have and what you have access to. You have internet access, a roof over your head, 3 square meals a day, running water, and clothes on your back. You're doing great.

Second, realize that there IS no best path. Everyone's journey is different. That's why Vig says to blaze your own path, because that's literally what we do here. We make our own destiny. 'Optimal' exists in a perfect world, but if you watched the news recently you'd know our world isn't perfect.

Third, set some real goals: for the week, the month, the year, the decade. You're not going to meet all of them, and that's because you dream big. If you're achieving more than 66% of your goals, you're not aiming high enough. Then focus on achieving them.

Fourth... get to work! Start shit. Lose money. F*ck up. Fail at business a couple of times. Don't worry about getting a mentor: you'll get world class advice from people as you meet them.

Whenever you start anything (learning a language, starting a business, playing a sport), you will suck. You won't know that you suck, because you just started. You start and then realize, WOW I SUCK! Man, let's try this again... and you keep trying again until you figure out a piece of the puzzle. "OK yes, I should be doing this from now on, I'll keep it in mind..." You learn more and more things you have to do until you end up developing a sort of formula that works most of the time. Then, at some point you throw away the formula and make shit work bigger and better than before.

Funny thing about mistakes is that no matter how rich you get, no matter how well-liked you become, no matter how respected you become, you will still make mistakes. Big ones, too. Don't worry about em, if you can help it.

tl;dr F*ck SOME SHIT UP MAN

Thanks SO much man. Awesome reply!!

 

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[Peakdesire]

Ouch. Seems like you're trapped in something we call "Neuroticism".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroticism

The best fix for that? Work on your confidence. Life's easy. Life's not meant to be hard. So don't brainwash yourself into believing that minor stuff is all that important. It's really not.

The voice in your head is there for a reason, but it also doesn't know when to stop blabbering once you give it too much airtime.

Again: Work on your confidence. You can handle all that minor stuff you just listed. The universe is a nice place if you let it haha.
Don't look to other people for answers. Make a decision and stick to it. Or adjust it if you aren't satisfied.

It's ok to gather information, but do not let other people make your decisions for you. It has never helped you and you know it.
Other people aren't living your life. Consider your life to be an adventure. Embrace uncertainty. It's what makes things exciting.

None of the stuff you listed seems to be "catastrophic". You can handle that. Become self-reliant, so that other's can rely on you.

Thanks ALOT!!

 

[Peakdesire]

Ouch. Seems like you're trapped in something we call "Neuroticism".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroticism

The best fix for that? Work on your confidence. Life's easy. Life's not meant to be hard. So don't brainwash yourself into believing that minor stuff is all that important. It's really not.

The voice in your head is there for a reason, but it also doesn't know when to stop blabbering once you give it too much airtime.

Again: Work on your confidence. You can handle all that minor stuff you just listed. The universe is a nice place if you let it haha.
Don't look to other people for answers. Make a decision and stick to it. Or adjust it if you aren't satisfied.

It's ok to gather information, but do not let other people make your decisions for you. It has never helped you and you know it.
Other people aren't living your life. Consider your life to be an adventure. Embrace uncertainty. It's what makes things exciting.

None of the stuff you listed seems to be "catastrophic". You can handle that. Become self-reliant, so that other's can rely on you.

Thanks ALOT!!

 

[Peakdesire]

Something I completely understand, and no you don't need to go to a therapist.

This like my 7th recommendation I should be getting paid commission....Read the book PsychoCybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz

It tells you how your mind is almost like a thermostat, meaning it judges positive and negative feedback. You set a certain goal through imagining it, (vision) and then you work daily and let your mind give you feedback.

Teaches you to plan long-term yes, but never think more than 24 hours behind or ahead from now.

Try it. Just think about what your going to do in the 24 hours ahead, and the 24 hours behind, and don't allow any thoughts of what your going to do beyond that creep in.

You need to remember, all the future is, is a series of moments. Series of Nows. No matter how much work you have, they all come to you one at a time, like an hour glass.
So focus on the one right now, then when the next one comes, focus on it then.

It's the only way.

Hope that helps, it's what solved my problem and gave me more progress and less stress than ever before

All the best


P.s it's a good sign that your going through that, I had a very similar start. If you want it bad enough to take daily action and big risks, you'll make it

Thanks so much dude.

 

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[Peakdesire]

Something I completely understand, and no you don't need to go to a therapist.

This like my 7th recommendation I should be getting paid commission....Read the book PsychoCybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz

It tells you how your mind is almost like a thermostat, meaning it judges positive and negative feedback. You set a certain goal through imagining it, (vision) and then you work daily and let your mind give you feedback.

Teaches you to plan long-term yes, but never think more than 24 hours behind or ahead from now.

Try it. Just think about what your going to do in the 24 hours ahead, and the 24 hours behind, and don't allow any thoughts of what your going to do beyond that creep in.

You need to remember, all the future is, is a series of moments. Series of Nows. No matter how much work you have, they all come to you one at a time, like an hour glass.
So focus on the one right now, then when the next one comes, focus on it then.

It's the only way.

Hope that helps, it's what solved my problem and gave me more progress and less stress than ever before

All the best


P.s it's a good sign that your going through that, I had a very similar start. If you want it bad enough to take daily action and big risks, you'll make it

Thanks so much dude.

 

[jake1720]

Same issue.

Then I started getting disillusioned by the world because I started to discover things weren't like I was taught my whole life(Like someone I recently talked to said. 95% of teachers teach because they can't do). Then I started freaking the F*ck out and getting massive anxiety.

Then I started listening to successful people. Then I started to understand it. Then I understood why after some thought, brain rewiring, and action.

Then I listened to Tony Robins and A few others (Peter Sage comes to mind. Check out his youtube interview. Very smart guy). At first everything sounded like BS but then it started to make sense.

Then I remembered we're just of evolved monkeys fighting over stupid shit because we literally have nothing better to do than fight over stupid shit because all of our needs are taken care of. Literally every moment how you feel is created by your head. Anyone from 200 years ago would be ecstatic to work at mcdonalds for 8 hours a day come home to safe bed and then sleep. It's all perspective.

Life really isn't that hard (if you don't make major mistakes that is, or you live in the middle of a hood).

Also really, it's more who you become than what you get. Remember you can't fail forever. That's my new motto.

 

[Peakdesire]

Same issue.

Then I started getting disillusioned by the world because I started to discover things weren't like I was taught my whole life(Like someone I recently talked to said. 95% of teachers teach because they can't do). Then I started freaking the F*ck out and getting massive anxiety.

Then I started listening to successful people. Then I started to understand it. Then I understood why after some thought, brain rewiring, and action.

Then I listened to Tony Robins and A few others (Peter Sage comes to mind. Check out his youtube interview. Very smart guy). At first everything sounded like BS but then it started to make sense.

Then I remembered we're just of evolved monkeys fighting over stupid shit because we literally have nothing better to do than fight over stupid shit because all of our needs are taken care of. Literally every moment how you feel is created by your head. Anyone from 200 years ago would be ecstatic to work at mcdonalds for 8 hours a day come home to safe bed and then sleep. It's all perspective.

Life really isn't that hard (if you don't make major mistakes that is, or you live in the middle of a hood).

Also really, it's more who you become than what you get. Remember you can't fail forever. That's my new motto.

Haha great perspectives man.

Great motto too.

 

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